WEBVTT - 10 Things I Hate About Lala

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, gorgeous, It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Hey, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>it is Lalakent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Today we're doing

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<v Speaker 1>something very untraditional and having my haters on the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>And I just have to put it out there that

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<v Speaker 1>I posted on Instagram that I was calling all haters

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<v Speaker 1>for a face off. I was very underwhelmed because a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of you are really fucking loud in the comments section,

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<v Speaker 1>but when it comes to wanting to talk to me

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<v Speaker 1>face to face, y'all run scared. It was. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm actually very excited because we picked three three haters

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<v Speaker 1>who had beef with Lalla and they're ready for a

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<v Speaker 1>face off. And by the way, they may not like me,

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<v Speaker 1>but I got mad respect for them because I truly

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<v Speaker 1>I thought we were going to have an overwhelming amount

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<v Speaker 1>of haters that we're ready to go toes. But that's

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<v Speaker 1>why they call you trolls, because you stay in the holes.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's have our first hater. Cameron.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hi, how.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you how I'm doing excellent.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm very excited about this.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, me too. Tell me your name Cameron, Cameron, and

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<v Speaker 1>where are you from? Denver, Denver, Colorado. Okay, I'm from Utah,

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<v Speaker 1>so yeah, like we're like right there. All right, So

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<v Speaker 1>you saw on Instagram that I was calling all haters

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<v Speaker 1>and you're going to be shocked by this, but I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't get very many. Really yeah, so I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 1>know that they're out there, but I don't know that

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<v Speaker 1>they're willing to face me. So right off the bat,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to say that let's put some respect on

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<v Speaker 1>your name, because you fucking showed up.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm into it.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's just deep dive what about me makes you not

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<v Speaker 1>dig it?

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<v Speaker 3>Well? I used to be a huge fan, Okay, a

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<v Speaker 3>huge fan, like I listened to the Pods weekly, like

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<v Speaker 3>I was huge fan.

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<v Speaker 2>Your last season of vanderpumb.

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<v Speaker 3>Rules like just lost me, like lost me the energy

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<v Speaker 3>that you had, like at the Scandabal reunion, like going

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<v Speaker 3>after Sandoval and Raquel, Like I feel like it just

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<v Speaker 3>flipped during the last season, and you know, given I

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<v Speaker 3>know you were going through a lot, I just felt

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<v Speaker 3>like it was like not you and maybe you know,

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<v Speaker 3>maybe it wasn't your thing, but like I just felt

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<v Speaker 3>like you weren't a girl's girl. You were being hypocritical,

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<v Speaker 3>and I just I feel like you just bet on

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<v Speaker 3>the wrong horse and you lost a lot of fans.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I definitely you're absolutely right.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think if I could go back and pinpoint

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<v Speaker 1>my emotions and convey them the right way. I was

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<v Speaker 1>feeling a lot that like I didn't necessarily they were

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<v Speaker 1>feelings I hadn't felt before, right, And it was a

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<v Speaker 1>huge turn from like season ten going into season eleven,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think season ten I would have been labeled

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<v Speaker 1>very differently had I not been right.

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<v Speaker 4>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So like that entire season, I was actually being

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<v Speaker 1>called like a scorned woman. I was angry, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I just happened to be right, so everybody put me

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<v Speaker 1>on a pedestal. Cut to we're going into season eleven.

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<v Speaker 1>My adrenaline has now faded. I'm very vulnerable, I'm emotional.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sinking into the fact that like I have to

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<v Speaker 1>share my child and that's just it is what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>The fight is gone. I wish I could have gone

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<v Speaker 1>about it differently. I have a lot of regrets. I

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<v Speaker 1>have a lot of shame, But I don't think you're

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<v Speaker 1>alone and feeling that way about me.

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<v Speaker 5>Like your whole thing was like I don't want you

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<v Speaker 5>in my circle if you're communicating with Randall and like

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<v Speaker 5>I obviously there's a kit of ball, so it is

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<v Speaker 5>a little bit different. But like that, like cutthroat energy,

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<v Speaker 5>I feel like it should have been the same for.

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<v Speaker 2>All the other girls.

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<v Speaker 1>It should have been I should have been able to

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<v Speaker 1>take a step back and say, like, not everyone's healing

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<v Speaker 1>pross or situation is the same as mine, and whatever

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<v Speaker 1>you need in this moment, I need to have your

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<v Speaker 1>back and I didn't do that, however, getting the heat

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<v Speaker 1>that I.

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<v Speaker 2>Got on season eleven.

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<v Speaker 1>If I could go back, I don't know that I

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<v Speaker 1>would have given the two people who were responsible for

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<v Speaker 1>scan of all that much heat because it's intense.

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<v Speaker 3>Really yeah, hmm interesting, I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Well we all did what a moment to be alive, right, No,

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<v Speaker 1>I did learn a lot And also like, I appreciate

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<v Speaker 1>you getting on here and being honest with me because

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<v Speaker 1>I know that you're not the only one. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I had a lot of people who really fucked

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<v Speaker 1>hard with me, and after that it was like, you

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what you stand for, and to be honest,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't in that moment.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and Sena like you like Shina like I hate

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<v Speaker 3>Shana and you.

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<v Speaker 2>You and like you.

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<v Speaker 5>Being for the Shina like I just was like no, like, no,

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<v Speaker 5>You're better than that.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you don't like me, but I'm really digging you.

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<v Speaker 1>I love someone who can like come on here and

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<v Speaker 1>face me and be like, this is why I don't

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<v Speaker 1>fuck with you. You lost me and you picked the wrong horse,

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<v Speaker 1>and I do I want to.

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<v Speaker 3>Like you, but just the last season, we haven't seen

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<v Speaker 3>anything since then. I mean then it's like I just.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think you fucking nailed it with me. I

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<v Speaker 1>was a lost little soul.

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<v Speaker 2>I went into hiding.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just like wanting to be a mom and

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<v Speaker 1>fall off the face of the earth. But hopefully I can.

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<v Speaker 1>I can regain your likeness too, I hope.

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<v Speaker 2>So on the Valley this season.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm hopeful.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm hopeful too. I really appreciate you.

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<v Speaker 5>Like fat, that like bulldog energy, like.

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<v Speaker 2>Sensitive.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I've never in my life given one damn about

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<v Speaker 1>the comments section, and now I feel like any situation

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<v Speaker 1>I go into, I have an out of body experience,

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<v Speaker 1>like what will everyone think we're You've watched vander Pump.

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<v Speaker 1>I never cared what people thought. I know, I know,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, you've inspired me. I need that back, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>betch you got it?

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<v Speaker 2>Am I gonna give them Lala again? What the fuck

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<v Speaker 2>is happening?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>And maybe you should do day James too. Oh no,

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<v Speaker 2>now you lost me. She wants a real throwback, Lallah,

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't she. I had a heyday with you.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope I can regain your likeness and I appreciate

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<v Speaker 1>the ovaries that you have coming onto this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yes, we'll see.

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<v Speaker 3>Nice to meet too, and I hope I hope.

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<v Speaker 1>For some of that O g Lala all right because

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<v Speaker 1>you told me so, I'm gonna do it.

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<v Speaker 2>You got it. Thank you, Cam, have the best day.

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<v Speaker 4>You too, Bye bye bye, Well, hello, gorgeous? Well Hello,

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<v Speaker 4>Oh we brought the hoops out.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it for you anything and the purple?

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<v Speaker 6>Are you kidding me?

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<v Speaker 2>I love it?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I have to tell you I put out

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<v Speaker 1>that thing on Instagram which was like calling all haters,

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<v Speaker 1>and I got like very little. So that either means

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<v Speaker 1>I have no haters, which we all know that ain't

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<v Speaker 1>true because I see him in the comments section.

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<v Speaker 2>Little fucking trols.

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<v Speaker 1>Not that you're a troll, but here you are. You've

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<v Speaker 1>got the ovaries to face me.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm not a comment section control.

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<v Speaker 1>There we go, see you're well, here we go.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it, So what about me? Do you not dig?

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<v Speaker 6>So it was mostly I like, I already feel like

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<v Speaker 6>the growth has come, like you've you've shown.

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<v Speaker 2>It, and I'm happy about it.

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<v Speaker 6>My beef comes from season eleven with the whole Katie situation. Okay,

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<v Speaker 6>that broke my heart because I lived for you and

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<v Speaker 6>Katie's friendship.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought it was so real.

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<v Speaker 6>You guys were, as you said, truth tellers and you are.

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<v Speaker 6>And my favorite thing about you was season ten you

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<v Speaker 6>said sticks and stones, baby, sticks and stones, But I

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<v Speaker 6>don't go fuck your man. You don't do crazy shit.

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<v Speaker 6>You might say some crazy shit, but you don't do

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<v Speaker 6>it right. And I think that was where the beef

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<v Speaker 6>came from, because I feel like season eleven reunion, you

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<v Speaker 6>kind of came after Katie in that like Instagram kind

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<v Speaker 6>of DM feed feud of no one really knows the

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<v Speaker 6>real what was said. I was like, you guys are

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<v Speaker 6>really friends, why are you hitting her with the Scotcha moment?

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<v Speaker 6>Like you guys had actual conversations off camera, like you know,

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<v Speaker 6>beyond cast. I felt like you guys were real and

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<v Speaker 6>I was like, Lala, why are you going after Katie?

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<v Speaker 2>Like what is this?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, but you think it kind of breaks the fourth wall,

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<v Speaker 6>you being like I wasn't the only one frustrated with Ariana.

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<v Speaker 6>I wasn't the only one frustrated with how all of

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<v Speaker 6>this was playing out. And I want to show that

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<v Speaker 6>everybody else was frustrated too, right, But you stand so

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<v Speaker 6>strong on your own that I was like, Lalla, come

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<v Speaker 6>on girl, right.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I lost a lot of people on season

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<v Speaker 1>eleven and season ten. You have to remember, like, had

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<v Speaker 1>I not been right about Raquel and Tom, I would

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<v Speaker 1>have looked like a bitter woman, right, Like I just

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<v Speaker 1>got lucky, truly.

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<v Speaker 6>I think you sniffed that shit a mile away, though, oh.

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<v Speaker 1>I sniff it out all the time, right, And I

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<v Speaker 1>think it bothers people because cut to where we are now,

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<v Speaker 1>and people will be like, La, La says the same thing,

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<v Speaker 1>So and so's a narcissist. And I always say, put

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<v Speaker 1>a different type of person in front of me and

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<v Speaker 1>I'll have a different response. Season eleven, I was so

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<v Speaker 1>beaten down in my own life where I had to

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<v Speaker 1>come to terms with my reality. Where season ten I

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<v Speaker 1>was in it. I had adrenaline. I was ready to

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<v Speaker 1>fucking fight the fight. Season eleven was like, oh shit,

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<v Speaker 1>this is my reality and how do I come to

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<v Speaker 1>terms with this? So truth be told, I shouldn't have

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<v Speaker 1>gone back to season eleven. I should have focused on

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<v Speaker 1>my on my mental health and really coming to terms

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<v Speaker 1>with what my life was going to be like for

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<v Speaker 1>the long haul and with Katie.

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<v Speaker 2>I still to this and it took me.

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<v Speaker 1>It took me a while to get over it because

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<v Speaker 1>I had anger, but then I had shame and sadness,

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<v Speaker 1>and I had to work with my sponsor to pinpoint

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<v Speaker 1>all of these emotions and then say what did I do?

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<v Speaker 1>How do I clean my side of the street. But

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<v Speaker 1>I felt I felt abandoned by her, And that's my perspective,

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<v Speaker 1>that's my feeling.

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<v Speaker 2>That is not a fact. That's just me saying that.

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<v Speaker 1>I felt very isolated and like I was the only

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<v Speaker 1>one kind of saying things behind the scenes, but also

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<v Speaker 1>to the face. And so when I would get into

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<v Speaker 1>a group of people and everyone fell silent, I felt

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<v Speaker 1>so vulnerable and exposed and it just every nothing landed

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<v Speaker 1>Season eleven. I still am trying to recover from it

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<v Speaker 1>because it fucked me up. And I'm trying to get

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<v Speaker 1>my confidence back from season eleven. I've never cared what

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<v Speaker 1>people say about me. That was the first time where

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, I'm having an out

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<v Speaker 1>of body experience.

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<v Speaker 6>But like I will say, it's like, I dug it,

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<v Speaker 6>I understood your POV. That's why, like, with all the

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<v Speaker 6>shit that you've gone through in the past, I was

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<v Speaker 6>annoyed to watching season eleven. I was saying, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>Laala went through a lot of shit and was kind

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<v Speaker 6>of belittled by it by a lot of people on

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<v Speaker 6>that show. And then you know, Roles reversed. She's in

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<v Speaker 6>a situation that you're like, hey, this is a little

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<v Speaker 6>whacked up, like let's fix it for yourself, and everybody's

0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:30.719
<v Speaker 6>like lever be, lever be, and you're like, but I

0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.040
<v Speaker 6>see it. And then her coming in and being like,

0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.480
<v Speaker 6>it's not about you, it's not about your situation. I

0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:38.840
<v Speaker 6>was like, damn, Katie, Like she's just trying to relate,

0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:40.560
<v Speaker 6>and I think I get that. I think me and

0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.920
<v Speaker 6>you are I'm similar to you where I like to

0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.800
<v Speaker 6>relate to people, but I get you saying this. Now

0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.160
<v Speaker 6>I understand the abandonment because it's like you, it's the

0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.200
<v Speaker 6>truth Tellers. You were like, you're my girl.

0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:53.800
<v Speaker 2>You do this with me.

0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.800
<v Speaker 6>I can't do it alone right now? Yeah, And that

0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:58.800
<v Speaker 6>feels like where you were coming from. And you know

0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:00.840
<v Speaker 6>it kind of for me, the beef stem from like

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.199
<v Speaker 6>she forgave if she was sitting and talking to Sandibal,

0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:08.160
<v Speaker 6>why yeah, that garbage back? I know, no, but I mean,

0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.080
<v Speaker 6>you know, tell me if I could say this or not.

0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 6>I think it kind of broke the fourth wall of

0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:14.560
<v Speaker 6>you being like I need to secure my place here

0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.599
<v Speaker 6>and I want the show to continue. I don't know

0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.120
<v Speaker 6>if that's still like how you felt, but like maybe

0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:23.800
<v Speaker 6>you kind of leaned into that so like it worked

0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:24.439
<v Speaker 6>a little better.

0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Was that?

0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:25.240
<v Speaker 4>Maybe it?

0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:27.920
<v Speaker 1>So everyone was like, it's not Ariana's job to put

0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.920
<v Speaker 1>food on your table. And I think what I was trying,

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.720
<v Speaker 1>what I was trying to say, is that show vander

0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:40.760
<v Speaker 1>Pump Rules. Everything beyond it is because we're on vander

0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.640
<v Speaker 1>Pump Rules. So it had nothing to do with like

0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:48.560
<v Speaker 1>we need I need this show to pay my bills.

0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.840
<v Speaker 1>It was like everything, Can we for a moment not

0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.960
<v Speaker 1>act like we're too good for this stage because this

0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:59.160
<v Speaker 1>is what started it all. Can we like not forget

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:02.240
<v Speaker 1>where we've come from from. We can definitely grow beyond it,

0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:03.640
<v Speaker 1>but let's not shit on it.

0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:05.960
<v Speaker 2>I felt that, I felt that hardcore.

0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.640
<v Speaker 6>I felt like a lot of people were coming back

0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.640
<v Speaker 6>to just be like I don't need this, or I

0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.240
<v Speaker 6>don't want this, or my life's better off now, and

0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.240
<v Speaker 6>it's like, let's take a moment and remember where we

0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.479
<v Speaker 6>came from and how we got to this better.

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:20.720
<v Speaker 1>Life, right, And I wish that I could have conveyed

0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.760
<v Speaker 1>myself a little bit better, but I was so I

0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.760
<v Speaker 1>was so lost in my own emotions. I didn't I

0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:30.760
<v Speaker 1>was feeling things I had never felt before, and so

0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.120
<v Speaker 1>how I didn't know what to do with them. I

0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.720
<v Speaker 1>felt like a toddler who was feeling emotion for the

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:37.440
<v Speaker 1>first time, and then you just see them throwing a

0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 1>tantrum because they don't know.

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:41.920
<v Speaker 2>How to deal with it. That's how I felt.

0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.160
<v Speaker 6>I love that you recognize that, I really really do.

0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 6>It makes you such like a well rounded individual, and

0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 6>I get that. I do think that, Like in that season,

0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:51.079
<v Speaker 6>you admit it, and it was one of my favorite

0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.720
<v Speaker 6>interviews where you go, I have to practice forgiveness, and

0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:57.000
<v Speaker 6>I think it was that I think you had your

0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:01.360
<v Speaker 6>boxed up in of like I'm in Fitte modes and

0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.160
<v Speaker 6>like you just said it, it came all out and

0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:05.160
<v Speaker 6>I see that. I see that, and that's why I

0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:06.679
<v Speaker 6>think it broke my heart where I like had the

0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.560
<v Speaker 6>beef of like no, this doesn't seem like her, Like

0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.040
<v Speaker 6>I was screaming at the TV.

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:12.240
<v Speaker 2>Like this is my girl.

0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:12.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:15.440
<v Speaker 1>I think that was the first season I didn't feel

0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.880
<v Speaker 1>like myself, even in all the seasons where I was drinking,

0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Season eleven was the one time that I felt like

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:22.440
<v Speaker 1>a very wounded bird.

0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.920
<v Speaker 6>Oh now I get it, and that strength didn't come

0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 6>through I see it. I get it now, and like,

0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:29.920
<v Speaker 6>you know, I get it.

0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 1>I do.

0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:31.840
<v Speaker 6>And I hope you and Katie you can like get

0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:35.200
<v Speaker 6>back to a place of peace. You know, it depends

0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:38.160
<v Speaker 6>on whoever wants to have that relationship again. And yeah,

0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:41.120
<v Speaker 6>I just see you becoming a more peaceful person. And

0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:42.960
<v Speaker 6>like that's why I was like, I want to say

0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:43.600
<v Speaker 6>my beef to her.

0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:44.480
<v Speaker 2>I gotta let her know.

0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:46.040
<v Speaker 6>I want to hear her side.

0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:48.680
<v Speaker 1>And I'm so happy that you did. I like, I

0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.160
<v Speaker 1>have so much respect for you for coming on here.

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 2>You know. The trolls are loud in the comments section I.

0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:57.920
<v Speaker 1>Was like, we're going to be flooded with with dms

0:14:57.960 --> 0:14:58.640
<v Speaker 1>and emails.

0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, rickets, I'm like, I know they're out there.

0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:04.800
<v Speaker 2>So I really appreciate you.

0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:06.720
<v Speaker 1>I hope you have the best day, and thank you

0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:08.280
<v Speaker 1>so much for coming on my podcast.

0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.920
<v Speaker 6>Thank you, Lala. You are an angel and I am

0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.600
<v Speaker 6>so honored and blessed to be here. Many loves and

0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:14.200
<v Speaker 6>kisses to you.

0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:18.600
<v Speaker 2>Thank you you too, babe. Have the best day. Bye.

0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Hi Mollie, Hello Ala, Hi Gorge. How are we right good?

0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:35.080
<v Speaker 7>I had a take in a car. I'm actually a

0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:37.600
<v Speaker 7>first time mom. I'm very excited to talk to you.

0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:39.200
<v Speaker 2>Is the baby in the car?

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.160
<v Speaker 7>No, she's been side with her dad.

0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:44.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh, how amazing. Congratulations, thank you.

0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:46.840
<v Speaker 7>I just didn't want to wake her. She was asleep,

0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 7>so I was like, oh, speak in the car.

0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I love it. Okay.

0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 1>So you wrote in that you have a beef with

0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.920
<v Speaker 1>me or you don't like me, and I would love

0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:55.520
<v Speaker 1>to know why.

0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:57.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.520
<v Speaker 7>So I mean personally I do like you, okay, am

0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:05.440
<v Speaker 7>I my My beef with you would be like seeing

0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:11.160
<v Speaker 7>how a lot of your friendships unfold, So specifically, I

0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:15.080
<v Speaker 7>think as a big podcast fan, actually would be with

0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:16.680
<v Speaker 7>Jess Walters.

0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.400
<v Speaker 2>I know that there's not like yeah yeah, yeah yeah,

0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:21.560
<v Speaker 2>my old assistant.

0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:23.760
<v Speaker 7>I know there's not like a lot out there about

0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:28.840
<v Speaker 7>what happened. But as a mom, as a small business

0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:33.040
<v Speaker 7>owner who works with her friends as well, I just

0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 7>feel like, when you have that close of our relationship

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:39.280
<v Speaker 7>with someone, it sucks to see that you couldn't have

0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:43.120
<v Speaker 7>pushed forward to make that work continuously, whether on the

0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.720
<v Speaker 7>professional side or friendship side.

0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, I want to maintain her privacy, but it

0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:50.720
<v Speaker 1>was her.

0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.200
<v Speaker 2>It was her decision to leave.

0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:57.920
<v Speaker 1>There were things that she wanted in the moment that

0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:02.760
<v Speaker 1>for me, I couldn't give her right there, and at

0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:05.720
<v Speaker 1>some you know, I love and adore her and I

0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.120
<v Speaker 1>miss her so much. I literally texted her the other

0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:11.240
<v Speaker 1>day saying like, I hope you know that I love

0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:14.080
<v Speaker 1>you so much and I am so grateful for her.

0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:17.639
<v Speaker 1>It gets so sticky when you bring when you have

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.680
<v Speaker 1>such a closeness, but then you're also responsible for paying

0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:23.840
<v Speaker 1>that paying that person, and they're on your payroll. And

0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:26.879
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to give her the sun, the moon, and

0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.040
<v Speaker 1>the stars, but I also have to make sure that

0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:32.080
<v Speaker 1>like in the process of doing that, that the timing

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 1>is right, because I also have a family that I

0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:36.960
<v Speaker 1>have to, you know, make sure that they have food

0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:41.160
<v Speaker 1>on the table, and I wish it could have ended differently.

0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:44.679
<v Speaker 1>Timing is everything, but I still to this day like

0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.959
<v Speaker 1>she'll pop up on my phone and my heart just

0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:52.840
<v Speaker 1>feels so sad. And there are moments, babe, where I

0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:55.640
<v Speaker 1>look back on friendships and I do have to say,

0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, you are the problem in that, and then

0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.720
<v Speaker 1>there's nothing I can do about the timing was off,

0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:04.720
<v Speaker 1>my reaction may have been off, and it is sad,

0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:07.320
<v Speaker 1>but that's life. And I've always been someone who wants

0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:10.919
<v Speaker 1>to keep a very tight circle. I don't enjoy a

0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:14.600
<v Speaker 1>lot of people around me, and my psychic told me

0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.400
<v Speaker 1>that I have to burn bridges, and I'm.

0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:17.879
<v Speaker 2>Like, if I burn anymore, and just gonna be no

0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:18.399
<v Speaker 2>one left.

0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:25.560
<v Speaker 1>But from an outside perspective, if I were looking in

0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.439
<v Speaker 1>on me, I'd be like, this bitch is insane. She

0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:30.000
<v Speaker 1>like can't keep any friendships or relationships.

0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Like I get it.

0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:34.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm not looking at you thinking you're crazy. I definitely

0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.200
<v Speaker 1>have had my Taylor Swift moments of Hey, Hi, I'm

0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:37.679
<v Speaker 1>the problem.

0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:44.520
<v Speaker 2>It's me. It's something that I need to I can't.

0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.720
<v Speaker 1>Be all in so quickly, and I have to be

0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:49.679
<v Speaker 1>more transparent about what I can do and what I

0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.960
<v Speaker 1>can't do. So when I make new friends, I tell

0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 1>them I may not be the friend that you want

0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 1>because I'm not going to be texting you back all

0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:02.160
<v Speaker 1>the time. I'm not going to answer every phone like I.

0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:04.760
<v Speaker 1>That's just who I am. So if you're looking for

0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:07.840
<v Speaker 1>a best friend, like I'm like a friend, but I'm

0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.400
<v Speaker 1>also thirty five years old with babies. You're a new mom,

0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.040
<v Speaker 1>and you now know that your priorities are gonna shift a.

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:17.639
<v Speaker 2>Bit, right, Yes, definitely, Yeah, things are gonna be different.

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying that I handle things the right way,

0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:22.480
<v Speaker 1>but it is what it is. And I'm just so

0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:26.600
<v Speaker 1>thrilled that you like had the the ovaries to come

0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:29.199
<v Speaker 1>on the podcast and face me and tell me the

0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:29.840
<v Speaker 1>beef you have.

0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:30.879
<v Speaker 2>You're a bad bitch.

0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:34.880
<v Speaker 1>Of course I'm gonna let you go be with your

0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:36.840
<v Speaker 1>sleeping baby. Congratulations.

0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:38.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm wishing you all the best.

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:40.119
<v Speaker 7>Thank you so much for having me.

0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:44.560
<v Speaker 1>Of course, Bye, babe. Okay, that was actually very amazing.

0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:47.119
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't even want to say faced off

0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:50.920
<v Speaker 1>with three haters because they were actually like very productive

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:56.120
<v Speaker 1>conversations and honest, and I loved that. It all kind

0:19:56.160 --> 0:20:00.159
<v Speaker 1>of boils down to one thing. We liked you. But

0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:04.440
<v Speaker 1>season eleven you lost me and I became not a fan.

0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:08.480
<v Speaker 1>And I don't quite know how that makes me feel,

0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:11.639
<v Speaker 1>because actually I know exactly how it makes me feel.

0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:18.639
<v Speaker 1>It reminds me that although I'm on a TV show,

0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:24.080
<v Speaker 1>like the audience does very much put you in a box,

0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:30.120
<v Speaker 1>and when you're doing a TV show and then you

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:34.200
<v Speaker 1>kind of go home and you're with yourself, and cameras

0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:38.400
<v Speaker 1>are not capturing every single moment of your life, right

0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:45.040
<v Speaker 1>and season eleven, as you guys know it, I was

0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:49.800
<v Speaker 1>very much in a very very dark place. I had

0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:54.840
<v Speaker 1>told my agent a million in one times, I do

0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:57.560
<v Speaker 1>not want to go back. I am in a bad spot.

0:20:57.680 --> 0:21:01.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm in a bad place trying to wrap my head

0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:04.119
<v Speaker 1>around the fact that my life is my life, and

0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:09.600
<v Speaker 1>I have to accept that I was angry, I was depressed.

0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I was deeply saddened by just like what my reality was.

0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:17.639
<v Speaker 1>And then I was having to go in and film

0:21:17.680 --> 0:21:22.160
<v Speaker 1>a show and focus on other people and have feelings

0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:26.280
<v Speaker 1>about other people when I barely knew my own thoughts

0:21:26.320 --> 0:21:30.959
<v Speaker 1>about myself and my own life, and it was one

0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:35.320
<v Speaker 1>of the most difficult seasons I've ever filmed. And so

0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:38.959
<v Speaker 1>to hear that when I was in the darkest, most

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:43.000
<v Speaker 1>vulnerable place of my life, that's when people didn't like

0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:47.200
<v Speaker 1>me anymore, that's like really tough to hear because that was. Yes,

0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:52.240
<v Speaker 1>I could have handled it very differently with Katie, with Ariana,

0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.680
<v Speaker 1>but I can't go back, and I can't handle something

0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:59.880
<v Speaker 1>differently that I've never done before. There were so many

0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:02.480
<v Speaker 1>motions that I was feeling that I was like, what

0:22:02.720 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 1>is this. I literally felt like I was floundering. I

0:22:05.119 --> 0:22:07.439
<v Speaker 1>was in the middle of the ocean by myself, just

0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:10.399
<v Speaker 1>like praying to God that someone was going to rescue me.

0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:15.080
<v Speaker 1>I blew up my own spot. I shot myself in

0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:19.120
<v Speaker 1>the foot, But it was real, like what I went

0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:21.800
<v Speaker 1>and said, how I was feeling. What I went and did,

0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:24.840
<v Speaker 1>that was me doing the best that I could in

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 1>that moment. And if I lost people during that time,

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:31.960
<v Speaker 1>then you know, I have to be okay with that.

0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:36.480
<v Speaker 1>I truly believe that we're all here and our journeys

0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:38.800
<v Speaker 1>and our life story was written in the star as

0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:42.040
<v Speaker 1>well before we even got here, and I don't think

0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:47.000
<v Speaker 1>that there's any mistakes in life. And maybe that's just

0:22:47.040 --> 0:22:49.040
<v Speaker 1>what I have to tell myself in order to sleep

0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:55.439
<v Speaker 1>okay at night. But I've had to work very hard.

0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:57.960
<v Speaker 1>And it was just recently, and you have to remember

0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:01.680
<v Speaker 1>that that season was I think over two years ago.

0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:05.640
<v Speaker 1>It's taken me that long to somewhat regain a little

0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:12.120
<v Speaker 1>bit of confidence, regain some self worth, you know, it

0:23:12.200 --> 0:23:15.640
<v Speaker 1>to take me from, you know, the deepest, darkest place

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:17.720
<v Speaker 1>I think I've been in a very long time, and

0:23:17.760 --> 0:23:20.919
<v Speaker 1>then add the public's perception of me. I was in

0:23:20.960 --> 0:23:24.080
<v Speaker 1>a dark hole and I'm a crier by nature, but

0:23:24.200 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 1>this was like a deep sadness crying every day that

0:23:28.320 --> 0:23:30.520
<v Speaker 1>Easton and my mom had to like get me out of.

0:23:30.600 --> 0:23:34.879
<v Speaker 1>I had to avoid the internet. I was trying to

0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:38.040
<v Speaker 1>create a safe space for the baby that I had

0:23:38.080 --> 0:23:42.199
<v Speaker 1>wanted for a couple of years. At that point. It

0:23:42.320 --> 0:23:44.359
<v Speaker 1>was a funky place and if I could go back,

0:23:44.760 --> 0:23:50.439
<v Speaker 1>I would. And I'm not the same person, and I

0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 1>don't want to say that that's in a good way.

0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Like I it knocked me off my knocked me off.

0:23:56.920 --> 0:24:01.119
<v Speaker 1>My rocker, and I'm still trying to gain, you know,

0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:06.120
<v Speaker 1>some sort of identity of who I, you know, used

0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:08.600
<v Speaker 1>to be because now I second guess everything that comes

0:24:08.640 --> 0:24:11.080
<v Speaker 1>out of my mouth, right like, because I know it's

0:24:11.080 --> 0:24:13.320
<v Speaker 1>always going to go back to that like you did

0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:16.439
<v Speaker 1>this season eleven. I'm always going to be labeled a hypocrite.

0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:19.720
<v Speaker 1>And it's just intense and I'm trying to work through it.

0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:22.920
<v Speaker 1>So Cameron the first I don't even want to label

0:24:22.960 --> 0:24:25.879
<v Speaker 1>her as a hater. Who Cameron, who had beef with me,

0:24:25.920 --> 0:24:28.320
<v Speaker 1>said that I'm not a girl's girl, and I have

0:24:28.400 --> 0:24:30.440
<v Speaker 1>to be honest, you guys, and you're all gonna.

0:24:30.160 --> 0:24:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Come for me.

0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I fucking hate that term girls girl. None of us

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.240
<v Speaker 1>are following it. It puts a target on your back

0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:40.600
<v Speaker 1>when you label yourself a girl's girl, because that means

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:44.600
<v Speaker 1>you can never have beef with another woman. And I

0:24:44.600 --> 0:24:48.400
<v Speaker 1>don't know if I can say that I'm I do

0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:53.000
<v Speaker 1>feel like in this upcoming season of The Valley In

0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:58.600
<v Speaker 1>from my perspective, I think I'm a girl's girl.

0:24:58.640 --> 0:25:00.360
<v Speaker 2>But I also really.

0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:03.919
<v Speaker 1>We hate that term because none of us are following it,

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:07.440
<v Speaker 1>not even me. None of us are girls girls all right,

0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:09.760
<v Speaker 1>Because I have to be honest, The people who are

0:25:09.760 --> 0:25:11.359
<v Speaker 1>telling me I'm not a girl's girl in the comment

0:25:11.440 --> 0:25:14.760
<v Speaker 1>section are fucking dragging me to filth. So you're also

0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:18.040
<v Speaker 1>not a fucking girls girl bitch, Like everyone, shut the

0:25:18.080 --> 0:25:22.199
<v Speaker 1>fuck up, it doesn't exist. It puts a target on

0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:24.679
<v Speaker 1>your back. I don't want to be labeled that. I

0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:27.000
<v Speaker 1>don't want to claim it. I will say being a

0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:30.000
<v Speaker 1>woman is the hardest thing on the planet because we

0:25:30.240 --> 0:25:33.600
<v Speaker 1>don't have a safe space. We don't have a safe

0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:36.520
<v Speaker 1>space when it comes to toxic masculinity, which is alive

0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:39.440
<v Speaker 1>and well, and we don't have a safe space amongst

0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:45.160
<v Speaker 1>each other either. It's like every woman for themselves. And

0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:50.119
<v Speaker 1>I am a lone wolf. I am guarded, I am nervous,

0:25:50.200 --> 0:25:52.639
<v Speaker 1>I am scared. I am all these things that I

0:25:52.840 --> 0:25:56.720
<v Speaker 1>never in a million years thought that I would fucking be.

0:25:57.600 --> 0:26:01.400
<v Speaker 1>And I know, slowly but surely I will reclaim who

0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:04.760
<v Speaker 1>I am. But there's always no matter who you are,

0:26:04.840 --> 0:26:08.480
<v Speaker 1>there will always be a moment that you experience where

0:26:08.520 --> 0:26:11.600
<v Speaker 1>you're like, that moment changed who I am, and I

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:13.520
<v Speaker 1>don't know that I will ever be the same person.

0:26:15.440 --> 0:26:16.880
<v Speaker 2>Season eleven was one of those.

0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:21.399
<v Speaker 1>Moments, like my dad passing, of course, getting sober, of

0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:24.919
<v Speaker 1>course you're a different person, but like you learn to cope, right,

0:26:25.000 --> 0:26:28.640
<v Speaker 1>It's like it's a sadness, but there's something beautiful at

0:26:28.640 --> 0:26:32.640
<v Speaker 1>the end of it, like with the healing. With this,

0:26:33.320 --> 0:26:36.640
<v Speaker 1>there's nothing beautiful about it, like I'm always gonna have.

0:26:37.080 --> 0:26:39.560
<v Speaker 1>I have to wear it like a fucking scarlet letter.

0:26:39.760 --> 0:26:44.280
<v Speaker 1>It's suffocating, but I can't control other people, and I

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:46.640
<v Speaker 1>always say I can only control myself, so like, shake

0:26:46.720 --> 0:26:49.719
<v Speaker 1>it off, bitch. I have still had the hardest fucking

0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:56.280
<v Speaker 1>time shaking it off. So and how crazy I thought

0:26:56.320 --> 0:26:58.160
<v Speaker 1>that the haters would come on and have like all

0:26:58.200 --> 0:27:00.719
<v Speaker 1>sorts of things, and it always goes back to season eleven.

0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:03.879
<v Speaker 1>What I would give to go back in time and

0:27:03.960 --> 0:27:06.840
<v Speaker 1>have my team listen to me when I said, do

0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:12.199
<v Speaker 1>not send me back. I want out. I gotta focus

0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:12.800
<v Speaker 1>on myself.

0:27:15.040 --> 0:27:15.840
<v Speaker 2>Fuck you know.

0:27:16.080 --> 0:27:18.120
<v Speaker 1>It was a part of the journey and here we are.

0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:22.160
<v Speaker 1>So you guys, thank you for listening. If you want

0:27:22.160 --> 0:27:24.359
<v Speaker 1>to face off with me, your little fucking haters, I

0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:27.200
<v Speaker 1>would love to see your gorgeous faces, so make sure

0:27:27.240 --> 0:27:30.760
<v Speaker 1>you email slide in the DMS at untraditionally la la pod.

0:27:31.160 --> 0:27:32.560
<v Speaker 2>I can't wait to hear from you.

0:27:32.640 --> 0:27:35.119
<v Speaker 1>Don't just stay in the comments section like let's have

0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:37.120
<v Speaker 1>a face off. I love you, guys, and I'm gonna

0:27:37.119 --> 0:27:39.240
<v Speaker 1>catch you for the bonus on Monday and again next week.

0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:45.560
<v Speaker 2>Bye.