WEBVTT - Why do you like these dirtbags? 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:01.880 You say you're pretty naive and you let guys walk 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:04.840 all over you. Don't let them. You're not intentional, but 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:08.440 you're just too nice and submissive. Stop being submissive. The 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:10.119 boys you've been with have all been dirt bags and 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:12.320 not treated you well. Get away from dirt bags, Stay 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:16.159 away from them. You see what I mean? All of 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:30.240 your answers are hidden inside your own question. Welcome back 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.480 to the podcast. Thank you for listening, Thank you for 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:36.760 those that have listened to so many episodes in a 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:40.120 row and joined me on Monday mornings. This is just 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:43.120 a special moment for me and me and you you 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:47.879 listener that listens to these podcasts all the time. We 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:50.800 have a special bond, don't we. Because things that you 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:53.840 might see in a quick episode of The Smiths or 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:57.600 an Instagram post or me on the stage, those type 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:01.360 of things, you're getting a little piece of me. Right. 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:05.160 The Smith's a bigger piece, but the podcast you get 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:08.640 the biggest piece. You get what I hope is the 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:12.080 true piece of my heart. Me and you, you listener, 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:16.399 we have gone on a journey these last few years, 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:20.600 and we have gone through some crazy stuff, some some 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:23.679 crazy topics. I know we're going to do it again today. 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.120 In fact, it's just me no no co host today. 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:30.839 And I love the format of this podcast. I love 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:34.440 going through your questions. And when I first started doing 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.440 this on this podcast, when I changed the format of 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:42.320 this to answer your questions, it started out like what's 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:45.520 your favorite color or what's the favorite your favorite song 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:49.640 you've ever written? Right, And then then it changed. And 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:52.360 I don't know exactly when that happened or what the 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:55.920 first question that led to this was, but you know, 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:59.720 the first question comes in like I'm struggling in my 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.520 marri marriage and I don't know what to do, and 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.960 so it caught me off guard a little bit, but 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:09.000 we walk through it. And what we do here is 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.600 we walk through these questions, your questions as if we're 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:16.200 sitting around a campfire and you walk up and I 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:19.960 got the fire burning, and it's late at night, and 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:21.880 you say, hey, can I talk to you about something, 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.120 as if we have nothing else to do, we have 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:27.520 nowhere else to be, And I say sure, and you 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.160 say it there's something that's been on my mind. I 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.600 don't want to talk about it. And that's really what 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:34.440 this has become. And I love that about this podcast, 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.120 and so if you have any of those questions, those 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:42.120 kind of campfire questions, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:44.760 dot com. I'd love to get to them. I'd love 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:46.880 to walk through them. I have a whole bunch of 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:48.519 them today. I know I'm not going to get to 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.560 all these and so I'm just gonna randomly pick them, 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.840 but I have them in the queue ready. I have 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:54.880 not prepped, as you could see on my desk here. 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:57.720 I don't have any notes. I only have my phone 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:01.040 with the email, so I'm not prepared for what I'm 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:04.560 going to jump into, and I like it that way. 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:09.000 Here's a question. The first question. Like I said, I 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:11.080 don't know what I've getting into. Okay, so here we go. 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.720 Question that's the subject line, Hello there, thank you so 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:18.560 much for taking my question. They are so helpful. Will 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:23.079 you help me be anonymous? Yes? How do you remain 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.160 a woman of God in love and honor a husband 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:28.720 that is verbally abusive? How do we treat each other 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:36.480 like we're supposed to be treated? So this is a 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.200 great question. I'm kind of little shocks that I got 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:43.240 into this this early in the podcast, but this is anonymous. 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:48.920 She is she's in a marriage with a verbally, verbally 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:54.280 abusive husband, and she's asking asking me, how do you 0:03:54.320 --> 0:04:00.640 remain a woman of God and love and honor your husband? 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:04.720 And it's it's tough because because you've got to understand 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:07.080 that what you're asking me, how do I love and 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:12.320 honor as a godly woman? That's what you're asking, and 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.400 to appropriately answer it, we have to understand that it 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:20.359 takes two and the husband is required and supposed to, 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:24.200 as a godly husband, love and honor you back, and 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:27.240 that's not what you're getting. So that's why there's a problem. Right, 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.280 I mean, if we could all agree, no matter no 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.760 matter what reference you're reading here, no matter what, no 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:37.480 matter what your worldview is, we could all agree that 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:41.960 if you love and honor your spouse and they love 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:46.000 and honor you back, you're gonna have a really good marriage. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:48.840 You're not. It's not gonna be perfect because we're humans. 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:50.400 You're gonna have your ups and downs, You're gonna have 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:55.440 rocky moments. But if, above all else in your life, 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.599 you love and honor your spouse and they love and 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:02.320 honor you back, you're kind of have a really solid, 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:12.520 fundamentally right marriage, right asking I'm asking you, right, that's 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.400 what I think. And so so here we are. You're 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:20.960 you're in a verbally abusive relationship, which is tough because 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:25.960 because abuse is abuse, you don't have to make it 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:29.880 seem like you have it less severe because you're not 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:36.719 physically abused. And sometimes the verbally abusive husbands could lead 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:38.880 into physically abused so that but that's a different thing. 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.599 But but this isn't any less of a problem for 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.160 you than it would be someone saying they're they're only 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:50.560 physically abused and not verbally abused. It's all bad, it's 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:54.200 all terrible, and and my heart goes out to you, Anonymous. 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:59.920 And so you're asking, how do how do do Your 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.880 last sentence says this, how do we teach others how 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:09.039 to treat us? Hmm, I don't know. I don't know 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:11.640 if that's right to ask, how do we teach others 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:17.080 how to treat us? Because we can't control others at all. 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:21.159 We can only control what we do and how we 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:25.320 respond to others. That's what you have right now, Anonymous. 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:28.840 That's that's what you can control, is how you're responding 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:36.880 and how you're acting towards your spouse. And you do 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:41.640 that as hard as it might seem by loving him 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:49.080 and honoring him. And that is a controversial idea because 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.960 you might think that instead of loving and honoring, you 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:57.640 should defend an attack, right, because that's what you're getting. 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.200 So you need to put your guard up in be 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:05.920 defensive and attack back. But I promise you that will 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:11.040 that will make it worse. There's no situation when when 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.440 that would ever make it better. It's like it's like 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:16.200 you're not going to conquer him or win him over 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:21.040 with your anger and your defense is up. All that 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:26.840 being said, that doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.440 you you might be on a path. You might be 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:31.400 on a path where this marriage is not going to work. 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.240 And you know, any anybody that's listened to this podcast 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.920 enough knows that if there's abuse in the in a relationship, 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:44.680 that is grounds for divorce because you can't be abused. 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:48.840 It's first of all, it's illegal. Right, It's like you 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:51.840 you could press charges for that and you would win. 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:59.200 And that that just because it's and that's that, that's 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.840 this is your marriage. And so I don't I don't 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:05.520 want to advocate that you need a state no matter what. 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:09.600 All I'm saying is we're gonna this is a waiting game. 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:13.400 You're gonna wait this out with him, and you're gonna 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:17.680 love and honor him through the pain that you're getting. 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:22.760 And if that doesn't work, if if this doesn't, if 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:27.840 he doesn't have a change of heart, and man, this guy, 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.960 if he doesn't see his wife or who she is 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.880 as she's loving him and honoring him, if he still 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:39.280 wants to throw the heat at that, then he's a 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:43.400 terrible person and this marriage is gonna be over. And 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:46.360 I don't think there's much more to it. Anonymous, I'm 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.160 not gonna tell you to I'm not gonna tell you 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:54.839 a tactic on arguing or fighting, but you might wanna, 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:59.000 might wanna have a good lawyer. I'm so sorry. I'm 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.680 so sorry. And that's a sorry to everyone that that's 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:05.720 the first question. Moving on here, there's a question that 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:10.800 says from Shannon from Michigan says, does having this new 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:13.880 radio show job mean you will no longer be touring 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:17.520 or doing music? Yeah? What Shannon is talking about is 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.920 I just got a new job. It's really really cool, 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:26.400 and we announced it recently last week that I'm going 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:31.280 to be hosting a country music radio show. Called After Midnight. 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:35.760 It runs on a lot of stations all across the 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:40.959 country with a lot of listeners, and it's everything from 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:45.080 little mom and pop stations to big metropolitan city stations, 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:47.240 but it's a lot of them and they pick it 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:51.400 up and it runs from midnight to six am, So 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:55.640 it's a very vulnerable time for people to be listening 0:09:55.679 --> 0:10:00.360 to the radio. And I love that. I love the 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.560 the challenge of that, I love the taking on the responsibility, 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.959 the weight of what it means to host a radio 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:09.800 show for people in the middle of the night. I'm 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.440 talking people that are working the late night shift, that 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:14.880 are just leaving the bars, that are getting up early 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:17.400 to go to work and commute. They're getting up to 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:20.000 work out and go jogging. They're stocking the shelves at 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:23.840 the grocery store, they are over the road trucking. Their 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:28.199 mom is get enough to nurse their babies. There's all 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.080 different kinds of demographics, all different kinds of people that 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:35.000 will be listening. And I'm so excited. And to answer 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:38.720 your question, Shannon, of course I'm not gonna stop touring. 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.080 No no, no, no no, no. Of course I'm not gonna 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:44.200 stop doing music. And I'm not gonna stop touring. I 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:47.400 love those things love I love making music, I love 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:52.120 writing music, and I love performing it. I will be 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:55.240 doing those three things for the rest of my life 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:58.200 at some capacity. And I've joked about that in the 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:02.360 past to say that even if I'm on the on 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:04.640 the street corner with a guitar case open with you know, 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.080 getting tips and I'm playing songs on the side of 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.880 the of the street, even if it's that to some extent, 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:16.280 I will be still writing, singing and uh and performing, 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:20.840 recording and performing and and this radio job will be 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.199 will be work, and it will be it will take 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.839 up a lot of my time. It will we will 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.000 not be live, so I'm not going to be up 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.040 every single night from midnight to six am. I'm going 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.800 to record it as relevant of a time as I 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:35.560 can to when it's gonna air, but a lot of 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.880 times I'll be on the tour bus or in a 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:42.280 hotel room or here in this podcast room or wherever 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:45.080 I am at the time. Whatever I'm doing, I'm gonna 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:47.120 have my gear with me and I'm gonna be recording 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:51.160 this and producing the show for you guys, so super excited. 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:53.959 The answer is no, you I don't think, Shannon, I 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:55.440 don't think you're going to see a change for me 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.880 at all. That's the goal. The goal is that you 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.960 don't perceive any different. I'm just the same old Granger. 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.199 I'm still doing the Smith, I'm still doing this podcast, 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:08.559 I'm still out on tour. I'm still putting out songs periodically, 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:12.280 so hopefully you won't see a difference. Besides that, hopefully 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.360 I'm on your local radio station in the middle of 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:20.640 the night. Yeah, let's do let's hit one more and 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.000 let's grab a brake. I'm gonna go to you. I'm 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:28.200 just randomly scrolling here. This one says I don't know what. 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:31.400 It says, says help, subject line says help, it says 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.439 good morning. I found your podcast recently and I love 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:37.560 the authenticity of it. It is so real and honest. 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.920 Thank you. So my question is I'm in a situation 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.320 with someone that has been going on for about two years. 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.440 I met this person, we both had this instant connection. 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:53.000 We talked whenever we would and could, but things got 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:58.600 really personal. The issue is she has a boyfriend and 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:01.680 she is so unhappy with it, and she keeps saying 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:04.000 she's going to leave him. And that she really cares 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:06.040 for me, but every time it comes up to have 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.560 a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything. I'm 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:13.120 having the hardest time letting go. What should I do? 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:16.640 How do I let go before I lose my mind? 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:21.439 Thank you, Chris, Chris, thanks for the question. Brother. I 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:22.720 don't know where you are. I don't know where you're 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:26.200 coming from. And if you guys, email include your location 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.240 so I can get an idea of where you're from. 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:32.400 I have an answer for you, and I have an 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.720 answer that I don't think it's the answer you want 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.240 to hear, Chris, but I think I have a pretty 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:42.199 solid answer for you. So you're dating this girl. No, sorry, 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:47.520 You've been in a relationship a friendship with this girl 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.360 for going on two years. She has a boyfriend. She 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.480 says it's bad, she's unhappy with him. She says she 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.760 really cares for you, but every time it comes up 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.400 in a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything, 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.520 and you're having a tough time because obviously you have 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:11.400 feelings for her too. Here's a deal guys and girls 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:17.000 can rarely have. I might get some flak for this, 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:21.440 but guys and girls can rarely have an intimate friendship 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:26.520 without one of them having feelings for the other. And 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:29.120 I know, I know, I've said this for years and 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:31.800 people always want to argue and they say, no, no, no no, 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.200 no no. I have a friend that's a girl and 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:38.040 we're like best friends. And I'm like, well, did she 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.000 ever have feelings for you? And did you ever have 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.520 feelings for her? Because that's a question that you might 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:45.360 not know the answer to because maybe she never told you. 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:48.720 But it usually works this way. That's just how we're built, 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:54.280 and so there's no doubt from your story that this 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.320 is the end result. You guys are really close. You 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:59.800 have this situation your friends for two years. You share 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:03.800 all these intimate secrets. She's venting about her boyfriend that 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:05.960 she doesn't like to you, and you're a guy, so 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.760 you help her give good advice through that. It makes 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.040 perfect sense, and she loves it. She can get a 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:13.880 guy's perspective on her problems. And it would be the 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.520 same way if you were in the situation with a 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:19.000 girlfriend and she could. This friend could give you advice 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:24.480 about your girlfriend. But these things end up happening this way. 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.360 This is we're humans, and this is a story that 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:33.360 repeats itself generation after generation. It's crazy because everything changes 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:38.440 around us, you know, media changes, lifestyle changes, transportation changes. 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.760 The men and women and our dealings with each other 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:47.000 are thousands of years old the same, right, So here's 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:48.960 what you need to do, Chris. You need to go 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:53.360 to her. You need to sit her down, one on one, 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:56.200 no one else in the room, and you say, I 0:15:56.240 --> 0:16:00.400 need to talk to you about something. I like you 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:06.040 more than friends. I really like you. I think there's 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.960 a chemistry between us. I think there's a connection between us, 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.400 and I would love to take this to the next level. 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:18.440 I understand by saying this, this could put our friendship 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:24.720 in serious jeopardy. I understand that. But the possibility of 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:28.720 us actually being more than friends is worth more to 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.760 me than salvaging a friendship when I know it's going 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:37.000 to break my heart in the end. Right, and then 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:38.560 you got to tell her this, And this is the 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:40.200 part you're not gonna like. This is the part where 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.320 it gets difficult. You got to tell her right then, 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:47.560 But before you answer, and before this goes any further, 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:52.920 if you have feelings for me too, then we need 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:56.160 I need to back away and we need to stop 0:16:56.200 --> 0:17:00.000 talking for a period of time for you to cut 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:04.600 it off with this boyfriend. And in doing that and 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:08.920 cutting it off with this guy completely, that will let 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:11.720 me know I have the green light to then take 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:16.119 you on a real date. And this is gonna be 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:19.520 tough because she puts her in a tough situation because 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.800 she has security in this old boyfriend, regardless of if 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:26.320 he's good or not. She has security in staying with 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.199 this guy, and you're the wild card. Like she doesn't know, 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:31.639 she doesn't know where this is gonna go. So why 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.480 is she gonna waste this effort and time she's put 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:39.120 into this boyfriend and go with this wild card. And 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:44.040 that's where it's up the chance, that's where we don't know. 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:46.720 But you got to do it. You have to do 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:49.880 it like I said it, or that it just drags 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:53.280 out and she never breaks up with him, or or 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.639 even worse, they get in a fight and they split 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.080 up on their own and then she rebounds to you, 0:17:58.240 --> 0:17:59.679 and then you're not really sure if you're just a 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:03.720 reba and you're just a soft landing spot for her 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:06.720 because she had trouble with this guy and she knew you, 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:09.040 so it was an easy thing. So you'll never know 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:13.280 if it was really her saying yes to you above 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:17.280 this other guy. It's tough, but that's what she gotta do, 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.600 and the answer is gonna be tough. Guys. I was 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.960 in a similar situation with Amber when I met her. 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.920 We met and had this We had this great chemistry 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:32.600 on a music video set, and I really liked her 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.639 and I thought she might like me, but I wasn't sure. 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:37.840 I just got the vibe that she might. But I 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:40.720 knew she had a boyfriend and they were getting serious, 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:44.320 and she came to me. This is a little bit 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:46.880 different situation, but I'll just tell the story. She came 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:50.119 to me about a week later after the video and 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:53.520 she texted me and she said, I need to know 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:59.200 if it's just me or was there's something more to 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:04.040 us when we were together. So I as hard as 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:07.320 it was for me, I said, yes, I felt it too. 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:12.159 But before we do anything else, before we take another step, 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.360 before we have another conversation or even a cup of coffee, 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:19.000 you're gonna have to break up with your boyfriend. And 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:23.000 when you do it, call me and we'll see what happens. 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:26.200 And as hard as it was to restrain myself because 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:29.359 I wanted to just say, yeah, yeah, let's go. I 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.640 had to do it that way, and I'm so, I mean, 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:35.159 now she's my wife. It worked, It really worked. And 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:37.960 it wasn't a trick or a game. It was it's 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.960 serious and and so she did she you know, it 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:42.720 took her. It took her. You know, I had to 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:44.280 give her her time to break up with them in 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.600 the appropriate way because he was far as I know, 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:48.840 he was a good dude. He do nothing wrong with 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.639 this guy. So she didn't have an excuse like they 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:54.760 weren't like fighting or something. So she did it. She 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.760 broke up with them. It was like a week after 0:19:56.880 --> 0:19:59.480 I said that, and then she said, okay, I broke 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:03.560 up with him. And I said, okay, next time I'm 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:06.080 in your area, which I was in college station. She 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:08.880 was up in Dallas. Next time I'm in Dallas, I'll 0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:13.840 i'll call you and let's go get some coffee. Which 0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:16.159 is another hard thing because I knew. I knew at 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.320 that moment too. I couldn't just say, you broke up 0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:21.280 with them, Great, jump in my car and just you know, 0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:23.920 fly to Dallas that next day and then we're going 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:26.520 to see a movie. That would be weird too, like 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:29.080 she's fresh out of this relationship, like maybe she needed 0:20:29.560 --> 0:20:32.840 a little bit of space to decompress from that and 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:37.480 to really let the dust settle and see if this 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:39.760 this feeling thing she had for me was real or 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:44.639 not anyway, Like maybe maybe she wasn't totally into the 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:48.480 boyfriend and that's what made me seem better, but I wasn't. 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:52.000 I wasn't the one for her. I just seemed better 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.320 than the one, the current one, and then that would 0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:58.280 make me just a bad answer to a to a 0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:02.520 bland relationship. So I didn't want that. So literally, like 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.800 a month went by after this, after she broke up 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:07.919 with them, Like a month went by, and I had 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:11.439 a little acoustic show in Dallas, and I texted her 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:13.879 and I said, Hey, I'm in walksa hatchie. I could 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:18.000 be in Dallas in twenty minutes tonight after my show. 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:21.199 If you want to do something, go grab some coffee, 0:21:21.200 --> 0:21:24.600 And she said yes, she said yes, So we went 0:21:24.640 --> 0:21:29.760 to Starbucks and we met at a Starbucks. I don't 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.480 know Amber could correct me. It was like nine o'clock, 0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:36.360 nine thirty ten, something like that, And we stayed there 0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:38.840 and talked until they had to kick us out because 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:41.679 they were closing the Starbucks. And then I got in 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:48.600 my truck and I went back three hours to college station. Chris, 0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:51.959 you got some hard business ahead of you, but I 0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:54.320 got faith in you, and I got faith in this plan. 0:21:55.240 --> 0:22:02.600 We take a break, be right back. Podcast has brought 0:22:02.600 --> 0:22:05.280 to you guys today by a movement that's mv MT. 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:09.159 It's almost the holidays and Movement the original watch brand 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.280 to break all the rules. Started by two college dropouts 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:15.040 who didn't want to overpay for a nice watch. They 0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:18.920 have you covered. 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