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Speaker 1: The Bread Show is on. It's stay or go. Hi, Eric,

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Speaker 1: Good morning, Eric. How you doing welcome?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how's it going y'all?

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Speaker 1: Hey man? Yeah, what's going on? Oh he's ready to go,

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Speaker 1: He's getting right to it. What's going on with your girlfriend? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So basically, I'm just I'm calling for some advice. So

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Speaker 3: I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a

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Speaker 3: year now, and we recently just moved in together, and

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Speaker 3: I love having her around all the time. But the

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Speaker 3: real problem is that she's super messy, like messier than

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Speaker 3: I ever thought possible.

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Speaker 2: She like she leaves dirty.

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Speaker 3: Dishes everywhere she finds. I like, find food in her

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Speaker 3: bed because she eats it it, And then she forgets

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Speaker 3: and then she starts her laundry and leaves the clothes

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Speaker 3: in the washir to the point where they are stinky.

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Speaker 3: And then you know, she leaves clothes that are dry

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Speaker 3: in the machine that.

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Speaker 2: Need to be fooled it out for weeks. It's just ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: And like every time I try to talk to her

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Speaker 3: about it, she says she's going to get better, but

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Speaker 3: then she does it for like a day, then goes

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Speaker 3: back to being messy.

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Speaker 1: So this is not something that you knew in the

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Speaker 1: year that you've dated her, Like you never noticed these

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Speaker 1: things when she would stay your house or when you'd

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Speaker 1: go to hers. You never noticed that she'd Because I

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Speaker 1: don't know if this this is not something that people

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Speaker 1: just pick up, like she didn't move into your house

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Speaker 1: or you moving together and then she just decided to

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Speaker 1: be dirty or messy or whatever else, you know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like this is something that people have done

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Speaker 1: their whole lives.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think it wasn't like as obvious to me.

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Speaker 3: Usually she would she wouldn't cook that much, and she

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Speaker 3: would get takeout and stuff like that when I would

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Speaker 3: go over to her place and she came over to

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Speaker 3: mind more often, so I didn't see her in her

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Speaker 3: in all men as well.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 1: Plus it's easier to conceal when people, you know, when

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Speaker 1: people are on top of it, you're trying to make

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Speaker 1: an impression.

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Speaker 3: So I think she was better and now that we're

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Speaker 3: in it together cumpability.

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Speaker 1: So you've gone to her and been like, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: I need you to at the very least change your clothes,

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Speaker 1: you know, from the washer to the dryer so it

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Speaker 1: doesn't get whatever that moldies. Yeah, right, whenever they'll do

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Speaker 1: whatever that is, I need you to like it at

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Speaker 1: the very least, you know, can you fold the clothes

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Speaker 1: or get them out of there? Can you kind of

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Speaker 1: pick up after you like you've expressed, because I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you're a perfectionist or you're like, you know, extremely

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Speaker 1: tidy or clean, you may not get another person to

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Speaker 1: come to that level. Like me, I tend to like

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Speaker 1: things the way I like them, and I've had to

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Speaker 1: accept the fact that people are not as particular about

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Speaker 1: things as I am, and I would have to sort

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Speaker 1: of come to the middle on that a little bit.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that I have to necessarily settle for

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Speaker 1: people who are inconsiderate or who don't respect the fact

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Speaker 1: that we're sharing space. Right, So I assume you've said

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Speaker 1: something and what it's her response?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I compromise. I went to the middle.

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Speaker 3: Like initially, I did take a step back and say, like,

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Speaker 3: things don't need to be perfect, and I know that

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Speaker 3: you're you and on me, but even on the stuff

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Speaker 3: that I mean basics like just my pet peeves, dirty

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Speaker 3: dishes in the sank, moldy laundry, or just like and

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Speaker 3: food in the bed is really gross to me, especially because.

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Speaker 2: It's sharing the bed, you know, with her. I don't

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Speaker 2: think this is too much you ask.

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Speaker 1: It's not like he's saying everything has to be ironed

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Speaker 1: and hung, color coded and crazy people stuff like you

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Speaker 1: know he's asking for.

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Speaker 2: I don't want you to eat in the bed.

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Speaker 1: I want you to pick up your stuff, and I

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Speaker 1: want you to you know, spaces that we have to share,

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Speaker 1: like I need you to sort of handle your business

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Speaker 1: in those area. I don't think these guys asking for

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Speaker 1: too much. But the thing is she may not She

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Speaker 1: may never do those things. She may be very comfortable

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Speaker 1: the way she likes to live and eating in bed

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Speaker 1: and things like that. So I feel like you either

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Speaker 1: compromise to a certain extent or maybe this is a

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Speaker 1: way in which you're incompatible.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, it's Ruthie. I have a question for you, Eric.

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Speaker 5: Are you cleaning up after her?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 6: Are you enabling it by like, oh, the dishes are

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Speaker 6: all in there, and then you emptied the sink and

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Speaker 6: you take her clothes out. Are you are you enabling

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Speaker 6: her behavior by cleaning up after her?

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Speaker 3: Well, at the beginning, yeah, I was doing it just

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Speaker 3: to be nice and forgiving and accepting, but then I

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Speaker 3: like to make the point at some point when I

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Speaker 3: after the couple times of asking her, I left it

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Speaker 3: and didn't.

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Speaker 2: Do anything, and then went.

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Speaker 3: Back to her and was like, look at this, like

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Speaker 3: can we just take a look at this right now?

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Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, no, continue, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm just thinking that it's like it's not fair

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Speaker 3: and I needed to have an example to show her.

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Speaker 2: But for the most part, yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Was enabling a little bit, but I'm just tired of it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna talk about you behind your back now, Eric,

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Speaker 1: except you can have the radio on the iHeart app

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for calling.

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Speaker 1: Good luck, Yeah, thank you. Eight five. This is my

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Speaker 1: hot take. This is very controversially ready, this is a

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Speaker 1: deal breaker. This is a deal breaker. Really, this is

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Speaker 1: going to be an issue for the rest of their

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Speaker 1: lives together. This is a person who doesn't who who

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Speaker 1: feels comfort, doesn't emphasize, it's not as concerned with organization

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Speaker 1: and kindliness and and I've dealt with people like this

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Speaker 1: before and we I mean, I think there's compromise to

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Speaker 1: be had, but you're not going to change a person

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Speaker 1: like this fundamentally, You're not going to They're not just

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Speaker 1: going to turn into the organized clean.

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Speaker 7: What I have changed, I've made changes because I've made changes.

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Speaker 5: Yes, so you and my husband Hobby are very similar.

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Speaker 7: Like it's like clean this and that, and I had

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Speaker 7: to respect that this is also his space and his home.

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Speaker 7: So like I've had to make those changes because I

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Speaker 7: can be miss messy little thing.

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Speaker 1: I could miss messy little thing. Oh yeah, miss messy

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Speaker 1: thing that's like a cabbage patch.

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Speaker 2: Do character?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think you can get people to say

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Speaker 1: I think. I think like taking your clothes out of

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Speaker 1: the washer and dryer and folding them is a reasonable

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Speaker 1: thing to ask. I think not eating in bad might

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Speaker 1: be a reasonable thing to ask. I think I don't

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Speaker 1: think leaving dishes in the thing for someone else to

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Speaker 1: clean is It's an unreasonable thing to ask for that

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Speaker 1: not to happen. But now we're asking for three or

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Speaker 1: four things, and I don't know. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: that's sustainable. Nundary is hard, though it is. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's really hard. It's okay, but see here, I'm a

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Speaker 1: guy in all honesty. The clothes that I wash and

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Speaker 1: don't dry clean or whatever and don't hang they sit

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Speaker 1: in my dryer for a long time. I live alone,

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Speaker 1: though no one else is using this equipment, so I

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Speaker 1: think it would be unfair for me to wash my

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Speaker 1: clothes and they need to leave them there. So now

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Speaker 1: when my partner, you know who lives with me, And

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Speaker 1: that's a wild hypothetical, but that person would then go

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Speaker 1: to wash their clothes and then realize not only can

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Speaker 1: they not wash their clothes, now they have to re

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Speaker 1: wash mine, dry them, and fold them in order for

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Speaker 1: them to handle their business.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's fair.

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Speaker 5: It's all the part of love, though, you know.

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Speaker 2: No folding the clothes to the other person. You So

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Speaker 2: now we're just throwing them somewhere.

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Speaker 6: They're gonna go, They're gonna go into the basket, and

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna use the washing machine.

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Speaker 5: Oh I fooled my boyfriend's clothes.

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Speaker 7: Oh no, hold your white launch in my back.

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Speaker 5: I scratch yours.

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Speaker 8: You know I leave my stuff in the dry air,

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Speaker 8: you need to use it, Just take it out. You know,

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Speaker 8: I leave dishes in this thing. Just go ahead and

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Speaker 8: put them in an old dishwasher or something.

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Speaker 2: So you want to made no, no.

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Speaker 8: No, no no, because it's like you would do the

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Speaker 8: same I would do the same for you.

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Speaker 5: You know, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

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Speaker 2: How you scratching? Yeah? Where's his batch? Getting back in

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Speaker 2: the track?

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Speaker 5: I thought, if you cleaned up everything before I can

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Speaker 5: get you.

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Speaker 2: See, now here we go, here a little bit, Here

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Speaker 2: we go, Here we go.

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Speaker 1: And I know it sounds crazy, and I'm I'm as

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Speaker 1: somebody who's like, if the cup is here, I need

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Speaker 1: it here, like I need to let that go. But

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Speaker 1: it also doesn't mean that you don't have to respect

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Speaker 1: shared space. And it doesn't mean that you know that

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Speaker 1: our living room becomes your storage room.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that I have to now, as your partner,

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Speaker 1: I'm expected to do your laundry for you every single time.

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Speaker 1: It's just kind of inconsiderate.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I agree, And I don't think that it's like

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Speaker 7: weird or anything. I think there's just certain types of people, right,

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Speaker 7: there's the friends and there's the Paulinas. Now, the reason

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Speaker 7: I say that too is because the resentment will grow.

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Speaker 7: So like if you and I were married or dating

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Speaker 7: Fred and I was doing that constantly at home, resentment

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Speaker 7: would start to grow.

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Speaker 5: You'd be really you'd be really sick. With me at

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Speaker 5: one point you'd be a girl.

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Speaker 7: I know you're my girlfriend, but like get it together,

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Speaker 7: and then what we're gonna fight, We're gonna fight, and

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Speaker 7: then we're probably gonna break up. So I don't see

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Speaker 7: it being crazy. I think it could really, you know,

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Speaker 7: destroy a relationship. Unfortunately, and I've said this before. This

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Speaker 7: is why I don't have a problem with people living together.

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Speaker 7: I mean, not the problem. That's not the right way

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Speaker 7: to phrase it.

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Speaker 1: Why I can understand why people live together ahead of time,

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Speaker 1: and I can understand how people can ultimately break up

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Speaker 1: over things like this because this this has learned behavior.

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Speaker 1: This is its deeper psychological behavior. I'm not a physician currently,

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Speaker 1: but I'm just saying these are not things that after

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Speaker 1: twenty thirty forty years you're going to change in people.

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Speaker 1: And it also, in my opinion, indicates a level of

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Speaker 1: insensitivity and a level of inconsiderateness, if that's a word,

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Speaker 1: because I don't think that's too much to ask. If

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Speaker 1: I expect you to fold the toilet paper like a

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Speaker 1: hotel every time I reason, or like you know, I

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Speaker 1: need you to color code your closet or the refrigerator

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Speaker 1: has to be perfectly in order. I mean, these are

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Speaker 1: things that that's my own OCD. These are things that

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Speaker 1: I would need to compromise on. But basic cleanliness, I

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Speaker 1: don't think that's too much to ask. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: certain that you're going to change that in somebody. And

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Speaker 1: I think you're exactly right, fu Lina. I feel like

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Speaker 1: the fights they start there, they do and then they

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Speaker 1: become like you know, your ratchet as ex girlfriend still

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Speaker 1: text and it before long, you know, here we are

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Speaker 1: on more.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Ashley, good morning, good morning. Hey, what do you

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Speaker 2: want to say? There?

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Speaker 1: Go?

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Speaker 5: I think he should go.

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Speaker 9: I agree with you, Fred, basic cleanliness.

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Speaker 5: And once she starts.

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Speaker 3: Having kids, she's just going to make more excuses why

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Speaker 3: she can't do something thing and it's just going.

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Speaker 1: To be worse now And like how many times do

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Speaker 1: you have to do the basic thing for the other

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Speaker 1: person and they don't do it before Now you realize

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Speaker 1: not only are they not going to do it, they

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Speaker 1: expect you to do it now and they're okay with it.

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Speaker 1: Like it's almost like sometimes I wonder when you ask

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Speaker 1: someone to do the same thing over and over again

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Speaker 1: and they don't do it like they're they're doing it

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Speaker 1: on purpose at.

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Speaker 2: A certain point.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, exactly, and there's a line, Yeah, yeah, I agree. Actually,

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Speaker 1: thank you, have a good day, you too, And again

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Speaker 1: like there's a I think there's a line we would

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Speaker 1: all agree, there's a place that's like considerate and and

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Speaker 1: minimum expectation, and then there's you.

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Speaker 5: Know, a laden disrespect.

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Speaker 1: Right then on the other end of it, I think

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Speaker 1: there's a standard that's just ridiculous, Like I don't you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean some of the references I made,

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Speaker 1: like there's a there's an organization in cleanliness, and then

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Speaker 1: there's excessive on both sides. So I think they both

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Speaker 1: got to come to the middle. But he's not talking

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Speaker 1: about stuff that's unreasonable to me. The examples he gave, Hey, Jake.

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Speaker 9: Hey, what's going on? Rufie O, Jason Brown, Klin I'll

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Speaker 9: let you know, Kiky.

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Speaker 2: You look at this guy, Jay? Yeah, you know, everybody's there.

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Speaker 2: Go all right.

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Speaker 9: So here's what I think. I think this is a

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Speaker 9: deeper conversation. There's no immediate red flags. I think you

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Speaker 9: need to stay. However, if this behavior is consistent and

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Speaker 9: after time at the time again it's being brought up,

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Speaker 9: then it's then I mean action speaks to themselves. I

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Speaker 9: think you would have to go if after such brutal

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Speaker 9: honesty conversations, if it's if it's disregarded, if it's ignored,

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Speaker 9: if no actions have been taken, if it's just words,

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Speaker 9: then unfortunately, that's where you got to draw the line,

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Speaker 9: because it does come down to respect, it does come

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Speaker 9: down to those little actions, because it is his space.

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Speaker 9: Although in the adage, this adage just reminds me you

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Speaker 9: never truly know someone until you move in with them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's biblical.

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Speaker 1: That's in classic classic key elastic keys. What is it, Ecclesiastes.

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Speaker 1: It's in that one, Ecclesiastes. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing, right,

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Speaker 1: It's in the Bible. Jake is over here preaching biblically.

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Speaker 1: Hey Jake, thank you man, have a good day.

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Speaker 9: Hey, love all the Tan and keep them coming.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's Ecclesiastes ten sixty four. Yeah, both, Hey, Jesse, how

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Speaker 1: you doing? It's it's either old or new.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Hey, Jesse, what do you want to say?

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Speaker 2: Is there go? Oh, he's got to go.

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Speaker 10: It's uh. I'm dealing with that same thing at home.

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Speaker 10: No boy, I'm not I'm not going anywhere, but it

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Speaker 10: leads the bigger things. And next thing, you know, you

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Speaker 10: have a four bedroom house with four bedrooms full of

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Speaker 10: things and stuff that is just overwhelming.

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Speaker 1: And people are talking Jesse about kids. This is not

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Speaker 1: going to get any better with If you can't clean

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Speaker 1: up after yourself, you're not going to clean after further,

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Speaker 1: you know, additional humans.

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Speaker 10: Well, and that's kind of where I'm at too, because

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Speaker 10: you know, me and my wife just got.

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Speaker 2: Married and congratulations.

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Speaker 10: She keeps saying, don't worry, I'm going to change. But

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Speaker 10: what happened, Well, you know, she took a year off

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Speaker 10: to plan the wedding and nothing changed in that whole

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Speaker 10: year because you know she works too, But now she

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Speaker 10: didn't work that year and there wasn't a change in anything.

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Speaker 10: Nothing's changed. And then so now it leads to, like

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Speaker 10: you just said, kids and what's going to change. You're

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Speaker 10: going to be a stay at home mom, which is

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Speaker 10: what she wants or whatever. So and then you go

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Speaker 10: to there like I'm in that same boat right now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I don't. I don't know that it's going to change, man,

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Speaker 1: but I hope it does for you. And yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's the overwhelming thing that we're getting text

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Speaker 1: like overwhelming is people saying this is a this is

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Speaker 1: kind of a personality. I don't want to call it

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Speaker 1: a flaw, but it's this is in your DNA. I

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Speaker 1: feel like, yeah, Jesse, thank you man, have a good

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Speaker 1: day and good luck you guys have a good day. Well.

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Speaker 1: I had a roommate and we didn't get along in college.

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Speaker 1: The only room I ever had, and this two was

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Speaker 1: it wasn't messy per se, but he was sort of

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Speaker 1: his half of the room is somewhat disheveled, and I

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Speaker 1: used to organize it, not organize it, but I clean

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Speaker 1: it basically, like make it not disheveled, because my side

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Speaker 1: of the room wasn't. And I realized over time he

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Speaker 1: hated me for that because that's how he wanted his

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Speaker 1: space to be, and he had every right to have that.

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Speaker 2: It was his side of the room.

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Speaker 1: But like and I guess I learned that that there

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Speaker 1: are people who find this is the way they want

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Speaker 1: to live, like for whatever reason it's I don't know,

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Speaker 1: they find comfort in it or something, and I had

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Speaker 1: to respect that. But what I did know is that

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Speaker 1: he and I would not be good roommates. Moving forward,

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Speaker 1: couldn't marry the guy because you know, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to clean up after him all the time. And I

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Speaker 1: guess the thing is, would you agree you have to

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Speaker 1: find someone to be with who has at least similar sensibilities.

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Speaker 2: In that way?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, then again, if two people are messy, then you

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Speaker 1: know you're gonna live in a pig stye.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know, you.

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Speaker 4: Just need to have like respect, you know, definitely changed

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Speaker 4: some things, like when I moved in with my boyfriend.

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Speaker 5: I think you just have to be willing to meet

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Speaker 5: them where they.

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Speaker 6: Are, to listen to what they're No, yeah, they're asking

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Speaker 6: for Betsy.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you're saying, And just if you're just tuning in,

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Speaker 1: by the way, stay or go. This dude is married

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Speaker 1: to a woman who leaves her her clothes in the

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Speaker 1: in the not only the dryer, but in the washer

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Speaker 1: and lets them get all milty. We get nasty eats

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Speaker 1: in the bed, leaves dishes in the sink. He said like, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: can you help out with this? Can we not do

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Speaker 1: all that? And she doesn't stop. It continues to happen,

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Speaker 1: it persists. So what do you think, stare go?

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Speaker 4: I think he should go, and I love you guys.

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Speaker 9: And everything like that, he should or.

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Speaker 2: He should he should go, Yeah, he should go.

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Speaker 4: Oh, they both should.

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Speaker 9: Go their separate ways. And it definitely says that in

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Speaker 9: Ecclesiastes the Old Testament leave. It's the Old Testament.

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Speaker 4: And I am about fifteen years into a relationship that's

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Speaker 4: very similar. I'm not going anywhere, but as an older

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Speaker 4: person looking at a younger person, you need to go

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Speaker 4: because if you've met somewhere in the middle, then okay,

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Speaker 4: then we're listening to each other, we're understanding. But like

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Speaker 4: my partner is very tidy, very cleanly. I can be

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Speaker 4: like Paulina miss messy Lilfain and but I also do

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Speaker 4: all the laundry in the house. I do all the

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Speaker 4: cooking in the house. His version of cooking is takeout

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Speaker 4: so and so the dishes, and he works two jobs seasonally.

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Speaker 4: So I am to put everything in the dishwasher, you know,

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Speaker 4: clean it. Like right now, there's dirty dishes in the sink.

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Speaker 4: Probably you know, when he wakes up, he's probably gonna

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Speaker 4: be like roll his eyes. But being that fifteen years in,

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Speaker 4: if it's already like that right now, I've made changes

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Speaker 4: I've met in the middle.

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Speaker 9: But if I put out.

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Speaker 4: Too many little decorations on the table for a holiday,

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Speaker 4: he will go around and change them because there'll be

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Speaker 4: too many things on that table clutter bets.

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Speaker 1: What you're saying, basically is you're fifteen years in, you're invested,

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Speaker 1: so you deal with it. But if you had it

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Speaker 1: to do over again, this is this is enough of

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Speaker 1: an issue that it might not lead to a fifteen

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Speaker 1: year relationship again.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like I'd be like, three years in, I'd be like,

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Speaker 4: thank you for what you've taught me, but I think

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Speaker 4: we should go away our separate ways.

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Speaker 1: Okay, fair enough. So this is like you're what you're

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Speaker 1: saying is fundamentally this is an issue.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I mean away. I've heard that song before.

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Speaker 2: It's too late, apologized. That's I gotta go have a

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Speaker 2: good day. I appreciate you.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I have four more years than you know.

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Speaker 10: Our kid is eighteen, so.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's got a calendar in about three years

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Speaker 1: and oh my goodness, yeah three point seven years you

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Speaker 1: but I was and she's out of it. Look, Betsy,

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Speaker 1: I gotta.

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Speaker 9: Go have a good day, all right, Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: Bye.

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Speaker 2: Okay, there it is. She a lot to say.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, do you want to let the streets know in

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Speaker 5: a couple.

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Speaker 1: Of years, right, everybody, make sure you're around in about

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Speaker 1: three point seventy five to four years. That's right, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be on the market. The Entertainment Report is

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Speaker 1: next