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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Hurdle, a podcast that talks to everyone

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Speaker 1: from top CEOs and entrepreneurs to athletes about how they

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Speaker 1: got through tough times hurdles of sorts by leaning into wellness.

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Speaker 1: It's Wednesday, which means that you are listening to another

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Speaker 1: Hurdle Moment for the smaller obstacles we deal with each

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Speaker 1: and every day. This week, I'm talking about getting rid

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Speaker 1: of negative self talk. It's something I definitely struggle with,

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Speaker 1: that little voice in my head that can be super

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Speaker 1: super critical. Of course, I am a huge advocate for

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Speaker 1: being your own biggest fan, and I'm constantly working on

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Speaker 1: building myself up in order to be the best version

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Speaker 1: of myself for the people around me. But that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that the voice doesn't kick in every now and again,

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Speaker 1: whether it's at the office and you're doubting that you're

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Speaker 1: the right person to take on some new exciting project,

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Speaker 1: or perhaps it's one of those face yourself in the

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Speaker 1: mirror moments where it's easy to be a little less

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Speaker 1: than nice about how something fits or looks, or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Negative talk happens. Recently, I went through something which triggered

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Speaker 1: today's Hurdle Moment episode. It was about of travel that

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Speaker 1: ended in mid March, and during trips from Los Angeles

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Speaker 1: to Austin and Abiza, in Paris, in so many wonderful places,

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Speaker 1: I lost some compassion for me. In the process, I

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Speaker 1: had honestly gained a little bit of weight, and I

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Speaker 1: soon realized that the way that I was talking to myself, well,

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Speaker 1: it's not really how I'd want to talk to anybody else.

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Speaker 1: The good news and all this is that I've been

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Speaker 1: able to flip the script, and that's what we're talking

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Speaker 1: about today. I try often to give you guys as

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Speaker 1: many takeaways as possible, and today I'm talking openly about

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Speaker 1: my experience. I'm getting vulnerable with you because I'm hoping

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Speaker 1: that if you're dealing with something like this right now,

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Speaker 1: or if you've dealt with something like this in the past,

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Speaker 1: that you know that you're not alone, and that maybe

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Speaker 1: I can help you too get over your own hurdle.

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Speaker 1: You know the Drill at Hurdle podcast on Instagram, on Twitter,

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Speaker 1: on Facebook, Share a hurdle moment of your own with me,

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Speaker 1: emailing me It's Emily at Hurdle dot us. And that's it.

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Speaker 1: With that, let's get to this week's hurdle moment. I

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Speaker 1: went to a podcast meet up last week with a

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Speaker 1: few guys I love from a news podcast I listened

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Speaker 1: to called Group Chat, and one of them was talking

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Speaker 1: about how authenticity is gold. His name is de Murphy,

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Speaker 1: and obviously he was talking about it in relation to podcasting,

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Speaker 1: but it's really true everywhere. When you want people to

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Speaker 1: trust you, and that can be as a friend or

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Speaker 1: a lover, a source or an expert or whatever, the

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Speaker 1: best thing you can do is just be upfront with

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Speaker 1: who you really are. We all have authority over things

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Speaker 1: that we know to be true, and for me, I

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Speaker 1: feel like the things that I have some sort of

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Speaker 1: authority over are running. And then something I might not

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Speaker 1: talk as much about, which is weight loss. Now on

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Speaker 1: the pod, I've talked before about how I used to

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Speaker 1: weigh about seventy pounds more than I do now back

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Speaker 1: in college, and the good thing about that weight loss

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Speaker 1: is that I've been able to keep it off. And

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Speaker 1: that's because during the whole process, I turned eating healthier

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Speaker 1: and working out into parts of my lifestyle. Sure, there

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Speaker 1: have definitely been times here and there where I've gained

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Speaker 1: a few pounds, but I've always been able to reel

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Speaker 1: it in, like, for example, after big holiday weekends, I'd

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Speaker 1: come back to the city, put on my sneakers, and

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Speaker 1: run it out. I was never mad about what some

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Speaker 1: people might consider going overboard every now and again with eating.

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Speaker 1: I love food, I really really do, and life is

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Speaker 1: just way too short, in my opinion, to just view

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Speaker 1: it as fuel. There are cheeseboards and wine and sushi

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Speaker 1: and desserts and so many things worth eating. I actually

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Speaker 1: talked to Danielle Dubois and Whitney Tangle about this, the

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Speaker 1: Sakara Life Founders and their episode of Hurdle, And the

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Speaker 1: fact is is that we are what we do ninety

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Speaker 1: five percent of the time, and that's with everything right,

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Speaker 1: whether it's how you handle your relationships with your friends

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Speaker 1: or maybe what your diet looks like. We can't get

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Speaker 1: down on ourselves about that other five percent. Earlier this year,

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Speaker 1: that five percent became ten, and then twenty, and then

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Speaker 1: it felt like I was out of control. I had

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Speaker 1: been traveling NonStop, like I said, to Paris in Spain

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Speaker 1: and Los Angeles and Austin and everywhere, and the experiences

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Speaker 1: were so awesome and I feel so lucky that I

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Speaker 1: had them. But after about the fourth or fifth trip,

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Speaker 1: I started to feel pretty awful. Honestly, I was frustrated

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Speaker 1: that my clothes weren't fitting the same. I felt like

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Speaker 1: I didn't have the same energy. I felt lethargic and cranky,

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Speaker 1: and you hear it all the time, but I was

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Speaker 1: trying to overwork out to accommodate a bad diet, and

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Speaker 1: it just was not working. I would wake up almost

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Speaker 1: every day and tell myself, today's the day you're going

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Speaker 1: to turn this around, and then well, it wouldn't happen.

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Speaker 1: I'd say, okay, tomorrow, and it would just repeat and

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Speaker 1: repeat and repeat. So when after avoiding the skill for mine,

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Speaker 1: once I finally stepped on, I was greeted with what

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Speaker 1: I already knew. I knew I felt that already. The

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Speaker 1: change in the number on the scale was just another

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Speaker 1: indication of why. I texted my best friend and I

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Speaker 1: told her that I needed her help and that accountability

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Speaker 1: that in itself helped. That's when I was able to

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Speaker 1: turn it around. Finally, I committed to getting back to

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Speaker 1: a place of self love. I committed to getting back

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Speaker 1: to a place where I felt comfortable in my own body.

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Speaker 1: The goal of course that I'd lose some of that weight,

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Speaker 1: but more so that I would get back to feeling

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Speaker 1: like me. So here are the steps I took. This

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Speaker 1: is what worked for me. Here are my tricks to

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Speaker 1: eliminating negative self talk. Trick number one. Rite in a

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Speaker 1: gratitude journal. I would say over those four to five

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Speaker 1: trips over that month and a half to two month

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Speaker 1: period where I was in and out of the city constantly,

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Speaker 1: I probably wrote in that journal a third of the time.

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Speaker 1: I knew that I needed to get back to thinking

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Speaker 1: about the things in my life that made me grateful,

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Speaker 1: the things that were positive, and the things that made

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Speaker 1: me happy. I swear just a few minutes writing down

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Speaker 1: your thoughts, your feelings every single day, the things that

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Speaker 1: make you feel happy about what you have in your life.

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Speaker 1: It's so so valuable, and just a reminder. This doesn't

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Speaker 1: need to be something where you sit with it for

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes in your morning. I know we've all got

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Speaker 1: stuff to do. I've gone through phases in my life

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Speaker 1: where I'm writing in a gratitude journal and I'm writing

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Speaker 1: three things that I'm thankful for every single morning, And

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Speaker 1: right now I'm in more of a rite for five

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Speaker 1: minutes and it's just one bit, one thing that makes

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Speaker 1: me feel happy for the past twenty four hours. Both

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Speaker 1: are good, both are worthwhile. So for me, getting back

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Speaker 1: to the gratitude journal, getting back to remembering the things

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Speaker 1: that make me happy, it was a huge step in

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Speaker 1: the right direction to eliminating that negative self time. I

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Speaker 1: think the really cool thing about taking the time to

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Speaker 1: enter things in a gratitude journal is that sometimes when

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Speaker 1: you go to do it and you realize or you

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Speaker 1: think about the fact that you might not have anything

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Speaker 1: to put in there, it really makes you stop and

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Speaker 1: it makes you evaluate, Okay, what happened over the last

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours, and why am I feeling like there's

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Speaker 1: nothing good going on? How can I make a change

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Speaker 1: to that? How can I fix this? It becomes problematic

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Speaker 1: when you don't take the time to stop and reflect,

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Speaker 1: and so trick number one, have some gratitude and write

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Speaker 1: it down. Trick number two, be conscious of what you're

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Speaker 1: putting in your body. Everyone's relationship with food is different,

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Speaker 1: but for me, when I'm feeling stressed or upset or

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Speaker 1: whatever the case may be, I kind of reach to

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Speaker 1: food as a source of comfort during this time when

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Speaker 1: I was traveling so much. To be honest, what I

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Speaker 1: was reaching for the most was alcohol. Alcohol was an

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Speaker 1: easy path at the time to empty calories, and it

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Speaker 1: was also obviously a little bit depressing. I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a good reason for why I found myself drinking more,

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Speaker 1: and I knew that if I was going to be

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Speaker 1: going out with friends that would be happening. I'd have

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Speaker 1: a drink, and then I'd have another, and then I'd

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Speaker 1: have another, And before I knew it, I was just

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Speaker 1: kind of casually at four or five a night. That

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Speaker 1: is not a way to be. So I started to

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Speaker 1: get really mindful about what I was consuming, yes, with alcohol,

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Speaker 1: but also with food. I made a pledge to start

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Speaker 1: writing things down. My trick to being more mindful keeping

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Speaker 1: a food journal. You know, back in college I was

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Speaker 1: on weight Watchers, and that's how I lost a lot

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Speaker 1: of weight. And part of the weight Watchers program is

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Speaker 1: that you write things down. I knew that if I

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Speaker 1: was going to sit down after I was dead eating

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Speaker 1: and be accountable and keep track of what was going on,

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Speaker 1: that I'd be more considerate about what I was going

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Speaker 1: to tap out in my notes. App By being considerate

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Speaker 1: of what we're putting into our bodies. It's just one

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Speaker 1: way to show yourself a little bit of compassion. It's

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Speaker 1: another way to give back to you, to show some

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Speaker 1: self love, which brings me to trick number three. Talk

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Speaker 1: about it. It's hard. I get it. It's hard to

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Speaker 1: say when things aren't going well for me. I think

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Speaker 1: what's really tough is that I want to be a

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Speaker 1: source of strength for so many other people. But I've

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Speaker 1: come to terms with this idea that if I'm not

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Speaker 1: giving back to myself, if I'm not working on being

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Speaker 1: the best version of myself, then I can't be strong

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Speaker 1: for my friends. I can't help you. It doesn't work

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Speaker 1: that way. Sometimes you've got to be upfront and honest

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Speaker 1: with the idea that you need some help. When we're

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Speaker 1: all in our head, things get built up, right. It's

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Speaker 1: like for me, for weeks and weeks and weeks, I

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Speaker 1: was struggling with this idea that I was frustrated with

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Speaker 1: what I was putting into my body and how I felt,

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Speaker 1: and the dialogue it wasn't changing, and it was just

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Speaker 1: this long spiral. But the second I told someone how

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Speaker 1: I felt, the second I felt like I had some support,

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Speaker 1: that was when I felt confident that I was capable

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Speaker 1: again of making the change. It's kind of like when

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Speaker 1: you're studying for a big exam in college and you

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Speaker 1: have an exam date right, and it's like you could

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Speaker 1: slack off for a few weeks of a semester, but

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Speaker 1: ultimately with that exam date lingering, you know there's going

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Speaker 1: to be some sort of test. When you reach out

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Speaker 1: to a friend and you tell them that you're feeling

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Speaker 1: some kind of way, that maybe that self talk is

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Speaker 1: creeping up and it's negative and whatever, you've in a

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Speaker 1: sense set the test date. It's like, Okay, if this

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Speaker 1: person's a true friend, then they're going to reach back

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Speaker 1: out to you. You're going to know that there's some

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Speaker 1: accountability there, and come quote unquote exam day, you have

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to prove to yourself and obviously to them,

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Speaker 1: that you've got this whole thing under control. Now. I'll

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Speaker 1: be the first to admit that just because you tell

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Speaker 1: someone how you feel doesn't mean instantly you're going to

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Speaker 1: start feeling better. It doesn't mean instantly that little voice

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Speaker 1: is going to stop nagging you. But what it does

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Speaker 1: mean is that now you have an outlet. Now you

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Speaker 1: don't have to feel so alone, and that's really really special.

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Speaker 1: Trick number four, celebrate the small wins. Whether it's with

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Speaker 1: shifting how you talk to yourself, or with weight loss,

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Speaker 1: or with tackling a big project at the office or

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Speaker 1: working up to run a marathon. A lot of us

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Speaker 1: have really big goals, and sometimes in the excitement of

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Speaker 1: that big goal, we forget to celebrate the small stuff.

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Speaker 1: For me, there were a lot of small wins that

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Speaker 1: were happening constantly, like putting on my genes and feeling

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Speaker 1: good again, or making the time to pack my lunch

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Speaker 1: in the morning. I mean, they're endless. Small wins are

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Speaker 1: meant to be just that small, and celebrating them it's

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Speaker 1: just going to inevitably make you a happier person, a

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Speaker 1: prouder person. We all owe it to ourselves to remember

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Speaker 1: every small step forward is a step in the right direction.

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Speaker 1: And so to recap the four tricks to eliminating that

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Speaker 1: negative self talk, Trick one, keep a gratitude journal, Trick two,

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Speaker 1: be mindful of what you're putting in your body, Trick

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Speaker 1: three talk to someone about it, and Trick four, celebrate

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Speaker 1: the small wins. I know we've all been there so

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Speaker 1: many different times in our lives when this negative talk

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Speaker 1: comes in, whether it's on a run and you're four

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Speaker 1: minutes in and you feel like it's as though you've

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Speaker 1: never even done it before, or whether you're staring down

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Speaker 1: at the scale and you're feeling so frustrated, wondering how

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Speaker 1: did I even get here? I get it. What I

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Speaker 1: want to hit home time and time again is that

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Speaker 1: A you are never alone, and B you have the

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Speaker 1: power to make a change, to shift the narrative, to

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Speaker 1: change the dialogue. It's definitely not always going to be easy,

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Speaker 1: and in fact, most times it isn't. I offer you

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Speaker 1: these strikes that worked for me in hopes that maybe

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Speaker 1: at least one of them works for you. I'm honest

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Speaker 1: with you in today's hurdle moment about going through some

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Speaker 1: tough stuff, because the reality is is that life is

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Speaker 1: never just going to be smooth sailing, and we owe

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Speaker 1: it to ourselves to do the best we can with

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Speaker 1: what we have. And that's it. Man, It's exhausting being vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening guys this week. Make sure to hit

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Speaker 1: me up if you're implementing any of these strategies. I

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Speaker 1: always want to know if what I'm putting out there

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Speaker 1: is what you like, So if you have a second,

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Speaker 1: leave a quick comment on Instagram at Hurdle Podcast. Go

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Speaker 1: ahead on over into the iTunes store, click the link

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Speaker 1: with the description to this episode and rate and review

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Speaker 1: the podcast, and thank you for letting me be me

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Speaker 1: another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time. Well,