Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: it is Lalakent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Today we're doing
Speaker 1: something very untraditional and having my haters on the podcast.
Speaker 1: And I just have to put it out there that
Speaker 1: I posted on Instagram that I was calling all haters
Speaker 1: for a face off. I was very underwhelmed because a
Speaker 1: lot of you are really fucking loud in the comments section,
Speaker 1: but when it comes to wanting to talk to me
Speaker 1: face to face, y'all run scared. It was. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm actually very excited because we picked three three haters
Speaker 1: who had beef with Lalla and they're ready for a
Speaker 1: face off. And by the way, they may not like me,
Speaker 1: but I got mad respect for them because I truly
Speaker 1: I thought we were going to have an overwhelming amount
Speaker 1: of haters that we're ready to go toes. But that's
Speaker 1: why they call you trolls, because you stay in the holes.
Speaker 1: Let's have our first hater. Cameron.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, how.
Speaker 1: Are you how I'm doing excellent.
Speaker 2: I'm very excited about this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. Tell me your name Cameron, Cameron, and
Speaker 1: where are you from? Denver, Denver, Colorado. Okay, I'm from Utah,
Speaker 1: so yeah, like we're like right there. All right, So
Speaker 1: you saw on Instagram that I was calling all haters
Speaker 1: and you're going to be shocked by this, but I
Speaker 1: didn't get very many. Really yeah, so I'm like, I
Speaker 1: know that they're out there, but I don't know that
Speaker 1: they're willing to face me. So right off the bat,
Speaker 1: I want to say that let's put some respect on
Speaker 1: your name, because you fucking showed up.
Speaker 2: I'm into it.
Speaker 1: Let's just deep dive what about me makes you not
Speaker 1: dig it?
Speaker 3: Well? I used to be a huge fan, Okay, a
Speaker 3: huge fan, like I listened to the Pods weekly, like
Speaker 3: I was huge fan.
Speaker 2: Your last season of vanderpumb.
Speaker 3: Rules like just lost me, like lost me the energy
Speaker 3: that you had, like at the Scandabal reunion, like going
Speaker 3: after Sandoval and Raquel, Like I feel like it just
Speaker 3: flipped during the last season, and you know, given I
Speaker 3: know you were going through a lot, I just felt
Speaker 3: like it was like not you and maybe you know,
Speaker 3: maybe it wasn't your thing, but like I just felt
Speaker 3: like you weren't a girl's girl. You were being hypocritical,
Speaker 3: and I just I feel like you just bet on
Speaker 3: the wrong horse and you lost a lot of fans.
Speaker 2: You know, I definitely you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1: And I think if I could go back and pinpoint
Speaker 1: my emotions and convey them the right way. I was
Speaker 1: feeling a lot that like I didn't necessarily they were
Speaker 1: feelings I hadn't felt before, right, And it was a
Speaker 1: huge turn from like season ten going into season eleven,
Speaker 1: and I think season ten I would have been labeled
Speaker 1: very differently had I not been right.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So like that entire season, I was actually being
Speaker 1: called like a scorned woman. I was angry, and then
Speaker 1: I just happened to be right, so everybody put me
Speaker 1: on a pedestal. Cut to we're going into season eleven.
Speaker 1: My adrenaline has now faded. I'm very vulnerable, I'm emotional.
Speaker 1: I'm sinking into the fact that like I have to
Speaker 1: share my child and that's just it is what it is.
Speaker 1: The fight is gone. I wish I could have gone
Speaker 1: about it differently. I have a lot of regrets. I
Speaker 1: have a lot of shame, But I don't think you're
Speaker 1: alone and feeling that way about me.
Speaker 5: Like your whole thing was like I don't want you
Speaker 5: in my circle if you're communicating with Randall and like
Speaker 5: I obviously there's a kit of ball, so it is
Speaker 5: a little bit different. But like that, like cutthroat energy,
Speaker 5: I feel like it should have been the same for.
Speaker 2: All the other girls.
Speaker 1: It should have been I should have been able to
Speaker 1: take a step back and say, like, not everyone's healing
Speaker 1: pross or situation is the same as mine, and whatever
Speaker 1: you need in this moment, I need to have your
Speaker 1: back and I didn't do that, however, getting the heat
Speaker 1: that I.
Speaker 2: Got on season eleven.
Speaker 1: If I could go back, I don't know that I
Speaker 1: would have given the two people who were responsible for
Speaker 1: scan of all that much heat because it's intense.
Speaker 3: Really yeah, hmm interesting, I like that.
Speaker 1: Well we all did what a moment to be alive, right, No,
Speaker 1: I did learn a lot And also like, I appreciate
Speaker 1: you getting on here and being honest with me because
Speaker 1: I know that you're not the only one. I feel
Speaker 1: like I had a lot of people who really fucked
Speaker 1: hard with me, and after that it was like, you
Speaker 1: don't know what you stand for, and to be honest,
Speaker 1: I didn't in that moment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Sena like you like Shina like I hate
Speaker 3: Shana and you.
Speaker 2: You and like you.
Speaker 5: Being for the Shina like I just was like no, like, no,
Speaker 5: You're better than that.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I know you don't like me, but I'm really digging you.
Speaker 1: I love someone who can like come on here and
Speaker 1: face me and be like, this is why I don't
Speaker 1: fuck with you. You lost me and you picked the wrong horse,
Speaker 1: and I do I want to.
Speaker 3: Like you, but just the last season, we haven't seen
Speaker 3: anything since then. I mean then it's like I just.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you fucking nailed it with me. I
Speaker 1: was a lost little soul.
Speaker 2: I went into hiding.
Speaker 1: I was just like wanting to be a mom and
Speaker 1: fall off the face of the earth. But hopefully I can.
Speaker 1: I can regain your likeness too, I hope.
Speaker 2: So on the Valley this season.
Speaker 3: I'm hopeful.
Speaker 2: I'm hopeful too. I really appreciate you.
Speaker 5: Like fat, that like bulldog energy, like.
Speaker 2: Sensitive.
Speaker 1: Now I've never in my life given one damn about
Speaker 1: the comments section, and now I feel like any situation
Speaker 1: I go into, I have an out of body experience,
Speaker 1: like what will everyone think we're You've watched vander Pump.
Speaker 1: I never cared what people thought. I know, I know,
Speaker 1: all right, you've inspired me. I need that back, all right,
Speaker 1: betch you got it?
Speaker 2: Am I gonna give them Lala again? What the fuck
Speaker 2: is happening?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: And maybe you should do day James too. Oh no,
Speaker 2: now you lost me. She wants a real throwback, Lallah,
Speaker 2: doesn't she. I had a heyday with you.
Speaker 1: I hope I can regain your likeness and I appreciate
Speaker 1: the ovaries that you have coming onto this podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, yes, we'll see.
Speaker 3: Nice to meet too, and I hope I hope.
Speaker 1: For some of that O g Lala all right because
Speaker 1: you told me so, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 2: You got it. Thank you, Cam, have the best day.
Speaker 4: You too, Bye bye bye, Well, hello, gorgeous? Well Hello,
Speaker 4: Oh we brought the hoops out.
Speaker 2: I love it for you anything and the purple?
Speaker 6: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: I love it?
Speaker 1: Okay, So I have to tell you I put out
Speaker 1: that thing on Instagram which was like calling all haters,
Speaker 1: and I got like very little. So that either means
Speaker 1: I have no haters, which we all know that ain't
Speaker 1: true because I see him in the comments section.
Speaker 2: Little fucking trols.
Speaker 1: Not that you're a troll, but here you are. You've
Speaker 1: got the ovaries to face me.
Speaker 6: I'm not a comment section control.
Speaker 1: There we go, see you're well, here we go.
Speaker 2: I love it, So what about me? Do you not dig?
Speaker 6: So it was mostly I like, I already feel like
Speaker 6: the growth has come, like you've you've shown.
Speaker 2: It, and I'm happy about it.
Speaker 6: My beef comes from season eleven with the whole Katie situation. Okay,
Speaker 6: that broke my heart because I lived for you and
Speaker 6: Katie's friendship.
Speaker 2: I thought it was so real.
Speaker 6: You guys were, as you said, truth tellers and you are.
Speaker 6: And my favorite thing about you was season ten you
Speaker 6: said sticks and stones, baby, sticks and stones, But I
Speaker 6: don't go fuck your man. You don't do crazy shit.
Speaker 6: You might say some crazy shit, but you don't do
Speaker 6: it right. And I think that was where the beef
Speaker 6: came from, because I feel like season eleven reunion, you
Speaker 6: kind of came after Katie in that like Instagram kind
Speaker 6: of DM feed feud of no one really knows the
Speaker 6: real what was said. I was like, you guys are
Speaker 6: really friends, why are you hitting her with the Scotcha moment?
Speaker 6: Like you guys had actual conversations off camera, like you know,
Speaker 6: beyond cast. I felt like you guys were real and
Speaker 6: I was like, Lala, why are you going after Katie?
Speaker 2: Like what is this?
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you think it kind of breaks the fourth wall,
Speaker 6: you being like I wasn't the only one frustrated with Ariana.
Speaker 6: I wasn't the only one frustrated with how all of
Speaker 6: this was playing out. And I want to show that
Speaker 6: everybody else was frustrated too, right, But you stand so
Speaker 6: strong on your own that I was like, Lalla, come
Speaker 6: on girl, right.
Speaker 1: I think I lost a lot of people on season
Speaker 1: eleven and season ten. You have to remember, like, had
Speaker 1: I not been right about Raquel and Tom, I would
Speaker 1: have looked like a bitter woman, right, Like I just
Speaker 1: got lucky, truly.
Speaker 6: I think you sniffed that shit a mile away, though, oh.
Speaker 1: I sniff it out all the time, right, And I
Speaker 1: think it bothers people because cut to where we are now,
Speaker 1: and people will be like, La, La says the same thing,
Speaker 1: So and so's a narcissist. And I always say, put
Speaker 1: a different type of person in front of me and
Speaker 1: I'll have a different response. Season eleven, I was so
Speaker 1: beaten down in my own life where I had to
Speaker 1: come to terms with my reality. Where season ten I
Speaker 1: was in it. I had adrenaline. I was ready to
Speaker 1: fucking fight the fight. Season eleven was like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: this is my reality and how do I come to
Speaker 1: terms with this? So truth be told, I shouldn't have
Speaker 1: gone back to season eleven. I should have focused on
Speaker 1: my on my mental health and really coming to terms
Speaker 1: with what my life was going to be like for
Speaker 1: the long haul and with Katie.
Speaker 2: I still to this and it took me.
Speaker 1: It took me a while to get over it because
Speaker 1: I had anger, but then I had shame and sadness,
Speaker 1: and I had to work with my sponsor to pinpoint
Speaker 1: all of these emotions and then say what did I do?
Speaker 1: How do I clean my side of the street. But
Speaker 1: I felt I felt abandoned by her, And that's my perspective,
Speaker 1: that's my feeling.
Speaker 2: That is not a fact. That's just me saying that.
Speaker 1: I felt very isolated and like I was the only
Speaker 1: one kind of saying things behind the scenes, but also
Speaker 1: to the face. And so when I would get into
Speaker 1: a group of people and everyone fell silent, I felt
Speaker 1: so vulnerable and exposed and it just every nothing landed
Speaker 1: Season eleven. I still am trying to recover from it
Speaker 1: because it fucked me up. And I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: my confidence back from season eleven. I've never cared what
Speaker 1: people say about me. That was the first time where
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm having an out
Speaker 1: of body experience.
Speaker 6: But like I will say, it's like, I dug it,
Speaker 6: I understood your POV. That's why, like, with all the
Speaker 6: shit that you've gone through in the past, I was
Speaker 6: annoyed to watching season eleven. I was saying, you know,
Speaker 6: Laala went through a lot of shit and was kind
Speaker 6: of belittled by it by a lot of people on
Speaker 6: that show. And then you know, Roles reversed. She's in
Speaker 6: a situation that you're like, hey, this is a little
Speaker 6: whacked up, like let's fix it for yourself, and everybody's
Speaker 6: like lever be, lever be, and you're like, but I
Speaker 6: see it. And then her coming in and being like,
Speaker 6: it's not about you, it's not about your situation. I
Speaker 6: was like, damn, Katie, Like she's just trying to relate,
Speaker 6: and I think I get that. I think me and
Speaker 6: you are I'm similar to you where I like to
Speaker 6: relate to people, but I get you saying this. Now
Speaker 6: I understand the abandonment because it's like you, it's the
Speaker 6: truth Tellers. You were like, you're my girl.
Speaker 2: You do this with me.
Speaker 6: I can't do it alone right now? Yeah, And that
Speaker 6: feels like where you were coming from. And you know
Speaker 6: it kind of for me, the beef stem from like
Speaker 6: she forgave if she was sitting and talking to Sandibal,
Speaker 6: why yeah, that garbage back? I know, no, but I mean,
Speaker 6: you know, tell me if I could say this or not.
Speaker 6: I think it kind of broke the fourth wall of
Speaker 6: you being like I need to secure my place here
Speaker 6: and I want the show to continue. I don't know
Speaker 6: if that's still like how you felt, but like maybe
Speaker 6: you kind of leaned into that so like it worked
Speaker 6: a little better.
Speaker 1: Was that?
Speaker 4: Maybe it?
Speaker 1: So everyone was like, it's not Ariana's job to put
Speaker 1: food on your table. And I think what I was trying,
Speaker 1: what I was trying to say, is that show vander
Speaker 1: Pump Rules. Everything beyond it is because we're on vander
Speaker 1: Pump Rules. So it had nothing to do with like
Speaker 1: we need I need this show to pay my bills.
Speaker 1: It was like everything, Can we for a moment not
Speaker 1: act like we're too good for this stage because this
Speaker 1: is what started it all. Can we like not forget
Speaker 1: where we've come from from. We can definitely grow beyond it,
Speaker 1: but let's not shit on it.
Speaker 2: I felt that, I felt that hardcore.
Speaker 6: I felt like a lot of people were coming back
Speaker 6: to just be like I don't need this, or I
Speaker 6: don't want this, or my life's better off now, and
Speaker 6: it's like, let's take a moment and remember where we
Speaker 6: came from and how we got to this better.
Speaker 1: Life, right, And I wish that I could have conveyed
Speaker 1: myself a little bit better, but I was so I
Speaker 1: was so lost in my own emotions. I didn't I
Speaker 1: was feeling things I had never felt before, and so
Speaker 1: how I didn't know what to do with them. I
Speaker 1: felt like a toddler who was feeling emotion for the
Speaker 1: first time, and then you just see them throwing a
Speaker 1: tantrum because they don't know.
Speaker 2: How to deal with it. That's how I felt.
Speaker 6: I love that you recognize that, I really really do.
Speaker 6: It makes you such like a well rounded individual, and
Speaker 6: I get that. I do think that, Like in that season,
Speaker 6: you admit it, and it was one of my favorite
Speaker 6: interviews where you go, I have to practice forgiveness, and
Speaker 6: I think it was that I think you had your
Speaker 6: boxed up in of like I'm in Fitte modes and
Speaker 6: like you just said it, it came all out and
Speaker 6: I see that. I see that, and that's why I
Speaker 6: think it broke my heart where I like had the
Speaker 6: beef of like no, this doesn't seem like her, Like
Speaker 6: I was screaming at the TV.
Speaker 2: Like this is my girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that was the first season I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like myself, even in all the seasons where I was drinking,
Speaker 1: Season eleven was the one time that I felt like
Speaker 1: a very wounded bird.
Speaker 6: Oh now I get it, and that strength didn't come
Speaker 6: through I see it. I get it now, and like,
Speaker 6: you know, I get it.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 6: And I hope you and Katie you can like get
Speaker 6: back to a place of peace. You know, it depends
Speaker 6: on whoever wants to have that relationship again. And yeah,
Speaker 6: I just see you becoming a more peaceful person. And
Speaker 6: like that's why I was like, I want to say
Speaker 6: my beef to her.
Speaker 2: I gotta let her know.
Speaker 6: I want to hear her side.
Speaker 1: And I'm so happy that you did. I like, I
Speaker 1: have so much respect for you for coming on here.
Speaker 2: You know. The trolls are loud in the comments section I.
Speaker 1: Was like, we're going to be flooded with with dms
Speaker 1: and emails.
Speaker 2: I was like, rickets, I'm like, I know they're out there.
Speaker 2: So I really appreciate you.
Speaker 1: I hope you have the best day, and thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming on my podcast.
Speaker 6: Thank you, Lala. You are an angel and I am
Speaker 6: so honored and blessed to be here. Many loves and
Speaker 6: kisses to you.
Speaker 2: Thank you you too, babe. Have the best day. Bye.
Speaker 2: Hi Mollie, Hello Ala, Hi Gorge. How are we right good?
Speaker 7: I had a take in a car. I'm actually a
Speaker 7: first time mom. I'm very excited to talk to you.
Speaker 2: Is the baby in the car?
Speaker 7: No, she's been side with her dad.
Speaker 2: Oh, how amazing. Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 7: I just didn't want to wake her. She was asleep,
Speaker 7: so I was like, oh, speak in the car.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So you wrote in that you have a beef with
Speaker 1: me or you don't like me, and I would love
Speaker 1: to know why.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: So I mean personally I do like you, okay, am
Speaker 7: I my My beef with you would be like seeing
Speaker 7: how a lot of your friendships unfold, So specifically, I
Speaker 7: think as a big podcast fan, actually would be with
Speaker 7: Jess Walters.
Speaker 2: I know that there's not like yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: my old assistant.
Speaker 7: I know there's not like a lot out there about
Speaker 7: what happened. But as a mom, as a small business
Speaker 7: owner who works with her friends as well, I just
Speaker 7: feel like, when you have that close of our relationship
Speaker 7: with someone, it sucks to see that you couldn't have
Speaker 7: pushed forward to make that work continuously, whether on the
Speaker 7: professional side or friendship side.
Speaker 1: You know, I want to maintain her privacy, but it
Speaker 1: was her.
Speaker 2: It was her decision to leave.
Speaker 1: There were things that she wanted in the moment that
Speaker 1: for me, I couldn't give her right there, and at
Speaker 1: some you know, I love and adore her and I
Speaker 1: miss her so much. I literally texted her the other
Speaker 1: day saying like, I hope you know that I love
Speaker 1: you so much and I am so grateful for her.
Speaker 1: It gets so sticky when you bring when you have
Speaker 1: such a closeness, but then you're also responsible for paying
Speaker 1: that paying that person, and they're on your payroll. And
Speaker 1: I wanted to give her the sun, the moon, and
Speaker 1: the stars, but I also have to make sure that
Speaker 1: like in the process of doing that, that the timing
Speaker 1: is right, because I also have a family that I
Speaker 1: have to, you know, make sure that they have food
Speaker 1: on the table, and I wish it could have ended differently.
Speaker 1: Timing is everything, but I still to this day like
Speaker 1: she'll pop up on my phone and my heart just
Speaker 1: feels so sad. And there are moments, babe, where I
Speaker 1: look back on friendships and I do have to say,
Speaker 1: you know, you are the problem in that, and then
Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do about the timing was off,
Speaker 1: my reaction may have been off, and it is sad,
Speaker 1: but that's life. And I've always been someone who wants
Speaker 1: to keep a very tight circle. I don't enjoy a
Speaker 1: lot of people around me, and my psychic told me
Speaker 1: that I have to burn bridges, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, if I burn anymore, and just gonna be no
Speaker 2: one left.
Speaker 1: But from an outside perspective, if I were looking in
Speaker 1: on me, I'd be like, this bitch is insane. She
Speaker 1: like can't keep any friendships or relationships.
Speaker 2: Like I get it.
Speaker 1: I'm not looking at you thinking you're crazy. I definitely
Speaker 1: have had my Taylor Swift moments of Hey, Hi, I'm
Speaker 1: the problem.
Speaker 2: It's me. It's something that I need to I can't.
Speaker 1: Be all in so quickly, and I have to be
Speaker 1: more transparent about what I can do and what I
Speaker 1: can't do. So when I make new friends, I tell
Speaker 1: them I may not be the friend that you want
Speaker 1: because I'm not going to be texting you back all
Speaker 1: the time. I'm not going to answer every phone like I.
Speaker 1: That's just who I am. So if you're looking for
Speaker 1: a best friend, like I'm like a friend, but I'm
Speaker 1: also thirty five years old with babies. You're a new mom,
Speaker 1: and you now know that your priorities are gonna shift a.
Speaker 2: Bit, right, Yes, definitely, Yeah, things are gonna be different.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that I handle things the right way,
Speaker 1: but it is what it is. And I'm just so
Speaker 1: thrilled that you like had the the ovaries to come
Speaker 1: on the podcast and face me and tell me the
Speaker 1: beef you have.
Speaker 2: You're a bad bitch.
Speaker 1: Of course I'm gonna let you go be with your
Speaker 1: sleeping baby. Congratulations.
Speaker 2: I'm wishing you all the best.
Speaker 7: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1: Of course, Bye, babe. Okay, that was actually very amazing.
Speaker 1: I just I don't even want to say faced off
Speaker 1: with three haters because they were actually like very productive
Speaker 1: conversations and honest, and I loved that. It all kind
Speaker 1: of boils down to one thing. We liked you. But
Speaker 1: season eleven you lost me and I became not a fan.
Speaker 1: And I don't quite know how that makes me feel,
Speaker 1: because actually I know exactly how it makes me feel.
Speaker 1: It reminds me that although I'm on a TV show,
Speaker 1: like the audience does very much put you in a box,
Speaker 1: and when you're doing a TV show and then you
Speaker 1: kind of go home and you're with yourself, and cameras
Speaker 1: are not capturing every single moment of your life, right
Speaker 1: and season eleven, as you guys know it, I was
Speaker 1: very much in a very very dark place. I had
Speaker 1: told my agent a million in one times, I do
Speaker 1: not want to go back. I am in a bad spot.
Speaker 1: I'm in a bad place trying to wrap my head
Speaker 1: around the fact that my life is my life, and
Speaker 1: I have to accept that I was angry, I was depressed.
Speaker 1: I was deeply saddened by just like what my reality was.
Speaker 1: And then I was having to go in and film
Speaker 1: a show and focus on other people and have feelings
Speaker 1: about other people when I barely knew my own thoughts
Speaker 1: about myself and my own life, and it was one
Speaker 1: of the most difficult seasons I've ever filmed. And so
Speaker 1: to hear that when I was in the darkest, most
Speaker 1: vulnerable place of my life, that's when people didn't like
Speaker 1: me anymore, that's like really tough to hear because that was. Yes,
Speaker 1: I could have handled it very differently with Katie, with Ariana,
Speaker 1: but I can't go back, and I can't handle something
Speaker 1: differently that I've never done before. There were so many
Speaker 1: motions that I was feeling that I was like, what
Speaker 1: is this. I literally felt like I was floundering. I
Speaker 1: was in the middle of the ocean by myself, just
Speaker 1: like praying to God that someone was going to rescue me.
Speaker 1: I blew up my own spot. I shot myself in
Speaker 1: the foot, But it was real, like what I went
Speaker 1: and said, how I was feeling. What I went and did,
Speaker 1: that was me doing the best that I could in
Speaker 1: that moment. And if I lost people during that time,
Speaker 1: then you know, I have to be okay with that.
Speaker 1: I truly believe that we're all here and our journeys
Speaker 1: and our life story was written in the star as
Speaker 1: well before we even got here, and I don't think
Speaker 1: that there's any mistakes in life. And maybe that's just
Speaker 1: what I have to tell myself in order to sleep
Speaker 1: okay at night. But I've had to work very hard.
Speaker 1: And it was just recently, and you have to remember
Speaker 1: that that season was I think over two years ago.
Speaker 1: It's taken me that long to somewhat regain a little
Speaker 1: bit of confidence, regain some self worth, you know, it
Speaker 1: to take me from, you know, the deepest, darkest place
Speaker 1: I think I've been in a very long time, and
Speaker 1: then add the public's perception of me. I was in
Speaker 1: a dark hole and I'm a crier by nature, but
Speaker 1: this was like a deep sadness crying every day that
Speaker 1: Easton and my mom had to like get me out of.
Speaker 1: I had to avoid the internet. I was trying to
Speaker 1: create a safe space for the baby that I had
Speaker 1: wanted for a couple of years. At that point. It
Speaker 1: was a funky place and if I could go back,
Speaker 1: I would. And I'm not the same person, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to say that that's in a good way.
Speaker 2: Like I it knocked me off my knocked me off.
Speaker 1: My rocker, and I'm still trying to gain, you know,
Speaker 1: some sort of identity of who I, you know, used
Speaker 1: to be because now I second guess everything that comes
Speaker 1: out of my mouth, right like, because I know it's
Speaker 1: always going to go back to that like you did
Speaker 1: this season eleven. I'm always going to be labeled a hypocrite.
Speaker 1: And it's just intense and I'm trying to work through it.
Speaker 1: So Cameron the first I don't even want to label
Speaker 1: her as a hater. Who Cameron, who had beef with me,
Speaker 1: said that I'm not a girl's girl, and I have
Speaker 1: to be honest, you guys, and you're all gonna.
Speaker 2: Come for me.
Speaker 1: I fucking hate that term girls girl. None of us
Speaker 1: are following it. It puts a target on your back
Speaker 1: when you label yourself a girl's girl, because that means
Speaker 1: you can never have beef with another woman. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if I can say that I'm I do
Speaker 1: feel like in this upcoming season of The Valley In
Speaker 1: from my perspective, I think I'm a girl's girl.
Speaker 2: But I also really.
Speaker 1: We hate that term because none of us are following it,
Speaker 1: not even me. None of us are girls girls all right,
Speaker 1: Because I have to be honest, The people who are
Speaker 1: telling me I'm not a girl's girl in the comment
Speaker 1: section are fucking dragging me to filth. So you're also
Speaker 1: not a fucking girls girl bitch, Like everyone, shut the
Speaker 1: fuck up, it doesn't exist. It puts a target on
Speaker 1: your back. I don't want to be labeled that. I
Speaker 1: don't want to claim it. I will say being a
Speaker 1: woman is the hardest thing on the planet because we
Speaker 1: don't have a safe space. We don't have a safe
Speaker 1: space when it comes to toxic masculinity, which is alive
Speaker 1: and well, and we don't have a safe space amongst
Speaker 1: each other either. It's like every woman for themselves. And
Speaker 1: I am a lone wolf. I am guarded, I am nervous,
Speaker 1: I am scared. I am all these things that I
Speaker 1: never in a million years thought that I would fucking be.
Speaker 1: And I know, slowly but surely I will reclaim who
Speaker 1: I am. But there's always no matter who you are,
Speaker 1: there will always be a moment that you experience where
Speaker 1: you're like, that moment changed who I am, and I
Speaker 1: don't know that I will ever be the same person.
Speaker 2: Season eleven was one of those.
Speaker 1: Moments, like my dad passing, of course, getting sober, of
Speaker 1: course you're a different person, but like you learn to cope, right,
Speaker 1: It's like it's a sadness, but there's something beautiful at
Speaker 1: the end of it, like with the healing. With this,
Speaker 1: there's nothing beautiful about it, like I'm always gonna have.
Speaker 1: I have to wear it like a fucking scarlet letter.
Speaker 1: It's suffocating, but I can't control other people, and I
Speaker 1: always say I can only control myself, so like, shake
Speaker 1: it off, bitch. I have still had the hardest fucking
Speaker 1: time shaking it off. So and how crazy I thought
Speaker 1: that the haters would come on and have like all
Speaker 1: sorts of things, and it always goes back to season eleven.
Speaker 1: What I would give to go back in time and
Speaker 1: have my team listen to me when I said, do
Speaker 1: not send me back. I want out. I gotta focus
Speaker 1: on myself.
Speaker 2: Fuck you know.
Speaker 1: It was a part of the journey and here we are.
Speaker 1: So you guys, thank you for listening. If you want
Speaker 1: to face off with me, your little fucking haters, I
Speaker 1: would love to see your gorgeous faces, so make sure
Speaker 1: you email slide in the DMS at untraditionally la la pod.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you.
Speaker 1: Don't just stay in the comments section like let's have
Speaker 1: a face off. I love you, guys, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: catch you for the bonus on Monday and again next week.
Speaker 2: Bye.