1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: As we celebrate Valentine's Day, I wanted to refresh a 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: popular backstory episode from a year ago, and I've added 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: a whole lot of new info and some interesting sidebars. 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: All right, big si here. Romance sounds really great, right, 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: It's got all of the upside of love and sex 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: and none of the downside. But there was a time 7 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: when Valentine's Day was celebrated really differently. Imagine a guy 8 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: you may or may not partner with, wanting to increase 9 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,479 Speaker 1: your fertility, so he sacrifices an animal and then slaps 10 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: you over and over again with a bloody hide, and 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: you kind of like it. He does the same to 12 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: others as well. I'm Patty Steele. How Valentine's Day has evolved. 13 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: That's next on the backstory. We're back with the backstory. 14 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: We all want a little romance in our lives, but 15 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: it has meant different things to different people at different times. 16 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: It played out really differently depending on when you lived 17 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: these days. A lot of us give romance the side eye, 18 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: but secretly, who knows what's in our hearts. Here's the thing. 19 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: Attachment is ancient. In fact, apes were the first to 20 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: evolve the ability to become emotionally attached to one another 21 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: as humans appeared on the scene. We maintain those attachments, 22 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: mostly because it helped us and the apes survive. Everybody 23 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: needs a team, right, it takes a village. Later, through 24 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: thousands of years and right up until the seventeen hundred's, 25 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: marriage became a thing, but it was totally about business. 26 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: Romance wasn't even a consideration now. The early celebration of 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: a holiday like Valentine's Day beganning Roman times in the 28 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: sixth century BC with a very unromantic and very bloody 29 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: pagan fertility festival. Maybe it was fun, I don't know. 30 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: Every year between February thirteenth and fifteenth, Romans celebrated Lupercalia 31 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: by sacrificing animals and then running naked through the streets 32 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: slapping women with the bloody hides of those animals, which 33 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: they believed made the women more fertile, and women went 34 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: right along with it gladly. Later in those same festivities, 35 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: women would be paired off with men by lottery talk 36 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: about romance. In addition to the big fertility festivals centered 37 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: around February fourteenth, the day is celebrated because it was 38 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: believed that February fourteenth was the day most birds returned 39 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 1: for spring and picked their mates. And there's Saint Valentine himself, 40 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: born in Rome in two twenty six. He was an 41 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: early Christian and bought himself some trouble with the Roman 42 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: Empire for ministering to other Christians, a no no under 43 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: Roman law. He was tossed in jail, but continued his 44 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:44,679 Speaker 1: outreach and allegedly healed his jailer's daughter, Julia, of her blindness. 45 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,399 Speaker 1: There's also word that he performed weddings for Christian soldiers 46 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,959 Speaker 1: who were forbidden to marry. That was another no note. 47 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: Legends say Saint Valentine would cut pieces of parchment into 48 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 1: a heart shape to remind these men of their vows 49 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: and God's love. He gave them to those soldiers and 50 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: persecuted Christians. There are even stories that say Saint Valentine 51 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: himself wrote the very first Valentine. It was a letter 52 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: to Julia that now healed Jowler's daughter, saying farewell to 53 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 1: her before his execution, which he signed from your Valentine. 54 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: Sounds a little sketchy to me, but he was beheaded 55 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: the next day. He was executed, in fact on February fourteenth, 56 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: two sixty nine, but obviously not forgotten. In fact, in 57 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: keeping with how attached Italian Catholics are to their saints, 58 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: Saint Valentine's skull, crowned with flowers, is on display in 59 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmodine, and that's in Rome. 60 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: Other relics of him are in Whitefriars Street, Carmelite Church 61 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: in Dublin, Ireland, a really popular place to go on 62 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: Valentine's Day if you're looking for love. In fact, there's 63 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: even a book there in which you can write about 64 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: your desire for romance. So when did romance enter the scene? 65 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: Got to go back to relationships For thousands of years 66 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: In most societies, men dealt with them money, getting the food, 67 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: overall decision making. Women figured out how to make the 68 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: money work. They took care of the home and children 69 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: and social obligations. Romance, yeah, not so much. If you 70 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: had money. Marriage was about inheritance, land, politics, business. Children 71 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: and wealthy people often found romance, but it was pretty 72 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,599 Speaker 1: much always outside of marriage and mostly just for men, 73 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: since women had to worry about pregnancy. If you didn't 74 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: have money, it was about getting the best deal possible 75 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: from your intended everything from a little bit of money, 76 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: land or at least access to it, and somebody'd have 77 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: children with You'd put together whatever kind of home you 78 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: could manage and run it with traditional responsibilities, divvied up 79 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: in the traditional way. Not very romantic, but extremely practical. 80 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. People entering a marriage didn't really 81 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: expect anything different unless you were Romeo and Juliet, who 82 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: treasured love beyond family. And we all know how that 83 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: ended for them, which was kind of the point of 84 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: that story. Thank you will shakes. And there were other exceptions. 85 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,160 Speaker 1: In fact, in fourteen fifteen, the Duke of Orleans wrote 86 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: what's more traditionally called the very First Valentine. It was 87 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: a poem the twenty one year old duke sent to 88 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,919 Speaker 1: his wife from prison locked up in the Tower of 89 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: London after being captured in a battle with the British. 90 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: He wrote, I am already sick with love, my very 91 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: gentle Valentine. Unfortunately, he was locked up for another twenty 92 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: five years and his wife died five years before he 93 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 1: was released. But by the seventeen hundreds, romantic feelings finally 94 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: started to be taken into account. For most people. When 95 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: it came to marriage, still there wasn't much in the 96 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: way of dating. It was referred to as courting, and 97 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: the intention was very different. The goal of courtship was 98 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 1: always marriage, so family really involved in the decision. It 99 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,280 Speaker 1: just a courting gave both the man and the woman 100 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: the opportunity to see if there were feelings. In fact, 101 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 1: in some cases, young couples were allowed to go to 102 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: bed together, but they were fully dressed and they had 103 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: a thing called a bundling board between him. It was 104 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: actually a big board that kept them from touching but 105 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 1: allowed them to lie together in the dark and talk. 106 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,280 Speaker 1: They also had bundling sacks that were basically sleeping bags 107 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: for two, but they were sewn all the way up 108 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: the middle, again no touching. If the couple decided there 109 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: were feelings and the man made a commitment, he had 110 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: a really, really tough time getting out of it if 111 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: he changed his mind, unless the woman released him from 112 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: his obligation. It was called breach of promise if you 113 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: weren't officially released. But still, feelings became more important, and 114 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,839 Speaker 1: that's when Valentine's Day became a thing. Love letters and 115 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: gifts were away to win somebody's heart. The Irish poet 116 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: and playwright Oscar Wilde wrote this in a love letter 117 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: to his wife a few months after they were married, 118 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: telling her the distance keeps our lips from kissing, but 119 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: indeed your bodily presence here would not make you more real. 120 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: For I feel your fingers in my hair, your cheek 121 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: against mine. The air is full of the music of 122 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: your voice. We are mingled as one in exquisite ecstasy, 123 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,479 Speaker 1: now in fairness. Just a few years later he sent 124 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: equally beautiful words to his male lover. Clearly the man 125 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: knew how to write a Valentine. The absolute peak of 126 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: the romantic approach to Valentine's Day began in the late 127 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: seventeen hundreds, when people started to construct elaborate puzzle Valentines 128 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: with folded paper, which, when each section was unfolded, revealed 129 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: more about the sender's feelings. Then came the eighteen hundreds, when, 130 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: in an effort to outdo competitors, guys began to really 131 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: slather on the romance. Valentine's cards reached their peak in 132 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: the mid eighteen hundreds, since the mail service was finally 133 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: reliable and there was really no other way to reach out. 134 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: Incredibly artistic Valentines showed up decorated with everything from peacock 135 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: feathers to lace to jewels, accompanied by very mushy but 136 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: beautiful poetry or prose. Sometimes they quote their favorite romantic poet, 137 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: like Elizabeth Barrett. She published her love poems to her 138 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: future husband Robert Brown. The first line of her Sonnets 139 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: from the Portuguese read how do I love THEE? Let 140 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: me count the ways I love THEE? To the depth 141 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: and breadth and height my soul can reach. Wow, oh mantic? 142 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: So how else might you celebrate in those days? While 143 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: Victorian started the tradition of giving flowers, especially red roses, 144 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day, still very popular today, they gave jewelry, 145 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 1: which has never gone out of fashion. And you might 146 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: also swoon over a box of chocolates. In a smart 147 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: business move, Richard Cadbury of Cadbury Chocolate created the first 148 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: heart shaped box of chocolates in eighteen sixty one, trying 149 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: to drive up sales for the family business, and boy 150 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: did it work. Now thirty six million heart shaped boxes 151 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: of chocolate are sold every year. By the way, it 152 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: wasn't all flowers and chocolates. During the Victorian era, if 153 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: you didn't appreciate the attention of an admirer, you could 154 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: send a vinegar valentine, also called penny dreadfuls. They were 155 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 1: meant to put a stop to unwanted attention. By the 156 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: time Hollywood got involved in romance, they sold us on 157 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: the idea of romantic forever love and don't you love 158 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: the happy ending, the happily ever after storyline? Question? Is 159 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: is it realistic? These days? We still celebrate Valentine's Day, 160 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: but we've begun to lay off the mushy part of it. 161 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: Did you know that today teachers get more Valentines than 162 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: any other group, followed by kids, moms, then wives, and 163 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: of course our fur babies. Some even celebrate Gallentine's Day, 164 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: usually February thirteenth, a time to celebrate your best female friends, 165 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 1: who was created by the writers of the TV show 166 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: Parks and rec And not to be outdone, there's Malantine 167 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: Day for guys on February twelfth, where it is it 168 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: involves stuff like paintballing, axe throwing, and beer, again, all 169 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: about celebrating your pals. In fact, backing that up is 170 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: the Greek philosopher Plato, who said the highest form of 171 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: love was actually our non sexual, non romantic attachment to 172 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: another person. That's so called brotherly love, which we call 173 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: platonic love, named after of course, Plato. He believed that passion, romance, 174 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: and sex make us do stupid stuff here here, and 175 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: that love between family members or close friends is the 176 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: perfect attachment. Hard to argue with that, right. The thing is, 177 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, we're all looking to 178 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 1: feel something, right, that adrenaline rush, that little flutter and 179 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: warmth when you see someone you're attracted to and when 180 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: they lock eyes with you. Romance does that for us. 181 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: So Happy Valentine's Day, whatever that means to you. Hope 182 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: you're enjoying The Backstory with Patty Steele. Follow or subscribe 183 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: for free to get new episodes delivered automatically, and feel 184 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: free to DM me if you have a story you'd 185 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: like me to cover. On Facebook, It's Patty Steele and 186 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: on Instagram Real Patty Steele. I'm Patty Steele. The Backstory 187 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia, Premieer Networks, the Elvis Durand Group, 188 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 1: and Steel Trap Perdus. Our producer is Doug Fraser. Our 189 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: writer Jake Kushner. We have new episodes every Tuesday and Friday. 190 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: Feel free to reach out to me with comments and 191 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: even story suggestions on Instagram at real Patty Steele and 192 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: on Facebook at Patty Steele. Thanks for listening to the 193 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 1: Backstory with Patty Steele, the pieces of history you didn't 194 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: know you needed to know.