WEBVTT - DELILAH DILEMMAS: 

0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Hey It's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have

0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:09.480
<v Speaker 1>put together some of my favorite radio moments here to

0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:19.720
<v Speaker 1>share with you on our daily podcast through Hey It's Delilah.

0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:22.320
<v Speaker 1>Come on in and make yourself at home as we

0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:29.000
<v Speaker 1>share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when

0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.239
<v Speaker 1>people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and

0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:35.760
<v Speaker 1>need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay

0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:42.199
<v Speaker 1>tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is

0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:44.120
<v Speaker 1>from a listener who says, I have a pretty rough

0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.560
<v Speaker 1>dilemma that I cannot seem to see from the outside

0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:50.760
<v Speaker 1>because I'm just too close to the situation. I've been

0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:54.160
<v Speaker 1>married to the same man for almost seven years. While

0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:58.040
<v Speaker 1>I love him, I fear I am falling out of

0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:01.800
<v Speaker 1>love with him. I care about this man, just not

0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:05.040
<v Speaker 1>the way I used to. I have been trying to

0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.360
<v Speaker 1>tell him, but I always see the hurt in his

0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:12.280
<v Speaker 1>eyes and I back down. I feel bad for hurting him.

0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:16.240
<v Speaker 1>I have a habit of not sharing my honest feelings

0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.920
<v Speaker 1>with people who could be hurt by those feelings. I

0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.200
<v Speaker 1>know that I should be completely open, but I don't

0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:24.440
<v Speaker 1>feel it's possible, because I know it's going to hurt him.

0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:27.320
<v Speaker 1>While I'm not happy, I'm not in love anymore. I

0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.280
<v Speaker 1>do have a heart and he's a part of it.

0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:32.679
<v Speaker 1>I really need to get through this somehow. How can

0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.360
<v Speaker 1>I do this? I know that it is not fair

0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:39.440
<v Speaker 1>to either of us to keep pretending. Please help me, Delilah.

0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:42.400
<v Speaker 1>I cannot take the hurt in my own heart anymore.

0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:52.280
<v Speaker 1>Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a listener who has been

0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.400
<v Speaker 1>married seven years and is no longer in love with

0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:58.720
<v Speaker 1>her husband. She says she feels bad because she knows

0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:02.400
<v Speaker 1>she's going to hurt him, but it's killing her to

0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:06.400
<v Speaker 1>pretend like she's in love. Here is my best advice.

0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.800
<v Speaker 1>You need to get honest. You need to get honest

0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:14.800
<v Speaker 1>with yourself. You don't say what has caused you to

0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.160
<v Speaker 1>fall out of love with him. It could be something

0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:21.120
<v Speaker 1>you need counseling for. It could be that you're not

0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:23.960
<v Speaker 1>really falling out of love with him, but you're suffering depression,

0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.040
<v Speaker 1>or you're going through a change in your own life,

0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:32.160
<v Speaker 1>your own body, which is affecting your emotions. You need

0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:35.160
<v Speaker 1>to try to figure out what it is that is

0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:39.480
<v Speaker 1>killing the love. The passion, the joy that you once

0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:44.760
<v Speaker 1>felt in your marriage. You need to address that, and

0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:47.360
<v Speaker 1>then you need to talk to a counselor to see

0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:52.320
<v Speaker 1>what is your best options, what you should do. But

0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:57.480
<v Speaker 1>just being miserable and twisted up inside and pretending and

0:02:57.520 --> 0:02:59.600
<v Speaker 1>living a lie is going to drive you nuts and

0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:11.040
<v Speaker 1>everybody else around you nuts. So get honest. Tonight's letter

0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:13.919
<v Speaker 1>comes from Jessica. She says, I'm nineteen years old and

0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.519
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting ready to go to college, so I don't

0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.920
<v Speaker 1>really want to have a relationship in my life, but

0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:23.360
<v Speaker 1>I do want to date someone. I am in a

0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:28.120
<v Speaker 1>relationship with Robbie, who is in one state, and Antonio,

0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:33.600
<v Speaker 1>who is in another. Both of these relationships are online

0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:38.360
<v Speaker 1>internet phone relationships. I don't want to hurt either one

0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:41.760
<v Speaker 1>of them. Robbie is a get in trouble kind of guy,

0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.400
<v Speaker 1>but he says he loves me and he moves fast.

0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.320
<v Speaker 1>He says he works, but I don't really know what

0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:50.720
<v Speaker 1>it is he's into or the what he does. Antonio

0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:53.680
<v Speaker 1>says he wants to take it slow, doesn't get in

0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.320
<v Speaker 1>a lot of trouble. He says he works, and he

0:03:57.440 --> 0:04:00.440
<v Speaker 1>seems to be into some of the things I am.

0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.480
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm making a mistake by dating online and

0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:06.400
<v Speaker 1>dating more than one person at a time. Please help me.

0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:10.520
<v Speaker 1>I've never been in a situation like this before, Jessica. Jessica, Jessica,

0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:24.480
<v Speaker 1>I will have my words for you, young lady. Coming up next,

0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma from Jessica, a nineteen year old who

0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:33.040
<v Speaker 1>is off to college and finds herself in two relationships

0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:36.920
<v Speaker 1>to different relationships with two men she's never met, both

0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:42.640
<v Speaker 1>of them online relationships. Jessica, stop it, stop it, stop it,

0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:48.080
<v Speaker 1>young lady. You need to figure out who you are.

0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:52.039
<v Speaker 1>You need to live your life in the present, in

0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:55.599
<v Speaker 1>the here and now, and in your own skin, not

0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.480
<v Speaker 1>in some virtual pretend relationships with people you don't even know.

0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.640
<v Speaker 1>You can't say you love them when you don't know them,

0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:06.919
<v Speaker 1>and when you're seeing two of them simultaneously and not

0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:14.320
<v Speaker 1>even seeing them. Jessica, focus on yourself, Focus on who

0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:18.120
<v Speaker 1>you are, Focus on what matters to you. Find your

0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:21.520
<v Speaker 1>passions in school, what it is you want to study,

0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:23.599
<v Speaker 1>What do you want to do, What do you want

0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.240
<v Speaker 1>to give to the world, What do you want to accomplish,

0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Who do you want to touch, do you want to

0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:33.479
<v Speaker 1>help children. Do you want to help animals? Do you

0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:37.920
<v Speaker 1>want to change the laws so there's more fairness? Do

0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:42.960
<v Speaker 1>you want to stop the insanity going on all around you?

0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:46.680
<v Speaker 1>What do you want to do in your life in

0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:54.200
<v Speaker 1>your future? Focus on these things, Focus on giving back

0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:58.000
<v Speaker 1>to the world and sharing all the goodness that God

0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.679
<v Speaker 1>placed on you. And if you will put your focus

0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:06.320
<v Speaker 1>on that, you won't have time for pretend romances on

0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.159
<v Speaker 1>the internet. You won't have energy to be talking to

0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:13.560
<v Speaker 1>two different boys simultaneously that you don't even know. You

0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:16.880
<v Speaker 1>don't even know what they do. Shut off your phone,

0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:20.760
<v Speaker 1>set it down, stop texting them, stop rushing to get

0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:27.080
<v Speaker 1>your emails, and go live life fully, Jessica, that's my

0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:37.360
<v Speaker 1>best mom advice. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a woman

0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:39.720
<v Speaker 1>who is in a bad situation and she needs a

0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:43.040
<v Speaker 1>little help. She says, My story started out twelve years ago.

0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:45.800
<v Speaker 1>I was a single mom dating my now husband. He

0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.920
<v Speaker 1>was very good to me. I found myself pregnant. After

0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:50.760
<v Speaker 1>a little over a year, we had the baby, and

0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.720
<v Speaker 1>then we married. We now have two children together, and

0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:57.119
<v Speaker 1>I have a daughter from my first marriage. Over the years,

0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:00.480
<v Speaker 1>I have found several things I absolutely despise in him.

0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:04.479
<v Speaker 1>He is prone to excessive anger with my daughter. He

0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:08.320
<v Speaker 1>smokes marijuana on a daily basis. He treats our boys

0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:14.000
<v Speaker 1>completely differently. My daughter absolutely hates him. I know it's

0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:16.560
<v Speaker 1>probably in my best interest to divorce him, but I

0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.280
<v Speaker 1>don't have the money, and truthfully, I don't know how

0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:22.320
<v Speaker 1>to make those words come out of my mouth. Now.

0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.960
<v Speaker 1>He wants to move us away from family, back to

0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:28.520
<v Speaker 1>where he thinks life is more successful. I don't know

0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:32.200
<v Speaker 1>what to do. My family says, leave him, My brain says,

0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:36.600
<v Speaker 1>my boys will resent me. Please help me. I'm absolutely lost.

0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.360
<v Speaker 1>From Holly, Holly, I will have my words of advice,

0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:42.960
<v Speaker 1>and please listen to what I'm going to say that's

0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:53.400
<v Speaker 1>coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a woman

0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.800
<v Speaker 1>who's been married twelve years to a man who abuses

0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.880
<v Speaker 1>her daughter from a previous marriage and gets high on

0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:03.320
<v Speaker 1>a daily basis. HOLLYE, Run, do not walk, do not pass, go,

0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.640
<v Speaker 1>do not collect two hundred dollars, Run to an Alanon

0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:11.000
<v Speaker 1>or a Naranon meeting today and do it again tomorrow,

0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.280
<v Speaker 1>and do it again the day after, and do it

0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:17.920
<v Speaker 1>again the day after, and continue going to Alanon or

0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Naranon meetings. Why because you're married to an addict and

0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:27.200
<v Speaker 1>your life is completely unmanageable because of somebody else's addiction,

0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:32.760
<v Speaker 1>and leaving him is not going to solve the problem

0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.440
<v Speaker 1>because he is the father of your children, so he's

0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:38.240
<v Speaker 1>still going to be involved in your life. There may

0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.240
<v Speaker 1>be come a time when you need to leave him,

0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.480
<v Speaker 1>and you will know when that time is. But the

0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:45.079
<v Speaker 1>first thing you need to do, Holly, is take care

0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.199
<v Speaker 1>of you. And you need to learn about the disease

0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:51.560
<v Speaker 1>of addiction, and you need to learn how to set

0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.640
<v Speaker 1>healthy boundaries, how to find your serenity, how to parent

0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.320
<v Speaker 1>your children effectively, how to protect your daughter. And the

0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:03.160
<v Speaker 1>best place to learn all those tools is in naran

0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:07.720
<v Speaker 1>On Narcotics Anonymous Narnon which is for family members of addicts,

0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:11.120
<v Speaker 1>or Alanon, which is a twelve step program for family

0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.640
<v Speaker 1>members or friends of alcoholics. But addiction is addiction, whether

0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:19.880
<v Speaker 1>it's marijuana or alcohol. So both meetings are successful. They're anonymous,

0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:22.800
<v Speaker 1>they're free, and you can find them online. And I

0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:26.439
<v Speaker 1>would not hesitate. I would go tonight, good luck and

0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:31.800
<v Speaker 1>God bless you. I so hope you have enjoyed these

0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:35.080
<v Speaker 1>radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you,

0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.200
<v Speaker 1>I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's

0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:46.720
<v Speaker 1>Delilah