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Speaker 1: Hi, Happy New Year, Catherine, Happy New Year, Chelsea. It's

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Speaker 1: the new year, you guys. It's the new year. Is

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Speaker 1: I mean, are we allowed to like look forward to

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Speaker 1: this new year if like we had a lot of

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Speaker 1: kirkfuff the last couple of years when we were like twenty,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be so exciting. I saw something on Instagram

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Speaker 1: where I saw somebody was saying like, walk into two

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Speaker 1: with your eyes open and don't touch anything that you see,

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Speaker 1: like you're walking into an antique store. And I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's uh apropos or apt I should say. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: is a new year. It's an exciting time to be alive.

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Speaker 1: It can't be fucking like last year. That that much

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Speaker 1: we know for sure. So there are vaccines. Yes, there's

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Speaker 1: an omicron variant spreading, but there are vaccines people, and

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Speaker 1: they're available to you. They are non discriminatory. You can

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Speaker 1: get a vaccine. So if you can get one, do

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Speaker 1: it please. That's amazing. And are you based in Whistler

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Speaker 1: now you're just like hanging out skiing right now? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I um hanging out skiing and I am basing myself

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Speaker 1: out of Whistler so I can catch my breath from

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Speaker 1: performing every weekend and I have a lighter schedule and

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Speaker 1: I am excited. Yeah, I'm excited to get the party started,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, the skiing party. That is amazing.

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Speaker 1: My guest for today you know her from Broad City

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Speaker 1: and her stand up special The Planet Is Burning, which

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Speaker 1: is available on Amazon, and from her voter empowerment work

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Speaker 1: with her organization Generator, which is how she and I

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Speaker 1: really got together. Actually, she is also the star, the

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Speaker 1: creator and star a False Positive, which is a movie

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Speaker 1: on Hulu. It is a thriller horror about childbirth, and

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Speaker 1: they filmed it a couple of years ago, but this

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Speaker 1: just came out this summer and while ironically she was

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Speaker 1: pregnant with her first baby. So my guest today is

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Speaker 1: a Lata Glazier. Yeah, welcome a Lana. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: you and say it's Glazer. Oh fuck, that's a Lana.

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Speaker 1: Glazers is like a sort of me who works with

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Speaker 1: glass and Glazer is this guy? Okay, And I wanted

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Speaker 1: you to know that my last name is actually hand

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Speaker 1: Job and everyone's been pronouncing that role as well a

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Speaker 1: lot of Glazer. That's it. I'm glad you corrected me.

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Speaker 1: I do that with Charlie's Throne all the time, who's

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Speaker 1: a very close friend of mine, and she gives me

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Speaker 1: shit about mispronouncing her name all the time, first or last.

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Speaker 1: I mean, they're both ex that's and I told her,

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Speaker 1: I go, I don't even think you're pronouncing it right.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. That's how I feel about

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Speaker 1: Australian accents. They exactly. That's how I feel about Australians.

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Speaker 1: Where are we nerve? Yeah, Nai, I was trying to

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Speaker 1: get that Australian knife for a long time because I

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Speaker 1: was doing this imitation of an Australian pilot in my

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Speaker 1: stand up, and then I had to toss it because

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Speaker 1: I couldn't get the name because it's like night nine A.

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Speaker 1: You are as how the youths are spelling it on

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Speaker 1: the internet is that it's rough. Like my voice is

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Speaker 1: so great, So well, yeah, I like your voice. It's soothing.

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Speaker 1: You should do one of those meditation apps. Oh, I'd

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Speaker 1: love it, just for Jews only. The last time I

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Speaker 1: saw you, we were at my show in the Beacon.

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Speaker 1: You came so kindly. I loved seeing you. I was

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Speaker 1: just lit and so empowering. Of course, I missed the

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Speaker 1: night before, Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer and Sarah Cooper.

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Speaker 1: You had a damn lineup girl. Oh yeah, that was fun.

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Speaker 1: We were all on. The person we were missing was you,

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Speaker 1: but you were sick and you were being responsible because

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Speaker 1: it was one of those every time we get six sick,

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Speaker 1: it's a COVID scare thing, so we have to be

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Speaker 1: even just a little flair. I was thinking about an

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Speaker 1: awesome fiftieth birthday party that I missed recently because I

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Speaker 1: was like a little rundown, and I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: but you gotta do it. It's always been gross to

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Speaker 1: show up somewhere a little sick, but now it's disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Now it is disgusting and wrong. And we were together

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Speaker 1: on that night. We went out to dinner with Matteo

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Speaker 1: Lane and yeah, I was on my thirty day alcohol light,

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Speaker 1: so I got to break my thirty day alcohol light

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Speaker 1: with a Lana Glazer and I had an Apperall sprits

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Speaker 1: who knew that sentence would ever come out of my mouth? Hey,

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Speaker 1: that I was on an alcohol clens and b that

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Speaker 1: I broke it with an Apperall sprits so funny, I mean,

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Speaker 1: not basically like a soccer mom at this point a

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Speaker 1: mother though at this point, Yeah, I am a what

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Speaker 1: is what are you in the city is a walk

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Speaker 1: up mom? Just stairs and stars and stares. I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: how long can this last? I don't know, Chelsea h Job,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. The good thing is that, like, as

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Speaker 1: long as my form is good, life is a hardcore

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Speaker 1: workout in New York City with a baby. So I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling fit and strong, but I'm also like, it's just

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Speaker 1: insane here. It's just insane. I'm looking but I've been

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Speaker 1: here sixteen years and uh what a crazy It's just changed.

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Speaker 1: The city is so insane and it's like the microcosm

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Speaker 1: of everything insanity. Do you think it's wearing you thin?

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Speaker 1: Are you saying that you love it? How are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: I mean if I love it and I hate it,

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Speaker 1: I mean like I love it, but I'm also just

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Speaker 1: like what you know? The high rises. The rats are

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Speaker 1: are full citizens in New York. It's it's bunkers in

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Speaker 1: l A. They're crazy. There are rats in l A.

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Speaker 1: And they are possums. Yeah, they're large. That is scary

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Speaker 1: ship they are. I was staying in l A for

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Speaker 1: like five months last year, and whenever I'm in l A,

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Speaker 1: I'm haunted by ghosts. I have like environmental issues and

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Speaker 1: animal issues, and something always is like happening. And the

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Speaker 1: rats were like full woodworking in the walls of the

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Speaker 1: places I was staying. Oh my god, it was building furniture.

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Speaker 1: It was insane. So staying at a hostel. I was

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Speaker 1: staying at a totally lovely house in Laurel Canyon, but

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Speaker 1: they were like, oh yeah, Laurel Canyon, the nicest place. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: infested with rats. I was like, this place is I mean,

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Speaker 1: l A is so itself and its contradictions, but in

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Speaker 1: New York they're smaller and more cerebral. At least we

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Speaker 1: rolled that's a good way to put it. Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Joe and I went to this morning. We're doing this

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Speaker 1: out of New York City today. Joe and I went

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Speaker 1: to because he had to get his tc A renewed

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Speaker 1: t s A to move quicker at the airport. He

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Speaker 1: didn't get his renewed so you could get pre check

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Speaker 1: or whatever it is t s A, pre check, t

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Speaker 1: c A or the Critics Choice Association. So that's exactly

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Speaker 1: what I was talking about. Anyway, we had to go

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Speaker 1: there and get that done. And we went in. Well,

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Speaker 1: we had an appointment, but it was in the bronx,

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Speaker 1: and I said, let's just walk in. We walk in,

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Speaker 1: walk it some walk like a walk into some post

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Speaker 1: office around the corner. We walk in, we put his

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Speaker 1: name in, and then we go to check and see

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Speaker 1: how long it is, and they say it's going to

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Speaker 1: be two hours. And we were waiting in the room

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Speaker 1: and the woman's like, okay, well you can't wait inside

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Speaker 1: if you're a walking and like we had been waiting

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Speaker 1: for thirty minutes. I go, but we've been here the

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Speaker 1: whole time, and she goes, yeah, but no appointments only

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Speaker 1: are allowed to wait inside. And we were masked up obviously,

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Speaker 1: and I said, okay, so we have to now go

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Speaker 1: outside because I asked you how long it was, and

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Speaker 1: she goes yes, So we leave, we go get we

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Speaker 1: go get Head of Cures together, one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: activities to do with my boyfriend. And we came back

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Speaker 1: and she's like, okay, appointments have been canceled. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what the fucking kind of customer service is this? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. It's like not that I ever have intellectual references,

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Speaker 1: but it's like Edward I'll be play, you know, like

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Speaker 1: waiting for good Dough and no Exit. It's the two

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Speaker 1: references I have from college. I don't know ship, but

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Speaker 1: it's just like you're in a loop and it's like

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Speaker 1: an absurdist play. And that's what bureaucracy in New yarpe. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and the logic behind it. It's like these people have

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Speaker 1: an appointment, so they can wait in the waiting room,

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Speaker 1: but you can't because you're a walking appointment. It's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: little Dr Susie. Yeah, the logic is like really anyway, Okay,

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Speaker 1: can I say two things T T C A S.

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Speaker 1: You just want a critics word for evolution, right, I

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Speaker 1: thank you. No, I won one for Best Comedy to

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Speaker 1: our People's Choice Award. Yeah, but same thing, right, Well

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Speaker 1: the people, I mean that's that's even better no offense

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Speaker 1: than the critics. Well for me, and it's all about

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Speaker 1: the people. Yeah. I can't be performing for critics. We

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Speaker 1: know that. You know that, right, Yeah, but congratulations, thank you, honey,

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Speaker 1: thank you. All of your winds is so inspiring. I

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Speaker 1: love them. Well, I feel the same way about you,

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Speaker 1: speaking of which, it was a little much I think

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Speaker 1: to Joe. That was like Joe Joe Coy, Like, I'm

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Speaker 1: just so excited about your guys love and nothing's too

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Speaker 1: much for him. He is the king of enthusiasm. So

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Speaker 1: don't even ever get it twisted. I want to talk

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Speaker 1: more specifically about your movie False Positive Love It, So

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Speaker 1: let's talk a little bit about that and why that

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Speaker 1: was important for you to make, because I know that

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Speaker 1: was close to your heart, right, Yeah, I mean that

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Speaker 1: was like a I can't even believe it got made.

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Speaker 1: It was such a like fucked up passion project from

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Speaker 1: like my core. So I'm actually I'm stoked about it

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Speaker 1: and I'm star if you want to talk about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So you were involved obviously in the creative process from

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Speaker 1: the outset. Yeah. I I wrote that with my writing

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Speaker 1: partner for that film, John Lee, So we wrote that

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Speaker 1: script and then I started it and he directed it.

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Speaker 1: So it was like similar to Broad City in that

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Speaker 1: it was like something that I saw from conception to birth,

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Speaker 1: no pun intended, because it's all about birth and seating.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, it's a very white punk and satirical and

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Speaker 1: weird and unique. And what were the most important themes,

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Speaker 1: like when you were very passionate how First of all,

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Speaker 1: how long did it take you from the start of

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Speaker 1: conceptualizing it to actually executing it? Gosh, what year is it?

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Speaker 1: My brain is so broken Instagram? Well you have money brain.

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Speaker 1: Now you can blame that and COVID and New York.

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Speaker 1: Today I blame Instagram. Actually, um, I just played Instagram.

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Speaker 1: My brain is leaking out my ears. Every time I

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Speaker 1: open Instagram. It's just brain diarrhea out of my ears.

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Speaker 1: What about when you mindlessly go on TikTok and then

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Speaker 1: it plays it at full volume even when you have

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Speaker 1: it down on Instagram. If you go on TikTok, everyone

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Speaker 1: around you know that you're on TikTok a TikTok. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I make them once in a while, but I don't

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Speaker 1: have like a social media person. I have a coordinator

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Speaker 1: and producer who helps me, but it's not like I,

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Speaker 1: like have a dedicated social media person. If I did.

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Speaker 1: They're fun, you know, it's fun to make little things

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Speaker 1: and it's a fun creative outlet. But like, I can

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Speaker 1: barely handle it on my own, so I make just

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Speaker 1: stupid ones randomly. I'm not I haven't invested a whole

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Speaker 1: thing in any Yeah, I have a social media team

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Speaker 1: because I can't be I can't I feel that that

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Speaker 1: way about you. I need somebody to get excited for me,

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Speaker 1: and then I can produce the content. I'm not even

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Speaker 1: produce it. I can show up and record it. That's

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Speaker 1: like somewhere I want to get too is just have

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Speaker 1: that because it's fun and it does reach people. You know,

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Speaker 1: it feels good as a fan to like see your

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Speaker 1: stuff and be like, hey, Chelsea, you know I want

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Speaker 1: to get there, but yeah, my ship's leaking out my ears.

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Speaker 1: So the question was how long did it take you

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Speaker 1: from the inception a false positive to actually seeing it

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Speaker 1: come to fruition. I would say five years from starting

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Speaker 1: to talk about it with John Lee to three years

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Speaker 1: from writing it to the point of putting it out.

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Speaker 1: And it's about the power structures that run the world

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Speaker 1: and how they fuck over women, and that happens in medicine.

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Speaker 1: That happens, of course on a spectrum from black to

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Speaker 1: Asian to white too queer. You know, there's this algorithm

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Speaker 1: in the power structures that box people over to different degrees.

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Speaker 1: So it's about this white woman in New York City

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Speaker 1: who's trying to get pregnant in her husband are trying

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Speaker 1: to get pregnant, and the medical system, specifically the reproductive

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Speaker 1: medical system fox here over in a scary way that

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Speaker 1: truly happens. Because the movie is out, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: tell you about it. There is a phenomenon that is

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Speaker 1: pretty rampant and increasingly being exposed where some fertility doctors

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Speaker 1: put their own sperm in their unwitting patients. And because

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Speaker 1: es Catherine, thank you for that look, I'm like horrified

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Speaker 1: over here. Yes, because of the way the world works

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Speaker 1: is that the policymakers protect people, and if the policymakers

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Speaker 1: all look like Mitch McConnell, the only people protected or

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Speaker 1: Mitch McConnell. So it's technically legal. So some lawsuits have

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Speaker 1: happened or but it's been for other ship they have

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Speaker 1: to name it as another thing. There's so little research

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Speaker 1: about women and reproductive health, and they're so little legal

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Speaker 1: protection obviously, so it's like a horror movie that's like

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Speaker 1: a satire about like the whiteness and the New York nous.

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Speaker 1: And here in New York we think we're so progressive,

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Speaker 1: but damn are we pretty backwards in a lot of ways,

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Speaker 1: you know, like income disparity alone tells you how backwards

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Speaker 1: a places. And you know, there's the richest people here

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Speaker 1: in the poorest people here. So New York can be

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Speaker 1: whacked in that way too. So it's a pretty amazing cast.

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Speaker 1: Pierce Brosnan is our villain. He's Pierce Prosden is awesome

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Speaker 1: in this movie. First of all, I love Pierce Brosen.

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Speaker 1: Isn't he just the sexiest man alive? Every year? Piers

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Speaker 1: Brasson is the sexiest man alive, and he always has

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Speaker 1: been and always has been because like the reason that

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Speaker 1: he remains Pierce Prosdon is because he is a gentleman,

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Speaker 1: like giggling and blushing, a gentleman and an artists and

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Speaker 1: just a cool dude. He's like gone through a bunch

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Speaker 1: of ships, survived it with immediately visible elegance, and is

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Speaker 1: just awesome to work with. He is awesome to work with.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm going to tell you this this story.

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Speaker 1: So there's this shot, Oh my goodness, I am giggling

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Speaker 1: and blushing. There's this thing, I have a mask like

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Speaker 1: any other school a crushed girls. There's this shot in

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Speaker 1: the film where I'm like, it's this real like stylist

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Speaker 1: shot and I'm covered in blood, buck naked, and I

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Speaker 1: look at myself in the mirror clothed and buck naked

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Speaker 1: and clothed and naked. And I talked to Pearce on

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Speaker 1: the phone to like talk about getting him to do

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Speaker 1: the movie and talking about the movie or whatever. But

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Speaker 1: the first time that I met him in person was

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Speaker 1: covered in blood, fully naked. Oh on set, Yes, I

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Speaker 1: was like, bring him in, and that's how I met him.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I think this will be the this

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Speaker 1: is the closest I'll ever get, So here you go.

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Speaker 1: I was just done. I was like, this is this

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Speaker 1: is me? I was. I was covered in fake blood,

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Speaker 1: which is almost like Cherry Sarah. So it was a

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Speaker 1: little demure and probably very erotic for him. I hope.

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Speaker 1: I mean that's all we can do, is hope. Now,

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Speaker 1: when you sold this movie based on the subject matter

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Speaker 1: and everything, was that difficult to sell or did you

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Speaker 1: just sell it's on Hulu? Right? Yeah? We went straight too,

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Speaker 1: and they dug it. They're like pretty, they're keen, right,

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Speaker 1: So they dug it and they were like, okay, let's

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Speaker 1: do this, and we we shaped the story with them

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Speaker 1: too too. It became that style. We we always were

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Speaker 1: aiming at that kind of satire and the tone that

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Speaker 1: it evokes. Their great producers, they helped us like shape it,

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Speaker 1: shape this world. And what has it and what has

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Speaker 1: the feedback been. Have you heard from a lot of

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Speaker 1: different women now about watching that movie and their own experiences? Yes,

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Speaker 1: it is really eerie. How many people, like even just

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Speaker 1: in talking about the movie, how they have had similar

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Speaker 1: experiences discovered that this has happened to them. So many

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Speaker 1: people have told me that this has happened to them.

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Speaker 1: If that's who their father is, is there a doctor

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Speaker 1: riffs with their mothers who didn't tell them? I think

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Speaker 1: I am a to The mothers are like found in

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Speaker 1: a way where they're like, did I do this? I

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Speaker 1: kind of knew it afterwards. I kind of put the

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Speaker 1: pieces together, you know. It's it's so so doctors opting

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Speaker 1: to forego the semen that they've been supplied with and

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Speaker 1: instead inseminate their own semen into their own patients. So

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Speaker 1: this is a thing that is happening. Yes. Is it

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Speaker 1: because they like ran out of college student semen or

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Speaker 1: they're just like monsters? It's because their monster? Yeah, since

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Speaker 1: when does a man, help when you run out of something,

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Speaker 1: no college and it's free. So no, it's because they're monsters.

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Speaker 1: And I guess the people in this position tend to

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Speaker 1: be white males, but I can't help. But it feels

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Speaker 1: connected to white supremacy to They're like, believe me, my

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Speaker 1: sperm is primo. It's like, I don't think so, bro,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think the hardest thing for

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Speaker 1: a lot of people to get around. And I'm sure

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Speaker 1: all of our listeners are on the same page because

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Speaker 1: we have such a loyal fan base, and I think

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Speaker 1: the hardest thing to get around. It's like whenever I

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Speaker 1: mentioned anything, like everything to me is goes right back

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Speaker 1: to white supremacy, Like everything in society, even regular, common

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Speaker 1: everyday things that happened. You're like, oh, there's white supremacy

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Speaker 1: at work. And Joe is always like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. I'm like, you are a victim of

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Speaker 1: white supremacy, so you should actually be even more tuned

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Speaker 1: to this. The thing is as white people, like the

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Speaker 1: wool has been pulled over our eyes the most because

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Speaker 1: we're the ones meant to uphold the whole system. So

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Speaker 1: I find that like, as a white person, and as

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Speaker 1: a white woman, it's like I'm like working on this

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Speaker 1: bit of like I can't unsee the patriarchy. I see

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Speaker 1: it everywhere. I see it in you know, utensils and

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Speaker 1: tips and the way people. You know, it's like it

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Speaker 1: is everywhere. But it's because we haven't been thrust upon

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Speaker 1: the system hasn't been thrust upon us in a particular

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Speaker 1: way to see it as kids, you know what I mean. Like, um,

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Speaker 1: there's this awesome New York representative cho say in Brooklyn,

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Speaker 1: whose third generation Brooklyn and he's like twenty three. He is, uh, amazing.

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Speaker 1: This young person is filled with light, totally sees the

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Speaker 1: whole system and how to navigate through it. Is a politician,

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Speaker 1: he's he's he's amazing, an activist term politician. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, Mr, Oh, say, how do you see the

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Speaker 1: whole system this way? And he was like, it's because

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Speaker 1: I'm black, Because at a young age I knew as

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Speaker 1: a black person in a black family in a black

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Speaker 1: community what the system was doing, you know. But for

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Speaker 1: us to be like way and then and then it

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Speaker 1: comes later now it's like I feel a delayed response

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Speaker 1: where it started when I left home. Basically Smithtown. Phille

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Speaker 1: lives in the town that I grew up in. Oh cute,

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Speaker 1: which is a cute connection. I mean a real as

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Speaker 1: authentic connection behind the scenes here at Chelsea hand Job,

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Speaker 1: you know. But you come up against it everywhere, and

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Speaker 1: we do need to be reminding ourselves or else it's

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Speaker 1: harder to stay like fucking wilful against it. Yeah, yeah, especially,

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Speaker 1: I mean it is hard because it becomes such as

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Speaker 1: feel it feels like you're always arguing, you know, like

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Speaker 1: you're always cantankerous, and you are arguing, and it's like

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Speaker 1: and it's a necessary argument. To be constantly reminding. It's

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Speaker 1: a bummer, But it's also necessary to be constantly reminding

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Speaker 1: yourself and others around you to look and see like

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Speaker 1: through this, through this lens of like the real reality

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Speaker 1: of things, even growing up. You know, when I look

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Speaker 1: back at the way how bombastic and arrogant I was

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Speaker 1: at a young age, everyone just thought I had so

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Speaker 1: much confidence and I was so fearless. It was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I just had grown up in a structure where I

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Speaker 1: knew I could be the loudest and there was we

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Speaker 1: were going to be no repercussions. Did you grow up

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Speaker 1: with Jews. Yeah, Jews and Italians, which are basically interchangeable,

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Speaker 1: but it was very Jewish, very Italian where which they

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Speaker 1: called Bagel Hill for short. On that note, we have

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Speaker 1: this podcast is where we give advice. We have real

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Speaker 1: people who call in and we're just going to give

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Speaker 1: our advice and hopefully these are areas that you feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable giving advice in which I know you will. And um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so Katherine, should we start with our callers. Yes, we'll

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Speaker 1: have to take a quick break, but after that we'll

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Speaker 1: get to some collars. Oh, yes, we always have to

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Speaker 1: take a quick break. Don't forget about that. Okay, and

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Speaker 1: we're back. We're back with a lot of glazer and

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Speaker 1: we're going to take some callers, right, Katherine, Yes, we are.

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Speaker 1: Our first submission is actually an email. We actually have

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Speaker 1: two collars today, so our first email comes from Natalie.

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Speaker 1: The subject is secret job. Dear Chelsea. I'm a forty

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Speaker 1: six year old woman who has a great husband, two amazing, smart,

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Speaker 1: well rounded kids, and I live a quiet, content life.

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Speaker 1: My problem is, before I had kids, I had a

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Speaker 1: very active work life, were filled with responsibilities and promise.

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Speaker 1: We lived in a large city and I felt like

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Speaker 1: I was going places career wise. When our first son

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Speaker 1: was born, I never really went back to work because

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Speaker 1: my husband's job was very demanding and unpredictable, and we

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Speaker 1: had no easy childcare option. Fourteen years and a year

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Speaker 1: of COVID later, I realized I wanted to start doing

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Speaker 1: something outside of the house. Pre COVID I volunteered, so

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Speaker 1: I decided to get a job as a school bus driver.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing, Chelsea, I've been doing it for a

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Speaker 1: year and none of my family or friends know I

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Speaker 1: have this job. I really enjoy it. I love the kids.

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Speaker 1: Driving the bus is never boring, and it's only three

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Speaker 1: hours a day. But I've kept it a secret because

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Speaker 1: I feel that people will look down on me, like

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Speaker 1: I couldn't get anything better, or that I'm lazy. All

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Speaker 1: my friends have fast paced city jobs but no kids.

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Speaker 1: I'm an educated woman, and I don't know why I

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Speaker 1: care what people think. I guess I could go on

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Speaker 1: and get a better job, but being out of the

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Speaker 1: job market for so long, I feel I've been left behind. Also,

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Speaker 1: my husband has a six week holiday every year, and

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Speaker 1: my family's time off together is very important to us,

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Speaker 1: so I guess I want your opinion. Am I being

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Speaker 1: dishonest with myself about keeping this job a secret and

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Speaker 1: pretending to still just be a stay at home mom? Atalie? Oh? God?

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Speaker 1: First of all, you need to embrace the fact that

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Speaker 1: you're driving a bus and you fucking love it. I

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Speaker 1: love Natalie so loving it? Then? And also how to

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Speaker 1: keep it a secret? Bitch, I'm loving it. I'm loving it.

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Speaker 1: And also like her self awareness. I hate the stigmas

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Speaker 1: and ship that's like weighing her down. But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I get it, but oh I'm loving it. Yeah. First

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Speaker 1: of all, you need to embrace the fact that you

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Speaker 1: got that job and that you love it, and that

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Speaker 1: first of all, you're having a great impact on children.

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Speaker 1: Is you like what you're doing? Be And then the

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Speaker 1: third thing is you're it's part time, so you're able

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Speaker 1: to do everything else that you feel like you need

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Speaker 1: to do, which is parent you know, not as much

424
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: as you were doing when they were younger, it's not

425
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: as intensive, and you're earning a living like this is

426
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: a home run. All of this. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like,

427
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: you are not keeping this from your family, You're keeping

428
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 1: this for yourself. Is yours? Get Natalie? Yes? Also dare

429
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 1: I say, if you'd like you sent money for therapy

430
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 1: to look at why you have the shame because therapy

431
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: is fun. That's just I just love therapy. Yeah, and

432
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 1: I don't think driving a bus is beneath anybody. I

433
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: think if you look at it, first of all, you

434
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,159
Speaker 1: don't even need this job, so that that it's not

435
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: like it's the only job you could get. You chose

436
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: this job, and you're doing something that is having a

437
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 1: positive impact on your community, which is a number one

438
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 1: the most important thing any of us can do as individuals,

439
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 1: especially in this fucking country, you know, where people are

440
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: all over the map and so divisive and hate each other.

441
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 1: You know, this is a great use of your time

442
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 1: and you should own it and embrace it, and when

443
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: you want to share it with everybody, do it proudly. Yes,

444
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 1: everyone loves a bus driver as a kid, Like I

445
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 1: was obsessed with my bus driver. That's amazing. I love that,

446
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: Like a brilliant mom is like taking care of these kids.

447
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 1: And you're like these days a frontline worker. Really that

448
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,479
Speaker 1: you're that's so important to get these kids to school.

449
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: That's so fun. And you also don't know, Natalie, how

450
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: many people you're going to inspire by telling telling the

451
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 1: world how much fun you're having and and owning it

452
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 1: instead of being shameful about it. Flip the script on that.

453
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,959
Speaker 1: Just be like, yeah, I'm cool enough to do this

454
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 1: and be confident and secure enough that I don't have

455
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: to make excuses for having a job that only you,

456
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: in your mind are judging as not good enough or

457
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: not making enough money. This is a great way to

458
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: contribute while also making a living. So good on you.

459
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 1: And yeah, spread the word when when you feel comfortable.

460
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: I think you should have done it yesterday, but that's

461
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: my opinion. You know, just spread it. Spread the gospel

462
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: to other people so they can know that, like, yeah,

463
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 1: it's not all about how much money you're making, and

464
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 1: especially when you don't need that kind of income to

465
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: supplement your household. I know, I don't think it's lovely

466
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,440
Speaker 1: and a lot of retirees do bust driving. You know,

467
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: it's just fun to get your own kids. She's having

468
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: a great time. I think when it's time for you

469
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: to tell your personal community about it, it's interesting that

470
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 1: you wanted to keep it from them. That's what I

471
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: mean about the therapy, just because it's it doesn't have

472
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: to be therapy, but just looking at that is interesting. Yeah,

473
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: problem solved. It sounds like Natalie, So I guess there

474
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: was no problem to begin with. And we love these

475
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: kinds of calls. It's just positive affirmations and then schedattle. Yeah,

476
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: I could see you driving a bus. That sounds fun.

477
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,400
Speaker 1: I I can't. Sorry, I don't know that I would

478
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: operate a vehicle. A lot of that I would trust myself,

479
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: but I feel like, WHOA, it would be like a

480
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: little too anxious for it. So prop Tonatalie also on

481
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: operating an enormous like what seven ton piece of machinery

482
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: screenery that's important for a woman and a mom to do.

483
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: That's a pretty specific ton of reference, seven tons right

484
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 1: off the bat, she knows how much a bus ways.

485
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: Pretty interesting, just just throwing it out there. So many talents. Well,

486
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: our next email comes from Bryson and he is calling in.

487
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty nine year old

488
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: medical student from South Carolina. I've been in a relationship

489
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: up with an amazing man for a year and a

490
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 1: half now. He's the sweetest, most caring person I've ever met,

491
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: and I'm so thankful for him. However, my boyfriend and

492
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 1: best friend of ten years have become enemies. When meeting

493
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 1: her for the first time in Orlando over New Year's,

494
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 1: boyfriend said something negative about her and she overheard it.

495
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,919
Speaker 1: A horrible argument broke out and made the rest of

496
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 1: the trip incredibly awkward. A couple of weeks later, I

497
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: found out that she had uninvited him to her wedding.

498
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be the man of honor, but

499
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,479
Speaker 1: my boyfriend was not allowed to attend. I ended up

500
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 1: going to the wedding, but since then things have not

501
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: been the same. We've been through therapy over this situation,

502
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,719
Speaker 1: and I've not been able to salvage the relationship between

503
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 1: the two of them. My boyfriend absolutely wants nothing to

504
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 1: do with her and has threatened to end our relationship

505
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: if she remains a part of my life. My best

506
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 1: friend thinks he's controlling and quote horrible. Is it possible

507
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: to fix this so I can have both my boyfriend

508
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 1: and my best friend Bryson? What I love friendship triangle?

509
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: Oh that's hard? Hi bright Sondi, Hi, Hi, how are you?

510
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 1: I'm good? So excited for you guys. Thanks, We're happy

511
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 1: to be here to help you navigate. Yes, okay, so

512
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: tell us what happened. So it's your best friend and

513
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 1: your boyfriend exactly. Yeah. So we get there and she

514
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: starts making some like kind of racist comments at the beginning, unfortunately,

515
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 1: and he's biracial, so like really sensitive to any kind

516
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: of stuff like that. So, like we're going into a Walmart,

517
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,239
Speaker 1: and she talked about how like, oh, there's always these

518
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: black people hanging out outside of the Walmart and it

519
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: makes her nervous, so like already that's not a great

520
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 1: way to start. And then like this is New Year's Eve,

521
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 1: so like we're all having this party at her house

522
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: and we're talking about relationships, and she says something like, well,

523
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: you guys have only been together for like twenty minutes.

524
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: We've been together for almost a year at that point.

525
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: And then like as a night got on, he and

526
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 1: I were having what we thought was a private conversation.

527
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: He shared with me like I can't believe how rude

528
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: she is, Like somebody needs to put her in her place,

529
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: and I'm glad we don't live near her. And turns

530
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: out she was in the bedroom and heard everything that

531
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: we said. So she comes like storming out of the

532
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: house and you know, blows up at him like I

533
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 1: heard everything you said. Just it errupts. Then they have

534
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: this like amazing conversation. She's crying, saying like, you know,

535
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: she's not a racist person. You know, she and him

536
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: don't have to necessarily be friends, but because she loves

537
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: me and he loves me, like they need to get along.

538
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 1: Everything's fine. The next like three days of our trip

539
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: are great. A couple of weeks later is her bachelorette party,

540
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: and she tells me on the trip he's not invite

541
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: to the wedding anymore, which came like a completely like

542
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, like why you guys just have this

543
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 1: awesome you know you made up, Like why would you

544
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: do this? So she blamed it on COVID, said that

545
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: when her bridal party is having their partners or whatever,

546
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: AND's like, okay, we'll fine, Like I can get that.

547
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: So we get to the wedding. Of course everyone in

548
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: the bridal party has a partner. So she lied to

549
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: me about that, so I was hurt immediately. It was

550
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: her man of honor, so like I had an amazing speech,

551
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: you know, and I was there standing right next to

552
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 1: her throughout the whole wedding and afterwards, I just kind

553
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 1: of cut ties. More and more time went by, and

554
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: like we started therapy over this, and what we decided

555
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: through therapy was that I need to start pulling away

556
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: from this relationship, like I need to cut contact in

557
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: order to salvage what I have with him. And I

558
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 1: have a really hard time with that. I really struggle

559
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: cutting ties with people. And and so we went about

560
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: two months without speaking, and then she finally reached out,

561
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: and I guess because I had, you know, wanted to

562
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: talk to her for so long, Like when she reached out,

563
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,959
Speaker 1: I kind of reverted back, like it was just like

564
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: nothing had changed, you know, but still had him over here,

565
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 1: who was hurting really badly knowing that I was having

566
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: these conversations with her, because in his eyes, it's like,

567
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: you know, you're you don't have my back. So we're

568
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: at staying now. We haven't spoken since September. We've been

569
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,959
Speaker 1: best friends for ten years. We used to speaking like

570
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: every day, and it's been really hard because like I'm

571
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,719
Speaker 1: at a really great point in my life. I'm going

572
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: to graduate medical school, Like I'm interviewing out all these

573
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: programs and I want to share all these experiences with her,

574
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: and she just bought a house, and I want to

575
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: hear about her married life and the Survivor Finaleeston and

576
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: we love that, so that's something we always talk about. So,

577
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: you know, just not having that in my life has

578
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: been really hard. So I'm just not sure how to

579
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: have both of those. Yeah, you're not the only person.

580
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 1: A lot of people have a problem cutting off ties,

581
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: have a problem with complex confrontation, so that's not uncommon.

582
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: But can I just ask you about your relationship with

583
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: your your partner. Would you describe it as a healthy relationship?

584
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: Does he treat you well? Does he respect you? All

585
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: of those things? He's the most amazing person I've ever met. Like,

586
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: I've dated some scumbags in the past few years, and

587
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: once he came into the picture, everyone's like, finally, my

588
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: family loves him. You know, everybody in my life loves

589
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: him except for her. Yeah, so I'll go first. I

590
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: think that your friend sounds like she's got some a

591
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 1: jealousy issues about your relationship with him, and then be

592
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: she's got her own issues if she's making comments like

593
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: that walking into Walgreens or you know, commenting about black

594
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 1: people like. For you to have a tolerance of that

595
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 1: is kind of what you have to just that's your baseline, right,

596
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: are you going to be tolerant of that kind of behavior?

597
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: That's the perfect reasoning for you to give somebody the

598
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: room they need with a nice like email as your

599
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: last outreach to her, saying, this is a person in

600
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: my life that is so important to me. This is

601
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: the best relationship, the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

602
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: I hope that at a certain point in your life

603
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: that you will come around to recognize how valuable he

604
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: is to me and how valuable your your friendship is too.

605
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: But I'm being forced now to make a choice between

606
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: the two of you because of her behavior. It doesn't

607
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: sound like your partner did anything to warrant her acting

608
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: like this. She through it, and you're not only did

609
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: she make that comment walking in with somebody who's bi racial,

610
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: That comments not except acceptable if you're around a bunch

611
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: of white people, never mind if you're around somebody who's

612
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: not white, you know what I mean. And then also

613
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: what she did to you at her wedding by disinviting

614
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: him and then showing up, that's a real fuck you

615
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: that's a fuck you to you, you know, And so

616
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 1: you're hesitancy about having a confrontation or losing someone when

617
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: somebody like like that is in your life and kind

618
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: of just attracting so much negativity. You're used to that.

619
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: That's a habit for you that you're okay with, and

620
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be. Really, you should have a higher standard

621
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 1: of operation between your friends and what's acceptable to say

622
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,959
Speaker 1: and what's not because regardless of whether you're with this

623
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: guy or not, she shouldn't be talking about black people

624
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: like that. I mean, are you okay with that? No?

625
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 1: Certainly not. You've gotten away with it for so long,

626
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: like saying he's off the cuff comments and you know,

627
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: I don't think she's a racist person, but you know

628
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: it's not even okay to like say joking things. Yeah,

629
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: and you can put that in the letter. You can

630
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: write her this email and saying all of the things

631
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 1: that you value you about your relationship. And here's where

632
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: you've crossed the line. And I would be willing to

633
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: forgive you if you would be able to come to

634
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: the table and actually say I've done some work on myself.

635
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: I'm ready to actually act like in concert in this relationship,

636
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: so it's not uneven and one sided, and where she's

637
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: willing to embrace your partner and also owe him a

638
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: heartfelt apology. She owes him a heartfelt apology, not not

639
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: just saying oh yeah whatever, she has to actually say

640
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: from her heart, because I'm sure your partner, if he's

641
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: a well rounded individual, would accept an apology if it

642
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: were heartfelt. The problem is that it sounded like the

643
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 1: initial one wasn't, and then her behavior after that negated

644
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: any apology anyway. So I just am completely behind everything

645
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: that Chelsea's saying. And I don't mean to just straight

646
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: up alienate her, but I'm like, that's nuts. To say

647
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: that in a group of white people is like what,

648
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: But to say that with a biracial person is nuts.

649
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: That's just wild to me, you know, and not cool.

650
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: And the wedding thing is so hurtful. I just for

651
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 1: a second one to reflect that is so hurtful, manipulative

652
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: and like gaslighting. I'm like, if I were there, I'd

653
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: be like, am I crazy? That is so gaslighting. So

654
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: there's a couple levels I'm looking at here where it

655
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: is so mean to your partner and so mean to

656
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: you you're her best friend of ten years that she's

657
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: like fighting for. That is so I mean, honestly low

658
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: key violent to both of you. That's a lot to process.

659
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: I'm so excited by the way you're talking about him

660
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: and that the rest of your community is so into him.

661
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: Look at she smile. I mean, that's like, dude, that's

662
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: I've chills, Like there's nothing better why I'm obsessed with

663
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: I just like Doe Koy. I mean, it's like, dude, like, also,

664
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: you're becoming a doctor. You need support in order to

665
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: care for all these people that you're about to care for.

666
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: So as we get older, the different ears and decades

667
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: that we go through, our priorities shift. And you know,

668
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, maybe she was the type of person who

669
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 1: who was the correct best friend for when you were

670
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: dating scumbags. Maybe she's not the right person for when

671
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 1: you're dating a gem. And I really like Chelsea's idea

672
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 1: of an email, just because it gives written boundaries almost

673
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: like legally, it's like, but I said this, you know,

674
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: it's you can't always hold people to you said this.

675
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 1: People change, things change, But I like that in an email,

676
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: and I'm what I like about it actually is that

677
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 1: it provides distance. I don't think that being close to

678
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 1: this person is healthy. I don't think that you have

679
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 1: to be like, I'll never talk to her again because

680
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: you know, if she feels like family or something. We

681
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: all have racist family and it's not like, you know,

682
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: you can never talk to them again, and you can

683
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: also interact with them in a way that is health

684
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: through exercising healthy boundaries. But I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't

685
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: want her at my wedding if I were you or

686
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 1: your partner, because that's just not chill and relaxing and joyful.

687
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: There's like something to keep your eye on in mind

688
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: on there, like you don't want any you don't need

689
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,720
Speaker 1: any stains, you know, like you don't need any stains

690
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:09,760
Speaker 1: on the day to day. Yeah. And I would also

691
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: remind you that, you know, sometimes when you cut off

692
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: a friendship, I know you're viewing it as a loss,

693
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: but it can be a gain, you know what I mean.

694
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: When you set your standards to be higher, you're gaining

695
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: because you're saying this is no longer acceptable to me.

696
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: I will not tolerate this behavior from you. I love you,

697
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: and you can say that would love you know, sometimes

698
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: friendships do exhaust themselves or they have a expiration date,

699
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 1: and that can be depressing. But you don't have to

700
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: look at it that way. You have to look at

701
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 1: it as you're growing, you're becoming less tolerant of any

702
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: kind of that of that behavior also in service to

703
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: your partner, like you respect him, and that's showing him respect,

704
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to allow you to be treated

705
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: this way, you know, and that's going to have to

706
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: make you feel good. You know, there's no reason it shouldn't.

707
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: Like you're standing up for yourself and you should stand

708
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: up for yourself. Protecting him and protecting your relationship is

709
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: protecting yourself. Like that just sounds like such a great situation.

710
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: At first, when you said ultimatum, I was like a

711
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: But then to hear the actual details, it's like that's

712
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: that's your partner protecting himself and your relationship. He's he's

713
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 1: seeing what's healthy. Yeah, And I don't see it as

714
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: an ultimatum. I just see it as like a letter,

715
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 1: like a missive of saying, hey, I understand we're in

716
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: different places right now, so we're going to take a

717
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 1: time out from our relationship. I'm always here I'm always

718
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 1: here for you if you want to come back, and

719
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 1: you know you feel like you know you've changed or

720
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: your your behave you know, you'll find the right words

721
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 1: to describe the situation for what it's worth. Don't over

722
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 1: like describe the details and the minut ship that's irrelevant.

723
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 1: It's more broad strokes. You know. It's like we've been

724
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: friends for a long time. That means a lot to me.

725
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 1: And I would never disrespect you in this way, or

726
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: I would want to be available for you, Like if

727
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 1: I said something that would ever hurt your partner, your husband,

728
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: I would always want to be you know, aware of that,

729
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: and I would want to amend or change my behavior

730
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: become a little bit more clued into what's acceptable these days.

731
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: But as a gay man and as a partner of

732
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 1: somebody that you love that it sounds like you're going

733
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 1: to be with for quite some time. Yeah, you owe

734
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 1: that relationship more respect than you owe your previous relationship.

735
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, you're coming home

736
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 1: to him, not to her. You know, it's like you

737
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: define these two people, and when you talked about him,

738
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: it's like lovely, amazing. The thing I've been looking for

739
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 1: and when you talked about her, it was difficult overreacting

740
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 1: kind of racist. And I think when you look at

741
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: it in those basic terms, like like Alana and Chelsea said,

742
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,399
Speaker 1: there's a reason we start to outgrow some of those

743
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 1: relationships at I do feel like it's definitely a growing experience,

744
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: like it's time to it's time to grow up and

745
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: kind of make some of the harder decisions that I've

746
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: been avoiding for a long time. This relationship is super

747
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 1: important to me and definitely one that I see going

748
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: long term. So yeah, I think it's time to put

749
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,839
Speaker 1: on the big boy pants and make a decision like that. Yeah,

750
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: And it's going to bring you and your partner even

751
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: closer together because he's going to understand that you're going

752
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: to up up to the plate for him and he

753
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 1: should know that. You know, that's what a partnership is about.

754
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 1: That she he's got your back. She doesn't have your back.

755
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: She's shown you that a few times, so you don't

756
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: need to find that out again. Yeah. It's definitely, um,

757
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: you know, not easy for me, but I'm excited for

758
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: what the future has with us. Yeah, exactly. And I

759
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: think once you do that, Bryson and your your avoidance

760
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: of conflict will actually diminish. You know, once you get

761
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 1: the ball rolling and you do it once, all of

762
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 1: a sudden, you're like, oh wait, this is good, this

763
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 1: is empowering. This is what I should be able to

764
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 1: do to stand up for myself, my loved ones, my family,

765
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:38,359
Speaker 1: the people that are important. Perfect to meet you. Thank you,

766
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: congrats on about to be graduating medical school. That is

767
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 1: a huge difficult accomplishment. Good job, Thank you so much.

768
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: Take care. Thanks by Bryson. I was just about to

769
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 1: add I'm glad that he's going to be graduating medical

770
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 1: school without her ruining the graduation. It's not that she

771
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 1: would show up for it, because she sounds like she's

772
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: so wrapped up at her own stuff. But imagine doing that,

773
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: Like you give you know, your friend comes down, you

774
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: have this whole thing with his friend. I mean, what's

775
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: your defense? Like she hears them talking about her, But

776
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 1: what's her defense. I didn't say those things. She's he's

777
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,839
Speaker 1: basically talking about what he heard her say, you mean

778
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: in the bedroom, and she abuse but and she's like

779
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 1: it sounds like the person that you get super drunk with,

780
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 1: and she's messy and it's funny. And now he's growing

781
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 1: up and it's like, sorry, girl, and she's gonna have

782
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: a challenging um, you know, good luck to her. Yeah,

783
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: when you're described as abrasive, I mean I I remember

784
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: times and when I was younger that being described as that,

785
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: and I was like, what people are totally misreading me,

786
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: And it's like no, no, no, you are abrasive. And

787
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: then you have to come to terms with that and

788
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: understand your abrasiveness and how that affects you know, like

789
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,919
Speaker 1: your intention or what you're saying isn't always how things

790
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: are digested, and you have to be self aware enough

791
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 1: to get to get that, and sometimes people don't want

792
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: to ever hear that. And actually to that point, it's like,

793
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 1: so maybe she can change, but it's not going to

794
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: happen through repeating the behavior or level of relationship that

795
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 1: they've had thus far. This change that Bryson is about

796
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 1: to invoke will probably help her as well. Yeah, absolutely,

797
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: because showing up to a wedding and finding out that

798
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: everyone else had the plus one there, it's such a

799
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,479
Speaker 1: funk you. That is such a fuck you. I would

800
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: have ended that relationship that day and never spoken to

801
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: that person. I'm like, I can't stay here COVID. I'm like, no, no, no, yeah,

802
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: nearly nearly. Anyway, we wrapped that up with a nice

803
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:33,839
Speaker 1: little bow. Yeah, this is a tricky one. Our next

804
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: email comes from Liza. She says, my son's best friend

805
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 1: is an eleven year old girl who is an open

806
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 1: and proud lesbian, and she's the daughter of my best

807
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: friend of almost twenty years. Our children have been friends

808
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 1: for their entire lives. They both were over for Thanksgiving

809
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: and spent the night as they had done many times before,

810
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 1: and it was all okay until I got an urgent

811
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 1: phone call Sunday night on Thanksgiving. My son had forcefully

812
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: kissed her honor with tongue after being told no on

813
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: a failed attempt. Her daughter is saying he sexually assaulted her.

814
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: Her mom says she is traumatized and never wants to

815
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 1: see him again. I have so much guilt. My friendship

816
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,240
Speaker 1: with my best friend is now in a very weird place,

817
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: and I feel like shit. Other than therapy for my son,

818
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: which he is about to start on Tuesday, signed up

819
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 1: initially because of school behavioral issues, I don't know what

820
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: to do. What do I do to teach my son

821
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: consent and mend my friendship. Liza. Okay, Liza, that's really difficult,

822
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: I do. I mean, that is a very difficult situation.

823
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: I think first you have to give your friends some space,

824
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 1: like and her child some space, and not bombard her,

825
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: not that that's what you're doing, but make sure you're

826
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 1: giving her the amount of space that it takes you

827
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: to address the situation, you know, because if you go

828
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: back and you're like, let's fix our friendship, she's not

829
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: there yet. And she and she sounds like you guys

830
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: have been friends for a long time. You know, this

831
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 1: is really unfortunate. Obviously, your son does have some behavioral issues.

832
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: If she had told him no before and he did

833
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: that to her, even if you did that to her

834
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: without her telling him no, that's not acceptable. So you're

835
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: addressing those. You should also get yourself into therapy, you

836
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean, because your parenting obviously can help

837
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 1: be helped by any sort of child family like an

838
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 1: MFCC will help you understand what you can be doing

839
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:23,239
Speaker 1: to better help your son understand the boundaries and the rules,

840
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: like a Marriage Family Child counsel um, and they can

841
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: help you, you know, like or a psychologist or so

842
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 1: you know, you know, a psychiatrist. Whatever you choose to do,

843
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: m f ccs tend to be more affordable, so you can, like,

844
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 1: you know, you just have to understand how you're supposed

845
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 1: to direct your child, because that's the responsibility you have

846
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,839
Speaker 1: to take. Putting him in therapy is great, but you

847
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: also need to understand what your role is, what your

848
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: husband or partner's role is in this dynamic as well.

849
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: And then you know, once you've learned and gleaned some

850
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: valid information and valuable information and you started to see

851
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: a change in your son and he is as sorry

852
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: as he's going to get about this, then you can

853
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: reach out to your friend and offer an apology. And

854
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: and you know, understand that the little girl may not

855
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,879
Speaker 1: be interested in seeing him anytime soon, but that you're

856
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: available if and when she does become ready, that you

857
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 1: and your son are available to go there, whether it's

858
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 1: in person, whether it's via email, you know, zoom, whatever

859
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 1: is appropriate and in the moment to actually have a

860
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: conversation when you have information about why he did act

861
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 1: like that and why he has started to change. You know,

862
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: I don't think like apologies have that much merit until

863
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: somebody's actually done a little bit of work on their

864
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 1: side of things. I have very little, just like only

865
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: an underline that's that's right, And that's like a that's

866
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 1: a hard situation. It's kind of like I've been thinking

867
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: of I just had a baby five and a half

868
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 1: months ago, and I've been thinking about families as like onions,

869
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 1: where it's like the baby and the mother, I mean,

870
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 1: at least in the very beginning, are one, and the

871
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: next layer is the partner, you know, around that that layer,

872
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: and then the next layer is whoever the next support

873
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 1: layer is. And for your son to get hell, you

874
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: probably need some support also in supporting him. And it

875
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 1: is your job to support him first and foremost, and

876
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: then to understand yourself. And I guess that's probably what

877
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: your best friend is doing with their child too, is

878
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: supporting their child, and that's going to take time and space. Yeah,

879
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: and it might be worth just, you know, just to

880
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: make yourself feel better, you know, to send her an

881
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 1: email saying that these are my points of action, and

882
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: this is what I'm gonna do, and I'm going to

883
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 1: give you the space that you need. Obviously, I'm going

884
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 1: to try to fix this situation. But I'm going to

885
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: come back to you when I have something to fix

886
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 1: it with, so that she knows that you're on the road.

887
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's devastated as well, of course. I mean,

888
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: nobody wants their little girl to go through that, and

889
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 1: nobody wants to lose their best friend. You guys have

890
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:45,399
Speaker 1: a friendship. But remember they are kids. These are little kids.

891
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: They're eleven years old, right, that's what she said. Their

892
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 1: age was, So like, this isn't the end of the world,

893
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,919
Speaker 1: This isn't define your son. This is a great opportunity

894
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,320
Speaker 1: for learning and growth, huge opportunity so that this doesn't

895
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: happen again, and that you raise a son that understands

896
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: and respects boundaries. Because also, like teaching your son consent

897
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 1: is a new concept in the mainstream discourse. Of course

898
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 1: that's always there, but it's like it's just at a

899
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 1: new level right now. So I love Chelsea's point of

900
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,919
Speaker 1: it being a great opportunity, and they are kids, I think,

901
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: just something that if you can be gentle with yourself, yeah, yes,

902
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:22,240
Speaker 1: and please keep us posted, let us know what happens

903
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: and how it goes with therapy with your son and

904
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: with your friend when you do reach out to her

905
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: and hear back from her. It's really like so generous

906
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 1: to share this anecdote and let it be in the conversation. Yeah,

907
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: we're going to take a break and then we'll be

908
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: really back. Well. Our last call of the day is

909
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: from Sarah. Sarah says, Dear Chelsea, how do you gracefully

910
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 1: take compliments? I'm somewhat of a self conscious person who's

911
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: always had trouble knowing what to do when someone gives

912
00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 1: me praise, specifically compliments regarding my son and soon to

913
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: be second son. I adopted my fourteen year old when

914
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 1: he was young because his parents were not able to

915
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: take care of him. I was with his dad for

916
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 1: a time and that didn't work out, but my kiddo

917
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,760
Speaker 1: stayed with me. When people find this out, they fall

918
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 1: all over themselves giving me praise, and I never know

919
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 1: what to say. I want to show I'm thankful, but

920
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 1: also that that's not really necessary. I take care of

921
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 1: my son because it was a need I could fill,

922
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 1: and it brings me joy. My fiance and I are

923
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: now adopting another little one in a similar situation of need,

924
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: and I feel so uncomfortable when people pour on the admiration,

925
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: and I just don't know what to say. As you

926
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: are someone who helps many more people than me, I

927
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 1: thought you might have some expertise in this area. Sarah Hi,

928
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 1: Sarah Hi, Chelsea, Hi, how are you? This is a

929
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,839
Speaker 1: Laana Sarah Hi, Alana. I know who you are. I'm

930
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,280
Speaker 1: a fan. Thank you so much for having me today.

931
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 1: So nice to meet you. Oh, it's nice to see you. Yes,

932
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 1: it's very nice to see you. So you just have

933
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: a problem with people heaping praise on you because you're

934
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 1: a great mom when you put it like that, No,

935
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,280
Speaker 1: I just think sometimes like I want to be really

936
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: accepting of the admiration, but it feels uncomfortable to just

937
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: be like, oh, well, thank you, I know I'm so great,

938
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,479
Speaker 1: Like I really appreciate you noticing. I feel like there's

939
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 1: got to be something that's like makes people understand that

940
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 1: I really am grateful for them saying that and maybe

941
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: more acknowledging that it is something a little bit different

942
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: and their praise really does mean that extra bit. I

943
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 1: feel like there's gotta be more something to show how

944
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 1: much I care that they're taking the time to show

945
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: that to me. Yeah, well, I think This is so easy.

946
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm not great at taking compliments either,

947
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: but I'm getting different kinds of compliments and you're getting

948
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: so that's my own issue. But you just have to

949
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 1: flip that little narrative in your head and every time

950
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: somebody gives you that compliment, it's an opportunity for you

951
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: to express to them how grateful you are a to

952
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 1: be in the position that you are, that you're able

953
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 1: to do this right, that you're able to be joyful

954
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: while doing this, that you're able to have a good time.

955
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 1: That it's like, this is your purpose in a sense,

956
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, It's one of your purposes

957
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 1: for sure. And oh my gosh, I love that so

958
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: much that just in itself is the best answer that

959
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: I could ask to give when that someone says this

960
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 1: to me, that to me sounds so much more than

961
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: oh well, thank you, like, oh, this is my purpose.

962
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: That actually feels like when people are coming from this

963
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 1: heartfelt place that they would feel heard by me repeating

964
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: something like that to them. Yeah, it's that simple, and

965
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 1: just start saying that. You know, you can write down

966
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 1: three different variations and responses you have and just rotate

967
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: them like it's great to be able to be good

968
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 1: at something, you know, it's great to me, and so

969
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 1: good at being a mother. Like these kids are my

970
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 1: life and they're a gift to me, so I'm able

971
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 1: to give them the gift back of being a present parent.

972
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 1: You bet, I'm a psyched to do this. Thank you

973
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,960
Speaker 1: for noticing you know, all of those things. That's amazing.

974
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 1: I love those answers, all of them, and you deserve

975
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: all of the credit and congratulations on your people's choice.

976
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 1: The word that is so awesome. Thank you so much.

977
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 1: Definitely earned it. You're making people smile and making a

978
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: difference all the time to oh, well, thank you, thank

979
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: you for that compliment. Yeah, that means a lot to me.

980
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 1: By the way, that's another thing you can say when

981
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: people compliment you, that means a lot to me. You know,

982
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: that's true. That's awesome. Actually, yeah, I tried never to say.

983
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,919
Speaker 1: The one thing I try to always remember is never

984
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 1: to say thank you mindlessly, Like, you know, even if

985
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: it's like I'm at an event and they're all my

986
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 1: fans are there and they're saying something, you know, it's

987
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 1: over and over again. Like I don't want to project

988
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: any sort of getting used to that. Ever, it doesn't

989
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 1: matter how long you've been doing this. You want to

990
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 1: just be present for each person so you can receive

991
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 1: their compliments and look them in the eye and be

992
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: like really appreciative, you know. So that's also something Just

993
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,439
Speaker 1: as long as you're connecting with the person who's giving

994
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: you the compliment and being heartfelt, then it lands. Yeah,

995
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: I totally agree. I feel like you're completely understanding where

996
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,959
Speaker 1: I'm coming from when I say that, just saying thank

997
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 1: you kind of feels like there's there's something just below

998
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: the surface more that you can make sure that they're

999
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 1: hearing you. So do you do you have trouble accepting compliments? Yeah, totally.

1000
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: And I was just thinking, Sarah, like, I mean, I

1001
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 1: get why people like vell for you. You're so sweet

1002
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: and also like you have such a caring nature about you.

1003
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,760
Speaker 1: And I was even just thinking just the like feeling

1004
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: it in your body, like really, all you need to

1005
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: say is thank you. Although it helps to have like

1006
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,920
Speaker 1: a stable of things that you do actually mean, but

1007
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 1: it is hard to like feel it. It feels like electricity,

1008
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: right because it's exciting and you do feel seen and

1009
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,439
Speaker 1: then to be like thank you it's it does take. Um.

1010
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: It's kind of a skill actually to hold that energy

1011
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 1: of someone else's so uh, I totally get it. And

1012
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: you're right though, to be like thank you, thank you,

1013
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: it's like you don't want that either, So yeah, it's

1014
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: kind of seems like a practice for you in presence

1015
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: that you're looking for. Yeah, you keep practicing that, and then,

1016
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 1: like you know, after the first three or four weeks,

1017
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: it's going to be second hat to you. And that's

1018
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 1: when you get into good habits. It's so easy to

1019
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 1: rehabituate yourself, definitely, And I do want to make space

1020
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 1: for people just like you're saying to acknowledge that. I

1021
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: really appreciate them taking that minute to be like, hey,

1022
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: what you're doing is kind of different, and so I

1023
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 1: just love those answers and I really appreciate that. Well,

1024
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 1: thank you so much practicing Yeah, oh there there you

1025
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,320
Speaker 1: know God, And I missed it because I was busy

1026
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 1: saying thank you, but thank you for calling in. That

1027
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 1: was a very upbeat way for us to wrap up

1028
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: our episode today. So we love that always. Thanks to me.

1029
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 1: You n keep killing it, Thanks Sarah, thank you. Okay, Yeah,

1030
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 1: that was a good That was a good last call Katherine,

1031
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 1: because yeah, I know what talk about upbeat. I'm calling

1032
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: into figure out how to say thank you more and

1033
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: more sincerely. I like it was about to faun and

1034
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 1: I was like no, no, no, like stop, um, I

1035
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 1: actually like give compliments. That's like part of like one

1036
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 1: issue I have. I give compliments a lot. I mean

1037
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 1: them all, I really do. But it's like it's it's

1038
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: also like I need to hold the thing, like I

1039
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 1: just love you and could I could veil, but it's

1040
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,840
Speaker 1: actually important for me to just hold how much I

1041
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:16,280
Speaker 1: love you. So like I was feeling that about Sarah

1042
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: and it's like it's it's funny holding energy is like

1043
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, we kind of spill over and it's

1044
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: like Instagram you like and you like and you know,

1045
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. I'm like not in Instagram today,

1046
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: but um, you know, just our world is designed for

1047
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,879
Speaker 1: like these like little compulsion check boxes. And I get

1048
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 1: where she's coming from. Yeah, but I think that makes

1049
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 1: you unique, you know what I mean. It's a nice quality,

1050
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 1: like holding back your affection or being effusive about somebody

1051
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 1: is when it's sincere, which it always is with you.

1052
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 1: I think people can also read that, and I think

1053
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: that you know, you don't want to like monitor your

1054
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: personality in that way. You may think you're over doing it,

1055
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 1: but like even you mentioning Joe, I was like, I

1056
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: didn't see that at all, you know what I mean.

1057
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: So that's our own personal thing. That's like me always

1058
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 1: I always had that with inserting myself. That's something I

1059
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 1: should hold back on because it's not necessary all the time.

1060
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 1: But when you're bringing joy and giving somebody props that

1061
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 1: there's nothing ever wrong with that, right, Well, it's like

1062
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,800
Speaker 1: I'm measuring the balance between I mean, it is always sincere,

1063
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: but it's like I don't want it to be a compulsion.

1064
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 1: It's a little bit like you know, just like coming

1065
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: all over somebody where it's like you know, like it

1066
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: also like puts this spotlight on people that as Sara said,

1067
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 1: it is like there's a balance there. You know. It's

1068
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 1: a little bit for me to let them know how

1069
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 1: I feel where it's like for me to walk away

1070
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 1: today like oh, Chelseie, you know there's part there's part

1071
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 1: of it for me to hold and just enjoy. Well, yeah,

1072
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying. Yeah, we're always I know

1073
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 1: it's a constant of self examination, especially if you're you know,

1074
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 1: like to be enlightened or like to think of yourself

1075
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: in the process of being enlightened, because we can't say

1076
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 1: enlightened because then we're cooked, and then there would be

1077
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 1: no reason to be here. That's right, at least that's

1078
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 1: what I keep telling myself. It's true. It's a climb. Well,

1079
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 1: one last thing, Alanna, do you have a piece of

1080
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 1: advice you'd like to ask Chelsea about? Yes, you know

1081
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 1: these days as stand up is an amorphous process compared

1082
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 1: to what it used to be, which was so clear

1083
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 1: you just get out and do it and try. I

1084
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: am curious how you are dealing with COVID on tour.

1085
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: I'm curious how you know? Are you like you know,

1086
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: are you vaxed all the way such that you're like

1087
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: I did all that I can do. I gotta live

1088
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 1: my life. Are you you know? Here I am with

1089
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: this mask? What what? How are you dealing with it? Well?

1090
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 1: I have maccination vaccination requirements at the venues, so if

1091
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 1: they're not vaccinated, then they have to get a PCR

1092
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: test at the venue. Like in Detroit, that was a

1093
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 1: city I remember we had to start in an hour

1094
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 1: and a half late because there were two hundred people

1095
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: online getting getting their PCR tests because they were not

1096
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,399
Speaker 1: bad because they were not vaccinated. And is that can

1097
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 1: you do that no matter what the state? I don't

1098
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 1: know the rules behind that because my my tours with

1099
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: Live Nation, so there are a lot of Live Nation venues,

1100
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: all Live Nation venues. It's mandatory vaccination. I'm vaxed, boosted

1101
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 1: and I do meet great though with with people they

1102
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: have to have proof of vaccination to come back there.

1103
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 1: We all wear masks. There's no like taking off the masks.

1104
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:08,760
Speaker 1: You know, if we say hello, we take a picture

1105
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:10,840
Speaker 1: of blah blah blah. So you know, you have to

1106
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: obviously be a little bit safer than you would be

1107
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 1: in your own like home. But it's doable and it's

1108
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 1: worth it. For me, it's totally worthwhile. And once you

1109
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:22,920
Speaker 1: start getting out there, you're going to feel like the

1110
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 1: energy now you know, the stand up, having live performances

1111
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 1: and live crowds, and you are doing a service for

1112
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 1: people like you are coming to their city and you

1113
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 1: are showing up for them, and they value that. I'm

1114
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 1: so ready for it. I miss I miss everybody. I know, well,

1115
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 1: I'm ready. I can't wait for your next one hour.

1116
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 1: I just can't wait. Yeah, her last hours on Amazon,

1117
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 1: that's right, right, called the Planet is burning. Yeah, the

1118
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 1: planet is burning. Yeah. If you If you guys want

1119
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: to tune into that too, and don't forget to check

1120
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: out False Positive if you haven't seen that, that's on Hulu,

1121
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 1: you guys, Okay, so check that out too, and follow

1122
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,320
Speaker 1: a lot of Glazer on Instagram. I can't say it

1123
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: anymore because sweep and bad mothing at all, so I'm

1124
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 1: just calling an instrument crown instat Glazier. Thanks so much

1125
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: for having me. This is so much fun. Thank you Allana.

1126
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 1: I always love seeing you. You're always learning always I'm

1127
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 1: always learning from you. I love you, Chelsea hand Job,

1128
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 1: I really love you. And if you'd like to get

1129
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,399
Speaker 1: advice from Chelsea and one of her guests, please write

1130
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com