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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's desperately trying to get kim

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Speaker 1: Ka on board with his latest idea. It's called skim witches.

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Speaker 1: They're normal sandwiches. They are crammed into a compostable, skin

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Speaker 1: tight elastic tube to make your sandwich look slimmer while

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Speaker 1: you eat it.

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Speaker 2: The curves on that sandwich.

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Speaker 1: No, you don't want the curves on it. You want

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Speaker 1: it to look skinny. I'll have the tuna skim witch,

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Speaker 1: please extra maya.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't sound as good anymore.

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Speaker 1: The perfect snatch for Laser Stories, the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser and there's other

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Speaker 1: scum Witches just don't this. First Lazer Stories out of

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Speaker 1: San Francisco, a couple picked up a Christmas tree last Friday,

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Speaker 1: strapped it to the roof of their suv, and ran

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Speaker 1: an errand on their way home. While they were parked,

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Speaker 1: someone stole the tree right off their work.

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Speaker 2: The grinch strikes again.

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Speaker 1: One of the stores nearby had security footage showing another

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Speaker 1: suv pulling up next to theirs. Somebody gets out, cuts

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Speaker 1: the ropes, takes the tree down. And loads it into

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Speaker 1: their own trunk and then drives off. Wow, it's like

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Speaker 1: a tree delivery service.

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Speaker 2: Do you think Once they got it up, someone in

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Speaker 2: their family still complained that it wasn't a very pretty tree.

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Speaker 1: Being very specific about that brook, did you have something

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Speaker 1: you want to confess here?

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Speaker 2: That backside was a little not as.

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Speaker 1: Not worth it. When police arrived to take a statement,

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Speaker 1: they found out the victim was none other than a

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Speaker 1: man named This is true, Jesus stole.

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Speaker 2: A Christmas tree.

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Speaker 1: They stole Jesus's Christmas tree, and while police haven't caught

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Speaker 1: them yet, the nearby tree lot provided Jesus with a

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Speaker 1: brand new replacement. Nice.

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Speaker 2: I mean you'd have to, yeah, just.

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Speaker 1: For good karma. As for what Jesus thinks, a local

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Speaker 1: TV reporter interviewed him about the situation and asked, if

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Speaker 1: they caught the crooks, would he forgive a surprisingly, He

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Speaker 1: said no, and if the thieves are caught, he'd like

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Speaker 1: to see him rotten in jail. What would Jesus do?

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Speaker 1: That's this next as her story is out of Spain.

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Speaker 1: The other day, a twenty one year old woman named

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Speaker 1: Sophia Alvarez was choking on a piece of turkey and

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Speaker 1: decided her best option to clear it out was to

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Speaker 1: shove a toothbrush down her throat. Oh are they.

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Speaker 2: Not teaching the himelike over there? You could do it yourself.

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Speaker 1: Maybe this is the better version of doing the Heimlich.

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Speaker 1: Don't waste time. Just cram a toothbrush down there.

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Speaker 2: Throw yourself over the back of a hard chair again.

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Speaker 2: You know that any time.

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Speaker 1: Brush my tongue I throw up, it might be good.

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Speaker 1: She ran to the bathroom and jammed the dull end

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Speaker 1: of it down into her so off against the door

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Speaker 1: to try and clear the obstruction. The good news is

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Speaker 1: it actually works.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't use that method. They're not teaching that method

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Speaker 2: in any.

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Speaker 1: She dislodged the turkey so she could breathe again. The

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Speaker 1: bad news is Sophia also swallowed the toothbrs hurt on

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Speaker 1: the way out. She was trying to hang onto the bristles,

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Speaker 1: but once the turkey went down, the brush just follows

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Speaker 1: a swallow.

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Speaker 2: I bet she's hoping it stays vertical and doesn't turn horizontal.

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Speaker 1: She explained the situation when she showed up at the er,

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Speaker 1: but they weren't sure they believed her till they saw

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Speaker 1: the X race.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: After that, they sedated her and it took about forty

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Speaker 1: minutes to fish it out. They pulled it up through

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Speaker 1: her mouth so she didn't need surgery. And wouldn't you

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Speaker 1: know it, the toothbrust was actually lying next to Sophia

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Speaker 1: on a table. When she woke up. She uses. She

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Speaker 1: took it home and began using it just like normal again.

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Speaker 1: I got anesthesia. Broth just goes to show you can

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Speaker 1: have your toothbrush and eat it too. It's never been

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Speaker 1: a thing, but now it is. This next laser story

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Speaker 1: is out of Ballingbrook, Illinois. Earlier, I get it. Earlier

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Speaker 1: this year, it was reported that McDonald's would be launching

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Speaker 1: a spin off chain restaurant named Cosmics.

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Speaker 2: Do you miss I don't remember this.

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Speaker 1: That's cosmic spelled cos mc oh, mick mick McDonald's. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So here's what the outside of it looks like. You

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Speaker 1: can see the photo up on our infras stories at

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey.

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Speaker 2: How is it not space themes happening?

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Speaker 1: Fancy?

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Speaker 2: It just looks like a McDonald's with a different.

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Speaker 1: Sign if you're wondering. The name is based upon the

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Speaker 1: beloved nineteen eighties McDonald's character that had that exact same name,

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Speaker 1: Cosmic that's it's a little alien guy. He was then

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Speaker 1: actual McDonald's character in the eighties.

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Speaker 2: I was a kid in the eighties. I don't remember this.

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Speaker 1: Okay, broke, don't call fake news on it. It really

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Speaker 1: has eighteen eighties.

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Speaker 2: Jo any birthday parties. I went to a McDonald's that

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Speaker 2: used to be a big remember that.

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Speaker 1: I always got.

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Speaker 2: Trapped in jail.

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Speaker 1: If you're wondering about Cosmics, how is that different than

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Speaker 1: the original Golden Arches. Well, there are some familiar offerings

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Speaker 1: like mcmuffins, mcflurries, et cetera. There also seems to be

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Speaker 1: an insane amount of new and improved concepts like slushies, juices,

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Speaker 1: stacked burgers, and more tasty.

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Speaker 2: So anything that's trendy, they're going to try it out

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Speaker 2: at Cosmics. Before they added to the McDonald's.

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Speaker 1: Their test kitchen. The main thing that caught people's attention

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Speaker 1: the all day breakfast menu because Mickey Dean's.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I thought they did it years ago.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Mickeys is infamous for their strict ten thirty am

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Speaker 1: cutoff for all breakfast items. Luckily, cosmics is giving people

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Speaker 1: what they want, which is a sausage egg McMuffin at

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Speaker 1: three pm.

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Speaker 2: It really is so good, isn't it funny? They're like,

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Speaker 2: let's open a restaurant where we give people what they want,

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Speaker 2: but not do it.

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Speaker 1: Let's try new concept. Yeah. Well, apparently there's a full

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Speaker 1: squadron of actors filming commercials in front of the building.

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Speaker 1: So no news yet on its official opening date, but

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Speaker 1: stay tuned as we anxiously await the newest move from McDonald's. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I thought we're gonna try this place out.

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Speaker 2: I thought that they were going to open and mcin

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Speaker 2: and out so.

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Speaker 1: Amazing this next laser stories out of word World, Story

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Speaker 1: Word World. It's time to announce the Word of the Year,

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Speaker 1: which is the most exciting day of the year for

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Speaker 1: people who work at dictionaries, so let's give them a

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Speaker 1: little credit. With that said, the Oxford University Press in

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Speaker 1: England has awarded its prestigious Word of the Year honor two.

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Speaker 2: Rizz with two z's slang but that's fine.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know. Riz is an Internet slang defined

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Speaker 1: as style, charm and the ability to attract a romantic

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Speaker 1: or sexual partners. It's the word charisma, yeah, or jeffing

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Speaker 1: it maybe another Really.

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Speaker 2: I want to look up that diary, but rarely.

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Speaker 1: It's getting popular. Riz did beat out three other finalists,

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Speaker 1: including swifty, which doesn't need to be defined or clear.

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Speaker 1: The others were prompt the instruction given to an AI

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Speaker 1: program like the prompt for it, and situationship, which is

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Speaker 1: a romantic or sexual relationship that's not considered to be

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Speaker 1: formal or established.

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Speaker 2: He's took it up. That's the old school pretty much.

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Speaker 1: The other sole writing vote that was initially considered but

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Speaker 1: then just guarded was e h h h oh, that's

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Speaker 1: where they got it from.

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Speaker 2: Did you see my brain making.

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Speaker 1: Really hard out he work. I always wondered how to

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Speaker 1: spell it though, e hhh there. Maybe next year it

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Speaker 1: will be the word of the year. But that now

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Speaker 1: means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Friday.