1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Hey, guys, 2 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: it is Lalakent. Welcome to Untraditionally Laala. Today we're doing 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: something very untraditional and having my haters on the podcast. 4 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: And I just have to put it out there that 5 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: I posted on Instagram that I was calling all haters 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: for a face off. I was very underwhelmed because a 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: lot of you are really fucking loud in the comments section, 8 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: but when it comes to wanting to talk to me 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: face to face, y'all run scared. It was. I mean, 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: I'm actually very excited because we picked three three haters 11 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: who had beef with Lalla and they're ready for a 12 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: face off. And by the way, they may not like me, 13 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,639 Speaker 1: but I got mad respect for them because I truly 14 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: I thought we were going to have an overwhelming amount 15 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: of haters that we're ready to go toes. But that's 16 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: why they call you trolls, because you stay in the holes. 17 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: Let's have our first hater. Cameron. 18 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, how. 19 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: Are you how I'm doing excellent. 20 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 2: I'm very excited about this. 21 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. Tell me your name Cameron, Cameron, and 22 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 1: where are you from? Denver, Denver, Colorado. Okay, I'm from Utah, 23 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: so yeah, like we're like right there. All right, So 24 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: you saw on Instagram that I was calling all haters 25 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: and you're going to be shocked by this, but I 26 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 1: didn't get very many. Really yeah, so I'm like, I 27 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: know that they're out there, but I don't know that 28 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,199 Speaker 1: they're willing to face me. So right off the bat, 29 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: I want to say that let's put some respect on 30 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: your name, because you fucking showed up. 31 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 2: I'm into it. 32 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: Let's just deep dive what about me makes you not 33 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: dig it? 34 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 3: Well? I used to be a huge fan, Okay, a 35 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 3: huge fan, like I listened to the Pods weekly, like 36 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 3: I was huge fan. 37 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 2: Your last season of vanderpumb. 38 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 3: Rules like just lost me, like lost me the energy 39 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 3: that you had, like at the Scandabal reunion, like going 40 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 3: after Sandoval and Raquel, Like I feel like it just 41 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 3: flipped during the last season, and you know, given I 42 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 3: know you were going through a lot, I just felt 43 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 3: like it was like not you and maybe you know, 44 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,119 Speaker 3: maybe it wasn't your thing, but like I just felt 45 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 3: like you weren't a girl's girl. You were being hypocritical, 46 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 3: and I just I feel like you just bet on 47 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 3: the wrong horse and you lost a lot of fans. 48 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 2: You know, I definitely you're absolutely right. 49 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: And I think if I could go back and pinpoint 50 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: my emotions and convey them the right way. I was 51 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: feeling a lot that like I didn't necessarily they were 52 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: feelings I hadn't felt before, right, And it was a 53 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 1: huge turn from like season ten going into season eleven, 54 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: and I think season ten I would have been labeled 55 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: very differently had I not been right. 56 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 4: Right. 57 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, So like that entire season, I was actually being 58 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: called like a scorned woman. I was angry, and then 59 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: I just happened to be right, so everybody put me 60 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: on a pedestal. Cut to we're going into season eleven. 61 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: My adrenaline has now faded. I'm very vulnerable, I'm emotional. 62 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 1: I'm sinking into the fact that like I have to 63 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: share my child and that's just it is what it is. 64 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: The fight is gone. I wish I could have gone 65 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: about it differently. I have a lot of regrets. I 66 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: have a lot of shame, But I don't think you're 67 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: alone and feeling that way about me. 68 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 5: Like your whole thing was like I don't want you 69 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 5: in my circle if you're communicating with Randall and like 70 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 5: I obviously there's a kit of ball, so it is 71 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 5: a little bit different. But like that, like cutthroat energy, 72 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 5: I feel like it should have been the same for. 73 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 2: All the other girls. 74 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: It should have been I should have been able to 75 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: take a step back and say, like, not everyone's healing 76 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: pross or situation is the same as mine, and whatever 77 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: you need in this moment, I need to have your 78 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: back and I didn't do that, however, getting the heat 79 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: that I. 80 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 2: Got on season eleven. 81 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: If I could go back, I don't know that I 82 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: would have given the two people who were responsible for 83 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 1: scan of all that much heat because it's intense. 84 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 3: Really yeah, hmm interesting, I like that. 85 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: Well we all did what a moment to be alive, right, No, 86 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: I did learn a lot And also like, I appreciate 87 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: you getting on here and being honest with me because 88 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 1: I know that you're not the only one. I feel 89 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: like I had a lot of people who really fucked 90 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: hard with me, and after that it was like, you 91 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: don't know what you stand for, and to be honest, 92 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,119 Speaker 1: I didn't in that moment. 93 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, and Sena like you like Shina like I hate 94 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 3: Shana and you. 95 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 2: You and like you. 96 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 5: Being for the Shina like I just was like no, like, no, 97 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 5: You're better than that. 98 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 3: Oh. 99 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: I know you don't like me, but I'm really digging you. 100 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: I love someone who can like come on here and 101 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: face me and be like, this is why I don't 102 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: fuck with you. You lost me and you picked the wrong horse, 103 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: and I do I want to. 104 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 3: Like you, but just the last season, we haven't seen 105 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 3: anything since then. I mean then it's like I just. 106 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you fucking nailed it with me. I 107 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: was a lost little soul. 108 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 2: I went into hiding. 109 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: I was just like wanting to be a mom and 110 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:32,119 Speaker 1: fall off the face of the earth. But hopefully I can. 111 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 1: I can regain your likeness too, I hope. 112 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 2: So on the Valley this season. 113 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 3: I'm hopeful. 114 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 2: I'm hopeful too. I really appreciate you. 115 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 5: Like fat, that like bulldog energy, like. 116 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 2: Sensitive. 117 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,559 Speaker 1: Now I've never in my life given one damn about 118 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: the comments section, and now I feel like any situation 119 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: I go into, I have an out of body experience, 120 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: like what will everyone think we're You've watched vander Pump. 121 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: I never cared what people thought. I know, I know, 122 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: all right, you've inspired me. I need that back, all right, 123 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: betch you got it? 124 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,720 Speaker 2: Am I gonna give them Lala again? What the fuck 125 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 2: is happening? 126 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 4: Yes? 127 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 2: And maybe you should do day James too. Oh no, 128 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 2: now you lost me. She wants a real throwback, Lallah, 129 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 2: doesn't she. I had a heyday with you. 130 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: I hope I can regain your likeness and I appreciate 131 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: the ovaries that you have coming onto this podcast. 132 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 2: Well, yes, we'll see. 133 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 3: Nice to meet too, and I hope I hope. 134 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: For some of that O g Lala all right because 135 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: you told me so, I'm gonna do it. 136 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 2: You got it. Thank you, Cam, have the best day. 137 00:06:45,680 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 4: You too, Bye bye bye, Well, hello, gorgeous? Well Hello, 138 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 4: Oh we brought the hoops out. 139 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 2: I love it for you anything and the purple? 140 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 6: Are you kidding me? 141 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 2: I love it? 142 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: Okay, So I have to tell you I put out 143 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: that thing on Instagram which was like calling all haters, 144 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: and I got like very little. So that either means 145 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: I have no haters, which we all know that ain't 146 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: true because I see him in the comments section. 147 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 2: Little fucking trols. 148 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: Not that you're a troll, but here you are. You've 149 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: got the ovaries to face me. 150 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 6: I'm not a comment section control. 151 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: There we go, see you're well, here we go. 152 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 2: I love it, So what about me? Do you not dig? 153 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 6: So it was mostly I like, I already feel like 154 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 6: the growth has come, like you've you've shown. 155 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 2: It, and I'm happy about it. 156 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 6: My beef comes from season eleven with the whole Katie situation. Okay, 157 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 6: that broke my heart because I lived for you and 158 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 6: Katie's friendship. 159 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 2: I thought it was so real. 160 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 6: You guys were, as you said, truth tellers and you are. 161 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 6: And my favorite thing about you was season ten you 162 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 6: said sticks and stones, baby, sticks and stones, But I 163 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 6: don't go fuck your man. You don't do crazy shit. 164 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 6: You might say some crazy shit, but you don't do 165 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 6: it right. And I think that was where the beef 166 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 6: came from, because I feel like season eleven reunion, you 167 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 6: kind of came after Katie in that like Instagram kind 168 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 6: of DM feed feud of no one really knows the 169 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 6: real what was said. I was like, you guys are 170 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 6: really friends, why are you hitting her with the Scotcha moment? 171 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 6: Like you guys had actual conversations off camera, like you know, 172 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 6: beyond cast. I felt like you guys were real and 173 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 6: I was like, Lala, why are you going after Katie? 174 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,719 Speaker 2: Like what is this? 175 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 6: Yeah, but you think it kind of breaks the fourth wall, 176 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 6: you being like I wasn't the only one frustrated with Ariana. 177 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 6: I wasn't the only one frustrated with how all of 178 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 6: this was playing out. And I want to show that 179 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 6: everybody else was frustrated too, right, But you stand so 180 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 6: strong on your own that I was like, Lalla, come 181 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 6: on girl, right. 182 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: I think I lost a lot of people on season 183 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: eleven and season ten. You have to remember, like, had 184 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: I not been right about Raquel and Tom, I would 185 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: have looked like a bitter woman, right, Like I just 186 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 1: got lucky, truly. 187 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 6: I think you sniffed that shit a mile away, though, oh. 188 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 1: I sniff it out all the time, right, And I 189 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: think it bothers people because cut to where we are now, 190 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: and people will be like, La, La says the same thing, 191 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: So and so's a narcissist. And I always say, put 192 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: a different type of person in front of me and 193 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: I'll have a different response. Season eleven, I was so 194 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 1: beaten down in my own life where I had to 195 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: come to terms with my reality. Where season ten I 196 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: was in it. I had adrenaline. I was ready to 197 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: fucking fight the fight. Season eleven was like, oh shit, 198 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: this is my reality and how do I come to 199 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,559 Speaker 1: terms with this? So truth be told, I shouldn't have 200 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,439 Speaker 1: gone back to season eleven. I should have focused on 201 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,559 Speaker 1: my on my mental health and really coming to terms 202 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: with what my life was going to be like for 203 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: the long haul and with Katie. 204 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 2: I still to this and it took me. 205 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 1: It took me a while to get over it because 206 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: I had anger, but then I had shame and sadness, 207 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: and I had to work with my sponsor to pinpoint 208 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: all of these emotions and then say what did I do? 209 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 1: How do I clean my side of the street. But 210 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: I felt I felt abandoned by her, And that's my perspective, 211 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: that's my feeling. 212 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 2: That is not a fact. That's just me saying that. 213 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: I felt very isolated and like I was the only 214 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: one kind of saying things behind the scenes, but also 215 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: to the face. And so when I would get into 216 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: a group of people and everyone fell silent, I felt 217 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: so vulnerable and exposed and it just every nothing landed 218 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: Season eleven. I still am trying to recover from it 219 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: because it fucked me up. And I'm trying to get 220 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: my confidence back from season eleven. I've never cared what 221 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 1: people say about me. That was the first time where 222 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm having an out 223 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: of body experience. 224 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 6: But like I will say, it's like, I dug it, 225 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 6: I understood your POV. That's why, like, with all the 226 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 6: shit that you've gone through in the past, I was 227 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 6: annoyed to watching season eleven. I was saying, you know, 228 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 6: Laala went through a lot of shit and was kind 229 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 6: of belittled by it by a lot of people on 230 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 6: that show. And then you know, Roles reversed. She's in 231 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 6: a situation that you're like, hey, this is a little 232 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 6: whacked up, like let's fix it for yourself, and everybody's 233 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,719 Speaker 6: like lever be, lever be, and you're like, but I 234 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 6: see it. And then her coming in and being like, 235 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 6: it's not about you, it's not about your situation. I 236 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 6: was like, damn, Katie, Like she's just trying to relate, 237 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 6: and I think I get that. I think me and 238 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 6: you are I'm similar to you where I like to 239 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 6: relate to people, but I get you saying this. Now 240 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 6: I understand the abandonment because it's like you, it's the 241 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 6: truth Tellers. You were like, you're my girl. 242 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 2: You do this with me. 243 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 6: I can't do it alone right now? Yeah, And that 244 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 6: feels like where you were coming from. And you know 245 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,840 Speaker 6: it kind of for me, the beef stem from like 246 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,199 Speaker 6: she forgave if she was sitting and talking to Sandibal, 247 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 6: why yeah, that garbage back? I know, no, but I mean, 248 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 6: you know, tell me if I could say this or not. 249 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 6: I think it kind of broke the fourth wall of 250 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 6: you being like I need to secure my place here 251 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,599 Speaker 6: and I want the show to continue. I don't know 252 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 6: if that's still like how you felt, but like maybe 253 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 6: you kind of leaned into that so like it worked 254 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:24,439 Speaker 6: a little better. 255 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: Was that? 256 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 4: Maybe it? 257 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: So everyone was like, it's not Ariana's job to put 258 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: food on your table. And I think what I was trying, 259 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 1: what I was trying to say, is that show vander 260 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: Pump Rules. Everything beyond it is because we're on vander 261 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: Pump Rules. So it had nothing to do with like 262 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: we need I need this show to pay my bills. 263 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: It was like everything, Can we for a moment not 264 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: act like we're too good for this stage because this 265 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: is what started it all. Can we like not forget 266 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: where we've come from from. We can definitely grow beyond it, 267 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: but let's not shit on it. 268 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 2: I felt that, I felt that hardcore. 269 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 6: I felt like a lot of people were coming back 270 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 6: to just be like I don't need this, or I 271 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 6: don't want this, or my life's better off now, and 272 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 6: it's like, let's take a moment and remember where we 273 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,479 Speaker 6: came from and how we got to this better. 274 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 1: Life, right, And I wish that I could have conveyed 275 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: myself a little bit better, but I was so I 276 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: was so lost in my own emotions. I didn't I 277 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: was feeling things I had never felt before, and so 278 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: how I didn't know what to do with them. I 279 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 1: felt like a toddler who was feeling emotion for the 280 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 1: first time, and then you just see them throwing a 281 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: tantrum because they don't know. 282 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 2: How to deal with it. That's how I felt. 283 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 6: I love that you recognize that, I really really do. 284 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 6: It makes you such like a well rounded individual, and 285 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 6: I get that. I do think that, Like in that season, 286 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 6: you admit it, and it was one of my favorite 287 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 6: interviews where you go, I have to practice forgiveness, and 288 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 6: I think it was that I think you had your 289 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 6: boxed up in of like I'm in Fitte modes and 290 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 6: like you just said it, it came all out and 291 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 6: I see that. I see that, and that's why I 292 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,679 Speaker 6: think it broke my heart where I like had the 293 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 6: beef of like no, this doesn't seem like her, Like 294 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 6: I was screaming at the TV. 295 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 2: Like this is my girl. 296 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. 297 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: I think that was the first season I didn't feel 298 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: like myself, even in all the seasons where I was drinking, 299 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: Season eleven was the one time that I felt like 300 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: a very wounded bird. 301 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 6: Oh now I get it, and that strength didn't come 302 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 6: through I see it. I get it now, and like, 303 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 6: you know, I get it. 304 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: I do. 305 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 6: And I hope you and Katie you can like get 306 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 6: back to a place of peace. You know, it depends 307 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 6: on whoever wants to have that relationship again. And yeah, 308 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 6: I just see you becoming a more peaceful person. And 309 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 6: like that's why I was like, I want to say 310 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 6: my beef to her. 311 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: I gotta let her know. 312 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 6: I want to hear her side. 313 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: And I'm so happy that you did. I like, I 314 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: have so much respect for you for coming on here. 315 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 2: You know. The trolls are loud in the comments section I. 316 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: Was like, we're going to be flooded with with dms 317 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: and emails. 318 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 2: I was like, rickets, I'm like, I know they're out there. 319 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 2: So I really appreciate you. 320 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: I hope you have the best day, and thank you 321 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: so much for coming on my podcast. 322 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 6: Thank you, Lala. You are an angel and I am 323 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 6: so honored and blessed to be here. Many loves and 324 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 6: kisses to you. 325 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 2: Thank you you too, babe. Have the best day. Bye. 326 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 2: Hi Mollie, Hello Ala, Hi Gorge. How are we right good? 327 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 7: I had a take in a car. I'm actually a 328 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 7: first time mom. I'm very excited to talk to you. 329 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 2: Is the baby in the car? 330 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 7: No, she's been side with her dad. 331 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 2: Oh, how amazing. Congratulations, thank you. 332 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 7: I just didn't want to wake her. She was asleep, 333 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 7: so I was like, oh, speak in the car. 334 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. Okay. 335 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: So you wrote in that you have a beef with 336 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: me or you don't like me, and I would love 337 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: to know why. 338 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 339 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 7: So I mean personally I do like you, okay, am 340 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 7: I my My beef with you would be like seeing 341 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 7: how a lot of your friendships unfold, So specifically, I 342 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 7: think as a big podcast fan, actually would be with 343 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 7: Jess Walters. 344 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 2: I know that there's not like yeah yeah, yeah yeah, 345 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 2: my old assistant. 346 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 7: I know there's not like a lot out there about 347 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 7: what happened. But as a mom, as a small business 348 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 7: owner who works with her friends as well, I just 349 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 7: feel like, when you have that close of our relationship 350 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 7: with someone, it sucks to see that you couldn't have 351 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 7: pushed forward to make that work continuously, whether on the 352 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 7: professional side or friendship side. 353 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: You know, I want to maintain her privacy, but it 354 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: was her. 355 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 2: It was her decision to leave. 356 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: There were things that she wanted in the moment that 357 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: for me, I couldn't give her right there, and at 358 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: some you know, I love and adore her and I 359 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: miss her so much. I literally texted her the other 360 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: day saying like, I hope you know that I love 361 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: you so much and I am so grateful for her. 362 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 1: It gets so sticky when you bring when you have 363 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: such a closeness, but then you're also responsible for paying 364 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: that paying that person, and they're on your payroll. And 365 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: I wanted to give her the sun, the moon, and 366 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: the stars, but I also have to make sure that 367 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: like in the process of doing that, that the timing 368 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: is right, because I also have a family that I 369 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: have to, you know, make sure that they have food 370 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,160 Speaker 1: on the table, and I wish it could have ended differently. 371 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 1: Timing is everything, but I still to this day like 372 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,959 Speaker 1: she'll pop up on my phone and my heart just 373 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: feels so sad. And there are moments, babe, where I 374 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,640 Speaker 1: look back on friendships and I do have to say, 375 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: you know, you are the problem in that, and then 376 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do about the timing was off, 377 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: my reaction may have been off, and it is sad, 378 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: but that's life. And I've always been someone who wants 379 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 1: to keep a very tight circle. I don't enjoy a 380 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: lot of people around me, and my psychic told me 381 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: that I have to burn bridges, and I'm. 382 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,879 Speaker 2: Like, if I burn anymore, and just gonna be no 383 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:18,399 Speaker 2: one left. 384 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: But from an outside perspective, if I were looking in 385 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,439 Speaker 1: on me, I'd be like, this bitch is insane. She 386 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: like can't keep any friendships or relationships. 387 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 2: Like I get it. 388 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: I'm not looking at you thinking you're crazy. I definitely 389 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: have had my Taylor Swift moments of Hey, Hi, I'm 390 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 1: the problem. 391 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 2: It's me. It's something that I need to I can't. 392 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 1: Be all in so quickly, and I have to be 393 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,679 Speaker 1: more transparent about what I can do and what I 394 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 1: can't do. So when I make new friends, I tell 395 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: them I may not be the friend that you want 396 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: because I'm not going to be texting you back all 397 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 1: the time. I'm not going to answer every phone like I. 398 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: That's just who I am. So if you're looking for 399 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: a best friend, like I'm like a friend, but I'm 400 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 1: also thirty five years old with babies. You're a new mom, 401 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: and you now know that your priorities are gonna shift a. 402 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:17,639 Speaker 2: Bit, right, Yes, definitely, Yeah, things are gonna be different. 403 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that I handle things the right way, 404 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: but it is what it is. And I'm just so 405 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: thrilled that you like had the the ovaries to come 406 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,199 Speaker 1: on the podcast and face me and tell me the 407 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: beef you have. 408 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 2: You're a bad bitch. 409 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,880 Speaker 1: Of course I'm gonna let you go be with your 410 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 1: sleeping baby. Congratulations. 411 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 2: I'm wishing you all the best. 412 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 7: Thank you so much for having me. 413 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: Of course, Bye, babe. Okay, that was actually very amazing. 414 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 1: I just I don't even want to say faced off 415 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 1: with three haters because they were actually like very productive 416 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:56,120 Speaker 1: conversations and honest, and I loved that. It all kind 417 00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,159 Speaker 1: of boils down to one thing. We liked you. But 418 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: season eleven you lost me and I became not a fan. 419 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: And I don't quite know how that makes me feel, 420 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 1: because actually I know exactly how it makes me feel. 421 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:18,639 Speaker 1: It reminds me that although I'm on a TV show, 422 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: like the audience does very much put you in a box, 423 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: and when you're doing a TV show and then you 424 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 1: kind of go home and you're with yourself, and cameras 425 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:38,400 Speaker 1: are not capturing every single moment of your life, right 426 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: and season eleven, as you guys know it, I was 427 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: very much in a very very dark place. I had 428 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: told my agent a million in one times, I do 429 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 1: not want to go back. I am in a bad spot. 430 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: I'm in a bad place trying to wrap my head 431 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,119 Speaker 1: around the fact that my life is my life, and 432 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: I have to accept that I was angry, I was depressed. 433 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 1: I was deeply saddened by just like what my reality was. 434 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: And then I was having to go in and film 435 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:22,160 Speaker 1: a show and focus on other people and have feelings 436 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: about other people when I barely knew my own thoughts 437 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:30,959 Speaker 1: about myself and my own life, and it was one 438 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: of the most difficult seasons I've ever filmed. And so 439 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,959 Speaker 1: to hear that when I was in the darkest, most 440 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: vulnerable place of my life, that's when people didn't like 441 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 1: me anymore, that's like really tough to hear because that was. Yes, 442 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: I could have handled it very differently with Katie, with Ariana, 443 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,680 Speaker 1: but I can't go back, and I can't handle something 444 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 1: differently that I've never done before. There were so many 445 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: motions that I was feeling that I was like, what 446 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: is this. I literally felt like I was floundering. I 447 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,439 Speaker 1: was in the middle of the ocean by myself, just 448 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 1: like praying to God that someone was going to rescue me. 449 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 1: I blew up my own spot. I shot myself in 450 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:19,120 Speaker 1: the foot, But it was real, like what I went 451 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: and said, how I was feeling. What I went and did, 452 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: that was me doing the best that I could in 453 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 1: that moment. And if I lost people during that time, 454 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 1: then you know, I have to be okay with that. 455 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,480 Speaker 1: I truly believe that we're all here and our journeys 456 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 1: and our life story was written in the star as 457 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: well before we even got here, and I don't think 458 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: that there's any mistakes in life. And maybe that's just 459 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 1: what I have to tell myself in order to sleep 460 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:55,439 Speaker 1: okay at night. But I've had to work very hard. 461 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: And it was just recently, and you have to remember 462 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,680 Speaker 1: that that season was I think over two years ago. 463 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,640 Speaker 1: It's taken me that long to somewhat regain a little 464 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: bit of confidence, regain some self worth, you know, it 465 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: to take me from, you know, the deepest, darkest place 466 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: I think I've been in a very long time, and 467 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 1: then add the public's perception of me. I was in 468 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 1: a dark hole and I'm a crier by nature, but 469 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: this was like a deep sadness crying every day that 470 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: Easton and my mom had to like get me out of. 471 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: I had to avoid the internet. I was trying to 472 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 1: create a safe space for the baby that I had 473 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 1: wanted for a couple of years. At that point. It 474 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: was a funky place and if I could go back, 475 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:50,439 Speaker 1: I would. And I'm not the same person, and I 476 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: don't want to say that that's in a good way. 477 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 2: Like I it knocked me off my knocked me off. 478 00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:01,119 Speaker 1: My rocker, and I'm still trying to gain, you know, 479 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:06,120 Speaker 1: some sort of identity of who I, you know, used 480 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: to be because now I second guess everything that comes 481 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 1: out of my mouth, right like, because I know it's 482 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 1: always going to go back to that like you did 483 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,439 Speaker 1: this season eleven. I'm always going to be labeled a hypocrite. 484 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: And it's just intense and I'm trying to work through it. 485 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 1: So Cameron the first I don't even want to label 486 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: her as a hater. Who Cameron, who had beef with me, 487 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: said that I'm not a girl's girl, and I have 488 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 1: to be honest, you guys, and you're all gonna. 489 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 2: Come for me. 490 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: I fucking hate that term girls girl. None of us 491 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 1: are following it. It puts a target on your back 492 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: when you label yourself a girl's girl, because that means 493 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: you can never have beef with another woman. And I 494 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,400 Speaker 1: don't know if I can say that I'm I do 495 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 1: feel like in this upcoming season of The Valley In 496 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 1: from my perspective, I think I'm a girl's girl. 497 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,360 Speaker 2: But I also really. 498 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,919 Speaker 1: We hate that term because none of us are following it, 499 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 1: not even me. None of us are girls girls all right, 500 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 1: Because I have to be honest, The people who are 501 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 1: telling me I'm not a girl's girl in the comment 502 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: section are fucking dragging me to filth. So you're also 503 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 1: not a fucking girls girl bitch, Like everyone, shut the 504 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:22,199 Speaker 1: fuck up, it doesn't exist. It puts a target on 505 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,679 Speaker 1: your back. I don't want to be labeled that. I 506 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: don't want to claim it. I will say being a 507 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: woman is the hardest thing on the planet because we 508 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 1: don't have a safe space. We don't have a safe 509 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: space when it comes to toxic masculinity, which is alive 510 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 1: and well, and we don't have a safe space amongst 511 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: each other either. It's like every woman for themselves. And 512 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:50,119 Speaker 1: I am a lone wolf. I am guarded, I am nervous, 513 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 1: I am scared. I am all these things that I 514 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 1: never in a million years thought that I would fucking be. 515 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,400 Speaker 1: And I know, slowly but surely I will reclaim who 516 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: I am. But there's always no matter who you are, 517 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 1: there will always be a moment that you experience where 518 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 1: you're like, that moment changed who I am, and I 519 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 1: don't know that I will ever be the same person. 520 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 2: Season eleven was one of those. 521 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 1: Moments, like my dad passing, of course, getting sober, of 522 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,919 Speaker 1: course you're a different person, but like you learn to cope, right, 523 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,640 Speaker 1: It's like it's a sadness, but there's something beautiful at 524 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,640 Speaker 1: the end of it, like with the healing. With this, 525 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,640 Speaker 1: there's nothing beautiful about it, like I'm always gonna have. 526 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: I have to wear it like a fucking scarlet letter. 527 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 1: It's suffocating, but I can't control other people, and I 528 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 1: always say I can only control myself, so like, shake 529 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,719 Speaker 1: it off, bitch. I have still had the hardest fucking 530 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 1: time shaking it off. So and how crazy I thought 531 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 1: that the haters would come on and have like all 532 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,719 Speaker 1: sorts of things, and it always goes back to season eleven. 533 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,879 Speaker 1: What I would give to go back in time and 534 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: have my team listen to me when I said, do 535 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:12,199 Speaker 1: not send me back. I want out. I gotta focus 536 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: on myself. 537 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 2: Fuck you know. 538 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: It was a part of the journey and here we are. 539 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,160 Speaker 1: So you guys, thank you for listening. If you want 540 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: to face off with me, your little fucking haters, I 541 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,200 Speaker 1: would love to see your gorgeous faces, so make sure 542 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: you email slide in the DMS at untraditionally la la pod. 543 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you. 544 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,119 Speaker 1: Don't just stay in the comments section like let's have 545 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,120 Speaker 1: a face off. I love you, guys, and I'm gonna 546 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: catch you for the bonus on Monday and again next week. 547 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 2: Bye.