WEBVTT - #136 It's hard to stop this addiction 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.560 Now we can talk about your last question, getting your 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:08.239 mind off of the pills, and that is going to 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:13.319 come from a root knowledge, a foundation in your life 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:29.479 of something that's better than pills. Hey, everybody, Welcome to 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:31.920 the Grangersmith Podcast, the time when I get to sit 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.760 down with y'all and just talk about life, answering your questions. 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:39.000 If you have a question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:42.760 at gmail dot com. I love doing this. We sit 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.560 down like we're in the cab of a truck driving 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.159 on a road trip, and you say, hey, man, could 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:51.440 I run something past, Just something I've been thinking about, 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.680 an idea I have, or a question I have, And 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:57.680 I'm not always righting my answers, but I'll just feed 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.760 it to you as if we're friends, and I would 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:02.800 hope the same from you, and in fact, I know 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:05.280 that I would get the same from you. My day 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:07.679 gets so busy, you know, I'm do an after midnight 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:12.280 radio show, doing the Smiths touring, making music, making a 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:15.039 soundtrack for this movie I'm working on right now. So 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:17.600 if all the moving parts that I have in my life, 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:20.080 this is the time when I get to just stop 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:23.920 and breathe for a second and go over these questions. 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:26.400 So I'm gonna pull up my inbox from this email. 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:29.479 I'm gonna randomly pick them. I don't have any notes 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:32.360 in front of me, so everything that you hear is 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:33.760 going to be the top of my head. And like 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.760 I said, it might not be right, but it's just 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:41.200 two friends talking. Okay, here we go. First question, subject 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:45.280 line is called my question. That's it. Hey Grangeer, my 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:47.560 name is Dustin. I'd love to start off by saying 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.360 I'm a huge fan of the podcast and your music. 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:53.120 Thank you so much. I've been I'll be seeing you 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:56.360 May twentieth in Nebraska. Awesomebody. I saw you in Lincoln, 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:59.880 Nebraska in December of twenty twenty one. My question is 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:04.400 what are some good ways that you could move past 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:08.639 a relationship. I was with someone for seven years that 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.079 just came to an end. I'm looking for a little advice. 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:15.560 Thanks again, love all you do. Yee Dustin. Okay, now 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:17.760 I'm talking about heartbreak here, talking about moving on from 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:22.320 a past relationship, and you're asking me my advice for 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:26.680 practical ways to get past this. So we're not talking 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:31.760 deep emotional theological answers. We're just going practical. I'm going 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:33.919 to say this. I'm gonna say, let's see, you said 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:36.640 you were with someone for seven years and just came 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.200 to an end, so this is new. First of all, 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:44.960 I want to say, Dustin, I don't recommend anyone anyone 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:49.680 is in a relationship for seven years. The longest I 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:53.040 was in before Amber was three years, and I don't 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:56.280 recommend that either. I was lost back then. Okay, So 0:02:57.160 --> 0:02:59.440 I don't think it takes that long, guys. I think 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.880 I think of a year is a good that's a 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:08.160 good twelve month round number of deciding whether this is 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:11.040 your the person you want to marry or not. And 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.760 I say that in a way that I feel like 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:18.280 you should start dating whenever you're in a place when 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:22.680 you feel like you're ready to meet a spouse. So 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.200 you don't really start seriously dating. And I'm not talking 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:29.360 about going out and having a movie or a dinner 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:31.880 with somebody and some friends and getting to know somebody. 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:34.760 I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a serious 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:39.320 we're exclusive. It's been a long time. We're five months 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:41.680 into this thing. We're not seeing anybody else. This is 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:45.680 an exclusive, go and steady relationship. I don't think we 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:49.800 should start that until we say, Okay, I am now 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:53.480 looking for my spouse, for my future spouse. I'm on 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:56.480 a mission to find my future spouse. And so when 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.000 you're ready for that in your life, then you can 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:03.960 systematically go through these the dating courting process and go Okay, 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.480 this one seems good. This one seems like we have 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.200 a lot going a lot in common, and we have 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:12.160 we're aligned on a lot of different things. I'm very attracted. 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.040 So I'm now I'm gonna I'm gonna get in this boat. 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.760 I'm gonna sail it until I know that yes or no. 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.240 And I don't think that's going to take longer than 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:26.279 a year. So people these days, we extend it so long, 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.720 and people live together and you even make babies together. 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:31.719 I get these questions all the time on this podcast, 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:36.440 and it typically just doesn't work. If you're with someone 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.480 for seven years. I could have told you, Dustin, this 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.040 is probably not gonna work. Man. You're you're six and 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:44.880 a half seven years into this, and you haven't popped 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:47.520 the question. For whatever reason. I don't know the reason, 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:50.640 but for whatever reason you haven't popped the question, it's 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:55.040 probably not gonna happen. Now, there's always exceptions to all this, 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:58.640 like people will email me or they'll comment on TikTok 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:03.080 and go, you're wrong. I dated my wife, my current wife, 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:06.080 for twelve years and now we've been married for fifteen 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.919 and we're happy. Okay, get it. There's always exceptions, But 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.960 I'm saying in general, I think it takes about a 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.920 year to find out. No more like if you're two 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:16.800 years down the road, three years down the road in 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:20.360 a relationship and you're still not sure if that's your spouse, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.640 And when I say not sure, how do you know, Well, 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:26.400 you haven't popped the question yet, then you should probably 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.800 get off get off the horse like it's not going anywhere, 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.480 or pop the question. But one of the two things 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:36.359 needs to happen. So that's what I think. First us 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:40.200 into seven years is too long. That doesn't help you 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:44.000 because this already happened. But secondly, I would say just 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:49.000 practically systematically, stay in groups of people, don't spend too 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.560 much time alone. Right now, alone is when you're gonna 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.360 get caught in your thoughts and you're gonna get sad 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.080 and depressed, and you're gonna think about her, and you're 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:58.200 gonna think about what you could have done differently. So 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:01.039 I would say stay in groups and stay busy. So 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.039 call up your friends and go what are y'all doing 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:05.840 Friday night? We're all hanging at so and so's house. 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:09.440 I'm coming over there and get with those people, get 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.839 in the middle of them, and get busy. You gotta 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:15.320 get busy, get dig into whatever hobby you have. This 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:17.560 is a good time to get into whatever you love 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.000 to do. Maybe you love fishing, maybe you love riding 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:23.440 four wheelers, maybe you love playing softball. I don't know 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:25.479 what it is, but this is a good time to 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.440 lean into a hobby. It's a good time to journal. 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:30.760 If you don't do that yet, I would recommend that 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:34.320 to anyone is grab a journal, and I have one 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.039 on my phone, and some people like to write. I 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.280 don't care whatever, I'll do it digital. But I have 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.479 one called day one. It's an app on my phone, 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:47.360 and so every morning I have a little routine in 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.520 my morning. I get up before the sun comes up, 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:53.200 get my cup of coffee, read my Bible, and usually write. 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:56.080 After that, I'll go into my well. I'll post whatever 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.800 scripture I read that I think is interesting on social media, 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:03.680 and then I'll go to my daily journal, and I'm 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:05.800 just talking to myself, so it's not it doesn't have 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.679 to be formal. I'm talking to really my future self. 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:13.360 And so I'll say, beautiful morning, drinking some coffee. Kids 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.720 are getting ready for school today. I'm gonna I'm gonna 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.360 go back into mixing on this movie. And then at 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:21.360 four o'clock I'm headed to the airport. We're going to 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:25.280 Seattle for a show. I'm feeling allergies, you know, like 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:28.880 I like to put that, I'm feeling allergies right now. 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:33.400 It's allergies are killing me. And then the next thing 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.480 I do is I go back and read the last 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:39.000 four years that I've been doing this on this particular 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:42.520 app and I'll read four years of it and I'll go, Wow, 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:46.640 three years ago, I was doing this. And what's important 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:48.640 about that to me is I could read back and go, 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.080 I was doing this and it didn't even matter three 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.840 years later at all. It didn't matter. And so that 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.880 helps me with the present moment, knowing what didn't matter 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:00.680 when that I used to be doing that I was 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.880 worried about or working hard on. And then there's other 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.520 things I was doing that did end up mattering now 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:09.920 and I could read that I had allergies three years ago, 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.960 and go oh, I had allergies three years ago and 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.880 I have allergies today. That must be something that happens 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:18.400 in the middle of May. For me, it must be 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:22.040 you know, so that helps me and for you, Dustin, 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:27.360 you could write, I'm I'm in a deep place, a 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:31.480 dark place right now with this relationship, and I'm struggling, 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:37.400 and yesterday I had an all time low, and I'm noticing. 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:40.760 I'm noticing the fluctuations of my highs and lows. And 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:44.520 then next year you'll read that and you'll be like, man, 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:48.760 I'm in a new relationship now, it's better, It's it's 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:53.160 way easier. She's way more low maintenance for me. And 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:57.720 look at me struggling back then. And that that little 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.800 piece helps you so much, because then the next time 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:04.920 something happens, you're gonna ask yourself when I journal this, 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.240 is this gonna matter to me in a year or 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.480 it's just gonna be one of those things that didn't matter. 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.839 It's interesting, right talking to your future self. You could 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.480 even ask your future self questions like, hey, future self, 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:20.000 I'm really hurting over this girl. Are you still hurting 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.040 or does it not matter at all? And then you 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:24.760 could answer back two years later, you could answer back 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:28.240 and go, hey, twenty twenty version of myself, No, it 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:32.680 didn't matter, And it helps a lot. It helps understand yourself, 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:35.920 understanding the way your brain works. I would say this 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:39.920 destin too. I want you to notice something through this heartbreak. 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.520 I want you to notice that you're going through It's 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.480 like you're in the ocean and you're going through waves. 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:49.440 So you're you're gonna notice when you're in the trough 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:51.720 of the wave and when you're on the crest of 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.280 the wave, right, And so we could say that the 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.839 crest is when you're feeling pretty good, like I haven't 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:01.200 even thought about it in the last five minutes, and 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.080 I'm like, my heart is beating at a normal rate. 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:08.880 I'm feeling pretty good. And then you could fill the descent. 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.920 And sometimes this could happen like every thirty seconds, or 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.280 it could happen every other hour, or it could happen 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:19.120 every other day or every other week. The length of 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:23.280 the wave changes. But I want you to notice, I'm 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:27.680 feeling like I'm going down right now, I'm feeling the descent, 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:31.000 and you'll know pretty soon I'm going to be in 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.920 the trough and it sucks down there, but I also 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:37.360 know that I will recognize when I'm starting to go 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.160 back up to the crest. And when you're in the trough, 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:44.839 think about this, monitor yourself. Your brain is like a cpu, 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:50.439 so you could monitor how these thoughts are fluctuating through 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.120 and you could almost leave yourself for a second. And 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.360 this sounds weird, but you could transcend yourself and look 0:10:56.440 --> 0:11:01.000 down at yourself just for a second and monitor the 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:05.079 emotional state that you're in. And this is huge. This 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.600 is huge when you could finally do this Dustin, because 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:10.840 then you could recognize, I'm in the trough and this sucks, 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.800 but I know that I will feel myself going back 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:17.400 up and I'll be back on the crest. It could 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:19.560 be in thirty seconds or it could be tomorrow, but 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:21.959 I know when I'll start heading back up. And then 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.280 and then you monitor yourself and you go I feel 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:27.640 a little bit better than I was in the trough. 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:30.760 I must be going up, and then you could recognize 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:32.760 when you're going up. Pretty soon, I'm going to be 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:35.240 back on the crest, and then you'll be on the crest. 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:37.480 And the important thing about being on the crest is 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:42.000 recognizing what that you will go back down again. So 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:45.040 that helps you understand that you're floating in the ocean 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.360 and you're going up and down on this in this 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:51.720 heartbreak and this ocean of pain. Right that sounds like 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:55.480 a nineteen nineties country album Ocean of pain, But you're 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:57.480 going up and down. And as long as you could 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:01.520 recognize that, you know that neither one of those positions 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:07.560 up or down last forever, and eventually you will notice dustin. 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:12.360 How do I know this Because personal experience and the 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.280 rest of humanity has been through what you've gone through. Okay, 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:19.840 you're not going through something alone, you're not going through 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.360 something new. But what I'll tell you is these waves, 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.240 the length between the waves gets wider and wider, and 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:30.920 the distance between trough and cress gets shorter and shorter, 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:39.800 until you eventually arrive back in calm water. Okay, all right, 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:42.679 let's go to this. This is interesting. I don't think 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:44.640 I've ever answered a question like I'm about to do 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:49.880 right now. Subject line is grandparents house and says, hey, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.640 I would like to keep anonymous. I just moved into 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.080 my grandparents house. It feels like there is an angry 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.600 spirit around the house. I've been talking to God about 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:02.960 it and reading scripture. I feel that the spirit is beginning. 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:08.200 Excuse me, I feel the spirit and it is beginning 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:16.240 to be hard to sleep at night. Interesting anonymous. Some 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:20.000 people are listening going, that is just not true. Other 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.439 people listening go, I know it's true. I've experienced it. 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:28.120 I personally believe that it is true and that this 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:34.040 is also biblical. It's very biblical. I mean, Jesus during 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:37.920 his time on Earth, Jesus performed many miracles. He healed 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:42.640 the sick, he provided food for thousands out of hardly anything. 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.480 He turned, as we all know, water into wine. But 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.880 what did he do more than any of that cast 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:55.280 out demons. That's what he did on his work, during 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.240 his work on earth. So why do we think that 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:02.720 that doesn't exist anymore? Well, we know it does. We 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.880 just call it different things. We give it different labels, 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.440 demonic possession. We give it labels because that sounds like 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:11.840 a science fiction movie demonic possession. So we give it 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:19.040 other names like schizophrenia, mental health disorder, that person's just crazy, 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:22.840 that person's strung out on drugs. We give it all 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.240 kinds of names. But we need to call it for 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.040 what it is, because when we call it for what 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:31.440 it is, we reduce its power. Because as long as 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:33.360 you're denying what it is, and you're giving it other 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:37.320 names and denying that it exists, that gives it more 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:41.280 power to roam free on this earth. And I believe 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.520 that there's many spirits, thousands of them, and they all 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:49.480 have names, and they all have specific jobs. This is biblical, 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:53.880 and it's terrifying if you don't call it for what 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:57.000 it is, and if you don't know the source of 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:04.400 the only thing that can defeat it, So, Anonymous, if 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.760 you are not capable of defeating this on your own, 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.800 you could be in trouble. And this could be a 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:16.200 scary thing. So you say, I'm talking to God about 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.840 it and I'm reading scriptures. You got to do more 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:28.080 than that, buddy, or ma'am Anonymous. You're gonna have to 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:31.520 get specific with this thing. I'm talking You're gonna have 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:34.080 to You're gonna have to walk in that house and 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.800 rebuke this in the name of Jesus, and you're gonna 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:41.920 have to be committed to this process. There's many times 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:46.000 when demons were people tried to rebuke them but they weren't. 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:49.360 They weren't faithful enough to do it, and so the 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:53.040 demon just mocks them and it stays. Now, the scary 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:56.800 thing about it is, you are at risk here if 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.800 you're not careful, if you're not grounded in the right 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:05.920 thing foundation of Christ, you're at risk for being influenced 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:10.760 or taken over at some point by this spirit. So 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:17.360 long story short, believe it. Believe this gut feeling, Trust 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:19.840 this gut feeling that there's something wrong in that there 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:24.240 is something going on here, and then I would seek 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:26.600 help from the church. I would go to go to 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.040 a local church. If you're not plugged into the local church, 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:33.560 that's a huge red flag already. So regardless of the grandparents' 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.680 house thing, get yourself plugged in at a local church. 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:41.880 Everybody listening, get plugged in to the church. That's what 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:43.920 we need to do. That's the body of Christ. So 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.920 get plugged into the church. You can't just say I'm 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:50.280 talking to God about this, what are you doing? Faith 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.320 is an action, It's a verb. What are you doing? 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:57.040 Christ says, why do you call me by name? But 0:16:57.120 --> 0:17:02.000 you don't do what I say? Right, Hey, Lord Lord, 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.840 but you don't call me I mean, but you don't 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:08.160 do what I say. So go to go get yourself 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:10.920 in the body with other people and tell them about 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:14.240 this house. See, I need some help, can you have? 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:18.040 I have personally heard many stories of this kind of house, 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.439 and I've heard many stories of so many pastor friends 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:25.800 that have gone out and successfully rebuked a demon in 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:30.919 a house and it left forever it's gone, and they 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:33.120 felt it leave, and they heard it leave, and they 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:37.400 smelled it leave. This is terrifying stuff, like straight out 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:41.040 of Hollywood. But it's real and you got to deal 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.200 with it. And I wouldn't recommend doing it alone. I don't. 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:47.600 I don't. Something tells me that this is something you 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:49.359 can't do alone. You need to go to a local 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:52.480 church that you trust, with the group that you trust 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:56.680 and bring them to the house. Otherwise you might have 0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:03.960 to leave yourself. Let's hit another one here, step Cline 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:06.600 says pre deployment troubles. Hey Granger, my name is Caleb. 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.879 I'm twenty three from Ohio. I want to get to 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:10.520 the point because that has a lot of details and 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.320 it could be confusing, but I want to know what 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:16.560 you could think because you are a huge spiritual mentor 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:20.040 for me. I've been with my fiance for four and 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.439 a half years and we're having big issues. Let me 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:28.200 pause right there, first question, I said, Remember what I said, 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:30.720 I don't think. I don't think we should be in 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:34.520 four and a half year relationships without being married. Okay, 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.760 continuing on, We've been arguing a lot the past two months, 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:41.199 sparking from small issues. It's been so hard for me 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:44.840 to love her for the quirks that I always have. 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:49.159 She grew up Catholic, I grew up non denominational. She 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:53.679 is now trying to figure out what she and I 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:58.239 can agree with. In the past, we discussed beliefs and 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:00.520 we seem to be closer to being on the same 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:04.679 page two years ago with faith, but now she seems 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.920 too worried about being Catholic and change things that we've 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:10.480 talked about. At the end of the day, I truly 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:12.520 want us both to be happy and need my spouse 0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:14.760 to be on the same page with me on future 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:18.480 life endeavors and faith based choices like kids in church. 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.080 My apologies on the link of this message, but I 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.960 would love my mentor's input. There are some other details, 0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:27.080 but I'm trying to make this as short as I can. 0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:34.880 Thanks so much, Caleb, Caleb, thanks man. Thanks for the email. 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:40.120 And on a side note, thank you for being aware 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.840 that we need to keep these emails shorter. So when 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:45.200 y'all are writing emails, keep them about a page link. 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.040 So thanks for doing that. Caleb. Let's dig in. I 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:53.320 told you that I don't agree with a four and 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:57.200 a half year old relationship. I think it's too long. 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:01.440 I think you should already know by now. Now there's 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:03.359 a key thing that you said here at the end 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:06.720 of the day. I want us both to be happy, 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:10.320 and I'm gonna suggest that it sounds like right off 0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:13.080 the bat, it sounds like if you truly want each 0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:18.359 other to be happy, it's probably a part and not together. 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:24.480 These are deep issues. This Catholic issue that you're dealing 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:28.840 with is not just going to go away. This is 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.040 so embedded in her. This is how this is her. 0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:40.080 It's become so much embedded in her that it's part 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:43.440 of her family, and it's part of her and it's 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:48.800 her heritage, and it's I hate the word religion because 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:53.240 it's religion is man made. We've made this up and truly, 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:56.080 all we need is a relationship with Christ. That's all 0:20:56.119 --> 0:20:59.920 we need. And religion is not all bad because it 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:04.080 helps collect that idea of relationship with Christ and put 0:21:04.119 --> 0:21:07.800 it in humanistic terms, and it makes us be able 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:15.720 to to worship in a constructive environment that helps put 0:21:15.760 --> 0:21:19.720 parameters on what we do. Does that make sense? But 0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:25.600 having having a deep problem with her Catholicism is going 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:29.240 to affect your kids. And if you think it's bad 0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:33.280 now with no kids, can you imagine can you imagine 0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:35.680 how much worse this is going to get with kids. 0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:39.159 This is one of these things, Buddy, that ends up 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:43.560 being a deal breaker, And that's hard to hear. It's 0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:46.080 hard for you to hear it from me, especially since 0:21:46.119 --> 0:21:49.640 you trust this podcast. But that and I'm not always right, 0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:51.520 But this is my advice to If you were my 0:21:51.680 --> 0:21:54.080 friend Caleb, which I feel like you are, if you're 0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:56.200 sitting in this room with me right now, I would say, Buddy, 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:59.720 I think this is time to break it off. If 0:21:59.720 --> 0:22:01.840 you have it known by four and a half years, 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:05.760 yet you're still wondering and you're having these arguments, it's 0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:09.919 time to say, Babe, you know I love you, you 0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:13.840 know I want I want what's best for you. And 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:16.679 from the bottom of my heart as much as it 0:22:16.760 --> 0:22:19.679 breaks it. I feel like what's best for you is 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:22.840 to not be with me, but be with somebody else, 0:22:23.400 --> 0:22:27.880 somebody else that aligns with what you think, especially when 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:32.800 it comes to faith. Your subjecline was pre deployment, but 0:22:32.840 --> 0:22:36.080 you didn't mention that if you're about to go deployed, 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:40.199 this is something that has to happen right now, and 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:43.160 it's gonna your deployment will help in the healing process 0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:47.119 of the heartbreak. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't just keep 0:22:47.520 --> 0:22:49.879 plowing through this just we're gonna make it work. We're 0:22:49.880 --> 0:22:52.080 gonna make it work. We're gonna make it work. Because 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:55.560 you don't want to be saying that when you're married 0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:58.400 and you have kids seven eight years down the road. 0:22:58.440 --> 0:23:00.240 You don't want to be looking at your wife life 0:23:00.800 --> 0:23:03.800 in counseling saying we're gonna make it work. We're gonna 0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:06.439 make it work. You don't want to say that, but 0:23:06.560 --> 0:23:11.480 you can right now because you're not married. I would say, 0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:19.280 break it off. We're gonna take a break. Beerer back, Okay, 0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:21.560 getting back into these questions. A subject line here says 0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:25.639 stage fright, Hey, grangeer, my name is Natalie I'm fifteen. 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:29.240 I'm from West Melbourne, Florida, and I'm really leaning towards 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.800 music as being a career for me one day. But 0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:34.280 I get really nervous singing in front of people. I've 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:38.240 written so many amazing songs. I play electric, guitar, piano, drums, ukulele, 0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:41.639 and acoustic. My problem is I could sing great, and 0:23:41.720 --> 0:23:44.000 I could play great, and I could write great songs, 0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:46.840