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Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Once again,

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Speaker 1: Kathy and I are joining you for some excitement, some questions,

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Speaker 1: some games.

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Speaker 2: I mean, Susan, is this the best part of your day?

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you I enjoy it. I do if and

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Speaker 2: if you have any questions. We love to laugh, We

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Speaker 2: love to answer your fan questions. And you know what,

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Speaker 2: if you want us to answer your question, you have

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Speaker 2: to write and submit it. And the way you're going

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Speaker 2: to do those is go to bachelornation dot com slash

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Speaker 2: Golden Hour and submit away one, two, three. However, many

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Speaker 2: questions you want to ask, submit away.

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Speaker 1: Send us everything, your questions, your updates, and your comments

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Speaker 1: whether you agreed with what.

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Speaker 2: We talked about.

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Speaker 1: And I love that part, you know, because not everybody

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Speaker 1: agrees on every We want your updates, all of it.

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Speaker 1: You can also dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Susan, are you ready? We're going to get into

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Speaker 2: the episode really because we have a lot to cover today,

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Speaker 2: lots of questions. Okay, let's start with our question of

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Speaker 2: the day. Okay, ready, what is the best way to

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Speaker 2: navigate having an argument with your significant other while you're

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Speaker 2: in public with friends. I can answer this for Susan.

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Speaker 2: She carries a mini baseball bat in her purse that extends.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 1: See what I don't like is my whole attitude change.

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Speaker 1: You could see it in my eyes on the face. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but if the best way would be just shut your

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Speaker 1: mouth until you get out of here.

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Speaker 2: So the way I the way I My husband and

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Speaker 2: I used to have a look like if we be

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Speaker 2: a code word. Well it wasn't even a code word.

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Speaker 2: It was like I would my eyes would get big

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Speaker 2: and I would look at him like, don't do this,

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Speaker 2: but not right now. Yeah, I would never say it.

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Speaker 2: I would just give him a look, and honestly, sometimes

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Speaker 2: it was a little strained, and then we'd have the argument.

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Speaker 2: But folks, if you're out there and you think it's

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Speaker 2: ever a good idea to argue, there is no navigating

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Speaker 2: an argument in public. Don't do it. It's bad form.

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Speaker 2: It will make your friends and everyone else feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: And don't make me feel uncomfortable. Yeah, don't bring your

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Speaker 2: problems into your friend's realm, right, I mean, do you agree.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I do agree. I don't think it's a time

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Speaker 1: or place to do it. But I also feel like

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Speaker 1: it ruins the night or the day, whatever you're doing.

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Speaker 2: It's just ruined for everyone or just.

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Speaker 1: You when it's happening and you're not having the argument

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Speaker 1: yet and you're trying to keep from having an argument.

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Speaker 2: It's ruining it for me. Yes, But isn't that better

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Speaker 2: than ruin it for you know, all the agreement fight

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Speaker 2: in front of people? No, no, no, I'm saying, let's

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Speaker 2: just like when you and I were in Saint Martin.

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Speaker 2: Let's just say, I mean we're you know, you aren't

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Speaker 2: my significant other, but we're friends. Let's just say you

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Speaker 2: and I had a disagreement. Would you really when we're

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Speaker 2: with all our friends that we've made me Saint Martin,

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Speaker 2: would you have ever gotten into Never? We wouldn't do it.

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Speaker 1: Me talk about this when we get home.

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Speaker 2: Or I would give you my Kathy look, and you

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Speaker 2: know we know each other now, like right? Yeah? So

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Speaker 2: so people don't do it. It's never good form. It

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Speaker 2: ruins friendships. You know what else, Kathy, you've witnessed. I

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Speaker 2: know I have couples arguing good.

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Speaker 1: I've been in the backseat of the car where I

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Speaker 1: won't mention their name too. Of my dear friends and

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Speaker 1: we're on our way to launch or dinner at a restaurant,

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Speaker 1: and they're going back and forth.

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Speaker 2: I jump in, Yo, yes, because you know why you

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Speaker 2: jump in. You know why you do because exactly, and

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Speaker 2: you're trying to make it opathetic. You're trying to smooth

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Speaker 2: everything over, and of course that never works right.

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Speaker 1: And then I feel the one that's picking on the

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Speaker 1: other one, and I'll call that the other.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like I actually

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Speaker 2: have been in those situations. You know what I do.

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Speaker 2: I leave, I say, you know what I'm telling you.

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Speaker 2: When you were as merritags as long as I was,

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Speaker 2: if that happened, and it did happen a few times

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Speaker 2: with us, I would look at my husband say, Darryl,

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I just got a text. The babysitter

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Speaker 2: is sick. We gotta go. Oh yeah. I don't care

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Speaker 2: if they knew I was lying or not, or I'm out.

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing it. Are you an Irish by girl?

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Speaker 2: I have become an Irish Scoby girl because I got

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Speaker 2: very sad same advice. It takes too long long? Well,

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Speaker 2: I told you We've had this conversation before. I am

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Speaker 2: always grateful to be invited to a party or a

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Speaker 2: wedding or whatever. So I always make sure I say

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Speaker 2: thank you to the person, but I don't go around

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Speaker 2: table tap you know I'm leaving out. They I will

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Speaker 2: go up to the host and say thanks, I've got

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Speaker 2: to run, it's been wonderful, and then I make a

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Speaker 2: bee line for the door. I hear you, all right,

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Speaker 2: you want to get into a feeling questions for today, Susan,

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Speaker 2: please take the first one, and I'm going to take

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Speaker 2: the first one.

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Speaker 1: And it's from Marisa. She's twenty nine, and she writes, Hey,

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Speaker 1: golden ladies, I'm getting married in a few months and

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Speaker 1: I need some thoughts on if this situation with my

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Speaker 1: fiance is weird. We were going through our shot list

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Speaker 1: with our photographer and he wanted to make sure he

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Speaker 1: had a first look shot with his mom because she's

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Speaker 1: keeping her dress a surprise from him until the big day.

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Speaker 2: Wait Ah, sorry, sorry, I'm just I'm dying over this question.

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Speaker 2: Keep going. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I am an only child, so I don't know what

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Speaker 1: boys relationships are like with their moms. But I know

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Speaker 1: you both have sons. Hoping you can help. I feel

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Speaker 1: like the first look should only be something that the

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Speaker 1: bride and groom do on our wedding day. Is it

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Speaker 1: weird he wants to do one with his mom? Or

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Speaker 1: is it sweet? Excited to hear your thoughts.

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Speaker 2: I want to be I want to be that generous, loving,

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Speaker 2: can see things always person. But Marissa, no, this is

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Speaker 2: your wedding day, Mom, back off. I'm sorry. I really.

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Speaker 2: As I get older, Susan, you know we've talked about this,

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Speaker 2: I'm much more of a go along to get along girl,

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Speaker 2: So I wouldn't argue it a first look. No one's

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Speaker 2: going to see it, you know. I wouldn't make a

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Speaker 2: case believe they know it yet exactly only they know it,

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Speaker 2: So let it go. Do I think it's weird? That

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Speaker 2: was your question. I think it's very weird.

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Speaker 1: Different, It is different. But also Mom must feel damn

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Speaker 1: good in that dress.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. Just it's it's on.

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Speaker 1: He obviously has flattered her or complimented her along the way.

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Speaker 1: So let them have their moment.

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Speaker 2: Not first, your first, your first, Well, not only that,

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Speaker 2: I'm saying it's a moment, it's not the first dance.

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Speaker 2: It's it's let them you know, it's not like they're

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Speaker 2: doing in front of your wedding party and your and

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Speaker 2: your guest list. So let them have their first thing, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, the mother son dance and all that that. She

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Speaker 1: deserves that too, right.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I will tell you and as everyone knows

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Speaker 2: now my sol Wait, can I just say Kyle and

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Speaker 2: Candy's anniversary is Saturday, their first anniversary. So I'm giving

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Speaker 2: a shout out to them. Susan married them one year

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Speaker 2: ago today she was not today, but in Saturday it

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Speaker 2: was the officiant. So happynniversary to them. But I'm here

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Speaker 2: to tell you the thought never crossed my mind for

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Speaker 2: your first book. No, and I looked, I look great,

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Speaker 2: But you know what the day was all about Candy

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Speaker 2: and Kyle.

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Speaker 1: It is about them. But if they have that, don't

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Speaker 1: make a fuss.

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Speaker 2: No, don't make a fuss. But let me wait for it. Wait,

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Speaker 2: so you were just thought right out of my brain?

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Speaker 2: What if this is just the beginning, the harbinger of

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Speaker 2: the relationship you get yourself in today? So no, but so,

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Speaker 2: so what do you think about that? Like, you know

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Speaker 2: how that may be setting the setting the scene for

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Speaker 2: their lives. I think the bigger question, Marissa is is

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Speaker 2: are you in a threesome with his mother. I'm just saying,

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Speaker 2: you know, make She says, that's my point. It's I

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Speaker 2: just said, so is he going to say, Mom has

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Speaker 2: to come for dinner every Sunday night. Mom wants to

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Speaker 2: go on vacation with us. I think the wedding picture.

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Speaker 2: I'm just saying, see, you know, pay attention to where

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Speaker 2: this is going. Let him do the Picture's sweet. It

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Speaker 2: is sweet. Okay, it is sweet, But I'm just saying,

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Speaker 2: wouldn't you want to kind of pay attention to theree

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Speaker 2: your eyes open, keep your eyes open. But she just

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Speaker 2: wants a first look for her song. No moment, Well,

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Speaker 2: he wants it. He wants the first look.

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Speaker 1: Anyway because she's holding she's not showing him the dress.

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Speaker 1: It's a surprise wait from him, wait a minute, first

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Speaker 1: look shot with his mom because she's keeping her dress

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Speaker 1: a surprise from him.

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Speaker 2: And he wanted to make sure he had a first

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Speaker 2: look shot with his mom. He's doing it for his

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Speaker 2: mother because he loves his mom. Got momm He's overbearing sometimes.

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Speaker 2: I know I would take heat for this. I'm just saying,

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Speaker 2: take the photograph, let the mother have her moment in

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Speaker 2: the sun.

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Speaker 1: We want to see the picture. I want to see

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Speaker 1: the dress.

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Speaker 2: I want to see the picture, and just make sure

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Speaker 2: he knows Mom is not coming to dinner every Sunday

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Speaker 2: unless it's my son, and then Kyle, I'll be over

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Speaker 2: at six o'clock every Sunday. All right, let's move on, Okay,

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Speaker 2: let us know how the wedding goes. And by the way, congratulations,

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Speaker 2: hope you have a fabulous wedding. Okay, Hannah writes, Hi,

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Speaker 2: Kathy and Susan love your podcast. My name is Hannah

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Speaker 2: and I'm twenty seven years old. My fiance and I

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Speaker 2: have been together six years in January, and lately he's

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Speaker 2: mentioned how we don't interact with each other that much anymore.

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Speaker 2: We have lived together for almost four years now, so

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Speaker 2: we obviously spend a lot of time together, and I

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Speaker 2: feel that's why we have lost a lot of interaction.

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Speaker 2: I don't get that we spend a lot of our

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Speaker 2: time together watching our TV shows. When we go out

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Speaker 2: to eat, we don't have much to talk about, so

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Speaker 2: we just sit on our phone. I don't want this

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Speaker 2: to break us up because I really do love him

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Speaker 2: and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

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Speaker 2: What can we do to get our interaction back to

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Speaker 2: what it used to be. What says you, Susan, this

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Speaker 2: is not good. Not good because it was just a

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Speaker 2: week ago.

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Speaker 1: I was out and I was looking around, not on

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Speaker 1: my phone, and I was looking at this couple. They

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Speaker 1: were obviously on vacation together, and there was no conversation,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, how sad you got to talk about something.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if you're being annoying, talk about something because.

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Speaker 2: Well, wait, she says, what can we do to get

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Speaker 2: our interaction back to what it used to be? Let

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Speaker 2: me give you a couple one two threes. Put your

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Speaker 2: phones down, don't bring your phones, put them in your pocket,

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Speaker 2: and and say we're not having any phones. That would

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Speaker 2: be one idea. Another idea would be do something that

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Speaker 2: you don't typically do. Go hiking if you've never hiked before.

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Speaker 2: Put some spice breath, yeah, put some spice back into

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Speaker 2: your relationship. The fact that you said we don't we

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Speaker 2: obviously spend a lot of time together. You know what

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Speaker 2: you're missing there. You're saying quality time, quality time, Hannah,

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Speaker 2: what are you guys doing together? If you're taking each

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Speaker 2: other for granted, that is not going to bode well

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Speaker 2: for a marriage. So I would encourage you in shock

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Speaker 2: value too.

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Speaker 1: I would talk about something sexy or I bought something

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Speaker 1: way do you see it on me? Just get a

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Speaker 1: little rise and get his interest.

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Speaker 2: It's everything always about sex with you.

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Speaker 1: No, No, I said, do something fun first, go for

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Speaker 1: a hike. And when you're out of breath selling you

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Speaker 1: can't breathe. I mean that's conversation or you break your wrists.

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Speaker 2: That that I'm just saying. I think that the red

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Speaker 2: flag here for me is she said. We obviously spend

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Speaker 2: a lot of time together, and I feel like that's

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Speaker 2: why we have lost a lot of interaction. Let me

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Speaker 2: say to you, Hannah, when you're married, it can you know?

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Speaker 2: You have things to do. You have kids to raise,

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Speaker 2: jobs to do, houses to clean, laundry to do, but

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Speaker 2: you better be finding time for each other and making

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Speaker 2: each other feel special, or that relationship is doomed. Do

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Speaker 2: you agree? Isn't I totally agree with you? Again? We agreed.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what the hell? So what can you do? Spark?

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Speaker 2: Get your interaction, chant some spark, change jobs down, put

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Speaker 2: the phones down, take a weekend together.

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Speaker 1: And think about what I just said. I was sitting

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Speaker 1: in the restaurant watching people and there was no interaction

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Speaker 1: and it was boring. And that's not who you want

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Speaker 1: to be. You need to put some kind of a

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Speaker 1: spark conversation. I don't care if you're talking about the

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Speaker 1: next door neighbor, but.

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Speaker 2: Talk well, did you hear what? The one thing here

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Speaker 2: is he mentioned her fiance. Hannah's fiance. We don't interact

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Speaker 2: with each other that much anymore. And so if she's

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Speaker 2: saying that, that is he's giving you a warning their Hannah,

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Speaker 2: you better figure it out and figure it out together.

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Speaker 2: How are you gonna get that spice back? They watch

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Speaker 2: all those TV shows together? You could talk about the show,

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Speaker 2: I mean, or say, you know, I can think, just talk.

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Speaker 2: I mean, do you think watching TV every night together

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Speaker 2: is a good relationship? Not every night?

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Speaker 1: But some people work hard, they come home, they eat,

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Speaker 1: they're tired, and they put on the TV till they

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Speaker 1: go to bed.

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Speaker 2: Yea, and you know what they need to do, take

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Speaker 2: a ten minute walk together and talk about their day,

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Speaker 2: what was important to you? How are you feeling? Making

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Speaker 2: them feel special? These are things I've learned in my life.

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Speaker 2: And so Hannah, I get it. You're twenty seven and.

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Speaker 1: Other people even so times you know, change it up,

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Speaker 1: have another couple join you.

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Speaker 3: For what talk? Okay, just check, step up your game,

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Speaker 3: let us get yeah, yeah yeah, let us know how

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Speaker 3: it goes. We wish you the best. He sounds like

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Speaker 3: a good guy. You sound like a great girl. But

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Speaker 3: you gotta work relationships, take work, hand out.

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Speaker 2: Nobody says that when you get married it's a job.

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Speaker 2: It's a job. It takes work. You got it. So

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Speaker 2: I hope that you, guys, regain and refined what brought

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Speaker 2: you together and rekindle that love and attraction that you

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Speaker 2: found and let us know. Please, let us know you

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Speaker 2: got this girl. Okay. The next one's from anonymous.

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Speaker 1: Hi, ladies, I feel really embarrassed asking this, but I

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Speaker 1: really feel like you guys can help. I've been with

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend for six years and I love him so much. Lately,

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Speaker 1: our sex life has been slipping. I haven't been able

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Speaker 1: to work out due to some health issues I've been

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Speaker 1: dealing with, so I've gotten really insecure and down about

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Speaker 1: my body. I also take antidepress and so my sex

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Speaker 1: drive is really low. Basically, I never want to have

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Speaker 1: sex and it's starting to affect my relationship. What do

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Speaker 1: you suggest I do to break out of this rut?

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Speaker 1: I'm still extremely attracted to my boyfriend. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it is though when he goes to initiate, I

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Speaker 1: just never want to. I miss having that form of

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Speaker 1: intimacy in my relationship. So any advice would be much appreciated.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I mean, it's so sad, but the first

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00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,880
Speaker 2: thing that came to my brain was fake it till

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Speaker 2: you make it, have sex even if you're not interested.

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Speaker 2: But then I thought different too, though, do they know? Wow?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, seriously.

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Speaker 1: Happy talk to the doctor. Change the antidepressed. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how old you are, but hormones, there's there's.

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Speaker 2: I would google it too. I don't think they she's

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Speaker 2: been with her boyfriend for six years. I don't think

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Speaker 2: that we're talking about it, and I don't think anonymous

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Speaker 2: as an older person, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Maybe, but try something different, like something that sex toys

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Speaker 1: that he can turn you on with, whether it's a

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00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 1: sex toy or something that's going to stimulate you differently

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Speaker 1: than how it's been.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think sex drive comes and goes it does

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Speaker 2: you know you're not? But I also think antidepressants there's

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Speaker 2: certain medications. There's no question about it. We do sex drive,

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Speaker 2: there's no question. So I think Susan's right, go and

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Speaker 2: talk to your doctor. In the short term, you know,

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Speaker 2: sex is an intimate it's part of a relationship, and

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Speaker 2: it's I if he's if he's interested in having sex

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Speaker 2: and you're not, that is going to hurt your relationship.

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Speaker 2: From my right, yes it is.

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Speaker 1: And you don't want a monotonous sex life either that

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Speaker 1: it's the same way every time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, change it up. Yeah, but here, but she's saying

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Speaker 2: she doesn't want to have sex when he initiates. And

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Speaker 2: that's so funny. You said that, Susan, because she said,

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Speaker 2: what do you suggest I do to break out of

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Speaker 2: this rut? You're not in the rut. You don't want

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Speaker 2: to have sex. Call it what it is. You don't

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Speaker 2: want to have sex. You need to get some help

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Speaker 2: about increasing your sex drive, how.

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Speaker 1: To go back to the gym. And you're feeling really

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Speaker 1: insecure and down about your body. He's obviously not complaining

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Speaker 1: feel sexy in your own skin. I mean it's easy

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Speaker 1: to say, but start saying your affirmations in the mirror

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Speaker 1: at night, you know, put it out to the universe.

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Speaker 2: I have a body. I have a sexy body. I

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Speaker 2: have a sexy I am.

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Speaker 1: Worthy, I am wealthy, I am why all right?

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Speaker 2: We you know I I listen, Anonymous. I think you've

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Speaker 2: got to get some medical help, maybe some therapist help.

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Speaker 2: You know, that's not our strong suit here, but I

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00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 2: think that you are right that it is starting to

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Speaker 2: affect your relationship. So go and talk to your doctor,

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Speaker 2: talk to a therapist, maybe a sex therapist. Maybe fake

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Speaker 2: it till you make it, But you got to try

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Speaker 2: something different from what you're doing, because if you keep

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Speaker 2: doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting

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Speaker 2: what you've been getting. Okay, now, are you racism? It's

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Speaker 2: called makeup or break up, and we're gonna we're gonna

347
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Speaker 2: play this, just you and me to get a girlfriend. Okay.

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Speaker 2: We're going to take turns reading hypotheticals and then we'll

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Speaker 2: say whether we would break up or try to make

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Speaker 2: it work. Okay, So I'm gonna get and here I'm

351
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:05,159
Speaker 2: going to start us off. Your husband confesses that they

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Speaker 2: or he secretly took out a thirty thousand dollars loan

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Speaker 2: before you moved in together and never told you you

354
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Speaker 2: only find out when debt collectors start calling. Asshole, tell

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Speaker 2: me what you're really you paid? Why are not paying

356
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Speaker 2: your bill? Well, I don't think. Let me just say

357
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 2: that ship has sailed, because now there is a debt collector.

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Speaker 2: So what do you do? Do you make up with

359
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Speaker 2: them or break up with them? You make up with

360
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Speaker 2: them if you love them. I mean, oh, you're gonna

361
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Speaker 2: pay that three You're gonna pay that three thousand dollar bill.

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Speaker 2: He can't. A debt collector is there?

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Speaker 1: If he had the money, take over the finances and

364
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Speaker 1: make sure that payment is made.

365
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Speaker 2: What about you? Well, if it's going to way to check,

366
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Speaker 2: it's over, let's not do this.

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Speaker 1: Yes, like Kathy has thirty thousands, you're going to get

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Speaker 1: out spanking tonight.

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Speaker 2: You said your husband if you weren't my I gotta

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Speaker 2: be honest. If you were my boyfriend and I was

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Speaker 2: living with him, he's out. I take marriage. I you

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Speaker 2: know very seriously. I'm with you. We would have a

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Speaker 2: very serious conversation about finances going forward, and I would

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Speaker 2: want to see check stubs or you know whatever. There

375
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Speaker 2: would be an arrangement. I'm not divorcing him over that. However, However,

376
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Speaker 2: wait a minute. However, he's going to take another loan

377
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Speaker 2: of thirty thousand. You know why, He's going to buy

378
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Speaker 2: me a Philip petiitue diamond and crusted watch. No, man,

379
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Speaker 2: that's a hard one. Okay.

380
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Speaker 1: Your partner admits they drunkenly kissed an ex at a wedding,

381
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Speaker 1: but swear it meant nothing and immediately regretted it. W

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Speaker 1: t fly kissed an ex?

383
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Speaker 2: Kiss my butt? No, you're gonna break up? Oh no, listen, Susan,

384
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 2: the big talk or kiss my seriously seriously? Okay, okay,

385
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: takes two. I'm gonna go kiss one of my ex.

386
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Speaker 2: How do you feel? But it's not going to mean anything.

387
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Speaker 2: You're not really going to do that? No, I would,

388
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Speaker 2: I would? You know what. I gotta be honest. I always,

389
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 2: you know, I always look at words. I'm being honest.

390
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 2: You're gonna laugh at me, But I look at the

391
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: the fecissifty of the words. Your partner, I don't know.

392
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Speaker 2: If it's he been my partner for a week, he's

393
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Speaker 2: out of there. If he's been my partner for a year,

394
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a conversation with him. It really, to me,

395
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Speaker 2: would depend on how long he's been right.

396
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Speaker 1: How would that conversation make you okay with this? What

397
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: would that conversation sound like?

398
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 2: If I'd been with him long enough, I believe I

399
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 2: would know I just Kathy, I'm not saying all women.

400
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 2: I think I would know his intentions and I would

401
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: know his character. And would I like it that he

402
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 2: did it? Absolutely not. But I will tell you it

403
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 2: would make me on guard. I'd be wary, I'd be cautious,

404
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 2: I'd be looking to see and if it ever happened again,

405
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: if it ever happened again, he'd be out because you

406
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: know what I don't you know, Susan, We people in

407
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: Bachelor Nation, we talk about this stuff offline. Susan. How

408
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,919
Speaker 2: many times have I said to you the man that

409
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to be with, I'm going to trust him implicitly,

410
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 2: and he could trust me implicitly. And if this happens, well,

411
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Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying, then I'm going to be wary.

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Speaker 2: And if I've been his partner for a month, a

413
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: month and a day, it's over. And you know what,

414
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 2: don't drink anymore if you can't help it. Well, alcohol

415
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 2: is an excuse I think for bad behavior. All Right,

416
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 2: here's the next one your partner refuses to post about

417
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 2: you on social media after two years together, saying they

418
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: like to keep their private life. They like to keep

419
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 2: their private life separate when you confront them, but they

420
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 2: frequently post about their friends, jobs and hobbies. So I

421
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 2: can tell you this happened to a very good friend

422
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 2: of mine. This actually and you know why he did.

423
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 2: He would post pictures. I mean, I bet this is

424
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: like this. It could be them. Yeah, it could be them,

425
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna and I'm not going to mention their names,

426
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 2: but I will tell you the advice I gave her,

427
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: and I turned out I was right. You know why

428
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 2: he didn't post her He had a girlfriend in every

429
00:24:54,240 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 2: port Yep, he travels a lot. He had girlfriends in Europe,

430
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 2: girlfriends in Texas. And I said to her, if he weren't,

431
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: I remember we had this conversation. I said, if he

432
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 2: were not posting at all, that would be one thing.

433
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 2: But he's posting. But he's posting pictures of his friends,

434
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 2: girls and guys. He's with you, like his two things, everything,

435
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 2: but not her. And I said, that's a red flag.

436
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 2: And when about six months later, guess what she found out?

437
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 2: And guess what it was. That's a break that's absolutely

438
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: a breakup, all right.

439
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: Your husband gets fired from their job for misconduct, and

440
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 1: by that she means flirting with coworkers, sending inappropriate emails.

441
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 1: They insist it was harmless and blown out of proportion.

442
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 2: He got fired fired, You're oh done because they'll probably lie.

443
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: I mean again, I don't know. I don't want to

444
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: sound wishy washing got it, I'm turning I'm morphine into

445
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: use zon. I don't want to sound wishy wash it.

446
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: It would depend how long I've been married to this guy. Yeah,

447
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: you know I would go from I'd want more details,

448
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 2: you know what, Kay, I'm a jokester and say things.

449
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 1: It might be I'm giving him the benefit that if

450
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: he shows her everything and she goes, oh, seriously, you know,

451
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: I get it, but you're stupid, don't ever do it again.

452
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: I could maybe not be a breakup that you would

453
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: make up depending on what was in the emails. That

454
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: would I would have to see the wording.

455
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 2: What if he just yeah, but you know that's a

456
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: slippery slope too. Honestly for me, it would be again,

457
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: I'd look at what I thought his intentions were. You know,

458
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 2: if it's my husband. I know him pretty well, and

459
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 2: for me, I might not leave him right that minute,

460
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 2: but I think it would, really I would, and start.

461
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: It would cut a swath into our relationships. It would. Yes,

462
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 2: So it's a makeup and maybe breakup. We'll give it time.

463
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,479
Speaker 2: That's a can I just say? I have turned into Susan.

464
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 2: Susan always says both. You can't have both, Susan, you

465
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 2: have to pick one of it. No, I don't, all right,

466
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: Kathy's now adopted that make up? Maybe break up? All right?

467
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 2: Go the next one.

468
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,239
Speaker 1: Your husband quits his job without telling you and he

469
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,479
Speaker 1: has no plan.

470
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 2: Babe, why did you do that?

471
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a breakup because there's obviously a reason, right.

472
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: I gotta get more facts. I need more facts.

473
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need more facts. I would say, don't break

474
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 2: up over that. I don't know. It's just if your

475
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 2: man quits his job, you're going don't let the door

476
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 2: hit you in the ass. I'm gonna you know what,

477
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 2: How are we going to pay the AMEX bills? I

478
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: just bought myself a new Philip Patigue diamond and crustin watch.

479
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 2: How we paying for that one? I don't know? That's

480
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: that is again, it is not a breakup imminently, but

481
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 2: it might portend. I love that word. It might portendo, Yeah, exactly.

482
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 2: All right. Your partner lies about small things constantly, where

483
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 2: they are, who they're with, how much they spent, but

484
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: nothing major. Those are all major, red red red red,

485
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 2: don't crimson, crimson, crimson, don't lie to me, you know?

486
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: Can I tell you it's stupid? Okay? Wait, I have

487
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 2: a question with your husband. Were there any like I

488
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 2: can tell you what my NEGOI non negotiable was with

489
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 2: my husband. Did you have any non negotiables like you

490
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: do that and we're done? With your husband?

491
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably if you ever cheat or you know, lie, Sure,

492
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: I don't know.

493
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: So with my husband, I said I can deal with

494
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 2: a lot, but if you ever cheat on me, I'm out.

495
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: And he said the same thing. That was my thing.

496
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: That was understand So we have to go back to

497
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: a little question. You're sending emails to other women, oway

498
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 2: you're out? All right? Oh okay.

499
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: Your partner never takes your side when you're in public.

500
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: If you're having a disagreement with your friend, for example,

501
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: even about something silly, he never sides with you.

502
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 2: I'm not breaking up with him, but I'm going to

503
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: tear him a new one. When what is your problem? Like?

504
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: Why can't you ever agree with me? Yeah? Yeah I would?

505
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: I mean would you? Would you do in public? Though?

506
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 2: Or would you wait? You got home?

507
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: Well me, if it happens and he's doing it again,

508
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: I probably.

509
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 2: Go why do you always do that? You never side

510
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: with me in public? You would say that? Yeah, but

511
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: would you get get home and get more angry? Oh,

512
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 2: I'd snip it in the butt? No, no, you think

513
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 2: that would nip it in the butt. He never ever

514
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 2: takes your side in public? Why? I want to know why?

515
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 2: And you're going to ask him around all the friends

516
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 2: that are well.

517
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: On what you're saying and what the situation is. Not

518
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: every time now, but I would something. I would go

519
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: home and talk about you.

520
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not breaking up, No, but I want to

521
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 2: talk about it. Why I talk about it? And he's

522
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: going to have to buy me a very expensive make gives?

523
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: I get Wait, why does it? I mean, here's the

524
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 2: thing that worries me about us. You know me and

525
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 2: you know I'm joking, and that I don't need a

526
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: man who can buy me a thirty thousand dollars watch now,

527
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 2: if he wants to, I'd be you know, if somebody

528
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: wants to give me a red box that would be

529
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,239
Speaker 2: Cardier or a blue box that would be Tiffany. I

530
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: would be like, thank you so much. But that would

531
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 2: that be enough for you for a guy? For what

532
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: to to give you gifts? I'm saying, would that be

533
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 2: enough for you to be interested in a guy? If

534
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 2: he showered you with expensive gifts, I need to like him?

535
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 2: Would you give the gifts back? No, Susan's vehemently shaking

536
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: her head. No, hell no, not just no, hell no.

537
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: And he wouldn't get those guys in my lifetime. I mean,

538
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 2: you know, I had a husband who bought me some

539
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: nice gifts. But I you know, I had a guy.

540
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 2: I had a guy I dated, I swear to god.

541
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 2: He bought me a set of mixing bowls. He bought

542
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 2: he bought me a steamer of frother for my coffee,

543
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: as like.

544
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: Sweetest for a day, like a birthday or something or

545
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: just random gifts.

546
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 2: No, for my birthday, No, just like Christmas. It was

547
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 2: like utilitarian, you know, you know, here's sit down. Can

548
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 2: I tell you what he gave me? For my birthday though,

549
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 2: that I still love because you know, everyone knows me.

550
00:31:54,880 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 2: I'm a voracious reader. He gave me a kindle, the

551
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: top of the line kindle, and you know what, can

552
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: I tell you how often I think of him when

553
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 2: I read on that kindle book. Oh my god, you

554
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 2: really do know me, don't you? All right, this was

555
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 2: so much fun. Again, I just hope that you guys,

556
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 2: your listeners love listening to us and hearing our advice

557
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,959
Speaker 2: and just getting to know a little bit more about us,

558
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: because again, this friendship that started on the Golden Bachelor

559
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 2: is real, and we have so much fun together. And

560
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: we always wish that, you know, the people listening to

561
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 2: us have people in their lives too who care and lovely.

562
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 2: That's my wish for today.

563
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: If you are enjoying us, make sure to follow us

564
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: on Bachelor Happy Hour, and you know we have new

565
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: stuff coming out every single week.

566
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: I don't want you to miss it because you never

567
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: know what we're going to talk about. That's right, could

568
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 2: be a question from you. It could be so if

569
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: you wanted to be a question for me, they do

570
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: cappy tell them what to do. If I swear, I'm

571
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 2: just gonna tattoo it on my forehead. Submit your questions

572
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 2: by going or comments or whatever by going to bachelornation

573
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 2: dot com, slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram

574
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 2: at Bachelor Happy Hour.

575
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: And if you have a problem, you just let us

576
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: know and we will try to help you. We will

577
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: just make sure to listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden

578
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to

579
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: your podcast.

580
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 2: This was fun. Thanks for doing us. Have a great

581
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 2: week everybody. Yeah,