WEBVTT - We Believe in You!

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Becheler Happy Hours Golden Hour. We are back

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<v Speaker 1>and thank you again for joining us.

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<v Speaker 2>If you haven't listened to our episode from Wednesday yet,

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<v Speaker 2>you really need to check it out. We have the

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<v Speaker 2>wonderful Kelsey Anderson on who is a Joey's fiance and

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<v Speaker 2>is she not the most amazing person?

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<v Speaker 1>Way mature beyond her years, I mean, and beautiful in

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<v Speaker 1>the hair? How about her hair?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I can't stop talking about her hair, But I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>wouldn't you love to have the life that they're having.

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<v Speaker 2>They're talking about moving to New York. They've been in

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<v Speaker 2>Hawaii and Portugal, and I mean they are living their

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<v Speaker 2>best life, truly, absolutely, and I just hope that they

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<v Speaker 2>continue to do so.

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<v Speaker 1>They're all over the place, but don't they?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, she just seems so happy to me. Did

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<v Speaker 2>you love the part about teaching Joey about skincare?

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<v Speaker 1>I know, and he's very interested because I saw them

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<v Speaker 1>on Instagram with the iPads and so on. But wait,

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<v Speaker 1>how about she's the baby and the first one to

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<v Speaker 1>be engaged.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you believe?

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<v Speaker 1>It's so cute?

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<v Speaker 2>And then did you hear she wants to have she

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<v Speaker 2>wants to be an Auntie and I did not know

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<v Speaker 2>that she wants to adopt children. I cannot.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you said adopt at least one and then have one?

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<v Speaker 2>Why I think she should adopt one or two and

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<v Speaker 2>have two or three of her own.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Wait, two is good, Joey, two is good. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>with you.

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<v Speaker 2>Remember man to man to his own defense.

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<v Speaker 1>And today we do have some great band questions. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't wait to get into these, and don't forget. If

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<v Speaker 1>you have a question for Kathy and I send them

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<v Speaker 1>in go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour

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<v Speaker 1>and we'll talk about them.

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<v Speaker 2>We certainly will. We have our opinions. But before we

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<v Speaker 2>do that, let's get started with today's question of the day.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you ready, Susan?

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<v Speaker 1>I sure, am all right.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone always says when you know you know, what does

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<v Speaker 2>that feel like?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's a good feeling. When you know you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've think of a positive thing, right, or when you

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<v Speaker 1>know you know it's a red flag and run. It

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<v Speaker 1>could be quite the opposite.

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<v Speaker 2>But I like, what if you know, but your partner

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't you know the other person doesn't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that will suck.

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<v Speaker 2>I know. I don't know how many times have you

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<v Speaker 2>known like I knew with my husband. Do you know

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<v Speaker 2>this is true story? When I met my husband, I

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<v Speaker 2>was at a fraternity party. I had just turned eighteen.

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<v Speaker 2>The drinking age was eighteen back then, and he was

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<v Speaker 2>a college in New York State. And I went to

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<v Speaker 2>this fraternity party with my roommate and everyone was drinking

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<v Speaker 2>with red cups. And you just saw the sea of

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<v Speaker 2>guys in a fratnity with red with the red silk cups.

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<v Speaker 2>And I looked at this guy across the room and

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<v Speaker 2>I said to my roommate, I'm going to marry that guy.

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<v Speaker 2>I just had. I just had this connection.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember that story.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes I did, so, I knew.

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<v Speaker 1>So when you know, you know people. But hopefully you

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<v Speaker 1>both know that's exactly all right. You ready, let's get

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<v Speaker 1>into it, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I love your podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I was married for twenty five years. My husband and

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<v Speaker 1>I did not see eye the eye financially. It came

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<v Speaker 1>to a head when he retired early without us having

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<v Speaker 1>good financial footing. We opened a business which left us

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<v Speaker 1>in a six figure debt, and then he moved out.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh God, to top it off, our divorce was horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>He sued me for alimony. I came through all of that, God,

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<v Speaker 1>bless you. I met a man who treats me with

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<v Speaker 1>so much love, devotion and respect. I am not sure why,

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<v Speaker 1>but I feel really guilty. My ex has always struggled financially,

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<v Speaker 1>and my role in the marriage was fix her. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I know that feeling. I feel like I'm not able

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<v Speaker 1>to move on freely unless I know my ex is okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to let this feeling go. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't even know what I don't part it woman

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<v Speaker 1>she is.

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<v Speaker 2>There's so many questions I have. I mean, why it

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<v Speaker 2>came to her head when you retired early without them

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<v Speaker 2>having good financial footing, and then he suthes her for alimony.

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<v Speaker 1>Because she made more money obviously, I mean, she's the

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<v Speaker 1>bread winner now. But you found love. He's going to

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<v Speaker 1>survive on his own. He already went through that. You

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<v Speaker 1>can't fix.

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<v Speaker 2>Him, that's the answer, Susan. You can't. You can only

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<v Speaker 2>fix yourself. You can't fix anyone else.

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<v Speaker 1>And gone, bless you. You found somebody that loves you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's you know. I don't want to sound harsh,

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<v Speaker 2>but literally, you've come through six figure debt and he

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<v Speaker 2>moved out. You've you've you've supported him as much as

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<v Speaker 2>you could. It's now time for you have a little happiness.

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<v Speaker 2>If he can't figure it out, that's not your problem.

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<v Speaker 2>But I mean I think she it's.

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<v Speaker 1>When she says, unless I know my ex is okay,

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<v Speaker 1>she can't financially, what are you going to support him?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm saying you to know he's okay if he's put

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<v Speaker 2>them in debt and any he you know, she says,

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<v Speaker 2>they don't see I financially. Obviously, this is not a

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<v Speaker 2>new problem. I mean, how is exactly how is she

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<v Speaker 2>going to make sure he's okay?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, but I wish you luck, honey, and

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<v Speaker 1>be with the guy that loves you right now.

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<v Speaker 2>You did lucky, right, How lucky she'd have found a

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<v Speaker 2>guy that loves her. Don focus on that, Focus on

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<v Speaker 2>the new love that you've found and let the rest

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<v Speaker 2>take care of itself because you can't fix anybody else.

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<v Speaker 1>And let the guilt go.

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<v Speaker 2>Guilt is just a wasteful emotion, we wish. Okay, let

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<v Speaker 2>me go to the next question. This is from anonymous. Okay, Hello,

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful ladies, I need some wise advice and I couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>think of anybody better to ask. Since my grandma has

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<v Speaker 2>recently passed, she would have known exactly what to say

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<v Speaker 2>on this topic. My boyfriend and I are twenty nine

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<v Speaker 2>years old and have been together for almost five years.

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<v Speaker 2>We are talking about taking the next step and getting

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<v Speaker 2>engaged in the next year or so. Our relationship is

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<v Speaker 2>honestly perfect, and I think he's the love of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>We've lived together for three years and have the cutest

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<v Speaker 2>fur baby together. I knew he was going to be

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<v Speaker 2>my future husband from the second I laid eyes on him.

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<v Speaker 2>Sounds like make of course, there was a catch. We've

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<v Speaker 2>both been dealing with some medical issues that are making

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<v Speaker 2>our sex nonexistent. We've tried almost everything, including working with

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<v Speaker 2>our doctors, to resolve it, over the last two years,

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<v Speaker 2>but it seems to only be getting worse. I want

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<v Speaker 2>to marry this guy, and I do feel ready for

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<v Speaker 2>that next step, But am I investing into a sexless marriage.

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<v Speaker 2>Aren't they supposed to be our fun years. We're both attractive, spontaneous,

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<v Speaker 2>fun loving people, so it's frustrating to only be having

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<v Speaker 2>sex once every two months. I struggle with mixed feelings

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<v Speaker 2>of being shallow and wanting to have a high sex

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<v Speaker 2>drive partner. We are very affectionate, just missing the sex.

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<v Speaker 2>We are big communicators and understand that both of us

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<v Speaker 2>are feeling frustrated. I will take any and all advice.

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<v Speaker 2>I love you ladies and look forward to your podcast

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<v Speaker 2>every week. Well, thank you, Anonymous.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me get this right. They were both struggling, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and then she says she has a big sex drive.

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<v Speaker 1>Are they just one struggling he he's struggling.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. It is a bit confusing. She says

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<v Speaker 2>that they've both been dealing with medical issues that are

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<v Speaker 2>making their sex drive non existent. So to that end,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I could make a joke here that I've

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<v Speaker 2>never known, but let's just move ahead. There are doctors

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<v Speaker 2>that can help you with that. If neither one of

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<v Speaker 2>you are interested in sex. There are doctors that you

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<v Speaker 2>can go to.

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<v Speaker 1>The go to doctors, they're saying, including working with our doctor.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean a sex therapist. I'm a sex therapist.

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<v Speaker 1>Whether if it's him that lost the desire or is

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<v Speaker 1>it that he says?

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<v Speaker 2>She says, they're both feeling frustrated. It sounds to me

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<v Speaker 2>like they're both having the issue. But it's interesting to

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<v Speaker 2>me that she said their relationship is honestly perfect. That

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<v Speaker 2>you know, no relationship is perfect.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, if she says it's perfect, it's perfect for her.

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<v Speaker 1>So stay with the perfect and hopefully these medical issues

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<v Speaker 1>can be resolved in the future and then you could

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<v Speaker 1>go back to having great sex. I want to know,

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<v Speaker 1>do you feel like if there was somebody else you

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<v Speaker 1>would have great sex?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it just yeah, I'm a little confused. Is medical issues?

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<v Speaker 1>We need to know more, We need.

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<v Speaker 2>To know more, you know. But here's here's here's one

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<v Speaker 2>thing that I think you and I can both agree.

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<v Speaker 2>They're young and if she's interested in sex, they better

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<v Speaker 2>figure it out because that's something that could drive a

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<v Speaker 2>wedge in their relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>I very well could. I agree, and we wish you luck.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you want to tell us a little more,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we can help you figure this out. But we

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<v Speaker 1>wish you the best.

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<v Speaker 2>Good luck.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, this one's from Katie. Hi, Susan and Kathy. I

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<v Speaker 1>loved watching you both on The Golden Bachelor, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so happy I get more of you on this podcast. Thanks.

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<v Speaker 1>My question is this. I am thirty three with two

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<v Speaker 1>little boys, a five year old and a twenty month

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<v Speaker 1>old I've been blessed with an amazing job where I

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<v Speaker 1>get to work from home and be a full time

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<v Speaker 1>mom and a full time marketing director. The problem is,

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<v Speaker 1>I never feel like I can be one hundred percent

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<v Speaker 1>a good mom or one hundred percent a good employee. Recently,

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<v Speaker 1>a great job opportunity popped up where I would be

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<v Speaker 1>a teacher. I'd lose my flexibility I have now, but

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<v Speaker 1>I get to separate work from home and have summers off.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I want to take the job, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>being held down with guilt at losing time with my boys.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have any advice? Yes, I did, so don't. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you need to do you You're going to be home

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<v Speaker 1>in the summer with them, and that's a plus.

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<v Speaker 2>Think that it's one of the biggest fallacies out there

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<v Speaker 2>that anyone can be one hundred percent great mom and

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred percent good employee. I think that women really

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<v Speaker 2>have it tough. You know. Historically we've been asked to

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<v Speaker 2>do it all right, and more and more, two family

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<v Speaker 2>incomes are required, and so women. I mean my daughter,

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<v Speaker 2>we talk about this all the time. She has a

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<v Speaker 2>high pressure job and her daughter now is in daycare.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't do it all, Katie. You can't be one

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<v Speaker 2>hundred percent great mom, one hundred percent great employee. And oh,

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<v Speaker 2>by the way, you didn't mention this, but you need

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<v Speaker 2>to be a good wife and partner.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't know. Is she happily married. Maybe she's

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<v Speaker 1>a single mom. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Does it say that, Oh you're right, it doesn't say that,

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<v Speaker 2>so so maybe she is single. But the point is

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<v Speaker 2>you can't do it all, and we as women are

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<v Speaker 2>expected to sometimes to do it all. You got to

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<v Speaker 2>cut yourself some slack here, Katie.

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<v Speaker 1>And I want to know how you did full time mom,

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<v Speaker 1>full time job at the same time that that has

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<v Speaker 1>to be difficult.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. My daughter has worked from home, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. You've got two kids crawling on you.

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<v Speaker 2>I know. I mean, I'm guessing. I'm guessing one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>percent good employee. Maybe is in her mind only, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'm with you, Susan, Katie, take the teaching job. I taught.

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<v Speaker 2>I loved having summers off.

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<v Speaker 1>And you'll like getting out of the house. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're going but fine, going to miss you in the beginning.

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<v Speaker 1>It's going to be a struggle, but just know you'll

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<v Speaker 1>get to spend three long months in the summer with them.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's and you.

0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:44.760
<v Speaker 2>Know what, when you come home from work, it's better

0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.600
<v Speaker 2>to have I think, you know, a couple of hours

0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 2>of really good quality time than you know eight hours

0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:56.000
<v Speaker 2>where you're trying to juggle work and family and home.

0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.680
<v Speaker 2>So that can take the great job. Take the great job,

0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:04.840
<v Speaker 2>You'll be glad. Okay, Hi, Susan and Cathy. I really

0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:09.280
<v Speaker 2>enjoy listening to your podcast. I work in healthcare and

0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.439
<v Speaker 2>one of my patients brought to my attention a situation

0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 2>she is currently in. For some reason, it made me

0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.120
<v Speaker 2>think of you both and was wondering what your advice

0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.160
<v Speaker 2>would be. She is sixty one years old. She is

0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.679
<v Speaker 2>a caregiver for a man who is eighty four years old.

0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:26.920
<v Speaker 2>She lives with him, and both of them are single.

0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.920
<v Speaker 2>They both have kids from their previous marriages. She loves

0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:34.040
<v Speaker 2>her job and spending time with him. She told me

0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:37.160
<v Speaker 2>at her appointment last week that her client has asked

0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:40.960
<v Speaker 2>her to marry him. He does not have any ailments

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.280
<v Speaker 2>dementia included. He wants to leave his house to her

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:47.640
<v Speaker 2>and his money. Apparently, he doesn't have a good relationship

0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:51.880
<v Speaker 2>with his kids. She was shocked, unsure if this is

0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.600
<v Speaker 2>morally wrong. She admits he has treated her the nicest

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:59.840
<v Speaker 2>any man has ever. He has promised her it does

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.079
<v Speaker 2>have to be sexual either, just wants her to hold

0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.480
<v Speaker 2>his hand while they watch TV. She has no idea

0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:09.920
<v Speaker 2>what to do. I am dying to know what you

0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:14.959
<v Speaker 2>both think. Love you both? Well, wow, that is a lot.

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:15.880
<v Speaker 2>What I think is.

0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:22.760
<v Speaker 1>Okay, she's a caregiver, so obviously they're friends now because

0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.480
<v Speaker 1>she's there all the time. I mean, do you have

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:29.080
<v Speaker 1>anything in your life other than this man?

0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:29.800
<v Speaker 2>You know?

0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:31.320
<v Speaker 1>What about her personal life?

0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.040
<v Speaker 2>She said? They both have kids from their previous marriages.

0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 1>They both have children, right, Okay, so she's not married

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:43.000
<v Speaker 1>and she's spending every minute with him, right, you know,

0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.920
<v Speaker 1>I think, I mean, do you like him? Do you

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.080
<v Speaker 1>love him? Because I mean, yeah, life.

0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 2>Sounds very transactional to me. This sounds like, you know,

0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't think this person would be asking the question

0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 2>if the guy had no money, it would be no,

0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.239
<v Speaker 2>I've got my job. I'm taking care of him. But apparently,

0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:00.800
<v Speaker 2>and I don't mean to again, I don't mean to

0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:05.600
<v Speaker 2>sound harsh, but she says, is it morally wrong? I

0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:09.760
<v Speaker 2>don't think morals come into it. It's it's maybe ethically

0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.480
<v Speaker 2>there's a question of is it right to marry someone

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:17.640
<v Speaker 2>because you're going to gain financial Uh, you have financial

0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:18.200
<v Speaker 2>gain from it.

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.000
<v Speaker 1>But well, you know people, the kids are going to

0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.840
<v Speaker 1>say that that, yeah, this kid, but you know what,

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.360
<v Speaker 1>if he's got ironclad will, good luck.

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think that's really harsh.

0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.840
<v Speaker 1>I think she has ask herself how she feels about him?

0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 2>Right, well, did you hear in this that she loves

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:36.400
<v Speaker 2>him anywhere? I didn't hear it.

0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.240
<v Speaker 1>No. I think he cares about her and he wants

0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:40.880
<v Speaker 1>he cares.

0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.360
<v Speaker 2>About her, and he wants to leave her the money.

0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:43.640
<v Speaker 1>But you know what she's got.

0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.440
<v Speaker 2>She doesn't have to marry him to do that. He

0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:49.560
<v Speaker 2>can he can leave her money in his will. I

0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:52.600
<v Speaker 2>think there's more to it. I think he wants that.

0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:56.640
<v Speaker 2>I think he wants, he wants, he will, he wants

0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:58.280
<v Speaker 2>someone that twenty four hours a day.

0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:01.160
<v Speaker 1>But you got to ask your self, babe, how do

0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:05.440
<v Speaker 1>you feel do you want to be with this man until.

0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:06.240
<v Speaker 2>Twenty four hours a day?

0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, because you will be sorrying.

0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:09.560
<v Speaker 2>For him twenty four hours a day.

0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:13.560
<v Speaker 1>And don just stop worrying about the kids and people's opinions.

0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:15.920
<v Speaker 1>It's it's about you what you want.

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:19.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well I don't Susan, if will you come and

0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:20.560
<v Speaker 2>take care of me?

0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.160
<v Speaker 1>If I believe are you going to leave me all

0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:23.760
<v Speaker 1>your money?

0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:25.200
<v Speaker 2>What money?

0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay? The next one's from Chloe and she says, Hi,

0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:32.480
<v Speaker 1>Kathy and Susan, my husband really wants to have a

0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.200
<v Speaker 1>second child. But the more time goes on, the more

0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.280
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I don't What are your thoughts on

0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:43.560
<v Speaker 1>how to navigate this. I know you're going to say communicate, Oh,

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.400
<v Speaker 1>they know us, Gott, but the problem is that we

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 1>do talk about it. Ultimately, he says it's my decision,

0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:53.440
<v Speaker 1>but I know he really really wants it. What would

0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:53.760
<v Speaker 1>you do.

0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.800
<v Speaker 2>Again? On these questions, we don't have enough information. I

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:04.560
<v Speaker 2>want to know why she doesn't want a second child.

0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:08.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, to me, that's important. If it's because her career,

0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 2>you know, is taken off and she doesn't want to

0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.639
<v Speaker 2>go back to diapers or whatever, you know, if that's

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:17.560
<v Speaker 2>the issue, then then they can talk about what are

0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:21.119
<v Speaker 2>the ways they could get help taking care of the baby.

0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.240
<v Speaker 2>But if it's you know, I mean.

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.440
<v Speaker 1>It's a whole new ball game when you have more

0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:30.359
<v Speaker 1>than one, it really is now you could talk about

0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:33.560
<v Speaker 1>having an only child and what that means and think

0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:34.800
<v Speaker 1>about that you don't want.

0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.719
<v Speaker 2>Would you have wanted to? I would say to have

0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:41.600
<v Speaker 2>another one, because I mean I had three children, Chloe,

0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:46.879
<v Speaker 2>but I would not want my child to have all

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.399
<v Speaker 2>the responsibility of being an only child. And many of

0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:53.080
<v Speaker 2>my friends who have had only children their kids are

0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:55.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, they're older now, they have said they wish

0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:57.600
<v Speaker 2>they had a sibling to share the responsibilities with.

0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.359
<v Speaker 1>I just at one child. My husband's career. He was

0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:07.840
<v Speaker 1>traveling everywhere in baseball, and I got pregnant again with twins,

0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:12.359
<v Speaker 1>and I was in shock. I love them to death today,

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.240
<v Speaker 1>but it was hard. It was hard when you feel

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:18.560
<v Speaker 1>like that's all you want. It's a tough decision. But

0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.480
<v Speaker 1>you and your husband absolutely should communicate.

0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:24.399
<v Speaker 2>Right Did you and your husband talk about it?

0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:25.920
<v Speaker 1>No, it was an accident.

0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:30.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh so you really only wanted one child? Wow?

0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:33.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because of our lifestyle on how we moved around,

0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.280
<v Speaker 1>and it was just going to be too hard and

0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:38.640
<v Speaker 1>it was difficult. I don't regret my boys. I love

0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:41.040
<v Speaker 1>my boys, but yeah, I don't know.

0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:43.119
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's fair. Do you think it's fair

0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:50.080
<v Speaker 2>for Chloe's husband to say it's ultimately her decision. I

0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:52.879
<v Speaker 2>just don't think that's fair either. That's not fair.

0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Well, he doesn't want to be the one that she

0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 1>blames if she has a second child and says, see,

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:00.760
<v Speaker 1>see you made me do this, that kind of thing.

0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:04.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Well you know what if, Chloe, if you decide

0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:07.520
<v Speaker 2>to have a second child, and you make that decision,

0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 2>then you can never go back and say you made

0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:14.880
<v Speaker 2>me do this, right, I don't know. I love kids,

0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.600
<v Speaker 2>so I would say, Chloe, have a second one. Their blessings,

0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:20.680
<v Speaker 2>they're fun, they're you know, don't There's always going to

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.240
<v Speaker 2>be more month than money, Chloe, So don't worry about that.

0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.080
<v Speaker 1>We wish you a lot of luck and thank you

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:27.639
<v Speaker 1>to everyone who wrote in.

0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:30.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, Susan, we have time for one more?

0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:32.440
<v Speaker 1>Whoa okay, so.

0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:37.399
<v Speaker 2>Hold the phone. Roberto, who's twenty nine from Michigan High

0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Golden Hour. I am writing in about my future father

0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:44.680
<v Speaker 2>in law. My fiance and I have been together for

0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.200
<v Speaker 2>five years and we're very much in love and looking

0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:51.640
<v Speaker 2>forward to getting married. I am struggling with my future

0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:54.000
<v Speaker 2>father in law though, because he is having a very

0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:57.919
<v Speaker 2>hard time sharing his little girl with me. I am

0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:01.280
<v Speaker 2>nothing but kind and respectful around their family, but he

0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:04.600
<v Speaker 2>always finds a reason to pick on every little thing

0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.439
<v Speaker 2>I do. He brings it up with his daughter, but

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:10.720
<v Speaker 2>never me, which puts us in a weird position. He

0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:14.480
<v Speaker 2>feels like he raised the perfect woman and he's single

0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:17.119
<v Speaker 2>now and I don't think he wants to share her

0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:20.440
<v Speaker 2>with anyone, not just me. One time, he didn't speak

0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:23.639
<v Speaker 2>to me for months and didn't tell me or his daughter.

0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:26.479
<v Speaker 2>Why any idea on how to try to mend our

0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:30.080
<v Speaker 2>relationship before the wedding. I want to feel better about

0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:32.320
<v Speaker 2>all this on the wedding day and to feel like

0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:35.600
<v Speaker 2>one family. I'm not taking this little girl from him.

0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:37.200
<v Speaker 2>We all just love her.

0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:41.679
<v Speaker 1>Oh poor guy, Oh my god. So does she know

0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:42.320
<v Speaker 1>about this?

0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:46.320
<v Speaker 2>He says? He says she didn't. He didn't talk to

0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.399
<v Speaker 2>his fancy or him for months and they don't know why.

0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:55.120
<v Speaker 2>I gotta say I had a similar relations a similar issue.

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:59.400
<v Speaker 2>My my husband was the oldest of three kids, and

0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:05.679
<v Speaker 2>he his mom's favorite, and they did not like me

0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:09.199
<v Speaker 2>coming along, and it was tough. It was tough in

0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 2>our marriage.

0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:11.320
<v Speaker 1>What did you do.

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:15.960
<v Speaker 2>You know? I have to say I probably didn't handle

0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:20.879
<v Speaker 2>it the best way. My husband was very respectful to

0:21:21.040 --> 0:21:24.359
<v Speaker 2>his parents, and he loved his parents very much. But

0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I remember him saying to them one day, saying to

0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:32.159
<v Speaker 2>his mother, Mom, we've been married, I can't remember you

0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:36.919
<v Speaker 2>thirty years. I love Kathy. Why can't you accept her?

0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:39.800
<v Speaker 2>And she just looked at him and said, well, I do,

0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:42.600
<v Speaker 2>But I mean and so I guess my answer is

0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:46.360
<v Speaker 2>to you, Roberto, you may not be able to change

0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.480
<v Speaker 2>your future father in law. He may just hold on

0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:54.560
<v Speaker 2>to that. Hopefully, once you're married and he sees how

0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:57.639
<v Speaker 2>you cherish his daughter, he will warm up to you.

0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:01.960
<v Speaker 2>But like I repeatedly say, you can only change yourself.

0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:06.480
<v Speaker 1>I would honestly have a talk with her and maybe

0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:12.000
<v Speaker 1>they could approach the father together. You know what I mean,

0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.800
<v Speaker 1>speak your piece. I mean, she it sounds like she

0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:18.200
<v Speaker 1>doesn't really know what's going on as much as he feels.

0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:21.480
<v Speaker 1>And I don't blame you for feeling weird about it.

0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:24.000
<v Speaker 1>I get it. You want to feel welcome, you want

0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:25.480
<v Speaker 1>to feel a part of the family.

0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:30.359
<v Speaker 2>You know, everybody talks about joining families. I mean, did

0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:32.160
<v Speaker 2>you get along great with your in laws? I'm sure

0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:37.520
<v Speaker 2>you did. Yeah, it's hard not everyone does. I mean,

0:22:37.560 --> 0:22:38.720
<v Speaker 2>I love daughter in law.

0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:42.359
<v Speaker 1>My daughter in laws are just precious. I have no issues.

0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:44.520
<v Speaker 2>I know that's weird. You and I share that in common,

0:22:44.560 --> 0:22:47.560
<v Speaker 2>don't we both love our in laws. Well, I wish

0:22:47.600 --> 0:22:49.679
<v Speaker 2>you all the best, Roberto. I hope your wedding is

0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:51.800
<v Speaker 2>the day that you want it to be, and that

0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:53.760
<v Speaker 2>your marriage is the marriage you wanted to be.

0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:56.720
<v Speaker 1>I know, or Daddy might lose this little girl. You know,

0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:57.920
<v Speaker 1>there's always that too.

0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh. Yes, make them pay too.

0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I know you don't, but he needs to treat him

0:23:03.560 --> 0:23:06.120
<v Speaker 1>with some respect. I mean, that's a shame that could

0:23:06.200 --> 0:23:07.080
<v Speaker 1>cause problems.

0:23:07.320 --> 0:23:10.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but we wish thank you to everyone who wrote in.

0:23:10.280 --> 0:23:13.120
<v Speaker 2>We're wishing you guys the best, and if you want

0:23:13.119 --> 0:23:16.680
<v Speaker 2>to send us a question, head to bachelornation dot com

0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:20.359
<v Speaker 2>slash Golden Hour and submit yours. Now. We love hearing

0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:22.320
<v Speaker 2>from you, so keep those questions coming.

0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:34.639
<v Speaker 1>All right. Before we wrap up of the day, though,

0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:38.240
<v Speaker 1>should we play a game of our moral quandary?

0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:39.040
<v Speaker 2>What do you think?

0:23:39.160 --> 0:23:40.040
<v Speaker 1>Kathy? Oh?

0:23:40.080 --> 0:23:42.080
<v Speaker 2>I love this, I love it? All right, all right,

0:23:42.160 --> 0:23:45.280
<v Speaker 2>let's do it. We'll switch off reading the quandary and

0:23:45.359 --> 0:23:47.720
<v Speaker 2>we'll give our thoughts on what we would do. Okay,

0:23:47.760 --> 0:23:49.119
<v Speaker 2>Susan you want to go ahead and start.

0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:52.679
<v Speaker 1>Okay, here we go. You've been dating someone for a

0:23:52.680 --> 0:23:56.199
<v Speaker 1>few months and things are going well. You discover that

0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:59.920
<v Speaker 1>your partner had a criminal record from ten years ago.

0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:04.320
<v Speaker 1>They've since turned their life around completely and all crimes

0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:07.879
<v Speaker 1>were non violent. Do you confront them about it and

0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:13.359
<v Speaker 1>does it change how you feel about continuing the relationship? Well,

0:24:13.440 --> 0:24:16.520
<v Speaker 1>hell yeah, you confront them. You want to know what

0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:19.359
<v Speaker 1>it was. First of all, how did you find that out?

0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:23.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean communicate?

0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, wait a minute, I mean, Susan, we're talking one

0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 2>DUI hear all the crimes? How many damn crimes were there?

0:24:35.000 --> 0:24:38.240
<v Speaker 1>The partner had a criminal record from ten years ago?

0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:40.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean I think I would bring it up

0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:42.359
<v Speaker 2>and ask It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

0:24:42.400 --> 0:24:43.600
<v Speaker 2>It was ten years ago.

0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:46.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and people do change. And like they said, it

0:24:46.320 --> 0:24:49.919
<v Speaker 1>was nonviolent, so it could have been something stupid like

0:24:49.960 --> 0:24:50.960
<v Speaker 1>a do ui. You're right?

0:24:51.680 --> 0:24:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, yes, be really serious, but yeah, I mean

0:24:54.320 --> 0:24:56.560
<v Speaker 2>I would definitely got to confront him.

0:24:56.640 --> 0:24:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, All right.

0:24:58.400 --> 0:25:01.960
<v Speaker 2>Here's the next one. All right, you were ghosted by

0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:05.320
<v Speaker 2>someone you were dating for several months After a year,

0:25:05.400 --> 0:25:10.000
<v Speaker 2>they come back and apologize profusely, wanting to rekindle the relationship.

0:25:10.400 --> 0:25:13.440
<v Speaker 2>Do you give them another chance? You're single and looking

0:25:13.880 --> 0:25:17.679
<v Speaker 2>everything was great until they ghosted you. Their excuse is

0:25:17.720 --> 0:25:20.280
<v Speaker 2>that they were going through a tough time, but they

0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:22.280
<v Speaker 2>don't elaborate further than that.

0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:29.119
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I'm sorry, darling. No, no, no, new.

0:25:29.560 --> 0:25:30.879
<v Speaker 2>No, Wait a minute.

0:25:30.920 --> 0:25:38.280
<v Speaker 1>You wouldn't No, Oh, I would Why they don't elaborate

0:25:38.359 --> 0:25:40.400
<v Speaker 1>they were going through a tough time. Well, you know what,

0:25:40.680 --> 0:25:42.960
<v Speaker 1>call me and tell me you're going through a tough

0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:44.320
<v Speaker 1>time before you ghost me.

0:25:44.800 --> 0:25:48.360
<v Speaker 2>Okay, wait a minute. By definition, if they ghost you,

0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:50.520
<v Speaker 2>they're not going to reach out and call you. But

0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:55.040
<v Speaker 2>here's the thing, they don't elaborate further. Guess what they're

0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:57.479
<v Speaker 2>going to do before I date them again. They're going

0:25:57.520 --> 0:26:00.920
<v Speaker 2>to elaborate further. Yes, So I would give the guy

0:26:00.960 --> 0:26:05.800
<v Speaker 2>a chance. I would give him a chance. I wouldn't say, Okay,

0:26:06.400 --> 0:26:09.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, all's forgiven, let's start dating again. I would

0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:11.000
<v Speaker 2>give him a chance and ask him to tell me

0:26:11.040 --> 0:26:13.080
<v Speaker 2>what happened and why he goes. Didn't you? I think

0:26:13.119 --> 0:26:13.440
<v Speaker 2>you would.

0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:18.080
<v Speaker 1>I would want to know why. Yes, but he didn't

0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:20.680
<v Speaker 1>once he may do it again. I don't know. No,

0:26:20.840 --> 0:26:23.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't feel good about that one. I talked to

0:26:23.760 --> 0:26:28.360
<v Speaker 1>him and hear his story and wish him luck. Yeah,

0:26:28.400 --> 0:26:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm not feeling that one. Okay, you're a teenager has

0:26:31.720 --> 0:26:35.719
<v Speaker 1>been acting secretive and spending a lot of time on

0:26:35.760 --> 0:26:38.960
<v Speaker 1>their phone. Do you go through their messages and social

0:26:39.000 --> 0:26:44.920
<v Speaker 1>media accounts to ensure they are safe? So freaking lutely.

0:26:46.119 --> 0:26:48.600
<v Speaker 2>So, I love you, Susan. You know what I say.

0:26:49.000 --> 0:26:52.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm paying for the phone. Yes, I'm looking at it

0:26:52.880 --> 0:26:57.480
<v Speaker 2>anytime I want, and you don't like it. I'm the parent.

0:26:57.800 --> 0:27:01.120
<v Speaker 2>I think that's one of the issues today. Parents are

0:27:01.200 --> 0:27:07.400
<v Speaker 2>sometimes afraid to parent. You're not your child's friend, you're the.

0:27:07.480 --> 0:27:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Parent, and god forbid, they're getting themselves in some kind

0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:13.080
<v Speaker 1>of trouble. I mean, you have to.

0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:17.160
<v Speaker 2>Be there, right, I think that. I think you're absolutely right,

0:27:17.240 --> 0:27:20.280
<v Speaker 2>and I think the fact even if they weren't I'm

0:27:20.320 --> 0:27:26.000
<v Speaker 2>being honest, even if they weren't acting secretive. My deal,

0:27:26.359 --> 0:27:30.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean my kids when they were teenagers, literally they

0:27:30.680 --> 0:27:33.520
<v Speaker 2>didn't have cell phones because they weren't there until my youngest,

0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:36.879
<v Speaker 2>you know, but they had beepers and my deal was

0:27:37.160 --> 0:27:38.920
<v Speaker 2>my oldest one. I had a beeper what's that called?

0:27:38.960 --> 0:27:42.399
<v Speaker 2>You know, like you yeah, a pager and if he

0:27:42.440 --> 0:27:45.439
<v Speaker 2>didn't call me right back from a landline, which because

0:27:45.480 --> 0:27:47.919
<v Speaker 2>that's what we had back then, he was in deep trouble.

0:27:48.040 --> 0:27:51.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't care, like that's that's the deal. So I

0:27:51.680 --> 0:27:54.560
<v Speaker 2>think parents, I know I'm probably gonna catch some flat

0:27:54.600 --> 0:27:56.679
<v Speaker 2>for this, but do you agree with me, susan that

0:27:56.760 --> 0:27:58.760
<v Speaker 2>you should always be able to go through your child's

0:27:58.800 --> 0:27:59.800
<v Speaker 2>phone at any time?

0:28:00.240 --> 0:28:03.840
<v Speaker 1>And they're definitely not going to like it, but you

0:28:03.920 --> 0:28:06.200
<v Speaker 1>got to keep an eye on them. They're teen agers.

0:28:06.240 --> 0:28:10.520
<v Speaker 1>They make mistakes and their brains are not fully formed,

0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:14.639
<v Speaker 1>and you're there to guide and help. They're gonna hate

0:28:14.640 --> 0:28:17.879
<v Speaker 1>you for it. Trust and believe me. And my daughter

0:28:18.040 --> 0:28:21.680
<v Speaker 1>just went through it. I'm like whoa. And she's telling

0:28:21.720 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 1>me the things that her daughter was saying.

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:26.520
<v Speaker 2>I was like owls Okay. I got to ask you

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:30.200
<v Speaker 2>what age? I mean, we have grandkids? What age would

0:28:30.200 --> 0:28:31.600
<v Speaker 2>you get a child phone?

0:28:31.720 --> 0:28:34.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Today? In today's world?

0:28:34.400 --> 0:28:36.359
<v Speaker 2>If you had kids today, how old would they be

0:28:36.400 --> 0:28:39.840
<v Speaker 2>if you gave a phone? Ten?

0:28:40.080 --> 0:28:40.840
<v Speaker 1>Twelve? Yeah?

0:28:41.920 --> 0:28:45.680
<v Speaker 2>So give me a grade? What grade?

0:28:46.360 --> 0:28:47.480
<v Speaker 1>Six? Middle school?

0:28:48.760 --> 0:28:52.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? See, I'm again people aren't gonna like this. I

0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:56.480
<v Speaker 2>don't think children need phones in middle school. If I

0:28:56.520 --> 0:28:59.840
<v Speaker 2>were the educationals are they would there would be no

0:29:00.040 --> 0:29:02.600
<v Speaker 2>phones at all in schools.

0:29:03.320 --> 0:29:06.200
<v Speaker 1>High school. There shouldn't be phones in schools. There shouldn't,

0:29:06.240 --> 0:29:09.280
<v Speaker 1>but they should have one in their back. Why not

0:29:09.360 --> 0:29:11.680
<v Speaker 1>to take them to class of course, to call home,

0:29:11.720 --> 0:29:14.160
<v Speaker 1>to call for the rive people. There's two working parents.

0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:16.400
<v Speaker 2>How did you and I? How did you and I

0:29:16.520 --> 0:29:17.640
<v Speaker 2>make it without cell phones?

0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:19.360
<v Speaker 1>Katy? Times have changed?

0:29:19.480 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I just think I think young kids phones are

0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:25.959
<v Speaker 2>trouble and there's just too much on the internet. I

0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:29.440
<v Speaker 2>think it's asking too much. But I'm sure people aren'ting

0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:31.440
<v Speaker 2>to agree on this. But that's why you and I

0:29:31.440 --> 0:29:31.960
<v Speaker 2>love each other.

0:29:31.960 --> 0:29:35.760
<v Speaker 1>We have different but definitely check it. Definitely you're in

0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:36.880
<v Speaker 1>charge of that phone.

0:29:37.120 --> 0:29:38.080
<v Speaker 2>Yep, for sure.

0:29:39.520 --> 0:29:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay.

0:29:40.760 --> 0:29:44.600
<v Speaker 2>Your boyfriend of six years gets an amazing job offer

0:29:44.680 --> 0:29:47.880
<v Speaker 2>in a different country. You've just started to settle into

0:29:47.920 --> 0:29:50.520
<v Speaker 2>your current city and love your own job. Do you

0:29:50.720 --> 0:29:53.520
<v Speaker 2>uproot your life to support their career or ask them

0:29:53.560 --> 0:29:55.280
<v Speaker 2>to reconsider the move for your sake?

0:29:57.040 --> 0:30:01.400
<v Speaker 1>Well, that depends on how many commas are in the

0:30:01.480 --> 0:30:03.360
<v Speaker 1>figure that demand's going to make.

0:30:04.680 --> 0:30:06.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, I thought you were going to go with

0:30:06.600 --> 0:30:10.320
<v Speaker 2>where I was going. Your boyfriend of six years? What

0:30:10.360 --> 0:30:13.400
<v Speaker 2>are you married, I mean, are living together? You know,

0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:14.440
<v Speaker 2>why haven't you made that.

0:30:16.800 --> 0:30:20.000
<v Speaker 1>Country? That's always exciting. It depends on how old you are,

0:30:20.840 --> 0:30:23.560
<v Speaker 1>where you're at in your own career, where he's at.

0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:27.040
<v Speaker 1>But if it's a big, huge thing, it's an experience.

0:30:27.240 --> 0:30:29.840
<v Speaker 2>I know, see you and I that's the difference. We

0:30:29.880 --> 0:30:33.800
<v Speaker 2>have lived long enough that if that opportunity came our way,

0:30:34.040 --> 0:30:36.360
<v Speaker 2>we'd be like, hell yeah, the suitcase would be packed

0:30:36.600 --> 0:30:38.960
<v Speaker 2>and you know, loaded for the airport before it get

0:30:39.040 --> 0:30:40.280
<v Speaker 2>they had time to reconsider.

0:30:40.680 --> 0:30:44.440
<v Speaker 1>But it does depend on a lot of how old

0:30:44.480 --> 0:30:45.440
<v Speaker 1>are you right?

0:30:45.520 --> 0:30:47.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I mean, do you want to marry this person?

0:30:47.840 --> 0:30:49.320
<v Speaker 2>Or do you want to live with this person? Do

0:30:49.680 --> 0:30:51.320
<v Speaker 2>you uproot your life? I don't know. Do you want

0:30:51.360 --> 0:30:53.200
<v Speaker 2>to spend the rest of your life with this guy

0:30:53.440 --> 0:30:56.960
<v Speaker 2>or this woman? Whoever it is. You know, it's an

0:30:56.960 --> 0:31:00.200
<v Speaker 2>amazing job offer. Is your job so fabulous and you

0:31:00.240 --> 0:31:02.960
<v Speaker 2>work remotely? Can you get another job? Do you are

0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:06.080
<v Speaker 2>you going to be resentful? I mean yeah, if it were.

0:31:05.960 --> 0:31:11.320
<v Speaker 1>You six year six year boyfriend, that's I mean.

0:31:11.560 --> 0:31:14.040
<v Speaker 2>Maybe they don't go get married, maybe they don't want to.

0:31:14.000 --> 0:31:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Be maybe they just live together or do they live together?

0:31:17.360 --> 0:31:20.440
<v Speaker 2>But that's a thing you, But you and I can

0:31:20.480 --> 0:31:22.160
<v Speaker 2>agree we'd be packed and ready to go.

0:31:22.360 --> 0:31:24.040
<v Speaker 1>It depends on the country, of course.

0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:28.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well there's there's there's.

0:31:28.720 --> 0:31:30.040
<v Speaker 1>A few I might not want.

0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 2>To go to. I don't know, all right, amazing.

0:31:32.720 --> 0:31:37.200
<v Speaker 1>Sweetheart, Do you and once again communicate with them? You know,

0:31:37.840 --> 0:31:41.120
<v Speaker 1>see how big of a job this is already. So

0:31:41.520 --> 0:31:45.480
<v Speaker 1>you discover that a colleague is taking credit for work

0:31:45.640 --> 0:31:49.520
<v Speaker 1>you've done which has led to them receiving a promotion,

0:31:50.360 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 1>do you confront them or go directly to your boss

0:31:53.920 --> 0:31:59.160
<v Speaker 1>risking workplace harmony? Oh go, what a jerk?

0:32:02.880 --> 0:32:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Well, there's always two sides of the guy sing that

0:32:06.640 --> 0:32:09.000
<v Speaker 2>maybe it was a group project. We don't know all

0:32:09.000 --> 0:32:12.080
<v Speaker 2>the details. But I can tell you what I wouldn't do.

0:32:13.200 --> 0:32:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I would not go to the boss, and I would

0:32:15.800 --> 0:32:18.720
<v Speaker 2>not confront the person because, you know what, the other

0:32:18.760 --> 0:32:22.560
<v Speaker 2>person already has the promotion, so that ship has sailed.

0:32:23.200 --> 0:32:27.320
<v Speaker 2>I would make sure that I am front and center

0:32:27.640 --> 0:32:30.520
<v Speaker 2>on other projects and that my boss takes notice of

0:32:30.560 --> 0:32:32.880
<v Speaker 2>me so that the next promotion is mine.

0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:36.880
<v Speaker 1>I feel a little bit differently. I agree with not

0:32:37.120 --> 0:32:40.040
<v Speaker 1>running to the boss and be a little snitch tattletale,

0:32:40.320 --> 0:32:45.200
<v Speaker 1>but I will definitely confront him in a quiet place

0:32:45.320 --> 0:32:48.240
<v Speaker 1>that nobody sees you. But you need to let him

0:32:48.280 --> 0:32:52.320
<v Speaker 1>know that you're aware. Watch out, bitch, because I'm on you.

0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:56.920
<v Speaker 1>How dare you? How dare you? She worked harder? They

0:32:57.000 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 1>worked hard for this. We don't know the situation. Was

0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:02.800
<v Speaker 1>it a team effort maybe that's what I'm saying.

0:33:02.840 --> 0:33:04.920
<v Speaker 2>If it was a team that project, maybe you know.

0:33:05.120 --> 0:33:06.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we only know.

0:33:07.080 --> 0:33:10.640
<v Speaker 1>But she says, you discovered that a colleague is taking

0:33:10.680 --> 0:33:14.360
<v Speaker 1>credit for work that you've done. Boom right there.

0:33:14.760 --> 0:33:19.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know what if if if there's no documentation,

0:33:19.800 --> 0:33:22.080
<v Speaker 2>I feel sorry for the boss because the boss probably

0:33:22.480 --> 0:33:26.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, isn't isn't a detail oriented If they're not

0:33:26.120 --> 0:33:28.480
<v Speaker 2>taking notice of that, I don't know that that's a

0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:31.320
<v Speaker 2>tough one, but it is. I definitely would make sure

0:33:32.320 --> 0:33:35.560
<v Speaker 2>that the work you do in the future, there's ways

0:33:35.600 --> 0:33:38.280
<v Speaker 2>to make your boss aware of the work you're doing.

0:33:39.280 --> 0:33:41.840
<v Speaker 1>But this happened, so what I said.

0:33:41.640 --> 0:33:43.600
<v Speaker 2>The ship had sailed, so you know, it's not going

0:33:43.640 --> 0:33:44.680
<v Speaker 2>to do anything. Bring it up.

0:33:44.840 --> 0:33:47.160
<v Speaker 1>And I don't like people like that, but you know what,

0:33:47.280 --> 0:33:48.040
<v Speaker 1>karma is a bitch.

0:33:48.400 --> 0:33:49.880
<v Speaker 2>Did it ever happen to you?

0:33:49.920 --> 0:33:53.480
<v Speaker 1>No? No, And I've never done that to anybody either.

0:33:53.760 --> 0:33:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I would always give somebody credit, even if I helped

0:33:57.240 --> 0:33:57.560
<v Speaker 1>on it.

0:33:57.640 --> 0:33:57.840
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:33:58.800 --> 0:34:01.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's good. You know. I love the way people

0:34:01.880 --> 0:34:03.960
<v Speaker 1>just write in and they're frustrated, they don't know what

0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:07.200
<v Speaker 1>to do, and that's why we're here. Sometimes we can't

0:34:07.240 --> 0:34:10.000
<v Speaker 1>give you the best answers, but we will give you

0:34:10.040 --> 0:34:11.000
<v Speaker 1>our opinions, right.

0:34:11.239 --> 0:34:13.759
<v Speaker 2>You know what I what I noticed, Susan, is that

0:34:13.960 --> 0:34:17.759
<v Speaker 2>you and I give I think different answers now than

0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:20.200
<v Speaker 2>we would have when we were in our twenties or thirties.

0:34:20.200 --> 0:34:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, absolutely, you.

0:34:22.440 --> 0:34:24.600
<v Speaker 2>Know it's what is that? What is that youth is

0:34:24.640 --> 0:34:25.560
<v Speaker 2>wasted on the young?

0:34:25.920 --> 0:34:28.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:34:28.680 --> 0:34:29.680
<v Speaker 2>Is that right?

0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:30.279
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

0:34:30.360 --> 0:34:31.440
<v Speaker 2>It is? Yes?

0:34:31.840 --> 0:34:34.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, then well that does it for this episode. And

0:34:34.600 --> 0:34:37.440
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for joining us today on Bachelor

0:34:37.520 --> 0:34:38.919
<v Speaker 1>Happy Hours Golden Hour.

0:34:39.760 --> 0:34:42.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank you guys so much, and be sure to

0:34:42.200 --> 0:34:47.080
<v Speaker 2>subscribe as we have new episodes and fabulous guests coming

0:34:47.080 --> 0:34:49.279
<v Speaker 2>out every week that you won't want to.

0:34:49.239 --> 0:34:51.879
<v Speaker 1>Miss, and make sure to submit your questions to us.

0:34:52.200 --> 0:34:55.720
<v Speaker 1>Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and send

0:34:55.719 --> 0:34:56.080
<v Speaker 1>them in.

0:34:56.520 --> 0:35:00.239
<v Speaker 2>Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the Heart

0:35:00.320 --> 0:35:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts, See you next,

0:35:08.120 --> 0:35:08.520
<v Speaker 2>mm hmm