Speaker 1: Forever. Look mad oh, I see you? Why look over there?
Speaker 1: How is that culture? Yeah? Goodness, ding dong less? Culture
Speaker 1: is just calling? Can I say something? Yes, it is.
Speaker 1: I paid five dollars for an iced coffee in this
Speaker 1: goddamn city, the city of angels, more like the city
Speaker 1: of fuckery. What am I doing with my money? Honey? Honey?
Speaker 1: Five dollars for a nice coffee? Um. I looked at
Speaker 1: you and I said, what. First of all, the pace
Speaker 1: of life here is great. It's it's sort of he
Speaker 1: doesn't draw for some people. No, But I'm about to say, like,
Speaker 1: I cannot with these gorgeous these young girls, these gorgeous
Speaker 1: baristas who spend like twelve minutes on an espresso cocktail.
Speaker 1: It crazy, who whatever? But we will say this, if
Speaker 1: you work in service in l A, you are drop
Speaker 1: dead gorgeous? Is that? Because they're all trying to be models,
Speaker 1: actress you know, the glamorous roles in entertainment. The producers.
Speaker 1: The producers are the hottest people in Hollywood. This is
Speaker 1: something that you don't know about about l A. You
Speaker 1: get here and it's the producers who have the star quality.
Speaker 1: And how can you tell that their producers? Because they're hot.
Speaker 1: This is fake. But the other day I saw Kelly
Speaker 1: Quocum on the street. Now this is fake, but this
Speaker 1: is fake. But next to her was her producer and
Speaker 1: oh my god, she made Kaylee Kuoko look like a dog.
Speaker 1: And this is fake and this is fake. Um okay, listen,
Speaker 1: but you know what's real. You make me feel my
Speaker 1: hoty real because I feel validated. Yes. And speaking of money, well,
Speaker 1: first of all, what a great segway, m h. I
Speaker 1: commend you on your segway. I get myself a seven seven,
Speaker 1: but if you're over A qualifies is great. Yes. Um,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Speaking of Mighty, we love him. He's
Speaker 1: the host of the High Mighty podcast. Ah he is.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I didn't even realize I did that.
Speaker 1: You didn't, but there you go. He didn't even realize
Speaker 1: your own segway. If you can't realize your own segway,
Speaker 1: how now, how are you going to realize? I got
Speaker 1: an amen? Amen. And he's a co host of Race
Speaker 1: by TV gorgeous podcast with ms lap and oh and
Speaker 1: and this guest. And we had a little key Key
Speaker 1: had a dressing rooms at Cluster Fast. Truly, what a
Speaker 1: beautiful moment. We were a dressing room neighbors. Yes, and
Speaker 1: I always feel a connection to our guests because of
Speaker 1: our long island roots and culture, your culture, and so
Speaker 1: please welcome Amy. So let's talk politics at Uncle Chuck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Uncle tell us, come on, let's get real. Our guest
Speaker 1: today is John Gabriel. Oh, guys, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Listen having me on despite my inability to get laptus
Speaker 1: in the room. Let's stop. It was not about that,
Speaker 1: but but but Laura Labkis was a busy girl this week.
Speaker 1: You're telling me, you're telling me it's a nice reminder
Speaker 1: what the career is supposed to be like. But can
Speaker 1: I put you on blast? Please? So we were in
Speaker 1: the dressing rooms having a key key and then I
Speaker 1: know exactly what that is. It's a hangout. I was
Speaker 1: gonna ask what John, I was gonna q is it
Speaker 1: spelled q I q I? So I wish it was.
Speaker 1: That's like more LGBT. It's more wo. I forgot the queue.
Speaker 1: Damn it's key I can't. Yeah, it's it's less interesting. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess you should give the definessition. A kiki is
Speaker 1: a party Wait what really? Kiki is a party for
Speaker 1: calling all your we're spilling tea and giving just deserts.
Speaker 1: It's when people hang out together and they talk like
Speaker 1: old friends call it chopping it up. Are you serious?
Speaker 1: Some people call that chopping it up, choping like to
Speaker 1: get on last culture East isn't chopping my buds. But
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it as I'm at the
Speaker 1: water fountain in high school and and John Demos is
Speaker 1: walking over to me calling me a fagot like this
Speaker 1: is where it's. That is the masculinity, that is like
Speaker 1: a pall, and I feel comfortable. This is, by the way,
Speaker 1: my move though is to do podcasts like this so
Speaker 1: I can feel masculine. I got called a fag at
Speaker 1: the water fountain too. Yeah, I was straight and just
Speaker 1: at older. Let me just explain why how I'll put
Speaker 1: John Gabrison blast right now because lap Gust was at
Speaker 1: a rehearsal working hard, and you got a text from
Speaker 1: lap Gas. I said where are you? And he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm having a Kiki with the girl. I'm chopping it up.
Speaker 1: I'm stopping it up with the boys. I'm having some
Speaker 1: greyhounds with last we were drinking greyhounds. We earned it.
Speaker 1: I had a little screwdriver. I don't know about you, guys.
Speaker 1: I think I think I technically had a screwdriver with
Speaker 1: some soda water. I think Greyhound is grapefruit juice, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: technically yeah. Yeah. As you can tell by my low
Speaker 1: level of attractiveness, I've never been a bartender our barista here.
Speaker 1: Don't don't you do that? Don't you do that? Are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? You're prized you'd be. I can show
Speaker 1: you my d M S right now and tell you
Speaker 1: that I have a fandom of the club in there.
Speaker 1: Really you know the deal? Okay, So how does that
Speaker 1: make you feel? I mean, are you is there a
Speaker 1: discomfort with with the way that the years absolutely flattered? Good?
Speaker 1: Be honest, I'm serious. Okay, great? Being good then? Because
Speaker 1: I don't care. I mean, unattractive women tell me that
Speaker 1: they think I'm sexy too, and it's not the same
Speaker 1: thing I'm type you are. Who's Michael Hartney? Oh that
Speaker 1: makes sense. I find that it's really money in the
Speaker 1: bear world that bears are attracted to other bears, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's sort of weird, narcissistic thing
Speaker 1: in the backdrop of it all. They're so narcissistic. It's
Speaker 1: actually a real little culture. Number bears are not narcissistic cubs.
Speaker 1: Um No, but like there is I think, look, I
Speaker 1: think this view being here is really good. Widen the
Speaker 1: scope of other cubs seeking out another comedic cub. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's cub cub comic, cub comic. That's a riff on
Speaker 1: on club comic aunt. And you know it's a good
Speaker 1: one when you have to tell you tell the audience
Speaker 1: where you started. And actually kind of funny because now
Speaker 1: let me tell you why this is funny. You know
Speaker 1: who apparently did that? Oh, Marcia Belski was telling us that, um,
Speaker 1: like recently, like Ricky Gervais was like having a talk
Speaker 1: and he was like explaining why whose problematic jokes were
Speaker 1: finding it almost like you fucking suck. That's so. But yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a Long Island connection. And you have a
Speaker 1: tattoo of Long Island. Yeah it's my only I look
Speaker 1: hot sunburned by the way, Yes, that's good. Honestly, Like
Speaker 1: my my big struggle is that I'll go out like
Speaker 1: and I'll wear you know, two shirts, tank tops whatever,
Speaker 1: and I'll get the really bad tan line that's like
Speaker 1: not attractive. Yes, you know that's why you gotta go
Speaker 1: shirt off as soon as you can, as as soon
Speaker 1: as possible. If I had Rogers, if I had your body,
Speaker 1: I'd be shirtless so often do you mean I'm already
Speaker 1: and look at my body, I'm like a fucking white
Speaker 1: Rick Ross or like he's fitter than I am. The
Speaker 1: thing is about the gay community is you're never happy,
Speaker 1: You're never satisfied because the people that you're attracted to
Speaker 1: or else you can compare yourselves to that That is hard, right,
Speaker 1: and also like is this an over generalization and you
Speaker 1: can you can spill tea on me whatever we will
Speaker 1: tell you, we will spill tea on you. Because because
Speaker 1: men are maybe a little shallower or a little more
Speaker 1: visually stimulated too, So like men being attracted to men,
Speaker 1: you're it's you know, like that first impression that looks
Speaker 1: things is even more important. Well that's what I no, No,
Speaker 1: you're right like that that's pretty on point. Like like
Speaker 1: gay culture, well, like the sexual aspect of being gay
Speaker 1: is like the patriarchy turning in on itself. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: we were we want to fuck And that's sort of
Speaker 1: like for some people like currency because it's urge driven
Speaker 1: because men are just like I think with my dick,
Speaker 1: like I think that that causes them to make like
Speaker 1: decisions and like it allows them to get on grinder
Speaker 1: and be like no fats, no fems, no Asians. I
Speaker 1: have a dick that telling me what to do and
Speaker 1: guess what, I'm upfront about it, and that a lot
Speaker 1: of dudes would be turned off by someone who said
Speaker 1: that because it's like I'm a guy because yeah, right,
Speaker 1: because they're like I feel the same way, and it's
Speaker 1: it's sort of like a racism just like wild, like
Speaker 1: like I don't know, it's it's crazy. The apps are crazy.
Speaker 1: I am a big proponent that everyone should delete the apps.
Speaker 1: The apps are apps are a weird situation because as
Speaker 1: someone who's like I found my part, Like I started
Speaker 1: dating my wife when I was twenty, so I'm still
Speaker 1: with her fifteen years later, and uh, don't remind me.
Speaker 1: It's just a bigger, bigger chunk of my life every year,
Speaker 1: you know, like the fraction goes up, and uh, but
Speaker 1: like if we were to try to meet on apps,
Speaker 1: she has a couple of traits about her that I
Speaker 1: would have written off not knowing her, you know, or
Speaker 1: you would be like, for example, women on apps they
Speaker 1: want to date a guy who's six ft tall or
Speaker 1: over five ft ten or whatever, um, and everyone like
Speaker 1: you might be missing out on someone who's five eight
Speaker 1: and a half who's perfect, Like I'm not. I never
Speaker 1: wanted a like growing up and still to this date, Like,
Speaker 1: makeup is not a big thing to me, but it
Speaker 1: is a huge thing to my wife. And I was like,
Speaker 1: if I were just swiping on an app, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: she seems difficult, and she is difficult, but in like
Speaker 1: the best way. But but I would not know that
Speaker 1: if I didn't give my chance a chance to get
Speaker 1: to know her. So I feel like, if you're swiping
Speaker 1: and you're just like I don't really like like light
Speaker 1: skinned guys or whatever, You're like, you don't know what
Speaker 1: if that guy? What if? I think you should be
Speaker 1: okay with five things being wrong with your partner, because
Speaker 1: we all have things wrong with us, so I might
Speaker 1: as well be like, hey, look, Bowen is my type,
Speaker 1: but it's weird that he does He does this for
Speaker 1: a living, and it's like, you know what, that's one
Speaker 1: of the five things I gotta be okay with I
Speaker 1: don't want a performer for a husband. Well, it's like,
Speaker 1: wait and find out. You know. Maybe my favorite thing
Speaker 1: is when there's like a profile that comes up and
Speaker 1: it's like if you have a head shot, forget it
Speaker 1: and okay, so unpacked that oh you're talking about this
Speaker 1: is for other people like apps. I'll go through and
Speaker 1: it's like and it will say like I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 1: this person looks interesting, and it says they'll be like,
Speaker 1: if you have a head shot, keep been moving, Like
Speaker 1: I don't want to date an actor. I don't want
Speaker 1: to date a comedian. I don't want to do someone
Speaker 1: in show biz, but like, I guess what, honey, A
Speaker 1: lot of businessmen, real estate people, they of head shots. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I get why someone might not
Speaker 1: want to date an actor or a comedian. I totally
Speaker 1: understand that. But that again, isn't that an over generalization? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's like, of course I know what the negative
Speaker 1: aspects of dating an actor. I have been demonstrating them
Speaker 1: for a decade, But why not just be like, well,
Speaker 1: what if this actor is cool or perfect for me
Speaker 1: and every other way except that because I feel like
Speaker 1: the same thing goes the other way, where creative sides
Speaker 1: are like I want a partner who's like a creative
Speaker 1: I want someone who works in the creative field. And
Speaker 1: then it's like you can meet someone who uh scratches
Speaker 1: all those creative itches, but they could be a real
Speaker 1: estate Everyone contains multitude. The good thing is I think
Speaker 1: we're everyone multitudes. The good thing is that, um we are.
Speaker 1: I think we're like a post app were hurled where
Speaker 1: it's like when Angelum is swinging back the other way,
Speaker 1: well where where it's like it's just apps for like
Speaker 1: a thing of the past, where it's like, now people
Speaker 1: are hooking up through d ms alone. D ms are
Speaker 1: a thing. Now, sliding into the d ms makes sense
Speaker 1: because then it's sort of more open. And yeah, also
Speaker 1: now I think we're at the point. I agree with
Speaker 1: you because I think we're now we're at the point
Speaker 1: where a lot of people are having these conversations about
Speaker 1: the apps, and yeah, like it's now the narrative is
Speaker 1: like apps aren't cool, and that's the number one thing
Speaker 1: is people just want to be cool and like apps
Speaker 1: are for fucking right. It feels not even anymore. Well,
Speaker 1: this is a thing apps for for like I missed
Speaker 1: apps complete right and like and and their their son setting.
Speaker 1: It's fine, but like apps now are for like and
Speaker 1: I love this. This is great for people who make
Speaker 1: this work, but apps for for for like agend daddy,
Speaker 1: which means like he wants to like spoil you and
Speaker 1: pay you. It's like for very specific niche things, someone
Speaker 1: can approach you without any sort of um, we don't
Speaker 1: have to hide who they are. Ye in where it's
Speaker 1: like I'm looking for blank. You want to the other
Speaker 1: end of that puzzle? Exactly? Can you piss on me
Speaker 1: and do this and all that stuff? How much have
Speaker 1: you been walking today? Great? What are your how big
Speaker 1: are your feet? It's which is you know cool or
Speaker 1: some people? But now we're now we're in this post
Speaker 1: up Apple world space where everyone's like, um oh, I
Speaker 1: will slide into your d M because I like your
Speaker 1: Instagram and let's talk which I which I can support.
Speaker 1: But here's support that because that's that's dialogue, right, That's
Speaker 1: that if Instagram is the new bar that everyone happens
Speaker 1: to be hanging out, right, yeah, there literally everyone everyone
Speaker 1: is at the bar. Everyone's can go back through and
Speaker 1: you can see if they have like a highly curated
Speaker 1: Instagram or they like, look they seem to hang out
Speaker 1: with friends. They take pictures of other things besides themselves,
Speaker 1: you know, and the verified people are like out on
Speaker 1: the back patio yea, and there's like a really like
Speaker 1: a nasty bouncer that's like no bit. Yeah. The back
Speaker 1: patio was formerly called RYA. How did you meet your wife? Um?
Speaker 1: Communications principles A communications one on one and what a
Speaker 1: fitting place to meet a partner? Communications principle And we
Speaker 1: use with my way into her group because she was
Speaker 1: hot and she had like some hot friends in the
Speaker 1: group with her, and I was nineteen, any of you,
Speaker 1: I'm like to dude, exactly, I'm like the dude in
Speaker 1: pajama pants who shows up the class. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I think I'm Van Wilder, but really I'm going to
Speaker 1: have liver issues in the you know. And I just
Speaker 1: saw her and she had like this will date it too,
Speaker 1: since it'll put it at like two thousand and two.
Speaker 1: She had like a studded belt and black chucks and
Speaker 1: like a full tron T shirt or whatever. And I
Speaker 1: was like, yes, you might be the one not to
Speaker 1: mention a great assent tits and the ass. The belt
Speaker 1: is the belt had to go. The belt you can
Speaker 1: use as a problem. Yeah, oh the belt is still
Speaker 1: in play apart. Man, we don't wear it right. So
Speaker 1: you guys were in New York for how long we we? Uh?
Speaker 1: After college? We moved in together, like a year after
Speaker 1: college we moved to me. I lived with some guy
Speaker 1: friends for a little bit, just because I knew we
Speaker 1: were going to move in together eventually and that'll be it.
Speaker 1: So I was like, let me do one time living
Speaker 1: with dudes, and I like lived not at all, not
Speaker 1: at all. In my head, I had the I was
Speaker 1: ready to move out because my my family I have.
Speaker 1: I have a harder time getting along with my family
Speaker 1: than my wife did with her family. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to move out sooner. She wasn't financially ready,
Speaker 1: but she expected me to wait for her, and I
Speaker 1: kind of was like, let me do one year with
Speaker 1: some friends. And it was the hardest part of our relationship.
Speaker 1: She's living at her mom's house in Westchester. I'm living
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn and Aloft with some friends. It's all new
Speaker 1: to me, you know. I went from a college dorm
Speaker 1: to my mom's house to that and and then I
Speaker 1: was like, moved in with my wife, and I was like,
Speaker 1: and another dude, some Brooklyn ass ship right there? You know,
Speaker 1: three people living in a two yeah, a thruple um
Speaker 1: and thruppy one toilet. Three humans brutal that when everyone
Speaker 1: ships in the same spot. I would like from my
Speaker 1: life to ship into my own place. Yeah, it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be a toilet, it's your where, your ship.
Speaker 1: I now have one and a half paths in my
Speaker 1: house and in my apartment, and it's a goddamn dream.
Speaker 1: We can we can stay together forever now, especially because
Speaker 1: she's a makeup focused person, She's a get ready. Her
Speaker 1: getting ready process is a long time, and it's that
Speaker 1: something I had to resolved to deal with over the years.
Speaker 1: I've learned to cope because I'm a anxious when running late.
Speaker 1: You can tell if you listen to the voicemail I
Speaker 1: left your producing I heard. Because when I'm running late,
Speaker 1: I get so panicky. And I don't even care if
Speaker 1: someone runs late on me. You can beat twenty minutes
Speaker 1: late to meet me, but if I'm five minutes late
Speaker 1: to meet you, I'm in the car going out. Fuck,
Speaker 1: you know, and I don't know what it is. I
Speaker 1: think it's because my dad was German or something. And
Speaker 1: I'm like so stressed, and I'm like, I'm like, Brett,
Speaker 1: you know the fucking parking lot is clothes man. And
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm like, oh, I found another one. He
Speaker 1: was like one minute later, I was like, wait, here's
Speaker 1: another one. The whole he was like, I was panicked.
Speaker 1: I just don't want anyone to think I'm rude. I mean,
Speaker 1: unless I am choosing that, I'm the same way as you,
Speaker 1: In the same way as you don't care if someone
Speaker 1: else is late, I will. I will be as chill
Speaker 1: as hell about that. And the thing is being with
Speaker 1: him in l A is funny because I've kind of
Speaker 1: made the decision like it's okay if we're late, because
Speaker 1: that's l A. Yeah, and eleven, like you know, ten
Speaker 1: after is like on time and bowen when when we
Speaker 1: call our lifts, but when we'll be running into the street,
Speaker 1: like he's run into traffic several times, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, it doesn't work like that. Here, they're going
Speaker 1: to pull over, don't slow down. I had like pull
Speaker 1: him back and I said, we said yesterday. He was like,
Speaker 1: what if you watched me get hit by a car.
Speaker 1: I said, I would look down at your ass and said,
Speaker 1: I told you, bitch, I don't I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I like it's like that pace of
Speaker 1: life thing I was talking. Yeah, No, it's different, it's different.
Speaker 1: I know you guys are still young though, right, we're
Speaker 1: still Yeah. So because I always I now with hindsight,
Speaker 1: being thirty six, have a little bit of New York
Speaker 1: in your twenties, l do you feel that's the way
Speaker 1: it works? Because I was ready for the pay shift.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize it at the time because I was
Speaker 1: so New York centric, and then moving here, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I kind of like that. Everyone is stoned, and Joe,
Speaker 1: you know it is. I think overall it's a dumber city,
Speaker 1: or at least uh less of a priority put on
Speaker 1: intelligence or demonstrating intelligence in any capacity. Like like you
Speaker 1: get in the f train in New York and everyone's
Speaker 1: got books and and and then you get in a
Speaker 1: car and LA and everyone's screaming and blasting music and
Speaker 1: driving like fucking lunatics. Know they drive crazy here, But
Speaker 1: here's the thing. There is a theater of like New
Speaker 1: York per performing New York. When you're in New York's
Speaker 1: like you're on the F train. Everyone has a book.
Speaker 1: I guess this is what New York is. And then
Speaker 1: when you come here it's like, oh no, everyone's just
Speaker 1: on their own, on their own sort of wavelength whatever,
Speaker 1: like udence, and it's great and like you don't feel
Speaker 1: guilty wasting a day, not wasting, but like spending a
Speaker 1: day to smoking and like, yeah, playing video games. L
Speaker 1: A has like that weird thing where you don't have
Speaker 1: to actually like new One time when someone said to
Speaker 1: me is like, I'm like, yo, people at l A
Speaker 1: dress crazy, and they're like, that's because there's not gonna
Speaker 1: be a fifteen year old Blackett on the subway going
Speaker 1: what the funk are you wearing? You're not gonna get
Speaker 1: You're not gonna get roasted by high school. You're in
Speaker 1: your car, you get out of your car, you go
Speaker 1: immediately to the vegan restaurant, and you get back into
Speaker 1: your car. In New York, it's like you can't dress
Speaker 1: like a true free because you've gotta like kind of
Speaker 1: walk nine blocks and whatever. But here in l A
Speaker 1: you can have like eight inch platform Chuck Taylors and
Speaker 1: it's like that's reasonable. Yeah, you've been into your platforms lately. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they're they're cheap. And I brought so many looks
Speaker 1: to l A like I thought, like, I'll bring I'll
Speaker 1: have something good to where every single day nobody fucking cares.
Speaker 1: You can things about l A. You guys need to
Speaker 1: learn you can literally wear whatever you want wherever you want.
Speaker 1: It's literally like what kind of place is this, And
Speaker 1: it's like some somebody's gonna be there in a tank top,
Speaker 1: a woman's you're gonna have visible nipples, and someone else
Speaker 1: is gonna be in the tucks. They all get served
Speaker 1: the same food or And the other thing is you
Speaker 1: can create the climate you dress. You dress for whatever
Speaker 1: weather you want. Like if you're like a cart again,
Speaker 1: it's like it might just be cool enough for a
Speaker 1: card again, or you might be a little warm, or
Speaker 1: you could be like I'm gonna wear shorts and a
Speaker 1: tank top today and it might be a little but
Speaker 1: you can just like call it because it's a dry heat.
Speaker 1: It's a sure Speaking of speaking of wardrobe choices, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at two products of Long Island Glorious Long Island
Speaker 1: Masculinity Wearing tank tops, boots, hats down, and then like
Speaker 1: maybe Chuck taylors On on John and then some like
Speaker 1: incomparable denim sneaker on Yeah, a little denim van talk
Speaker 1: about let's bring it up Long Island. I have a
Speaker 1: theory about this the gay community. If you go to
Speaker 1: like a gay club, it's so funny to watch how
Speaker 1: everyone is dressed, because we're all addressing up like our
Speaker 1: high school bullies, Like we have like the backward like
Speaker 1: literally like not that you were a bully. I don't
Speaker 1: know you in high school made were a bully. I
Speaker 1: could be both. Yeah, I was a bully, but not
Speaker 1: to gay people everyone. Yeah, but also I was a
Speaker 1: member of the Gay Straight Alliance nine. That's pretty crazy
Speaker 1: to be the one straight kid in there. And also
Speaker 1: you're the kind of person where it's like, I bet
Speaker 1: like everyone was like that is like a really good
Speaker 1: guy because like because it's so true, like when straight
Speaker 1: men are like they get it, like we were graded
Speaker 1: on such a curve. Yeah, you're like if you're a
Speaker 1: white straight male, who's like, yeah, well you know actually
Speaker 1: Stonewall was, They're like everyone's like, holy ship. He should
Speaker 1: give the speech to the event. It's like he has
Speaker 1: a black friend, he said. Honestly, he gets the leader,
Speaker 1: he gets his own float in a parade. Yeah, it's such.
Speaker 1: That's how low the bar is for ally ship amongst
Speaker 1: fucking you know white We love it. It's true though.
Speaker 1: I mean, like my best friend in high school, Kenny,
Speaker 1: I was so nervous about telling him that I was
Speaker 1: gay that I didn't make it through it. I started
Speaker 1: to cry and he was and he just like and
Speaker 1: he gave me a hug. I was like, it's okay,
Speaker 1: I know, and it was just like I'll never forget
Speaker 1: like that experience. But it meant so much to me,
Speaker 1: I think because like, well he was he was who
Speaker 1: he was to me. But also like being like a
Speaker 1: straight guy, it's like I know that you guys don't
Speaker 1: have to accept us and like love us, and you
Speaker 1: could just keep on living your life, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. That's I think that doesn't affect you. It
Speaker 1: doesn't affect him, or at least that's the mentality at
Speaker 1: the time. It's like the thing is like I'm taking
Speaker 1: a huge risk here by like literally being myself and
Speaker 1: it doesn't affect you know, straight dudes. So that's like a.
Speaker 1: I think that's that's something that's like in US, which
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I don't know how the
Speaker 1: kids feel nowadays. I don't dress like my bellies. I
Speaker 1: dressed like my fucking self anyway. Well, you're the hardest
Speaker 1: bully you've ever dealt with. Wow, he you just you
Speaker 1: yourself talk about dressing like your bullies. The other day,
Speaker 1: I Sunday, I was outside my apartment I live in
Speaker 1: West Hollywood, smoking a joint, and I was in my
Speaker 1: traditional housewear, which is a tank top, short flower print shorts, uh,
Speaker 1: sockless shoes of some sort, and backwards hat, and like
Speaker 1: seven dudes start walking down my block, all dressed exactly
Speaker 1: like me. And I'm like, and literally, it looks like
Speaker 1: we are a group of cartoon dogs, are you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like where a cartoon cast about like
Speaker 1: surfers who you know, got gained weight or whatever. And
Speaker 1: I was just like all these like big dudes, stocky
Speaker 1: muscular guys and walking by and the smoking to joint
Speaker 1: and them waving to them, and I'm like kind of like, hey,
Speaker 1: look at our outfits. And I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: am I I'm flirting with this is And it was
Speaker 1: it all coming back. It was like the Pride parade.
Speaker 1: They were walking back to their car and I'm like,
Speaker 1: who are these bros? What's up? Guys were oh, never mind,
Speaker 1: put it all together, and they were like, but that's
Speaker 1: how it should be. Yeah, it was so awesome. I
Speaker 1: was like, well, fun, I've talked about this and let's fun.
Speaker 1: I talked about this on another podcast once. But I
Speaker 1: just want to say the bear community has done so
Speaker 1: much for my fashion, you know, because now there's cool
Speaker 1: clothes that comes. You can get short shorts in a
Speaker 1: forty two ways now, and I think it's because big
Speaker 1: dudes are started dressing like that. And it's for a
Speaker 1: straight guy who's always dressed like a gay dude. I
Speaker 1: just never had gay dude bodies. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is so fucking awesome. Yeah, that body positivity in the community. Sure, although,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I have to read this. Hold on,
Speaker 1: I have to pull up this, this into headline and
Speaker 1: this is me being shady, but whatever. And while he's
Speaker 1: doing that, I want to ask, when did you get
Speaker 1: the tattoo? I got this tattoo at thirty last Christmas. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it's recent. It's a reason it's my first tattoo,
Speaker 1: me and both my brothers. We all got them together,
Speaker 1: and it's a large one. It's a big one besides
Speaker 1: my whole ba. The world is changing. That might be
Speaker 1: very real, God forbid. But that's why I've always loved
Speaker 1: This is so stupid, but I always loved living on
Speaker 1: the island because I was like, I mean, no natural
Speaker 1: disaster can really get us, except that a huge tsunami, Like,
Speaker 1: well could a tsunami happen there? I don't know how
Speaker 1: it works. The way I read it was like there
Speaker 1: was no fault lines like in the but so we
Speaker 1: were kind of safe from sandy, right that until Sandy
Speaker 1: happened and I was like, oh no, we can get
Speaker 1: fucked up. I moved to l A the week of Sandy.
Speaker 1: It was a very weird experience because I lived in
Speaker 1: like Red Hook, Brooklyn. There's waste deep water in the streets.
Speaker 1: One day and five days later, I'm flying. I'm paying
Speaker 1: a hundred and fifty dollars to a car service because
Speaker 1: gas is still not able to get anywhere, paying a
Speaker 1: hundred fifty dollars to take me to JFK from Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: and I'm driving out of the city. Leaving the city,
Speaker 1: I have like pots and pans in my suitcase with
Speaker 1: my wife a dog in our lap, and the city
Speaker 1: is black. There's no lights on. It's like a five
Speaker 1: And I'm like, this is an insane way to say
Speaker 1: it was wild. Well that's how you know you gotta go.
Speaker 1: He lives in red Hook, Yeah, like Carol Garden's Red
Speaker 1: Hook Border. Like I worked at Brooklyn Crab, did you Yeah?
Speaker 1: I worked there for four years. Holy hold on, we have,
Speaker 1: I guarantee we have. Do you know do you know
Speaker 1: the Rob them Rob, Rob Robb who built the place
Speaker 1: built the place. Yeah, he's an old Do you know
Speaker 1: Justin Tyler from New York? Because you guys did, I
Speaker 1: was welcome. Oh awesome, we all met. I met y'all
Speaker 1: know at UM that weird Comedy Central pilot. I yes,
Speaker 1: over and I was so pumped to have met you
Speaker 1: and that I didn't even know you guys were UCB
Speaker 1: guys at the time. Too. Came up and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh ship, we have so many friends. But Justin Tyler
Speaker 1: and I were are old friends Rob because we all
Speaker 1: lived in that neighborhood and the Carol I didn't have
Speaker 1: a bunch probably before honestly, Job built the building. Well
Speaker 1: he was like a co owner, co manager, but he's
Speaker 1: got some title there, this guy, and he was like
Speaker 1: always like I never really knew how to interact with him.
Speaker 1: But then later on like we kind of you know,
Speaker 1: just assume he faced way to deal with. But like always,
Speaker 1: like whenever there was like a straw true problem with
Speaker 1: the building, everyone was like, well Rob built it. He's good.
Speaker 1: He has He owns his own restaurant now, and like,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, like what's the neighborhood four Green his own restaurant. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Lot's changed there over the past two years.
Speaker 1: And they went through like a couple of general managers.
Speaker 1: But I think it's like on its way. Sarah Grace
Speaker 1: Wellborn works there another up. I got her the job
Speaker 1: and then they kept her for the winter and not me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I'm never coming back. What
Speaker 1: kind of business does it do in the winter, shitty? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can imagine, Like, but the summer is popping off
Speaker 1: all day, dumping off the amount of money Corn Hall literally,
Speaker 1: and it's good for everybody, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it's good for families, it's good for like you
Speaker 1: can get ship faced there. You can also take your
Speaker 1: kid thereoutely, and there's like so many different levels. Well
Speaker 1: this is a big um, I guess ad for Brooklyn
Speaker 1: crab check out. So here's the fucking deal when I
Speaker 1: get back in there, and I don't know if anyone
Speaker 1: from the from the place listens, like the managerial staff,
Speaker 1: but I still want my employee discount as a result.
Speaker 1: There you're an ambassador. Yeah, why don't you pull up? Okay,
Speaker 1: So we were talking about bout it body positivity. I
Speaker 1: just whatever, maybe this I'll get some ship for this.
Speaker 1: But um, this this Okay? So there's this twurtter can
Speaker 1: I follow um and she and they tweeted um no
Speaker 1: tea or shadow? But what do any of these words mean?
Speaker 1: And it's this into headline that says thickness is getting
Speaker 1: co opted by the mask muscular gaze, gay body fascism
Speaker 1: and the gentrification of body positivity. And it's like and
Speaker 1: this is this is like another care account being like
Speaker 1: what the funk are you talking? Like like you get
Speaker 1: like John, like you gotta know that, like there is
Speaker 1: this like there there is some degree of infighting in
Speaker 1: the gay community where it's like you gotta like get
Speaker 1: off this look. Just because it can be a headline
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it should be well and the guy and
Speaker 1: the guy who wrote this article also is a great comedian,
Speaker 1: but he um confused me and Joel Kim Booster. He
Speaker 1: introduced joelkin Booster wants at a show by saying, this
Speaker 1: guy's great. He's on the sketch group called pop Roulette.
Speaker 1: Please welcome to the stage of Dool Kim Booster. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well that's that's that's where we're at
Speaker 1: now anyway, But like that happens all the time, happen
Speaker 1: I'm assuming, Yeah, I get confused for John Gemberling all
Speaker 1: the time. Oh yeah, yeah you and definitely I'm sure
Speaker 1: are always confused. And I'm not saying like that's allowed.
Speaker 1: And three times, like several time, that's racist, that's racist,
Speaker 1: and several times it's we've been most recently this last
Speaker 1: pilot season it was down to the two of us pilot. Literally, yeah,
Speaker 1: he booked. You know what that means. It'll open up
Speaker 1: the doors for something. I know that's all the joke is,
Speaker 1: because it's happened now like two or three times. The
Speaker 1: joke is I'm like, I need you to get a
Speaker 1: show that goes two seasons, so the next pilot season,
Speaker 1: you're not available. I felt like that about He definitely
Speaker 1: doesn't feel this way about me. But I'm so happy,
Speaker 1: like he's gonna work now because like it cancels him
Speaker 1: in the equation or you kidding me, Like people the
Speaker 1: Gaze in New York are just picking up the crumbs
Speaker 1: that are left that were left behind when John like
Speaker 1: moved to La John Early. Yeah, they'll tell me sometimes
Speaker 1: they'll be like, yeah, oh my god, I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to have you. John couldn't do it. Take it books
Speaker 1: something where I looked the the script is like, where's
Speaker 1: my part? And then it was literally the name was
Speaker 1: John and I was like, oh, really couldn't do it?
Speaker 1: And then Cole Scholler couldn't do it, and then joe
Speaker 1: Kie Booster couldn't do it, and then but when Ye
Speaker 1: couldn't do it, and then Josh Sharp couldn't do it,
Speaker 1: and then Aaron Jackson couldn't do it. So we thought,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we love that Rogers. You're allowed to
Speaker 1: love ten comedians are I don't want to know on
Speaker 1: the tenth hap to you know what it was it
Speaker 1: was like, shot I shot this thing with Linda Donald
Speaker 1: for funny or diet. Was like she did a rap
Speaker 1: for the Hillary campaign. Finally why she lost? Um, but
Speaker 1: you're you're like, why can't generally be available? But they
Speaker 1: like um by the way that she was great? Though.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine saying that sentence to like a cousin
Speaker 1: from Tennessee. I was actually in a video with Lena
Speaker 1: Dunham where she would they would hate it. We actually
Speaker 1: can I just say, Tina, they did this? Um did this?
Speaker 1: Made this joke Once she was giving like some like
Speaker 1: speech out of breakfast, like a variety women and women
Speaker 1: in Hollywood breakfast, and she goes and this is right
Speaker 1: after election, and she goes, you know, it's really tough,
Speaker 1: like we're going through a tough time now, and like,
Speaker 1: you know, I just think like Hillary would have one
Speaker 1: if we had just had one more music video of
Speaker 1: a celebrity wrapping about Hillary. And it was like, like,
Speaker 1: why am I talking about someone? But literally it's like
Speaker 1: is that spilling tea by the way, Yeah, well here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Spilling the tea is just telling the truth.
Speaker 1: YEA spilling tea isn't like burning someone necessarily you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. That's reading them, Okay, burning someone is
Speaker 1: reading exactly like when you go out like you burnt
Speaker 1: by that person, like they've been read someone else read
Speaker 1: them to filth um. I love this, I think. I
Speaker 1: think I can't wait to bring this back to all
Speaker 1: my nearly forty year old straight friends and explain it.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you something I think I think Gabris is,
Speaker 1: I think we should start handing out an award another
Speaker 1: award here Lost Cultures? Does all I have the year?
Speaker 1: I'll I have the year and gave risk I think
Speaker 1: Gabris has ever said yeah, all over the year. I
Speaker 1: knew it would be here, of course. Yeah, I'm not surprised. Member,
Speaker 1: come on, that's crazy, I mean, especially because like even
Speaker 1: doing that, you had to have everyone saying you are
Speaker 1: a fagot. Yes, yeah, And that was part of the
Speaker 1: fun for me though, was sort of like trolling them. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was kind of like, well, if you're going to
Speaker 1: call these guys the F word, I'm going to stand
Speaker 1: there and take it alongside them. Because also I feel
Speaker 1: like too at the time, because it was the g
Speaker 1: s A was made up of maybe just also a
Speaker 1: more broader thing than gay, and it was more like
Speaker 1: these people feel not home. Yeah, they don't feel comfortable
Speaker 1: here at school because there was people who I'm like,
Speaker 1: in hindsight, I'm like, I don't think that woman was
Speaker 1: gay as much as she was, you know exactly. I'm sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: especially now with like all the all the letters, like
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure there was an umbrella we were
Speaker 1: all covered under. What high school is that? That was
Speaker 1: map Um High School met him War Americ Central High
Speaker 1: School District. Yes, I went to ice Lip, Oh you did.
Speaker 1: I grew up in a Freeport. My parents both went
Speaker 1: to Freeport High School. Well, my mom went to free
Speaker 1: Port High School. My dad would have gone if he had.
Speaker 1: That's kind of w T I'm from. This is my
Speaker 1: favorite thing about being from Long Island. It's like you're like,
Speaker 1: where are you from? And someone says a town, and
Speaker 1: then I say a town and then we go, oh,
Speaker 1: yeah we know that town. We call it Jewish geography. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you know Brad Brad Brad? Of course that's my mom. Uh.
Speaker 1: I was in Vegas. Took my mom, me and my wife,
Speaker 1: my mom and her friend. We went to the like
Speaker 1: the restaurant in the Eiffel Tower. Because we're staying at
Speaker 1: the Paris, we went to the restaurant, the Smilier. There
Speaker 1: it happens to listen to comedy bank bang in High
Speaker 1: and Mighty and knows me, and he's so excited and
Speaker 1: he's like, I just want to introduce myself, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, that's so nice. He leaves.
Speaker 1: My mom doesn't react at all. A stranger came up
Speaker 1: to me in a suit and said he was and
Speaker 1: he shook my hand and Paris and then uh, he leaves.
Speaker 1: And then the woman comes over and she goes, he
Speaker 1: was so nervous to talk to you. Was so he
Speaker 1: was being so cute backstage, Like back in the backstage
Speaker 1: in the kitchen I still called. When I played sports,
Speaker 1: I called rugby practice rehearsal and they were like, all right,
Speaker 1: boy in trouble um. And she's like, and he's from
Speaker 1: Long Island too, And my mom goes, he's from Long Island.
Speaker 1: Kept him out here and then he goes out and
Speaker 1: then my mom goes, where are you from? And he
Speaker 1: says some town and she's like it's so and so.
Speaker 1: Still the music teacher there he was, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. And my mom was like, that's
Speaker 1: weird because I think he's I think he's still there.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, she didn't react at all to her
Speaker 1: son getting recognized, and uh, and but she's going apeshit
Speaker 1: over the fact that she's playing Jewish geography with a ram.
Speaker 1: Long Island people are very proud to be from Long Island,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like if they're still there.
Speaker 1: A lot of people who leave. I it took me
Speaker 1: a while to gain the pride of I found. I
Speaker 1: want to do good pr from Long Island because there's
Speaker 1: a it is Tim Tim Dillon one time Long Island,
Speaker 1: another Long Island comedian. Uh he one time said, uh,
Speaker 1: thirty minutes subway thirty years behind, thirty minute train ride
Speaker 1: thirty years behind. Because it's so close to Manhattan, you
Speaker 1: would think it would be more progressive. It's really, but
Speaker 1: it is people who choose not to go to Manhattan
Speaker 1: despite living thirty minutes away from it. And that blows
Speaker 1: my Like my family will be like, it's too much traffic.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's fucking Long Island has traffic. This is
Speaker 1: New York City. There's the fucking Natural History Museum is
Speaker 1: here at the moment, Like, that's in New York City.
Speaker 1: You can go to that. You got to name any
Speaker 1: food or bar you want to try, it's there. And
Speaker 1: they're still like, no, I like to see food place
Speaker 1: in my hometown. You know, all right, well then what
Speaker 1: can you do? I don't know. I definitely like I
Speaker 1: didn't realize this growing up, and then afterwards, like I
Speaker 1: kind of was like, oh, wow, that was actually really
Speaker 1: hard to grow up there, Like you're not hard to
Speaker 1: hard to go up there and be different, right, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? It's because it's it's blue collar
Speaker 1: in like in like a prideful way. Yeah. You know,
Speaker 1: even though even though maybe maybe the person is a
Speaker 1: dentist or a hedge fund operator manager or whatever and
Speaker 1: now they make they have a million dollar home or whatever,
Speaker 1: but their parents were probably Electricians or Irish or Italian
Speaker 1: immigrants of some sort, or Jewish or whatever, and so
Speaker 1: they are have that weird blue collar attitude. And I
Speaker 1: think that you can have a negative side to it too,
Speaker 1: just sort of like I don't fucking want this fancy shit,
Speaker 1: fucking oh you know, chicken on pizza, having chex with men.
Speaker 1: You know, I feel like the people who like chicken
Speaker 1: on pizza having sex with men is the title of
Speaker 1: this Oh my god, I like chopping the block, chopping,
Speaker 1: the chopping, the chopping it up, chopping it up, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: chopping it up. I'm sorry. Chopping it up is the title. Yes,
Speaker 1: if you know what's insane watching the same people who
Speaker 1: like like Bill Clinton become the people who liked Donald
Speaker 1: Trump one and it is just because the white male
Speaker 1: choice on right and right. And also I do think
Speaker 1: it's the blue collar people they they've Hillary lost them. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Trump is huge in my family because of casinos and
Speaker 1: all my family like and the people I know who
Speaker 1: are into Trump are before they were became closed minded
Speaker 1: sort of bigots, like anti immigration. Before that ship didn't
Speaker 1: even matter to a lot of these people, I know.
Speaker 1: They were just excited that someone who they knew, who's
Speaker 1: from New York makes a bunch of money and despite
Speaker 1: the fact that he doesn't like we finally a business
Speaker 1: like that ship. A businessman is running America. It's like
Speaker 1: he was a businessman who burned businesses to the ground
Speaker 1: and became and he got money out of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so funny. That was such a narrative too. In
Speaker 1: high school, when Mitt Romney was running and he was like, um,
Speaker 1: going to be the nominee, everyone was like, you know,
Speaker 1: the country needs to be run like a business. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, your parents are like really brainwashed you
Speaker 1: with yeah, it's great. And then people are so adamant
Speaker 1: or so anti Hillary or so pro this idea of
Speaker 1: Trump business that when he got elected, they just adopted
Speaker 1: other ideas of theirs that they never even had before. Right,
Speaker 1: You're not so Christian relatives who are conservative all of
Speaker 1: a sudden are like have like these weird Christian values
Speaker 1: that are like You're just You're like, because you don't
Speaker 1: have to just wholeheartedly adopt every belief, you can be like, look,
Speaker 1: I I like this Trump thing. I like the tax breaks.
Speaker 1: I love that I'm rich and getting richer. But let's
Speaker 1: let Mexicans live here. You know, No, you have to
Speaker 1: like you have to swallow the whole pill. And you
Speaker 1: I'm just rambling now. I'm on my second coffee. I realized.
Speaker 1: But when you were saying like that weird headline where
Speaker 1: inside the gay community people are still like they're picking
Speaker 1: you see that ship amongst liberals too right, you can't
Speaker 1: back Kamala Harris, she said this five years ago. None
Speaker 1: of that, yeah, exactly, And where I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: think this is the time for us to like be
Speaker 1: hemming and hawing of like we're not going to build
Speaker 1: the perfect candidate that scratches all the liberal itches because
Speaker 1: that we're all too fraction because we're so like, well,
Speaker 1: that's Bowen's belief, so let's support that. That's Matt's belief,
Speaker 1: that's Gaber's belief. Let's all support those. We can't go Bowen,
Speaker 1: shut the funk up. We need a person who can
Speaker 1: win right now. Or if you do say that, then
Speaker 1: it's like how dare you? And that that is a
Speaker 1: little yes, you know what I mean? Like that is
Speaker 1: like this kind of like thing of you know, like
Speaker 1: I don't I don't even really know, but I just
Speaker 1: feel like if I would feel more confident going forward
Speaker 1: if there was someone we could all agree on. And
Speaker 1: the thing is, there are so many good choices. There
Speaker 1: are so many people that like I feel like could
Speaker 1: go up against Donald Trump, and I can't believe we're
Speaker 1: gonna watch him campaign again like that when what the
Speaker 1: day he wont I was like, what I'm so scared
Speaker 1: of is like that we're gonna all have to watch
Speaker 1: this again, like and it's gonna get worse because if
Speaker 1: they put Kamala Harris up there, you I don't know
Speaker 1: what he's gonna say. And also Kirsten Gila Brand, he's
Speaker 1: gonna like make comments about her voice, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? You can just see. And that's what sucks
Speaker 1: is like everyone that we have as an option, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking to myself, how is he going to be horrible
Speaker 1: to that person? Right? I think we need to like
Speaker 1: and look, I'm all for whoever can win can win,
Speaker 1: So I'm you know, I'm open to whatever person we need.
Speaker 1: But part of me thinks like we need to fight
Speaker 1: alpha with alpha, you know what I mean. Gavin Newsome,
Speaker 1: get like some fucking street tough training and be like,
Speaker 1: you know, some sort But again, I don't know anything.
Speaker 1: Everyone is going to have a problem with some somebody.
Speaker 1: It's almost like we're in a huge street fight and
Speaker 1: we keep getting mad at each other for bumping into
Speaker 1: each other, like we're being surrounded by the other team
Speaker 1: and we're fist fighting, and then we bump into each
Speaker 1: other and it's like, can you please stay over there?
Speaker 1: You know. It's like, guys, we're gonna She's gonna hit
Speaker 1: the fan asap. Let's just make sure we beat the
Speaker 1: other guys. Guys, we were all supposed to be in
Speaker 1: the shame shade of blue arguing about that you are
Speaker 1: an eggshell, um Robin egg show. Yo, No you didn't.
Speaker 1: There are no mistakes which actively will just make that
Speaker 1: the truth. You know, when they said that Oprah, like
Speaker 1: when she made the speech of the Golden Globes and
Speaker 1: everyone was like, oh, bro, we'll be president. I literally
Speaker 1: said to myself, I was like, maybe she's the only
Speaker 1: person that is the answer to That's why people, that's
Speaker 1: why the enthusiasm was there, and because everyone who can
Speaker 1: argue with like her what she's done. Like, I mean,
Speaker 1: it does feel like the answer to Trump. It scares me.
Speaker 1: It scares me though, like what we may find out
Speaker 1: about her if she were to go, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't have one strike against her in anyway.
Speaker 1: It would hurt too bad. Like and also if she
Speaker 1: were to lose, that would feel I think even worse
Speaker 1: than you recover from that. Right, it's not worth it.
Speaker 1: It's not worth it for her. No, no, and she
Speaker 1: knows that, and I truly don't think it was ever
Speaker 1: an option. She should just come out there and fucking
Speaker 1: who back somebody hard and go in. But then there's
Speaker 1: the thing, like we said about Lena Dunham, it's like
Speaker 1: I think Lena should Lena should run. Oh my god, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be a weird like sort of sacrificial lamb.
Speaker 1: Let's put her up early and just have her get
Speaker 1: thank you for taking all the slings and arrows for us.
Speaker 1: A Republican she would probably that would be awesome. She should.
Speaker 1: We should sucking go troll. We should go troll on
Speaker 1: these guys. Honestly, they fucking that's how they want that
Speaker 1: way trolled their fucking way into the White House. He
Speaker 1: is a good bully, he's a fantastic but he's very
Speaker 1: still at being all yeah, yeah, he's very good at
Speaker 1: like I feel like I know your weakness and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just keep saying it until other people are saying it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: All you had to say was the word emails. All
Speaker 1: you had to say was the word. He's still like that,
Speaker 1: like it was Patlilvian, Like no one on the left
Speaker 1: is saying collusion, Like, that's not even what Mueller is after, right,
Speaker 1: he just keeps saying no collusion, no collusion. Now it's
Speaker 1: of now that's a phrase because Republicans are too stupid
Speaker 1: to say obstruction of justice in one sentence. Just in general.
Speaker 1: Also the thing we just talked about this the other day.
Speaker 1: But honestly, like you can't even I think almost think
Speaker 1: there are so many controversies almost on purpose, because it's
Speaker 1: like you can't even remember one of them anymore. There's
Speaker 1: so much bullshit every single day. Yeah, it's a needle,
Speaker 1: and it's needle and a stack of needle. Yeah. Like
Speaker 1: I feel the same way, like, uh, you know, saying
Speaker 1: something problematic on a podcast or on a tweet can
Speaker 1: get you fired or unhired from something like as for
Speaker 1: most people, I feel like I've said enough pseudo problematic
Speaker 1: things that it's sort of like everything else gets put
Speaker 1: under the umbrella of like, wow, what are we gonna do?
Speaker 1: It's got three of podcast content where he's got stupid views.
Speaker 1: I think Trump is like the peak version of that,
Speaker 1: where you're like, well, are we really going to get
Speaker 1: mad at him for this? Because he just did this
Speaker 1: thing that was worse yesterday, and it's going to do
Speaker 1: a worse thing tomorrow. We didn't do anything. Then it's weird.
Speaker 1: You can get fully fired for one bad tweet, but
Speaker 1: you can do thousands of bad things, and everyone's like, well,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Yeah, you can't you can't be
Speaker 1: if you're super, you can't have You can't get a
Speaker 1: nineties seven on the test. You can either get a
Speaker 1: hundred or you can get a zero a thousand times.
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm truly and I'm gonna admit to
Speaker 1: something I'm truly horrified at. Is like the enthusiasm, my
Speaker 1: own enthusiasm of like activism, just like getting out there
Speaker 1: and like doing doing the work is like has just
Speaker 1: tanked in the last three months because you get tired.
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm truly fatigued. I'm with you. It's
Speaker 1: like I'm sober in town. I was. I would listen
Speaker 1: to him. I would watch Matter or listen to the
Speaker 1: podcast version every single night and be like with it.
Speaker 1: And now I'm just like, oh, what New York is?
Speaker 1: Because it feels food feels because you're like honestly, and
Speaker 1: also you have to remember that's also an industry, so
Speaker 1: they want you to keep watching. So she has watched
Speaker 1: this space, watch this space, and it's like we're watching
Speaker 1: the space. Nothing is happening. And so it's almost like
Speaker 1: every day since he's been elected, they've been promising that
Speaker 1: it's gonna end, and it's like, this is what's gonna
Speaker 1: but it's gonna be. This is what it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: That we're exhausted on it now and they won't get
Speaker 1: they won't get advertising if they say, look, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be a slow fucking grind some information over the course
Speaker 1: the next few years. Hopefully we could trip this guy
Speaker 1: and his cronies up. Instead, they go, tomorrow, we have
Speaker 1: tax returns, and it's like a page that was upsetting.
Speaker 1: That was a very upsetting that I I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm pumping the brakes on Mattow. For a while after that,
Speaker 1: I was like, you you used us, you know, I
Speaker 1: felt I felt used in that moment. I felt like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you fucking snake oiled me. You said like, I've got
Speaker 1: the cure for what you're feeling right now, tune in tonight.
Speaker 1: And it was like try this, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: the only good thing that came out of that was
Speaker 1: that she was able to get everyone to watch at
Speaker 1: the same time and explain very cogently like Okay, these
Speaker 1: these are the things that have happened that have lent
Speaker 1: up to us. Um. But yeah, like I'm just I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm just here to say, like I feel a
Speaker 1: certain amount of guilt to with that fatigue, which is
Speaker 1: so dumb and layered. But like it's like it's like
Speaker 1: you think back on then you think you think back
Speaker 1: on like the day after he got inaugurated, the week
Speaker 1: after the Muslim band, and then all of us going
Speaker 1: to JF, like New York going to jfkra people go
Speaker 1: to ALIAX, Like like I don't know what. I don't
Speaker 1: know if there's gonna be another thing that's gonna like
Speaker 1: ignite that same passion and like on like a mass level,
Speaker 1: I know, and I don't know, Like it seems every
Speaker 1: time it seems like, well, if it's not uh, if
Speaker 1: it's banning people from arriving in the country, that's all.
Speaker 1: If it's making Mexicans build up, if it's separating parents
Speaker 1: from their children at the border, and it's like all
Speaker 1: the ship keeps coming out and you're like this has
Speaker 1: to be the thing, and then it's just sort of
Speaker 1: like next you know, it's a month later, and then
Speaker 1: you start to feel fatigue with so when you're like
Speaker 1: Michael Cohen has been indicted or whatever, you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well nothing's gonna happen, and then you you talk about
Speaker 1: the guilt with fatigue. I've started to get so far
Speaker 1: around that where I feel guilt with the bullshit that
Speaker 1: I do for a living, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Where I'm like I can't be at the protests on
Speaker 1: a Saturday because I have to go do a show
Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm like, this is awful. Also, I don't
Speaker 1: have enough free weekends to be a full time activist,
Speaker 1: like it seems crazy. And then also it's like you
Speaker 1: find like I just saw people chemically changed before the
Speaker 1: election and after the election, like especially a lot of
Speaker 1: comics to like all of a sudden, like what that
Speaker 1: what they were talking about exclusively with political stuff? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, maybe this is what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 1: And it's like how do you say that to someone,
Speaker 1: But like you really get a sense that they might
Speaker 1: be more useful like that. And then I did see
Speaker 1: a lot of them land at jobs where they can
Speaker 1: be politically active. And I saw that with a few
Speaker 1: people like Buddies who ended up at like Pods of America,
Speaker 1: Like this is the job I need right now. There's
Speaker 1: some great folks working at Samantha by which I think
Speaker 1: it's exactly where they're supposed to be, right, But like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, it's just like you know,
Speaker 1: it was a confusing time. It's through we just talked
Speaker 1: about this. Actually the world just felt differently before and after,
Speaker 1: like it was like a nine situation. It was like
Speaker 1: the chemistry change, Like it was just darkness. It was weird.
Speaker 1: But then there's also like an odd like hunger game
Speaker 1: this kind of thing to it now where it's like
Speaker 1: what side are you on? Used to you're not used
Speaker 1: to not even ask, and now you're like, no one
Speaker 1: wants conservatives. Super conservatives don't want to do with super liberals.
Speaker 1: Super liberals don't want to deal with super conservatives. And
Speaker 1: that's why going to the island is so hard because
Speaker 1: I had, for the first like twenty six years of
Speaker 1: my life just like loved everyone from for their like
Speaker 1: if they were had different views, it was just like
Speaker 1: not it didn't really matter because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, we weren't gonna die. If Mitt Romney was
Speaker 1: like the president, you know what I mean, Like, it
Speaker 1: would have been fine. It would have been hard, but
Speaker 1: it would have been fine. And we lived through George
Speaker 1: Bush and there were differences and opinions and like, yes,
Speaker 1: that was a very dark time and it felt bad.
Speaker 1: But Trump, when you understand that someone supports Trump and
Speaker 1: then you start talking to them about it, and you realize, oh,
Speaker 1: this isn't going to be as simple as me expressing
Speaker 1: my feelings and then expressing them. Our feelings are not
Speaker 1: getting to a place. It's like when you understand that
Speaker 1: there are ideological, lived in differences between these people that
Speaker 1: you loved so much and still loving anyways, if you're sibling,
Speaker 1: like so when you grew up next to and you're like,
Speaker 1: I thought we had the same exact point of view
Speaker 1: on our fellow people, you know, like or you're in laws,
Speaker 1: You're like, Okay, well, how do you feel? I get
Speaker 1: like some element of what you're feeling because you're just
Speaker 1: we have a different life. You're from like a little
Speaker 1: bit more of a hick up here in upstate New
Speaker 1: York or whatever. But why the funk, like, how does
Speaker 1: how do you expand all the way? How do you
Speaker 1: get like, how do you bring in that other part
Speaker 1: of you where? Because there's always it's always bubbling on
Speaker 1: Long Island too, where it's like when your uncle said,
Speaker 1: I don't know that place gets a little dark on
Speaker 1: the weekends. You're like, oh, you don't realize what they're
Speaker 1: talking about it first, and then you're like, wow, okay,
Speaker 1: you felt good enough to say that. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: felt comfortable enough to say that. And then now you're like,
Speaker 1: you feel like these people are just getting more and
Speaker 1: more embold And I'm like, if that's what they were
Speaker 1: saying in nine, what are they saying now? First of all,
Speaker 1: I put on a red hat this morning, and I
Speaker 1: was like, can I even wear this? It's a surf
Speaker 1: shop corduroy hat. But I got panicked that. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't wear a red hat. I'm a fat white
Speaker 1: guy with a red hat on, and I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: a I have an eleven year old cousin and right
Speaker 1: before the election, my mom was like babysitting him and
Speaker 1: he's in the back of the car and they're driving
Speaker 1: somewhere and he starts talking about Hillary and he called
Speaker 1: her a murderer, And like, what's going in about how
Speaker 1: you know Hillary is a murder This is an eleven
Speaker 1: year old kid, And I'm like, this is what's really
Speaker 1: fucked up. It is that you can just casually pass
Speaker 1: down to your eleven year old child that Hillary Clinton
Speaker 1: is a murderer and that he thinks now that he's
Speaker 1: like informed about this and it's eleven years old, and
Speaker 1: if that's just I can't let that go. I can.
Speaker 1: It feels that's like I will leave the person out
Speaker 1: of this for their privacy. But someone said to me
Speaker 1: it was like someone uninformed about politics. I was talking
Speaker 1: in them and they were like, uh, They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna vote for Hillary, right, this is before that.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I mean, what's the other option?
Speaker 1: They were like, well, what about the bombs? And I go,
Speaker 1: I go, what bombs? They're like the bombs and they're Hillary.
Speaker 1: My friend was telling me that Hillary was dropping bombs
Speaker 1: on something and I go, and why does that have
Speaker 1: set you? And I know they're wrong, and I know
Speaker 1: I think this person was talking about Benghazi and just
Speaker 1: didn't even understand what it was. And I'm like, so,
Speaker 1: what do you think happened? You think Hillary Clinton as
Speaker 1: secretary of State dropped bombs and now we're only hearing
Speaker 1: about this days before the it didn't happen, and like,
Speaker 1: uh the stock like uh, the same person went The
Speaker 1: stock market went up when Trump got elected on like
Speaker 1: one percent of the world owned stocks, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like you happen to own stocks, so you
Speaker 1: feel a direct benefit. And that's the ship that drives
Speaker 1: me crazy is where it's like I love a direct benefit,
Speaker 1: but I can't help but think, like what about these
Speaker 1: other sex amount of people? What if we all benefit
Speaker 1: totally or just the lie like it none of that.
Speaker 1: That's the thing. But here's my thing too in now
Speaker 1: thought experiment, what's our liberally like when we say ship,
Speaker 1: like oh, Stormy Daniels or whatever are we is that
Speaker 1: are BEng Ghazi over? Are we getting caught up in
Speaker 1: some bullshit too? Yeah? You know the crazy thing that
Speaker 1: we believe uniformly right that they would that conservatives. That
Speaker 1: sounds insane, You're nuts. Honestly, I think us us all
Speaker 1: the tape maybe like that, yes, yes, maybe the pe tape.
Speaker 1: But even that's like that's in adoscia there's like that
Speaker 1: was investigated. I don't know. And we don't even feel
Speaker 1: the way about the pe tape as these monsters felt about.
Speaker 1: We're not saying I'm not gonna vote for Donald Trump
Speaker 1: because the hook or piste on. Yeah, as a matter
Speaker 1: of fact, that's one of the more humanizing things about it.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I feel like, I again, my sister was
Speaker 1: like not for me, But then again, neither is conservatives.
Speaker 1: I even tweeted like when when the dossier came out
Speaker 1: and like pe tape was like the word I was
Speaker 1: just like, but honestly like kind of like kind of
Speaker 1: kind of happy for Trump. It makes him more rounded,
Speaker 1: like makes more well rounded as a person. And it's
Speaker 1: the thing I mean, I mean, I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: he's like not know you love him Donald Trump. And
Speaker 1: he has a funny story about he was at the
Speaker 1: after part. I've told us a million times, but I
Speaker 1: will say it to John. So Donald Trump hosted us
Speaker 1: an L and that was the episode that Bond happened
Speaker 1: to go to and like they had like a he
Speaker 1: had like an interaction with a Vanka that was like insane,
Speaker 1: and then Donald Trump was leaving the restaurant, and I was, yeah, great, um,
Speaker 1: and yeah, you know he I was hammered and like
Speaker 1: and like like people are just like he didn't have
Speaker 1: secret service. I mean, he has his own security, but
Speaker 1: he like Keith Um. But yeah, they just just like
Speaker 1: pushing people aside. But then like I was like along
Speaker 1: the procession of him walking and I was hammered. And
Speaker 1: he passes by a go great show tonight. And you guys,
Speaker 1: thank you didn't doesn't make eye contact, complimented Donald Trump
Speaker 1: on his comedy after his show, your comedian Jimmy fallon
Speaker 1: you guys in the same Um, I do think the
Speaker 1: Stormy Daniels is the thing that they can't believe, Like
Speaker 1: why are you guys, like supporting a porn star? How
Speaker 1: could you? Because they they don't understand like the idea
Speaker 1: of like, you know, um, embracing sex work as like
Speaker 1: a thing that like people do and pay her bills.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think people think porn star. They think
Speaker 1: or they think like and that's like a horrible thing,
Speaker 1: Like how dare you like? But it's Trump is like
Speaker 1: porn star. Like the thing you liked about him in
Speaker 1: the eighties and nineties is that he was more a
Speaker 1: porn star with Yeah, Um, it's so it's so weird. Also,
Speaker 1: that's my favorite ship too, is like, I think the
Speaker 1: thing that drives me most crazy about this DIVI and
Speaker 1: amongst sides is like the reason we're into porn stars
Speaker 1: is because I think we're all honest with ourselves. It's like,
Speaker 1: we watch porn, like the least you could do is
Speaker 1: respect the people in it, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: and the other side definitely watches porn. Yeah, and that's
Speaker 1: what bothers me where it's like they definitely watch pornography,
Speaker 1: they definitely watch sports, they definitely watch entertainment featuring minorities
Speaker 1: and LGBT people and they can't see also that it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: maybe I should support them outside of you know that,
Speaker 1: I would be more stars struck if I saw Carter
Speaker 1: Dane than I saw Julia Roberts star I assumed card.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do. We haven't asked this questions
Speaker 1: two grays anatomy names good. We should ask this question
Speaker 1: before we get into I don't think so, honey, So
Speaker 1: we ask all of our guests that come through, Um,
Speaker 1: what was the culture that that you experienced that made
Speaker 1: you say culture was for you, Like what was the
Speaker 1: defining thing as you were growing up, Like there was
Speaker 1: a movie like Musical Artist, a television show and it
Speaker 1: was like defining for you kind of like made you
Speaker 1: follow it in a way that was like I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: that's really Oh that's a very good questions question. I
Speaker 1: like that question. I guess I would say the first
Speaker 1: time I saw like, uh, like I watched action movies
Speaker 1: with my dad growing up, and I'd be like, this
Speaker 1: is so cool. And then I remember when I saw
Speaker 1: a comedy movie I was watching, maybe it was like
Speaker 1: a cable guy or like, you know, one of the
Speaker 1: dumb and dumber at one of those Tommy boy that
Speaker 1: generates movies, like these are so funny, These are so funny.
Speaker 1: I was so into comedy. And then my dad said, uh,
Speaker 1: and we didn't have a good relationship, but like movies,
Speaker 1: where are connection? And he was like, oh, you should
Speaker 1: see this movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Speaker 1: And I was a little D and D kid and
Speaker 1: a budding comedy kid. I didn't know it at the time,
Speaker 1: and then I was I watched that and I was like,
Speaker 1: these guys are adults being silly riding horses, carrying swords.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's a cooler thing you can do.
Speaker 1: And I felt in that moment. And then when I
Speaker 1: eventually came to UCB as as unlike what it was
Speaker 1: in my head, it still was, Hey, we're all a
Speaker 1: bunch of comedy people. We have like sort of the
Speaker 1: same reference points. And I felt and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is this is the AMA And then I sort
Speaker 1: of just felt that vibe and continued that, like continued
Speaker 1: that and the and then did that open the door
Speaker 1: to the Monty Python stuff? Oh yeah, But like I've
Speaker 1: eventually got all of Flying Circus on DVD, you know. Uh,
Speaker 1: And even late way later in life got into British
Speaker 1: comedy more. But for me that was more just about like, hey,
Speaker 1: this comedy movie is. And then also another one, another
Speaker 1: version of that was when I first saw the movie
Speaker 1: hot Shots, which is like a top gun parody. So
Speaker 1: it's parodying films that I love, like the mask bullshit
Speaker 1: mask in action movies. And I can get the both
Speaker 1: the comedy, but I also love all the reference and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I even though this is
Speaker 1: a thing you could do, it's like, hold both of
Speaker 1: those believes. I've sort of always been as uh, now
Speaker 1: that I'm less cultus ally the year, I've always sort
Speaker 1: of been like this weird dichotomy of like meathead and
Speaker 1: nerd or like yeah, you know, like I was a
Speaker 1: theater kid and a rugby player. It was like I
Speaker 1: did short form improv and drinking games. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: was like I was kind of was always had like
Speaker 1: a foot on both sides, so I felt. And then
Speaker 1: when I found those like parody movies and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like in Monty Python of course stands
Speaker 1: out like right, yeah, that's I'm glad you can textualized
Speaker 1: it with um that the action movies was the thing
Speaker 1: that like major Dad say, oh, actually there's this, here's
Speaker 1: this totally different thing that sort of has some connection
Speaker 1: to it, like spiritual connection to that. I fucking love
Speaker 1: the moment that I rented Monty Python and the Holy
Speaker 1: Girl from the library and like popped it. I didn't
Speaker 1: really know like people were like kids at school be
Speaker 1: like oh it's so funny, and I just like read
Speaker 1: it from the library, popped into the DCR fucking lost
Speaker 1: my mind. Like the the opening title cards, like he's
Speaker 1: been sacked, like that person has been sacked. I was like,
Speaker 1: what is this right? And it's really you would I
Speaker 1: would have written it off a year earlier just based
Speaker 1: on the lighting, you know what I mean. Like when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I could not get my head
Speaker 1: around seventies ships, you know what I mean, like even classics.
Speaker 1: And then now I like, yeah, I really, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is not a multi camp sitcom. It's super well lit,
Speaker 1: so it's garbage. I remember the first time I saw
Speaker 1: like a Doctor Who episode when I was young, I'm like,
Speaker 1: who watches this? And then when I got like, as
Speaker 1: I got older and you like get appreciation for that
Speaker 1: like look and all of a sudden you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this whole world. Yeah, it's just man. I
Speaker 1: have to ask you about your preferred drinking game in
Speaker 1: high school, um or in general. In high school it
Speaker 1: was beer pong was the big one. And then when
Speaker 1: I was eventually here some long island ship, when I
Speaker 1: was eventually a Jones Beach lifeguard, Oh, we would do
Speaker 1: a hell of a lot of beer pongs. Shout out
Speaker 1: to my I'm not even to give his last name
Speaker 1: because I feel like he's a businessman now Shout out
Speaker 1: to my s or beer punk partner. Five summers running
Speaker 1: kicked ass every time. Shout out to Joe. See I
Speaker 1: was a flip cup bit. Oh I could play a
Speaker 1: game of flip cup. And then in college we got
Speaker 1: into rugby team did boat races, which is just chuck
Speaker 1: a beer and put it on your head. See I
Speaker 1: haven't a college was different because we went to n
Speaker 1: y U and it was like we did the more
Speaker 1: cerebral drinking games, like like Kings. I love Kings. Is
Speaker 1: that like a cup of death or whatever? You like
Speaker 1: when you flipped the cards over? And like every every
Speaker 1: does something different. But flip Cup I loved because of
Speaker 1: the racing as when I did cross country and so
Speaker 1: I was on the track and I was like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's about speed. I love it. And it's just like
Speaker 1: I love that you only had to drink like a
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah. And then it was also there's like
Speaker 1: a performative aspect and a sort of like you get
Speaker 1: to be you're you're kind of always playing with flip cup.
Speaker 1: Once you flipped you can just you can hang you
Speaker 1: can Also like when you got it over on the
Speaker 1: first try, that felt that there's nothing There's no better
Speaker 1: feeling in the world. Truly, There's not a cooler move
Speaker 1: than casually drinking your beer, no rush, placing it down
Speaker 1: and then just flipping it. And you're a flip cup assassin,
Speaker 1: right and you can take if you take your time
Speaker 1: and do it with confidence. It's the coolest looking Did
Speaker 1: you play those games? Now? I was the only time
Speaker 1: I remember ever playing flip Cup in college was when
Speaker 1: we went to d C d C together and like
Speaker 1: we went to some kids basement and like we we
Speaker 1: played it on a door. I mean there was beer
Speaker 1: pong that was played on a door, remember that plays horizontal,
Speaker 1: And then like played flip Cup once and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I don't like it. No, we would just
Speaker 1: we would just be like fucking idiot theater kids in
Speaker 1: high school and just do like never have I ever
Speaker 1: and like I like that, Oh my god. We would
Speaker 1: when I would my friends in high school, we used
Speaker 1: to get like a beach house on Fire Island every
Speaker 1: every year and like we would just have like twenty
Speaker 1: four verse twenty four, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: it would be tables aligned. Honestly, I loved it and
Speaker 1: I still would love it to this day, like that's
Speaker 1: just a part of that's like a part of my
Speaker 1: history that I'm still like my days doing that are
Speaker 1: not open, but they can't be. I think the gays
Speaker 1: can reclaim beer pong. I want, I don't really need
Speaker 1: flip beer pong gays. Fire Island. We're gonna go to
Speaker 1: Fire Island in a few weeks, I think. I think
Speaker 1: we propose that. I think you're going to Fire Island.
Speaker 1: We're going we're going from the fifth to the twelve,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna miss the fourth. I'm from the first. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's cool, that'll be great. I think we're gonna be
Speaker 1: there for the invasion, which is when they get all
Speaker 1: a bunch of drag queens on the ferry coming in
Speaker 1: Hell and then everyone's in Dragon. So we're probably gonna
Speaker 1: go and Dragon and go to the pier and that's amazing.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get like, I'm gonna get my eyebrows blocked.
Speaker 1: What's the which beaches that the Pines and then Cherry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then people talk people on any other beach like
Speaker 1: they talk about like Fire Island and then they have
Speaker 1: they associate gay with it. But you know from growing
Speaker 1: up there, you know it is mostly yeah, or like
Speaker 1: Tina Fey as a house, and because I went to
Speaker 1: Kismid every summer. Kisman was where we went as eighteen
Speaker 1: year olds and got so fucked up. I had my
Speaker 1: one of my best friends in high school, Carl, went
Speaker 1: to r p I and he was like a sick
Speaker 1: engineer and he made this funnel that would had two
Speaker 1: handles and they held six beers, three on each side.
Speaker 1: I used to be able to take three natty ices
Speaker 1: to the chest. No, I was a tank like I
Speaker 1: would have We would have hard right now because I
Speaker 1: got a guy in the tank top telling me takes
Speaker 1: three nat lights natty lighting the needle of sexuality and homosexuality.
Speaker 1: In my mind right here said if Jesus turned water
Speaker 1: into wine, the devil turned water into natty ice. And
Speaker 1: we would do a beer sickle course which was flip
Speaker 1: cup into beer pong into like some other game, uh
Speaker 1: into It ended in the and it was epic. We
Speaker 1: should do insane bullshit like that. Yeah. One time beer
Speaker 1: pong tournament uh at a friend's house. His mom was
Speaker 1: out of town for weekend. Like twelve teams. Me and
Speaker 1: my buddy, We're like, we're gonna win this. We're better
Speaker 1: drinkers than everyone. Here's the plan. You have to you
Speaker 1: have to drink the cups at the end. So we
Speaker 1: thought we'll fill our cups up to all the time
Speaker 1: and then if we win fast, someone's gonna drink six
Speaker 1: beers and not be able to play the later round. Instead,
Speaker 1: we want to buy one cup three games in a row,
Speaker 1: and had drank beers just just the two of us.
Speaker 1: No one else was as drunk as we were, and
Speaker 1: we were throwing up in between rounds. And we actually
Speaker 1: left that party and stole the entire bar. And they
Speaker 1: were like, did you guys take all the Bailey? Like
Speaker 1: we like grabbed two bottles of liquor each out of there,
Speaker 1: like parents bar, Like did you take the Bailey's Amaretto,
Speaker 1: blue Curasao? And just drinking And it was just about
Speaker 1: taking it. I just wanted The last listeners are like,
Speaker 1: who the funk is Matt Rogers, We don't even know.
Speaker 1: I'm having like an out experience. Yeah, your octaves are
Speaker 1: all over the place. Literally, I knew when you came in.
Speaker 1: I was like the Long Island and me is gonna
Speaker 1: come roaring out that to other people also, and me
Speaker 1: on this podcast is bringing out all my late and
Speaker 1: Almo sexually. Wait, and that's the crossover, and that's the
Speaker 1: costsover and that in the middle. Yeah, me and me,
Speaker 1: I think it's time. I think it's time. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Now John is now a seasoned veteran
Speaker 1: in thefore, I know what I don't now, I know
Speaker 1: what I don't think so so funny you m you
Speaker 1: slipped into my d Hell, yeah, you're like, what the
Speaker 1: fun is that? I was like excited for the show?
Speaker 1: What is? And I don't think so, honey. I don't
Speaker 1: know if the Custer first episode, no, they will have
Speaker 1: come out. I don't know. Can can confirm ors and
Speaker 1: I we're not sure. But the best part was also
Speaker 1: that I was like a third two. Yeah, you were like.
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I know what it is.
Speaker 1: We didn't we didn't set the order right, but anyway,
Speaker 1: I was fine. And I said to him, he was like,
Speaker 1: is this the most hetero sexual question ever? Asked like,
Speaker 1: what isn't I don't think so, honey, And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you why. It's queer because you want to
Speaker 1: put yourself in a position to win and want to
Speaker 1: be cut throat and that, honey, it's quick. That's exactly
Speaker 1: what you wrote to me, and I went, it's actually
Speaker 1: a rule of culture number forty seven. Being cut throat
Speaker 1: is queer. Okay, okay, great, this is a we're doing all.
Speaker 1: I don't think we're doing some relegance culture. You know
Speaker 1: what it is. So if I don't have anything planned
Speaker 1: right now, but maybe you can always great. This is
Speaker 1: not Rogers. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now,
Speaker 1: I actually don't think so honey. Karaoke, and I'll tell
Speaker 1: you why, because I'm a perfectionist about these kinds of
Speaker 1: things and when and the songs that I want to
Speaker 1: sing are very commonly out of my range, honey. And
Speaker 1: so unless it's a cutting edge karaoke machine that I
Speaker 1: can lower the key, which is often what I need
Speaker 1: to do, honey, because I can't sing if I can
Speaker 1: turn back time and the original key needs to be
Speaker 1: like a step down, like maybe get half a step down.
Speaker 1: If it's not, I don't think so, honey. And I
Speaker 1: don't think so karaoke because oftentimes at the end of
Speaker 1: then I will have a ruined voice. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: that karaoke is taking my gift and stomping on it
Speaker 1: and stomping on it. And also, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: when you go to karaoke with all your gay friends
Speaker 1: and you know it's a competition. So I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey when it becomes a competition bitch, because guess what,
Speaker 1: it's about the joy of singing. And also, if you
Speaker 1: ever hear me sing in a real way, you will
Speaker 1: know I am a shanto. But unfortunately I am the
Speaker 1: elusive Sean Too's like Mariah carry herself, honey, because guess
Speaker 1: what a lot of times I'm just on karaoke and
Speaker 1: I have nothing to offer you. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Karaoke also a lot of times the bad fonts on
Speaker 1: the screen, And that's one minute. I don't like very
Speaker 1: much seeing it live, seeing it up close, seeing an
Speaker 1: official loss culture stas, I don't think, sony happening on
Speaker 1: my face. I can get it now, it's intimate, get it,
Speaker 1: get it now. But you got it in the beginning.
Speaker 1: I got it. You did trouble. What did you pick
Speaker 1: out of the trouble? I got people named Tori, people
Speaker 1: named Tori. That was Matt Rodgers was like, I tried
Speaker 1: Gavers made it work. Okay, this is Bowen Yanks. I
Speaker 1: don't think you already and this is gonna this make
Speaker 1: me some enemies. Yeah, you're making a lot of enemies
Speaker 1: on this podcast today and his time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so many fucking food halls, bitch, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about Grand Central Market, talking about fucking Decal market in Brooklyn, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about Italy even let's let's throw Italy in
Speaker 1: the mix. It is perfore you are watching, You're watching
Speaker 1: people eat, people are watching you eat and slurp up
Speaker 1: some poke a or whatever the fuck. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: It is theater, but it is bad. It is theater
Speaker 1: of mastication. That's what it is, honey. And I do
Speaker 1: not like excelet At eight in the morning that we
Speaker 1: tried to go to car breakfast, we thought we'd beat
Speaker 1: the rush. No, the line was around every fucking booth,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is bullshit. Was excellent. I
Speaker 1: can fry an egg, and I can make what do
Speaker 1: they calling Bohemian eggs. Fry my egg with the bacon,
Speaker 1: put it on between two pieces of toast. I don't
Speaker 1: think so many food halls. I do not like the
Speaker 1: culture of having to like pick out. It's listen, it's
Speaker 1: a mall. It's a fucking mall. Don't glorify it. Give
Speaker 1: me a Panda Express and then I'm going to go
Speaker 1: that far. Give me some actual options. I don't want
Speaker 1: to have to figure out your menu and decide for
Speaker 1: all that. I don't think, so, honey. And that's one minute. Wow,
Speaker 1: I wanted. I was started off disagreeing with you, and
Speaker 1: by the end, I'm like, there's nothing more humiliating than
Speaker 1: walking around with a tray of food trying to find
Speaker 1: a place. High school. It's the worst part about high schools.
Speaker 1: It's strangers and it's kids, and it's like all the bullshit.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't think so, I'm going to
Speaker 1: save this for another episode. Can you preview what's the topic? Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think, so honey. Of the name eggs, okay,
Speaker 1: it didn't make me want to eat the food, that's
Speaker 1: fair enough. And literally we went I said this, we
Speaker 1: were hungry, and then we got to that food hall
Speaker 1: in l A. What's that one called? And then I
Speaker 1: saw eggs, and I'm like, oh, I'm not hungry anymore.
Speaker 1: It could be called bacon slut and it would be
Speaker 1: less bad. Egg. It's the it's not even the slut,
Speaker 1: it's the egg. It's it's the idea of being a
Speaker 1: slut for Eggs where we're gonna do an episode with
Speaker 1: Frank Glaspie. That's gonna be there. You go, okay, great,
Speaker 1: And this is John Gabs's Ally of the Year. John
Speaker 1: Gabers is, I don't think so honey, and his time
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't think so honey. Chatty Uber drivers,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't even use lift anymore. I know
Speaker 1: hashtag delete Uber. Sorry, I just lost my ally ship
Speaker 1: because I found on anecdotally that lift drivers talk more
Speaker 1: than Uber drivers. Because I'm I'm in here, I want
Speaker 1: to talk to New York versus l A. I miss
Speaker 1: a fucking harrowing drive home from someone who doesn't even
Speaker 1: seem like they want to pick me up. I love
Speaker 1: someone that's mad that I'm even making them do their
Speaker 1: job here. And when I get an Uber driver and
Speaker 1: it says armand it will be there in five minutes,
Speaker 1: I'm pumped. I want to dude in a Honda Civic
Speaker 1: who is talking in a different language to a fucking
Speaker 1: cousin back home. I don't want him to even look
Speaker 1: at me. I want to watch movie. I'm stoned, I'm drunk.
Speaker 1: I'm in an Uber for a reason. I want to
Speaker 1: be just looking at my fucking phone. I don't want
Speaker 1: to get in the lift and fist bump you and
Speaker 1: then here or you wreck, ignize me, or tell me
Speaker 1: about your podcast. Put on second Uber a one dollar
Speaker 1: up charge if you ask for a quiet driver and
Speaker 1: a business proposal to end the whole thing. And you
Speaker 1: know what. Today my lift getting here, his name was Charlie,
Speaker 1: and I was like, fuck, Charlie's gonna talk. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: gonna talk. But he didn't. And this is I think
Speaker 1: Joel pointed that out, pointed this out for us. An
Speaker 1: Uber lift driver with with to bring it back to
Speaker 1: head shots, a driver with a head like an actual
Speaker 1: head shot. Bad. They were going to talk to you
Speaker 1: about their podcast. They're gonna talk you about whatever. I
Speaker 1: cannot listen to another conversation about a small business. I
Speaker 1: literally I love small business. It's insane. But I also
Speaker 1: don't want to hear like how long you've been driving for?
Speaker 1: Like I just want to just I know more about
Speaker 1: my lift driver Jasmine from last night than I know
Speaker 1: about Bowen Yang. Yeah, who really does know Bowen? Though?
Speaker 1: Here you go, who really knows you? I'm intrinsically he does.
Speaker 1: I've been Joel combusted this whole time. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it was Joel. It was Joel. Um, oh my god,
Speaker 1: these I was. I will say some solid I don't
Speaker 1: and I'm going to include myself in this solid. I
Speaker 1: don't think yes your own I'm not great. Thank you.
Speaker 1: This was a dynamic episode. I pick a political honey. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got a little pop cultural honey. We talked about
Speaker 1: our upbringing. Honey. That's an episode of Last culturesas right there.
Speaker 1: This is quintessential Last Colts, and it took a straight
Speaker 1: man in a red baseball cap to bring it out.
Speaker 1: We were wrong before and now we're right. John Gabriel
Speaker 1: Gabriel listen, raised my TV high mighty and just and
Speaker 1: Oliver TV. Everywhere you go. Um, this man is going
Speaker 1: place there. What do you want to say to everyone?
Speaker 1: I miss you, guys, everyone people in general. John John
Speaker 1: Gabriel misses humanity. He's married, so I don't really know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll catch him smoking out a joint outside and outside
Speaker 1: of his house in Hollywood. Draw us like you catch
Speaker 1: catch me walking in short shorts with a tiny dog
Speaker 1: smoking a joint in West Hollywood. Name Arthur. Oh, that's amazing, Arthur.
Speaker 1: I used to want to name my dog Anderson Cooper.
Speaker 1: But now no, Anderson Cooper. Dude left left hay out
Speaker 1: to dry and I don't like that. Bring Arthur next time.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have gabs back, please, And you guys should
Speaker 1: come to high and mighty. At some points, I am
Speaker 1: very high, and might I have I have some littletables
Speaker 1: in your purse. Sativa. That's what I remember. I can't do.
Speaker 1: I can't do Indica because it makes me anxious and
Speaker 1: tired when it. Sativa makes me fucking Mattie and horny.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. That's what is right, Brett. How
Speaker 1: chatty and horny can I get? But not very? But
Speaker 1: not a driver? You know you're never a driver if
Speaker 1: you're chatty and no, no, no, no, okay, Well great,
Speaker 1: this has been lost. Culture is death with John Gabriels,
Speaker 1: let's sing a song to close out, as we always
Speaker 1: do every night. In my dreams, I see a fear you.
Speaker 1: That's how I Know you Go on, and if you
Speaker 1: want to hear the rest of that song, go to
Speaker 1: listen to the Titanic soundtrack. Fye Bye Forever. This has
Speaker 1: been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham,
Speaker 1: Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please
Speaker 1: visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 1: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and
Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook.