WEBVTT - Sleeping with Your Coworkers with Lauren Lapkus 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.200 Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. Hi, Today is Halloween. It's my 0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:06.040 sister's birthday. 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:08.400 Oh really, my sister Shoshana's birthday is today. 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:09.880 Yes, Oh my gosh. I have a brother in law 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:10.880 who's a Halloween baby. 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:14.080 Happy birthday to all the Halloween babies. 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.440 And it's maybe not your favorite holiday. 0:00:18.320 --> 0:00:20.120 I'm not into Halloween. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:24.600 I don't really like costumes, see I do, which is why, which. 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:27.560 Is exactly Yeah, I would expect that you would like 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.000 costumes because we're pretty opposite on everything. 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:32.400 Yeah, except for both being a pisces. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:35.159 Yeah, we're both pisces. But a lot of people like Halloween. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:37.920 I mean, I'm always amazed that people are so into 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.440 it as adults too. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:43.640 Yeah. See, I just love doing a detailed outfit and makeup, 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:45.080 look like all that and all that. 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:45.320 Ja. 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:48.720 I'm just going to get penetrated and stay indoors. 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:49.760 Oh that sounds lovely. 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.959 I would order in outdoor penetration and have that for 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:56.760 the evening. And my nephew, I believe, arrives tonight. Tonight 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:59.040 is Halloween. Those two things are very separate. 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:01.560 Well, won't and I've been a training friend of my nephew. 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:04.240 But I want to make sure that they don't get 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.440 the idea to come up and stay with me too often. 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.160 This is the one that didn't leave before. 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:11.280 Oh so obviously, if they hear me in the bedroom 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:13.759 having a really good time, which I would never allow 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.520 to happen, I just want everyone to know that I 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:18.720 wouldn't not that I wouldn't allow. I would never want 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:22.959 that to happen, but it could happen, okay, And that'll 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:23.600 set him straight. 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:24.679 He's warned, fair warning. 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.520 Yeah, so did you hear that? Jaki? Welcome home. 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.000 Our guest today is perfect for Halloween because her new podcast, 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:34.800 which is called Haunting, explores paranormal experiences told by those 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:37.480 who experience them, and she also stars in the Wrong 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:40.240 Missy on Netflix and as well as she has a 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.520 new film coming out called Another Happy Day. 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:45.560 Please welcome Lauren Lapkiz. I'd beak at you. 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:46.880 How are you? 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.680 Oh my god, long time no see honeybody. 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:51.280 I know, so nice to see you. 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:52.240 How are you? 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:55.080 You're a mother, You're a Oh my god. There are 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.320 so many things now I know a lot has changed, 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.280 A lot has changed. To give you background about Lauren 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:03.680 and I, the first time we met, right was on 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:07.400 that show that they created it was on NBC. It 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:10.120 was based on one of my books, Are You There, 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:14.880 Vodkats Meet Chelsea Maybe? And Lauren was one of the 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:21.000 cast members with Laura pre ponn Ya Ali Wong. Yes, 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:23.160 and then what is I feel bad that I don't 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:27.200 remember his name? Clerk Lenny Yes, yes, the hot one right? 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:31.600 Oh no, oh no, Lenny's not hot. Sorry, I take 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:33.120 that back. He's not the hot one. 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:34.720 Jake McDorman Jake. 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.119 Yeah, but Jake's and a lot of stuff now too. 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:39.280 I always see him and I'm always like, that guy 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:41.239 looks really familiar. And then I have to remember, Yeah, 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.600 he was on the show with you idiot. That was 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:46.359 a very short lived show. It was on for one 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:48.280 season and that was it, so we only got to 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:50.720 spend a short amount of time together. But I love 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:52.320 seeing you and all of the things that I get 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.240 to see you in and I can't thank you. Yes, 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:56.200 and you are so wait you just had a baby 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:57.960 six months ago, right, your second baby? 0:02:58.280 --> 0:02:59.600 Yes? So you have two girls? 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:01.040 Two girls? Yeah? 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.040 How does it feel to be a mother of women? 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:05.760 It's great, it's great, but I mean, I love it. 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:08.040 I love girls. I was hoping for girls. Were very 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:08.880 happy yeah. 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:14.600 Yeah, I always find that my girliest friends have boys. Yes, 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:17.200 and if you're not too girly and you're girly, but 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:18.000 you're not you're. 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.080 Not overly eirly. Yeah, I would agree with that. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:23.080 Yeah, you have girls and yeah, and I like that. 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:24.200 I like that dynamic. 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:25.760 I like what that does to people because it really 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:26.839 throws people off their game. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:28.760 It's true. 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.400 It's true as if parenting isn't hard enough, then you 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:33.560 have to parent the sex that you weren't hoping to have. 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.960 Yeah, it's crazy, it's a lot. But I'm I'm I'm 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:41.120 coming out of my like postpartum hole. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.600 Were you did you have postpartum No? 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:45.720 I just mean like my literal like postpartum time. But 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:48.080 I didn't have postpartum depression. But coming out of the 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:51.600 like you know, that period of feeling like what is everything? 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.080 Like my body's crazy, I'm starting to feel like myself 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:54.520 more so. 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:56.320 I don't know how anyone has children. 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:58.680 I really don't understand how people are able to manage 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:01.320 all of the things in life and then raise children. 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.600 I am in awe of every woman. I think I 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.240 was talking about this my friend who has four kids. 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:11.040 I'm like, I don't understand how anything gets done in 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:13.560 your life, Like, how do you manage four kids? She's like, Chelsea, 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:15.720 it just happens and then you do it. 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.520 I know, but I literally I used to think, like 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:22.120 four sounded amazing, but like having one is really hard 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:25.760 and having two is actually harder, and it's crazy. There's 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:27.480 just no time to like sit down and think about 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:28.880 anything for even a second. 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:30.560 So it's a lot. 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:32.600 But I recently hired a nanny and that's changed my 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:34.359 whole entire life because now I can, like, you know, 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.279 do this without feeling like I'm split between five things 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:37.599 at once. 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:39.320 It's so weird that I have a nanny and I 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:43.159 don't have any children. Speaking of podcasts, Lauren has a 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.040 new podcast, tell us all about. 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:46.920 It I do. It's called Haunting. 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.440 It's on iHeart, and I play a dead influencer named 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:54.200 Terreza who has she's stuck between heaven and hell because 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:57.400 she hasn't gotten verified yet. So it's like a hybrid 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:01.360 scripted and unscripted podcast. So my portions are our scripted 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.840 part where I'm this dead influencer and then we hear 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.480 real ghost stories from people who are calling in and 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:07.440 sharing their. 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.160 Truth and are you big into ghost stories. 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:11.520 I am, but I'm also very scared. 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.560 I get very scared very easily, and I get scared 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:16.200 of like scary movies. So it's a little ironic. But 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.479 I I mean, do you have any ghost stories? Do 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:19.159 you believe in ghosts? 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:21.200 I mean, I'm not. I don't disbelieve in ghosts. 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.400 I dated a guide that had a house that was 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.200 definitely there were ghosts in the house. I could feel them, 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.040 I could hear them. I couldn't see them, but I 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.520 could feel the presence. But most of the places, I 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:35.359 think I have a frequency that doesn't really allow me 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:36.719 to see that many ghosts. 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:40.039 They're like, you're not open to this, Like I don't 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.760 have time for that, you know what I mean? Yeah, 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:44.920 I feel like I've like looked at Zillo and seeing 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:46.919 a house that gave me chills. Like it's just like 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:49.120 nothing even is like weird about it. It's just like, Ooh, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:52.400 something's wrong, something's wrong there, right, Bad bad vibes. 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:54.160 Yeah, if there's a bad vibe in a place, I'm 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.520 usually out of there pretty quickly. I don't know why 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.800 we associate ghosts as being bad, because I bet there 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.760 are some good ghosts, right, like, what's the theory behind 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.919 why ghosts are even around because they're in the middle 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:05.360 of crossing over or what. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:09.200 Yeah, they have unfinished businesses, I guess what people always say. 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:11.240 But it does seem weird when you think about it, 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:14.960 because literally every inch of earth would have a bunch 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.320 of ghosts on it, you know what I mean. If 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:19.560 it was all just like people who've died and rest 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:22.720 hanging around, it just I don't know, it's hard to 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:23.320 it's hard to know. 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.240 Maybe there's certain environments where they are more prone to 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:26.800 come out. 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.520 Yeah, I mean, like ghost hunter people go to those 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:34.280 special places where I guess there's more vibes they're all 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.839 hanging out waiting in like an old abandoned psych ward 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:37.320 or something. 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:39.280 That's what I want for you, which once the kids 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:41.599 are old enough, I want you to become a permanent 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:43.000 professional ghost hunter. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.720 That's my real goal, that's my passion. That's what I'm 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:47.560 excited about, and I'm going to do that. 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.719 So yeah, great, gas excellent, And now wait, you have 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:54.400 a new movie coming out also, which which is it's 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:58.920 not it's a comedy, but you are very dramatic in it, right, 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:00.760 it's the most dramatic you've played. 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:01.599 I thanks so far. 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:03.120 Yeah, yeah, I think so. 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:05.720 It's called Another Happy Day, and it's a movie about 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:10.040 postpartum depression, so it's a comedy. It's finding the absurdity 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:14.040 in those like really dark, hard things that people experience. 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.760 So it's definitely like it's not like slapstick, but it's 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:20.560 you know, there's comedy. It's different from other stuff I've done. 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:22.800 And I read that she the director had a day 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.679 care on set and even though it was an indep film, 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.800 they had you guys were taking care of so that 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:29.040 everyone could bring their children. 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:30.120 It was amazing. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.200 She made it a priority to have eight hour work 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.679 days so we weren't shooting for like typical movie hours 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:37.360 of like twelve to fifteen hour days, and she provided 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.440 childcare to people who needed it, and it was it 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:42.680 was very It felt like a very supportive environment for 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:45.200 parents and also just for anyone who was not a parent. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:46.920 It was great because you were done at five o'clock 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:49.440 every day and it was like normal, so people really 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:50.240 appreciated that there. 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.679 It was just a very happy set. Yeah. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.880 Well when people are Yeah, when you have help with 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.480 your children, people seem to get much happier. It would 0:07:57.480 --> 0:07:59.840 be nice if our country could take on that responsibility. 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:01.920 I know it's so interesting in people. I think that's 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:03.400 a bad idea. I don't get it. 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.240 But have you had any like I want to ask 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:08.160 you personal questions about parenting and motherhood? Yeah, what was 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.640 your biggest meltdown as a mother that threw you for 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:12.520 a loop de loop? 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:13.880 Yeah? 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:18.560 I mean I think I reached one every few months 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.600 of like just hitting an actual breaking point. I mean 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:23.920 most recently, so, yeah, I have a six month old 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.160 and a three year old, and so much of it 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:27.880 has to do with not sleeping. It's just like the 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:32.160 terrible feelings that come from not sleeping that like I 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.320 reached a total breaking point where everything was just making 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:37.720 me cry. And then I immediately downloaded this like sleep 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:41.240 training app thing or like program called taking care of Babies, 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:43.640 this woman who like tells you how to like make 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.520 your baby go to sleep, and it wasn't I mean, 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:48.440 it has changed everything, so I have to say it 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.040 was worth doing. But it's like that breakdown moment of 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:52.840 like I'm just gonna buy the thing. It's two hundred 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:54.559 fifty dollars. Camera's gonna buy this right now. I don't 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:56.760 even know what this is, Like, let's just go because 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:59.640 you can't function in your own home and get anything done. 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:02.640 Sleep deprivation seems to be the biggest issue because it's 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:04.280 so funny. I was out with my friends the other 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:06.280 night and I was with Karen and Molly, and Karen 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:08.160 was like, you know, she just got her baby to 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:10.760 sleep through the night, and she was saying, I was like, 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:11.680 it's so funny that. 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.600 You have a baby. You're so in love with this baby. 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.080 All you want to do is like, you know, love 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.640 on this baby and you know, see it grow and 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.360 take every picture you can possibly take and like and 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:25.040 then when you're fucking tired, you're like, go the fuck. 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.400 To sleep, Like I can't love you in the middle 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:27.920 of the night. 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:30.839 Also, I mean I know, well, and my personality really 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.559 does go out the window. It is like I think 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.360 with my three year old, she's she's delightful and like 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:38.000 the funniest person ever, but like the bedtime thing of 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:39.880 like I finally got the baby down and then she 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:41.800 wants to just like make me do every single thing. 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:43.760 I'm like singing and dancing in her room for like 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.640 a full hour, Like I have a routine that I 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:48.559 do that involves four songs, and I have to repeat 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:52.040 them as many times as she says, and it's crazy. 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:53.560 There's a song called the Love You Song where we 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:55.840 just list every single person that we can think of 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:59.320 and say we love them, and that's cute. Yeah, I mean, 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.760 then twinkled Winkle and ABC's I sing over and over again. 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:04.200 And then she likes to do a mash up where 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:06.120 she sings one and I sing together because they have 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.640 the same melody, and she just thinks that's delightful and 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:12.280 she's like, it's the same song. I mean, it's kind 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:14.520 of smart for a three year old, but I'm usually 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:15.600 like at my breaking point. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.719 I think they catch wind after a while, like that 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.120 you catch wind or whatever after a while, that this 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:22.680 is the go to bed song, and then they stop 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:23.600 wanting to hear that song. 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:24.800 They're like, I know what you're up to. 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:25.840 Yeah. 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.320 Everyone I know who has two kids says that, like 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:31.120 two is more than twice as hard as one. Do 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:32.040 you find that to be true? 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:32.880 I think so. 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.400 I think, like there's one, like one thing that I 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.560 found surprising was that I feel like it's easier in 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:40.760 some sense because I'm not as like stressed, like I 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:42.840 feel like I get how it's gonna go. It's not 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:44.840 as abstract that she's gonna grow up into like a 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.160 really fun person who like will talk and be great. 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:50.160 So like all of that makes it easier because the 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:51.960 first time, you're like just going through every day, like 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:53.320 how will it ever be different than it is? 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:55.959 Right now? It feels like this is forever. But what's 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:56.559 hard is. 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.480 Like just doing two things at once because they're on 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.640 totally different pages with what they need, and one of 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:04.080 them can tell you what they need and one just cries. 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:06.240 So it's Yeah, I think that's where it gets really hard, 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.360 And those moments where it gets really overwhelming, or when 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.600 both of them are needing something at the same time 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:12.920 and you feel like you can't do everything, and that's 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:14.920 always sad feeling. 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:16.520 Can you just get the little of one a tutor 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:18.400 so she can start communicating more quickly? 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:20.400 I think that is what I need to do. 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.680 Yeah, that's why you're here today, Lauren, and I have 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:27.240 all the answers. Thank you tell me about Like, if 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:29.160 you can, I would love to hear about one of 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.240 your most joyful experiences you've had since becoming a mother. 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:34.800 Oh my god, so many I feel like it's the 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:38.079 happiest I've ever been. I really feel I got a 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:40.760 sack a cry right now. I feel very fulfilled by 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:42.720 being a mom and I love it so much. And 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.520 I think the happiest is like really just watching both 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:49.120 of them and like looking at how they're developing and 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:51.440 how their personalities are developing. And my older one, like 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:54.959 when the more she can articulate herself and say her 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:58.120 full thoughts, like I'm just in awe of it. I 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:01.600 just every is so beautiful, Like truly, every day I 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:03.559 watch her for at least a few moments where I'm 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.880 just going like, Wow, I can't believe you're this person 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.000 who has all these feelings. And then I'll think about 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:09.960 her getting older and how and that will make me 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.360 really excited but also make me want to cry, and 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.880 or her being like thirty or something. It's just like 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.360 such a fleeting period. I think time just moves so 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:21.600 differently watching someone age, because you're like you were just 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.640 a baby, like that's only been a couple of years, 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.200 and now you're this person with all these you know, 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:30.240 desires and you're so funny, and the idea of her 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.680 like growing up and you know, telling me to fuck 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:35.120 off is like overwhelming. 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:38.240 I just came from a friend who has three boys 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:41.200 and one of them is a teenager and the way 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:44.840 he speaks to them is horrendous. 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:46.600 Like I'm so scared of that. 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:47.920 It's so awful. 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.400 And I'm like, oh my god. And she's like, well, 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.280 you know, it's the worst. It's it's terrible. She goes, 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.440 and now the younger kids are picking up the language 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.800 from the older kids, and they're like actually contemplating sending 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.040 him to boarding school because they don't know what to 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:01.040 do with him. And she's like, I feel like my 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:03.480 son is a product of LA. Like that is a 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:04.920 product that is scary to me. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:08.040 So I'm from Chicago and like I'm from Evanston, Illinois, 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.760 and it's like a really perfect suburb of Chicago. It's 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:12.720 just so great and it was such an ideal place 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.160 to grow up, and being out here is a weird 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.000 element for me to like get my head around, like, oh, 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.120 they're gonna be like LA kids, Like what does that mean? 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:22.760 And of course it's like my influence will do something, 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:24.640 but then the world influences them too. 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:25.120 Yeah. 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:27.400 Yeah, but I think kids are always reacting to some 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.360 sort of absence of something, right, Like most of your 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.640 bad behavior is a result of some sort of neglect, 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.040 And not that my friend's a neglectful parent, but she 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.200 even said herself, like I need to be more present, 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.600 I need to be home more. You know, there's always 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.320 like a reason why kids act that way. It's not 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:45.720 like they're just fucking screaming at you, fuck you mom, 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.960 because they're not upset. They're clearly upset about something that's 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.720 transpired or a pattern that has evolved. 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.160 Yeah, and puberty, I think is just like uncontrollable. 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:58.040 If I wouldn't go through puberty again. First of all, 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:00.560 I'm pretty sure I will. I'm going through I'm not me. 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:02.920 I don't think I've hit menopause, but I'm perry menopausal 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:03.360 for sure. 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:03.920 Yeah. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.600 And I'm like, which is worse. I don't know what 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:11.640 was worse, puberty or perimenopause. I read this book, Naomi 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.720 Watts wrote this book about menopause, and I read it, 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.080 and as I was reading it, every symptom hit me. 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.880 I was like, oh, I started having hot flashes, and 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.160 then my shoulder started hurting. 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:22.720 There's this menopause shoulder thing. 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.520 I'm like, what, And I told her, I but yeah, 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.960 there's frozen shoulder that women get. 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.240 And then weird. I mean, I am of the age. 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:32.320 I would assume I'm in peri menopause, but I've never 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.720 really like I get tested pretty frequently, and I'm going 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.120 again after reading that fucking book, because I'm like, something's up, 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:40.480 but all of the other things around it, I just 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.080 started to experience, like all these symptoms that she was 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:43.760 talking about. 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:45.080 And then I came home. 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:47.240 I asked my doctor for something for night sweats because 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:49.160 I was getting those night sweats, and he gave me 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.720 this over the counter thing and it worked right away. 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:53.640 So I sent it to my sisters, and my sister's like, 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:55.960 I use that for six months and it didn't work once. 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:58.200 She's like, I don't even she was, I don't even think. 0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:00.680 I think you just get thoughts suggested to and then 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:03.120 you have them. She's like, you read a book about menopause, 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:04.800 and now you think you have metopause, and then you 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.600 took these things that are for menopause and you're fine. 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.200 She's like, so I'm like, I am. 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.040 I am more impressionable and malleable than one would think. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.320 At least it works for the medication too. If you 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.120 just think it's working. It works for you, like that's 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:18.080 a good side effect. 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.280 Oh, it's called bona Fide, guys, in case anybody has 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:22.920 nice sweats, Bonafide. It's in a green bottle and if 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:24.240 you use that for hot flashes. 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:24.920 It worked for me. 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:26.640 My sister said she used it for six months and 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:28.080 it did. It work for her. But shout out to 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:28.640 bona Fide. 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:32.120 It's fascinating. I'm like, perimenopause is really coming up a lot. 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:34.080 I mean because my friends are, you know, getting to 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.680 that point, and so it's interesting. There's so many things 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:38.840 that are never explained to us about this. I feel 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.960 like my whole life, Like you heard what menopause was, 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.240 and it's like, I guess hot flashes is the one 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.080 thing that I would think of, But there's so many 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:48.120 other side effects and it can hit you earlier. Just 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.520 all these things that nobody teaches us because people don't 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.320 care about women's heelf, Yeah exactly. 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:55.520 Because but you're well, you're thirty nine, right, yeah, I'm 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.720 forty nine, so you're a decade younger than me. So 0:15:57.720 --> 0:15:59.680