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Speaker 1: Andrew Martinez in Real Life Podcast. Hey guys, welcome back

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Speaker 1: to a new season of IRL. I am thrilled to

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Speaker 1: be back. I have absolutely missed our interaction, our conversations.

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Speaker 1: It's not just my conversation with the guests. I enjoy

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Speaker 1: the conversation that happens after. So I've definitely been missing that.

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Speaker 1: There's been a lot happening in the world. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: there's been. Everybody's in real life has been going through

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Speaker 1: ups and downs, and the world has changed. The country

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Speaker 1: has changed, People have gone through trauma, grief, joy, new experiences,

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Speaker 1: new jobs. I think just life keeps ticking and it

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Speaker 1: requires us to pivot at every turn. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's going to be a really big theme this season

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Speaker 1: is talking to people who've had to pivot, whether it

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Speaker 1: was by choice or by circumstance. And so my first

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Speaker 1: guests I've known for many years, Lauren riding Ger. Let

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Speaker 1: me tell you first of all, this is her new book,

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Speaker 1: Scrambled or Sunnyside Up, and it's about her journey after

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Speaker 1: losing her husband for many years, but also her partner.

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Speaker 1: Lauren is the CEO of Market America Worldwide and shop

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Speaker 1: dot Com. Her and her husband together built a billion

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Speaker 1: dollar commerce business. She's had a lot of success in

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Speaker 1: her life. There is a lot to learn from Lauren.

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Speaker 1: Click the link in the description to get Lauren's book Today,

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Speaker 1: The Amazing Lauren writing, Girl, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Here we are, baby. What a year, What a big

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Speaker 2: year for both of us. It's been a long up

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Speaker 2: and down, a long up and down roller coaster over rides.

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Speaker 2: You know, we both go through changes and life changes

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Speaker 2: and the world changes.

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Speaker 1: And it's funny because I was saying this before that pivoting.

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Speaker 1: I think the pivot is the actual theme of this

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Speaker 1: first season back of this podcast, because I've had to

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Speaker 1: so many times. First of all, Lauren, is the story

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Speaker 1: of you is like, you have this amazing love story.

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Speaker 3: It's an American dream, right.

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Speaker 1: You meet the love of your life, you have a

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Speaker 1: thirty plus year marriage, you build an empire, a billion

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Speaker 1: dollar empire, and then you suffer great.

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Speaker 2: Loss, the greatest loss, the greatest loss. But I think

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Speaker 2: it's a beautiful story of love. Thirty six years is

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Speaker 2: a long journey, you know, and we met with nothing,

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Speaker 2: We had nothing. I know. People assume that you came

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Speaker 2: for money. Oh, people assume you're the gold digger. You

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Speaker 2: wanted it all and you're like, no, baby, yeah, because

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Speaker 2: he had nothing when you met, right when you say

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Speaker 2: nothing is nothing. We borrowed macaroni and cheese from my

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Speaker 2: mom and dad. We rode around in his beat up

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Speaker 2: tourists for turists.

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Speaker 3: So what was it? He was broke, he was older

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Speaker 3: than you. Why did you think?

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Speaker 2: I just fell in love with him?

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Speaker 3: And you know, he was in the streets.

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Speaker 2: He was in the streets. He was messy, and he

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Speaker 2: was messy. He wasn't even clean.

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Speaker 3: About you know what I mean, honest about.

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Speaker 2: I know he lied like a dem We lied. He

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Speaker 2: come out and I put him in the corner and

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Speaker 2: come out fighting, you know. But he had just come

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Speaker 2: out of a marriage, he'd filed bankruptcy. You know, he

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Speaker 2: didn't have anything. And I just saw this person who

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Speaker 2: I was intrigued by. He just saw the futures, like

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Speaker 2: one day for the mall without walls. That's the world

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Speaker 2: by that way, his vision, that was his vision.

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Speaker 3: It's crazy now I'm thinking, of course you shop online.

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Speaker 2: But then people looked at when were They thought we

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Speaker 2: were crazy. They thought we were saying I have computers.

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Speaker 2: They didn't have computers, and I just really believed in

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Speaker 2: everything he said, and he really made me believe in me.

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Speaker 2: And that's really what the book's about. It's about it's

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Speaker 2: not even a book of grief because I couldn't give

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Speaker 2: someone the answer and how to overcome grief.

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Speaker 1: I have so many questions about grief and you and

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Speaker 1: and it is a large part of the book too.

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Speaker 3: You know, you really do talk about it, but I

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Speaker 3: just don't want to go back.

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Speaker 1: To the beginning a little bit because you talk about

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Speaker 1: just the love story of it. All Right, you're thirty,

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Speaker 1: You meet this guy. He does change for you, which

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Speaker 1: is not a small thing. There were women that is

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Speaker 1: the big thing in their life. It's like, you meet

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Speaker 1: a guy, you really like him, but he has all

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Speaker 1: these women. How do you know that he will change?

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Speaker 3: How do you know?

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Speaker 2: I saw him coming around all the time. I saw

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Speaker 2: just believe you know, he wasn't perfect, and I knew it.

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Speaker 2: And I always knew when he was lying. You know,

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Speaker 2: I was really good at catching his lives. But when

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Speaker 2: he was trying to change, I could see it too.

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Speaker 2: He always knew how to talk to me. He always

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Speaker 2: would tell me, like, I'm not perfect. I want to

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Speaker 2: be perfect. For you, but I'm not honest about the change.

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Speaker 2: He was honest that he was working on it. And

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Speaker 2: that was a lot for me. And I think doing

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Speaker 2: the work is part of the problem that most people

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Speaker 2: won't do. He was willing to do the work. And

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Speaker 2: I used to tell me, I only know how to

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Speaker 2: operate from love. Where do we go from here? How

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Speaker 2: do we survive in this relationship if I'm the one

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Speaker 2: coming in and putting all the love in and I

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Speaker 2: feel like you were taking advantage of it. And I

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Speaker 2: think he didn't want to lose that. And I think

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Speaker 2: he realized like he had just come close enough to

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Speaker 2: the fine line of I could have left, and you know,

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Speaker 2: I was at that point, I was probably twenty or

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Speaker 2: twenty one, you know, And he did not want to

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Speaker 2: lose that. And he really put in the time and

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Speaker 2: the energy and the work, and I would see him

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Speaker 2: working on himself.

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Speaker 3: I think ultimately you believed in him. That's the difference.

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Speaker 1: It's like everything you believed, not only that he was

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Speaker 1: gonna build this empire together, that you guys were gonna

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Speaker 1: do that, but you believed that he was going to

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Speaker 1: show up for you as the husband that you that.

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Speaker 2: He could be believed that I was incredibly special.

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Speaker 3: He believed in you too, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: He did. And you know, we used to drive all

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Speaker 2: around town, all around the United States, and he would

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Speaker 2: tell everybody, one day, we're gonna have them all without

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Speaker 2: walls and people. There be four or five people in

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Speaker 2: a room, not like today where we have eighteen twenty

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Speaker 2: thousand people in a meeting to come see a speed

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Speaker 2: But he would, you know, go into these meetings five

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Speaker 2: or six people, and we drive from city to city

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Speaker 2: across the nation to tell people, hey, you should join

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Speaker 2: our business, you know, and get involved with Market America.

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Speaker 2: And they would look at him like he was crazy,

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Speaker 2: because they're like, who's going to go we don't have computers,

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Speaker 2: who's going to shop online? And you know, he would

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Speaker 2: come out of the meeting like Rocky, like we we

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Speaker 2: killed it, we were awesome. I was like, I'm not

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Speaker 2: sure if they agreed with us. They look at us

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Speaker 2: like we're crazy, and he'd say, what do you think?

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Speaker 2: What do you think? Do you believe in us? I said,

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Speaker 2: of course I believe. He said, then you do the

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Speaker 2: meeting tomorrow. I was like, I can't do the meeting tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: At eighteen, I don't know how to speak. You know,

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Speaker 2: most people are scared of death of public speaking. I was.

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Speaker 2: But in order for him to believe that, I believed

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Speaker 2: he wanted me to do it, I got up and

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Speaker 2: I said Hi, my name is Lauren Ashley. And I fainted.

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Speaker 2: I'm actually seven people. I fainted first time speaking publicly.

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Speaker 2: I was traumatized and I was on the ground and

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Speaker 2: when I looked up there was people over fanning me,

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Speaker 2: you know, and he was like, get up, get up.

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Speaker 2: Somebody turned the ac off. Anybody would have fainted in here.

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Speaker 2: You were incredible. Get up. And I thought, I've got

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Speaker 2: to break up with this guy. And he got in

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Speaker 2: the car and I was so embarrassed. I didn't say

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Speaker 2: anything and said, you know, you were amazing, right, I

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Speaker 2: was like, I was awful. I fainted. He goes, you

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Speaker 2: were great. It was San Antonio. It was ninety two

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Speaker 2: degrees and hot, and anybody would have passed out. You're

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Speaker 2: going to be great in Houston tomorrow. And I thought,

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Speaker 2: can you not just get in the car and say

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Speaker 2: you don't have to do this. He didn't get in

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Speaker 2: the car and say, you know what, You're right, you're

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Speaker 2: not good at public speaking. You just drive. He said,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna be great again. And I did it over

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Speaker 2: and over and over again until I became really great

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Speaker 2: at it. And I really didn't attribute that to him

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Speaker 2: until I lost him.

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Speaker 1: What was the thing in you to take you back

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Speaker 1: to like that moment of like, because I think I

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Speaker 1: think that's something that a lot of people can relate to,

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Speaker 1: is like you get cald, you get an opportunity. And

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Speaker 1: so now you're dating, you're young, you're dating this guy.

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Speaker 1: He's trying to build something. You don't know what this

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Speaker 1: thing is that he's gonna build. You don't you don't,

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Speaker 1: but you're presented with an opportunity to be a version

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Speaker 1: of yourself that you don't even believe it yet.

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Speaker 3: How to be You're going to speak in front of people.

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Speaker 1: You're like, I didn't plan to do this, but you

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Speaker 1: have this opportunity now to rise. You faint and then

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Speaker 1: somebody's there to say.

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Speaker 2: Hey, get back up.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. I just had this happened to me

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Speaker 3: in the third grade. I did a play.

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Speaker 1: I cried because I was so scared, and my third

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Speaker 1: grade teacher said to me.

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Speaker 3: You're okay. He waited, he said, now start again. He

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Speaker 3: didn't let me go off to.

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Speaker 2: The thing, say step aside.

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Speaker 1: He didn't say step aside, go to the next thing.

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Speaker 1: And then then I killed it. And the next day

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Speaker 1: he came into school and tapped me on the shoulder

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Speaker 1: and said, me and my wife were talking about you

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Speaker 1: last night, and I was telling her how when you

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Speaker 1: when you stopped crying and you started again, how amazing

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Speaker 1: you were. And as a little kid, I just remember thinking, oh,

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Speaker 1: what was his name, mister Devanoff. Don't we need more,

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Speaker 1: mister dev mister, because in those moments to take take

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Speaker 1: you right, this young girl, in those moments, it could

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Speaker 1: go either way. If you faint and you never speak again,

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Speaker 1: then you live a whole life of fear of public speaking,

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Speaker 1: which when we see Lauren rding her now conference and convention,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem possible. But you could have lived a

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Speaker 1: life of like fear of public speaking.

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Speaker 2: If and I would have. Yati had got in a

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Speaker 2: car and said, you're right, just this ain't your thing.

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Speaker 2: He said, he told me I was great when I

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Speaker 2: was awful, and then by the way in Houston, I

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Speaker 2: didn't do much better. I did say that was awful.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I knew what I said, but he

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Speaker 2: was like, you know what, You're going to be even

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Speaker 2: better tomorrow. And he had the patience for me.

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Speaker 1: I remember you saying to me one time that he

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Speaker 1: would tell you, oh, you were yeah, you were really

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Speaker 1: good tonight.

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Speaker 3: Next time you're going to be great. Then you were great, great?

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Speaker 3: And what do you tell you when you were great?

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Speaker 2: Now you're going to be the greatest female speaker of

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Speaker 2: all time, even better than me. And I said, say,

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Speaker 2: this guy's crazy. That's how I knew he really loved

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Speaker 2: me because he would never get free compliments. But he

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Speaker 2: always believed in people. He knew exactly how to make

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Speaker 2: people feel how valuable they were. You know, he did it.

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Speaker 2: His love language was getting my input, you know, which

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Speaker 2: is why, of course the book is called Scrambled or

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Speaker 2: Sunday side up. Every day his whole life he asked me,

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Speaker 2: scrambled her Sunday side up.

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Speaker 3: He was asking me what kind of eggs out of breakfast?

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Speaker 2: He wake up say the same thing, good morning, baby,

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Speaker 2: good morning, scrambled ter Sunday side up today, I say, well,

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Speaker 2: scramble today. One day it be Sunday side up. You

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Speaker 2: do that for ten years. After ten years, you're kind

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Speaker 2: of like Jesus there and now it's your stomach. What

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Speaker 2: do you want scrambled or Sunday side up? And today

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Speaker 2: I do anything for him to ask me scrambled or

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Speaker 2: Sunday side up and the things. After ten years of

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Speaker 2: him asking me that I never really realized so after

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Speaker 2: he was gone, that that was his love language. His

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Speaker 2: love language was my input. His love language is what

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Speaker 2: should I wear tonight? Baby? Big one? Isn't it? Don't

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Speaker 2: we often overlook that? Yeah, we forget that some people's

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Speaker 2: love language is different than ours. My love language was

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Speaker 2: deep communication with him. His was my input with him.

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Speaker 2: It let him know how much I loved him. If

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Speaker 2: I did it. He didn't ask for much, but I

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Speaker 2: saw it as a burden because I was busy sometimes.

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Speaker 2: And now when I think about it, like why didn't

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Speaker 2: I just say scrambled or Sunday set up with a smile?

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Speaker 2: So you get so pissed off at yourself because you

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Speaker 2: don't see it while they're alive. And that's part of

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Speaker 2: the book is about seeing those things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, or you have to live grace with that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we all it's the term you don't know

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Speaker 1: what you got, so it's gone. Is made for a reason,

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Speaker 1: Like we never think about the things in the moment that.

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Speaker 2: There it is, we are going to be there, it is,

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Speaker 2: and I guess part of it is is seeing them

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Speaker 2: why you have a moment.

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Speaker 1: But at some point, I mean, we all need those

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Speaker 1: people and we cherish those people in our lives that

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Speaker 1: when we faint they say, no, no, you're fine, You're great.

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Speaker 1: But like, at some point it has to come from

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Speaker 1: inside with it. It does you Like, when is the moment

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Speaker 1: that you say to yourself, wait a minute, not only

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Speaker 1: can can I speak, but I'm actually pretty great at this.

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Speaker 2: I think it took about ten years in I mean,

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Speaker 2: the company's thirty years old. It took me ten years

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Speaker 2: to really go up there and be like, I'm great

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Speaker 2: at this, I can do this well. I have the

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Speaker 2: respect of leaders. I love them. This is my community,

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Speaker 2: It's where I belong. But when he died, that all

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Speaker 2: died with me with him. A part of me died

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Speaker 2: that day. You know, five months after he passed away,

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Speaker 2: I had to walk out on the stage in front

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Speaker 2: of you know, five thousand people.

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Speaker 3: I cannot imagine.

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Speaker 2: It was hard. It's the hardest time in my life,

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Speaker 2: and I thought I never once thought why am I

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Speaker 2: doing this? Why don't I cancel this? I just thought

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Speaker 2: to myself, I've got to do this for him. I've

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Speaker 2: got to do this for me, to show myself I

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Speaker 2: can do it. And even though I'm broken, doesn't mean

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Speaker 2: the company, Yeah, was broken, But.

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Speaker 1: The gravity of that when you think about how much

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Speaker 1: of a champion he was of you, even early in

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Speaker 1: your life, and then you build something together and now you're.

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Speaker 2: Alone in it alone, and by the way, it's as

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Speaker 2: lone as someone can be. Remember, I've never been alone

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Speaker 2: since I'm eighteen. Ever slept alone, never been alone. Jaredn't.

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Speaker 2: People don't understand manager's relationship wasn't like we worked together

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Speaker 2: nine to five. He didn't want to travel without me,

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Speaker 2: he didn't take vacations or trips without me. Were together

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Speaker 2: three hundred and sixty five days a year except for

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Speaker 2: the three days I pushed him to go skiing. Every

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Speaker 2: year for thirty six years, that's a long time.

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Speaker 1: I just can't imagine you that morning, dealing still deep

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Speaker 1: in your own grief, with the responsibility to show up

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Speaker 1: for this company. I just can't imagine like I was

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Speaker 1: really transparent.

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Speaker 2: I walked up there. I walked I still no obviously,

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Speaker 2: you know there's some days you're in more of a

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Speaker 2: haze than others. That was cloudy, and I just told him,

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure what's going to come out of my mouth,

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Speaker 2: but I want to tell you it's going to come

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Speaker 2: from my heart, so I can't go wrong. And I

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Speaker 2: just told him, you know that he gave us the opportunity.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how many companies were the that are

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Speaker 2: you know, private companies were a company and he's founder

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Speaker 2: passes away and there isn't some major transition and there

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Speaker 2: was no checks went out laid, Everything still went out

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Speaker 2: on time. He has spent his whole life building something

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Speaker 2: that would last for people. And I walked out there

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Speaker 2: and I told him, you know, I'm broken, but we're

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Speaker 2: not broken, and we will be okay, and I will

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Speaker 2: be okay and I will find a way through this

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Speaker 2: and you'll have to work with me on this. But

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Speaker 2: I'll lead you somehow or another. I'm going to lead

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Speaker 2: you because I know I can, and I know that's

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Speaker 2: what he wanted. And I did it, and it was

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Speaker 2: I was as scared as I've ever been. It was

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Speaker 2: like the first time I fainted. You know, the funny

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Speaker 2: thing about your confidence is when it's robbed from you

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Speaker 2: because you're not ready for it to be robbed from you.

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Speaker 2: You actually have it, you just don't know it, and

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Speaker 2: you have to talk to yourself and convince yourself, just

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Speaker 2: like you did in the early days. Yes, he was

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Speaker 2: the believer in me. Yes he deserves all the credit

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Speaker 2: for that. But he was right. He knew if I

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Speaker 2: told myself enough that my brain would eventually believe it.

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Speaker 2: We brainwash it ourselves to be nothing.

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Speaker 3: What is that thing you tell yourself?

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Speaker 1: Where does the leadership? Where does the confidence? What is

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Speaker 1: the voice inside?

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Speaker 2: It's that what you just said, it's that inner voice.

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Speaker 2: It's that inner voice says and you go start your

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Speaker 2: own show. Yeah, you're the one. You're the one. You're

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Speaker 2: the voice in New York. You're the one that people

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Speaker 2: love and respect and listen to. And we put that

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Speaker 2: off because we sometimes get to a space where we

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Speaker 2: question that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but the voice in our head, it's.

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Speaker 2: The one that's the softest voice that we got to

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Speaker 2: listen to.

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Speaker 3: So what is the one for you?

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Speaker 2: Like, now I scream it out, Now, I scream it

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Speaker 2: out in the mirror. I'm like, you're great, you can

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Speaker 2: do this, You're so great, go tackle the world. And

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Speaker 2: I scream like a Lunda ticket myself and like out loud,

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Speaker 2: like out loud, like this, like I love you, Lauren,

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Speaker 2: you can do this. You're awesome, You're great. I love you, Jared,

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Speaker 2: thank you for believing in me always. I love you

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Speaker 2: Lauren for not giving up on yourself. I do it

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Speaker 2: every day, do every day, and I do it and

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Speaker 2: it really helps set my day and it really and

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Speaker 2: I tell my children to do it now. I tell

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Speaker 2: my grandkids. I always tell my grandkids every day. Do

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Speaker 2: you realize how great you are? Yes? Remind yourself every

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Speaker 2: morning and every night before you go to bed, remind

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Speaker 2: yourself how great you are. And you have to eventually

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Speaker 2: take action.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: People just can't manifest something you people like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna manifest this. Well, manifest requires not just thinking, it's action.

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Speaker 3: What is the thing that you learned?

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Speaker 1: Because you know we started I started this pile with Lauren.

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Speaker 3: You've watched, by the way, I love how.

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Speaker 2: Much you love everything I love. I watched every single

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Speaker 2: episode at least once, maybe Lauren London's two or three times.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 3: I love that you watched that little bit. The funny

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Speaker 3: thing is that you watch that at a time where

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Speaker 3: you were in your own grief. Yeah, I did so

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Speaker 3: her episode.

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Speaker 2: It was very helpful to me. It was very she

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Speaker 2: was in her and I became friends on Instagram, and

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Speaker 2: really I told her how beautiful I thought she was

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Speaker 2: on that and she was just really amazing. And I

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Speaker 2: watched that episode at least three or four times. But

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Speaker 2: I've watched all your episodes so many times, and I

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Speaker 2: think there's a person that you feel really comfortable with

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Speaker 2: talking about things that hurts, that are real.

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Speaker 3: What was it about, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm just curious of what you resonated to in what

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Speaker 1: Lauren's episode or what she said about grief.

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Speaker 2: If there's I think that she learned to navigate it,

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Speaker 2: and I think she didn't expect it to go away,

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Speaker 2: and that helped prepare me. I didn't there was no

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Speaker 2: silver lining. She was very clear. If you really look

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Speaker 2: at her message in your podcast that day, if you

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Speaker 2: look at her message was I'm navigating it. I'm getting

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Speaker 2: up for my kids, I'm doing the things I have

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Speaker 2: to do. I want to make them proud. I followed

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Speaker 2: those exact same things I wanted to make Jared proud.

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Speaker 2: I got up when I realized saw my children suffering.

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Speaker 2: I saw them see me suffering. You know. I remember

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Speaker 2: Aiden on Christmas. Jar died August. Christmas, he wrote a

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Speaker 2: letter to Sanna, Dear Sannah, all I want for Christmas

391
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Speaker 2: is the Darth Favor, Darth Vader helmet, and for me

392
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Speaker 2: and me to find some happiness without Bop Bob. I

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Speaker 2: remember thinking, oh my god, they can feel my pain

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Speaker 2: so bad. And Lauren had expressed that she had incredible

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Speaker 2: pain and that it didn't go away. And in a

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Speaker 2: roundabout way, she saw children things that would have to

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Speaker 2: make her get up and move, and for me, I

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Speaker 2: did the same thing. And I think her message was

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Speaker 2: very clear that there is no solution for grief. It's

400
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Speaker 2: really just an extension of love, So you will grieve

401
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Speaker 2: as hard as you have loved heart.

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Speaker 3: It's funny because she said something to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it was inside the episode or

404
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Speaker 1: while we were talking after. I think it's in the episode,

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Speaker 1: and she talks about love almost it's.

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Speaker 3: Like Rose, Yes, like Rose like. Her relationship with Nip

407
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Speaker 3: was still very.

408
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 2: Has grown even more without Jeff, that's even possible.

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Speaker 3: It has.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I never kept a journal before. Now

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00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 2: I keep a journal on my phone. It's thousands of

412
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Speaker 2: pages long. You know, I communicate all the time. Our

413
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,640
Speaker 2: love grows all the time. I thank him all the time.

414
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Speaker 2: I think grief is an extension of love. And she

415
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Speaker 2: says it love grows after we lose someone. Because she's right,

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Speaker 2: grief and death don't eliminate love. It makes it grow

417
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Speaker 2: even more and we end up having a better relationship.

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Speaker 2: But that in some strange way, and I learned that

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Speaker 2: from that podcast.

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Speaker 1: There's something that I haven't experienced and don't know and

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Speaker 1: people that I know that have gone through grief.

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Speaker 3: This is a thing too. Is like the way people

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Speaker 3: perceive you. Like the word widow awful.

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Speaker 2: I hate the word widow. Do you know that the

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Speaker 2: state terminates your marriage upon death. I didn't know that,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't know that, Like you're no longer married,

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Speaker 2: you know, you don't because they terminate your marriage upon

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Speaker 2: death of a spouse. So that's why they have a

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Speaker 2: box for widow, because you're not you can't check the

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Speaker 2: box married. And that pissed me off. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's anybody's responsibility terminate my marriage but

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Speaker 2: me and we chose not to. But they do. They

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Speaker 2: terminate your marriage. That's why there's another box called widow.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't understand. I searched for the answer. I

435
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 2: didn't know why I hated the word. And I was like,

436
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 2: you know, I check marriage. Still, I'll still check me out.

437
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 3: I still check married.

438
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 2: I don't give a shit. I didn't like it, but

439
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 2: they do. That's why it's there. The state terminates your

440
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 2: marriage upon the death of a spouse, which means you're

441
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,159
Speaker 2: no longer married. And to me, I felt that death

442
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,680
Speaker 2: isn't the decision of that, and so I would still

443
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 2: check marriage. But the word widow's painful. It's almost like

444
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: a taboo word. It's almost like people say it, not

445
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 2: the people who love you. And it's not that they

446
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 2: people me any harm by it, but it's like, oh, well,

447
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 2: she's widowed, instead of just saying she lost her husband,

448
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 2: or she they lost her wife, she lost her wife,

449
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 2: or he lost his wife. You know, it's it's a

450
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 2: hard word. Night. I really despised it.

451
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 3: You, because you're capable of this, should create a new word.

452
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, we could create.

453
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 3: A new way.

454
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: You are totally capable of that, because it is a

455
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 1: very dark word.

456
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 3: It is even the word widow. It just sounds I

457
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 3: seek the color black.

458
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 2: When I think of that, it's me too. It feels

459
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 2: like the awful and it's like a black wise, it's

460
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 2: like a black scar fighter. I don't even like it

461
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,640
Speaker 2: the way it looks. It's like it's a scar it is.

462
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 2: It's like I still check marriage and I just it

463
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: despises me that so many forms that the doctors have

464
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 2: that on there.

465
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: My very good friend of Vett lost her son at

466
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: he was twenty six years old and died unexpected unexpectedly

467
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: from a cardiac arrest. It's just a couple of years

468
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,400
Speaker 1: ago too, not that long ago. It's heartbreaking, heartbreaking. But

469
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: she still checks when they when they say how many

470
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 1: children do you have?

471
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 3: Because she also has a daughter. She still writes, two children.

472
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:10,439
Speaker 3: I have two children.

473
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 2: I would write the same thing.

474
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 1: She still has two children. She says, he's he transitioned,

475
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 1: That's what she says. He's transitioned. He is no longer

476
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: here in physical form, but she still has him.

477
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 2: She's and that's beautiful that she says that, and that

478
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 2: I would write that too, and I think, you know,

479
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 2: there's gotta be a different world. We're gonna figure it

480
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 2: sucks for God's sake, Let's find something else. It drives

481
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 2: me nuts. Widow is an all who chose that one

482
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 2: to begin with? Why so I just want to this

483
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 2: car like Superstar? You know she made it. She's a survivor.

484
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: How about survivor anything other than widow. Don't label me

485
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 2: as that.

486
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 1: I love your theory about parenthood and how because there's

487
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 1: so many things about parenthood that nobody tells us, right even.

488
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 2: When you're fraid to talk about it.

489
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: Give birth to this baby, you're terrified something's gonna happen

490
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: to the baby. All of a sudden, you got all

491
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: the nervousness, and then you realize, oh shit, for the

492
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: rest of my life I have to be worried about.

493
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 1: Somebody explains that to you.

494
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 3: Out of the gates.

495
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 2: Nobody tells you from the time your child's born, you

496
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 2: will never have a peaceful night sleep ever, as long

497
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 2: as you have children. It is the most beautiful love yet. Yeah, tormenting,

498
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: tormenting and sometimes unrewarding. And I say that as somebody

499
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 2: who's very close with her daughter, an incredibly cose like

500
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 2: she's the love of my life. I call her all

501
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 2: day and my three grandkids. However, we look as our

502
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 2: children get older, you know, we look to be like, okay,

503
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 2: well I'm here alone now, what can you do to

504
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,719
Speaker 2: help me right now? And they have their own life

505
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 2: and you realize that our job is to fill our

506
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 2: children's cup, but it's not their job to fill ours.

507
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 2: And that's been a hard lesson for me in my life,

508
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 2: one of the hardest, and hard because it hurts, hard,

509
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 2: because it's sensitive, hard because it's like, hey, do you

510
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 2: remember me, the one who would help you through anything,

511
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 2: the one who would be there for any of the

512
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 2: one who would starve so you can eat, who would sacrifice,

513
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 2: who would sleep on a floor so you could sleep

514
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 2: on a comfy bed. And that's like, okay, mom, but

515
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 2: that's what you should do. You're my mom, And you're

516
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 2: kind of like, oh, and to strangle you, you know,

517
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 2: but you realize that it's relationship. It's not it's not

518
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 2: and nobody wants to say that it's not a two way. Yes,

519
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 2: we get fulfillment from our kids, Yes we our kids

520
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 2: love us. They would do anything for us, But yet

521
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 2: they don't realize that the sacrifices we make as parents

522
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: along the way and it's not their job to fill hours.

523
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 2: So for the rest of your life, if you go

524
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: through your lif life knowing that it's only your job

525
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 2: to fill up their cup and you don't expect anything

526
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 2: in return, it will be the most beautiful relationship ever.

527
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 2: And it's true, though it's like, you know, and it's okay.

528
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 3: I've never really heard anybody talk about that, but isn't

529
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 3: it true. Of course, it's true. It's not their job.

530
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 1: And if you really are honest about it, you do

531
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: want your children to have their own life and their

532
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 1: own children's cup to fill and their own spouse's cups

533
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 1: to fill.

534
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 2: One hundred per Jared gave me a poem every Mother's Day.

535
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 2: I never I love the poem so much. It was

536
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 2: called Mothers Build Cathedrals, and it was a story about

537
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 2: how these beautiful cathedrals were built over time, eighteen hundreds

538
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 2: and all these beautiful cathedrals were built, but nobody knows

539
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 2: exactly who built them all. We know some of the

540
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: famous artists, right, but we don't know exactly who built

541
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: them all. But it's like motherhood. We do all this

542
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 2: building our whole life, but we don't really know it.

543
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: And Amber said to me when she had her own baby,

544
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 2: Jara gave her that poem and she said, Mamma, you

545
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 2: know what, I've read that poem every year that dad

546
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 2: gave me it, and you know what it means. And

547
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: she got it. So the funny thing is she's probably

548
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,119
Speaker 2: going through the same thing we're going through now that

549
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 2: I'm an adult. Now that she says babies, But she's like,

550
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,400
Speaker 2: we don't want our kids to come home and say, hey, mom,

551
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 2: thanks for making the best sandwich for us when I

552
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: was hungry, or mom, thanks for feeding all ten of

553
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 2: my friends that showed up after basketball, because we don't

554
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 2: really want them to say. We don't need that. We

555
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 2: just want them to come home, and that what we

556
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 2: really want. And so I think that's the ultimate.

557
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 3: So that's what people should know that going in.

558
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 2: You will have a better journey going in and peaceful,

559
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 2: more peaceful, and you can deal with it better. But

560
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 2: if they don't know that, it's somewhat of a wake up.

561
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 3: Dollars, like, hey, this is an unfair relationship.

562
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 2: Don't you see this. You're like, Okay, how many more

563
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 2: kids are you going to invite in this house? You

564
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 2: with two boys?

565
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 3: I got two grown boys, and sometimes it's ten of them.

566
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 2: Is there anybody asking like, hey, I need this, I

567
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 2: need this.

568
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: No, but you know what, that's why as mothers, the

569
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 1: little things matter. So I have I always have a

570
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: ton of boys in my house, right because you know,

571
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 1: you know my family. I have my two sons, but

572
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: then also I had I have my son and my stepson,

573
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: and then I have four godsons, and so sometimes I

574
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 1: have six boys in.

575
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 3: My house, especially in the holidays and all that lot.

576
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,679
Speaker 1: And every now and then, like just the other day,

577
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,719
Speaker 1: I got a text message from one of my godsons

578
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: and he's away in school.

579
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 3: He's like, tit.

580
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: He goes me, t I just want to say thank

581
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: you for everything you've ever done for me and I

582
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: love you so much. And he never has ever said

583
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 1: that to me or I don't know where. I was like,

584
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 1: are you okay?

585
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 3: Do you need something?

586
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: He was like you actually after Scrammo Sonny said I

587
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: I need something, he was like, no, I just wanted

588
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: you to.

589
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 3: I just wanted to tell you I love you.

590
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 2: Whatever he took that day, We want to take it.

591
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 3: But as mothers, it.

592
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 2: Feels so good. That's everybody love note and that's, by

593
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 2: the way, another beautiful thing. Send messages of love, send voices.

594
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: There's so much of been there. No. I happen to

595
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: be fortune because Jared was more of a public speaker,

596
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 2: so I could have lots of messages and videos of

597
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 2: him saying, my wife's aw some, my wife's this, my

598
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: wife's at But to have voice in its sent to you,

599
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 2: and thousands of letters like Jara wrote me about why

600
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 2: he loves me, a trunk full five thousand letters that

601
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: he wrote me over time. And when I think about

602
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 2: how fortunate I am, how lucky I am that I've

603
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 2: had that in my life, that I will have that forever,

604
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,239
Speaker 2: and that one day my children, at any point that

605
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 2: they want, can go in there and read that know

606
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: what love looks like. And that feels good to me.

607
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: And there's a lot in there. There's like, you know,

608
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 2: don't be a bitch and forgive me and let this go.

609
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: And I didn't hide any of it because you know why,

610
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 2: because that was our journey.

611
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a part of it.

612
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 2: It's a part of who we are. For anybody to

613
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: think that it didn't have major speed bunks, major mountains

614
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 2: to overcome. I just believe like you that we don't

615
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 2: throw in the towel every time things go wrong. And

616
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: that is the message. Right when you think about it,

617
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 2: it's like, it's so much easier to say I'll forget

618
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 2: about it, I'm done with this. It's so much harder

619
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: to put the work in and stay and stay. Yeah,

620
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: and that's important.

621
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: Okay, in real life? How happy are you.

622
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 2: On the scale of once a ten personally or professionally? Personally,

623
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 2: I'm probably a three or four?

624
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 3: Really?

625
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes me so don't make it. Don't let

626
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 2: it make you sad. It's grown a lot, and that's

627
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: what I look for, is growth. I mean, if I

628
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 2: were to say, how do I measure myself from where

629
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 2: I've been to where I'm today, I would say I'm

630
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 2: a ten. But when I think of me personally, like

631
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: how still lonely it is after two years?

632
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 3: That's hard? Oh baby, that's honest.

633
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: Though, if you want to lie or you want.

634
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 3: The truth, do I want the truth? That's why I ask.

635
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 2: You, you want the truth through a life? Shit?

636
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 3: People don't always answer that question truthfully. That's right.

637
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: Fuck saying we never got a two or three. Yeah,

638
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: we get to never get to two or three. But

639
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: I think that's the truth. I think if I were

640
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: being really honest about where life has been, where were

641
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: you zero? I was at a zero. I was at

642
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 2: a I don't know if I can get off the ground.

643
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 2: Even though I was functioning, even though I was answering emails,

644
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: even though I was working, even though I was doing

645
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: all the shit that nobody else could do, I was functioning,

646
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: I was still at a big zero. So to get

647
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 2: to three or four, probably more like a four, that

648
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 2: was big for me. And I'm really proud of it actually,

649
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 2: So don't be sad, because I love you and that's

650
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 2: actually a good space. And by the way, I'll get

651
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 2: to the ten. On a professional level, I would say

652
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: that my thinking, my mind, my vision is operating at

653
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,479
Speaker 2: a level ten or more, you know, And it's really

654
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: great when they can get really close to each other.

655
00:30:56,120 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: And that's micheal, because it's hard to operate functionally and

656
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: really clear minded unless they are equal. I don't know

657
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: if they'll ever get quite equal. I'm at a ten plus.

658
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: You know yourself enough to be able to compartmentalize the two.

659
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: It's tricky when you put everything, when you bury.

660
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 2: Yourself in work, it's hard.

661
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 3: Sometimes it can help, you know it can help.

662
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 2: You can do both. It can do both. You just

663
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 2: can't lose yourself in it. You know you have to

664
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 2: find I will have moments that I break in the

665
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: middle of a phone call, and I've found grace for

666
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 2: myself in those moments. Meaning I could be on a

667
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 2: conference call, everything's great, my team knows everything will be

668
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: going great. I'll have a great conversation and something triggers me,

669
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 2: and it could be just a word, a thought. I

670
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: hear something in the background, and I just start crying,

671
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 2: and I realize that my life is different than it

672
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 2: used to be, and I miss that life and I

673
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 2: wish it wasn't like that. How do I keep pushing through?

674
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 2: How do I keep going? But instead of punishing myself

675
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 2: because I can't explain that wave of pain, I don't

676
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: think you can. I don't think you know how to

677
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 2: say like it hurts. People will never really understand it

678
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: till they go through it because of exactly what you said.

679
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: The only answer is what you said. We don't talk

680
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 2: about it. The only answer is what you said. We

681
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: don't talk about death. Isn't that crazy? Yet we all

682
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 2: have it in common, so we're not ready for it.

683
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 2: So when I start crying, I just say, excuse me, guys,

684
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: give me a moment. And I've learned to say this,

685
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: if my grief makes you feel uncomfortable, it's not my problem.

686
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 2: And I have to forgive myself for that. And I

687
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 2: have to have grace for myself in times of the

688
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: hardest moments of my life. And I've learned to realize

689
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: that I can still do things even in it. And

690
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 2: that's the thing. So often we use what we're dealing

691
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 2: with as an excuse not to get where we need

692
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: to go. We use as an excuse and we procrastinate

693
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 2: life and time. I know that you were a victim

694
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: in your past, but that doesn't mean you need to

695
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 2: continue to be a victim in your future. Yeah, And

696
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: so I try not to be that girl that says

697
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 2: I have all the excuses in the world not to

698
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 2: push through it today, and I'd pushed through it anyway.

699
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 2: So right now it's two or three. But I'm honest

700
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 2: about it, and I'm really transparent about it, and I

701
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: know what it is, and I work on it in

702
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 2: some days it's better than others.

703
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 3: Get do you have?

704
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? It was a zero before, and so if you

705
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 2: can get to a two or three and some days

706
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 2: you could have a four or five and laugh? And

707
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 2: what about you? What about you? When you ask yourself,

708
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 2: you have to ask yourself the same question.

709
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 3: I didn't think you were gonna ask me.

710
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 2: No, I'm asking you it again. I'm not letting you

711
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 2: off the hook.

712
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,239
Speaker 1: I think I'm in a weird I'm in And it's

713
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: funny because my life will reflect in this podcast. Like

714
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: so when you started to say I lost, those people

715
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: had that big change in my life. I watch good

716
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: friends go through serious loss and grief, and I think

717
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: right now, this season being about pivoting, I think I'm

718
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: in that right now. And like in real time, in

719
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 1: real life, you know, it's like scary. Sometimes I'm just

720
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,439
Speaker 1: not I'm uncertain about the I feel very uncertain about

721
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: the world, my place in it. Am I doing what

722
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be doing. I'm normally really confident in

723
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, and I don't know right now if

724
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: I've figured out what the pivot is for.

725
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 3: Me right now, if I'm being normal.

726
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: This test I don't want to get into too much

727
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: because it will require me to tell other people's business.

728
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: But I have been working on something for the past year.

729
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: I've been putting a lot of time and effort and care,

730
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 1: putting other things in my life aside for something that

731
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: I thought he was.

732
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 3: Deep in my heart.

733
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: And I've been working on something for a year that

734
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: is no longer happening.

735
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 2: That's question.

736
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really disappointing. So you take that away,

737
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 1: then you put it in that the world is different.

738
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I'm in a weird state of life.

739
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: Right Where do I fit in all this?

740
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 3: My purpose? What is my purpose right now? What's making

741
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 3: me happy right now? How do I serve right now?

742
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 2: I just had the best idea how you served in

743
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 2: my head? That just came to my mind right now. Yea,

744
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,879
Speaker 2: share it. You can share it, or you can cut

745
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: it if you want. But I just had this vision

746
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 2: that you go in now and you're going to start

747
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 2: doing documentaries about people live or not alive anymore. You're

748
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,439
Speaker 2: the best person to tell the story. Oh my god,

749
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,359
Speaker 2: it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Christian's daying. Yes,

750
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 2: He's like, yes, that imagine that nobody feels more comfortable

751
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 2: than talking to you. Just hit me, let's talk about this.

752
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 2: But it's you talking to people who are telling the

753
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 2: story because you know they'll be honest with you. I

754
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 2: would never have this conversation with anyone else but you.

755
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 2: And I'm not one of your people, Like I mean,

756
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 2: I'm not one of that the artist the famous people

757
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 2: I'm we're having I'm not one of those artists, famous people.

758
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 2: We're just having a conversation about life, right and pivoting,

759
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 2: because that's what this is about. But there's so much

760
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 2: of that that people do rely on you for.

761
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 3: I do think my.

762
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: Purpose and gift is in storytelling and helping other people

763
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 1: tell them and seeing the story, seeing people right, and

764
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 1: seeing the seeing people going to the point of it,

765
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: and seeing people for.

766
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 2: And loving them even in the bad ye of it all.

767
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's what I was trying to do.

768
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 2: Well, I think we just might have been, honestly, definitely.

769
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: Hit a large bump in the road, and so I

770
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: feel a little defeated and a little tired.

771
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 3: So I think that's it.

772
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 2: I just need I need a kick ass. We need

773
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: a work session, you and I. We need a real

774
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 2: work that.

775
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 3: Would help, That would be nice.

776
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm in that. I'm by the way, I'm fine.

777
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 1: There's like real shit happening in the world. I have

778
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: friends that are really in the depths of troubling times.

779
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 3: So I'm fine.

780
00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 1: But if I'm being honest, it's terms of like happy

781
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: on one to ten or emotionally. Right now, I am

782
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: in a place where I am ready to pivot, and

783
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: normally I know what that pivot is. Right this second,

784
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 1: I do not, and it makes me a'm very uncomfortable.

785
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 2: Listen, I told you you felt bad for me when

786
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: I said a two or three and I said I've

787
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 2: had a zero. And I think, if we're really honest

788
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:23,319
Speaker 2: about this, this show and how it helps people, it's

789
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: like everybody out there should be doing the same question

790
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 2: of themselves.

791
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I tend to on a normal days, normal times,

792
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: on an average, I tend to operate. I think I

793
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: operated a seven, and I have days that.

794
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 2: I'm like, I did great mood.

795
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 3: I'm in eight, nines, even tens.

796
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: Is you know that's like the best times of life,

797
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: Like you know, we save it for that, But I

798
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 1: operate mostly out of seven.

799
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 3: I think, so being at a five is not comfortable.

800
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 2: But I think part of it is that you got

801
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 2: to separate the two a little bit.

802
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's good. I needed that.

803
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 2: You got to separate the two a little bit and

804
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: to put the and you personal aside. You your family life,

805
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,240
Speaker 2: your home life. What makes you happy there at home

806
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 2: is a different number than where you are in your

807
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: professional mind and where you're going. And that's a big step.

808
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: And I think, people, my god, that's so good for me.

809
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 2: I need that because I only have one number. Yeah,

810
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 2: it can't be. It can never be exactly the same.

811
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 2: It's never they can be close for mine, their way

812
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: off right now right but and mine is only a

813
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 2: ten plus in business only because I'm looking in the

814
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,399
Speaker 2: future and I know it's coming, and there's the world

815
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 2: of AI. Technology is changing, e commerce is changing. People

816
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 2: don't care about necessarily just shopping online anymore. It's going

817
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 2: to change. I'm just going to be ahead of it.

818
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 2: But I love when they're closer. I don't like that

819
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 2: ones at two and a three and ones a ten,

820
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: but one day they'll get closer. If I could get

821
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 2: seven and eight, i'd be really happy. That's great. But

822
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 2: here's a good thing. If you do it every day.

823
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 2: When you think of it on a personal level and

824
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 2: a professional level, you can gauge your growth each day.

825
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 2: You can start to see what it was that affected me.

826
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 2: And I choose not to put myself around certain things

827
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 2: that might have affected it.

828
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 3: Right.

829
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think in order to really get where we

830
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 2: want to go, if we keep them separately, we can

831
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,240
Speaker 2: still grow on both sides.

832
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, You're amazing.

833
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 2: I love you. I think that's beautiful.

834
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: We were talking about the pressure of you. You know,

835
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: you were talking before about how like you would sleep

836
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: on the pillow by yourself and have to get up

837
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: and that day of you having to do convention that

838
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: day and just now running this Emperor hire on your

839
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: own and.

840
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 3: All the stuff that the pressure that comes with that.

841
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: And it's funny too, because you know, I have golf,

842
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 1: like I golf now, and that's really been such a

843
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: therapeutic thing for me. And every time I mentioned golf

844
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: around you, You're always like, I'm so.

845
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 3: Happy you have that.

846
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 2: I'm so happy you have it because I think we

847
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 2: all need something.

848
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was wondering what your thing is. Do you

849
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 3: have something?

850
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 2: I don't know it yet. I think sometimes it's like

851
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 2: I'm OCD anyway. You know, you know I keep a

852
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 2: perfectly clean house. If I start a lego, I've got

853
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 2: to finish it with the kids.

854
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 3: You know, A thousand piece, a.

855
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 2: Thousand piece puzzle. You know, I like things that make

856
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: me think. I like to keep this really sharp. It's

857
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,879
Speaker 2: the thing I got to And you know, Jerry used

858
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 2: to say, what's the one thing you worry about? The

859
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: moss is like keeping this really sharp? And that's really

860
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 2: my message too. It's like, I really work on that.

861
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 2: I don't how do you rest it? Though? It's hard,

862
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: it's hard to turn it off. You know, sometimes you

863
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 2: just got to get around your girls. That's where your

864
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 2: girls fill the space of saying, no, we're going let's

865
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 2: go put your clothes on. We're gonna go down the street.

866
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 2: We're gonna go grab a bite, d We're gonna watch

867
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 2: this ridiculous we're gonna watch By the way, last night

868
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 2: I watched this great. I watched you and as the

869
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 2: nurse on on Lifetime. It was so good. I'm watching

870
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 2: the movie at three am.

871
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 3: I was in it.

872
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 2: Hell no, I didn't know you were in it. By

873
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 2: the way, I was working and watching and I wasn't

874
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 2: trying to watch it, but I was thinking Jennifer and

875
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 2: I used to ooh, baby, I think I love you.

876
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 3: Know, and I was like singing the song. And then

877
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 3: I look up.

878
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, my god, is Alisa Lisa must be

879
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 2: her like show on Lifetime. I start watching it and

880
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 2: I'm working on a presentation of mine and I'm watching.

881
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 2: All of a sudden, I see she's in the hospital

882
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 2: and she's bound on breast cancer. Nobody knows which, By

883
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 2: the way, I was inspired by that moment. I was

884
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 2: really inspired. And I one thing I do do and

885
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 2: some people consider it work, but it's not work for me,

886
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 2: as I look for success stories like that in my

887
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: mind to keep me going. And I didn't know she

888
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 2: had breast cancer and that she was hiding it from

889
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 2: everybody else. And she's sitting on the hospital bed and

890
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 2: the nurse comes over and she tells the doctor that

891
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 2: she's gonna help her and go with her and take

892
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,399
Speaker 2: care of her. And I turn around and it's you,

893
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what, she's the nurse and I didn't

894
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,800
Speaker 2: even know you acted in that. I was like, what,

895
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 2: I didn't know you were in it? How would I know?

896
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 3: That if I got to tell you, I don't always

897
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 3: yell to me. She's like, you never tell me anything

898
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 3: you're doing. I'm like, I don't know, I just do stuff.

899
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, when did you do that? When did you

900
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 2: do that?

901
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 3: Month ago? A couple of months ago.

902
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 2: I was blown away. And by the way, the whole

903
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 2: movie is great. Have you seen it?

904
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 1: I haven't watched the whole movie yet again, I watch

905
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 1: it again. I'm going to watch it tonight. I saw

906
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: like a rough cut when they were working on it,

907
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: but I haven't seen it.

908
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought it was an old movie.

909
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 3: I just dropped the February first it came out.

910
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 2: How I ended up watching it last night, and I

911
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,359
Speaker 2: was so moved that I t vowed it so inspired,

912
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 2: and I didn't know her story.

913
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 3: I just loved her.

914
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 2: But isn't it funny how you can love someone and

915
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 2: not know their journey, And so that was That's something

916
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 2: that keeps me going. But especially that I turned it

917
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 2: on and there's Angie in it as the nurse. He's

918
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 2: getting ready to go on the tour with Lisa. Lisa,

919
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 2: and so I loved it so much. Many hats, many hats,

920
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 2: And that's why I love you so much because when

921
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,959
Speaker 2: we think about grief, you don't have to lose someone

922
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 2: that grief, I mean, going through what you went through

923
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 2: in the accident is grieving part of you from then

924
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: is how do I get back to what happened? How

925
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 2: do I get back to where I was? How do

926
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 2: I get back to who I was and where I

927
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 2: was at that stage of my life?

928
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: And for you even too, because really it's for the

929
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: end you'll see living your best life after losing your

930
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 1: greatest love, right, living your best life, but not you're

931
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 1: not over the grief.

932
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 3: You didn't You didn't fix the grief. Day.

933
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 2: I suffer every day. I just choose to get up anyway. Yeah,

934
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 2: you know, I suffer every day. There's not a night

935
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 2: I go to bed that I don't suffer crying for

936
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 2: at least thirty minutes. There's not a day that doesn't

937
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: goodbye that I don't miss the Lauren that I was

938
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: before with Dare. I miss that life. I miss our life,

939
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: I miss him, I miss me, I miss all of that.

940
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: I will never be the same, but I have to

941
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 2: get up anyway, And so I'm finding a way to

942
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: thrive through it and not just survive and I think

943
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 2: that takes real effort, and I know that, but I'm

944
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 2: up for it. I'm up for the challenge. I'm up

945
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 2: for the ride, I'm up for the journey. It's a

946
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 2: new page, it's a new chapter. And here's the good news.

947
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: We get to author our own life, we get to

948
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 2: author our own book, we get to be the director

949
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 2: of our own movie. And we only get one shot

950
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 2: at this that I know of I want to give

951
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 2: it the best shot I got. And that's why when

952
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 2: I see you, and you know, you don't talk about

953
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 2: it much, but I know that journey that you've been through,

954
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 2: that accident, that I know the Angie before and I

955
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 2: know the Angie now, and I love her both. But

956
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 2: there's a lot of changes that came with the new one,

957
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 2: right for sure, a new journey. And that was like

958
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 2: having to adjust yourself and find this. You know, you

959
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 2: look at your life and say, okay, well maybe I

960
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 2: like this a little bit better and this is not

961
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 2: as much. But then you learn to navigate no matter what.

962
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 2: You show up yeah for sure, and you realize you're like,

963
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 2: I have all this still and it all still exists,

964
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 2: and it will never leave me, and I will always

965
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 2: have him, and I will always be grateful for him,

966
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 2: because if it was for Jair, there would never be

967
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 2: Larn and Jair, you know, and I will always know

968
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 2: my best self as Larn and Jair.

969
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 3: Oh, your best self. You might not have found her yet.

970
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 2: I don't know about that.

971
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 3: I still think there's I don't know. Maybe you haven't

972
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 3: become your best version of yourself?

973
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 2: Shut out. No, seriously, I know I have. You don't

974
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 2: believe that. I just just take it day by day. Okay,

975
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 2: let's go day by day.

976
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:30,240
Speaker 3: Jesus.

977
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 2: I love that she's like Jesus, that's just take it

978
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 2: day by day.

979
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 3: She doesn't listen.

980
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 2: Do you want me to find the best of me? Still?

981
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 2: I thought the best of me already happened.

982
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 3: I listened to you. It doesn't have to mean the

983
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:43,240
Speaker 3: best of you.

984
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 2: The best you can still be ahead. I'm not sure

985
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 2: that mine are still ahead, but yours for sure.

986
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 3: Why are you rooting me on like crazy?

987
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 2: Why you don't have to find out love like that? Again?

988
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 2: You don't have to have like There could be other things, Yes,

989
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 2: I could have. My career is still popping, everything's still going.

990
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 2: I'm thinking sharper than ever. I'm clearer more than ever.

991
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,720
Speaker 2: I'm more clear than ever. I'm more aware of life

992
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 2: like you are. You have to face death to see life.

993
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 3: But you don't believe.

994
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 2: Oh shit, here you go.

995
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 3: No, I'm asking. That's a real question.

996
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: What is it You don't believe that the best version

997
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 1: of you could still be in front of you.

998
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 2: It's possible, anything's possible.

999
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 3: But do you believe that?

1000
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 2: I believe it's possible. How's that?

1001
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 3: Okay?

1002
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 2: I believe it's possible. And the fact that I believe

1003
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 2: is more than most people believe in them.

1004
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 3: The fact that you're ready to fight me over it.

1005
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 2: I'm ready to fight to it only because I'd rather talk.

1006
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 3: About you than me.

1007
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 2: But the truth of the matter is is because most

1008
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 2: of us never believe as it is. And I already

1009
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 2: believe in myself again, but you know I don't. I

1010
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 2: just try to keep an open mind for what the

1011
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 2: future looks like for me. I know the future's really

1012
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: bright when it comes to work and my creative side exist.

1013
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 2: That's what I have a gift for that, you know

1014
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 2: I can. Jerry used to say you could take anything

1015
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 2: and turn it into gold. I know that now. I

1016
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 2: understand it now, and I don't need Jr. Present in

1017
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,760
Speaker 2: the physical presence to remind me of that. I remember now,

1018
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 2: but it's taken a long time for me to see

1019
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 2: what it looks like. And I know it makes you

1020
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 2: and my other friends said, when I say I don't

1021
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 2: know what this life looks like for me, it's personally

1022
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 2: because it's hard to see that. No.

1023
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: I think that you believe in yourself, and I think

1024
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: that you're I think you're probably proud of yourself. I

1025
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 1: don't want to speak, but like in terms of your

1026
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 1: business and what you've been able to, the shoes you've

1027
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 1: been able to step into, how you've managed to in

1028
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: this time.

1029
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:39,439
Speaker 2: By the way, this is the first time I remember

1030
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 2: talking about all deep shit like this. So yes, this

1031
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 2: is hardcore stuff.

1032
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 3: We're this exclusives.

1033
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 2: This is exclusive exclusive guts. We're in the nitty gritty

1034
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 2: and we're deep in the woods. Would say we're deep

1035
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: in the woods right now.

1036
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 3: We're in the real life of it, all of it all.

1037
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 1: But I think if you take your real life out

1038
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 1: and you take yourself as an entrepreneur and a leader

1039
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: and a business woman.

1040
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: Proud of myself. I think learning to operating independently of

1041
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 2: what my professional life look like has served its purpose

1042
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: very well.

1043
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 3: Okay, you're ready for my in real life? Ready?

1044
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 2: We can I be ready for anything else?

1045
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 3: There?

1046
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 2: What else can there be?

1047
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 3: You don't have to answer them quickly because the.

1048
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 2: Laughing over there. What else can there be? Yes, I'm ready.

1049
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 2: We know all of your business, tell me everything. We

1050
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 2: didn't really go.

1051
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: So deep and you are listen, we're talking about the

1052
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 1: human this book scrambled or sunny side up. It really

1053
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 1: is like more about the human.

1054
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,399
Speaker 3: Side of you. But if we take that away, because

1055
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 3: I've witnessed the other.

1056
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: Side of you, which is this leader of this company and.

1057
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: This which in short term, by the way, is very simple.

1058
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 2: We spent thirty six thirty well thirty three years now

1059
00:48:56,520 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 2: helping other people become little entrepreneurs having their own ecoms business.

1060
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 2: That's it. And they have done very well at it,

1061
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 2: and we've done very well at it. And they don't

1062
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 2: have to inventory a thing, and they can make as

1063
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 2: much or as little as they want to empower them

1064
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 2: to be the best version of themselves when nobody ever

1065
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: really did in their life.

1066
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 3: When did you realize that business was successful?

1067
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,240
Speaker 2: Oh gosh? And we started in ninety two by ninety

1068
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 2: five it was starting to really kick. But what does

1069
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 2: that mean, like meaning, we made our first like million

1070
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,280
Speaker 2: dollars and it was a big thing. And by nineteen

1071
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 2: ninety six, we've made our first one hundred million dollars

1072
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: four years in, unheard of. And Jared would push and

1073
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 2: push on us all the time, used to drive me crazy.

1074
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 2: It'd be like, yes, we did it with a five million,

1075
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 2: ten million two years in, and he'd be like, keep going,

1076
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,279
Speaker 2: push while you have momentum. Momentum can stop if you

1077
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 2: let the snowball effect happen. You know, you can either

1078
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 2: build up or can roll backwards. He was really he

1079
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 2: really focused on momentum. He never counted the checkbook, never

1080
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 2: wanted basically what money existed, because he just kept investing it.

1081
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: Nobody Mark was living with me, broke, my brothers living. No,

1082
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: we were living in a three bedroom apartment that we

1083
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:09,280
Speaker 2: were all crammed in. Literally.

1084
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 3: Nobody was like a guy, we can buy a house now.

1085
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 2: No, he wouldn't let us. No, we didn't buy a

1086
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: house until nineteen ninety nine. And the business is worth

1087
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,239
Speaker 2: what at this point a few hundred million a year.

1088
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,280
Speaker 2: We were doing, We were doing incredibly well, he didn't

1089
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 2: believe in that. He cared about reinvesting in it. He

1090
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: knew that something it disappear as fast as it came me.

1091
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 2: It just came out of bankruptcy. When I met him,

1092
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 2: he was scared. He I used to say, you're dating

1093
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 2: me because I have good credit or no credit. I

1094
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 2: was eighteen, I had no debt. I used to say,

1095
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 2: you gotta stay married in me. You know, we teased

1096
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 2: all the time, but yeah, you know, we did a lot.

1097
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 2: We helped a lot of people, and it was like

1098
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 2: we we just wanted people to be the best versions

1099
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 2: of themselves and we had.

1100
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,879
Speaker 3: Did money change you or your relationship or.

1101
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,280
Speaker 1: Because that is a pivot, you go from having nothing

1102
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 1: to all of a sudden you have an abundant.

1103
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 3: People don't really talk about that either. There's got to

1104
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 3: be a shift there that happens.

1105
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 1: Almost even you becoming somewhat of an opportunity for people.

1106
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 2: That's hard. You know, that part's always the uncomfortable part.

1107
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 2: You don't want to be seen like that, or you know,

1108
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 2: phone rings and it's like, you know, you're not a

1109
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 2: bank and I didn't get here doing that. Jared didn't

1110
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 2: get here doing that, and none of us did. But

1111
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 2: at the same token, I try to be a giver

1112
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 2: and give back as much as I can, however I

1113
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 2: can to the things that matter to me, because you know,

1114
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: everybody ask, right, but you want to give to the

1115
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 2: things that are dear to your heart. And I think

1116
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 2: that money can change people. However, I also think that

1117
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 2: money can help people help a lot of people, help

1118
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 2: change people for the good. And I think it's a

1119
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 2: it's like another taboo conversation, right when you think about

1120
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,760
Speaker 2: the fact that you ask that is such a wow

1121
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 2: question because nobody wants to talk about what money can

1122
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 2: do to people. I've seen it hurt people, and I've

1123
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 2: seen it help people. And I've seen people like JayR

1124
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 2: who just didn't fase them. And it's really a great

1125
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 2: lesson for me because as women, we always like nice things,

1126
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 2: We want pretty things, and he didn't care. You know,

1127
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 2: he could wear the same T shirt and be happy

1128
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 2: often he did. You know, had ten of them, and

1129
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 2: we're laughing. I know the guys are laughing listening to this,

1130
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 2: but you know he could buy ten of the same

1131
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,439
Speaker 2: T shirts and loved I said, can we get another

1132
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 2: T shirt? They'd be like, no, I like this T shirt.

1133
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, they didn't care about that. And

1134
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 2: that was a big lesson for me to realize that

1135
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 2: money for him wasn't the scoreboard. And I learned to realize.

1136
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 2: And I'm trying to teach my children the same thing,

1137
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 2: like even right now with money. I have a conversation

1138
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 2: with Amber and I say, you know, we're partners in this.

1139
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 2: I'm just a custodian of this. It's not mine, it's

1140
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 2: not yours, it's not even your children's. It's we got

1141
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 2: to be a custodian and be responsible. And how can

1142
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 2: we help as many people as we can with it

1143
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 2: while helping ourselves, but helping as many people as we can.

1144
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 2: And I think that's got to be the message. I

1145
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 2: think that's got to be the message that Dare didn't

1146
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 2: just build us for it to belong to me to

1147
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 2: have things or for him. And he wrote the word

1148
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 2: you're a custodian, yeah, and a custodian meaning a custodian

1149
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 2: for not just what I've given you, but what you'll

1150
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,399
Speaker 2: give and what she'll give. And I don't want us

1151
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 2: to be foolish with it, because we can make it

1152
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:28,359
Speaker 2: last for a many of generations and help a lot

1153
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 2: of people if we do something different. I look at

1154
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 2: some of those big families, the Rockefellers, the carnegiese. Those

1155
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 2: people are still around who still give. You know, I

1156
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 2: hope my daughter can can spread it out like that

1157
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 2: too one day, and I hope it can pass it

1158
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 2: on to help other people one day. And I hope

1159
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 2: she's very sensitive, so I know she knows the value

1160
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 2: in helping people. And I think that's the real message

1161
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 2: in it all, because we can't take it with us,

1162
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,359
Speaker 2: you know, and you go and God calls us. There's

1163
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 2: no U haul behind us bringing it all with us.

1164
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 2: The Burkens, the cars, the homes, I don't really matter.

1165
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 2: And you know what I learned about money, but I

1166
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 2: don't give a shit about it. After I lost the

1167
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,439
Speaker 2: person I love the most, I'd give it all back

1168
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 2: just to have him back. You know.

1169
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:11,760
Speaker 3: That was beautiful, baby.

1170
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 2: I love you. You know That's that's really what it's about.

1171
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 2: Because people look at your life and they're like, she

1172
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 2: married a rich guy. Okay, she got great friends, she

1173
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 2: got this, But listen, my friends are all the same

1174
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 2: as me. See. Money is just relative for all of us, right,

1175
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 2: But putting money aside. It's success. We're not looking to

1176
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 2: say I want you to be your best and you

1177
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 2: so you can make the most money in the world.

1178
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 3: No, nobody says that.

1179
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 2: Nobody says that.

1180
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 3: Money is a thing, though I know it is.

1181
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 2: I know it's a thing, but it's it's a thing

1182
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 2: that's it's the thing that it makes life easier. Certainly

1183
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 2: can make life easier. It is a thing that exists.

1184
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 2: It can affect certain people. We know that, we've seen it,

1185
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 2: we're seeing it live right now, right But it's also

1186
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 2: a thing that can hurt others in the ways if

1187
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 2: it's used wrong. And I think it's it's how you

1188
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:03,919
Speaker 2: use it, It's how you see it, It's how you treat it,

1189
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 2: it's how you For me, it's like I don't want

1190
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 2: to touch it. I just wanted to keep growing, be

1191
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 2: the custodian of it. Someway, what do you still want

1192
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 2: to do? I want to do something that'll make Jair

1193
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,399
Speaker 2: so proud with this company. I want to be able

1194
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 2: to make a big pivot. I want to be able

1195
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 2: to make a pivot. I'm not even sure I'm ready

1196
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 2: for it, but I'm going for I want all of

1197
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 2: us to do that.

1198
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 3: How do you know when somebody's got it?

1199
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: Because you fostered a lot of talent leaders, you've made

1200
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: other millionaires. How do you know when somebody's got the thing?

1201
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 2: I think when people have vision, when people can see

1202
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 2: things before they happen, and they're nervous, and they get

1203
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 2: that anxiety. I have anxiety every day. I wake up

1204
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 2: with anxiety. I never have before, you know, because I

1205
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,400
Speaker 2: didn't have to think about it by myself. Now I

1206
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 2: wake up and I think, I got to pay nine

1207
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 2: hundred employees. Got to make sure all these thousands of

1208
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 2: people are paid every week every Friday, you know, our salespeople.

1209
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 2: I got to make sure that the business is growing.

1210
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 2: E Commerce is not just the way any anymore. And

1211
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:04,760
Speaker 2: so I have anxiety every day. I have anxiety about

1212
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 2: what the future looks like. How do I keep up

1213
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: with technology? How do I keep up with AI AI?

1214
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 2: How do any of us you know? Yet? I still

1215
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,240
Speaker 2: believe in my heart of hearts, a human touch matters,

1216
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 2: and that you cannot replace a touch, a hug, love,

1217
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 2: or life in that capacity, And so I think we

1218
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 2: need both. How do we win by mixing both? How

1219
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 2: do we win by getting where we need to go

1220
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 2: by using the best of technology and the best of people.

1221
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 2: And so when I say how do I know that

1222
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 2: people have it because I look to see how much

1223
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 2: research they do, how much they want to know, how

1224
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 2: much they're looking at. What do they see like? For me,

1225
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 2: I spend my days, my team will tell you, I

1226
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 2: spend my days worrying about what the future looks like,

1227
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:53,240
Speaker 2: but not worrying about it, investigating it, researching it, learning

1228
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 2: about it. I'm taking right now AI classes me. I'm

1229
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 2: taking six AI classes a week to learn AI. I

1230
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 2: do that because I want to be better at it.

1231
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 2: I can't just rely on the guy at work to

1232
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:06,799
Speaker 2: do it. The people who you know were gonna make

1233
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,799
Speaker 2: it are the ones who are doing that. And then

1234
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 2: there's always that occasional group of people who work with

1235
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,440
Speaker 2: you who are willing to do it too, and the

1236
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 2: ones who are out the door when you're talking about

1237
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 2: something important or they can't be there. You know, you

1238
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 2: just know, and that's okay. Not everybody will be as

1239
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 2: invested as you are. It's not their role too, okay.

1240
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 3: In real life, if today was your last day on earth,

1241
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 3: what would you be doing?

1242
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 2: Calling my kids, my daughter, my grandkids, hugging them, loving them,

1243
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 2: telling them how much I love them.

1244
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 1: What is have you figured out your real life purpose

1245
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: while you're here.

1246
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 2: To help other people? Help other people, whether it be

1247
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 2: through grief, and help them realize that there still can

1248
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 2: be a way to get through this and survive and

1249
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 2: there's still light at the end of this. And also

1250
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 2: to help people succeed to become the best version of them.

1251
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 1: What has been the most important pivot that you've had

1252
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 1: to make in your life, in your real life and

1253
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 1: maybe in your business life.

1254
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 2: Well, obviously in our business life is the transition of AI.

1255
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 2: I hate the thought of replacing people with technology. I

1256
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 2: struggle with that. I struggle with it because I believe

1257
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 2: in human touch. I believe that we need that and

1258
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 2: that we need human connection to survive. And so although

1259
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 2: I love where the future's going with AI, I resist

1260
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 2: it some because of human nature. I prefer to be

1261
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 2: with people. That's a struggle for me. But I'm learning

1262
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 2: to deal with it internally and doing the right thing

1263
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 2: still and having a good balance.

1264
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 1: You know what's so interesting about that, as you're friending

1265
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 1: somebody who knows you, uh, you are never afraid to

1266
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 1: keep learning, Like you were telling me.

1267
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:53,560
Speaker 2: I'm my six classes a week right now for AI,

1268
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 2: but I think I'm crazy. All my friends are like,

1269
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 2: I want to take it with you. My office is

1270
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 2: so jealous. I teach them stuff every day. But for me,

1271
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 2: I keep growing all the time. I'm always learning, I'm

1272
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: always taking in class and that helps fill some of

1273
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 2: my sad times, you know, because I never have a

1274
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 2: free moment. People are like, hey, are you free this week.

1275
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:13,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not free till sometime next year, but

1276
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 2: I will make the time. I'm always filling empty space

1277
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 2: with things because I know empty space is a danger

1278
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 2: zone for me in grief. It's a danger zone that says,

1279
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:28,439
Speaker 2: uh oh, big speed bumps ahead. When you're alone. Things hurt,

1280
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 2: But don't you have to have these I do. I

1281
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 2: have them. They're often there. You can't feel every moment,

1282
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 2: so sometimes it's the moment of me going in the shower.

1283
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 2: I often cry a lot in the shower because it's

1284
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 2: quiet and nobody's screaming Lauren, we need you, Mom, me

1285
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 2: and me, where are you? You know? Or my office

1286
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 2: is not calling. And the biggest pivot for me personally

1287
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 2: is having to grow up and learn the things I

1288
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 2: didn't know that, you know, learning to live alone has

1289
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 2: been a big one. Living alone and having a quiet

1290
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 2: house sometimes and walking through that house and seeing thoughts

1291
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 2: of my former life, my life before with Lauren and Jr.

1292
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 2: That's sad for me. And having to pivot and see

1293
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 2: the world with different glasses and different vision. And I'm

1294
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 2: trying to do that. I'm working on that all the time.

1295
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know it all innately right now.

1296
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 2: I'm working on me.

1297
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 3: Are there any positive sides to grief?

1298
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 2: Knowing that love is that grand, that great, knowing that

1299
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 2: the universal language, the only thing that matters at the

1300
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:40,640
Speaker 2: end of the day is love, you know. I we

1301
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 2: can't take any of this shit with us. And if

1302
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 2: people put as much time in their relationships, they end

1303
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 2: up they would end up even being more successful in

1304
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 2: their business. That's the funny thing, because when things are

1305
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 2: successful at home, we succeed at the things we want

1306
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 2: to do. That's why Jared and I were always so clear, like,

1307
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 2: have to be good before we go to bed, because

1308
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 2: we can't have a successful day tomorrow. If we'd have

1309
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,440
Speaker 2: a fight, knock down, drag out. He'd be like, before

1310
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 2: we get in that bedroom. We gotta fix it or

1311
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 2: fix it in the bedroom.

1312
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?

1313
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:14,960
Speaker 2: Because if you don't fix things, you can't be right

1314
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:17,720
Speaker 2: the next day. And if you work on having a

1315
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 2: great relationship with your children and a great relationship with

1316
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:24,960
Speaker 2: your husband and your grandchildren like I do, then you

1317
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 2: find a way to survive no matter what, and you

1318
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 2: can still thrive. And I think that's what I've been

1319
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 2: doing very well. And God's probably gonna give me a

1320
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 2: long life and make me stick around for a long time.

1321
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 2: Have I gotta I just kinda go. I gotta find

1322
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 2: a way to navigate through it. And that's what I'm

1323
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:44,040
Speaker 2: gonna do. That's what I'm doing.

1324
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:47,120
Speaker 3: One a Jr's favorite My favorite quotes of JR.

1325
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:50,320
Speaker 2: Is the dash and go just to do? What are

1326
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 2: you going to do with the dash?

1327
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 3: Make sure two mates right? What is the quote?

1328
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 2: Is that? A birthdate and a death date at the cemetery?

1329
01:01:58,680 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 1: You know?

1330
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 2: He took me to a cemetery and my second date.

1331
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 2: He took me out and pulled up the ceminary and said, hey,

1332
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:04,960
Speaker 2: get out of the car. I was like, what are

1333
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 2: we doing?

1334
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 3: This is your second date?

1335
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 2: My second day Greensboro, North Carolina and he was driving

1336
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,760
Speaker 2: like eighty five miles an hour down the road. I

1337
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 2: was like, I'm not sure if you know this, cause

1338
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 2: you're not from Greensboro and I'd lived there for a

1339
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 2: while by now. I was like, it's thirty five miles

1340
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 2: an hour here. He's like, well, that's okay. If I

1341
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 2: had a license, i'd go faster, you know, JR. That's

1342
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 2: exactly what he would do. And uh, he was going

1343
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 2: so fast and I said, where are we going? He said,

1344
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 2: it's a surprise. That's like a surprise. What are you

1345
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 2: talking about as a surprise. We pulled up it was

1346
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 2: a cemetery. I said, well, I don't know what kind

1347
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 2: of surprise this is. Now it's starting to think I

1348
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 2: was in danger. M really danger guy. No, I thought

1349
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 2: I was going to die. I thought he was crazy,

1350
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,160
Speaker 2: and I was unsure because he was nervous energy and

1351
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 2: I think he was nervous going eighty five miles an

1352
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 2: hour down Wendover Avenue in Greensboro and he said get out.

1353
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 2: It's like for what He's like, just get out. Pick

1354
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 2: any one of them walking up and down them, Pick

1355
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,439
Speaker 2: any one of them. I was like, okay, that one

1356
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,120
Speaker 2: he's like, what do you tell me about that one?

1357
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know, I don't know him.

1358
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 2: He's like, no, what does it say? I was like,

1359
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:12,360
Speaker 2: he goes, every one of them have a birthday and

1360
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 2: everyone have a death date, and there's a little line

1361
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 2: in between, and all that matters is that line in between,

1362
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,560
Speaker 2: you know what? That represent their life, their journey. Most

1363
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 2: of these people in this cemetery the most talented people,

1364
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:26,800
Speaker 2: except none of us ever heard of them because they

1365
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 2: never did anything with it. Somebody told them they couldn't

1366
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 2: do it, they weren't capable, and they believed them. Don't

1367
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 2: be one of them. Let's go live our life. You

1368
01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 2: and I are going on a journey together. This is

1369
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:44,320
Speaker 2: the second day a date, second date. He must have

1370
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 2: really liked me, and I must have really liked him,

1371
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 2: because at that moment, I think, by the time I

1372
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 2: walked to the car and I fell in love with them.

1373
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 2: At that very moment, I thought I have a real

1374
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 2: lunatic on my hands, and I did. He used to say,

1375
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 2: yet one flew over the whockoo's nest. Baby, I'm Jack Nicholson,

1376
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:05,120
Speaker 2: and your nurse prechities to say, get in the car.

1377
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 2: It's like, well, if you're going to do this with me,

1378
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 2: we're going on a journey and all that matters in

1379
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 2: our life is we fill up the dash. And you know,

1380
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 2: at our thirtieth convention, the last final words that he

1381
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:22,040
Speaker 2: had said was is if you do something great with

1382
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:26,160
Speaker 2: your life, and you fill up that dash with beautiful things,

1383
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,360
Speaker 2: and you go places with your kids, and you do

1384
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:31,480
Speaker 2: the things that you want to do, and you help

1385
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 2: people succeed in their life and reach out to people

1386
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 2: when they need you, then when it's your time to go,

1387
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 2: you don't feel so bad about leaving.

1388
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 3: Wow, that's true.

1389
01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:49,120
Speaker 2: Scrambled or Sunny said, go get the buck.

1390
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 3: What do you hope people get from them?

1391
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:51,040
Speaker 1: Oh?

1392
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 2: I hope they find a better version of themselves by

1393
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 2: the end of it. I hope they remember the teacher.

1394
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 2: I hope they remember what he said. I hope to

1395
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:03,440
Speaker 2: remember that their husband or their daughter thought of the

1396
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 2: same thing of them. I hope they look in the

1397
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:08,080
Speaker 2: mirror and they say, you know what, I can do this.

1398
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 2: I believe in myself. I want to write my husband

1399
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 2: a letter today. I want to write my wife a

1400
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:14,440
Speaker 2: letter today. I want to say thank you more. I

1401
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 2: want to be more. I want to do more, and

1402
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 2: I want to see the good in people. Live that dash.

1403
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 2: Make that line me be more than a line. Make

1404
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 2: sure that nobody tells you who you can be or

1405
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 2: who you can't be. That's what the book's about. That's

1406
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:31,560
Speaker 2: what I hope people get out of it.

1407
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 1: I love that you ended at that way because I

1408
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 1: believe the best version of you is it's still in

1409
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 1: front of you.

1410
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:43,280
Speaker 2: Well, we don't cheers the water, but I have a

1411
01:05:43,320 --> 01:05:44,320
Speaker 2: sip for that. I love you.

1412
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 3: Can we get some shots?

1413
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need a shot.

1414
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:51,160
Speaker 3: Christian, the amazing Lauren Ritinger.

1415
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:54,560
Speaker 2: Here's to all of you guys, to everybody being the

1416
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,320
Speaker 2: best version of themselves.

1417
01:05:56,640 --> 01:06:05,160
Speaker 3: I love that salute. Edge Martinez in Real Life Podcast