Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to season three eighteen, episode
Speaker 1: four of Dear Day's Eye Guys Day production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: This is the half assed schools out Teachers Showing Movies
Speaker 1: episode of the Daily zeit Geist. It's the last episode
Speaker 1: we recorded the year, last main episode we're still gonna
Speaker 1: be releasing. Other episodes were recorded earlier over the coming days.
Speaker 1: We're still gonna take a deep dive into America's share consciousness.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, We're just gonna not give as much of
Speaker 1: a shit while we do it. I think, as generally
Speaker 1: the energy. We're not really talking about the news. We're
Speaker 1: talking Christmas. We got the Christmas fever. Baby, It's Thursday,
Speaker 1: December twenty first, twenty twenty three. It's Solstice Thursday twenty
Speaker 1: December twenty first, twenty twenty three at seven twenty seven pm.
Speaker 2: Which zone.
Speaker 1: I don't know, cos I just realize that I didn't.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be the fuck around we don't give a
Speaker 1: shit episode if I had actually looked up which times though,
Speaker 1: it just celebrate it on every one of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the people who are New Year's completests, and they
Speaker 1: do every striking of midnight around the world.
Speaker 2: Oh, just like every hour on the hour until every
Speaker 2: time zone has observed it. Oh yeah, wow, all.
Speaker 1: That's fun, right, that's a fun little celebration for people
Speaker 1: who are alcoholics. Just need to drink every hour on
Speaker 1: the hour for all of New Year's son.
Speaker 2: I want to line up twenty four different people to kiss.
Speaker 2: Are there even? Are there twenty four time zones? I
Speaker 2: guess I've never really thought about this.
Speaker 1: I think there are. I think I have thought about
Speaker 1: that only because of kids, because they're fascinated by time zones.
Speaker 1: And I know that China has one big time zone.
Speaker 1: But for the most part, I think the world is
Speaker 1: divided evenly into twenty four time zone.
Speaker 2: Okay, makes sense.
Speaker 1: Right, shouldn't it.
Speaker 2: I think so if a day is twenty four, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't know whatever. Anyway, we can't even know, and
Speaker 2: we can't no way of knowing. The point is, I'm
Speaker 2: going to line up, however many time zones there are
Speaker 2: Planet Earth. I'm gonna line up that many people and
Speaker 2: kiss each one.
Speaker 1: Just give them a big kiss for a New Year's
Speaker 1: sloppy kiss. Oh, you're gonna get so much COVID. You're
Speaker 1: gonna get all the kinds of COVID, Baby amazing tasted,
Speaker 1: I'm boosted, Miles and Jack got mad boosted. Uh well,
Speaker 1: my name is Jack O'Brien aka on the twelfth day
Speaker 1: of Chris Missas that guys gave to me twelve plumpers plumping,
Speaker 1: eleven songs for Miles, ten tweets I'm liking, nine trends,
Speaker 1: a trend in, eight direct ridgibles, seven turtles in Tuna,
Speaker 1: six Lambo's got to Santa University, four cole gas mentioned,
Speaker 1: three Wexler soodes, two giants balls, and my Jens covered
Speaker 1: in p P That is courtesy a Fighter of the Nightman,
Speaker 1: the AKA to end all. Aka's so much in there,
Speaker 1: so much in there, a lot to unpack, a lot
Speaker 1: to unpack, and we're not gonna okay, like it's a
Speaker 1: Christmas present. Somebody retweeted the moment from Wet Hot American
Speaker 1: Summer where I think it's Muchael show Waltzer's character is like,
Speaker 1: what an interesting way to wrap a present because in
Speaker 1: movies they just have the lid of a box wrapped
Speaker 1: and then the bottom of the box wrapped because that, yeah,
Speaker 1: because they don't want to do multiple where they have to,
Speaker 1: you know, rewrap. The prisoner have multiple things wrapped, so
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, I just lifted off because we hot.
Speaker 1: American Summer was a many take operation that David Wayne
Speaker 1: is like Kubrick regular five takes, David Fincher, anyone named David,
Speaker 1: any filmmaker named David is going to be a real
Speaker 1: pain in the asses NonStop. I'm thrilled to be joined
Speaker 1: in my second seat by a very talented writer, stand
Speaker 1: up comedian, podcast host of The Bechdel Cast, which takes
Speaker 1: down the patriarchy one movie at a time. They also
Speaker 1: happen to have a master's degree in film and the
Speaker 1: most anagrammable name in the English language. It's Caitlin de Roda.
Speaker 2: I wish I had a good anagram that was holiday themed,
Speaker 2: but I don't.
Speaker 1: Well. Nine tit Dracula is the original holiday themes. Dracona
Speaker 1: celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, yeah they do.
Speaker 1: That's the ninth day of Christmas in Many nine to
Speaker 1: drug cute. Yeah, how are.
Speaker 2: You, Caitlin, I'm doing rather well. It's a rainy day
Speaker 2: here in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: It is a rainy day in Los Angeles, and that
Speaker 1: means that the city you just wake up to the
Speaker 1: sound of sirens and the whole day you if you
Speaker 1: have to drive that day, the city will be trying
Speaker 1: to kill you that entire day because people don't know
Speaker 1: how to drive in wet weather in LA. And also
Speaker 1: I don't blame it all on the people. Also, there
Speaker 1: is this fine dirt that accumulates onto everything because it
Speaker 1: never rains that it's just everything is dusty and dirty
Speaker 1: as fuck, and when it gets wet, it turns very slippery.
Speaker 1: So it's a it's a very dangerous condition. And you
Speaker 1: just hear police sirens all days. People's bodies are collected
Speaker 1: around the city. Is it terrifying? So be careful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will rain, i will rein out indoor activity in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. I'll just be like, yeah, we're not going
Speaker 1: to the museum today because it's LA and it's because.
Speaker 2: You have to still get to the museum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Anyways, Caitlin, thank you for joining for the
Speaker 1: Fuck Around episode. Happy to be here, our biggest fuck
Speaker 1: around co host. We had to have you, and then
Speaker 1: of course the number one fuck around. Now that's not
Speaker 1: really true. The writer of this very show, along with
Speaker 1: Miles and I and our guests, write their own material,
Speaker 1: but this is the one that you don't get to
Speaker 1: hear from very often. Well, we have a very special
Speaker 1: Christmas treat for you because he's our guest today. It's
Speaker 1: jam McNabb.
Speaker 3: Hey, happy holidays, bringing it back, And you couldn't say
Speaker 3: happy holidays anymore.
Speaker 1: They did say that, And sorry I sounded mad when
Speaker 1: I said your name. I didn't mean to sound agree.
Speaker 3: Well, you gave it such a build up. It sounded
Speaker 3: like you were gonna say, like.
Speaker 1: Santa, Santa fucking clause him very self and it's just me,
Speaker 1: him very self. What. Yeah, So this is the end
Speaker 1: of the road for me. I'm dying. No, this is
Speaker 1: the end of the This is just the end of
Speaker 1: a long the Christmas episodes, we record a lot of them,
Speaker 1: so we're like doing three days, four days in some cases,
Speaker 1: and my words stopped stop working, and so my words
Speaker 1: stop working.
Speaker 3: People people don't know this, but we record the whole
Speaker 3: year in advance and just kind of passing December.
Speaker 1: Damn is he guess? Guess is right a lot of
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, who's the no st Yeah.
Speaker 2: Domas was like the guy who like like predicted everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he has a he has a great brand. For
Speaker 1: being wrong about fucking everything. Like the branding around Astro
Speaker 1: Damas is crazy because he would just be like, the
Speaker 1: sun will engulf the King of England in front of
Speaker 1: all of us, and people are like, well, kind of it.
Speaker 1: There was a sunny day this year and the King
Speaker 1: of England probably was out in the sun too much. Anyways, Jam,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get to know you a little bit better. Okay.
Speaker 1: We're also going to tell the listeners a couple of
Speaker 1: things we're talking about. It is traditional for this Christmas
Speaker 1: episode to talk about Christmas gifts, Christmas presents we liked,
Speaker 1: when we like some of our favorites. We also like
Speaker 1: to talk about Christmas movies. I'm gonna keep hammering my
Speaker 1: point that Christmas movie is not horny enough. We'll discuss
Speaker 1: Home Alone fan theories, we'll discuss horny Christmas songs, just
Speaker 1: all around Christmas. Horniness seems to be the theme that
Speaker 1: has come up. But before that, we're gonna talk about
Speaker 1: Christmas paganness because a lot of Christmas traditions, as Caitlin
Speaker 1: has pointed out, come from pagan and that is how
Speaker 1: you say that sentence. So we're gonna talk about that. Uh, huh,
Speaker 1: plenty more. But first JM. We do like to ask
Speaker 1: our guests, what is something from your search history that
Speaker 1: isn't porn, that isn't orange.
Speaker 3: Okay, you're gonna have to give me a minute, Okay,
Speaker 3: keep it out, scrolling back. I looked through my search
Speaker 3: history and it was it made me realize how kind
Speaker 3: of irrelevant and sad and how like I have no
Speaker 3: interior life of my own because it was all stuff
Speaker 3: for work or stuff that I searched for my kids,
Speaker 3: because my kids are always asking me to search stuff,
Speaker 3: and so I was I've been trying to keep things
Speaker 3: holiday related. So one thing they were asking me about
Speaker 3: is they've had a lot of questions about Santa this year,
Speaker 3: and like the other day.
Speaker 1: Like starting to get suspicious, no more.
Speaker 3: Just inquisitive, like questions that I didn't even really foresee,
Speaker 3: like going into it now that.
Speaker 1: They're a little older.
Speaker 3: Like the other day at breakfast, out of nowhere, my
Speaker 3: five year old just said, is Santa a God?
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, it's a great question. I
Speaker 1: think the answer is probably if you're gonna take it that, like,
Speaker 1: if you're going to insist that Santa is real, then
Speaker 1: technically kind of they have to be right.
Speaker 3: Well, it makes sense because we're also like, it's we
Speaker 3: have the Santa narrative, but we're also constantly telling them that,
Speaker 3: like we don't believe in a god and aren't religious.
Speaker 3: It's like, at a certain point, I think they're like, well,
Speaker 3: why don't you just structure your belief system around like
Speaker 3: this guy that we do know is magic and immortal
Speaker 3: and giving us stuff every year, like let's build a
Speaker 3: temple to him and once five, yeah, eight and five,
Speaker 3: So like almost the same as mine. And the eight
Speaker 3: year old still believes. Yeah, yeah, they're no, they're into it.
Speaker 3: But so, yeah, we wrote letters to Santa this year, which,
Speaker 3: like Canada post here in Canada has a thing where
Speaker 3: you can write letters and you get a letter back,
Speaker 3: but the postal code is in Canada. Oh and so
Speaker 3: they were saying like, well, why does it say the
Speaker 3: North Pole Canada? And I said, oh, well, maybe the
Speaker 3: North Pole is like technically in Canada. I'm not really sure.
Speaker 3: And they were like, can you look it up? And
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, that's so I looked it up.
Speaker 3: Damn you Google well, and I you know, it was
Speaker 3: a very confusing, complicated answer. Where like it's no one,
Speaker 3: it's not in any country by you know, according to
Speaker 3: international law. But then a bunch of countries have been
Speaker 3: like trying.
Speaker 2: To colonize the North Pole.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, Like there was like Denmark actually like filed
Speaker 3: papers with the un like ten years ago to Charlie's Denmark. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and they did it right before Christmas. It was like
Speaker 3: a week before Christmas. They were trying to like occupy
Speaker 3: Santa's workshop.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: But and Canada's been trying to do it, and Russia
Speaker 3: They're all trying to get at the North Pole. So
Speaker 3: it's a really complex geopolitical answer. And then by the
Speaker 3: time I looked it up, my kids had moved on
Speaker 3: to something else that didn't care.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 3: So that's a little peek into the chaos of my life.
Speaker 2: Well that us me thinking about how for like families
Speaker 2: who are raising their kids in like a very like
Speaker 2: a non religious, secular home, is there a kind of
Speaker 2: Santa counterpart that is like not it doesn't hinge on
Speaker 2: like this magical, mystical almost godlike narrative, Like can it
Speaker 2: just be like hey, I'm Santa, your dad, or just
Speaker 2: like a.
Speaker 1: Regular Santa, and you know, how he gets those gifts.
Speaker 1: It ain't magic gets bust in his rear. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like those are the main options, right Santa? Or
Speaker 1: come on? You know? You know Santa, my seven year
Speaker 1: old this year, gave me. He didn't He didn't say
Speaker 1: I don't believe in Santa. He gave me the room
Speaker 1: to tell him the truth. He said, it's interesting sometimes
Speaker 1: I've thought maybe Santa is just you guys leaving presence
Speaker 1: while I'm asleep the night before Christmas. And then how
Speaker 1: did you? Meaningful? Pause? And I said, oh yeah, huh
Speaker 1: that's how I responded, like a like a dad.
Speaker 2: Okay, So he was he was opening up space for
Speaker 2: you to tell the truth, tell.
Speaker 1: The truth without I did not cheat. I withheld the truth.
Speaker 1: I lie back by omission. Yeah exactly. I backed through
Speaker 1: a wall. I backed away so hard that there's just
Speaker 1: a meat shaped hole in the wall in the room.
Speaker 1: So I at least I didn't like yell at him
Speaker 1: for thinking he's so smart or something, which was like
Speaker 1: there's a voice in my head, like I think it
Speaker 1: was my grandmother who wanted me to do that. You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: so you think you're smarter than me. You think what
Speaker 1: you think you figure something out, but I.
Speaker 2: Didn't do that is your grandma Joe Pesci?
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little bit not fun, Yeah, Nana Pete not
Speaker 1: a fan of mine. Nonsense. What is uh? What's something
Speaker 1: you think is overrated? Jam? Okay?
Speaker 3: Sticking with the holiday theme, I'm gonna say candy canes.
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Has anyone ever bought a candy cane? No one wants
Speaker 3: candy canes. They are mainly it's It does seem like
Speaker 3: if you told me candy canes are actually like making
Speaker 3: money for some like secret government subsidy, or you know
Speaker 3: that there was some reason for them to exist, I
Speaker 3: would I would be like that finally makes sense to me.
Speaker 3: The existence and continued popularity of candy canes does not
Speaker 3: make sense to me. However, I have already voiced this opinion,
Speaker 3: which I don't know. Did you write that opinion for me?
Speaker 3: You you do write for the.
Speaker 1: Show, maybe, so I don't know. Do I actually like
Speaker 1: candy canes? And I was just writing, I was just
Speaker 1: reading what you wrote for me. But I don't like
Speaker 1: candy canes. I don't love peppermint candy. My kids have
Speaker 1: been kind of coming to that conclusion, and so it
Speaker 1: like reinforced it where they're like discovering, oh, these things suck. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And as I voiced that I have been theret it
Speaker 1: by some TDZ fans in multiple instances, they reached out
Speaker 1: to me on Twitter and like offered to duel, like
Speaker 1: in a dueling context, more like I demand, sir that
Speaker 1: you give me the room to defend the good name
Speaker 1: of candy canes. And so instead of doing that, I
Speaker 1: I had you on to commiserate with me about how
Speaker 1: candy cans suck shit or take the heat. Yeah that's right.
Speaker 3: Well, see, I like minty things, but like there, you know,
Speaker 3: there's no First of all, there's no good way to
Speaker 3: eat it, Like it gets all sticky when you're holding it.
Speaker 2: It's got their to eat, hard to unwrap, the.
Speaker 3: Worst shape for a food that you're supposed to lick. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: just the shape awful products. I was looking out trying
Speaker 3: to look up how they came to be, and like
Speaker 3: there's a myth. I don't know if this is true,
Speaker 3: but they said that they were created to like silence
Speaker 3: choir children in churches in like the sixteen hundreds.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true. That's funny. Literally everything's
Speaker 1: just small children. Quietly stop asking so many damn questions
Speaker 1: about sandy claws, you know what I'm saying, and shut
Speaker 1: your mouth around this. But yeah, they are very difficult
Speaker 1: to unwrap that. That can't that guys, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Not really? Candy kittens and wrapping paper, I feel like
Speaker 1: both are wrapped by the same plastic in the same
Speaker 1: plastic method, just like shrink wrapped, and with zero like
Speaker 1: zero room for you to like dig in there, you
Speaker 1: know it's Yeah.
Speaker 2: And while we're on the topic of wrapping paper, how
Speaker 2: much wrapping paper gets wasted not just from like discarded
Speaker 2: like after a gift has been unwrapped and then you
Speaker 2: just like are wastefully throwing away this, but also like
Speaker 2: you're cutting the wrapping paper to like fit their size
Speaker 2: and shape of the gift you're wrapping. So there's all
Speaker 2: these like little excess pieces that aren't big enough to
Speaker 2: do anything with and then those go to waste. Yeah,
Speaker 2: wrapping paper bad.
Speaker 1: Wrapping paper bad. You can cut those up and put
Speaker 1: them in a confetti canon.
Speaker 2: For New Year's Reduce, reuse, recycle, recycle.
Speaker 1: You're used wrapping paper.
Speaker 3: I think instead of wrapping paper, we should have blindfolds.
Speaker 1: To the usable and plus your kids might like fall asleep,
Speaker 1: and that was shut them up to them, fuck up
Speaker 1: and they will stop asking questions about Santa Claus.
Speaker 3: They would either invent candy canes or like invent the
Speaker 3: ether soaked rag.
Speaker 1: It was like one of the two. What is something
Speaker 1: that you, Kaitlyn, you don't like peppermint candy canes, like
Speaker 1: the taste any of that stuff.
Speaker 2: I'm not a big peppermint candy fan myself personally.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well we're I'm sorry Zeygang, that I
Speaker 1: didn't get better representation for you maybe next Christmas. Making
Speaker 1: lots of promises about next Christmas to Zei Gang, We're
Speaker 1: gonna do a top five episodes where I actually let
Speaker 1: you guys vote next year, and also I will I
Speaker 1: will have one of you on to defend the good
Speaker 1: name of peppermint candy canes. One thing that is super
Speaker 1: intriguing to me that we did learn during the holiday
Speaker 1: episodes this year was that you can just stick a
Speaker 1: candy cane, like regular street grade candy cane into an
Speaker 1: orange and suck on it and it will become a
Speaker 1: straw and suck up orange juice.
Speaker 3: What, Yeah, I changed my mind.
Speaker 1: I like candy canes, right, and they say it's like
Speaker 1: really delicious, even though those two things don't seem like
Speaker 1: they should work together because orange juice toothpaste so such
Speaker 1: a bad fit. But for some reason, like this actually
Speaker 1: just makes the orange juice like sweeter. I guess it's
Speaker 1: the way that the candy the candy cane is like
Speaker 1: pulled length wise and so it like creates little air pockets,
Speaker 1: and then because of the acidity of the orange juice
Speaker 1: it is like burning burning holes up the up the cane.
Speaker 2: Okay, but what about when you like brush your teeth
Speaker 2: with minty toothpaste and then Yea drinks orange juice and
Speaker 2: it tastes horrible, tastes.
Speaker 1: Like the worst, the worst. Yeah, that for some reason
Speaker 1: that does that principle does not apply. It might be
Speaker 1: the other chemicals in toothpaste that are causing that, which
Speaker 1: is why I don't trust toothpaste. Brush your teeth with candy.
Speaker 2: Cans sentinel.
Speaker 1: Fit. Yeah, I don't know. It's also funny that can
Speaker 1: can cane like canes are the thing because they were
Speaker 1: like clearly invented at a time when like people were
Speaker 1: still like suffering from polio and things like that, and
Speaker 1: it was just like, what what would kids like I.
Speaker 2: Think a system device we turn into candy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, according to that myth that I read, it was
Speaker 3: supposed to resemble like a shepherd's cane and not a poo,
Speaker 3: not a polio cane.
Speaker 1: He I mean tomato, tomato, that makes more sense.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of oranges, here's a Christmasy time candy that
Speaker 2: I can get on board with is those chocolate orange candies.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about the dried oranges dipped in chocolate
Speaker 1: or are you talking about just the things that are
Speaker 1: chocolate are orange flavored chocolate shaped like.
Speaker 2: A orange and like sectioned off into different like orange sections,
Speaker 2: but made entirely of chocolate, but like flavored with like
Speaker 2: orange flavoring. So it's like orange flavored chocolates.
Speaker 1: So there was a list of the worst Christmas candies
Speaker 1: published this year that did not contain candy canes did
Speaker 1: contain those, and I was furious. I think that's actually
Speaker 1: where my candy cane anger, or initially a rose it
Speaker 1: was like. But me that day was like Michael Douglas
Speaker 1: and falling down. I was just walking walking the city
Speaker 1: of Los Angeles, pulling candy canes out of children's mouths
Speaker 1: and snapping them in half. Yeah, just fucking.
Speaker 3: Pissed you guys, And that's why you're not welcome at
Speaker 3: the mall anymore.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not what. Uh, let's take a quick break. Actually,
Speaker 1: we'll be right back ed. We're back and jam. We're
Speaker 1: still we're still getting to know you, and we want
Speaker 1: to know what's something you think underrated?
Speaker 3: Okay, Sticking on the Christmas theme, I'm gonna say Bob
Speaker 3: Dylan's Christmas album Have you ever heard that?
Speaker 1: No, it's wait the one though I came out recently. No,
Speaker 1: I came out like fifteen years ago maybe that, and
Speaker 1: by recently I do mean fifteen Oh okay, I mean
Speaker 1: like not. It wasn't like young Bob Dylan sings the
Speaker 1: Christmas Blues. Yeah, No, this was old.
Speaker 3: Bob Dylan sounding like the Devil himself singing Christmas yea,
Speaker 3: which I kind of love, just because most people in
Speaker 3: my family hate it and humor me by listening to it.
Speaker 3: But it is so bizarre, like I still can't believe
Speaker 3: it even really exists.
Speaker 1: But it's also like half the.
Speaker 3: Songs are really well done in earnest, and then half
Speaker 3: of them he sounds drunkn like he doesn't give a shit.
Speaker 3: It's kind of amazing.
Speaker 1: I heard somebody recently say that he is like our
Speaker 1: greatest living functional Heroin addict, which I I don't know
Speaker 1: that I had ever heard that. I assumed he did
Speaker 1: not do drugs, and that's how he was able to
Speaker 1: be one hundred and twelve. I think I don't know
Speaker 1: how old he is. He's th two. I saw two. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that might be Heroin. He so fucking old. Holy shit,
Speaker 1: I can't believe he's eighty two. He does not look
Speaker 1: like a healthy eighty two. Wow.
Speaker 3: But yeah, his Christmas album, I just think it's worth
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just it's odd and it doesn't sound good,
Speaker 3: so I understand why people don't like it. But I
Speaker 3: do appreciate the kind of shit disturbing punk rock energy
Speaker 3: of it, even though it's like very like like the
Speaker 3: arrangements are very classical, like it sounds like a Bing
Speaker 3: Crosby record, but then on top of it, the vocals
Speaker 3: are like like Tom Waits, Yeah, like a Tom Waits
Speaker 3: cover band singer like murdered Bing Crosby and took over
Speaker 3: his e and I kind of love that have yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just really croaking the things out at this point,
Speaker 1: but I like to I like some of his later stuff.
Speaker 1: The thing I was thinking of is must be Santa Yes,
Speaker 1: which I think we wrote about at Cracked. Was that
Speaker 1: like this bizarre Christmas video that like just seemed like
Speaker 1: a fever dream at the time, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's recent fourteen years ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, speaking of Joe Peshey, your grandmother, Jack, do
Speaker 2: you know about Joe Peshey's Christmas album?
Speaker 1: No, He's is a thing.
Speaker 2: It's a real thing, and you're going to want to
Speaker 2: listen to it. Everybody, turn this off right now, go
Speaker 2: listen to Joe Peshi's Christmas album It's.
Speaker 1: Nuts the original podcast. He I typically associate him with
Speaker 1: not being the most Christmas ey guy in the world,
Speaker 1: associate him with robbing people's houses during Christmas and flooding them.
Speaker 2: So well, he contains multitudes, I guess.
Speaker 1: So also, he and It's Marvin Harry are the characters.
Speaker 1: I think they really love each other. I just noticed
Speaker 1: that on the most recently rewatch of Home Alone, Like
Speaker 1: they like an old married couple, but they just love
Speaker 1: each other, like there's a great deal of the way
Speaker 1: Joe Pashi looks at him is like he's just like
Speaker 1: a bitch, but he like the fact that they're together,
Speaker 1: that he stays with somebody as stupid as Daniel Stearn's character.
Speaker 1: Like there, it just implies this deep bond that makes
Speaker 1: you kind of root for them a little bit.
Speaker 2: And that is something that I don't think people take
Speaker 2: away enough from that movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all they take my is the damn Christmas presence
Speaker 1: and Kevin and o oh.
Speaker 2: He booby trapped his house, Isn't he so clever?
Speaker 1: I talked about this on a recent episode. But man,
Speaker 1: the second one is so violent.
Speaker 2: I see, I haven't seen that one nearly as often
Speaker 2: as the first violent.
Speaker 1: If anybody knows the origin, and maybe I should ask
Speaker 1: the two of you, I mean, Caitlin film major.
Speaker 2: J I have a master's degree.
Speaker 1: Film Masters, film master.
Speaker 3: I apologize, I just have an undergrad and degree in Yeah,
Speaker 3: but you also would be the type of person who
Speaker 3: would know the details about how Home Alone two was written.
Speaker 1: I am very curious because the movie is heading in
Speaker 1: the direction of him weaponizing Fao Schwartz, like the robbers
Speaker 1: are going to rob Fao Schwartz or you know what,
Speaker 1: Duncan's toy chest as it's called the movie. He catches
Speaker 1: them at like in the act and he has to
Speaker 1: protect them, and it's like all set up for him
Speaker 1: to booby trap and like attack them with toys, which
Speaker 1: was like the fun endearing part of the first one
Speaker 1: was that he like used his toys to attack them,
Speaker 1: but then instead of doing that, he lures them into
Speaker 1: a murder house and just murders them over and over
Speaker 1: and over again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, instead of micromachines.
Speaker 4: It's like what if bricks, Yeah, what if I threw
Speaker 4: bricks from five stories up directly and that the corners
Speaker 4: hit you in the head, like the corners of bricks
Speaker 4: out hit you in the head multiple times, and then
Speaker 4: like I used power tools.
Speaker 1: Well the fucking shot with nail guns.
Speaker 2: The first one, like he steps one of them steps
Speaker 2: on a nail, probably gets tetanus. One of them, like
Speaker 2: scalp gets burned off with a blow torch, someone gets
Speaker 2: an iron in the face. They're violent movies, well the
Speaker 2: first one.
Speaker 1: So their thing was like we have to and maybe
Speaker 1: this is just like screenwriting one oh one film master,
Speaker 1: Please let me know but I'm ready. I know you
Speaker 1: have to heighten, right, but the way that they chose
Speaker 1: to heighten is like, Okay, instead of getting hit by
Speaker 1: a paint can they get hit by a giant like
Speaker 1: metal bar that would shatter every bone in their face,
Speaker 1: which is like turn their skulls into jelly, like right,
Speaker 1: you know, like all of the things that they get
Speaker 1: smashed by that like they have a hot iron fall
Speaker 1: on their face or something in the first one. This
Speaker 1: time it's a bag of cement that is like has
Speaker 1: one hundred pounds written on it, so like would kill them. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So like it's just such a specific choice that they
Speaker 1: of like how to how to heighten. So I guess
Speaker 1: my question is like if anybody was has insight into
Speaker 1: the notes process, I feel like there is a first
Speaker 1: draft of that script where he's like shooting them with
Speaker 1: nerves and stuff like that, and they watched it and
Speaker 1: like they were like.
Speaker 2: Ah, it's not big enough.
Speaker 1: It's not big enough, Like we need to invent this
Speaker 1: rich uncle's house that is abandoned that he can just
Speaker 1: like fucking take them to and just murder them over
Speaker 1: and over like, so they do that head on fire
Speaker 1: thing again and then he fills the toilet with kerosene,
Speaker 1: and like the whole house goes up and flames.
Speaker 2: It's because his head's on fire. And then he sticks
Speaker 2: it in.
Speaker 1: Sticks it in the toilet, and the whole house like
Speaker 1: just explodes in a ball of flame. But then like
Speaker 1: nobody dies and the house doesn't burned down because because
Speaker 1: you know, it's a Christmas miracle. But anyways, it's please
Speaker 1: somebody rewatch home Alan too and let me know that
Speaker 1: I'm not crazy, because I'm pretty sure I'm not. Like
Speaker 1: it's the whole thing just is wild.
Speaker 3: I have a partial explanation for this, yeah if you
Speaker 3: doesn't explain everything, but I heard you talk about this
Speaker 3: in the podcasts. Yeah, and I thought i'd look into it,
Speaker 3: and I couldn't really find out that much information. But
Speaker 3: I remembered something I'd written for Cracks a long time
Speaker 3: ago about the talk boy, Remember, like the tape recorder
Speaker 3: that he uses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: That was like that was retro engineered from the idea
Speaker 3: that they were like, Okay, let's invent a toy for
Speaker 3: Kevin to have, and that will be like the hot
Speaker 3: new Christmas toy. We can sell a bunch of them
Speaker 3: if we you know, partner with a toy company. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so the first idea they had was to have
Speaker 3: him have some kind of a toy gun that I
Speaker 3: imagine he would use on the Wet Bandits somehow at
Speaker 3: the end of the movie. But then someone was like, hey,
Speaker 3: John Hughes, I know you spent a day and a
Speaker 3: half writing the script, but this kid is not gonna
Speaker 3: be able to take a toy gun, even pre nine
Speaker 3: to eleven, onto an airplane and fly to New York.
Speaker 3: So they changed it to a tape recorder. But I
Speaker 3: imagine that may have been there may have been more
Speaker 3: toys as weapons if he could have brought his toys
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, but he has the whole fucking toy store
Speaker 1: at his disposal. Jam.
Speaker 3: That's true on Turtle Doves, right, you can't kill a
Speaker 3: man with turtle doves.
Speaker 1: Like truly a profound lack of imagination for like fun
Speaker 1: things to do with toys by the writers of that movie,
Speaker 1: because yeah, when he gets to go to the toy store,
Speaker 1: they don't even give him like a fun Tom Hanks
Speaker 1: and big scene. Really, he just gets Yeah, he gets
Speaker 1: two Christmas ornaments from the guy. These are two turtle
Speaker 1: doves and you give them to someone and it symbolizes friendship.
Speaker 1: You mean, like he was gonna get it from its like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're gonna give it to the bird lady. Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: By the way, they're birds that woman would have preferred. Gosh,
Speaker 3: what's she gonna do with that turtle dove?
Speaker 1: Oh? Great? So I have these fake birds that like
Speaker 1: he runs out of the biggest suite in the big
Speaker 1: the finest hotel in New York and runs down and
Speaker 1: gives her two turtle doves. While she's there with like
Speaker 1: a bunch of beautiful live birds, like here's a here's
Speaker 1: a fake one. She's like, oh gotta go. Yeah, Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: they are so rich. It's crazy. It's the whole thing
Speaker 1: is really like a yeah, Donald, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: Donald Trump not only appears in that movie, but like
Speaker 1: took a pass on that movie.
Speaker 2: They gave him the script and they.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got rich, make them richer. The only thing
Speaker 1: that makes sense of this movie is that the parents
Speaker 1: sit in first class and their kids are in coach.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing about this that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Maybe it was just like a nice Christmas movie. And
Speaker 3: then he was like is there a scene where a
Speaker 3: small child throws bricks at poor people? I guess we
Speaker 3: could put that in the end of the movie. It
Speaker 3: seems a little out of place.
Speaker 1: Of course, that's what That's what people are gonna you know,
Speaker 1: that's what you what you do with your kids on Christmas.
Speaker 1: He had a different accent back then. I'm not doing
Speaker 1: Trump accents, all right, guys, leave me alone late Caitlin. Yeah, Christmas,
Speaker 1: the Christmas tradition, the Christmas spirit is all about celebrating
Speaker 1: birth of baby Jesus Christ. And and it is historically accurate.
Speaker 1: This is Jesus' birthday, and that's why we have the
Speaker 1: tree inside our house.
Speaker 2: The end, correct, and we can move on to the
Speaker 2: next week.
Speaker 1: Move on.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I wanted to. I have a
Speaker 2: little segment called Caitlin's Christmas Corner.
Speaker 1: Caitlyn's Christmas Corner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll come back next year for a night. I'm
Speaker 2: inviting myself.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, it's a forty five minute guitar solo now,
Speaker 1: so it's just everybody sit back.
Speaker 2: Okay, So this might be I think this is becoming
Speaker 2: more common knowledge than it was. But if anyone doesn't know,
Speaker 2: many Christmas traditions are actually rooted in pagan traditions, festivities, celebrations,
Speaker 2: and I thought that would be particularly fitting to talk
Speaker 2: about as today is Winter Solstice, or it will be
Speaker 2: at seven twenty seven pm time zone question mark. Yeah,
Speaker 2: our last It could have happened by the time or
Speaker 2: listened to this, who knows. But anyway, so, yes, many
Speaker 2: Christmas traditions that we currently observe are actually pagan, and
Speaker 2: pagan in this context just refers to, you know, like
Speaker 2: the ancient polytheistic pre or non Christian people that were
Speaker 2: around many hundreds, if not thousands of years ago before
Speaker 2: the birth of Jesus. Yes, indeed, so there are a
Speaker 2: bunch of celebrations from around the world that were celebrated
Speaker 2: around this time of year that likely inspired present day
Speaker 2: Christmas traditions. I'm only going to focus on a couple
Speaker 2: of these, starting with the ancient Romans, who celebrated something
Speaker 2: called Saturnalia.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they were celebrating the Roman god of agriculture, Saturn,
Speaker 5: and they were celebrating the kind of like ending of
Speaker 5: the planting season and the harvest.
Speaker 2: This was usually celebrated between the seventeenth and twenty fourth
Speaker 2: of December. They were these traditions. Let me say this,
Speaker 2: the Romans, they knew how to party. The celebrations were
Speaker 2: quite raucous, way more so than traditional like Christian Christmases.
Speaker 2: There was like public gambling, there was drinking. There was
Speaker 2: just basic like general public debauchery happening.
Speaker 1: The gambling really got like weeded at because you know,
Speaker 1: Hanukah has gambling, Like my kids brought the dradle home
Speaker 1: and we ended up spending an hour just like gambling
Speaker 1: crans and I ended up cleaning their ass out. It
Speaker 1: was very it was wonderful nice, but but they like
Speaker 1: it made me realize how much we're missing a good
Speaker 1: gambling inspired tradition in like true like modern day Christmas traditions, right,
Speaker 1: there isn't really one. I mean, I guess you're gambling
Speaker 1: with you.
Speaker 2: Know, people's hearts, with.
Speaker 1: Your heart, with the fucking missile toe. You know, you're
Speaker 1: gambling that some pervert's going to be hiding behind that
Speaker 1: day missiletoe.
Speaker 2: You know you're gambling with you know, here's a problem
Speaker 2: I have. I'm not a very good gift giver in
Speaker 2: the sense that I often don't know what to get people.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, maybe they'll like this, And that's a
Speaker 2: gamble where I'm just saying, yeah, I hope you like
Speaker 2: this shitty thing.
Speaker 1: And you do say that you were at our the
Speaker 1: gift exchange, you did say I hope you like this
Speaker 1: shitty thing as you gave it out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I write that on all my Christmas
Speaker 2: cards anyway, So there was so there were these celebrations
Speaker 2: that were happening around the same time that you know,
Speaker 2: modern day Christmas is at least is it Orthodox Christians
Speaker 2: that celebrated in like January. Anyway, The point is this
Speaker 2: was happening in ancient Rome. Meanwhile, Norse people were celebrating
Speaker 2: Yule also around this time of year. They were celebrating
Speaker 2: the birth of the sun, you know, the days starting Christ.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I'm sorry, that's a different spelling of sun.
Speaker 2: Okay, A different is the s u n Because winter
Speaker 2: solstice or post winter Solstice, the days start to get
Speaker 2: longer again there there's more sunlight. So they're celebrating this.
Speaker 2: These festiv these lasted for twelve days. Maybe that's where
Speaker 2: the twelve Days of Christmas comes from. Ever think about that.
Speaker 1: Jam, Sorry I didn't.
Speaker 2: And people would get together for feasting and drinking. They
Speaker 2: would eat a big ham. Okay, think about that as well.
Speaker 2: They would decorate a yule tree and light a yule log.
Speaker 1: Christmas. This is literally like.
Speaker 3: What you're saying is a Christian must have time traveled
Speaker 3: back all of these customs, Yes to them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty exactly in.
Speaker 1: Accordance with teaching of Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: And then we've got other things like you know, decorating
Speaker 2: with holly, exchanging gifts, caroling, singing, kissing under the mistletoe.
Speaker 2: These are all rooted in pagan traditions, so clebrating these
Speaker 2: like winter Solstice holidays. Also, Santa Claus was is thought
Speaker 2: to be at least partly inspired by Odin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's got serving up.
Speaker 2: Odin's got this big, long white beard.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: He would ride through the skies on an eight legged horse.
Speaker 2: People think that that might have been like then kind
Speaker 2: of translated to eight reindeer that Santa Claus would fly around.
Speaker 1: Anyways, I like the presentation of this because it's like
Speaker 1: people think that maybe it could be related to Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: He would ride across the sky on an eight legged horse,
Speaker 1: and Santa rides across the sky on eight reindeer huh.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure I ever saw, but it's.
Speaker 1: There's like I can see the similarities, but I'm.
Speaker 2: Not I'm just trying to be diplomatic, you know. Anyway, So,
Speaker 2: when christian were trying to convert everyone in Europe basically
Speaker 2: to Christianity around the fifth century, they realized it would
Speaker 2: be easier to convert the Pagans to Christianity if they
Speaker 2: let them keep these traditions. So Christians basically like co
Speaker 2: opted or appropriated the traditions and attached them to the
Speaker 2: celebration of the birth of Jesus, which also many historians
Speaker 2: believe was not actually born on December twenty fifth, but
Speaker 2: that was just close to when the Pagans were celebrating
Speaker 2: these winter Solstice festivities. And so that's why all of
Speaker 2: these Christmas traditions that we currently participate in actually have
Speaker 2: nothing to do with Christianity and have everything to do
Speaker 2: with these ancient celebrations and religions.
Speaker 3: Okay, can you guys hold on for a sec I
Speaker 3: gotta go throw all my decorations in the garbage.
Speaker 1: It was built on lies typeagan.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna bring in a wicker man
Speaker 3: instead of the tree.
Speaker 1: It's like the two big Christian holidays just happened to
Speaker 1: be too overlap with the like big times that people celebrated,
Speaker 1: Like of all cultures, Like there's almost always a time
Speaker 1: of year when people are like this is the time
Speaker 1: that it's cold. It's cold other days, this is the
Speaker 1: like day the earth is trying to kill us the most,
Speaker 1: and so we do the most like insulting thing we
Speaker 1: can to it and like cut off one of its
Speaker 1: trees and like take it inside, burn it, burn it
Speaker 1: to be like fuck you, we rule, you can't kill us.
Speaker 1: We deserve to be warm, yeaheah exactly. So yeah, and
Speaker 1: then the Easter one is like the you know, the
Speaker 1: fertility stuffy. So it's all, it's all we were not.
Speaker 2: No Jesus dying had everything to do with rabbits and
Speaker 2: the eggs, yeah, and hiding the eggs, et cetera.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that there's that famous part where they like go
Speaker 1: and like look under his feet when he's on the
Speaker 1: cross and like under his little sash thing and there's
Speaker 1: like colorful eggs in there. Yeah. But all right, yes
Speaker 1: I'm not convinced, but do you have any any more evidence?
Speaker 1: Sounds like bullshit.
Speaker 2: Well I well, the other thing I do want to
Speaker 2: talk about is the beloved Christmas flower, commonly known as
Speaker 2: points setia's point SETAs. I don't know how to say it,
Speaker 2: and I'm here to drop some truth at y'all.
Speaker 1: Ready, okay, oh shit, And this part will be delivered as.
Speaker 2: A rap, right, yes, yes, I wrote a rap for this,
Speaker 2: and someone please.
Speaker 1: Hit it.
Speaker 2: Okay. So, the flowers, commonly known as points adi as,
Speaker 2: They are native to Mexico and are known by their
Speaker 2: original name of Quetlasis. They historically have been cultivated by
Speaker 2: and held cultural significance for Mashika people. I'm going to
Speaker 2: quote something from hip Latina dot com. Quote community members
Speaker 2: decorated their temples with the quetlas oil as an offering
Speaker 2: to help reignite the light of Mother Earth. This was
Speaker 2: done during winter solstice, on the birthday of And here
Speaker 2: is the name of a Mashika god of sun and
Speaker 2: war that I will not pronounce correctly, but silo put
Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna try. I didn't even finish it,
Speaker 2: thank you. It has so many syllables and I'm simply
Speaker 2: it would be just a disservice if I tried to
Speaker 2: attempt it again anyway, So this god of son and war,
Speaker 2: they were celebrating the birthday of him. And so that's
Speaker 2: kind of like the cultural significance of these flowers.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: The reason they're called point Setia's is because a slave
Speaker 2: owner and colonizer named Joel Pointsett. He was out there
Speaker 2: colonizing whatever land that he could, and he came across
Speaker 2: these flowers in Mexico and started shipping them back to
Speaker 2: his home in North Carolina. And then so these flowers
Speaker 2: came to be named point Setia's in his honor. But
Speaker 2: there are a lot of people who are campaigning to
Speaker 2: have these flowers be called by their original indigenous name, Quitlas.
Speaker 1: So that, well, let's chill. It is so chill yeah,
Speaker 1: Joel point set Okay, man, okay, Joel. Cool job man, Well,
Speaker 1: cool job by you, Caitlin, because that was great. And
Speaker 1: now I'm gonna, as jam said, goes throw all of
Speaker 1: my Christmas decorations off of the top of the building
Speaker 1: at Robbers.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you.
Speaker 1: So another thing that I think is worth noting about Christmas,
Speaker 1: and that lends Christmas It's power but doesn't get talked
Speaker 1: about a lot, is that this is a fuck season folks,
Speaker 1: it's the horniest time of year. This is studies have
Speaker 1: shown the time that the most babies get conceived. This
Speaker 1: is the birthday. Capital of the year is September, which
Speaker 1: is nine months from right now, So this is when
Speaker 1: a lot of the people of earth be fucking. It's
Speaker 1: like essentially humanity's unspoken breeding season. And yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I like first realized this when doing like a article
Speaker 1: on times of the year, and like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I was like, why doesn't anybody talk about the fact that,
Speaker 1: like Christmas in New Year's is like the time everybody's
Speaker 1: having sex. But then it like really makes all the
Speaker 1: stuff makes sense, Like why Christmas songs are as horny
Speaker 1: as they are and why Love actually is seen as
Speaker 1: a good movie were the two things that I was like, Oh, okay,
Speaker 1: So like because it's like the Christian sort of over
Speaker 1: like surface text that gets written on top of Christianity
Speaker 1: is like it's family and chaste, and but like, deep
Speaker 1: down Christmas is freaky as fuck, and so that you know,
Speaker 1: you can hear it in the music. But even like
Speaker 1: the Mariah Carey song, like I was just listening to
Speaker 1: the lyrics for that, and like that song is she
Speaker 1: is like threatening to ruin Christmas if she can't fuck
Speaker 1: this person. She's like, I'm not going to like put
Speaker 1: up any decorations like this.
Speaker 3: I mean that person is me, like right, and it's me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which great feeling for all of us. But I
Speaker 1: feel like for a long time, Christmas music has just
Speaker 1: been allowed to be horny on main The movies, I
Speaker 1: feel like are a little bit lacking in that respect,
Speaker 1: but it does bleed through sometimes, and so we wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about some kind of underrated horny aspects of
Speaker 1: Christmas movies. I like, I've said this before, but I
Speaker 1: don't think Love actually is a good movie. But I
Speaker 1: think it is the only movie where the explicit sub
Speaker 1: jets are Christmas and horniness. Like it's the one that's like,
Speaker 1: this is a series of love stories and it's all
Speaker 1: based around Christmas, and so there you go.
Speaker 2: It's every but not based on love. They're like, all
Speaker 2: these people are horny for each other exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then a man man explaining his horniness to
Speaker 1: you by being like, actually, I'm in love with you,
Speaker 1: and it's called love.
Speaker 2: When I have a direction that equals love.
Speaker 1: So but yeah, so jam you kind of dug Into,
Speaker 1: because you were telling us as we were talking about
Speaker 1: this subject, You're saying that a Toronto theater is like
Speaker 1: screening Eyes Wide Shut as a Christmas movie a couple
Speaker 1: of year. I'm seeing it.
Speaker 2: Really Friday night, Wow, Tomorrow night and at the New Beverly.
Speaker 2: Is a part of it's like Christmas programming.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it went very quickly from like people kind
Speaker 3: of joking like oh eyes, why should as a Christmas movie?
Speaker 3: So like, oh no, it's it's part of the Christmas
Speaker 3: canon now, I swear.
Speaker 1: And it ends with them Christmas shopping right and talking
Speaker 1: about fucking each other. The main thing, the main kind
Speaker 1: of rift between the couple happens at a Christmas party.
Speaker 1: I mean we've all been there, like we've then. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the story right, the climactic Fidelio party is very similar
Speaker 1: to Christmas parties that I go to. You know, that's
Speaker 1: just how we get down. Uh huh. But so I
Speaker 1: like that, I like people need to start making horny
Speaker 1: Christmas movies yesterday.
Speaker 3: So, like like I said in the doc, like I
Speaker 3: don't actually think this movie is is motivated by horny Weirdly,
Speaker 3: it's it's it's the thing that drives. The movie is
Speaker 3: like Tom Cruise's sad, kind of pathetic, like just male
Speaker 3: insecurity because his wife said that she was horny and
Speaker 3: he's like, I'm gonna go do something about it, and
Speaker 3: he never does.
Speaker 1: He just has one failure after another futility, Yeah, which
Speaker 1: is so funny.
Speaker 3: People that don't say say they don't like that movie.
Speaker 3: I feel like, don't get how funny it is, or
Speaker 3: don't you know, walk into it thinking that it's going
Speaker 3: to be funny, because I find so many things in
Speaker 3: that movie very funny, like how he whenever he goes places,
Speaker 3: he pulls out like his wallet and shows his medical
Speaker 3: ideas if.
Speaker 1: It were like a badge. He was like an FBI agent.
Speaker 1: I'll take it from here, ma'am. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I find it the whole thing very very.
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. I feel like Stanley Kubrick was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to humiliate this little fuck like that was
Speaker 1: that was his thesis statement for Eyes White Shut. Although
Speaker 1: I think sexual Insecurity and all that stuff is tied
Speaker 1: up and in the horniness of it all, I think
Speaker 1: that's a part a side of the coin of horniness.
Speaker 1: I guess so.
Speaker 3: But it's a movie full of sex where like the
Speaker 3: main character never actually has sex, even though he keeps
Speaker 3: trying and failing and looking like an idiot.
Speaker 2: I mean, relatable much.
Speaker 1: I know, right, thank you. I bet I would be
Speaker 1: willing to gamble that Tom Cruise's character pretty horny by
Speaker 1: the end of that film. Yeah all right, So so
Speaker 1: some underrated horny classics. We one that you pointed out,
Speaker 1: jam that I was not familiar with. I've never seen
Speaker 1: The Grinch. Jim Carrey's The Grinch. I think it's called
Speaker 1: just the Grinch. There's also Benette cumberbatch'es The Grinch.
Speaker 3: I think that was just called The Grinch. The Jim
Speaker 3: Carrey one I think is still.
Speaker 1: Called How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Speaker 3: I mean it's it's bad. It's real bad.
Speaker 1: The movie vs bad. Yeah, okay, gasp, but it's the
Speaker 1: are freaky freaky as hell in that movie. Yes, I
Speaker 1: watched some scenes and they are having key parties, like
Speaker 1: when he is delivered.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: Which I was. I wouldn't have like picked up on that.
Speaker 1: That's what that was like as a kid, or even
Speaker 1: just now, unless you explain to me what a key
Speaker 1: party was.
Speaker 3: But also a key party where they're blasting smash Mouth.
Speaker 1: I couldn't remember, Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: Greened people such as the Grinch and smash Mouth go
Speaker 2: hand in hand, because how does Shrek end smash Mouth
Speaker 2: and how does it begin?
Speaker 1: Shrek is never far from smash Mouth. The smash Mouth
Speaker 1: is never far far afield in the world of Shrek exactly.
Speaker 3: There's also a subplot where like Christine Baranski is like
Speaker 3: this unrequited love interests.
Speaker 1: But like she kind of likes him too, because oh,
Speaker 1: green is a Christmas color, so she's just full Christmas person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and at one point he does like stick his face
Speaker 1: in her boobs and from the whole town so die Hard.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure Diehards a Christmas movie, Like somebody I
Speaker 1: heard somebody pose the question like would this movie be
Speaker 1: significantly diminished if it if it happened on like July fourth,
Speaker 1: and it would be diminished. It wouldn't be like significantly diminished,
Speaker 1: I guess, but you know, I don't know it's.
Speaker 2: But I would say still horny because I would argue
Speaker 2: that Bruce Willis's main motivation for you know, taking down
Speaker 2: Hans Kruber and Minions is not necessarily that he's like, wow,
Speaker 2: I have to keep all these people safe, trying to
Speaker 2: win back.
Speaker 1: His wife, who who is like wandering to ellis one
Speaker 1: of the great horny characters, just cocaine horniness embodied in
Speaker 1: a human m Yeah, no, he is, like, I've always
Speaker 1: found it weird. This is maybe the movie, like the
Speaker 1: movie I've seen the most besides Jaws, and it always
Speaker 1: stuck out to me that he has to convince himself
Speaker 1: out loud not to jack off multiple times in the movie,
Speaker 1: Like when he like, as he's running around hiding from
Speaker 1: the terrorists on the building, he like sees sees like
Speaker 1: a naked a poster of a naked woman and he's like, ah,
Speaker 1: not now, ladies, Or like he sees a woman like
Speaker 1: changing a building nearby and he's like, I can't, God,
Speaker 1: I really want to jack off right now in the
Speaker 1: middle of this nine to eleven level terrorist, but I
Speaker 1: just can't let myself do it. He's a professional, he's
Speaker 1: a professional exactly. But it's okay for jacks.
Speaker 3: They were not terrorists, they were robbers, that's right. I
Speaker 3: actually wrote a paper about Diehard for a class on terrorism.
Speaker 1: You really, whoever said we were terrorists fucking you did.
Speaker 1: That was your whole It was your whole thing. Man,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: But also, yeah, the movie, like it's also about Bruce
Speaker 3: Willis climbing a giant foulis which and eventually the tip
Speaker 3: explodes at the end, Like yeah, it's it's very Freudian.
Speaker 3: And I think it is about like this pent up
Speaker 3: sexual frustration because we also know that he's been separated
Speaker 3: from Holly, and they cleverly show us in the beginning
Speaker 3: of the movie that he's not unfaithful to her, that
Speaker 3: he probably hasn't had sex in a long time. Because
Speaker 3: the limo driver Argyle suggests that he could help him,
Speaker 3: like pick up some women while he's in town. He's like, no, no,
Speaker 3: I'm married. I wouldn't do that. So yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 3: just like yeah, it's just it's blue balls the movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Bruce Willis at Christmas.
Speaker 2: Her name is Holly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ok, yes, the Hall, Wow Deck the Hall. Yeah
Speaker 1: maybe that movie. He he always has to turn, Like
Speaker 1: in the second one, which is about Holly is in
Speaker 1: a giant fallus flying through the sky and can't can't
Speaker 1: land until he blows up a phallus with a bunch
Speaker 1: of terrorists this time, I think actual terrorists. Oh no,
Speaker 1: also also thieves on it, and then he shouts, there's
Speaker 1: a fucking landing light, Holly. But they clearly. I would
Speaker 1: say that the fact that the second one also takes
Speaker 1: place at Christmas is evidence that at least the filmmaker
Speaker 1: and the fact that it takes place around the most
Speaker 1: phallic technology that we all encounter the most on our
Speaker 1: day to day basis that airplanes are just giant dicks
Speaker 1: like the leads me to believe that the filmmakers were
Speaker 1: aware both that of the importance of Christmas and the
Speaker 1: importance of horniness to the appeal of the film. They
Speaker 1: did release it on July fourth, but they were like,
Speaker 1: it's got to be Christmas again, guys. Sorry, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3: The fact I think that was when the original director
Speaker 3: came back and did the third one. I think that
Speaker 3: was his only Uh, it couldn't be Christmas. Yeah, He's like,
Speaker 3: I'm not doing Christmas.
Speaker 1: Again, Like, guys, it doesn't makes so little sense already.
Speaker 1: That's what's happening to him.
Speaker 2: Is that the one where it's like basically a Saw movie,
Speaker 2: where some like the villain's like, let's play a game
Speaker 2: and then they have to like solve a bunch of puzzles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yes, nice, but it's all get this a
Speaker 1: distraction because they're trying to rob something. It's wild. You'd
Speaker 1: think that like that would also be a thing where
Speaker 1: they're like, maybe not this time, maybe they're actually terrorists,
Speaker 1: because like the whole bait and switch of it all
Speaker 1: makes it seems like they keep getting away with that.
Speaker 3: I hope, I hope when that director dies they use
Speaker 3: like George Lucas technology to make that movie Christmas, like
Speaker 3: just put cgi jackets on everybody and lights.
Speaker 1: And Samuel L. Jackson's dressed as Santa Claus the whole time. Well, shit, Jam,
Speaker 1: such a pleasure having you on the daily zeit Geist. Thanks?
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? Follow you all that good stuff?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I guess I'm on Twitter still, but I mean, who
Speaker 3: who wants to go to Twitter? It's not even called
Speaker 3: that anymore. But I'm at Jam McNab again on there.
Speaker 3: I think I have a Blue Sky account. I haven't
Speaker 3: checked it in a while. One thing I'll promote, which
Speaker 3: I never do is, uh, some music I've made is
Speaker 3: on Spotify and things which I never promote but we're
Speaker 3: not even really a band anymore. But I would appreciate
Speaker 3: it if you if you checked it out and clicked
Speaker 3: on it, and you don't even have to listen to it.
Speaker 3: But I think I get like a Nickel or something
Speaker 3: every time the album gets yeah, exactly. So Yeah, the
Speaker 3: band is called VistaVision with a V. So you can
Speaker 3: check that out on music platforms.
Speaker 1: There you go. We will link off to it footnotes footnotes.
Speaker 1: Is there a work media besides your own that you've
Speaker 1: been enjoying? Oh?
Speaker 3: You know what I was gonna I was gonna point
Speaker 3: to for this is just I saw on whatever Twitter
Speaker 3: is now that.
Speaker 1: Still okay? Type Twitter, it will take you there.
Speaker 3: I saw John Frankensteiner on Twitter posted Ciskel and Ebert's
Speaker 3: review of Home Alone three.
Speaker 1: Yeah did you see that? Yeah, you still haven't seen it, but.
Speaker 3: Oh it's bad and it's not a Christmas it was
Speaker 3: the it follows the Diehard pattern.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 3: Ebert passionately argues that it's the superior Home Alone film
Speaker 3: to the other two and Siskel just like you can
Speaker 3: see Siskel's soul like leaving his body. As Ebert argues
Speaker 3: with him about this and he tries to say that
Speaker 3: that little boy whose name I don't even remember, was
Speaker 3: a better actor than macaulay culkin. Wow, yeah, it's pretty
Speaker 3: funny to watch, so yeah, check that out.
Speaker 1: Mccaullay Culkin's acting does mainly consist of raising his eyebrows
Speaker 1: up and down, and I feel like it is an
Speaker 1: ingenious performance because it suggests that the director, like for
Speaker 1: his performance, was a five year old. My five year
Speaker 1: old is so impressed. He's like, well, my god, why
Speaker 1: is he doing that with his eyebrows. I'm like, cause
Speaker 1: he's a little fucking brat. I don't know you like that,
Speaker 1: you like this? I like this kid Homelon. My five
Speaker 1: year old saw it for the I think second time
Speaker 1: this weekend, saw Home Alone two for the first time
Speaker 1: this weekend, and it is now his favorite movie.
Speaker 3: Actually, I was going to ask you because my older
Speaker 3: kid has seen hom Alone two, my younger hasn't, and
Speaker 3: I was after listening to your podcast, so I was like,
Speaker 3: would it be irresponsible to show.
Speaker 1: Two? Okay? I did not remember that it was a
Speaker 1: fucking kill house murder box.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, if if you see like a notice next
Speaker 3: week that I was killed by like a brick curled
Speaker 3: from the second floor. That's why it's arrest my child.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Caitlyn, what a pleasure having you as co host.
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? Follow you? And is there
Speaker 1: work a media you've been enjoying?
Speaker 2: You can follow me on mostly on Instagram these days
Speaker 2: at Caitlin Durante. The big thing I want to plug
Speaker 2: is the Bechdel Cast is going on tour Wow February.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. We're going to San Diego, San Francisco, Sacremento, Dallas,
Speaker 2: and Austin.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: If you go to link tree Slash Spectel Cast, all
Speaker 2: of the details and ticket links are there, so come
Speaker 2: out and see us live. And as far as a
Speaker 2: piece of media I've been enjoying, oh gosh, I forgot
Speaker 2: to do this one. But speaking of horny Christmas movies,
Speaker 2: Batman Returns is I think takes the Cake.
Speaker 1: I think another great example of like that is both
Speaker 1: more Christmasy than I remembered it and way hornier than
Speaker 1: I remember.
Speaker 2: So horny. And also I have a Batman Returns tattoo brag.
Speaker 2: You know the part where Michelle Fliffer goes into her
Speaker 2: apartment after she's just been like thrown out of a
Speaker 2: window and then like nuzzled by a bunch of cat
Speaker 2: like streaks out nuzzled exactly, that's just science. And she
Speaker 2: goes back to her apartment and she has that neon
Speaker 2: sign that says hello there, but she smashes off the
Speaker 2: O and the T so that it sells says hell here,
Speaker 2: I have hell here on my arm.
Speaker 3: You were just like I've got a batman returns tattoo.
Speaker 3: It's just Christopher walking with that Einstein wig.
Speaker 2: Hell, yeah, Chip, isn't it?
Speaker 1: Doesn't he talk about his son Chip a lot in that?
Speaker 1: Or Am I thinking of a different movie? No? I
Speaker 1: think that sounds right, doesn't She enter and immediately chug
Speaker 1: a thing of milk. Yes, I feel like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the milk looks pretty good.
Speaker 2: And then she makes a really horny costume.
Speaker 1: The yeah, like truly wrapped up in that thing like
Speaker 1: a candy cane, you know, just not a not an
Speaker 1: inch of spare anything in there, perfectly sealed in.
Speaker 3: Also, I'll throw one other piece of media I've been enjoying,
Speaker 3: and that's Caitlin. I was listening to you It's wonderful
Speaker 3: life podcast. Oh thank you, and that you really called
Speaker 3: George Bailey out on his bullshit, so.
Speaker 2: That as well, And that's not a horny Christmas movie,
Speaker 2: So what's the point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. I was just watching so I've never
Speaker 1: seen It's a Wonderful life, and I know it's I
Speaker 1: just I'm not interested, and I don't blame you my family,
Speaker 1: just like it was not in our rotation. We black
Speaker 1: and white movies were not movies as far as I
Speaker 1: was concerned. When I was a kid, I was just like, well,
Speaker 1: that's not a It's not a thing I would watch
Speaker 1: on purpose. Why why would that be a thing. So
Speaker 1: like that The Miracle on thirty fourth Street we didn't
Speaker 1: really fuck with, But I watched a scene from it
Speaker 1: for in preparation for this episode where he is like,
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be like a scene of flirtation and
Speaker 1: it was difficult to make it through. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: is that what passed for charming back then? This, this
Speaker 1: George Bailey guy just seems like a real dip, as
Speaker 1: my mom would put it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it is framed as uh cute and romantic,
Speaker 2: even though she's like give me my clothes back and
Speaker 2: he's like, give me my clothes back.
Speaker 1: I just turned to eighteen. I was seventeen the last
Speaker 1: time we had a conversation. It's like, oh wow, oh
Speaker 1: and you were seventeen. She tells him she's eighteen, and
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, you were seventeen just last year. She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess if that's what it takes for you to
Speaker 1: like be into this. I think she asks him if
Speaker 1: that's like too old, like no, wow, what is he?
Speaker 1: How old is he supposed to be at that part?
Speaker 2: I think sixteen forties, twenties, but he's visibly forty.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And also that's the most romantic scene in the movie,
Speaker 3: is like him screaming an inch and a half from
Speaker 3: her face, just like yelling at her, yeah, plastic or something.
Speaker 3: It's I love parts that movie, but most of it's unwatchable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen to the Bechdel Cast episode of It's a
Speaker 2: Wonderful Life, Very more brilliant in fights.
Speaker 1: You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brian
Speaker 1: work media. I'll the Monday morning episode of podcasts. We've
Speaker 1: talked about my loose theory that that Home Alone is
Speaker 1: about an attempted, very late stage abortion, and I'd be
Speaker 1: curious to hear your thoughts. So I think I think
Speaker 1: she wants them gone. I think she wants them out
Speaker 1: of there. This is my read on that. Nineteen eighty
Speaker 1: four is George Horwell tweeted, if you aren't happy single,
Speaker 1: you won't be happy taken. Real happiness comes from the
Speaker 1: cheesecake factory, not relationships. That's just I think an important
Speaker 1: thing for all of us to remember at this time
Speaker 1: of year. Confined us on Twitter at daily zeike Geist,
Speaker 1: read the Daily zech guys on Instagram. We have a
Speaker 1: Facebook fan page or website Daily zechus dot com. We
Speaker 1: put her episode and our foot notes where we like
Speaker 1: off the information that we talked about in today's episode,
Speaker 1: as well as a song that we think you might enjoy.
Speaker 1: Super producer Justin Cummer, is there a song that you
Speaker 1: think people might enjoy?
Speaker 6: Yeah, in lieu of heavy handed Christmas themed music, I'm
Speaker 6: gonna recommend something more my speed, but the title is
Speaker 6: appropriate for the season. This is a laid back Neil
Speaker 6: soul jam called Cold Air by The Hicks, and you
Speaker 6: can find that song in the footnotes footnotes.
Speaker 1: The Daily Zeitge is a production by Heart Radio. For
Speaker 1: more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you find podcasts for free. That's gonna do
Speaker 1: it for us. Today. We're back this afternoon. I think
Speaker 1: we're gonna put out one of our best of the
Speaker 1: year top five episodes of the year and this afternoon
Speaker 1: and then more fun holiday themed year end themed stuff
Speaker 1: coming in the coming days. But have a great holiday everyone,
Speaker 1: and we will talk to you live in the new year.
Speaker 1: We'll see the bye Happy winter, Sisteh.