Speaker 1: You're gonna motherfuck everybody, and that's not our fault, it's
Speaker 1: your fault. Calm down with Erin and Carissa is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio. Hi doll, Oh my god, I look
Speaker 1: like death. Well you don't, don't you don't. I look purple.
Speaker 2: I was just saying, because we're just jumping right into it.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I am today because this is.
Speaker 1: My shirt that came out of the dryer, and you
Speaker 1: know I'm a big vintage tea gel Oh keem go.
Speaker 2: Hi, welcome everybody to the pre game.
Speaker 1: Hi, welcome. Ten minutes of fun. What day is it? It's
Speaker 1: not important. And then for the big show we will
Speaker 1: get into more of all the activities for the week.
Speaker 1: But I said, before we came on, she said, you
Speaker 1: were saying, why am I talking for you? You were holding
Speaker 1: Mac and oh. Our boss called, and I was trying
Speaker 1: to be a good mother because I just got home.
Speaker 1: I've been gone for four days in Philadelphia and I
Speaker 1: just got home and I was like, okay, I'm home
Speaker 1: for an hour and a half before we have to
Speaker 1: do the podcast and be really present. Well, the boss called,
Speaker 1: I don't want to like be like throw the kid
Speaker 1: to the nanny. So I'm trying to, you know, do
Speaker 1: what mothers do and just do two things at once.
Speaker 1: And while he's talking to me about business, Mac pisses
Speaker 1: himself and then he puked.
Speaker 2: Oh my shirt, So whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I just put out this little whereby EA
Speaker 1: pullover on that'll mask all puke and piss and stay
Speaker 1: fashionable and comfortable, all while rooting on your team at
Speaker 1: the same time. Go to NFL shop dot com or
Speaker 1: fanatics dot com swipe up what up girl? Okay here,
Speaker 1: I'm going to pull up our pregame questions because I
Speaker 1: haven't even done that yet, so I'm excited. Okay, you
Speaker 1: start go grump Pass sixty nine. I don't know if
Speaker 1: there's a hidden meeting in that, because I'm terrible about this.
Speaker 1: Would either one of you like to do an overseas game, Yes,
Speaker 1: you got to do one with my crew?
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: I did a game in Life London years ago because
Speaker 1: Aaron was working baseball and football and so I filled
Speaker 1: in for her and it was so much fun. They
Speaker 1: still say it's one of their best games ever. And
Speaker 1: I was like, fine, we'll just ask her to do
Speaker 1: this season. Then you don't need me. Fine, I heard
Speaker 1: two things. She had great outfits and a lot of luggage.
Speaker 1: Well that was because there was a time in my
Speaker 1: life I had a lot of baggage. Those were emotions
Speaker 1: in that second bags were stolen. Who exactly? I'm still
Speaker 1: waiting for that coach to be a return. I hate Mercury.
Speaker 1: The game was fantastic, but I would love to do
Speaker 1: a game in Germany. You guys, you have to how
Speaker 1: come you haven't had one since then? That was like
Speaker 1: a decade ago that I filled in for you. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure what the wait for it logistics are, but
Speaker 1: for some reason, the NFL network is doing all of them.
Speaker 1: I don't know why we don't get them. I will
Speaker 1: tell you what was pretty great though, and we could
Speaker 1: talk about this on the Big Show. Was that woke
Speaker 1: up on the East coast. We got an extra hour
Speaker 1: of sleep. I'll get in to our dinner festivities on
Speaker 1: the Big Show.
Speaker 2: Wow, Aurora on third. I'm sorry Aroma on third, but
Speaker 2: I hold up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I woke up on Sunday morning and the game
Speaker 1: started at nine point thirty. We had an extra hour
Speaker 1: of sleep. All of us were in our jammi's in
Speaker 1: the meeting room watching it.
Speaker 2: Together. It was so fun. Oh that's really cute.
Speaker 1: Okay, save the good stuff for the big show, because
Speaker 1: that'll just make you guys tune in on Thursday. Here
Speaker 1: we go pregame ten Minutes of Fun where we answer
Speaker 1: your guys' questions again. You can submit anonymously if you
Speaker 1: do not want to list your actual handle name. Captain
Speaker 1: Bigwood has a question for us, Yeah, he does. Can
Speaker 1: rival fans date Eagles fans and Coboys fans? Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1: It's like if your house is like divided, if one's
Speaker 1: a liberal on's you know, a Republican. I feel like
Speaker 1: that might be a little bit more difficult controversial in
Speaker 1: terms of politics. But yeah, I mean they always call
Speaker 1: it a house divided. I remember, I mean growing up
Speaker 1: in Seattle, it was like half the house of my
Speaker 1: house was washed and huskies and half of them were cougars,
Speaker 1: so not actual cougars. Me like, yeah, yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Washington State. So yeah, great, thank you can. No,
Speaker 1: I'm fine with it.
Speaker 2: Also.
Speaker 1: Side note, music at Eagles games fire just fire, Like
Speaker 1: the atmosphere great, like just the lights go off after
Speaker 1: a touchdown and you're like, oh my god, what's going on.
Speaker 1: It's just great you got Dom. The security guard shout
Speaker 1: out to Dom with the eagles. It's just the fucking man, like.
Speaker 2: What's dobup to Dom? Spirit right?
Speaker 1: Getting us hit our restaurant reservations? His wife on the sideline,
Speaker 1: it comes say hi to me in her ct cute
Speaker 1: little teddy bear dress with her little Swede like boots,
Speaker 1: and I just eagles are great, but I mean so
Speaker 1: were cowboys. But it was just I hadn't been there
Speaker 1: in a why it was fine. It was a good time,
Speaker 1: really cute.
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, So the answer to that question is sure,
Speaker 2: you can't.
Speaker 1: Sure? Next Oh, I'll let you handle this one, Okay,
Speaker 1: Chris Vaspin, when do you start decorating?
Speaker 2: My beauty has already done it? When did that go
Speaker 2: up yesterday?
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you why I already I First
Speaker 1: of all, for the last few years, it's been well documented,
Speaker 1: I have been the Grinch who stole Christmas, and I've
Speaker 1: been very unhappy in my life. So now that I'm happy,
Speaker 1: it's joy to the world in my falla la la lackhup.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to be gone and busy the next
Speaker 1: few weekends, and then I leave for Thanksgiving, and so
Speaker 1: I'm like, why am I gonna be smart?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: So on Saturday, I said Steve, we've got half the day.
Speaker 1: Let's go out that cherry out of storage and let's
Speaker 1: just get going. We ordered eggnog, we got a little
Speaker 1: tip tip tipsy and decorated together and we had the
Speaker 1: best time. And it's fucking seven hundred degrees outside and
Speaker 1: my bikini.
Speaker 2: Literally, I was like, shut the doors and turn on
Speaker 2: the ac. We're gonna pretend that it's freezing inside this house.
Speaker 2: But it was.
Speaker 1: And so now all my decorations are up. I don't
Speaker 1: have a ton, but like, I just feel like I've
Speaker 1: already like I'm gonna be really organized this year. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get my Christmas shopping done early. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: everything because I just I'm over rushing around and then
Speaker 1: you know that feeling I'm Gonnactually, I want to save
Speaker 1: this with the big show where you're rifling through shit
Speaker 1: looking for gifts because you found that one gift for someone.
Speaker 1: Now you're like, I know there's a bottle of wine
Speaker 1: around here somewhere that's not ten dollars.
Speaker 2: But I went on.
Speaker 1: My for my six hour flight today, which I feel
Speaker 1: like I should be in Paris by the time I landed,
Speaker 1: but I was at Lax. I looked at Oprah's Favorite
Speaker 1: Things list to start getting some mykeyas going. I got
Speaker 1: already one idea for mom and dad, but it's not
Speaker 1: very glamorous and I can't say what it is because
Speaker 1: my dad is an avid.
Speaker 2: Listener, So there you go.
Speaker 1: I also love when Steve Andrews text us suggestions of
Speaker 1: shows to watch and you never reminded.
Speaker 2: Oh she got on the side.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I didn't because you asked on
Speaker 1: the podcast. It was so cute. So our health slights
Speaker 1: are going up this week. Jared asked me when I
Speaker 1: was on, said is it too soon? I said no,
Speaker 1: it's the same way. It's like it's November, What the
Speaker 1: hell is it?
Speaker 2: Six?
Speaker 1: And before we know it? I mean, yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: so early. You gotta do it. No, the half half happiest.
Speaker 2: No one's going anywhere.
Speaker 1: Christiano one oh fives it ends, Thank God, cut them
Speaker 1: or leave them be. I'm so glad you asked this
Speaker 1: question because my hair is soaking wet right now. I
Speaker 1: finally drug my ass the gym because I haven't been
Speaker 1: going and I've been just like not feeling the best,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, all right, get your ass
Speaker 1: to the gym. You're paying for a membership every month.
Speaker 2: It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: So I just did a circuit. I did twenty minutes
Speaker 1: on the on the whatever staremaster thing. I did twenty
Speaker 1: minutes intervals running back and for like I do the
Speaker 1: speed up, speed down, and then just some weights, and
Speaker 1: I was it's disgusting how out of shape I am
Speaker 1: right now. Anyways, I took a shower and I remember thinking,
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to tell you about this
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I'm at that point in the season
Speaker 1: which I get bored the way I look, and I
Speaker 1: was about to I was like, if I had scissors
Speaker 1: up here, I'm Chris, look at all this breakage that's
Speaker 1: happening with the story of my life. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, why don't I just cut bangs. I was like,
Speaker 1: they're so cute on some people, you're gonna hate it.
Speaker 2: I already have them.
Speaker 1: I know I'm getting them too. It's from my breakage
Speaker 1: as well. Oh my bang is great, she missed. So
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, Thank god, I don't
Speaker 1: have scissors up here because I would have had to
Speaker 1: explain to you.
Speaker 2: I know, but look at this.
Speaker 1: Make rose for your present. Don't cut your hair. Stop
Speaker 1: being crazy. Don't do that because I already know what's
Speaker 1: gonna happen to me. It's gonna be in your eyes
Speaker 1: for Thursday night football and you're gonna be pissed off
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna have to wear wait for it,
Speaker 1: a bret to hold it back, and you're gonna be
Speaker 1: annoyed and you're gonna motherfuck everybody. And that's not our fault.
Speaker 1: It's your fault that you cut them with kid scissors.
Speaker 1: All I can think of is Kelly Stafford when she
Speaker 1: cut bangs last year and we both said to her,
Speaker 1: what were you doing?
Speaker 2: And then now this is where I'm at. Don't do
Speaker 2: it for the way I look. I'm okay. Then change
Speaker 2: your nail color. Were a bigger hoop. Don't fucking cut
Speaker 2: your hair. Are you insane? Put that down? Put it down.
Speaker 1: She knows me so well. All I wear is hoops
Speaker 1: and change the nail color back. All right, Well, don't
Speaker 1: left my own devices. Steve is out of town, and
Speaker 1: so it's like, right now, I'm like, what else could
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 2: Don't you dare? Stop it all right?
Speaker 1: Cow friends col met, I don't know, friends call me
Speaker 1: dray oh jes, why.
Speaker 2: What about dry?
Speaker 1: Any advice for handling questions from family about finding a
Speaker 1: husband or having kids? Tell I'm to fuck off, but no,
Speaker 1: it's just a la la la la la la. Who
Speaker 1: no one's going anywhere.
Speaker 2: Bend over and I'll show you.
Speaker 1: This is so touchy. I'm so lucky because my parents
Speaker 1: didn't bug me about it. They just were like whatever.
Speaker 1: My parents said that when I called them and told
Speaker 1: him I got married, they go whatever. And then they
Speaker 1: said the same thing when I called them and said
Speaker 1: I was getting a divorced, they said whatever. Whatever's there's just
Speaker 1: literally like whatever with this fucking chick?
Speaker 2: Will my cup bangs? Whatever? So you think your brad
Speaker 2: pitt whatever?
Speaker 1: Whenever?
Speaker 2: Shouldn't I w that lyric?
Speaker 1: Ye? Anyways, I my parents are not that my I
Speaker 1: feel very lucky too.
Speaker 2: They're just happy like that.
Speaker 1: I'm alive still at this point, so I never had
Speaker 1: any of that nagging stuff. But you know, you see
Speaker 1: all the movies or like any of that stuff where
Speaker 1: it's like the parents are all up in your business,
Speaker 1: especially like moms like, when are you getting married when
Speaker 1: you have a kids? So sorry, friends, call me Dre.
Speaker 1: I got nothing for you there. All I would say
Speaker 1: is this is just be like, I'm on my own path,
Speaker 1: and the more you press me on it, the longer
Speaker 1: it's going to be, and the more frustrated I'm going
Speaker 1: to get.
Speaker 2: So please just let me do my own thing right,
Speaker 2: the more anxiety you're giving me.
Speaker 1: My dad one time tried to give me advice on dating,
Speaker 1: and I said, Dad, I take all your advice. And
Speaker 1: I think I've said this before. I said, but I'm
Speaker 1: not going to take your advice on dating. You met
Speaker 1: mom when you were eleven years old. You guys got
Speaker 1: married when you were eighteen. You have never dated, so
Speaker 1: I'm not going to take advice from you in a
Speaker 1: category that you have never experienced.
Speaker 2: So call me Dre. I would say, tell your.
Speaker 1: Parents to relax. I feel you what else we got here?
Speaker 1: Lisa man A Lisa in the culture. Wait, I have
Speaker 1: a little story. I can't give up the name or
Speaker 1: likeness is that it anyways, But we have somebody on
Speaker 1: our crew that's a little older that's dating and he's
Speaker 1: dating a girl kind of the same age in the forties,
Speaker 1: so that's me. And he was saying that this experience
Speaker 1: is a little interesting because she's very forthcoming and very
Speaker 1: blunt with questions. She wants answers to things like tell
Speaker 1: me about and he's like, this is like a lot
Speaker 1: of all at once. And I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't blame her. She's probably like, I've been doing
Speaker 1: this shit for a while. I want to knock out
Speaker 1: the crap. I want to go through my checklist and
Speaker 1: see if you're worth the time all the things. I
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of time to waste. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is what happens when you don't date twenty year olds.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know. I was into it.
Speaker 1: I think that's totally fine. We ain't got no time
Speaker 1: to waste it that much. I agree, But.
Speaker 2: He's used to dating younger girls. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Well, I would equate it to this when you go
Speaker 1: to the doctor office and you're filling out the questionnaire.
Speaker 1: Do you have family history of this? Do you have
Speaker 1: any you know, have you had any surgeries? Have you
Speaker 1: had any this? We're just getting all the information out there.
Speaker 1: Why are we making the doctor guess what you have
Speaker 1: or you haven't had in your life.
Speaker 2: Right now, I don't blame it.
Speaker 1: So we can give the best diagnosis, okay, and create
Speaker 1: a clean bill of health and you can have a
Speaker 1: happy relationship because I'm going to tell you from experience
Speaker 1: what I don't want to have happened. I don't want
Speaker 1: you saying that these wedding rings were free and clear
Speaker 1: of debt, because they're not. And then I'm going to
Speaker 1: find out later that you took out a loan. So
Speaker 1: let's just put all the information on the table and
Speaker 1: then I get all the sirens on a table or out,
Speaker 1: and we got a full house and a royal flush.
Speaker 1: So yeah, take that double down and circle around fuck that, yep.
Speaker 1: I need full transparency. Lift up that hood to the car.
Speaker 1: Is this a lemon or is it not? I know
Speaker 1: we make lemons out of time, but I want to
Speaker 1: answer this question because I feel strong about it.
Speaker 2: Lisa van der Veer, nail Salon's awkward or relaxing.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you the asshole that busts out their
Speaker 1: phone and talking on it at the nail salon, can
Speaker 1: you just like read the room, put the thing away,
Speaker 1: do the quick little whisper I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm getting my nails done. Can I call you back?
Speaker 1: Like like stop, I don't want to hear. And also
Speaker 1: this goes right along with the girl that's facetiming but
Speaker 1: doesn't have headphones on, so I hear the other person's conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm not interested. I'm in a nail salon. I want
Speaker 1: to close my eyes for five seconds while they're ripping
Speaker 1: the shit out of my cuticles and asking me if
Speaker 1: I want my calluses done and I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know anyone that does, because you know what,
Speaker 1: I just don't. I don't want anyone shaving anything in there.
Speaker 1: All that thought, I have so many things to discuss
Speaker 1: because you know my affinity for a nail salon.
Speaker 2: Join us on the Big Show for.
Speaker 1: All things Palaces, dating in your forties and lifting up
Speaker 1: the hood to find out what's under there. And also
Speaker 1: I'm going to tease something for the big Show. I
Speaker 1: got a little something something I'm gonna be on next
Speaker 1: week and I'm excited for everyone to watch.
Speaker 2: End of view. So check out the Big Show so
Speaker 2: I can tell you where I'm going to be.
Speaker 1: Now you need to tease this hair, all right, Bye.
Speaker 1: Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.