Speaker 1: Welcome to Becheler Happy Hours Golden Hour. We are back
Speaker 1: and thank you again for joining us.
Speaker 2: If you haven't listened to our episode from Wednesday yet,
Speaker 2: you really need to check it out. We have the
Speaker 2: wonderful Kelsey Anderson on who is a Joey's fiance and
Speaker 2: is she not the most amazing person?
Speaker 1: Way mature beyond her years, I mean, and beautiful in
Speaker 1: the hair? How about her hair?
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't stop talking about her hair, But I mean,
Speaker 2: wouldn't you love to have the life that they're having.
Speaker 2: They're talking about moving to New York. They've been in
Speaker 2: Hawaii and Portugal, and I mean they are living their
Speaker 2: best life, truly, absolutely, and I just hope that they
Speaker 2: continue to do so.
Speaker 1: They're all over the place, but don't they?
Speaker 2: I mean, she just seems so happy to me. Did
Speaker 2: you love the part about teaching Joey about skincare?
Speaker 1: I know, and he's very interested because I saw them
Speaker 1: on Instagram with the iPads and so on. But wait,
Speaker 1: how about she's the baby and the first one to
Speaker 1: be engaged.
Speaker 2: Can you believe?
Speaker 1: It's so cute?
Speaker 2: And then did you hear she wants to have she
Speaker 2: wants to be an Auntie and I did not know
Speaker 2: that she wants to adopt children. I cannot.
Speaker 1: Did you said adopt at least one and then have one?
Speaker 2: Why I think she should adopt one or two and
Speaker 2: have two or three of her own.
Speaker 1: Oh? Wait, two is good, Joey, two is good. I'm
Speaker 1: with you.
Speaker 2: Remember man to man to his own defense.
Speaker 1: And today we do have some great band questions. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to get into these, and don't forget. If
Speaker 1: you have a question for Kathy and I send them
Speaker 1: in go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour
Speaker 1: and we'll talk about them.
Speaker 2: We certainly will. We have our opinions. But before we
Speaker 2: do that, let's get started with today's question of the day.
Speaker 2: Are you ready, Susan?
Speaker 1: I sure, am all right.
Speaker 2: Everyone always says when you know you know, what does
Speaker 2: that feel like?
Speaker 1: Oh, it's a good feeling. When you know you know,
Speaker 1: I've think of a positive thing, right, or when you
Speaker 1: know you know it's a red flag and run. It
Speaker 1: could be quite the opposite.
Speaker 2: But I like, what if you know, but your partner
Speaker 2: doesn't you know the other person doesn't know.
Speaker 1: Oh that will suck.
Speaker 2: I know. I don't know how many times have you
Speaker 2: known like I knew with my husband. Do you know
Speaker 2: this is true story? When I met my husband, I
Speaker 2: was at a fraternity party. I had just turned eighteen.
Speaker 2: The drinking age was eighteen back then, and he was
Speaker 2: a college in New York State. And I went to
Speaker 2: this fraternity party with my roommate and everyone was drinking
Speaker 2: with red cups. And you just saw the sea of
Speaker 2: guys in a fratnity with red with the red silk cups.
Speaker 2: And I looked at this guy across the room and
Speaker 2: I said to my roommate, I'm going to marry that guy.
Speaker 2: I just had. I just had this connection.
Speaker 1: I remember that story.
Speaker 2: Yes I did, so, I knew.
Speaker 1: So when you know, you know people. But hopefully you
Speaker 1: both know that's exactly all right. You ready, let's get
Speaker 1: into it, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I love your podcast.
Speaker 1: I was married for twenty five years. My husband and
Speaker 1: I did not see eye the eye financially. It came
Speaker 1: to a head when he retired early without us having
Speaker 1: good financial footing. We opened a business which left us
Speaker 1: in a six figure debt, and then he moved out.
Speaker 1: Oh God, to top it off, our divorce was horrible.
Speaker 1: He sued me for alimony. I came through all of that, God,
Speaker 1: bless you. I met a man who treats me with
Speaker 1: so much love, devotion and respect. I am not sure why,
Speaker 1: but I feel really guilty. My ex has always struggled financially,
Speaker 1: and my role in the marriage was fix her. Oh,
Speaker 1: I know that feeling. I feel like I'm not able
Speaker 1: to move on freely unless I know my ex is okay.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to let this feeling go. Wow,
Speaker 1: I can't even know what I don't part it woman
Speaker 1: she is.
Speaker 2: There's so many questions I have. I mean, why it
Speaker 2: came to her head when you retired early without them
Speaker 2: having good financial footing, and then he suthes her for alimony.
Speaker 1: Because she made more money obviously, I mean, she's the
Speaker 1: bread winner now. But you found love. He's going to
Speaker 1: survive on his own. He already went through that. You
Speaker 1: can't fix.
Speaker 2: Him, that's the answer, Susan. You can't. You can only
Speaker 2: fix yourself. You can't fix anyone else.
Speaker 1: And gone, bless you. You found somebody that loves you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's you know. I don't want to sound harsh,
Speaker 2: but literally, you've come through six figure debt and he
Speaker 2: moved out. You've you've you've supported him as much as
Speaker 2: you could. It's now time for you have a little happiness.
Speaker 2: If he can't figure it out, that's not your problem.
Speaker 2: But I mean I think she it's.
Speaker 1: When she says, unless I know my ex is okay,
Speaker 1: she can't financially, what are you going to support him?
Speaker 2: I'm saying you to know he's okay if he's put
Speaker 2: them in debt and any he you know, she says,
Speaker 2: they don't see I financially. Obviously, this is not a
Speaker 2: new problem. I mean, how is exactly how is she
Speaker 2: going to make sure he's okay?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I wish you luck, honey, and
Speaker 1: be with the guy that loves you right now.
Speaker 2: You did lucky, right, How lucky she'd have found a
Speaker 2: guy that loves her. Don focus on that, Focus on
Speaker 2: the new love that you've found and let the rest
Speaker 2: take care of itself because you can't fix anybody else.
Speaker 1: And let the guilt go.
Speaker 2: Guilt is just a wasteful emotion, we wish. Okay, let
Speaker 2: me go to the next question. This is from anonymous. Okay, Hello,
Speaker 2: beautiful ladies, I need some wise advice and I couldn't
Speaker 2: think of anybody better to ask. Since my grandma has
Speaker 2: recently passed, she would have known exactly what to say
Speaker 2: on this topic. My boyfriend and I are twenty nine
Speaker 2: years old and have been together for almost five years.
Speaker 2: We are talking about taking the next step and getting
Speaker 2: engaged in the next year or so. Our relationship is
Speaker 2: honestly perfect, and I think he's the love of my life.
Speaker 2: We've lived together for three years and have the cutest
Speaker 2: fur baby together. I knew he was going to be
Speaker 2: my future husband from the second I laid eyes on him.
Speaker 2: Sounds like make of course, there was a catch. We've
Speaker 2: both been dealing with some medical issues that are making
Speaker 2: our sex nonexistent. We've tried almost everything, including working with
Speaker 2: our doctors, to resolve it, over the last two years,
Speaker 2: but it seems to only be getting worse. I want
Speaker 2: to marry this guy, and I do feel ready for
Speaker 2: that next step, But am I investing into a sexless marriage.
Speaker 2: Aren't they supposed to be our fun years. We're both attractive, spontaneous,
Speaker 2: fun loving people, so it's frustrating to only be having
Speaker 2: sex once every two months. I struggle with mixed feelings
Speaker 2: of being shallow and wanting to have a high sex
Speaker 2: drive partner. We are very affectionate, just missing the sex.
Speaker 2: We are big communicators and understand that both of us
Speaker 2: are feeling frustrated. I will take any and all advice.
Speaker 2: I love you ladies and look forward to your podcast
Speaker 2: every week. Well, thank you, Anonymous.
Speaker 1: Let me get this right. They were both struggling, right,
Speaker 1: and then she says she has a big sex drive.
Speaker 1: Are they just one struggling he he's struggling.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It is a bit confusing. She says
Speaker 2: that they've both been dealing with medical issues that are
Speaker 2: making their sex drive non existent. So to that end,
Speaker 2: you know, I could make a joke here that I've
Speaker 2: never known, but let's just move ahead. There are doctors
Speaker 2: that can help you with that. If neither one of
Speaker 2: you are interested in sex. There are doctors that you
Speaker 2: can go to.
Speaker 1: The go to doctors, they're saying, including working with our doctor.
Speaker 2: I mean a sex therapist. I'm a sex therapist.
Speaker 1: Whether if it's him that lost the desire or is
Speaker 1: it that he says?
Speaker 2: She says, they're both feeling frustrated. It sounds to me
Speaker 2: like they're both having the issue. But it's interesting to
Speaker 2: me that she said their relationship is honestly perfect. That
Speaker 2: you know, no relationship is perfect.
Speaker 1: Well, if she says it's perfect, it's perfect for her.
Speaker 1: So stay with the perfect and hopefully these medical issues
Speaker 1: can be resolved in the future and then you could
Speaker 1: go back to having great sex. I want to know,
Speaker 1: do you feel like if there was somebody else you
Speaker 1: would have great sex?
Speaker 2: Is it just yeah, I'm a little confused. Is medical issues?
Speaker 1: We need to know more, We need.
Speaker 2: To know more, you know. But here's here's here's one
Speaker 2: thing that I think you and I can both agree.
Speaker 2: They're young and if she's interested in sex, they better
Speaker 2: figure it out because that's something that could drive a
Speaker 2: wedge in their relationship.
Speaker 1: I very well could. I agree, and we wish you luck.
Speaker 1: But if you want to tell us a little more,
Speaker 1: maybe we can help you figure this out. But we
Speaker 1: wish you the best.
Speaker 2: Good luck.
Speaker 1: Okay, this one's from Katie. Hi, Susan and Kathy. I
Speaker 1: loved watching you both on The Golden Bachelor, and I'm
Speaker 1: so happy I get more of you on this podcast. Thanks.
Speaker 1: My question is this. I am thirty three with two
Speaker 1: little boys, a five year old and a twenty month
Speaker 1: old I've been blessed with an amazing job where I
Speaker 1: get to work from home and be a full time
Speaker 1: mom and a full time marketing director. The problem is,
Speaker 1: I never feel like I can be one hundred percent
Speaker 1: a good mom or one hundred percent a good employee. Recently,
Speaker 1: a great job opportunity popped up where I would be
Speaker 1: a teacher. I'd lose my flexibility I have now, but
Speaker 1: I get to separate work from home and have summers off.
Speaker 1: I think I want to take the job, but I'm
Speaker 1: being held down with guilt at losing time with my boys.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice? Yes, I did, so don't. Well,
Speaker 1: you need to do you You're going to be home
Speaker 1: in the summer with them, and that's a plus.
Speaker 2: Think that it's one of the biggest fallacies out there
Speaker 2: that anyone can be one hundred percent great mom and
Speaker 2: one hundred percent good employee. I think that women really
Speaker 2: have it tough. You know. Historically we've been asked to
Speaker 2: do it all right, and more and more, two family
Speaker 2: incomes are required, and so women. I mean my daughter,
Speaker 2: we talk about this all the time. She has a
Speaker 2: high pressure job and her daughter now is in daycare.
Speaker 2: You can't do it all, Katie. You can't be one
Speaker 2: hundred percent great mom, one hundred percent great employee. And oh,
Speaker 2: by the way, you didn't mention this, but you need
Speaker 2: to be a good wife and partner.
Speaker 1: And I don't know. Is she happily married. Maybe she's
Speaker 1: a single mom. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Does it say that, Oh you're right, it doesn't say that,
Speaker 2: so so maybe she is single. But the point is
Speaker 2: you can't do it all, and we as women are
Speaker 2: expected to sometimes to do it all. You got to
Speaker 2: cut yourself some slack here, Katie.
Speaker 1: And I want to know how you did full time mom,
Speaker 1: full time job at the same time that that has
Speaker 1: to be difficult.
Speaker 2: I don't know. My daughter has worked from home, and
Speaker 2: I don't know. You've got two kids crawling on you.
Speaker 2: I know. I mean, I'm guessing. I'm guessing one hundred
Speaker 2: percent good employee. Maybe is in her mind only, but
Speaker 2: I'm with you, Susan, Katie, take the teaching job. I taught.
Speaker 2: I loved having summers off.
Speaker 1: And you'll like getting out of the house. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you're going but fine, going to miss you in the beginning.
Speaker 1: It's going to be a struggle, but just know you'll
Speaker 1: get to spend three long months in the summer with them.
Speaker 1: I think that's and you.
Speaker 2: Know what, when you come home from work, it's better
Speaker 2: to have I think, you know, a couple of hours
Speaker 2: of really good quality time than you know eight hours
Speaker 2: where you're trying to juggle work and family and home.
Speaker 2: So that can take the great job. Take the great job,
Speaker 2: You'll be glad. Okay, Hi, Susan and Cathy. I really
Speaker 2: enjoy listening to your podcast. I work in healthcare and
Speaker 2: one of my patients brought to my attention a situation
Speaker 2: she is currently in. For some reason, it made me
Speaker 2: think of you both and was wondering what your advice
Speaker 2: would be. She is sixty one years old. She is
Speaker 2: a caregiver for a man who is eighty four years old.
Speaker 2: She lives with him, and both of them are single.
Speaker 2: They both have kids from their previous marriages. She loves
Speaker 2: her job and spending time with him. She told me
Speaker 2: at her appointment last week that her client has asked
Speaker 2: her to marry him. He does not have any ailments
Speaker 2: dementia included. He wants to leave his house to her
Speaker 2: and his money. Apparently, he doesn't have a good relationship
Speaker 2: with his kids. She was shocked, unsure if this is
Speaker 2: morally wrong. She admits he has treated her the nicest
Speaker 2: any man has ever. He has promised her it does
Speaker 2: have to be sexual either, just wants her to hold
Speaker 2: his hand while they watch TV. She has no idea
Speaker 2: what to do. I am dying to know what you
Speaker 2: both think. Love you both? Well, wow, that is a lot.
Speaker 2: What I think is.
Speaker 1: Okay, she's a caregiver, so obviously they're friends now because
Speaker 1: she's there all the time. I mean, do you have
Speaker 1: anything in your life other than this man?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: What about her personal life?
Speaker 2: She said? They both have kids from their previous marriages.
Speaker 1: They both have children, right, Okay, so she's not married
Speaker 1: and she's spending every minute with him, right, you know,
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, do you like him? Do you
Speaker 1: love him? Because I mean, yeah, life.
Speaker 2: Sounds very transactional to me. This sounds like, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't think this person would be asking the question
Speaker 2: if the guy had no money, it would be no,
Speaker 2: I've got my job. I'm taking care of him. But apparently,
Speaker 2: and I don't mean to again, I don't mean to
Speaker 2: sound harsh, but she says, is it morally wrong? I
Speaker 2: don't think morals come into it. It's it's maybe ethically
Speaker 2: there's a question of is it right to marry someone
Speaker 2: because you're going to gain financial Uh, you have financial
Speaker 2: gain from it.
Speaker 1: But well, you know people, the kids are going to
Speaker 1: say that that, yeah, this kid, but you know what,
Speaker 1: if he's got ironclad will, good luck.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's really harsh.
Speaker 1: I think she has ask herself how she feels about him?
Speaker 2: Right, well, did you hear in this that she loves
Speaker 2: him anywhere? I didn't hear it.
Speaker 1: No. I think he cares about her and he wants
Speaker 1: he cares.
Speaker 2: About her, and he wants to leave her the money.
Speaker 1: But you know what she's got.
Speaker 2: She doesn't have to marry him to do that. He
Speaker 2: can he can leave her money in his will. I
Speaker 2: think there's more to it. I think he wants that.
Speaker 2: I think he wants, he wants, he will, he wants
Speaker 2: someone that twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 1: But you got to ask your self, babe, how do
Speaker 1: you feel do you want to be with this man until.
Speaker 2: Twenty four hours a day?
Speaker 1: Yes, because you will be sorrying.
Speaker 2: For him twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 1: And don just stop worrying about the kids and people's opinions.
Speaker 1: It's it's about you what you want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I don't Susan, if will you come and
Speaker 2: take care of me?
Speaker 1: If I believe are you going to leave me all
Speaker 1: your money?
Speaker 2: What money?
Speaker 1: Okay? The next one's from Chloe and she says, Hi,
Speaker 1: Kathy and Susan, my husband really wants to have a
Speaker 1: second child. But the more time goes on, the more
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't What are your thoughts on
Speaker 1: how to navigate this. I know you're going to say communicate, Oh,
Speaker 1: they know us, Gott, but the problem is that we
Speaker 1: do talk about it. Ultimately, he says it's my decision,
Speaker 1: but I know he really really wants it. What would
Speaker 1: you do.
Speaker 2: Again? On these questions, we don't have enough information. I
Speaker 2: want to know why she doesn't want a second child.
Speaker 2: I mean, to me, that's important. If it's because her career,
Speaker 2: you know, is taken off and she doesn't want to
Speaker 2: go back to diapers or whatever, you know, if that's
Speaker 2: the issue, then then they can talk about what are
Speaker 2: the ways they could get help taking care of the baby.
Speaker 2: But if it's you know, I mean.
Speaker 1: It's a whole new ball game when you have more
Speaker 1: than one, it really is now you could talk about
Speaker 1: having an only child and what that means and think
Speaker 1: about that you don't want.
Speaker 2: Would you have wanted to? I would say to have
Speaker 2: another one, because I mean I had three children, Chloe,
Speaker 2: but I would not want my child to have all
Speaker 2: the responsibility of being an only child. And many of
Speaker 2: my friends who have had only children their kids are
Speaker 2: you know, they're older now, they have said they wish
Speaker 2: they had a sibling to share the responsibilities with.
Speaker 1: I just at one child. My husband's career. He was
Speaker 1: traveling everywhere in baseball, and I got pregnant again with twins,
Speaker 1: and I was in shock. I love them to death today,
Speaker 1: but it was hard. It was hard when you feel
Speaker 1: like that's all you want. It's a tough decision. But
Speaker 1: you and your husband absolutely should communicate.
Speaker 2: Right Did you and your husband talk about it?
Speaker 1: No, it was an accident.
Speaker 2: Oh so you really only wanted one child? Wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because of our lifestyle on how we moved around,
Speaker 1: and it was just going to be too hard and
Speaker 1: it was difficult. I don't regret my boys. I love
Speaker 1: my boys, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's fair. Do you think it's fair
Speaker 2: for Chloe's husband to say it's ultimately her decision. I
Speaker 2: just don't think that's fair either. That's not fair.
Speaker 1: Well, he doesn't want to be the one that she
Speaker 1: blames if she has a second child and says, see,
Speaker 1: see you made me do this, that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well you know what if, Chloe, if you decide
Speaker 2: to have a second child, and you make that decision,
Speaker 2: then you can never go back and say you made
Speaker 2: me do this, right, I don't know. I love kids,
Speaker 2: so I would say, Chloe, have a second one. Their blessings,
Speaker 2: they're fun, they're you know, don't There's always going to
Speaker 2: be more month than money, Chloe, So don't worry about that.
Speaker 1: We wish you a lot of luck and thank you
Speaker 1: to everyone who wrote in.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, Susan, we have time for one more?
Speaker 1: Whoa okay, so.
Speaker 2: Hold the phone. Roberto, who's twenty nine from Michigan High
Speaker 2: Golden Hour. I am writing in about my future father
Speaker 2: in law. My fiance and I have been together for
Speaker 2: five years and we're very much in love and looking
Speaker 2: forward to getting married. I am struggling with my future
Speaker 2: father in law though, because he is having a very
Speaker 2: hard time sharing his little girl with me. I am
Speaker 2: nothing but kind and respectful around their family, but he
Speaker 2: always finds a reason to pick on every little thing
Speaker 2: I do. He brings it up with his daughter, but
Speaker 2: never me, which puts us in a weird position. He
Speaker 2: feels like he raised the perfect woman and he's single
Speaker 2: now and I don't think he wants to share her
Speaker 2: with anyone, not just me. One time, he didn't speak
Speaker 2: to me for months and didn't tell me or his daughter.
Speaker 2: Why any idea on how to try to mend our
Speaker 2: relationship before the wedding. I want to feel better about
Speaker 2: all this on the wedding day and to feel like
Speaker 2: one family. I'm not taking this little girl from him.
Speaker 2: We all just love her.
Speaker 1: Oh poor guy, Oh my god. So does she know
Speaker 1: about this?
Speaker 2: He says? He says she didn't. He didn't talk to
Speaker 2: his fancy or him for months and they don't know why.
Speaker 2: I gotta say I had a similar relations a similar issue.
Speaker 2: My my husband was the oldest of three kids, and
Speaker 2: he his mom's favorite, and they did not like me
Speaker 2: coming along, and it was tough. It was tough in
Speaker 2: our marriage.
Speaker 1: What did you do.
Speaker 2: You know? I have to say I probably didn't handle
Speaker 2: it the best way. My husband was very respectful to
Speaker 2: his parents, and he loved his parents very much. But
Speaker 2: I remember him saying to them one day, saying to
Speaker 2: his mother, Mom, we've been married, I can't remember you
Speaker 2: thirty years. I love Kathy. Why can't you accept her?
Speaker 2: And she just looked at him and said, well, I do,
Speaker 2: But I mean and so I guess my answer is
Speaker 2: to you, Roberto, you may not be able to change
Speaker 2: your future father in law. He may just hold on
Speaker 2: to that. Hopefully, once you're married and he sees how
Speaker 2: you cherish his daughter, he will warm up to you.
Speaker 2: But like I repeatedly say, you can only change yourself.
Speaker 1: I would honestly have a talk with her and maybe
Speaker 1: they could approach the father together. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: speak your piece. I mean, she it sounds like she
Speaker 1: doesn't really know what's going on as much as he feels.
Speaker 1: And I don't blame you for feeling weird about it.
Speaker 1: I get it. You want to feel welcome, you want
Speaker 1: to feel a part of the family.
Speaker 2: You know, everybody talks about joining families. I mean, did
Speaker 2: you get along great with your in laws? I'm sure
Speaker 2: you did. Yeah, it's hard not everyone does. I mean,
Speaker 2: I love daughter in law.
Speaker 1: My daughter in laws are just precious. I have no issues.
Speaker 2: I know that's weird. You and I share that in common,
Speaker 2: don't we both love our in laws. Well, I wish
Speaker 2: you all the best, Roberto. I hope your wedding is
Speaker 2: the day that you want it to be, and that
Speaker 2: your marriage is the marriage you wanted to be.
Speaker 1: I know, or Daddy might lose this little girl. You know,
Speaker 1: there's always that too.
Speaker 2: Oh. Yes, make them pay too.
Speaker 1: I know you don't, but he needs to treat him
Speaker 1: with some respect. I mean, that's a shame that could
Speaker 1: cause problems.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we wish thank you to everyone who wrote in.
Speaker 2: We're wishing you guys the best, and if you want
Speaker 2: to send us a question, head to bachelornation dot com
Speaker 2: slash Golden Hour and submit yours. Now. We love hearing
Speaker 2: from you, so keep those questions coming.
Speaker 1: All right. Before we wrap up of the day, though,
Speaker 1: should we play a game of our moral quandary?
Speaker 2: What do you think?
Speaker 1: Kathy? Oh?
Speaker 2: I love this, I love it? All right, all right,
Speaker 2: let's do it. We'll switch off reading the quandary and
Speaker 2: we'll give our thoughts on what we would do. Okay,
Speaker 2: Susan you want to go ahead and start.
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go. You've been dating someone for a
Speaker 1: few months and things are going well. You discover that
Speaker 1: your partner had a criminal record from ten years ago.
Speaker 1: They've since turned their life around completely and all crimes
Speaker 1: were non violent. Do you confront them about it and
Speaker 1: does it change how you feel about continuing the relationship? Well,
Speaker 1: hell yeah, you confront them. You want to know what
Speaker 1: it was. First of all, how did you find that out?
Speaker 1: I mean communicate?
Speaker 2: Well, wait a minute, I mean, Susan, we're talking one
Speaker 2: DUI hear all the crimes? How many damn crimes were there?
Speaker 1: The partner had a criminal record from ten years ago?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think I would bring it up
Speaker 2: and ask It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
Speaker 2: It was ten years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and people do change. And like they said, it
Speaker 1: was nonviolent, so it could have been something stupid like
Speaker 1: a do ui. You're right?
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, be really serious, but yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: I would definitely got to confront him.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, All right.
Speaker 2: Here's the next one. All right, you were ghosted by
Speaker 2: someone you were dating for several months After a year,
Speaker 2: they come back and apologize profusely, wanting to rekindle the relationship.
Speaker 2: Do you give them another chance? You're single and looking
Speaker 2: everything was great until they ghosted you. Their excuse is
Speaker 2: that they were going through a tough time, but they
Speaker 2: don't elaborate further than that.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry, darling. No, no, no, new.
Speaker 2: No, Wait a minute.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't No, Oh, I would Why they don't elaborate
Speaker 1: they were going through a tough time. Well, you know what,
Speaker 1: call me and tell me you're going through a tough
Speaker 1: time before you ghost me.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait a minute. By definition, if they ghost you,
Speaker 2: they're not going to reach out and call you. But
Speaker 2: here's the thing, they don't elaborate further. Guess what they're
Speaker 2: going to do before I date them again. They're going
Speaker 2: to elaborate further. Yes, So I would give the guy
Speaker 2: a chance. I would give him a chance. I wouldn't say, Okay,
Speaker 2: you know, all's forgiven, let's start dating again. I would
Speaker 2: give him a chance and ask him to tell me
Speaker 2: what happened and why he goes. Didn't you? I think
Speaker 2: you would.
Speaker 1: I would want to know why. Yes, but he didn't
Speaker 1: once he may do it again. I don't know. No,
Speaker 1: I don't feel good about that one. I talked to
Speaker 1: him and hear his story and wish him luck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling that one. Okay, you're a teenager has
Speaker 1: been acting secretive and spending a lot of time on
Speaker 1: their phone. Do you go through their messages and social
Speaker 1: media accounts to ensure they are safe? So freaking lutely.
Speaker 2: So, I love you, Susan. You know what I say.
Speaker 2: I'm paying for the phone. Yes, I'm looking at it
Speaker 2: anytime I want, and you don't like it. I'm the parent.
Speaker 2: I think that's one of the issues today. Parents are
Speaker 2: sometimes afraid to parent. You're not your child's friend, you're the.
Speaker 1: Parent, and god forbid, they're getting themselves in some kind
Speaker 1: of trouble. I mean, you have to.
Speaker 2: Be there, right, I think that. I think you're absolutely right,
Speaker 2: and I think the fact even if they weren't I'm
Speaker 2: being honest, even if they weren't acting secretive. My deal,
Speaker 2: I mean my kids when they were teenagers, literally they
Speaker 2: didn't have cell phones because they weren't there until my youngest,
Speaker 2: you know, but they had beepers and my deal was
Speaker 2: my oldest one. I had a beeper what's that called?
Speaker 2: You know, like you yeah, a pager and if he
Speaker 2: didn't call me right back from a landline, which because
Speaker 2: that's what we had back then, he was in deep trouble.
Speaker 2: I don't care, like that's that's the deal. So I
Speaker 2: think parents, I know I'm probably gonna catch some flat
Speaker 2: for this, but do you agree with me, susan that
Speaker 2: you should always be able to go through your child's
Speaker 2: phone at any time?
Speaker 1: And they're definitely not going to like it, but you
Speaker 1: got to keep an eye on them. They're teen agers.
Speaker 1: They make mistakes and their brains are not fully formed,
Speaker 1: and you're there to guide and help. They're gonna hate
Speaker 1: you for it. Trust and believe me. And my daughter
Speaker 1: just went through it. I'm like whoa. And she's telling
Speaker 1: me the things that her daughter was saying.
Speaker 2: I was like owls Okay. I got to ask you
Speaker 2: what age? I mean, we have grandkids? What age would
Speaker 2: you get a child phone?
Speaker 1: Oh? Today? In today's world?
Speaker 2: If you had kids today, how old would they be
Speaker 2: if you gave a phone? Ten?
Speaker 1: Twelve? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So give me a grade? What grade?
Speaker 1: Six? Middle school?
Speaker 2: Yeah? See, I'm again people aren't gonna like this. I
Speaker 2: don't think children need phones in middle school. If I
Speaker 2: were the educationals are they would there would be no
Speaker 2: phones at all in schools.
Speaker 1: High school. There shouldn't be phones in schools. There shouldn't,
Speaker 1: but they should have one in their back. Why not
Speaker 1: to take them to class of course, to call home,
Speaker 1: to call for the rive people. There's two working parents.
Speaker 2: How did you and I? How did you and I
Speaker 2: make it without cell phones?
Speaker 1: Katy? Times have changed?
Speaker 2: Okay, I just think I think young kids phones are
Speaker 2: trouble and there's just too much on the internet. I
Speaker 2: think it's asking too much. But I'm sure people aren'ting
Speaker 2: to agree on this. But that's why you and I
Speaker 2: love each other.
Speaker 1: We have different but definitely check it. Definitely you're in
Speaker 1: charge of that phone.
Speaker 2: Yep, for sure.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay.
Speaker 2: Your boyfriend of six years gets an amazing job offer
Speaker 2: in a different country. You've just started to settle into
Speaker 2: your current city and love your own job. Do you
Speaker 2: uproot your life to support their career or ask them
Speaker 2: to reconsider the move for your sake?
Speaker 1: Well, that depends on how many commas are in the
Speaker 1: figure that demand's going to make.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I thought you were going to go with
Speaker 2: where I was going. Your boyfriend of six years? What
Speaker 2: are you married, I mean, are living together? You know,
Speaker 2: why haven't you made that.
Speaker 1: Country? That's always exciting. It depends on how old you are,
Speaker 1: where you're at in your own career, where he's at.
Speaker 1: But if it's a big, huge thing, it's an experience.
Speaker 2: I know, see you and I that's the difference. We
Speaker 2: have lived long enough that if that opportunity came our way,
Speaker 2: we'd be like, hell yeah, the suitcase would be packed
Speaker 2: and you know, loaded for the airport before it get
Speaker 2: they had time to reconsider.
Speaker 1: But it does depend on a lot of how old
Speaker 1: are you right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean, do you want to marry this person?
Speaker 2: Or do you want to live with this person? Do
Speaker 2: you uproot your life? I don't know. Do you want
Speaker 2: to spend the rest of your life with this guy
Speaker 2: or this woman? Whoever it is. You know, it's an
Speaker 2: amazing job offer. Is your job so fabulous and you
Speaker 2: work remotely? Can you get another job? Do you are
Speaker 2: you going to be resentful? I mean yeah, if it were.
Speaker 1: You six year six year boyfriend, that's I mean.
Speaker 2: Maybe they don't go get married, maybe they don't want to.
Speaker 1: Be maybe they just live together or do they live together?
Speaker 2: But that's a thing you, But you and I can
Speaker 2: agree we'd be packed and ready to go.
Speaker 1: It depends on the country, of course.
Speaker 2: Okay, well there's there's there's.
Speaker 1: A few I might not want.
Speaker 2: To go to. I don't know, all right, amazing.
Speaker 1: Sweetheart, Do you and once again communicate with them? You know,
Speaker 1: see how big of a job this is already. So
Speaker 1: you discover that a colleague is taking credit for work
Speaker 1: you've done which has led to them receiving a promotion,
Speaker 1: do you confront them or go directly to your boss
Speaker 1: risking workplace harmony? Oh go, what a jerk?
Speaker 2: Well, there's always two sides of the guy sing that
Speaker 2: maybe it was a group project. We don't know all
Speaker 2: the details. But I can tell you what I wouldn't do.
Speaker 2: I would not go to the boss, and I would
Speaker 2: not confront the person because, you know what, the other
Speaker 2: person already has the promotion, so that ship has sailed.
Speaker 2: I would make sure that I am front and center
Speaker 2: on other projects and that my boss takes notice of
Speaker 2: me so that the next promotion is mine.
Speaker 1: I feel a little bit differently. I agree with not
Speaker 1: running to the boss and be a little snitch tattletale,
Speaker 1: but I will definitely confront him in a quiet place
Speaker 1: that nobody sees you. But you need to let him
Speaker 1: know that you're aware. Watch out, bitch, because I'm on you.
Speaker 1: How dare you? How dare you? She worked harder? They
Speaker 1: worked hard for this. We don't know the situation. Was
Speaker 1: it a team effort maybe that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: If it was a team that project, maybe you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, we only know.
Speaker 1: But she says, you discovered that a colleague is taking
Speaker 1: credit for work that you've done. Boom right there.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what if if if there's no documentation,
Speaker 2: I feel sorry for the boss because the boss probably
Speaker 2: you know, isn't isn't a detail oriented If they're not
Speaker 2: taking notice of that, I don't know that that's a
Speaker 2: tough one, but it is. I definitely would make sure
Speaker 2: that the work you do in the future, there's ways
Speaker 2: to make your boss aware of the work you're doing.
Speaker 1: But this happened, so what I said.
Speaker 2: The ship had sailed, so you know, it's not going
Speaker 2: to do anything. Bring it up.
Speaker 1: And I don't like people like that, but you know what,
Speaker 1: karma is a bitch.
Speaker 2: Did it ever happen to you?
Speaker 1: No? No, And I've never done that to anybody either.
Speaker 1: I would always give somebody credit, even if I helped
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. You know. I love the way people
Speaker 1: just write in and they're frustrated, they don't know what
Speaker 1: to do, and that's why we're here. Sometimes we can't
Speaker 1: give you the best answers, but we will give you
Speaker 1: our opinions, right.
Speaker 2: You know what I what I noticed, Susan, is that
Speaker 2: you and I give I think different answers now than
Speaker 2: we would have when we were in our twenties or thirties.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, you.
Speaker 2: Know it's what is that? What is that youth is
Speaker 2: wasted on the young?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: It is? Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, then well that does it for this episode. And
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us today on Bachelor
Speaker 1: Happy Hours Golden Hour.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you guys so much, and be sure to
Speaker 2: subscribe as we have new episodes and fabulous guests coming
Speaker 2: out every week that you won't want to.
Speaker 1: Miss, and make sure to submit your questions to us.
Speaker 1: Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and send
Speaker 1: them in.
Speaker 2: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the Heart
Speaker 2: Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts, See you next,
Speaker 2: mm hmm