1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:20,080 Speaker 1: Today's tip is that you shouldn't talk yourself into things. 4 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: If you keep trying to come up with reasons to 5 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: do something that might be a sign that you don't 6 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: actually want to do it, you can save yourself a 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: lot of time and bother by just saying no. I 8 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: know that Before Breakfast listeners are productive and ambitious people, 9 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: so I'm sure you have opportunities coming to you all 10 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: the time. It is certainly flattering to have people reach 11 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: out to you with prestigious professional and personal options. You 12 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: know that lots of people would love to do these things. Indeed, 13 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: there are plenty people who spend a lot of time 14 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: and energy pitching themselves for these opportunities that just land 15 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 1: in your lap. And so I imagine you have had 16 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: versions of this conversation with yourself in your head. M 17 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: It wouldn't take too much time. It might introduce me 18 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 1: to interesting people. I've been thinking about branching out into 19 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: that area. I'll probably learn something about X, Y or Z. Well, 20 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: if you look at it on a per hour basis, 21 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: it's pretty reasonable that might look good if I ever 22 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: try applying for X, Y or Z and so on. 23 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: I'm not saying these arguments aren't true, but here's the thing. 24 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: When we truly want to do something, we don't have 25 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: to hunt around for explanations of why we really should 26 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: want to do it. Your best friends scores front road 27 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: tickets on the fifty yard line to see your favorite 28 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: football team play their top rival. You're thinking logistics, not rationales. 29 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: CEO of your company taps you to lead your dream project. 30 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: You're already hiring for your team in your mind, not 31 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 1: asking if it's the right thing to do. Yes. Sometimes 32 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: we feel nervous about things, and we need to address 33 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 1: those nerves. But there's a difference between those inner explanations 34 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: where you are arguing with yourself that you shouldn't do something, 35 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 1: and there's inner arguments when you're arguing that you should. 36 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: I think we need to look at both of these critically. 37 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: So instead of trying to talk yourself into things, try 38 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: to other tactics first, and especially if the work for 39 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: this opportunity will be happening a while in the future, 40 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: ask yourself, if you would do it tomorrow, would you 41 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: be willing to get on a plane or cold called 42 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: twenty people or whatever it is tomorrow. If the answer 43 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: is no, you are not going to magically be more 44 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: excited in two months when this opportunity comes to fruition. 45 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: So be kind to your future self and say no. Second, 46 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: figure out what else you could do with the time. 47 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: When people are asked to do something, they often compare 48 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: that too nothing and most things look better than nothing, 49 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: But that is not the right comparison. You are a 50 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: productive and ambitious person. You could definitely arrange some awesome 51 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: things in your life if you tried to. If you 52 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: don't go give that talk to people who might theoretically 53 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: be useful, You could go visit your best friend's family instead. 54 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: You could take an overnight hiking trip somewhere beautiful. You 55 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: could spend a day fully focused on deep work and 56 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: strategic planning for your career. Those are all pretty amazing ideas. 57 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: Is this opportunity better than that? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. 58 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: If the answer is no, then pay attention to how 59 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: much explaining you are doing to yourself. You don't need 60 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: to talk yourself into things. Just use this script. Thank 61 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: you so much for thinking of me. Unfortunately I'm not 62 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 1: going to be able to take this on, but I 63 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 1: wish you the best of luck with the project. Then 64 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: go use the time for something else your future self well. 65 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: Thank you. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, 66 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 67 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 68 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 69 00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod 70 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 71 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 72 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled 73 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look 74 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:24,479 Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production 75 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 76 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 77 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.