WEBVTT - The D Word

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. Okay, KB,

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<v Speaker 1>did you hear?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, obviously you're in country music, so you're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>see the headline. Bunny XO addresses divorce from jelly Roll

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<v Speaker 2>on her podcast Did you listen to?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I listened to pieces of the podcast I did

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<v Speaker 1>with you.

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<v Speaker 2>I hate saying because I don't like it when people

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<v Speaker 2>just listen to pieces of our podcast, because I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like you have to listen to the whole context. But

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<v Speaker 2>there were so many things that I didn't I did

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<v Speaker 2>go into the comments when I found out that when

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<v Speaker 2>I saw the breaking headline that they were getting divorced,

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<v Speaker 2>and people were like, oh, it's because he's getting sued,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, what is happening now?

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<v Speaker 3>There's so many parts of this. I had no idea.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I started to kind of do a little

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<v Speaker 2>deep dive when I was trying to go to sleep

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<v Speaker 2>the other day. And I'm honestly confused by the situation.

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<v Speaker 2>But what I will say something that came up because

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<v Speaker 2>I want to hear your thoughts on it. But she

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<v Speaker 2>had She admitted that she told jelly Roll to file

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<v Speaker 2>for divorce out of anger and frustration, not because she

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<v Speaker 2>truly wanted their relationship to end. And I know someone

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<v Speaker 2>that that happened to where she said, like fine, file

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<v Speaker 2>for divorce, and then the person ended up filing for

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<v Speaker 2>divorce and then it was that like blindside of I

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<v Speaker 2>can't believe he actually did it. And you know, for

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<v Speaker 2>for Alan and I, the D word is like it's

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<v Speaker 2>out of the vocabulary, like we can't we can't have

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<v Speaker 2>it because I'm I'm how do I say this? There's

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<v Speaker 2>a piece of me that if he's says it, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>be like fine, Like because if I'm angry enough in

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<v Speaker 2>a situation, even if it's not what I want, like

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<v Speaker 2>I could. I don't think at the end of the day,

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<v Speaker 2>I would ever. But like when you are that angry

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<v Speaker 2>and someone's like file for divorce, I find it so

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<v Speaker 2>disrespectful that it's almost like yeah, all right, fine, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and I I just think it's such a dus And

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<v Speaker 2>I'll say this. The reason that it's like a no

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<v Speaker 2>go and no saying it is because in my last

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<v Speaker 2>relationship we said it. I said it so many times,

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<v Speaker 2>but then like didn't follow up on it. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's like a it's a trigger.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's funny because to me, so we never once

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<v Speaker 4>have we ever in our marriage and and I would agree.

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<v Speaker 4>I remember the one time when I was young where

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<v Speaker 4>my dad said it to my mom. I can remember

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<v Speaker 4>in the moment listen, so tumultuous, so many heightened emotions

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<v Speaker 4>all of the time growing up, but I remember that

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<v Speaker 4>one time, like I could go back there in my

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<v Speaker 4>brain in a second, because to me, they it was

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<v Speaker 4>like they were always going to be together. So I'm

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<v Speaker 4>such a We do not do the D word ever.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean even in the height of like marital heartbreak

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<v Speaker 4>in our marriage.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's not even anything juicy.

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<v Speaker 4>It's just that this industry, and this is why I

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<v Speaker 4>think I feel for both of them so much, because

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<v Speaker 4>this industry is just hard.

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<v Speaker 3>It's hard to have a connection in. I mean, we

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<v Speaker 3>go through that.

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<v Speaker 4>We're in the height of that for our marriage right now,

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<v Speaker 4>because it's summer, right like you have to be so

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<v Speaker 4>we have to be so diligent and so intentional about

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<v Speaker 4>connecting with each other because he's rarely here. So the

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<v Speaker 4>D word is one hundred percent off the table in

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<v Speaker 4>our home.

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<v Speaker 3>But more so, I think what.

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<v Speaker 4>I hate is that they ever got to a heightened

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<v Speaker 4>place where it felt like that was all that was

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<v Speaker 4>left to say, right, And and for me, it's such

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<v Speaker 4>a like if I was to ever say it, or

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<v Speaker 4>he was to ever say it to me, it's like

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<v Speaker 4>the start of disrespecting the marriage. Yeah, and it like

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<v Speaker 4>being an option, right.

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<v Speaker 2>And like my childhood wounds is like abandonment. So like

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<v Speaker 2>if he was to say that it hit, it would

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<v Speaker 2>hit such an abandonment wound in me that I would

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<v Speaker 2>then start to feel unsafe. And so that's where it's

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<v Speaker 2>like we that like we we just we no matter

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<v Speaker 2>how angry we will, we will ever get we cannot

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<v Speaker 2>say that because it hits. And it's hard because some

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<v Speaker 2>he might be an escapist who wants to just escape

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<v Speaker 2>right when he's wounded and he's triggered. But like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I just think being able to not use that say

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<v Speaker 2>those words is so important. And I mean because look,

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<v Speaker 2>in this instance, she's saying I didn't actually want to,

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<v Speaker 2>but that's what came out and then he did. And

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<v Speaker 2>then that to me is like whiplash, you know, right,

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<v Speaker 2>because it's like.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no, never mind, I don't want it. That's

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<v Speaker 1>not what I wanted, you.

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<v Speaker 3>Know, you also want to know that you can in

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<v Speaker 3>a marriage.

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<v Speaker 4>You and I both sure know you want to be

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<v Speaker 4>able to be able to say, like, marriage is not easy,

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<v Speaker 4>and you have to know that you're fighting for each

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<v Speaker 4>other and with each other all of the time, and

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<v Speaker 4>sometimes someone might carry a little more weight in the

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<v Speaker 4>fighting and some may not but than the other one.

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<v Speaker 4>But I feel like, specifically for like the.

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<v Speaker 3>Way you and I are wired, like I.

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<v Speaker 4>Need to know that, like this can get really freaking

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<v Speaker 4>hard and you're not going to bail.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's interesting because she said in passing that he's

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<v Speaker 2>already dating since they're split, So to me, that feels

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<v Speaker 2>like he was already one foot out. Like if you're

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<v Speaker 2>that fast moved on from just divorce it or just

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<v Speaker 2>filing in May, that then makes me go, okay, well

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<v Speaker 2>then he was ready.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know there was infidelity too, didn't he?

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<v Speaker 1>She downe her years ago.

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<v Speaker 4>I think the latest was twenty Maybe she just said

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<v Speaker 4>it in twenty twenty five, because.

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<v Speaker 2>From my understanding was that it happened like way before

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<v Speaker 2>the record deal, way before all of that.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to get clarification. I did. I felt like

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<v Speaker 3>it was maybe they just talked about it last year.

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<v Speaker 2>That could be court, but they're still expecting a baby

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<v Speaker 2>via surrogate and planned a co parent.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm confused.

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<v Speaker 1>Could you do that?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, here's what I'll say, And I felt this way.

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<v Speaker 4>I felt this a way a lot about you and Mike.

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<v Speaker 4>Remember I kept saying to you guys, I think you'll

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<v Speaker 4>just be better. I think you guys will end up

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<v Speaker 4>being really good friends, really good co parents. Well no,

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<v Speaker 4>I just said you would be better off as friends.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I felt like with yes, yes, valid, valid, Yeah, the.

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<v Speaker 4>Way that you guys operated, you had you had this

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<v Speaker 4>kind of like unspoken enough respect for each other. I

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<v Speaker 4>know we're going to go loosely on that one. We

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<v Speaker 4>don't need a deep dive, but Jianna squints for those

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<v Speaker 4>of you that won't see.

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<v Speaker 3>The clip of that. But I just feel like you

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<v Speaker 3>guys would be better.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no more respect on the co parent side of

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<v Speaker 2>things than our yes.

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<v Speaker 4>Right right, Like, I just there was something about the

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<v Speaker 4>way you connected that was obviously to me.

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<v Speaker 2>It was you stop tiptoeing, just go we don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to tiptoeing.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, So I feel like for them, that's what I

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<v Speaker 4>hear out of her but I also hear out of

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<v Speaker 4>her the fact that she didn't really even want this

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<v Speaker 4>in the first place. So I think all of this

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<v Speaker 4>feels like a really beautiful idea right now, but what

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<v Speaker 4>will that look like when it actually happens is probably

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<v Speaker 4>my biggest fear, because I think the co parenting and

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<v Speaker 4>the having I mean, he speaks of him so highly.

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<v Speaker 4>Her words about him was so precious, like, but then

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<v Speaker 4>what happens when there's a baby.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, and another relationship and somebody else in there, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>someone else that might be raising the baby with her.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it can That's the part that to me,

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<v Speaker 2>I think would be hard, complicated and fast complicated. Yes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but it does make me again, I just want everyone

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<v Speaker 2>to be happy. I always I get sad and excited

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<v Speaker 2>for people when they get divorced. You know, It's like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sad because I know the heartbreak, but I'm happy

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<v Speaker 2>because they're going to get what they really truly deserve

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<v Speaker 2>and the love and the happiness and the freedom.

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<v Speaker 3>And the and Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>But even what you know, even what Jelly Rul said

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<v Speaker 4>on stage, he just recently spoke about it at a

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<v Speaker 4>com I saw that, yeah, and he just was so

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<v Speaker 4>also so kind and so mutual respect about it, and

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<v Speaker 4>like there's nothing to know and this isn't dramatic and.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you understand the lossit thing though, because I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't and I'd just be rumors too, which is

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<v Speaker 2>so I don't want to speak to it if it

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<v Speaker 2>is enough to speak on that.

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<v Speaker 4>But well, the bigger you get, right, the bigger the platform,

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<v Speaker 4>the bigger the problems, the bigger the noise. And I

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<v Speaker 4>feel like they have seen each other through so many

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<v Speaker 4>wild years.

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<v Speaker 1>M h.

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<v Speaker 4>I think I just feel sad because I'm so rooting

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<v Speaker 4>for them because of their story that I don't want

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<v Speaker 4>any marriage to end, but specifically when they can be

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<v Speaker 4>so remember when Kat and Nick.

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<v Speaker 3>We're gonna get divorced for a minute.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And the way they spoke about each other was

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<v Speaker 4>so sweet and so profound that I was like, I

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<v Speaker 4>just don't think this is gonna happen. I have that

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<v Speaker 4>secret tucked away prayer. I know it's probably ridiculous and

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<v Speaker 4>probably too far, but to have the mutual admiration they

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<v Speaker 4>have for each other is just really special.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I agree with you and Hathaway.

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<v Speaker 2>She's focused on family, preparing for baby number three and

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<v Speaker 2>all I'll say to this is when she's forty three

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<v Speaker 2>years old. The first thought was I can still have

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<v Speaker 2>a baby, Like I was like, maybe I can have that.

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<v Speaker 1>I always had that pull to have one more?

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<v Speaker 3>Would you do it?

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<v Speaker 1>Well? She gives me hope.

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<v Speaker 3>All say she does and she has a big gap too.

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<v Speaker 2>There needs to be go time right now, log off

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>We've gotver to do.

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<v Speaker 4>I just feel like, I'll say, you know, it's funny.

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<v Speaker 4>I have a girlfriend of mine who just had a

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<v Speaker 4>baby at forty five, and I had that same feeling.

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<v Speaker 4>I will say, coming into the half the forty four

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<v Speaker 4>and a half, I feel now like I can say

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<v Speaker 4>the ship is sailed for sure. But it is kind

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<v Speaker 4>of wild that we get to have It's really sweet

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<v Speaker 4>to me that we get to have these opportunities to even

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<v Speaker 4>think about it in our forties, because I didn't, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>like I was forty one when I had the baby,

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<v Speaker 4>and I wouldn't think that another round was even an

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<v Speaker 4>option for us. So it's really you're creamer. You could

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<v Speaker 4>sneak another one in before like forty four for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>All Right, Well, on that note, let's.

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing to see here, friends, Dabower.

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<v Speaker 1>Week's episode of Headlines. One day, maybe we'll be back

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<v Speaker 1>in there. Oye oh yoi oh I love you, See

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<v Speaker 1>you next week.

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<v Speaker 3>Bye friend.