Speaker 1: Hey It's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
Speaker 1: put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
Speaker 1: share with you on our daily podcast through Hey It's Delilah.
Speaker 1: Come on in and make yourself at home as we
Speaker 1: share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when
Speaker 1: people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and
Speaker 1: need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay
Speaker 1: tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
Speaker 1: from a listener who says, I have a pretty rough
Speaker 1: dilemma that I cannot seem to see from the outside
Speaker 1: because I'm just too close to the situation. I've been
Speaker 1: married to the same man for almost seven years. While
Speaker 1: I love him, I fear I am falling out of
Speaker 1: love with him. I care about this man, just not
Speaker 1: the way I used to. I have been trying to
Speaker 1: tell him, but I always see the hurt in his
Speaker 1: eyes and I back down. I feel bad for hurting him.
Speaker 1: I have a habit of not sharing my honest feelings
Speaker 1: with people who could be hurt by those feelings. I
Speaker 1: know that I should be completely open, but I don't
Speaker 1: feel it's possible, because I know it's going to hurt him.
Speaker 1: While I'm not happy, I'm not in love anymore. I
Speaker 1: do have a heart and he's a part of it.
Speaker 1: I really need to get through this somehow. How can
Speaker 1: I do this? I know that it is not fair
Speaker 1: to either of us to keep pretending. Please help me, Delilah.
Speaker 1: I cannot take the hurt in my own heart anymore.
Speaker 1: Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a listener who has been
Speaker 1: married seven years and is no longer in love with
Speaker 1: her husband. She says she feels bad because she knows
Speaker 1: she's going to hurt him, but it's killing her to
Speaker 1: pretend like she's in love. Here is my best advice.
Speaker 1: You need to get honest. You need to get honest
Speaker 1: with yourself. You don't say what has caused you to
Speaker 1: fall out of love with him. It could be something
Speaker 1: you need counseling for. It could be that you're not
Speaker 1: really falling out of love with him, but you're suffering depression,
Speaker 1: or you're going through a change in your own life,
Speaker 1: your own body, which is affecting your emotions. You need
Speaker 1: to try to figure out what it is that is
Speaker 1: killing the love. The passion, the joy that you once
Speaker 1: felt in your marriage. You need to address that, and
Speaker 1: then you need to talk to a counselor to see
Speaker 1: what is your best options, what you should do. But
Speaker 1: just being miserable and twisted up inside and pretending and
Speaker 1: living a lie is going to drive you nuts and
Speaker 1: everybody else around you nuts. So get honest. Tonight's letter
Speaker 1: comes from Jessica. She says, I'm nineteen years old and
Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to go to college, so I don't
Speaker 1: really want to have a relationship in my life, but
Speaker 1: I do want to date someone. I am in a
Speaker 1: relationship with Robbie, who is in one state, and Antonio,
Speaker 1: who is in another. Both of these relationships are online
Speaker 1: internet phone relationships. I don't want to hurt either one
Speaker 1: of them. Robbie is a get in trouble kind of guy,
Speaker 1: but he says he loves me and he moves fast.
Speaker 1: He says he works, but I don't really know what
Speaker 1: it is he's into or the what he does. Antonio
Speaker 1: says he wants to take it slow, doesn't get in
Speaker 1: a lot of trouble. He says he works, and he
Speaker 1: seems to be into some of the things I am.
Speaker 1: I think I'm making a mistake by dating online and
Speaker 1: dating more than one person at a time. Please help me.
Speaker 1: I've never been in a situation like this before, Jessica. Jessica, Jessica,
Speaker 1: I will have my words for you, young lady. Coming up next,
Speaker 1: Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma from Jessica, a nineteen year old who
Speaker 1: is off to college and finds herself in two relationships
Speaker 1: to different relationships with two men she's never met, both
Speaker 1: of them online relationships. Jessica, stop it, stop it, stop it,
Speaker 1: young lady. You need to figure out who you are.
Speaker 1: You need to live your life in the present, in
Speaker 1: the here and now, and in your own skin, not
Speaker 1: in some virtual pretend relationships with people you don't even know.
Speaker 1: You can't say you love them when you don't know them,
Speaker 1: and when you're seeing two of them simultaneously and not
Speaker 1: even seeing them. Jessica, focus on yourself, Focus on who
Speaker 1: you are, Focus on what matters to you. Find your
Speaker 1: passions in school, what it is you want to study,
Speaker 1: What do you want to do, What do you want
Speaker 1: to give to the world, What do you want to accomplish,
Speaker 1: Who do you want to touch, do you want to
Speaker 1: help children. Do you want to help animals? Do you
Speaker 1: want to change the laws so there's more fairness? Do
Speaker 1: you want to stop the insanity going on all around you?
Speaker 1: What do you want to do in your life in
Speaker 1: your future? Focus on these things, Focus on giving back
Speaker 1: to the world and sharing all the goodness that God
Speaker 1: placed on you. And if you will put your focus
Speaker 1: on that, you won't have time for pretend romances on
Speaker 1: the internet. You won't have energy to be talking to
Speaker 1: two different boys simultaneously that you don't even know. You
Speaker 1: don't even know what they do. Shut off your phone,
Speaker 1: set it down, stop texting them, stop rushing to get
Speaker 1: your emails, and go live life fully, Jessica, that's my
Speaker 1: best mom advice. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a woman
Speaker 1: who is in a bad situation and she needs a
Speaker 1: little help. She says, My story started out twelve years ago.
Speaker 1: I was a single mom dating my now husband. He
Speaker 1: was very good to me. I found myself pregnant. After
Speaker 1: a little over a year, we had the baby, and
Speaker 1: then we married. We now have two children together, and
Speaker 1: I have a daughter from my first marriage. Over the years,
Speaker 1: I have found several things I absolutely despise in him.
Speaker 1: He is prone to excessive anger with my daughter. He
Speaker 1: smokes marijuana on a daily basis. He treats our boys
Speaker 1: completely differently. My daughter absolutely hates him. I know it's
Speaker 1: probably in my best interest to divorce him, but I
Speaker 1: don't have the money, and truthfully, I don't know how
Speaker 1: to make those words come out of my mouth. Now.
Speaker 1: He wants to move us away from family, back to
Speaker 1: where he thinks life is more successful. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do. My family says, leave him, My brain says,
Speaker 1: my boys will resent me. Please help me. I'm absolutely lost.
Speaker 1: From Holly, Holly, I will have my words of advice,
Speaker 1: and please listen to what I'm going to say that's
Speaker 1: coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a woman
Speaker 1: who's been married twelve years to a man who abuses
Speaker 1: her daughter from a previous marriage and gets high on
Speaker 1: a daily basis. HOLLYE, Run, do not walk, do not pass, go,
Speaker 1: do not collect two hundred dollars, Run to an Alanon
Speaker 1: or a Naranon meeting today and do it again tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and do it again the day after, and do it
Speaker 1: again the day after, and continue going to Alanon or
Speaker 1: Naranon meetings. Why because you're married to an addict and
Speaker 1: your life is completely unmanageable because of somebody else's addiction,
Speaker 1: and leaving him is not going to solve the problem
Speaker 1: because he is the father of your children, so he's
Speaker 1: still going to be involved in your life. There may
Speaker 1: be come a time when you need to leave him,
Speaker 1: and you will know when that time is. But the
Speaker 1: first thing you need to do, Holly, is take care
Speaker 1: of you. And you need to learn about the disease
Speaker 1: of addiction, and you need to learn how to set
Speaker 1: healthy boundaries, how to find your serenity, how to parent
Speaker 1: your children effectively, how to protect your daughter. And the
Speaker 1: best place to learn all those tools is in naran
Speaker 1: On Narcotics Anonymous Narnon which is for family members of addicts,
Speaker 1: or Alanon, which is a twelve step program for family
Speaker 1: members or friends of alcoholics. But addiction is addiction, whether
Speaker 1: it's marijuana or alcohol. So both meetings are successful. They're anonymous,
Speaker 1: they're free, and you can find them online. And I
Speaker 1: would not hesitate. I would go tonight, good luck and
Speaker 1: God bless you. I so hope you have enjoyed these
Speaker 1: radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you,
Speaker 1: I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey it's
Speaker 1: Delilah