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Speaker 1: The Nika Here, Nikki, Hello here, I am welcome to

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Speaker 1: the Nikki Glazer Podcast. It's Wednesday, Andrews here starting off. Listen.

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Speaker 1: I'm still going to do the top of the show

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Speaker 1: by myself. Um, but lately we've been having to do

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Speaker 1: a little bit shorter episodes because of timing constraints and

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Speaker 1: internet issues, so just bringing them in right away. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a I'm fluid. You're so fluid, You're full of fluids. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm pre water. You're like the Earth right Wait? No, wait,

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Speaker 1: we know, aren't we like mostly water Earth? I watched

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Speaker 1: the episode of Curb last night that I had I'm

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Speaker 1: going back and filling in the gaps of my this

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Speaker 1: season of Curb, and I saw the watermelon episode where

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Speaker 1: the guy who lives with uh JB. Smooth is reluctant

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Speaker 1: to eat watermelon and very nervous and like has this

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Speaker 1: whole thing about it even though it's his favorite fruit.

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Speaker 1: Later it's my favorite fruit because he doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: be a serocopical black guy. And it's such a good episode,

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Speaker 1: and Woody Harrelson's in it, and I met Woody h

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Speaker 1: for a second time over my Halloween hawaiill my Hallowani

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Speaker 1: trap and um it just how did you not know that?

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Speaker 1: Did you not see my story? Bro? I missed. I

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Speaker 1: missed that too. Part of my thought process was taking

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Speaker 1: out my invisign hold on my back. I felt that

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Speaker 1: in my spine. It's like the opposite of no. I

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Speaker 1: think people could get into that. It's very clenchy. I

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Speaker 1: don't know where I'm trying to put it. If you

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Speaker 1: watch the video and like hiding it in my swifties,

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Speaker 1: could be anywhere. Um okay, so um, yeah, I met

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Speaker 1: Woody Harrelson for a second time. Okay, so let's talk

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Speaker 1: about it, and let's talk about my favorite person on earth.

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Speaker 1: Huh Danny McBride. No, Larry Okay, so I've met Larry

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Speaker 1: before too, but it was funny. I've met Lenny to what? So? Um,

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Speaker 1: I go to Hawaii. It was a trip that bills.

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Speaker 1: Why did you say like that Hawaii. What's wrong with

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Speaker 1: the way she says it? I don't know. I think

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Speaker 1: it's like she says Vegas. It's it's done something to

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Speaker 1: my ears. Maybe I'm wrong, So tell me how you

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Speaker 1: say it. Hawaii, Hawaii. You go Hawaii, Hawaii. You just

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Speaker 1: give it a lot. Maybe I don't know. I do

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Speaker 1: like a nuncy Hawaii. Well, it's I think it's like

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Speaker 1: h I think like I'm probably wrong say it. I'm

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Speaker 1: probably wrong. I mean I could be wrong too. I

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Speaker 1: say things weird, my morning jacket, um, foods, all foods,

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Speaker 1: breaking breaking bad. I couldn't say breaking bad one day.

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Speaker 1: It was just really tough for me. So, UM, I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I meant that. I really did mean.

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Speaker 1: And you put in David Dobrick. Wait, what's his name? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's David Brick. Oh man, Um, the kids love him.

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Speaker 1: So Jesus Christ to us some kind of start. What

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Speaker 1: was the thing you said yesterday where you know knows

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Speaker 1: knows one bounds that's what she named the Okay, so

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Speaker 1: you're in Hawaii. Yeah, I'm in Hawaii. I went with

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Speaker 1: Bill Maher. Bill Maher asked me in February to go

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Speaker 1: on the trip in New He does a New Year's

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Speaker 1: Eve trip every year to White Hawaii because to the islands.

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Speaker 1: Because he um, he did the same thing that he realized,

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Speaker 1: the same thing that I kind of realized, which is, um,

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Speaker 1: life is hard, and once you get to a certain

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Speaker 1: level where you have enough money, like it's good to

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Speaker 1: like lose money on a thing because it will be

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Speaker 1: such a fun trip. And he did this trip one

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Speaker 1: year and he's just done it ever since. He stays

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Speaker 1: at the same places, he goes to eat at the

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Speaker 1: same places, and they do these New Year's Eve two shows,

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Speaker 1: one in Maui, one on Honolulu, and he brings a

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Speaker 1: bunch of his friends fly over and he brings, Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's go over this, so you fly private with Bill

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Speaker 1: Maher who's on the plane. I want to hear like

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Speaker 1: like the initial let me just say I did not

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Speaker 1: know that Bill mar liked me. In February, I get

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Speaker 1: asked via my agent like, he wants you to come

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Speaker 1: on this trip, and I was like yes, And then

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Speaker 1: Bill Bill ripe me personally after I had heard it

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Speaker 1: from my manager. He followed up and was like, this

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Speaker 1: trip means a lot to me. I would love for

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Speaker 1: you to go. I asked him if I could bring

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Speaker 1: up a guest. He was like, you know, I don't

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Speaker 1: usually have like we don't have a ton of room,

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Speaker 1: but yes, you can bring a guest. And I was

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Speaker 1: like great. I didn't even know who was gonna bring

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Speaker 1: at the time, because it was you know, nine ten

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Speaker 1: months away. Um, that trip got canceled because of COVID.

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Speaker 1: Then he asked he re upped me for the next one.

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Speaker 1: So this has been like two years in the making, nearly,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know he liked me the only time

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Speaker 1: I had run into Bill Mar. Bill Mars my dad's

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Speaker 1: favorite person in the world. I've they've gone to see

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Speaker 1: He's the only comedian I know that they've gone to

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Speaker 1: pay to see that. I've multiple times when he comes

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Speaker 1: to St. Louis. They watched the show every week. He um.

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Speaker 1: When my dad when I did the lie detector test

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Speaker 1: with my parents on Not Safe, which is one of

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Speaker 1: my most watch YouTube videos. UM, to calibrate the test,

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Speaker 1: like if I were giving you a lie detector test

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Speaker 1: right now, to make sure it's working, I'd say, are

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Speaker 1: you wearing new balance shoes? Yes, So like something very obvious,

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Speaker 1: and to calibrate the test. For my mom it was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, is your sweater purple? And for my dad

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Speaker 1: it was do you love Bill Maher? And so that's

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Speaker 1: like how much my dad loves I did ask him

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Speaker 1: that durn thing. I was like, would you go down

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Speaker 1: on Bill Mark? It didn't air it, but like that

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Speaker 1: was one of my lie detector questions and what we

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Speaker 1: found was shocking. On the next not safe with thinking

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Speaker 1: lays and that was canceled in two dozen six um,

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Speaker 1: so he um asked me to go and might only

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Speaker 1: run in with him before it's you know, just having

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Speaker 1: known him. Was one time he walked in. He was

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Speaker 1: at the Cellar when I was going about to go

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Speaker 1: on stage. He walked in while the m C was

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Speaker 1: on stage and about to bring me up, and he

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Speaker 1: walked in with two beautiful young girls sits on the

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Speaker 1: bench where the you know, people that are just visiting

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Speaker 1: going to watch, and I was like, my god, Bill

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Speaker 1: bar is gonna watch me and I'm on stage and

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Speaker 1: I see him leave in the middle of my set,

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Speaker 1: which I took personally, but he probably was just like,

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Speaker 1: I just not feeling this. It's just not my style

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Speaker 1: of comedy for tonight. I was probably saying like, don't

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Speaker 1: fuck old men or something, you know, like it was

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Speaker 1: probably not helping his don d and uh. And this

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Speaker 1: was so many This was two thousand and twelve or something,

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Speaker 1: so I could have just sucked, although I was performing

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Speaker 1: at the Seller and you don't suck if you performed there,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I could have had an off night,

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. So when he asked me, I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, where does he know me from? Turns

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Speaker 1: out he knows me from the roast and then uh,

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Speaker 1: he's heard me on Howard and UM but so, and

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Speaker 1: we have some email correspondence and then I he I

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Speaker 1: do his show during Zoom on Zoom during COVID uh

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Speaker 1: in June, I think from my parents house, which is

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Speaker 1: a great interview. Then I do it again this past

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Speaker 1: June and person it was awesome. And those are the

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Speaker 1: only times I met him. I show up at the

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Speaker 1: airport not knowing what this is going to be at all.

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Speaker 1: I bring Chris with me. We show up and Bill's

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Speaker 1: out there yet I'm kind of running late, and I'm

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Speaker 1: freaking out that we're running late because I just like, no, well,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't late. I was right on time. To like

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Speaker 1: it was. I was got there three minutes before we're

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Speaker 1: supposed to board. But then the plane had issues. What's

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Speaker 1: the deal with private jet? You don't you go, you

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Speaker 1: don't went to airport, no security, right, you just go.

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Speaker 1: You know, Van Nuys Airport. So it's a small private

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Speaker 1: jet airport. You pull up and you walked in a lot.

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Speaker 1: We're supposed to board it to sorry, and I'm freaking

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Speaker 1: out because we I wanted to get lunch before because

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Speaker 1: it's five and a half hour journey and I don't

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Speaker 1: know what's going to be on the plane. I love

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Speaker 1: the idea of Bill hiding and showing up after you

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Speaker 1: just to prove power over you, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: could show up after. But I was so I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad he didn't see me show up kind of late,

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Speaker 1: even though I was running like three minutes behind on

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Speaker 1: every single time we went anywhere, and he would call

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Speaker 1: me like two minutes and and be like, we're gonna leave,

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Speaker 1: but he, uh, okay, so you're at the plane. I

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Speaker 1: get no. I get into the lobby and I walk

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Speaker 1: in and there's like this big group of people. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how many people are going to be going

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Speaker 1: on this. But it turns out it was Jim Valley,

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Speaker 1: who you know Coke wrote all of us rest development

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Speaker 1: with his wife Maggie, who is uh Margaret Roe is

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Speaker 1: the name she goes by her pen name, and she's

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Speaker 1: written all these books and she's an amazing woman. You're

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Speaker 1: going to say pet it's her pet name. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: she God, she's so fucking funny. They're all so funny.

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Speaker 1: And so who else? And then um, a guy named

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Speaker 1: Eddie who is one of the founders of Vice Media. UM,

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Speaker 1: and he no longer works there, but Eddie Corey his

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Speaker 1: his plus one, who is one of his best friends.

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Speaker 1: They're kind of like a you and I situation. UM.

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Speaker 1: Corey Kennedy is her name. And there is Annabelle Gurwitch

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Speaker 1: who was on Dinner in a movie, remember that TBS

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Speaker 1: Dinner in a movie, Beans and corn Bread. Here's a

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Speaker 1: guy and a girl and it's her. She's been in

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Speaker 1: a ton of things. She's also a New York Times

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Speaker 1: bestseller author and breaks from the New York and everything

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Speaker 1: she's she's kind of transitioned from actress to feels like

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Speaker 1: a movie like Clue, you know, when it's totally we

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Speaker 1: even said that at one point that's really funny. So, um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you weren't the person think that, No, I'm just kidding,

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Speaker 1: No that you you should. I did that, but it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't trying in neither circumstance was I trying to

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Speaker 1: make But I didn't I didn't load it in my

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Speaker 1: brain at Okay, yeah, it wasn't waiting there for you,

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Speaker 1: but it's just I had said that because it was

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Speaker 1: funny because I did ask um, then moved moved out.

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Speaker 1: Um so so, oh god, if you're a new listener,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot sorry, you know what, we'll get you there.

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Speaker 1: So um, we love you so much and we thank

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Speaker 1: you for tuning in at all. We don't we don't

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Speaker 1: need to listen every episode, so it was very loud

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Speaker 1: so um. And then it was Chris Kid from Kiden Play.

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Speaker 1: Chris Reid from Kid from Kiden Play. He's comedian now

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Speaker 1: and he's also back on the road with Kiden Play.

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Speaker 1: They're like going out with like Salt and Pepper all

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Speaker 1: these like it's like nineties revival. They're going out again.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, that is so funny, and he would laugh

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Speaker 1: at that, he's of course you didn't Salt and Pepper Kid, Yes,

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Speaker 1: that is so funny and needs to be in an

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Speaker 1: episode of Curby Enthusiasm where it's like, of course you

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Speaker 1: didn't mean it. I know, I know, I know. If

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Speaker 1: you get if you cancel, Andrew because of that canceled

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Speaker 1: me too, because I co sign on how unintentionally funny.

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Speaker 1: That wasn't stupid and you're stupid if you get that.

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Speaker 1: That was so stupid. So um so Chris. And then

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Speaker 1: in his girlfriend Ida who sells luxury cars and who's

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Speaker 1: really cool, and then, um god, I feel bad that

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Speaker 1: oh and then uh, Rick Bartolini, who was the guy

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Speaker 1: that promoted it, his boyfriend, guy named funk. He's probably

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Speaker 1: gonna listen to this. I know, I forget his name.

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Speaker 1: He was so freaking nice. Now they were married, and

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Speaker 1: then um and then let me just think of there

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Speaker 1: might have been Oh my god, if there's anyone in

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Speaker 1: the same movie. So oh. And then Mark Bills, like

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Speaker 1: one of the producers on the show. Mark Bill's like

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Speaker 1: it seemed like his his like kind of assistant, Like

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Speaker 1: there were random women. No, um, Bill did not have

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Speaker 1: any dates with him. But Bill is like a fascinating

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Speaker 1: person in such an like why I love Bill maher

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Speaker 1: more than just being a brilliant comedian and being super

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Speaker 1: generous and like really really nice to my guest and

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Speaker 1: like everyone waiters, like just you think that a guy

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Speaker 1: like that might not but be that cool to waiters

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Speaker 1: and stuff. It was funny. Chris on his show today,

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Speaker 1: Um not kidn Play Chris, but Mike Chris. On his

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Speaker 1: radio show today, he was doing a really fun segment

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Speaker 1: called like you know, uh truth truth or fiction or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and they just say things that happened to them over

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Speaker 1: the break and you have to guess whether or not

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Speaker 1: it was true. And he was like, I loved Bill

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Speaker 1: Maher until he was rude to a waiter. One of

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Speaker 1: the most disappointing moments was he was rude water and

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Speaker 1: both his guests were like co hosts were like, that's true,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, you think so, but it wasn't because

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Speaker 1: he's just so. He's just one of those guys that like,

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Speaker 1: is very what do you talk about on the plant?

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Speaker 1: Like what's the conversation? Okay, so who stilly? When I

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Speaker 1: walk in, everyone is just like, hi, Nikki, they all

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Speaker 1: googled me, they all know who I am. I'm They're

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Speaker 1: so everyone is so nice. We are just like adopted

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Speaker 1: into this group of friends. Everyone's kind of nervous because

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Speaker 1: they're all they all kind of know each other, but

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Speaker 1: not really just throw Bill. We get on the plane.

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Speaker 1: Bill gets there, He's wearing like these big elvis sunglasses

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Speaker 1: and like, uh, just he's just like ready with a

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Speaker 1: briefcase and he's ready to go. And he walks on

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Speaker 1: the plane and we all take seats and we're kind

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Speaker 1: of like nervous, like where do we sit. I sit

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Speaker 1: across from Eddie and um Corey and and Chris and

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Speaker 1: I are on one side of the table, and we

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Speaker 1: just start talking about um just everything, I mean, like

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Speaker 1: how they met, how Chris and I met, and we

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Speaker 1: just I hate to say it, but Bill, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: to my own horn a little bit. So at the

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Speaker 1: end of the trip, Bill's done this trip ten ten

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Speaker 1: years in a row. This is you know, the skipped

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Speaker 1: one year, this tenth anniversary, and he was like, there's

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Speaker 1: something about the trip where everyone was so open and honest.

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Speaker 1: And it started on the plane, probably an hour in.

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Speaker 1: Bill starts making the rounds of like going to each

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Speaker 1: group of the plane. There's like three sections to sit in,

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Speaker 1: and he made it over to ours and we start

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Speaker 1: talking about um Anal and I start, you know, issueing

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Speaker 1: the benefits and the joy that has brought me in

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Speaker 1: my life, and and asking him because he's a very

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Speaker 1: sexually open person, and asking him about his sex life,

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Speaker 1: and he is totally close off to Anal never done it,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, there is poop back there, and then

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Speaker 1: he goes, oh, so you're act. It's not an act

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Speaker 1: and he was like, I didn't think it was, but

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Speaker 1: like that's interesting. And then we start getting into all

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Speaker 1: of that and it just everyone on the plane. There

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Speaker 1: was a moment Annabel Gurwich is in the back reading

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Speaker 1: a book and she's like meditating and I see her

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Speaker 1: like kind of meditating and also overhearing this conversation about Anal,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god. She's like she's sixty

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Speaker 1: but she looks like forty two. She's beautiful and just elegant,

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Speaker 1: and she's kind of quiet. Up to this point she's quiet,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, this woman just like fucking hates me

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Speaker 1: and probably thinks I'm so kid for like being like that,

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Speaker 1: an know, with bill maher like trying to show off

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Speaker 1: and be good, and I'm like, oh, she probably is.

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Speaker 1: Just like this girl is just too much, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I was trying not to be too much. But

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm a lot. Joe Rogan two thousand Joe

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Speaker 1: Rogan Comma, two thousand twelve. Yeah, I've always been a lot,

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Speaker 1: And uh when I was born, I was very little.

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Speaker 1: I was I was very skinny baby, and I had

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Speaker 1: John decided to be in a little incubator like a

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Speaker 1: little chicken. Um, and so he said, we just put Annabelle.

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Speaker 1: At one point, um, everyone is like not into anal

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Speaker 1: No one in my pilot. Well the pilot, of course

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Speaker 1: he is, but he can't chime in. Um what if

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Speaker 1: he over to loudspeaker, Like I love Chris though, because

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Speaker 1: Chris is sitting there and it's just like he just

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Speaker 1: I'm really happy to be with someone who, as like is,

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Speaker 1: hates toilet humor. By the way, Bill Mare also hates

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Speaker 1: toilet humor, So HIV and Chris like really connected over that.

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Speaker 1: They don't like poop and fart jokes. They just makes

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Speaker 1: them recoil. They just hate it. Even though Bill, I go,

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Speaker 1: you have too fart jokes in your act where you

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Speaker 1: literally fart in the act, Like you're like like you

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Speaker 1: make fart sound. Uh it actually is, but highbrow fart

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Speaker 1: and uh. She but at one point I look over

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Speaker 1: at Annabelle and um, I go, God, I'm sorry, I

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Speaker 1: guess I'm the only one even though all of you

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Speaker 1: would be into it. And she goes I love it,

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Speaker 1: and she just like quietly raised her hand and I

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Speaker 1: was like, fuck, yes, girl, thank you, and then it

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Speaker 1: just like opened up. We just were like all best friends.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I really made some solid friends and people

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Speaker 1: I will work with. Like I told Jim Valilei, who

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Speaker 1: you know, kept referencing how he's like an old like

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Speaker 1: kind of washed up guy, even though he's one of

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Speaker 1: the quickest, funniest people ever. He was kind of just

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Speaker 1: making jokes about like I'm an old man and like

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Speaker 1: I'm invisible to women. I He's like, what you have?

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Speaker 1: You have a great career out of you. You have

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Speaker 1: such important things to say. I could be in bed

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Speaker 1: and watch TV the rest of my life. I have

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Speaker 1: nothing more to say. And I'm like Jim, now, like

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Speaker 1: I if I was doing a scripted show, would you'd

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Speaker 1: be my first higher. He's like one of the funniest

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Speaker 1: people I've ever like, just and like I will say

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Speaker 1: that he takes he um, he throws out jokes constantly

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Speaker 1: and will like he does. He he does not pull back,

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Speaker 1: and so there are bombs a lot of times, but

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Speaker 1: then he is funny when he bombs. But you know

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Speaker 1: that is the mark of someone who's just like he's

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Speaker 1: just trying. He just always is lifting up the move.

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Speaker 1: There was one time when we were at dinner and

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Speaker 1: there was an Asian woman at the dinner with us,

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Speaker 1: and he said someone, we were making erection jokes, and

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Speaker 1: he was like erection. He was like, or the way

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Speaker 1: the Japanese uh talk about the when they you know, uh,

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Speaker 1: when they vote in a new candidate, the action like

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Speaker 1: making up and it just fucking thudded on the like

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Speaker 1: a like bread on a duck's back, just and it

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Speaker 1: and he was just like OK. And and even later

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Speaker 1: he was like, God, that was a rough bomb. And

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Speaker 1: we were all He's like, I don't know what I

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Speaker 1: was even thinking. Like he's like kind of old school

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Speaker 1: and makes kind of you know, racy jokes sometimes. But

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Speaker 1: we were around like people that just were cool and

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Speaker 1: like let those jokes kind of jokes fly. It was

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Speaker 1: so much fun. We did. Were five and a half

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Speaker 1: hours on this flight together. We all got off the flight.

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Speaker 1: We're best friends. We all went to our supper hotels.

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Speaker 1: Like during the day, we would go um. One day

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Speaker 1: we went all went to the beach together. We would

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Speaker 1: have lunch together. We would go to dinner every single night,

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Speaker 1: and Bill would pay for the whole thing. These great

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Speaker 1: like luxurious lunches we would all take be advanced together

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Speaker 1: going to the venues and um, we had two shows,

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Speaker 1: so we were there four nights, but we had um

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Speaker 1: two nights of shows. And we did a show in

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Speaker 1: Maui on the thirtieth, and then we flew to Honolulu

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Speaker 1: on the third fair And how much? How you have

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Speaker 1: the show? How did you do? Bill would go out cold.

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Speaker 1: Thirty minutes. Bill would go out cold, literally cold. He

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Speaker 1: would walk out. I've never seen anything like it. We

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Speaker 1: gotta go to break, but I'm gonna come back and

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Speaker 1: tell you how Bill went out cold. So Bill would

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Speaker 1: the show. There was no like what cold mean? Um,

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Speaker 1: going out cold means you go out and you're shivering

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Speaker 1: a little bit. Um, you go out in a tank top.

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Speaker 1: So going out cold means you have no opener, there's

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Speaker 1: no there's nothing to you just walk. It's the worst position.

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Speaker 1: Usually the MC is the worst spot on the show,

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Speaker 1: which is ironic because in the in the U S,

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Speaker 1: m c s are usually the worst comic on the show.

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Speaker 1: They're the comic with the least experience, right, And that's

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Speaker 1: done because it's the least amount of time you stay

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Speaker 1: on stage. Even though you bring up each comedian in

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Speaker 1: the UK and maybe elsewhere, the m C is usually

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Speaker 1: the most like maybe not the big act on the show,

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Speaker 1: but is someone who is more proficient than the middle

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Speaker 1: act because it's such a tough spot to go out cold,

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Speaker 1: and you want someone there that can really fill those shoes.

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Speaker 1: So it's so it's it's not a good wait system.

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Speaker 1: We do it where the first person that goes out

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Speaker 1: doesn't know how to like address the crowd because all

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Speaker 1: the things that come with being a great showman and

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00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 1: and m seeing a show are the things that come

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Speaker 1: after you perfect your act. It's like the you know,

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Speaker 1: audience interaction, it's the stage presence, it's all those things

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Speaker 1: that are built with thousands and thousands. So Bill walks

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Speaker 1: out to literally when did he tell you that he

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Speaker 1: was going to go out cold? Never? I mean he said,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out, then you'll go out. Wait, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go out. I'll bring up Kid or Chris Read.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna come back out. I'll bring up you.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm going to close out the show. So he

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Speaker 1: book ended it with thirty and thirty and uh kid,

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Speaker 1: Chris did did thirty and it uh he but he

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00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: doesn't go out like when I bring up a meal

400
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: to go up cold on our shows. He's really not

401
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 1: going up totally cold because I do, and he is

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00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 1: because he's the first person on stage. But I do

403
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 1: another expression in the biz voice of God, which is

404
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: the sound you hear when someone's talking backstage, like welcome

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00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: to the show. Please put your mask over your nose

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00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: and mouth. But um. I usually bring up a meal

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00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,880
Speaker 1: with a couple of jokes and I'm like, hey guys,

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00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,360
Speaker 1: it's Nikki. And usually I have to say the headliner

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00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 1: does not get You don't hear from the headliner at

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00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: all before they walk out on stage. So I would

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00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 1: do that as like to give a meal something, um,

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00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: which he doesn't need, but you know he I want him.

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Speaker 1: Every comedian, no matter how good you are, you don't

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00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: want to go up cold. It's just it's taking the bullet,

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00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,679
Speaker 1: as we also call it. So Bill goes up, but

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Speaker 1: he doesn't. There's no please welcome Bill maher or like

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00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: the lights don't even change. It's just all of a sudden,

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00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 1: the music goes bom bom, bom bump like his his

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00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 1: real time music. And he just walks out and it's

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Speaker 1: not like it's like he walks as the music starts

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00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: and there's no he's just goes and he hits the

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00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 1: mic and he has a little music stand that he

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00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: puts his notebook on and he flips through his jokes because, um,

424
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: he goes on stage high every single time. He has

425
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: never not been high on stage when he does stand up. Now,

426
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 1: let me say that Bill Maher does not smoke weed

427
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,920
Speaker 1: ever or get high, and he doesn't do edible because

428
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 1: he's had bad experiences which are hilarious stories that he

429
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: shares on. You gotta go see him if you are

430
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,199
Speaker 1: you know, even if you're a conservative, Bill is going

431
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: to hit both sides of whatever you feel and educate you.

432
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,719
Speaker 1: And he's just really good. He's really really good at

433
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 1: stand up. And I would not be saying this if

434
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 1: he weren't someone that I think our besties would like

435
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: to go see. I would just say he's great. I

436
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: wouldn't say this, you know what I mean, Like, I

437
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 1: really recommend going to see him. You'll learn a lot

438
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,360
Speaker 1: and he's one of the best stand ups out there.

439
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 1: So he Um, yeah, but he he doesn't ever go

440
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 1: on on real time or on TV stoned. He's very regimented.

441
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 1: Now for me, if I'm getting stoned before show, I'm

442
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 1: getting stone before Like I was stoned on F Boy

443
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 1: for some of it. You know, by the end of

444
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: F Boy, I was like, let me take a little hit.

445
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: Like we was talking to and then I was talking

446
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 1: to what he Haroldson Will been into that later and

447
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: we were talking this is when we were getting into

448
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 1: like when do you imbibe substances or smoke before things?

449
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: And what he even said like you know what, he's

450
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: a big pot head too, and he's like, I don't

451
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: smoke before a scene? Because I go, do you ever

452
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 1: smoke before a scene? Because I told my story to Wood?

453
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: He we're going too fat? How did you meet? Where?

454
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: Was what? He at the show? What he couldn't go

455
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 1: because what he's unvaxed, And Bill was like, god damn it. Wood.

456
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: He and also Eddie Vetter usually goes to the Honolulu

457
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 1: show because he's the he's good friends with Obama and

458
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 1: he like lives in Honolulu during the holidays to be

459
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 1: friends with Obama and hang out with them like best

460
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: friends with Obama edi vetter, and he didn't go to

461
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: our Honolula show even though he goes every year for

462
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 1: ten years, because he was scared of COVID and so

463
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 1: it sucked that we didn't get these like but what

464
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: he did come to dinner afterwards. So after the shows,

465
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 1: we would at ten thirty or eleven, we would go

466
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: back to the Four Seasons and they would open up

467
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 1: the restaurant that's now closed and they would serve us

468
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: dinner at this big table with thirteen of us plus

469
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,879
Speaker 1: Um Larry was there that night at the show, so

470
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 1: he met. He was staying at the Four Seasons up

471
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: at the show, so I went whale watching that day.

472
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 1: So when I went whale watching that day with Chris,

473
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 1: it was um. We invited everyone, but no one wanted

474
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: to go. Bill was like, I can see them on

475
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 1: Google image. I'm just fine, and I was like, I

476
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: feel that way about literally everything except Wales, so I

477
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 1: get it. So Chris and I went alone. We said

478
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: we'll meet you guys there. Usually we all go everywhere

479
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: as a group together, so this was a little bit

480
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: like is that okay? And Bill was like, yeah, it's fine.

481
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 1: So we go to the venue straight from Whale Watching.

482
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: We pull up and I get backstage and they take

483
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: my temperature and everything, and everyone's already there. We got

484
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: there like five minutes before, behind everyone else, and um,

485
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: everyone's like um uh uh. Mark comes up to me,

486
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 1: you know Bill's guy, and he's like, Bill wants to

487
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: practice the song with you because we always closed the

488
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 1: shows with a rendition of Smile Smile, even though it's

489
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 1: breaking smile, and we needed to practice it because we

490
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,239
Speaker 1: practiced it before and we didn't know what key and

491
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 1: we were So he's like, Bill went and I didn't

492
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 1: memorize the lyrics ship and I'm like fun, but then

493
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: I I quickly looked at them and got them, even

494
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: though they're very hard because they're all like similar but not.

495
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: And so we get we go to this green room.

496
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: He's like Bill, Bill practice. So we go to get

497
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: Bill and there's Larry David and I am still in

498
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 1: my Whale Watching outfit. I went to the venue to

499
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 1: change and I have no makeup on disgusting what hair,

500
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: jean shortcutoffs that of I did not look but I

501
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,120
Speaker 1: did not look like if it would have needed to

502
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,239
Speaker 1: be said, like even Bill looked me up and down

503
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: I go, I'm gonna change. Don't worry, I'm not wearing

504
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: this stage because this isn't like a big show. But

505
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: you know how like if I met Larry David, he

506
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 1: doesn't care for me to go, I'm not gonna wear

507
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: this on stage. Like, but I would have had to

508
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: say that, because even though it doesn't need to be said,

509
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: it kind of does, and then it would have just

510
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: been So I was like, I don't want to meet

511
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: Larry right now, and so I didn't say that, but

512
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: thank god I did. I saw him in the corner

513
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: talking to people. It was like this green room situation,

514
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 1: like it looks like a break room of um an office. Right,

515
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: there's a table, there's like coffee. Larry is there with

516
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 1: his new wife. They got married recently. They've been dating

517
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: four years. They met at Sasha Barrick Cohen's UH anniversary

518
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: party with his wife, Eila Fisher. She she's a producer

519
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: that worked with Sasha Bary Cohen. I've actually worked with

520
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: her on something that I didn't um we didn't meet

521
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 1: when we worked on it. But um, so he's there

522
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 1: with his new wife. They're all talking to my friends

523
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 1: Corey and Eddie, all those people, and I go off

524
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: to practice the song with Bill and Chris. We nail it,

525
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: and I run off to my green room to go

526
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 1: get ready, curl my hair, put on makeup, put on

527
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: my outfit. I come back out and like, okay, now

528
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 1: I'm ready to meet Larry. I walk into the green room.

529
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: They're all sitting around the table now and it's like

530
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 1: break room area, and Larry is and they're all in

531
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: a deep discussion with Annabelle Gurwitch about her son who

532
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: is uh non binary, and Larry is being classic curb

533
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 1: your enthusiasm Larry of like, now tell me what does

534
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 1: it mean? What happens when you know he's asking all

535
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 1: the questions about you know, trans people? And there I

536
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: walk in and I go, Hi, I'm NICKI and he goes,

537
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: we've met, and I go, I know, but I don't

538
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 1: want to go we've met, Like I didn't want to

539
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: be the person. Well, I don't know when he thinks

540
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,359
Speaker 1: he met me. There's no way he remembers meeting me

541
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 1: at this But I didn't want to get into like

542
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 1: when do you think but he he had seen me

543
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: at the roast rod? Do hurt him in the bathroom?

544
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: Go you don't want to laugh because it's so brutal,

545
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: but it's really funny. Like he said that about me, right,

546
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: like she don't want to laugh what she says, but

547
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: it's like you can't help it. And that was like

548
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: such a great little thing that we heard that. We're like, yes,

549
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: Larry liked me. So then I walk again and Chris

550
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 1: is behind me and we're both like, and I go, um, hi,

551
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 1: I'm Nikki and he's like, I know you. He goes

552
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 1: with that, and I go, I know, I don't. I

553
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: was like, I don't expect you to remember me. I

554
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: I love you. I was like, this season of Curb

555
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: is so fucking good. Everyone I talked to we talked

556
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: about it right away. It's like a conversation I have

557
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: with everyone. I was like, you, you just killed it,

558
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: thank you so much, and um, and I doubt and

559
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: I questioned saying that because I'm like, oh, he's probably

560
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: getting it all the time. And then I remembered my

561
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: little rule, which is everyone thinks celebrities here things all

562
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: the time, and so you never hear it. And whenever

563
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 1: you see me on TV or whenever you see my

564
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: face on something or see me in the magazine, please

565
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: send me at Bestie's because I bet you think that

566
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: everyone saw me and sends me something, but they don't

567
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: because everyone thinks that everyone else did bystander effect. So

568
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, thank you, thank you, and then um,

569
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: they got back into the conversation. I'm just sitting there

570
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: kind of want ping pong like tennis matching, watching this conversation.

571
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: And then and then it's time to go on stage.

572
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: So we walk out and Larry and his wife who

573
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: his wife was in the bathroom so I didn't meet

574
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: her at that moment, are sitting. Um. I post a

575
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: picture on my Instagram story. They're sitting front row on

576
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: the side stage, which I realized, Like, when you're a celebrity,

577
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: you never get actual good seats. You always get a

578
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: profile seat at the show. Yeah, you always. You get

579
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: to you get to watch, you get to be backstage

580
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: with the artist, and like I got to see Bruce

581
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 1: Springsteen from the profile. But the sound is bad backstage,

582
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: Like you can't hear anything make you more nervous or

583
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: hell fucking yess it does. This is the second show

584
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: and by the way, I want Yeah, the first show

585
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: I killed, and I want to do different material in

586
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: the second show though, because I, Bill and I had

587
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: a separate discussion um during chris Is set on the

588
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: second night, Bill and Bill had come off stage, and

589
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 1: Bill did the same thing because he's working on his special,

590
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 1: so he did the same sets. But he walked off

591
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: stage and we're watching us a set that we saw

592
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 1: the night before, you know, and he goes, even though

593
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: we're comics and we know that you got to repeat material,

594
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: there's something kind of inherently embarrassing about watching a comedian

595
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: repeat material. And I was like, there is, you know,

596
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: there is, But he was doing it too, Yeah, but

597
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: he was acknowledging even for himself. But then but it

598
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: wasn't about Chris. It was just like we and I,

599
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: Chris and I, uh my, Chris and I were actually

600
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: loving watching Bill Maher's jokes a second time, and we

601
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 1: both realized that there's something about hearing a joke you

602
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: like the second time that there's value to it. So

603
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: there's truth to both. But when he said that, I

604
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: had already planned on doing a whole different half hour,

605
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: but that was cemented it for me, and I was

606
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: I had saved a lot of great jokes for a

607
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: second So I was like, you know what, Um, I

608
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: have a loose idea of what I'm gonna do, but

609
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: who knows. So I go out there. I have some

610
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: Hawaii jokes, by the way that I throw out. I

611
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: didn't do it on the second show, but can I

612
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: run them from my first show? I go, so beautiful

613
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: here were yeah sor in Maui, It's so freaking beautiful here.

614
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 1: You guys live here? You you guys live here? Where

615
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: do you mm hmmm, where do you you guys live

616
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:30,719
Speaker 1: in a paradise? Where do you guys? Um you can

617
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: pass vacation? Where do you go to get away from

618
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: it all? Houston? Um? And then that was the joke.

619
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 1: And then I go, when you get off, when you

620
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: get off the plane in Houston, what do they put

621
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: around your neck? A human? That's funny though, because news

622
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: was the line that Jim Valilei gave me, because I go,

623
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: what can they put around your neck in Houston? He

624
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: goes a news and I was like, perfect. And then

625
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 1: Chris came up and goes, you can say I thought

626
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: it was a lasso. That's great one too. So anyway, um,

627
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: those were my Hawaii jokes. Hawaii jokes relate to that

628
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: because living in Florida, you didn't feel like because I

629
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: grew up in a vacation spot until you went to

630
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: the Bahamas. But the Bahamas you already lived pretty much

631
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 1: in the Bahama. Yeah. St. Louis is the last you

632
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: leave St. You don't vacation. You don't vacation in Louis,

633
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 1: although you should because we have literally forest Park and

634
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: the city Museum and our museums, like you should vacation

635
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: in St. Louis. Um, and I'm doing a tourist thing

636
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: for St. Louis pretty coming up pretty soon. Um, any

637
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: other questions. So Larry David, Larry David, do you see

638
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 1: him take a seat before you go on stage? Yeah?

639
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: Because so they have all the chairs set up for

640
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 1: all thirteen of us on the side of the stage

641
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: to watch during the show. Larry and his wife are

642
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: sitting right front worse, you know, stage right and their

643
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: front right okay, and then there's a seat next to

644
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: them for Bill. So I'm watching them watch Bill. Then

645
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: Bill comes back. He's sitting next to me. We're watching

646
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 1: that or no, this was yeah, we're watching, uh, Larry

647
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: and his wife watch Chris and then he laughing at

648
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: all when he's watching, so you know, he's he's he's

649
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: really enjoying Bill. He's enjoying Bill sits next time during

650
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,479
Speaker 1: Chris is set, so they're kind of talking, so he's

651
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: not as much listening. But uh, and I haven't met

652
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: his wife yet, you know, And it would be so funny.

653
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: Bill walked out in your set again like halfway through

654
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: like you did at the cell. Oh my god, he

655
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: was so freaking nice. So wait, so okay, sorry, sorry,

656
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: so you go out. He announces you you go up

657
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: after so he goes, Bill goes out and uh, and

658
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: I go, I'm standing next to Larry and his wife,

659
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: and I go, I don't like this. I don't want

660
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: to do this. You gotta front, you gotta sit right here.

661
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: I was like, this is please, Will you just go

662
00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 1: to the bathroom or something. I can't handle this and

663
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: he us what he goes, we're freaking, we're excited. We're big,

664
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: We're big. I'm a big fan. I'm a big He

665
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,720
Speaker 1: kept pointing to himself at the claw like we're big fans,

666
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 1: we're big fans. And I go, stop, I go, I

667
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: don't need to hear this ship right now, Larry, I

668
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 1: go I don't go. I don't need to hear this.

669
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,399
Speaker 1: I know I can't handle that. And I go, that

670
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 1: is so nice. I was like, thank you someone that's

671
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 1: so nice. And I go, Hi, it's so nice to

672
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: meet you. And I'm and I say to his wife

673
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: and again, I know that they got married from reading tabloids, right,

674
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: And it's weird to know things about celebrities and be like,

675
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: I heard you got married because I read the Daily Mail.

676
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: But I was like, I go, you guys. He's like,

677
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: this is my wife. And I met her and I

678
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: was like hi, and she was like, oh, actually we

679
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: met on this thing. And I go, congratulations on do

680
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 1: you guys just got married? Right? And she's like yeah.

681
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 1: I go how long have you been together? And she's like,

682
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: you know, four years? And I go, how to meet?

683
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 1: So we're saying all of this as Bill is out

684
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 1: there like about to bring me up and I'm there,

685
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: Chris got all these pictures and be like talking to them,

686
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: and I'm just like sitting there like gallant out with

687
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: her about like how they've that, And I'm like, wait,

688
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: did you, like like how did you you sent me

689
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: a photo? And it was just from behind of Larry

690
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 1: and that's just like how like like so much of

691
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: their recognizable Yeah yeah, and you just here didn't. So

692
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 1: then um, I go out and I did. I wasn't

693
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,439
Speaker 1: nervous at all, like I because you spoke with them,

694
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:30,240
Speaker 1: or just because because I just know that I'm funny

695
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: and I know that like the jokes I'm about to

696
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 1: do are great. So what did you open with? If

697
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: not the Houston not the Hawaiian m I opened with, um, God,

698
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: what did I open with that? Oh? I opened with um,

699
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: you're all wearing masks. I sometimes get worried about the masks,

700
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: being like I'm not scared of it, you know that.

701
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: But I didn't end up doing that. I just stopped

702
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 1: at the uh going like you know, I I think

703
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: of massies like I think of covid is, like I

704
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 1: don't care if I get it. I don't want to

705
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 1: give it. It's like it's like oral sex. Yeah. And

706
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: are you looking at Larry at all? Because he's like

707
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: it's a huge it's like a theater like we've performed

708
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: in the same sizes and he's way off to the

709
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: stage stage right. But I can hear my friend Eddie

710
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: laughing because this is my friend Eddie that I did.

711
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: I did a whole um so compilation of Eddie was

712
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 1: a little drunk. And he's one of those guys that

713
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: like comments after he laughs. He's great laugher, boisterous, but

714
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: he comments after every thing you'll see. So I put

715
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: together a super cut of Eddie watching Bill Maher and

716
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: responding to it and um, and I put captions with

717
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 1: it so you might not be able to hear exactly

718
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: what he's saying. So this is just all of the

719
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 1: times that I and this is probably ten percent of

720
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: the times that he did it. And we were laughing.

721
00:36:49,800 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: The show became Edie listening to Eddie mind snitches. He's

722
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: like two times at the cacklen he goes expensive. Yes, yes,

723
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: that's what he drops his phone. I just have all

724
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 1: of this that whoa. He's one of those guy doesn't

725
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: know what he goes. He goes, Bill bargoes, they have

726
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: a word for it. It's because he's talking about millennials

727
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: being like kind of he has great points about he

728
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: does this whole thing where you know he doesn't like millennials.

729
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: He thinks you know, he was on me about being

730
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: on my phone the whole time, like you millennial on

731
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: your phone? What are you gonna do when you go

732
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: on stage? And I go, oh, I bring it because

733
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 1: I record myself and he goes, oh yeah, I do

734
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,439
Speaker 1: that too. And it was like Bill was always get

735
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 1: into fights. Not fights, but like he go like, why

736
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 1: are you going to therapy? And I go. He goes,

737
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 1: why do you need to go to therapy? I go,

738
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: people go because it even if the person is terrible,

739
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: you let out something. And he goes and what does

740
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: that do? I go, you don't punch your kid, you

741
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 1: don't kick your dog, you don't punch a wall. And

742
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: he's like, okay, yeah, that's a good point. Like he

743
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: would always acquiesce if I proved it was really like me,

744
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 1: Bill connects with people when he debates, and it shuts

745
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 1: a lot of people down because it's so intimidating. But

746
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 1: I loved it, so I'd go, Bill, what are you

747
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 1: talking about? Like it we have a really fun dynamic.

748
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: So but hold listen to him say this adulting part

749
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: and Eddie goes adult like, he repeats the adult ing

750
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: So I made this whole clip of Eddie doing that,

751
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: so um anyway, so I could hear Eddie most of

752
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: the time. And then I got off stage and you know,

753
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: Chris was just on the radio today recounting, and so

754
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 1: I'll say what he said, which was um, Larry's like

755
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: bending over, laughing, slapping his knee and he's like, you know,

756
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: the guy that's probably arguably brought more laughs to the

757
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 1: worlds than anyone, you know, via Seinfeld and curb Um

758
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: is making you know, Nikki's making him laugh harder than

759
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: you know, I've seen ever laugh. It felt great. It

760
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: felt like, you know what, I might not trust literally anyone,

761
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: but I can trust Larry David that it's funny and um.

762
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 1: And so that was really nice. And then he didn't

763
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: go to dinner with us, but he did write on

764
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: the van back with us, and at one point he

765
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: was like, does they want any gum and um? You know,

766
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: Chris Christmas like, I've got I've got some, and then

767
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 1: my friend Corey was like, I've got some too, and

768
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, it's a race for the gums.

769
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: So Chris has he's got has gum and he got

770
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 1: him gum and I took a picture of Chris giving

771
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 1: him gum, and so Chris has this great picture of

772
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,399
Speaker 1: him like giving Larry and we Chris and he had two.

773
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: It was like gum that comes in cubes that's in

774
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: like the kind of cup, and like, I forget what

775
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 1: it's called. And I and last night I was I

776
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: wrote a whole bit on Chris's instagram of what Larry

777
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: David would say about the gum. I said, what happened

778
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: to sticks of gum? I can maybe understand a chickilate

779
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: with a hard shell, but a chicklate shape with the

780
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 1: consistency of a stick. What are they trying to pull

781
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 1: here with a soft cube a cube of gum? I

782
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: like my gumb in sticks, not cubes. I guess next

783
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 1: time I want to chill a chill to chill a breverdge,

784
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: I'll ask for some ice sticks in a cup. So

785
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: I wrote that, and then Chris was like, uh, I

786
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: did have some like to cook two pieces of gum

787
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: in my pocket because the whole cup is covered something.

788
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: I was going to pull them out of my pocket,

789
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 1: but I was so scared he was gonna go, I

790
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 1: want to lose cube. I think I want to lose cube. Yeah,

791
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: And so I was like, that's so funny um. And

792
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: then Larry said goodbye. We got to the hotel to

793
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 1: go to dinner Larry and his wife retired, and we

794
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 1: go walk through the lobby and we're like, oh damn,

795
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: it would have been fun to have Larry at dinner,

796
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: and Chris and I had missed the rand writer there

797
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 1: and then kind of hang in the green room and

798
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: we get back and um, and there was no like

799
00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 1: chalking really in the van. It was like kind of

800
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 1: and then we're talking up front. We were in the

801
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 1: back just like, oh my god. And we get to

802
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: the table and Wall Harrilson's sitting there with his wife

803
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: and I sit down next to Woody because I don't

804
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 1: know why not. And I said to Woody, you know,

805
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: oh hey, I think I told this yesterday. Did I

806
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 1: say yesterday? I said, um, hi, And he's like, Woody,

807
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: nice to me, you know. I go, we met at

808
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lawrence's ages ago. You were so nice. It's so

809
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: good to see you again. I don't expect you to remember.

810
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, oh my god, how is she?

811
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: Or he goes, oh cool, all right, and I was

812
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,359
Speaker 1: like and he and then at one we're sitting there

813
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 1: and he goes, hey, send gen a picture of us,

814
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm not really friends with

815
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 1: her anymore. But and he goes, why not, and I

816
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 1: was like, there wasn't any like reason, It's just you know,

817
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: separate lives. And I go, but you know what, this

818
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 1: is a perfect reason to get back in touch with her.

819
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: And so I took a selfie of us and it's

820
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: such a cute picture. I should put it on my

821
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: main post. Um, I'll save it for when he dies.

822
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: Um he uh, we don't know. It was so nice

823
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 1: and at one point he's so funny and like just

824
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: he was really curious. St. Louis met the two most

825
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: influential bald men in cinema history. He's so cool. He

826
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: was so nice and let me just say, so nice

827
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: to Chris my plus one. No one needed to be

828
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: nice to Sorry, sorry, sorry I didn't. So he sent

829
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: the photo of Gen. She didn't write back, but like

830
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 1: that was our number from like five years ago. So

831
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: who knows. And but during the dinner, I gotta go

832
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: to break and I'll tell you what happened next. So

833
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: I'm sitting next to what Harrilson at dinner and he's

834
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: asking me about St. Louis and about what it's he

835
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 1: like he lives in Hawaii, so I didn't realize that.

836
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,359
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, it's just nice to get

837
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 1: away with the pressures of l A and New York.

838
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 1: And I'm a workaholic, so I kind of it's like

839
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: keeping the alcohol in a cabinet, like you gotta go

840
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: unlock the thing to get it, like I gotta fly

841
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 1: here to get my drug. And he liked that, and

842
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,919
Speaker 1: he was talking to me about like, oh, I could

843
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 1: I think I could live in the Midwest, like I

844
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 1: could do something like that. I was like, you would

845
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: I go? You think I'm I go, I'm like a

846
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: nobody compared to you, But you think people in the

847
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,799
Speaker 1: Midwest give a ship like you might be like you're

848
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 1: a big fish in a small pond where there's not

849
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 1: a lot of celebrities, but it doesn't give a fuck

850
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: about celebrity, Like it's almost insulting sometimes where I'm like

851
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: I've been you don't care, Like I was, like, they

852
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: really leave you alone, like because they don't care. They

853
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: if they cared, they would have left to go pursue

854
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: that kind of thing, you know, like the l as

855
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: of celebrity obsessed New York celebrity obsessed because everyone there's

856
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: trying to be famous and rich. Here in the Midwest,

857
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: people are still have want to be rich, but it's

858
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: just like they don't care about fame as much. And

859
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: then we're sitting there and we order and he's already

860
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: eaten and we're sorry it was before we ordered, and

861
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 1: he just taps me and he goes, hey, um, I

862
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: want you to have this, and he just hands me

863
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: as menu like it was some gift he was giving me,

864
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: and he goes, I really want you to have this,

865
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 1: and I go would he know, Like I just I can't.

866
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 1: I can't, this is yours, and he's like, I just

867
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 1: really think you should know. I was like, this means

868
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: so much to me, Like like we had like the

869
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 1: funny like bit and then like during at someone mentioned

870
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,479
Speaker 1: during dinner like can we smoke weak because this place

871
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: it was outdoor air were the only people in the restaurant,

872
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 1: and you know wood, he lights one up and starts

873
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 1: passing around, and boy was I tempted to partake, but

874
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: you know I did not. I will say that Chris

875
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 1: there was one of the reasons I didn't because Chris

876
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: does not love my pot smoking, and I like I

877
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: like that he likes me sober, and it matters to

878
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 1: me that I'm not, you know, doing something that he

879
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,839
Speaker 1: It's not like he wouldn't he wouldn't make me feel

880
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: bad if I did it. But you know I and

881
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,959
Speaker 1: he knows how I feel about I don't care about

882
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: my streak, like, oh, I've had this many days, like

883
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 1: I can do things. If I slip up, it's not

884
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: going to ruin my sobriety or whatever. But I do know.

885
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: And I wanted to say this to people who might

886
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 1: have that little pats in the back of their head

887
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: when they get offered to drink and they're like, God,

888
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: this is the time to do it, like I'm gonna

889
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 1: regret not doing it, especially with pot. And I would

890
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: say it's the same with alcohol, because I've never given

891
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: into my alcohol tendencies. When I've been around great people

892
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: drinking and you go, oh, I'm disappointing this famous person

893
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: and this is the only time I'm gonna meet them,

894
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: and I'm the lame duck. But I will say that

895
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 1: when I didn't smoke weed, no one fucking cares. No

896
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,879
Speaker 1: one cares, No one thought I was the loser, no one,

897
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 1: no one talked to me less because of it. You

898
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 1: just don't pick it up. It's literally the same as

899
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: if I would have taken it like I passed it,

900
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: and no one knows the difference. And I thought it

901
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: was gonna be this thing. And honestly, I woke up

902
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 1: the next morning. My lungs didn't hurt. I didn't feel

903
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: like did I say something weird? I had my inhibitions

904
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 1: about me, and I was able to have like great

905
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 1: conversations with him and Bill and everyone else the rest

906
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: of the night without feeling paranoia or any of that

907
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: stuff that would have come. So I was really I

908
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been mad at myself if I did it,

909
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: but I was really happy with myself that I did it.

910
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 1: And I don't think if Chris would have not been there,

911
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: I think I would have done it, which would have

912
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 1: been fine too. But I was then able to have

913
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: a really great conversation and not a question that I

914
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: was being too much or weird. It's interesting because like

915
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 1: the people like used to give me shit about not drinking,

916
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 1: we're like friends from high school or whatever, and it's like,

917
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just like a certain kind of

918
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: friend or a certain kind of person that gives you

919
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: shit about not getting sucked up because they're getting sucked

920
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: up and I love them. But then there's like a

921
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: level of like, oh, these people accomplished their passion and

922
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 1: their goal in life, so they're not gonna fucking look

923
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,879
Speaker 1: at the person next. You know, you've got to get

924
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: funked up. It's kind of a dumb thing to do

925
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 1: to someone because you're being very selfish and insecure thing

926
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 1: because you need other people to do something in order

927
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: for you to make it feel okay. They're the peer

928
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:58,359
Speaker 1: pressure is completely insecurity on a one persons, And I

929
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: understand wanting other people to have fun with you and

930
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: person up and you're like, I want to like I've

931
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 1: I hated when I drank and I knew I was

932
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 1: gonna get stupid and there would be people there that

933
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: would remember how stupid I am. Like there is something

934
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 1: to that, but again insecurity, let's get the final thought.

935
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: I've blew past the news yet again. And I know

936
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: we have great stories, but I wanted to play a

937
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 1: game for our Wednesday wild Card literally with cards that

938
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: backed by popular demand from the besties. Know, you got

939
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: a lot of notes about how people like this, right

940
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: yes I did. So. This is the game from Barstool Sports,

941
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna have them send us more. It's called

942
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: Answer the Internet, and it's these questions that are very kept.

943
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: Let it and this question. It's Answer the Internet a

944
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 1: t I questions as fucked up as you are. So

945
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: here we go. Okay, I'll give you. Okay, I'm not

946
00:47:56,520 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 1: ready for this. Okay, asked pull the Internet. Okay, Waffles

947
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 1: or pancakes? Oh, waffles, because pancakes are. But you have

948
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: to eat it with your dick. Yeah, you have to

949
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:18,240
Speaker 1: use your dick as a utensil. Yeah, but wait, seriously,

950
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:22,439
Speaker 1: waffles are pancakes? Pancakes? Wait? Is the dick part really

951
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,760
Speaker 1: a part of Now? This is just this is actually

952
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:31,320
Speaker 1: a normal one. Waffles or pancakes? Now? Um, waffles? Okay,

953
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 1: you like a little It is like the same matter

954
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 1: right right, here's the thing. Waffles. I feel like pancakes.

955
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 1: I could eat more than pancakes to me. Doesn't like waffles.

956
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: Feels like a special thing like chicken and waffles. You know,

957
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: ice put ice cream on waffle. I don't know. Waffles

958
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 1: just feels like once every once a year. Pancakes could

959
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 1: probably be about ten times a year, I think, what

960
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 1: do you think? Um, I don't do either because I'm

961
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: scared of carbs and sugar. But if I when I

962
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: let those things back in my life, um, when they're

963
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,439
Speaker 1: ready to come back into my life, naturally God wants

964
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 1: me to have them fucking pancakes all day, you know,

965
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 1: because waffles have a hardness to them, and I just

966
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: love a funk. But I love the way pancakes soak

967
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 1: up the syrup. Yesterday I treated myself, and I know

968
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: this is such a dumb sentence, it's so l a,

969
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 1: but I treated myself to avocado toast. And I don't

970
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 1: eat a lot of bread, but I find much like

971
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: not smoking pot, when I do eat bread, I never

972
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: regret it if it's in a normal amount. It's just

973
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 1: when you overdo it. It's you're not gonna get fat

974
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 1: from bread if you eat it like a normal person.

975
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: So I ate a great hearty whole like you know

976
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: from you know the hotel. I say it is very

977
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 1: like earthy and avocado toast is the best consistency because

978
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: it soaks up the juicy avocado and his mushy. Plus

979
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,959
Speaker 1: bread is soft like I like, almost soft, not too

980
00:49:55,960 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: toasted up. I love a moist soaked up things. Okay, same,

981
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 1: God makes an amazing avocadd I'm gonna start eating it

982
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 1: more often because man I unlaced their breakfast is incredible. Um,

983
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:17,760
Speaker 1: who has the easier job? Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Dude?

984
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: Easter Bunny easy because to house he's a rabbit. Think

985
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: about like, he doesn't have hands. You can see candy

986
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: all day, doesn't he? Wait, no, he's eating carrots. I

987
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 1: think my parents used like carrots and like the easter

988
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: used to trash our house because my parents would like

989
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 1: make it look like he had been there. And I

990
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 1: was disturbed by a giant rabbit trashing our kitchen and

991
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 1: leaving its remnants everywhere. Um, a real rabbit as a pet.

992
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 1: My buddy had his girlfriend had it a little much.

993
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: It's shipped all over my bed. I love those things.

994
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: We shouldn't have been on your bed. Okay, well, sorry,

995
00:50:58,480 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: I gotta get to a cool one before you. It's

996
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: your here's a good one. Who's hotter? Ariel or Jasmine

997
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 1: areal four areal now not brat stall Ariel? I would say, area,

998
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 1: what about you know? I love Jasmine's a little firefox.

999
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:23,279
Speaker 1: Who would you rather be smoke show, Well, I think

1000
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: I would rather be Jasmine because she became like like

1001
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 1: a powerful than the fucking prince that and you get

1002
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 1: to fly on a carpet and stuff, there's like magic involved.

1003
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 1: But who's hotter? I gotta say I think Jasmine, because

1004
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: I mean I definitely was very aware of one thing.

1005
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 1: Arials pussy price smells like fish. Yeah, but you know

1006
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 1: Jasmine might have a fucking u t I from those

1007
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: those bugs carpet, Her carpet might smell like it might

1008
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: not smell like match. Um. No, Jasmine was hot because

1009
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 1: she I was gonna say, Aril, because she had that

1010
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 1: flowing hair in the water that was super hot and

1011
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: then like you know, flinging it on the rock and

1012
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: the shell boobs, and she had looked this beautiful face

1013
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,799
Speaker 1: and and Jasmine's face looked a little less, it looked

1014
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:21,759
Speaker 1: more cartoony. And Ariel had that like it just and

1015
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 1: obviously as like a white girl I related to. I

1016
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: love that I related to a mermaid more than just

1017
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 1: than Jasmine because she was a different race. But you know,

1018
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 1: as a little girl and Ariel it was in second grade, Jasmine,

1019
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 1: I was in like fourth grade, but I was. I

1020
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 1: think Jasmine for sure, because she had that sexy like

1021
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: um the blue little like the boostier, and she had

1022
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 1: this tiny little waist in the big flowing hair and

1023
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 1: big beautiful eyes Jasmine. Okay, here's the thing, too, Aria,

1024
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 1: It's like Jessica Rabbit without the fake tits. Yeah, yeah,

1025
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 1: you're right, like a young one. That's what she grew

1026
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 1: into after you hit the streets. All right, all right?

1027
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: Would you rather you ready ye ship yourself every time

1028
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 1: you come, or get a boner every time you talked

1029
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: to a dude? I mean it's so funny. They don't

1030
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: even consider that women might play this game because none

1031
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 1: of these men hold on. So I would either get

1032
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: soaking wet, like yeah, every time you talk to a woman,

1033
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 1: I would squirre. I would just wear a diaper because

1034
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 1: ship smells and squirt doesn't. So I would rather squirt

1035
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: when I talked to a woman. What about you, wait,

1036
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,919
Speaker 1: shoot your pants every time? You would orgasm yourself every

1037
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: time you come? Too much to have the first one? Yeah,

1038
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 1: I mean it's not even close. Yeah, that's insane. Okay.

1039
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: Would you go to a football game at a seventy

1040
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 1: thousand seat stadium. If you knew that five seats would

1041
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 1: get ejected into a black hole, but everyone who didn't

1042
00:53:56,280 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 1: get ejected would get five million dollars seventy thousand seats.

1043
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 1: So you have a one in thirty five Wait wait one, no, no, no,

1044
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:16,440
Speaker 1: one thousand people out of no, it's had five hundred

1045
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 1: people in the seventy thousand steats stadium. I know how

1046
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 1: to do this. You have a point zero zero seven

1047
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 1: percent chance, you have one, you have seven seven, one

1048
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 1: h of a percentage. Who's to say that there's not

1049
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 1: more money into black I would not do it. I

1050
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 1: would not do it even if the price was like

1051
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,280
Speaker 1: five hundred million. What if you were a starting comedian

1052
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 1: and you were your age, I would never do it

1053
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 1: because this is this is um squid game. I don't

1054
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 1: I can't know what happens in a black hole. Um no,

1055
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: you like, we'll get stretched and it's I guess nobody knows,

1056
00:54:56,640 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: because nobody will ever survive. We'll get longer. You're saying, oh, ship,

1057
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:05,879
Speaker 1: then he's doing it now. Yeah, I think I would

1058
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: risk it. I think it'd be fun. That's the thing

1059
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 1: that you. I say that, But once I got to

1060
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: the game. My god, you would be shooting your pants

1061
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 1: because I'm coming, all right? Would you rather you ready

1062
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 1: have to piss sitting? This again, isn't okay? Would you

1063
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 1: rather win a World Cup in a soccer crazy country

1064
00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 1: or win any US sports title? Essentially, it's the same

1065
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 1: soccers for gay people. Yeah, and yeah, like and others know,

1066
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 1: Like when you're growing up in high school, like a

1067
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: lot of times it was either football or soccer. We're

1068
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: the same season. And if you played soccer, you're like

1069
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 1: a little because I don't understand the culture around soccer,

1070
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 1: even though I knew it's huge. Yeah in Europe and

1071
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: South America. That's what. You're the most famous person in America,

1072
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: or you're the most famous person in the world old

1073
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 1: outside of America because America, although we care about World Cup,

1074
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:04,879
Speaker 1: most of us don't. And I don't know who wins

1075
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:08,320
Speaker 1: World Cups. And I know two soccer players names Ronaldo

1076
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 1: and Messy. Yes, but that's the thing, is like, So

1077
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 1: I would rather be famous where I am and be

1078
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 1: a big deal where I am, even if it's small potatoes. Yeah,

1079
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: I would rather over there pond. I would rather on

1080
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 1: the other side of the pond. Interesting but I think

1081
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 1: if you lived there, though, you would feel that same feeling,

1082
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 1: rather American idol than Miss Universe. Okay, but I think

1083
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 1: if you lived there, it depends if you I'm not

1084
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 1: putting myself in those shoes because I don't because I'm

1085
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:44,879
Speaker 1: saying it as an American. Okay. Would you rather wait?

1086
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 1: What the fund? Does that mean? Would you rather? You

1087
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: surely know what this means? Would you rather fight a

1088
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:55,240
Speaker 1: kangaroo or look like Sam Castle? Oh? Sam Cassell? Cassell?

1089
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,400
Speaker 1: Who's Sam Cassell? He's just like an ugly basketball player?

1090
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 1: So yeah, that fuck that, And I'd rather frey kangaro

1091
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: of course. Would you rather have flamingo legs or t

1092
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 1: rex arms? Flamingo legs already have cells faces. I would

1093
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 1: much rather have flamingo. I already have skinny flamingo legs,

1094
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: but literally flamingo legs like like claws. I already have

1095
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 1: flood feet. Oh yeah, you got the claws. No, they're

1096
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 1: actually like I'm a duck. I got long arms for

1097
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 1: short I am so I don't know. This would suck.

1098
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 1: You couldn't jerk off if you have. This is a

1099
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:35,919
Speaker 1: good one. I have to go. But would you rather

1100
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 1: be twice your weight or half your height. Fuck twice

1101
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 1: your weight or half your height. Twice my weight, twice

1102
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 1: my weight, half my height. Well you could lose weight,

1103
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 1: could you lose the weight? No, you have to be

1104
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 1: it forever. And that's that's not seven you'd be you'd

1105
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 1: be two nine, you'd be two nine. I'm five nine,

1106
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 1: so I would be five plus so tighty. So i'd

1107
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 1: be like three almost three ft. I'd be a little girl,

1108
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 1: be so little. I'd be the littlest so how much. Okay,

1109
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 1: you'd rather be that than to But um, I just have.

1110
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 1: I just have a lot of body stuff, so I can.

1111
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that and then I'm not. But you

1112
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 1: don't think you have short body stuff if you were

1113
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: that small, I don't know. I don't have. I don't

1114
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 1: when I see short women. The thing is, when I

1115
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 1: see short women, there's no judgment. And I know that's

1116
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 1: super duper short. That's three yes, oh man, that's tiniest.

1117
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 1: I'd rather be twice my way. I'd rather be three times.

1118
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 1: I'd rather be four times my No fat shaming on

1119
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 1: the show, and um, that's my issue. I do not

1120
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:54,959
Speaker 1: look down upon I looked down upon short people because

1121
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: I have to, but never do I. Yeah, I gotta

1122
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: got one therapy. Would you watch a five minute dirty

1123
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: sex tape of your daughter for a million dollars? No? No? Yeah? What? Yes? No,

1124
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: you're thinking of like a daughter that doesn't you don't

1125
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 1: have a daughter, and I know I don't either, but like,

1126
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: you're not gonna want to do that your mom? Yeah?

1127
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: Can you imagine your parents seeing you? H can you

1128
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: imagine your parents seeing you? You know what I would do?

1129
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 1: I would do it, and then I would I would

1130
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: do it and then I would give it to her

1131
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 1: half split it with her and the tapes anymore. Oh,

1132
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 1: by the way, can I just give a quick shot

1133
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 1: thank you for the messages about my mom? So many

1134
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 1: people wrote me and it was very nice. Thank you.

1135
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 1: And yeah, thanks to everyone who yesterday. That was so sweet.

1136
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 1: And Andrews pussy and so guys. Um, I'm just kidding.

1137
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: It was so sweet. I loved it. It It was beautiful. Um,

1138
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: I love you both. No, uh, Andrew, I love you. Bussies.

1139
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 1: Don't be kicked out there. I gotta go to therapy.

1140
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 1: Be uh with the guy that I'm dating, even though

1141
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 1: we're not dating yet and um, we don't be ka

1142
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: Um and Jack. That was really mean, That was jacked

1143
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 1: up