1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: How everybody, and welcome back to Katie's Crib. In this episode, 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: we are going to tackle a very big topic that 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: we've covered, like in small ways throughout some of our 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: earlier episodes. Here it is you, guys, what does it 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: mean to be a mom? When our baby was born? 6 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: So we're our identities as moms, they were also born, 7 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: and a lot of baggage comes with that. There are 8 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: so many expectations for what kind of mom we're supposed 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: to be like based on society and culture and our 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: relationship with our own moms and our own mother figures. 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: And it is wonderful and scary and super exciting journey. Yes, 12 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: and it will probably well, it's never gonna end. We 13 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,639 Speaker 1: know that this journey isn't we're gonna end. So we're 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: gonna talk about the ideas of maternal instinct, like finding 15 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: your inner mama bear and asserting yourself as a new 16 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: mom and then a mom that's like not so new, 17 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: You're just a mom, that's your new identity out in 18 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: the world. Whitney Port is here today to talk about 19 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: this and her own experiences as a first time mom. 20 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's cripor I am a huge fan. Thank you. 21 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: The Hills in the City may have been the first 22 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: reality television show my husband and I really sunk our 23 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: teeth in. Really, I watched so many reality TV. I 24 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: mean I used to when I was younger, and I 25 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: still do now. So it's funny that I actually ended 26 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 1: up on a reality TV show. Like I got a 27 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:26,680 Speaker 1: whole podcast for a hundred hours. My husband's like, why 28 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: are you talking about mom? Shit? Can you just talk 29 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: about The Hills in the City and with the Port. 30 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: I can't believe right now as much as you want, seriously, 31 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: but I have a real thing with reality where like 32 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,040 Speaker 1: I guess because um, I just they always used to 33 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 1: make fun of me at ABC scandal events, like when 34 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: the Bachelor and Bachelorette were there, I would lose my ship. 35 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: It's like it's like Brad Pitt could be there and 36 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: I wouldn't give two ships. But like, oh my god, 37 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: like a reality television like that is a superstar to 38 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: and I watch you and you're in my living room 39 00:01:58,680 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: and I like know who you are as a person, 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: but I kind of don't. Yeah, there's like a weird 41 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: level of intimacy you have with these people where you 42 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,679 Speaker 1: feel like you know them, so I feel the same way. 43 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I remember seeing someone from h on TV 44 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: is the challenge you watch that show Real World? Okay, 45 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: so I ustill watch that chow but forever, And like 46 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: I remember seeing someone that was like a show staple 47 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: and I've freaked out. I was like, oh my god, 48 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: I would so much rather be seeing this person and 49 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: go up and going up and say eye to them 50 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: than like, you know, Kate Blanchet or yeah, like that's okay, 51 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: Like I maybe want to see what her skin looks like, 52 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: but like other than that, I'm never going to go 53 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: have a conversation. Yeah, you and I actually have we 54 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: both have suns, yes, and they're kind of the same age. Yeah, 55 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: pretty much. Let's go back in chimes to um when 56 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: you were pregnant, Like how did you feel about becoming 57 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: a mom? Were you excited? Were you scared? You? Was 58 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: it something you always wanted to do? It was not 59 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: something that I always wanted to do, but because my 60 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,519 Speaker 1: husband really wanted it and I kind of like I 61 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: thought I wanted it, we just decided let's go for it. 62 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: But I didn't really realize like how fast it was 63 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: going to happen, even though I understand science and biology. Um, Like, 64 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: I went off my birth control and thought in my head, 65 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, six months a year, like I 66 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: have some time. Literally within two months, I was pregnant 67 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: and I was just like, I was shocked. I was scared. 68 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: I was like, is this even what I really want? 69 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: And honestly kind of scared to even tell my husband 70 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: that because we had made the decision together already, so 71 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: it was kind of too late for me to just 72 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: go back on it, especially when he was the one 73 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: that found the stick that said I'm pregnant and I 74 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: saw his eyes light up, and so, yeah, it was. 75 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: It was really really intense for me, like really throughout 76 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: my whole pregnancy, it was the whole you were You 77 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: were nervous, you didn't know if this was what you 78 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: were I kind of had a similar situation where I 79 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: just was so I was scared too. My husband wanted it. 80 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, I guess, you know, and 81 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: I sort of left it in fate's hands and it 82 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: was I was so I was completely terrified. Um, did 83 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: you enjoy your pregnancy? Like did you have a good pregnancy? 84 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 1: Were you did you did the ten months of being pregnant. 85 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: Was that enough time for you to wrap your brain 86 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: around it or was it like not until you met 87 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 1: your son? So I actually hit me. It wasn't until 88 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: I met my son that it hit me. I also 89 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: chose not to find out if it was a boy 90 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: or a girl. Oh my god, how cool. So it 91 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: was really cool, but it also created this level of 92 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 1: like the unknown where I couldn't I wasn't attached to 93 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: it because I couldn't picture it. We didn't have it 94 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: like the name. So part of me feels like, wow, 95 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: it was really fun and a fun surprise, and like 96 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: maybe I do it again if I do decide to 97 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: have another kid. At Also, I don't know, like maybe 98 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: I did a disservice to myself to not have Like 99 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: I tried to connect with you, you weren't. I was. 100 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: So I found out the sex um mostly because I 101 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: wanted a girl so bad. Did yeah, and I didn't 102 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 1: care great. But then when I saw the boy come out, 103 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: I saw his bright red testicle, I was actually like 104 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: so relieved, like I was really like, oh my god, 105 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 1: kind of thank god. And that's when I knew I'm 106 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,359 Speaker 1: like that I obviously wanted a boy, but I didn't know. Yeah, 107 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: I opened up an envelope that he was a boy, 108 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: and I started sobbing, and I was like, oh shit, 109 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 1: I really wanted a girl. So I was kind of 110 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: relieved I found out only because I was able to 111 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: change the narrative and start imagining what life would want, 112 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,840 Speaker 1: my family will look like with a son. Yeah. I 113 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: had a friend that decided to do a gender reveal 114 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: at a baby shower, at her baby shower, and she 115 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: was like, she was set that she was having a girl. 116 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: She was convinced she was having a girl. And they 117 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: did the gender reveal and it was a boy. And 118 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: she just started crying in front of every in front 119 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: of all her friends and fans. And we have not 120 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: yet seen in a film, and let it be said 121 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: here that it should be that she was mortified. She 122 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: felt awful. Um, okay, now here comes your son. Yes, 123 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: how were your first few months? Did you connect? I 124 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: know you said maybe in pregnancy you were and his 125 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 1: connected right away? Did you connected to him? Was it 126 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: a more of a slow burn? Did you feel that's 127 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,679 Speaker 1: sort of maternal? Did have you always been a maternal person, 128 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: Like do you have nieces and nephews or dogs like 129 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,599 Speaker 1: you know, in different ways. It's interesting because I really 130 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: haven't been a maternal person ever I had. I'm one 131 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: of four, well, I'm one of five kids. Four of 132 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: us are girls. I would say my three other sisters 133 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 1: are extremely maternal, and whenever I'm with them, I feel 134 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 1: like they're always taking care of me, Like I forget 135 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: I'm the kind of person that, like, are you in 136 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: the line the sister? Um, everyone has just always been 137 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: looking after me. And so I've never naturally had that 138 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: maternal instinct. And I think that's part of subconsciously what 139 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: I was scared of was like, was I ever going 140 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: to have that? And what I ever really connect with 141 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: sending on that level that most people do, never had pets. Um. 142 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: I love my nieces and nephews, but I'm not the 143 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 1: kind of person that goes out of my way to 144 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: like see them or by the gifts or you know 145 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: what I mean. That's just not me. But I love 146 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: that this is like because I do feel like there 147 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: are a lot of women in the world who are 148 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: just like you know that I have a lot of 149 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: really good girlfriends who were just like they're just like 150 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 1: not really the maternal people. Yeah, And like I do 151 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: maternal things to sending, like I'm very conscious of what 152 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: he's eating when he's eating, like I never want him 153 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: to be hungry, and never want him to be cold, 154 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: like I never want him to be ignored. There's obviously 155 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: things that I think are maternal, but on like a 156 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: large scale, I would not classify myself as a very 157 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: maternal energy, would you say that? Um? Going back to 158 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: this question, do you feel connected to him right away? Yeah? 159 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: I didn't. I mean, okay, now I shouldn't. So my 160 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: first when I first was with him in the hospital 161 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: for the first couple of days, I felt extremely connected 162 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: to him. I was like awake every second, staring at him, 163 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: like his livelihood just consumed me. And then I went 164 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: home and I started to have all these issues with breastfeeding, 165 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: and I had a night nurse too, and I kind 166 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: of was like, can you just deal with him? Like 167 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: I had similar that was very similar to my experience 168 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: you had, so I it was excruciatingly painful to breastfeed. UM. 169 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: I resented the time with him because it mostly meant 170 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: that I needed to be feeding exactly, and I was 171 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: just like I just couldn't. I couldn't connect because it 172 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: was sad and upset exactly exactly planing down the minutes 173 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: to when it was time to feed again, and you 174 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: were almost like oh no, no, no no, no, no no, 175 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: like I don't even want this to come exactly, like 176 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 1: I just kind of wanted to escape, even though I 177 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: did have I had crazy thoughts like of of what 178 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: could possibly ever happened to him, Like I went, you 179 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: know when you sometimes think like the craziest, well, you're 180 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: literally insane, your hormones are rage. Yeah, so you've just 181 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: gone through a physical trauma on like anything you've ever done, 182 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: and then you're just supposed to be okay, like the 183 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: craziest crazies. I was like, I'm on a plane leaving 184 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: starting a new life. I was like, pee's the funk out, 185 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. Yeah, I'm getting on a plane. 186 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: I was like in scandal Land. I was like, I'm 187 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 1: going to Europe. I'm getting European boyfriend. My vagina will heal. Yeah, 188 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: I'm just ever mystery, my name, who I am, where 189 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: we come from? Yeah. It was but then thoughts also 190 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 1: of like things happening to him that were so scary, 191 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: where I would reassure myself that okay, I do really 192 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: love him and and want him my baby because I 193 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: am so scared of these things happening um, which is 194 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: a crazy thought that like that doesn't just come naturally. 195 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: So it really wasn't until I stopped breastfeeding at six 196 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 1: months that I feel like I could really connect with 197 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: him um and more around that time, like ten months, 198 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 1: when they actually start really responding personality and not it 199 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: just being like me giving, giving, giving all the time 200 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 1: and getting nothing in return. And like even now I 201 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: struggle with that a little bit, Like I feel like 202 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: I will really thrive as a mom when I can 203 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: actually have conversations with him. I say this to people 204 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: always be like upset about oh my husband is not 205 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: great at this or not great at that, or my 206 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: partner is not great at this, or I'm not great 207 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: at this, And I say, well, you know, I think 208 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 1: everyone's going to excel at different moments, Like some people 209 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: might be so obsessed with babies and some people might 210 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: be so obsessed with all and then some people are 211 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: going to kick ass with teenagers, like they're going to 212 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: be really good at like sitting down and navigating some 213 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:12,079 Speaker 1: fucking difficult emotional development. Totally, totally, I think it's like, yeah, 214 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 1: and it's also the physicality of being a mom that 215 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: are you, I'm not. He doesn't really want to cut 216 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: up with me very much. Like he's a very busy boy, 217 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: Like he's yeah, he's not like a super cuddly guy, 218 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: but I just more mean like the like getting him 219 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: in the car seat and carrying him everywhere and like 220 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 1: chasing after him, and you know, all that's keeping him 221 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: busy all the time. Like I just get so worn 222 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: out from that. It's exhausted. It's like, I mean, I 223 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: don't know. I'm sure there's exceptions to the rule, but 224 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: I think you and I, like we are both with 225 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: toddler boys and it is fucking full on. I'm just 226 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 1: trying to little baby girls and they come over a 227 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: lot in this play room that we're currently sitting in, 228 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: and the girls will and I want to do a 229 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: podcast about this, but there are just gender things at 230 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: this age, you know, where little girls can sit with 231 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: one toy for a minute, and like my son is 232 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: flinging ship like nobody's business, Like it's unbelievable, and just 233 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: like always in a new area of the house, like 234 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: running around all over the place. It's yeah, we just 235 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: took him to Mexico this past week. I mean, it 236 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: was honestly your whole life. I had nanny's that we 237 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: that helped us out so we could get out to 238 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: go to dinner and see, that's so I want to 239 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: talk to you about that, Like maternal So there are 240 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: maternal women, you would say, who would even be like 241 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: nervous about leaving their child with the hotel name. My 242 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: mother would be like, we can't leave the baby with somebody. 243 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 1: Just my mom said, so you don't have that, No, 244 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: I'm completely cool with it. I'm like, yeah, I just have. 245 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: I'm not really scared of that stuff. Like I'm the 246 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 1: kind of person that doesn't like forget, doesn't set the 247 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: alarm in our house even though we need to. Like 248 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: I'm I'm it's not good. My mom is very scared 249 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: by how trusting I can be, and same with my sisters. 250 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,559 Speaker 1: But she was like, so I understand you. You're maybe 251 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: going to get some help while you're in understand Mexico, 252 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: but like, are you going to have a nanny around 253 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: the pool too, or is it just going to be 254 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: you guys watching him around the pool. And I was like, 255 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,959 Speaker 1: first of all, i didn't even really think about that. 256 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 1: And secondly like maybe like she she can probably swim, 257 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: and you know, like it's just I am very very trusting, 258 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: and I think that because I'm that way, Sonny is 259 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: able to just like be with anyone at all times. 260 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 1: How great is that? It's very freeing for me. Is 261 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: your husband you're married? Yes? Is your husband super maternal, 262 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 1: cuddly vertaker Larry, um, mama bear? Have you very much? 263 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: So so he might outweigh a little bit of your Yes. 264 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: He takes like he can be with Sunny for like 265 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: ten hours straight and not complain about it, or I'll 266 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: be like, I have worked tomorrow. You know, we don't 267 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: have anybody to look after Sunny. Are you going to 268 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: be okay? He's like, yeah, of course. I'm like, oh god, 269 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: if I like if I just I know this sounds awful, 270 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 1: but I just can't be with him, like I just 271 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: learned this. I think I've talked about it. We just 272 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: did an episode on the podcast with Entrepreneurial Moms, which 273 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: you are one of you talked to you about your business, um, 274 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 1: one of your many businesses. You do a lot of 275 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: different things, but it was a whole podcast about moms 276 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: who um started businesses when they got pregnant with small 277 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: babies that were super successful, and I was talking to 278 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 1: them about I just learned, Like I said, my nanny 279 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: was sick for five days. I was a stay at 280 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: home mom for five days. I can't my entire life. 281 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 1: It was misery. I mean, oh god, it's so dramatic. 282 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: There's really going on in the world that of someone's 283 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 1: very small, limited perspective, But um, I just mean, like, 284 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: it's the hardest job in the world. I've never looked 285 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: so tired. I've never felt so tired. And what I 286 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: said to my husband after those five days, I was like, 287 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: are we have to make enough money as a living 288 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: to be able to always have someone helping with our kid? 289 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: Because I get so much out of my life from 290 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: walking and I'm such a better mom when I when 291 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 1: i'm his mom. That's the big thing is that I 292 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 1: feel I feel guilty about complaining, but it's like I can't, 293 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: I can't deny that. This is how I feel like. 294 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: We cannot shut that out. And it's also okay to 295 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: want to do both things and maybe even one a 296 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 1: little bit more than the other. Doesn't mean you love 297 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: your kid any less. You love your kidlets like less 298 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 1: than your work, but like you just have to figure 299 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: out a way where you can feel equally filled. But 300 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: I completely agree, Um, did you ever have a moment 301 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 1: where like a mama bear has any sort of mama bear? 302 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: I know you're not the most maternal person, which I 303 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: love and I think is a very valuable perspective to 304 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 1: listen to on this podcast, because I think I have 305 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: a lot of mom friends that are similar like I'm 306 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: I kiss my son weight like it is too much 307 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 1: like it I'm smothering. It's that. And then I have 308 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 1: girls that are just like, that's not the language with 309 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 1: which they communicate with their son and it's beautiful and 310 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 1: valid and wonderful. Um, and they had no they just 311 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: weren't a maternal instinct. Is not something I would ever 312 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 1: describe them in the dictionary. But you can still be 313 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: a mom and totally give me an amazing mom It's 314 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: just not in my nature. I mean, and I smother 315 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: him too, but it's there's so many different like, there's 316 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 1: so many different layers of being maternal totally, and I 317 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 1: think that there's like you do you think, Um, I 318 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 1: think that I just always want to like just set 319 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 1: him up for success, like I always want him to 320 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: be Here's how you show it, how you said you 321 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: already kind of said, You're like he always has to 322 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 1: be fed. He has to have the right clothing on 323 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: for the for the weather. That's important to you. Totally. 324 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 1: He's never hungry. He needs to have like this weater 325 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 1: on right, like like I need him to have a 326 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 1: certain amount of like activity like one on one time 327 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 1: with me, activity outside, Like I'm always thinking about his 328 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: day and that it is full and how he can 329 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: be happiest. What makes him happiest? Yeah, um, can you 330 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: tell me about what I think already asked this, but again, 331 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: like have you ever had like a mama bearancing where 332 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: you just we're going to fucking kill someone? Because the 333 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,120 Speaker 1: first time that came out and me, I was shocked 334 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:53,159 Speaker 1: because of something that they did to see it or like, um, 335 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: for me, it was the first time. Um again, I 336 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: didn't really feel very I it took me a long 337 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: time to feel connected to my son. And I think 338 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 1: similarly in your case, I had a lot of trouble 339 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: breastfeeding for a long time. I was so painful, um, 340 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 1: and I was crying a lot, and I didn't know why. 341 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 1: And I'm a generally happy, like last half full person, 342 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: and I was not waking up on that side of 343 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,959 Speaker 1: the bed and so it felt very much not like 344 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: myself for a long time. But I can remember when 345 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:24,120 Speaker 1: I went back to work and I watched my nanny, 346 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: who is like my fucking soul mate through this fire 347 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: that through right now and I love so much. But 348 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: the first time and I've told you this so I'm 349 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: not talking about you, Miriam, I love you, um, but 350 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: the first time I ever watched him give him a bath, 351 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 1: I thought I was going to like hurt her, Like 352 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: I just was so like, please don't touch my baby. 353 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: He's like, this is not your department, this is mine 354 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: off of him and it was just something primal fucking 355 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 1: cave woman ship that I was just like, WHOA Like 356 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: I never feel I'm never like a violent but I've 357 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: never hit someone. I never been hit like I I'm 358 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: just not a violent person. But I had, like I've 359 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: had it a few times when things were really new 360 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: and people's first my first were being done by somebody 361 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,880 Speaker 1: else where I was working. My husband had it come 362 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: out the first time he ever tried ice cream was 363 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: also and I thought my husband was going to fucking 364 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 1: kill someone because my husband's favorite dessert that goes back 365 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: to his family, like they've had a igh scream every 366 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 1: night with his dad and it's like a major Shapiro tradition. 367 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,440 Speaker 1: And we got a text message from Miriam that was 368 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,679 Speaker 1: a photo of Albi and Central Park having a vanilla 369 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: ice cream cone with Miriam and he never tried ice 370 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: cream before, and I I thought Adam was going to cry. 371 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: He's only cried three times in thirteen years. But he 372 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: was like that was my experience, Like it was crazy 373 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: that I haven't had moments like that. I've had moments 374 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: like because he's at school now and like there's a 375 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 1: little girl that will hit him or people that won't 376 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: share with him, like little kids where I'm like, yeah, 377 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: like I wish that I could just like, you know, 378 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: get your kid in line, Yeah, don't touch my exactly, 379 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: like go discipline like go. But other than that, no, 380 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: I haven't had a moment where I'm like, I mean, 381 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: thank God, Yeah, I mean no, it's definitely coming um 382 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,680 Speaker 1: and maybe it will feel I think we're going to 383 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: be walking through this together. And how crazy and hard 384 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 1: it's going to be. But like the first time your 385 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 1: kid gets his feelings her, I'll die, which is a 386 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: term we should you know is normal and healthy and 387 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: you need to get pushed down in order to learn 388 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,040 Speaker 1: how to get back up, and it's very important. But like, 389 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: how heartbroken? I mean, I'm going to freak olfre you know, 390 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: I know, I know I can't imagine that. I cannot 391 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: seeing him cry because he has his feelings hurt, Like 392 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,159 Speaker 1: right now he only cries because like he doesn't want 393 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: to go his diaper change. You know, it's going to 394 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: be so complex. Do you feel are you a mom 395 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,199 Speaker 1: that I have moms that when their kid cries, they're like, 396 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: it's fine, it's finely toughen up or does it break 397 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 1: your heart? Do you feel? No? I don't. It's honestly, 398 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,200 Speaker 1: when if I feel like he's in pain or something, 399 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: then that breaks my heart. But if he's crying because 400 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 1: he's in a bad mood and he just as being 401 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 1: like a sad, I'm like, it's okay. Like I I've 402 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: tried to teach him this deep breath thing then I 403 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,160 Speaker 1: think comes through down um. But yeah, like he had 404 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 1: temper tantrums yet he not bad. No, not bad. He's 405 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: just like impossible to take anywhere. Like he if they 406 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: go to go to the market with him, he won't 407 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: he doesn't want to sit in the grocery car and 408 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: he like does that like that like strange exactly, like 409 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 1: don't like scream and I'm going to do that when 410 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: they decide they don't want to be in the car 411 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: seat anymore. Yeah. I have those moments with him, but 412 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: nothing where like he's on the floor crying hysterically in public. Great, 413 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 1: my kid has a He just starts hitting his hat 414 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,480 Speaker 1: on the floor. He goes down to my sister used 415 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: to that, going like this and crying, being super dramatic. 416 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 1: It's insane, and I just let him do it, ride 417 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: it out, like yeah, fine by me. Basically, what we're 418 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: talking about is discovering your identity as a mom, you know, 419 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: Like we're talking about all these different sort of things 420 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,159 Speaker 1: that moms either have had for a long time, like 421 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: I've always been a touch of wheely person, or you're 422 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 1: not or you're someone that Mama bear is like a 423 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 1: real thing for you, or you're not. Um. A lot 424 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,239 Speaker 1: of times people talk about being a mom in a 425 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: negative or an uncool way like mom jeans or mom 426 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,920 Speaker 1: hair or like I remember when I was pregnant and I, Um, 427 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,719 Speaker 1: I was so freaked out about getting a shorter haircut, 428 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: even though it's like what I wanted to do, but 429 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 1: I was like so scared about looking like a soccer mom. 430 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,879 Speaker 1: Like I just was like, all of a sudden, it 431 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: became all about the fucking haircut and I was so 432 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: freaked out. Mom is like such a was my favorite 433 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: cut I've ever had, And the whole time I was like, 434 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 1: oh my god, like we're never gonna have sex again. Uh. 435 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 1: Your amazing company, Bundle Organics, which I want to talk about. Um, 436 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,399 Speaker 1: it's a business that's pushing back against this idea. Now 437 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,160 Speaker 1: you're someone in the spotlight who is very beautiful. Thank you, 438 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,719 Speaker 1: and um you have always been a part of like 439 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: fashion and photographs and people are looking to you. Did 440 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: you have any sort of identity or mom shift or 441 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 1: worry that like, oh my god, I'm going to be 442 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,399 Speaker 1: a mom now people aren't going to think I'm sexy 443 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 1: or how I battle that stigma. I definitely thought that. 444 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,639 Speaker 1: I mean I thought once that you once you become 445 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 1: a mom, everyone just only sees you as a mom, 446 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: and that's when I feel like I walked into any 447 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,120 Speaker 1: room it was just like, oh, here's the new mom. 448 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: But that I think goes away if you will take 449 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,879 Speaker 1: that like label off yourself. Like I think that comes 450 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: from within of us saying like, let's change the narrative 451 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: in our own brains and figure out how to see 452 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,639 Speaker 1: ourselves as sexy and cool other things besides mom and that. 453 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: Like I did this thing on my Instagram where it 454 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: was like hashtag what I wore because I was getting 455 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: into this terrible phase where I was literally succumbing to 456 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: my exhaustion and not putting myself together, wearing disgusting sweats 457 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: every day, like even walking out of the house. In 458 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: that I mean, I'm kind of doing it today, so 459 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 1: I shouldn't really say I'm out of it. My like 460 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: my millennial it's like sort of champion shirt with cherries 461 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: on it. It's so cute. Yeah, I saw it from 462 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 1: my younger sister, so, um, so I decided what I wore. Yeah, 463 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 1: so I just said, I was like, I'm giving myself 464 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,879 Speaker 1: thirty days to like each day put myself together because 465 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 1: I love fashion. I really do love putting myself together. 466 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 1: I think it's not a shallow thing. I think it 467 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 1: can be looked at. It's like a way to express 468 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,880 Speaker 1: your personality. And so I did that and I did 469 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 1: feel so much better about myself afterwards, and I like 470 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: reconnected to who I was before I was just a mom, 471 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 1: and I think people saw that from me as well, 472 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 1: and like now I can get ready and I do 473 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 1: feel sexy. I mean there's part of me that's like 474 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: do sometimes I think that people see me in a 475 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 1: different way, Like am I as sexy as I was before? 476 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: And then I'm like, doesn't really even matter? I mean 477 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: I hope not. Yeah, I mean I felt the same way, 478 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 1: like like audition. You know, I'm so fortunate that I've 479 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 1: literally only worked for women bosses for a good eight years. 480 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,879 Speaker 1: So I don't really know, but I hear about this 481 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: other sort of Hollywood where like, yeah, like if you 482 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: were going to be considered for like sexy parts, like 483 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,679 Speaker 1: you better not be a fucking mom or have like 484 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 1: responsibilities like that or But I think that that is 485 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: changing because I think that everybody I don't know, I 486 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 1: think being a mom is like kind of a quote 487 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: like trendy thing now, and I think that was like 488 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,920 Speaker 1: a young, stylish, cool mom is like on trend and 489 00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: you look at these women who would like the Res 490 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 1: Witherspoons or the Kate Hudson's, like, oh my god, they 491 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 1: have like twenty year old children right right, And I 492 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: think there was an example. Great. Yeah, I stopped also 493 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 1: following people that were a lot younger than me because 494 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 1: I felt like that was really detrimental, like good I 495 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 1: was following. I'm sorry. I love Jihadid, I love Bella. 496 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,160 Speaker 1: I think these girls are gorgeous. Kendall Jenner blah blah blah. 497 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 1: I think they're all gorgeous. But I think I was 498 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 1: looking at them being like why, like I want to 499 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,159 Speaker 1: look like them, and it made me feel and I'm like, 500 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:36,439 Speaker 1: but they're also fifteen years younger, so that here on 501 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,719 Speaker 1: their like going on their forties birth This is what 502 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 1: inspires like that, Like, Okay, Busy Phillips was on this 503 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 1: podcast and she is a very good friend and she 504 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: has her forty birthday coming up, and I've known Busy 505 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,399 Speaker 1: for fucking fifteen years. She looks better and hotter and 506 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,919 Speaker 1: sexier than she's ever looked. And I'm talking like in 507 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,159 Speaker 1: shallow ways, but also her brain and her mind like 508 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: life experience. I love following her or I love following 509 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,280 Speaker 1: just these women that are like Addesley Cabral was on this. 510 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 1: She just had her forty birthday. She looks amazing and 511 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,639 Speaker 1: she's a kid. Um, but I find it better. And 512 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: I think social media is fucking huge, was a huge 513 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: in your industry and mine. Um, But to follow these 514 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,880 Speaker 1: women who are like looking better than they've ever looked, 515 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: and they're celebrating their like forty fifty birthdays and they're 516 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: with their kids and they're like in bikinis, and you're like, 517 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: holy shit, like, oh my god, I'm not just going 518 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: to dry up dead somewhere and a totally totally is 519 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 1: your body completely different than what it was before you 520 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 1: had a baby, Like people say, not better or worse, 521 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,439 Speaker 1: but like things are in different places really weird. I 522 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,440 Speaker 1: have found that, Like I used to hate my ass, 523 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 1: and now it's not. It's fine. Now it's my stomach. Yeah, 524 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 1: because you shifted it from one I guess I'm negative 525 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,359 Speaker 1: to another, I guess, but like no, I yeah, I 526 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 1: mean I used to love my boobs. I used to 527 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: think I had great boobs. I think my husband thought 528 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 1: I had great boobs. Now he refuses to tell me 529 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: that they're not that they're not the same, but they 530 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 1: are not the same. You married the right, Yeah, he's like, 531 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 1: I can't tell. I'm like, but there's so much like 532 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 1: they're not as fully three D. Yeah. And then also, 533 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 1: I mean there's like, my belly button really bothers me 534 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,160 Speaker 1: like that. I think it's so shallowed to even say 535 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,200 Speaker 1: that allowed. It's a ridiculous thing. But my belly button 536 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,920 Speaker 1: is like that big and like gross, And I'm just like, 537 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 1: is there anything I can do for that? Yes? There 538 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: is if it ever bothers you that much, it really is. 539 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: But um, and I support women and whatever they want 540 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 1: to do to make themselves feel better always. But I'm 541 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 1: also brought to this story of Busy Phillips because we 542 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: were at a pool party and this was years ago, 543 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: and she was in a bikini, and there was another 544 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,719 Speaker 1: actress there who had also had two babies, and um, 545 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: did not get this sort of stomach skin that some 546 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 1: women get. Um, And Busy was in a bikini, and 547 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 1: I'll remember for the rest of my life she was 548 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: like fucking shredding around. Bless her for being so confident, 549 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 1: using and beautiful. She looked great, but she was like 550 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: in a bikini and she was just like I pushed 551 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 1: sucking two babies out with out drugs. I'm so proud. 552 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 1: And I just was like, I pray. I like that 553 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: you have that confident Like I just I mean, I 554 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: gave up bikinis in high school. But before you, oh 555 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: my god, by Like it's just every year something else goes, 556 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 1: like I'm close to letting go of tank tops altogether. Hate. 557 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: I don't care. I've never been into tank tops, terrible. 558 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 1: Love a sleeve like the rest of your arm looks 559 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 1: super slender. Tell me about bundle organics and how you 560 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: battle or take any of the stuff into consideration. Um, well, 561 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: is actually something that like not only has your identity 562 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: shifted as a mom and you're battling this sort of 563 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,320 Speaker 1: like I'm a mom and I'm hot, and I'm a 564 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 1: business owner and I work with businesses and I'm also 565 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 1: going home to my kid and I'm a working mom. 566 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 1: Yeah now you're actually working with like mom products, right, Yeah, 567 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: I mean that's also another thing. It's like, oh am, 568 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 1: I just now like a mommy blogger and I'm like, no, 569 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: I shouldn't think of it that way. Like I'm just 570 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: talking about what's actually going on in my life, so 571 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,400 Speaker 1: it doesn't really serve me to put myself in like 572 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:41,440 Speaker 1: a box. But Bundle was born out of just a 573 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: need to fulfill women on like a nutritional level, because 574 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 1: our lives are so insane and sometimes the last thing 575 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: that we're thinking about is what we're putting in our body, 576 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,479 Speaker 1: when really what we're putting in our body is like 577 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 1: one of the most things, because we're fueling ourselves for 578 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 1: the energy that we need to deal with all this craziness. 579 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 1: So Bundle started as a pasteurized juice and tea company, 580 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 1: because when you're pregnant, you're not supposed to drink pasteurized. 581 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: So we were like, how can we, like, let's create 582 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: something that's pasteurized, but it's still is like low and sugar, 583 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 1: has nothing added, like organic everything. I didn't know. So 584 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: we we did that and and then we got acchoired. 585 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: We were in Target. We got acquired by a larger 586 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: company that's based in Boulder that is really devoted to 587 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: providing clean products for the home. They do snacks, they 588 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 1: do cleaning products, and so they acquired Bundle and created 589 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: this whole line like twenty four products of snacks, and 590 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,959 Speaker 1: teas and bars and bites, um and like smoothie powders 591 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: and like fizzy drink mix, all with like organic amazing 592 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: ingredients for each specific phase of like pregnancy that you're in, 593 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: so like the first phases fertility. So we give you, 594 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 1: like let's say you're really nauseous, like the ginger bump, 595 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: start tea. That's like acid in it too, like it 596 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 1: has things that your prenatal vitamins would have in it. Um. 597 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 1: So yeah, so that's bundle. It's there's tea, So teas. 598 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 1: Juices are right now they were being really expensive to produce, 599 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 1: so we're finding new manufactured for those. But there's tease, 600 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 1: there's protein powder for smoothies, fizzy drink mix. It's basically 601 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 1: like an emergency but you just pour in water, ums, 602 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 1: bars and bites. What are the The bites are delicious? 603 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 1: I should have I can't wait. I mean make it. 604 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 1: I'm excited. They're so delicious. I was like so annable 605 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 1: and all about all the flavors. There's like white chocolate, almond, 606 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 1: um ken waksh you really passionate about this sort of 607 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,200 Speaker 1: I'm just such a snacker, Like I just need snacks 608 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 1: in my life at times in order to just survive, 609 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 1: and especially as a mom. And so yeah, I just 610 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 1: feel passionate to be able to provide that for other 611 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 1: people because it's so simple, something so simple you can 612 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: give it to your kid too. It's like sozing, I 613 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 1: can't eat anything in front of a kid without him 614 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: then asking. So if I knew that it was something 615 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 1: that was also safe healthy nutrition, nutrition, because you don't 616 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,080 Speaker 1: want to just give them. I mean, if if Sonny 617 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,440 Speaker 1: was starving and there was a kind barling around, like, 618 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: I'd give him a kind bar but this, you know, Like, Um, 619 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 1: So I started working with Bundle when I was in 620 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: my first trimester, a second trimester of pregnancy. So it's 621 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: been like almost it's been two years now, two amazing. Yeah, 622 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 1: I'm really excited about this. Um. Can you tell me? Um, 623 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,479 Speaker 1: going back to this like mom identity stuff, did you 624 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 1: ever breastfeed in public? No? Yeah? Was it because you're stopped? 625 00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:01,040 Speaker 1: I stopped breastfeeding after a couple of weeks and exclusively pumped, oh, 626 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,520 Speaker 1: because it was too painful for me and the pump 627 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 1: felt better. Um. Granted, the pump was awful because I 628 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 1: got mastitis three times because it doesn't like drain you all. 629 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 1: But um, I never I never breast fed in public 630 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 1: because I just never I stopped breastfeeding. Yeah, I breast 631 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 1: fed in public all the time, and you didn't, and 632 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:25,160 Speaker 1: you felt, Okay, well much thanks to this podcast, because 633 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,839 Speaker 1: I was really weirded out by the whole thing, which 634 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: I wish I wasn't. But I'm being completely honest with 635 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,799 Speaker 1: you because it's so not weird, not you know, like 636 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: it's so I also imagined we were so no it's amazing, 637 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,200 Speaker 1: and I wish we lived in a country where it 638 00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 1: was so accepted. I I have images of like French 639 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: women just fucking tied out everywhere. But like I I 640 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,840 Speaker 1: also just felt, you know, when I go out in public, 641 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 1: people talk about me in point anyway because they're Scandal fans. 642 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: So I just felt like it was like just an 643 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 1: extra layer of like, Okay, now, Scandal fans are going 644 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 1: to see that I have a dark color right right now, 645 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:07,160 Speaker 1: and I just like, I don't know what I'm doing. 646 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 1: But then Kristen Bell came on the podcast and was like, 647 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: so fucking I am a woman hearing me were like, 648 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,880 Speaker 1: she just breastfed fucking everywhere. Zero ships, and I was like, 649 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 1: good for you. It was the inspired She's a good 650 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 1: one for you to follow to. Okay, she's amazing, amazing mom, 651 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,319 Speaker 1: she have two kids, are one kid to um but 652 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:32,239 Speaker 1: very inspiring. But that really helped me. Yeah, it's it 653 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 1: is really inspiring to see other people that you admire. 654 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,759 Speaker 1: Two things like, it's not just like it's it's not 655 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: just because we feel insecure and we only will do 656 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 1: what other people are doing. But it's just what gives 657 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: me that like that extra push to do it. Have 658 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,399 Speaker 1: you found yourself being more assertive since you're now a mom? 659 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 1: Has it changed you in your work? Yeah? I just 660 00:35:55,480 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 1: have more I have less patience with little things. I'm like, 661 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 1: i feel like I'm shorter on email. I'm like, let's 662 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,080 Speaker 1: just get to the point or let's just get this done. Yeah, 663 00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,080 Speaker 1: it's amazing. Should be a lot of things into perspective. 664 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to go back and forth a million times. 665 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,760 Speaker 1: I want to just be like, this is my worth 666 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:19,879 Speaker 1: and if you that's not that great, no, fine, if not, 667 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 1: because I my time is like deprecious. Yeah, yeah that 668 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,399 Speaker 1: is very true and I feel the same way. Can 669 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 1: you talk about a specific time when you felt like 670 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,400 Speaker 1: you were changing as a woman, may be standing up 671 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 1: for yourself for speaking out in a way that you 672 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,920 Speaker 1: wouldn't have before becoming a mom. Maybe it's maybe this 673 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: sort of situation where like someone asks something of you 674 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 1: which I actually was going to bring up. And I 675 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: don't know if you felt like this. I'm getting the 676 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,480 Speaker 1: vibe that you were before being a mom. Would you 677 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 1: have sent emails and something that like a lot more 678 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 1: people please go back and forth, always like giving reasons 679 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 1: for everything. This is me too. Yeah, So I was 680 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,719 Speaker 1: very much like that, and I just wanted to like 681 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,879 Speaker 1: always do a good job, and I cared so much 682 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,520 Speaker 1: about what other people thought of me, and I just 683 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 1: wanted to be known as like the nice, agreeable person. 684 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,359 Speaker 1: And I really ran into this after Sunny when we 685 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: started filming The Hills again and they wanted me to 686 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:23,120 Speaker 1: hold production. Wanted me to hold um Tuesday through Saturday 687 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 1: every week, just completely hold it, not book anything for 688 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:31,240 Speaker 1: three months, five days and without any like I wouldn't 689 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 1: know until the night before what my schedule was. And 690 00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:39,400 Speaker 1: I was like, I I want to be able to 691 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: do this for you guys, because you're paying me and 692 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 1: I'm a part of the show, but like I can't. 693 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: I just can't be that flexible. And so I really 694 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,320 Speaker 1: started to push back with that, and then I felt 695 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,360 Speaker 1: like I was being difficult, like I was this difficult 696 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 1: brat and that with that is hard for me to 697 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 1: to like think yeah, I and not know if they're valid, 698 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: you know, like is that too much to ask to 699 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 1: know your schedule? No? I mean it's like how far 700 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,799 Speaker 1: in advance should I is realistic for me to get that? 701 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,279 Speaker 1: You know? I just those are those are things now 702 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 1: that I'm like that I struggle with. And you put 703 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,879 Speaker 1: your foot down and you are exploring more about being 704 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:27,319 Speaker 1: exploring and you're exploring I mean the exploratory phases like 705 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,040 Speaker 1: and I think it would be harder for me, Like 706 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:34,440 Speaker 1: again because I've worked for women for eight years. Um, 707 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,400 Speaker 1: you know, they came to me and here's your trailer 708 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,920 Speaker 1: for your son, and I was like, I get that, 709 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 1: here's the Shondalan kids playroom. I get that, Like I wouldn't. 710 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,880 Speaker 1: I think I would have been pressured and pushed to 711 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,360 Speaker 1: have to stand up for myself more and for my 712 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 1: son for my new role as well, more than I've 713 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:57,239 Speaker 1: had to. UM, but it's important that you do those 714 00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:01,160 Speaker 1: things because those producers the time they're working with the mom, 715 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: hopefully they're going to think and say, oh, ship, like 716 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 1: we might have to work a little bit harder to 717 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 1: get her schedule in advance, do you know what I mean? 718 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 1: Like you have to make those moves and you have 719 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,480 Speaker 1: to make those waves even though it might not sit 720 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: right with you that someone's going to think you're more 721 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: difficult than you used to be or time is different, 722 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:22,080 Speaker 1: but you know, we have to think about those little 723 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 1: fifteen those girls that are fifteen years Yeah, exactly what 724 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 1: they're going to be doing. Their candle is going to 725 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:33,480 Speaker 1: be fine. They're gonna be fine. So on this, on 726 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,839 Speaker 1: this same sort of theme that you're providing so many 727 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,000 Speaker 1: great resources for moms out there. Are there any resources, 728 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:43,759 Speaker 1: um that you use? Are their apps? Um? Books that 729 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 1: you like? One thing a TV show, something that really 730 00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:51,040 Speaker 1: helped you with your identity or or helped you with 731 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: your son or so I I didn't really read anything 732 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:59,719 Speaker 1: very much. UM. The one thing, the one person that 733 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,799 Speaker 1: I think has been the biggest savior for me is 734 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:06,480 Speaker 1: this sleep consultant. Her name is a Lana m Again, 735 00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,600 Speaker 1: and she runs a good Night's Sleep site And I 736 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: started working with it. She reached out to me just 737 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,960 Speaker 1: via social media when I was starting to wonder when 738 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 1: I should be sleep training and figuring out schedules, and 739 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 1: so I started working with her. And I have listened 740 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 1: to everything she's told me to do, and I have 741 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:31,400 Speaker 1: like a magical sleeper. Yeah, and it's huge. It was 742 00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,080 Speaker 1: like everything for me. Um. I felt like I could 743 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,920 Speaker 1: figure out everything else, but sleep is such a science 744 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,840 Speaker 1: and I need it, like I really need it, and 745 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 1: so I needed to figure it out. Um. And that 746 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:47,399 Speaker 1: that has been really instrumental for me. Yeah. Other than that, 747 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,400 Speaker 1: like I have also my mom used to be toldler 748 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 1: transition teacher at a temple bishop of our temple, and 749 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,640 Speaker 1: so it's like the phase before nursery school. They go 750 00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,880 Speaker 1: to a class for six months like a toad mommy, 751 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 1: and exactly exactly, so she taught that and she has 752 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,400 Speaker 1: she taught out with this partner. Her name is ZeVA, 753 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 1: who's a child development specialist. And I meet with her 754 00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 1: also like every couple of months since she takes a 755 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 1: look at sunny and she just like reassures me of 756 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,239 Speaker 1: certain things or gives me tips of other things that so, 757 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:25,120 Speaker 1: like I've enlisted a certain like a set of experts 758 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,399 Speaker 1: to help me instead of just like listening to all 759 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: the noise and social media village, are actually people that 760 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,319 Speaker 1: know what they're talking about. Yeah, like people that I have, 761 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:42,799 Speaker 1: Like that's why. Yeah, yeah, Like I have people like 762 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 1: that wrote the books that I'm interested in helping me 763 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 1: raised my son. Last, but not least, do you have 764 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: any advice for women who may be struggling with their 765 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,520 Speaker 1: identities as new moms, or any advice in general? I 766 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,839 Speaker 1: think the best advice that I was getting when I 767 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 1: was having like issues with the breastfeeding and wondering if 768 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:08,279 Speaker 1: my life will ever be enjoyable or like if I'll 769 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: ever read them again, was that everything is really just 770 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: a phase, and I sometimes the phases are longer than others, 771 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: so like, don't expect for them to go away overnight 772 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,920 Speaker 1: or or some phases one phase one and then a 773 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,000 Speaker 1: worse one will come, like, but just know that everything 774 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 1: is a phase, and that in my opinion, for me, 775 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:34,239 Speaker 1: it has gotten easier the older they've become, the more 776 00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:38,280 Speaker 1: independent and self reliant they are. And I think also 777 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:44,760 Speaker 1: accepting help. I think whether it's paying for help, dropping 778 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:48,040 Speaker 1: them off at daycare, asking for help, from your family. 779 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 1: I think that's so important that we have like solo time, 780 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 1: whether we're working moms or not. Like, I just don't 781 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:59,160 Speaker 1: think it's healthy. I don't think attachment parenting is healthy 782 00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 1: for anybody in the family. Yeah, Whitney Port, it is 783 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,759 Speaker 1: so nice to meet you face to face in the less. 784 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,439 Speaker 1: I cannot wait for The Hills to be back on TV. 785 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, the Hills New beginning. Excuse me, the 786 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,799 Speaker 1: Hills begin It's ridiculous. I cannot wait to think. I 787 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:24,919 Speaker 1: can't wait to crush bundle yea, yeah, because you don't 788 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,839 Speaker 1: have to be pregnant or breastfeeding. They're they're good no 789 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,840 Speaker 1: matter what. I just where do you find them online? 790 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:35,680 Speaker 1: So yeah, they're they're bye bye baby online Target and 791 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,080 Speaker 1: Thrive Market right now, Good on you, Thank you, thanks 792 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:41,520 Speaker 1: so much for being on the show. Thank you for 793 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:46,080 Speaker 1: having me. Thank you so much for listening to Katie's crib. 794 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,680 Speaker 1: You guys, this is it. This is our last episode 795 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:52,720 Speaker 1: of the season. Isn't that crazy? But do not worry. Okay, 796 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,120 Speaker 1: We're going to be back in a little while with 797 00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,600 Speaker 1: more episodes, because come on, you know it. Honestly, there's 798 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,520 Speaker 1: so much more to explore, to talk about and to share. 799 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,600 Speaker 1: Make sure you're subscribed to Katie's Crib and check us 800 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,800 Speaker 1: out on shaundalin dot com to catch up on every episode. 801 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,719 Speaker 1: Oh and follow Katie's Crib on Twitter and Instagram so 802 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:13,200 Speaker 1: you're the first to know about season three. Thank you 803 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,920 Speaker 1: to all of our amazing and brilliant guests this season. 804 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,319 Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for coming on the show 805 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,240 Speaker 1: and for sharing all of your personal stories and experiences. 806 00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:25,400 Speaker 1: And thank you. Thank you listeners. Thank you, thank you, 807 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 1: thank you for listening, for subscribing, for sharing Katie's Crib 808 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:31,920 Speaker 1: with your friends and family. It means so much to me. 809 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,680 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you. You guys are the best.