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Speaker 1: Buggal u. Hold on time, we got it for you.

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Speaker 1: Here it is this Yawberry letter. Alright subject, I want

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Speaker 1: to call it quits after twenty one years of dating.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. My life could not be more complicated.

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Speaker 1: I'm a thirty six year old woman and I've been

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Speaker 1: dating the same man for twenty one years. Yes, that's right.

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Speaker 1: He's my boyfriend and we've been together off and on

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Speaker 1: since middle school. He was my first love and my

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Speaker 1: first sexual encounter. We have three teenage children, and we

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Speaker 1: have been through all of the ups and downs and

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Speaker 1: married couples have, but we've never been married. He has

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Speaker 1: never wanted to get married. I wanted to marry him

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Speaker 1: when we were in our twenties, but change my mind

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Speaker 1: because he was not treating me like a queen and

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Speaker 1: making me feel like I was the prettiest woman in

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Speaker 1: the world. I was thinking because he never had to

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Speaker 1: commit to me in marriage, that he started taking me

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Speaker 1: for granted. For many years now, he has not paid

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Speaker 1: any attention to me when he's home him he loves

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Speaker 1: his video games. We rarely go out to dinner, and

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Speaker 1: we've never been on vacation. After twenty one years, I'm

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Speaker 1: done with trying to make this relationship work. It's like

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Speaker 1: I'm roommates with my best friend that I that I

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Speaker 1: grew up with. I want to call it quits, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know how it should be easy? Right since

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Speaker 1: I don't have to divorce him, How do I end

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Speaker 1: things with my best friend, lover and father of my children? Help?

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Speaker 1: All right? Uh? Something that you said in the letter

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Speaker 1: about he doesn't treat you like a queen, Well, I say,

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Speaker 1: if you really believe you're a queen, then act like it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, do what queens do. Put yourself first and

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Speaker 1: stop allowing him to treat you that way, just any

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Speaker 1: old kind of way. Uh. You know why you have

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Speaker 1: to put up with his foolishness. I have no idea

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Speaker 1: for twenty one years. And yes, he's taking you for

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Speaker 1: granted because you let him. If he doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: marry you, leave him. If you want to get married, leave. Uh.

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Speaker 1: You know why are you wasting your life with him?

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Speaker 1: Twenty one years of your life? I understand you know

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Speaker 1: that he may have a special place in your heart

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Speaker 1: because he was your first and you know he was

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Speaker 1: your first love and everything. He's the father of your

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Speaker 1: teenage children. But it's time to you know, just start

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Speaker 1: using your head in this situation. Keep your heart out

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Speaker 1: of it for a moment and this relationship because it's

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Speaker 1: going to continually get broken. So I just say, stay woke.

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Speaker 1: You know you you have to know that it's okay

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Speaker 1: to feel how you feel and be fed up and

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Speaker 1: want out. It is okay. You can walk away. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what your living arrangement is or anything like that,

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Speaker 1: but either you can pack your bags and get out,

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Speaker 1: or you can pack his bags and tell him to

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Speaker 1: get out. Now is the time? After twenty one years, Steve, Well,

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Speaker 1: this is a crazy letter man, because it has a

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Speaker 1: couple of problem points in it, more than a couple.

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Speaker 1: I want to call it quits after twenty one years

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Speaker 1: of dating. Uh. That that's an alarming number of years

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Speaker 1: for dating. I want to call it quits after twenty

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Speaker 1: one years of dating. Wow, twenty one years. You ain't

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Speaker 1: got a ring, a proposal, a promise ring, nothing, You

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Speaker 1: just dating. But things are happening in this relationship that

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Speaker 1: goes a little bit past dating. Um, I'm thirty six

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Speaker 1: years old, which means you've been with this man? What

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Speaker 1: aw long since you were fifteen. Okay, Uh, that's right,

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Speaker 1: and he's my boyfriend. You're not supposed to be anybody's

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Speaker 1: boyfriend after college. That's ladies. You're not supposed to be

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Speaker 1: somebody's girlfriend at the college. After college, this stuff has

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Speaker 1: to start meaning stuff. Get all that wey with stuff

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Speaker 1: out your system in college. After college, it allos started

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Speaker 1: meaning something to you. You still girlfriend? Uh, he was

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Speaker 1: my first love and my first sexual encrownter. Well, that's good.

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Speaker 1: You were fifteen. That's that's good. I'm not saying it

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Speaker 1: happened at fifteen, but at least that's good. We have

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Speaker 1: three teenage children, so you're having babies while you're just dating.

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Speaker 1: And you've demanded nothing, as you've given this man three children.

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Speaker 1: You've demanded nothing, and you've been through all the ups

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Speaker 1: and downs that married couples go through, like what what

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Speaker 1: like threatening threatening to divorce, threatening to never see your

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Speaker 1: children again, threatening to take everything you own, threatening to

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Speaker 1: take half of his income due to child support. No,

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Speaker 1: you haven't, No, you haven't. That's what happens when married

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Speaker 1: people discussed leaving. Your discussion of leaving, like Shirley said,

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Speaker 1: requires nothing unless you're in the state of California. Then

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Speaker 1: you got problems now, but we've never been married. Here's

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Speaker 1: here's the line. He has never wanted to get married. Well,

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Speaker 1: and he's been doing what he want to do. He

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Speaker 1: never wanted to get married. And guess what he ain't

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Speaker 1: ta where the hell is to surprise at this man

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Speaker 1: ain't ever wanted to get married. And guess what he

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Speaker 1: ain't married. I wanted to marry him when we were

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Speaker 1: in our twenties and change my mind because he wasn't

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Speaker 1: treating me like a queen. Listen to me. He still

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Speaker 1: don't treat you like a queen, nor will he ever

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Speaker 1: treat you like a queen. You have gotten what this

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Speaker 1: man at best was gonna get of you three babies,

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Speaker 1: and it took you twenty one years to get that.

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Speaker 1: He has not treated you like a queen. He will

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Speaker 1: never treat you like a queen because he don't do

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Speaker 1: nothing he don't want to do. He didn't want to

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Speaker 1: get mad, and for twenty one years don't gonna he ain't.

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Speaker 1: This writing is on the wall. You say in your letter,

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Speaker 1: my life could not be more complicated, or it could

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Speaker 1: be more complicated. You could be married. Oh it would

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Speaker 1: be a lot more complicated if you were married, so

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Speaker 1: your life could be a lot more complicated. But because

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Speaker 1: you ain't married, like Shirley say, you can just walk

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Speaker 1: off and he would have to pay for them kids.

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Speaker 1: I got the rest of it when we come back.

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Speaker 1: That noticed right here you're talking about. All right, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna have two. Come on, let's get to part two

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Speaker 1: of your response to today's letter. Year twenty one year

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Speaker 1: relationship of dating with this man has produced nothing but

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Speaker 1: hardship for this woman and three beautiful children. So that's

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Speaker 1: what you got out of the deal. They beautiful kids.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna grow up to become something absolutely wonderful. Almost

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Speaker 1: willing to bet that. But as for you, what you've

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Speaker 1: gotten from it has been what he said he wasn't

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Speaker 1: gonna do. He said he never wanted to be mad.

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Speaker 1: And guess what, he ain't married. And this little you're

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Speaker 1: talking about you've been together twenty one years. Since they've

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Speaker 1: been together off and on since middle school. The hell

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Speaker 1: did that mean? I keep telling y'all men don't do off.

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Speaker 1: You always say that me and don't do off. We

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Speaker 1: own somewhere. If we offer you, we own to her.

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Speaker 1: If we offer you, we own to her immediately. Period.

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Speaker 1: That's how men are built. Does that make us wrong? No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just telling you that's how we built. We don't

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Speaker 1: need no time. I am to yourself. Go up in

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Speaker 1: the mountains and find ourselves. No, we go over to

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Speaker 1: her house and find ourselves that evening. Okay, So now

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Speaker 1: you wanted to marry him when you in your twenties,

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Speaker 1: but I changed my mind because he was not treating

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Speaker 1: me like a queen. And I'm telling you he still

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Speaker 1: ain't treating you like a queen. And I got some

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Speaker 1: more news for you. He will never ever treat you

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Speaker 1: like a queen because you are not his queen. You're

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Speaker 1: not his queen. He's not your king. So why would

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Speaker 1: he treat you like that? And why would you keep

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Speaker 1: expecting to be treated like a queen when he has

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Speaker 1: never performed or acted like a king. A man can't

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Speaker 1: treat you like a queen unless he's a king. He

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Speaker 1: can't be the page now, he can't be the little

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Speaker 1: monkey jack. He can't be the jack jack on your

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Speaker 1: side show. He uh to get you, treat you like

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Speaker 1: the mean you really all, he has to be the king.

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Speaker 1: Everybody else up, Oh my god, there's a queen about

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Speaker 1: al But they can't come do nothing for you because

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Speaker 1: they ain't the king. M now, she said. I was thinking,

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Speaker 1: because he never had committed to me in marriage, that

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Speaker 1: he started taking me for granted. No, listen to me again,

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Speaker 1: you said, uh, he never after he said the queen

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Speaker 1: line and making me feel like I was the prettiest

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Speaker 1: woman in the world. I was thinking, because he had

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Speaker 1: never committed to me in marriage, that he started to

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Speaker 1: take me for granted. No, you reverse that. He's taking

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Speaker 1: you for granted because he ain't got to commit to

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Speaker 1: you in marriage. I'll just flip it. That's all. That

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Speaker 1: is why we got to commit to you. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: take you for granted here. We ain't married to you.

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Speaker 1: You can't make us do nothing. We're not married. And

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Speaker 1: you keep saying your life couldn't be couldn't be more complicated.

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Speaker 1: It would be a lot more complicated if you was married.

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Speaker 1: For many years now, he has not paid any attention

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Speaker 1: to me. That's because you're not his queen. Let me

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Speaker 1: go in the house and not pay attention to the

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Speaker 1: queen of that house and see how long I'll be

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Speaker 1: standing up. But that tell me I'm the damn king.

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Speaker 1: For many years now, he has not paying attention to

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Speaker 1: me when he's home. He loves his video games, and

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Speaker 1: that's what he pay attention to. All you gotta do

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Speaker 1: to know where you're staying with him? Man, what do

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Speaker 1: he pay attention to if he don't pay attention to you? What? What?

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Speaker 1: But you say he loves his video game? Sitting on

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Speaker 1: that staying at that screen, though, ain't he? That's what

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Speaker 1: he loves. We rarely go out to dinner for what

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Speaker 1: ain't you eating at the house? Hello? And we've never

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Speaker 1: been on vacation after twenty one years, and you're not

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Speaker 1: going anywhere. Listen to this right here, y'all ain't been

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Speaker 1: nowhere because he has no plans of this going anywhere. Oh,

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Speaker 1: listen to me, ladies. When a man don't care you nowhere,

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Speaker 1: it's because he don't see this going nowhere, do you.

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Speaker 1: I'm teaching you how men are that's part that hurts me.

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Speaker 1: If I'm carrying you know where, it's because he don't

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Speaker 1: see this going nowhere. Bam, news flash, print it, put

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Speaker 1: it on Twitter. It's like I'm roommates with my best

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Speaker 1: friend that I grew up with. That's a great analogy,

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Speaker 1: because that's exactly what you are. I want to call

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Speaker 1: it quits. Okay, now we're okay, Now we're getting down

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Speaker 1: to it. But I don't know how. Well, won't you

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Speaker 1: just do what he's been doing? Nothing? Because he paid

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Speaker 1: your attention in years, he's been off and on. He

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Speaker 1: don't want to get married. So now all you gotta

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Speaker 1: do is take everything he's done and just do it

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Speaker 1: to him. Stop paying him attention, stop wanting to go

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Speaker 1: out to dinner with him, Free yourself from the loser,

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Speaker 1: and I bet you a winner come long and want

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Speaker 1: to take you out to eat and probably take you somewhere.

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Speaker 1: You ain't even been on a vacation, your grown ass woman,

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Speaker 1: ain't never been on vacation one years, thirty six years old.

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Speaker 1: You ain't never seen where y'all live, North Carolina. You

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Speaker 1: ain't been the South Carolina. Yours ain't been the South Carolina. Damn,

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Speaker 1: that's a damn. You live in. You live in, You

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Speaker 1: live in Florida. Ain't been to the beach. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: out there. We'll just drive over that man. Well, he

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Speaker 1: don't take me. No, Uh, I don't know how it

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Speaker 1: should be easy, right since I don't have to divorce him.

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Speaker 1: How do I end things with my best friend, lover

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Speaker 1: and father of my children. Let's just go over these

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Speaker 1: three things that you're claiming. Is he's your best friend,

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Speaker 1: he treats you like your best friend, or you claiming

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Speaker 1: him as your best friend. You need some new friends

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Speaker 1: because you don't know what best friends do. Best friends

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Speaker 1: care about each other. He's your lover, he ain't paid

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Speaker 1: attention to you in years. So even if y'all do

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Speaker 1: get to love it, ain't it all just about him? Hello?

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Speaker 1: And he's your father of your children, which he will

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Speaker 1: always be. Eat that ain't gonna change now. You make

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Speaker 1: him continue to be the father that's for damn show.

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Speaker 1: But the best friend and the lover he out. That's

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Speaker 1: my response, Strawberry. Let him kiss it. We got we

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Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. Email us us. Your thoughts

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Speaker 1: go to uh my girls, Shirley. Okay, jeez, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Game Harvey Morning Show