WEBVTT - EXCLUSIVE: Hannah Ann Interview, Part 2 0:00:02.080 --> 0:00:04.840 All right, match are happy our listeners, we still have 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:08.080 Hannah and here part two is dropping now, so here 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:11.840 is the rest of that conversation. Let's dive in. So 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:14.120 after the engagement goes down, you know, you guys are 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.920 together for a few days. I'm assuming at that point 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.599 it was good. Obviously you knew he had probably been 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:25.840 struggling a little bit. But how you had how many 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:27.800 happy couple of times to get which and for the 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.640 listeners who don't know happy couple, it's a weekend where 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:33.760 they fly the couple out to la You stay in 0:00:33.800 --> 0:00:36.240 a house for a few days to do couple things 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:37.840 and to get to know each other because you can't 0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:40.640 be in public. So how many of those weekends that 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.400 you have together? We had, I believe a total of 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:48.239 three including Australia. Okay. And when you guys are in 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.159 those moments, I'm assuming you were talking about the future 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:55.040 and making plans about were looking into you know, moving 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:58.680 in together, looking hand apartments. I mean, we were serious 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:02.920 and really it was just when the season started was 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:07.320 when I started, you know, to feel his hesitation, and 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.080 that didn't sit well with me. But there again, he 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:13.800 was giving me those words of affirmation. To keep me there. 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:16.160 I'm not a dumbass. I'm not just going to stay 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:19.120 with someone, you know, just because of a commitment and 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.319 just because I want them. No, he was giving me 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.760 those words of affirmation that kept me there, that kept 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:27.959 you know, that fueled me to be like, Okay, I'm 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:30.039 going to fight for this. You know, yes we're in 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.319 an you know, yes we're in an abnormal circumstance, but 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:35.040 you know what, I made this commitment and I love 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:36.560 you and I'm going to fight for you. You You know, 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:40.440 That's where all that came from. Did after the season started, 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:43.319 did y'all have another happy couple couple's weekend? Or was 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:45.160 the first time y'all saw each other after the season 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:48.360 started when the breakup happened. We had a happy couple 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:53.080 the end of December and in January, and then the 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.080 last one was when we broke up. And that was 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.000 like a whole month of not seeing each other, which 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.520 is a lot of why he blamed how he was 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:03.880 struggling and so walking into that day, you know, I 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:05.720 even have a voicemail from him saying, you know, I 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:08.560 love you, can't wait to see you, And going into 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:09.880 that day, you know, I knew it was going to 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:13.680 be a tough conversation, and we both even said we 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:17.240 will move past this. We will, you know, overcome this 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:20.239 as a couple, you know. And was that the first 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:22.280 time y'all had the cameras at the Happy Couple Week? Yes, 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.239 so when you saw the cameras, what did you think? 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:29.000 I knew something was up, but there again, you know, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.799 through text messages and voicemails, I trusted his word. And 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.160 you know, obviously I'm happy how things ended. I mean, gosh, 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.240 it's miserable with them. I mean I was miserable. Really, Yeah, 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.800 once January started, or once once January started, because the 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:45.880 whole wishy washiness started, and I was just like, I 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:48.560 need someone who knows who they are, who knows what 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.000 they want, and who's not going to be with someone 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:55.600 just because their mom told him to. How I remember 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.760 being in those moments? How bad was your anxiety in 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:00.919 that struggle? Because when you can't be with your partner 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.400 and your states away and you know someone struggling, and 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:07.040 that was that was so hard. And you know, I 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:09.360 was probably the most anxious that I've ever been because 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:12.200 you want to make this relationship work, you want to 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:15.040 just be normal with your partner and you can't. And 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:18.880 so how did you deal with that? How I dealt 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.280 with it was I was just focusing on you know, 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:24.240 forward thinking, thinking of the big picture, thinking of us 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:26.880 ending this together, and the words he was feeding me, 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:28.800 you know, we will get through this together. You know 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:32.040 we will. You know, you're my fiance. I love you. 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:33.640 You know you're the love of my life. That's what 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:36.920 fed me, you know, to continue this forward with him, 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:40.040 all of us would have, yeah, get into that. I mean, 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.040 he's my fiance, you know, this is a relationship, he's 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:46.840 my partner. I trust his words, and you know I 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:51.400 fell for it, and you know, showing up to the breakup, 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.240 I'm like, huh these cameras. But we still made that 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:55.240 commitment that we were going to, you know, work through it. 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:58.040 And you know, when he actually sat down and told 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:01.960 me more of half of the truth he's been telling me, 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:03.800 which she couldn't give me a full heart, I was like, 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.720 I'm topping out. Sorry, I gotta go back to Hannah 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:10.920 Brown because you brought it up at tonight and far 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:14.400 so it's because it's a huge that bothered you. Yeah, 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.400 And then in talking about it tonight, I guess I 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:19.039 still feel like I don't understand. I know he said 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:21.200 that he reached out or wanted to talk to her 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:24.560 for closure, but how did y'all in that? Were you 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:28.200 just like okay, yes, talk to her? Did you ask again, hey, 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.479 have you talked to her? Like what? Okay? He said 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.919 it to you? But then what the reason why that 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:37.200 was brought up is because it wasn't just one woman 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:40.080 involved that we were having to discuss. It was, you know, 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:43.080 he proposed to me still being in love with Madison 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:46.560 and still needing closure with Hannah Brown, completely blindsided to that. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.560 There's three women involved in this, and that was brought 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:53.960 up because that was a huge part of our relationship 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.760 of him trying to convince me that he needed closure, 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:00.240 and then I should be understanding of that, and I'm like, hush, 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.400 but that's what I want to talk about, is him 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:06.440 trying to convince you? Yeah? Yeah, like help us understand that, 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:10.160 like what, I don't necessarily need to understand what he 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:13.200 was saying to you to convince you. But how did that? 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.680 Did he say, oh, I talk to her? Or were 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:17.560 you did you say, okay, I give you my blessing? 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:19.960 Did you ever follow up? And say have you talked 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:23.360 to her? What happened? Are you good? They on some 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.520 level had communicated, and he came to me saying, you know, 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:29.240 I need to speak with Hannah Brown because I need closure. 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.640 And I'm like, well, why do you need closure? Like 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.680 why you're engaged? Yeah? And I was like, wait, didn't 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:37.200 you have that on this show? I should? We should 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:41.839 probably watch this episode. Once I watched the episode, I'm like, well, 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.760 where do your feelings stand. He's like, well, we're engaged, 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.600 but I you know, we both just need me and 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:48.960 Handa Brown both just need closure. And I'm just like, okay, 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.560 well can I is this in person? Is this on 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:54.880 and off camera? No? Off camera? I'm like okay, Um, 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:58.719 I kind of feel uncomfortable after watching that last episode 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:00.719 and now you're saying you need closure. That kind of 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:03.279 doesn't really sit well with me. We're engaged, Like, we're 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:06.480 not just dating, we're engaged. So what happened? How did 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:09.520 it end? It ended in him saying that he needed 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.360 it and that I needed to support him, and I'm 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.360 just like, um, I don't know how I quite feel 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:16.520 about that. And then shortly after that that was where 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:20.360 the whole we were shifted to our other issue of 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:24.120 him feeling like he had unresolved issues in regards to 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:27.200 watching the show. So there was so many issues going on. 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.240 I'm just I was miserable. I'm just like trying to 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:32.240 figure out who can I talk to? Who can I 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:37.240 like figure out like am I just being am I 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:41.240 being too sensitive? Or am I you know, not being 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.800 treated how I deserved? No? Okay, coming to somebody who 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:48.880 has been in your shoes. There are so many weird 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.520 factors to sort of this sort of relationship where you 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.159 don't know where to turn and to add in all 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:58.040 these added things. Hannah Brown shouldn't have even been an 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:00.920 issue at that point. That usual, I shouldn't haven't been 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.360 in an argument at that point. And as this is 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.920 like the season's going on, like how about checking up 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.400 on how I'm doing, how I'm feeling? And then you're 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.160 just having all these issues, you know, seeing Madison in 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:13.520 your first day, seeing Hannah Brown, now you need to 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:15.880 talk to her. It's like Colly like, do you think 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:17.640 he part of my own rock? Do you think part 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:21.880 of him still loved Hannah Brown? And in that moment, yeah, 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:26.000 I think he had unresolved back then or still in January. 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:29.240 I think still in January when he was with you, Yeah, 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:31.920 and that was the argument. And did he say that 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.640 he was in love with her? Okay, he just said 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:36.880 he needed to talk with her. And I'm just like, what, 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:42.480 like we're engaged, Like I thought, yeah, that we've moved. 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:44.440 I thought you've moved past all of that. Like I've 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:47.440 been completely blindsided, Like here I am. I don't need 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:51.960 to be contacting two x's about having closure, like I'm here, 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:55.119 I'm ready for you, and like although I wasn't able 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:57.840 to see the whole season, like the audiences now, like 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.720 I was blindsided to any of this. Well, and you 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:05.000 should have been his number one priority. That's where his 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:09.320 heart and his worry and his attention should have lied 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.400 tether it should have lied should like whatever, Yeah you 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:16.640 know grammar here, but but you should have been the 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:19.160 number one priority in his life. And it seems like 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:21.840 multiple things were taken that away. And I feel free 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.320 because I get that. And it's such a shitty feeling. 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.640 And where you say you wanted to be that sport system, 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:29.680 you wanted to get through together and like you as 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.520 a woman in this position, it's like you still hurt 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:34.400 and you still struggle, but you don't know who to 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.640 talk to because you can't talk to most people about it, 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:40.480 and if he's struggling, you can't talk to him constantly 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:42.720 about it because he's trying to work through his own shit. 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.080 And so who did you talk to? Who did you 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:49.439 lean on? Really? It was you know what I didn't 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.880 even tell I did not even tell my parents until 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:56.480 after our breakup because I knew deep down my parents 0:08:56.520 --> 0:09:00.320 would said get out and run, Yeah, run for the hills, 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:04.920 dodge that bullet. So no one really, I mean, I 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.600 was trying to, you know, for me. I made that 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:09.160 commitment to him, and I thought we were going to 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.400 be teammates, like this is what we work through together. 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:15.679 This shouldn't divide us, this should make us stronger. And 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.640 that was kind of what I always tried to do. 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:21.640 And you know, in a breakup, I said, you know, 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:24.600 this has to be fifty fifty and I haven't been 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.840 feeling that. You made a comment during that breakup and 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:30.360 I loved it because it's stuck with me. You said 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:32.480 I am my own rock, And in that moment, I 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:34.520 was sitting there like yes, girl, Like if you're not 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:36.600 getting what you need in this relationship and he can't 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.480 promise all of the things he has told you. You 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:41.360 have to be your own rock. And so yeah, good 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:43.679 for you. I mean, I'm sure that it came as 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:46.319 a blindside and probably one of the hardest breakups because 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.679 it's not easy when you know millions of people are watching. 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.920 But you seem like you still have that strength, and 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.440 so kudos to you like that. I'm very proud of 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.360 you and I and I will say this, like we 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.440 still have much to talk about, but I will say 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:01.679 this is going to be one of the hardest moments 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.600 in your life, but you will be just fine in 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:06.200 the future and have all the faith that you will 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:08.520 like this will only make you stronger and realize what 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:11.960 you truly deserve in a relationship. Yeah, I think you 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.040 already have. You know, we said it at the top 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:17.840 of the podcast, you want Tonight, and not just because 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:21.679 you saw what kind of unraveled after you were on stage, 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:26.440 but just because maybe you had your voice before, but 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.360 we saw you find your voice and you were very 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:32.880 matter of facts and you were very it was like 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.440 you knew exactly what you needed to say and what 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.839 he needed to hear, and he literally couldn't respond to it. 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:41.600 He couldn't defend himself because it was kind of like 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:44.679 you're right, you're right, and you stood up to him 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:46.840 and said, you took these moments away from me that 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.560 I can't get back. But you know what, I'm gonna 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:51.800 be okay because I'm going to get myself through it. 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:53.679 And at the end of the day, that's really what matters, 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:56.200 Like you can't depend on somebody else. You realize, like 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:58.760 in those moments, you realize you're stronger than you think. 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:02.040 So like, kudos to you, I give you a standing ovation. 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:04.480 If we were on TV right now, But like I 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:08.120 think America is going to see how you responded. They 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.080 already are right Like, I'm sure you're trending on Twitter 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.960 as we speak. Oh, people are probably then mowing you 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:16.640 money to buy your own drinks right now. I'm going 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:24.240 to after this podcast, treat yourself. Take yourself that bottle 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:27.640 of champagne because you deserve it. Yeah, I mean, you 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:35.040 call Kelsey. I'm sure she's getting like a champagne for 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:36.960 I think me and Kelsey need to go up for 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:43.160 some champagne later myself. I do have a question though, 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.439 because you did see tonight like you had one moment 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:47.560 and then it was like it was like that was 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:49.680 one half and then the second half it was kind 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:53.920 of what happened after. And I'm pretty sure you saw 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:57.679 how supportive Barb is of you, whether you watched it 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:00.559 last night or you saw tonight, how she was clapping 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.320 every single time we were missing. She mentioned she was 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:06.679 clapping every time you responded to Peter, like against her 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:14.080 own for you, she was she was giving Peterson And 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:18.600 I'm just like, oh, like, so, I think people want 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.280 to know the love that she has for you, and 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:22.400 the love that she has for you is because you 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:27.720 love her son, loved her son unconditionally, and that's all 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.960 a mother really wants to see. And I get they're 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:33.840 not in the relationship and that's a whole and you know, 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:35.720 you and Peter have your own relationship outside of that, 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.040 but that's what a mother wants for her child and 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.640 she saw that in you. Have you talked to Barbe 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:44.760 since then? Tell the truth? And by that I mean 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:50.160 I'm talking ms, I'm talking comments, I'm docking texts Barbe 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:53.320 After a breakup, she definitely reached out a couple of times. 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.760 I ended up. You know, I love Barbe. I do too. 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.720 I honestly I could break down crying just thinking about 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.480 her right now because I miss her so much. But 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:06.160 I knew that forgiveness is the only way forward, and 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.600 I needed to work on leading up to this day 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.240 to forgive Peter and to move forward. And doing that 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:14.800 is you know, isolating myself from anyone close to him. 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:16.880 And I can't you know, continue to talk to Barb 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.160 every day, you know, if I'm trying to move forward 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:23.439 from Peter. And you know, that's been also a heartbreak, 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.920 you know, not being able to you know, be a 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.880 part of Barbe in her life. I mean that's also 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.280 a heartbreak and a breakup and its own self. And 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:35.280 you know, Barb, she's a really special person and she's 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:37.080 just looking out for a son. She just wants someone 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.880 to love her son and you know, to root for 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.400 his own happiness and to you know, be in a 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.720 relationship with him for the right reasons. I love to 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:47.360 hear you say that, because she's getting such a bad 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:52.160 rap because of like I understood where her heart was 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.599 and what she was saying. Maybe she went just a 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.439 little too far, but I know she was coming from 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:03.800 a good place. And are so crazed over Madison that 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.520 nobody is listening to what she's actually saying. So it's 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:10.800 very nice to hear you give a different side, in 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.120 the softer side of her. Becca and I both talked 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:16.240 to Barbe as well. We adore her, Yes, And it's 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:19.160 just a shame kind of what I knew tonight. She 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.120 was being very defensive because of the hate that she's 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.320 receiving online, and she's just trying to tell her side 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:29.400 of it and it's just not being received at all. Yeah, 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.640 I mean quite honestly. I mean this has come from 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:34.680 an ex fiance of Peters, but I mean, you know, 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:38.880 Peter deserves the world and deserves someone that will love 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:41.600 him with their whole heart and be there for the 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:46.080 right reasons. And that's where me and Barbe, you know, connect. Okay, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.760 I'm going to ask you, do you think that that's Madison. 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.800 I don't know her heart. I don't know, I don't 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.680 know if I guess I never really knew if she 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:58.800 loved him or not. I mean, she walked away from him, 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.720 But for me, I love Peter and I was never 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.240 going to leave his side, even through the worst. And 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.280 I think that's what barb'sall in me, and that's what 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:09.320 she you know, That's what any mother wants for their son, 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.920 is someone to be with them, that's gonna unconditionally love him. 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.040 I want to know now since because tonight was the 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:18.760 first time you saw Peter and his family since yeah, 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.040 the end of January, so I can barely look over 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.520 at his family. I knew if I looked at rest family, 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.600 I was just gonna start crying. But how was in 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:30.520 that moment sitting next to him, Yeah, did you still 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:35.160 have those feelings of some sort of lingering love or 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:37.680 are you now to the point I guess I want 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.440 to know where you're at, Like, are you at the 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.760 point where you're like, I wish you the best? I mean, 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:44.800 as much as it sucked, thank you for doing what 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:49.400 you were doing. Yes, yeah, I'll always have, you know, 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:53.080 a special place for him. But I mean, he's betrayed me, 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:59.160 misled me, and that alone has and watching back the season, 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:04.480 that really resolved a lot of like extra feelings I 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:06.800 had for him. I mean, just I'm watching a play 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.960 by play of me getting deceived and that alone, it was, 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.200 you know, a slap in the face, and it's helped 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.760 me move forward, but you know, to be honest, when 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:18.280 I looked over at his family, yeah, I did, you know, 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.440 when I start to cry and just you know, I 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:24.560 felt like, you know, me and Peter just had this 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:30.160 awesome situation and it was like stripped away from me 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.520 so quickly. You know, it was a future that I lost, 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.840 but more importantly, it was the loss of a person 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.400 I thought he was. And I think that's what I'm 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.920 grieving over, is the person I thought he was, you know, 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:44.080 telling me to trust him, and the words he you know, 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:49.440 gave me that I trusted him were completely um. I 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:50.840 don't know if you want to call it lies or 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:53.320 if you just want to call it shallow that we 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:57.000 all thought. Yeah, I mean it's been it's been very difficult. 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.440 I can only imagine. And I think that that's what's 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:02.560 so therapeutic Forbecca to be here in this podcast and 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:04.879 to talk to you, because she knows exactly what it 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.240 is that you're going through. You know, I'm a viewer. 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:09.600 I only watch it and I can only empathize with you. 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:15.479 It's just it's troubling because we talked to Peter before 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.360 the season or while he was still filming, and then 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:22.240 right when the season started, and I remember we were 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:25.800 saying that more than anything for him, we wanted him 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.119 to find love because we know how badly he wanted it, 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:31.680 and we know that he wanted someone to love him unconditionally. 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:33.919 That's what he said, That's what he told us, and 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:38.320 he had it, and then he let it go like 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:42.120 and then he still doesn't have it. I mean, let's 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:43.720 just be honest. I saw what I saw. What I 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.000 saw tonight, he still doesn't have He said it, you 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:48.760 loved him in a way that he has never been 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:52.280 loved before. Well, I would assume that that means the present. 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:57.919 Did he not say that tonight before? I literally you, 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:00.359 I don't know what he is with mathis because we 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:04.400 still didn't get, you know, like a definitive answer. Basically, 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:06.640 he was still saying, you loved him in a way 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.919 that she didn't, and that's what you want it and 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:11.800 you had it, and then you still chase something, which 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:13.879 don't get me started on how I think that's the 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:15.639 issue with man and that's why the bachelors are not 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:18.800 successful because they're always chasing something that they can never get, 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.479 and that's why we only have only had two that 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:27.520 are married at this point and didn't pick the first one. Well, 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:32.240 I don't. I don't play yeah, yes, of course, John's 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:36.520 the like rare, beautiful fight. I don't play the whole 0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:39.320 chasing game. I mean, I understand you can't, you know, 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:42.159 give to a man everything they want. But also at 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.159 the same time, I don't play games either like you 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.520 or I don't you know what I say to you, 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:50.439 I mean, I'm very clear, I'm concise, and I expect 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:58.720 that a return. Yeah, that's my standards. Yeats, just be 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.120 honest with me. I'm gonna be honest with you back 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:04.199 you guys girls on this show all they want is 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:09.280 honestly why they don't drag me along. And that's what's 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:12.800 so troubling about what happened this season is, Peter, you 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:17.240 came from a season where the lead all she wanted 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:22.960 was to be loved and loved unconditionally and me, it's not. 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:31.520 And you came. Peter came from a season where there 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:33.040 was a lead who was saying, I just want to 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.560 be loved and I want someone to give that to 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:38.320 me unconditionally, and Peter gave that to her. And then 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:41.720 she chose Jit, which I can just put a period there. 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:44.560 We all know what came with that, and I would 0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:47.600 think that going through that hurt that you come into 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:49.720 your season saying I want to make sure that I 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.760 don't make that same mistake, and here you are. It 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:55.440 sucks to be in a place of wondering and here 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:58.600 he is in a place where now it's like unknown, 0:19:58.800 --> 0:20:01.800 you don't know, you're one wondering and with you he 0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:04.800 didn't have that. And what also message makes me so 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:08.720 upset is when we talk to him, he said, remember this, Becca, 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:13.320 you know who did you first? Two things? Who did 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:15.040 you pick? Because he was still with you at this point, 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:17.520 and I think we're like, who did you pick? Like 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:20.439 trying to I can't tell you. Then he said we 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:22.720 might have said did you always know? We talked about 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:26.320 like our own situation, and he said he has known 0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:29.800 since week four who his person was? Well, he was 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:32.760 with you. Yeah, like the season. I don't even think 0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:34.679 an episode when we filmed it, an episode had not 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:37.560 aired yet, so he was talking about you. So you 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:40.399 have known from week four. There are nine ten weeks 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:43.920 of filming, So for what how do the math? Six 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:46.360 weeks you knew exactly who it was that you were 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:50.280