WEBVTT - Don't talk yourself into it

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that you shouldn't talk yourself into things.

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<v Speaker 1>If you keep trying to come up with reasons to

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<v Speaker 1>do something that might be a sign that you don't

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<v Speaker 1>actually want to do it, you can save yourself a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of time and bother by just saying no. I

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<v Speaker 1>know that Before Breakfast listeners are productive and ambitious people,

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm sure you have opportunities coming to you all

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<v Speaker 1>the time. It is certainly flattering to have people reach

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<v Speaker 1>out to you with prestigious professional and personal options. You

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<v Speaker 1>know that lots of people would love to do these things. Indeed,

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<v Speaker 1>there are plenty people who spend a lot of time

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<v Speaker 1>and energy pitching themselves for these opportunities that just land

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<v Speaker 1>in your lap. And so I imagine you have had

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<v Speaker 1>versions of this conversation with yourself in your head. M

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<v Speaker 1>It wouldn't take too much time. It might introduce me

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<v Speaker 1>to interesting people. I've been thinking about branching out into

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<v Speaker 1>that area. I'll probably learn something about X, Y or Z. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>if you look at it on a per hour basis,

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<v Speaker 1>it's pretty reasonable that might look good if I ever

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<v Speaker 1>try applying for X, Y or Z and so on.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying these arguments aren't true, but here's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>When we truly want to do something, we don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to hunt around for explanations of why we really should

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<v Speaker 1>want to do it. Your best friends scores front road

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<v Speaker 1>tickets on the fifty yard line to see your favorite

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<v Speaker 1>football team play their top rival. You're thinking logistics, not rationales.

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<v Speaker 1>CEO of your company taps you to lead your dream project.

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<v Speaker 1>You're already hiring for your team in your mind, not

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<v Speaker 1>asking if it's the right thing to do. Yes. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>we feel nervous about things, and we need to address

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<v Speaker 1>those nerves. But there's a difference between those inner explanations

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<v Speaker 1>where you are arguing with yourself that you shouldn't do something,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's inner arguments when you're arguing that you should.

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<v Speaker 1>I think we need to look at both of these critically.

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<v Speaker 1>So instead of trying to talk yourself into things, try

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<v Speaker 1>to other tactics first, and especially if the work for

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<v Speaker 1>this opportunity will be happening a while in the future,

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<v Speaker 1>ask yourself, if you would do it tomorrow, would you

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<v Speaker 1>be willing to get on a plane or cold called

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<v Speaker 1>twenty people or whatever it is tomorrow. If the answer

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<v Speaker 1>is no, you are not going to magically be more

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<v Speaker 1>excited in two months when this opportunity comes to fruition.

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<v Speaker 1>So be kind to your future self and say no. Second,

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<v Speaker 1>figure out what else you could do with the time.

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<v Speaker 1>When people are asked to do something, they often compare

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<v Speaker 1>that too nothing and most things look better than nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>But that is not the right comparison. You are a

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<v Speaker 1>productive and ambitious person. You could definitely arrange some awesome

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<v Speaker 1>things in your life if you tried to. If you

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<v Speaker 1>don't go give that talk to people who might theoretically

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<v Speaker 1>be useful, You could go visit your best friend's family instead.

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<v Speaker 1>You could take an overnight hiking trip somewhere beautiful. You

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<v Speaker 1>could spend a day fully focused on deep work and

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<v Speaker 1>strategic planning for your career. Those are all pretty amazing ideas.

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<v Speaker 1>Is this opportunity better than that? Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

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<v Speaker 1>If the answer is no, then pay attention to how

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<v Speaker 1>much explaining you are doing to yourself. You don't need

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<v Speaker 1>to talk yourself into things. Just use this script. Thank

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<v Speaker 1>you so much for thinking of me. Unfortunately I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>going to be able to take this on, but I

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<v Speaker 1>wish you the best of luck with the project. Then

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<v Speaker 1>go use the time for something else your future self well.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look

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<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

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<v Speaker 1>of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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