Speaker 1: You say you're pretty naive and you let guys walk
Speaker 1: all over you. Don't let them. You're not intentional, but
Speaker 1: you're just too nice and submissive. Stop being submissive. The
Speaker 1: boys you've been with have all been dirt bags and
Speaker 1: not treated you well. Get away from dirt bags, Stay
Speaker 1: away from them. You see what I mean? All of
Speaker 1: your answers are hidden inside your own question. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Thank you for listening, Thank you for
Speaker 1: those that have listened to so many episodes in a
Speaker 1: row and joined me on Monday mornings. This is just
Speaker 1: a special moment for me and me and you you
Speaker 1: listener that listens to these podcasts all the time. We
Speaker 1: have a special bond, don't we. Because things that you
Speaker 1: might see in a quick episode of The Smiths or
Speaker 1: an Instagram post or me on the stage, those type
Speaker 1: of things, you're getting a little piece of me. Right.
Speaker 1: The Smith's a bigger piece, but the podcast you get
Speaker 1: the biggest piece. You get what I hope is the
Speaker 1: true piece of my heart. Me and you, you listener,
Speaker 1: we have gone on a journey these last few years,
Speaker 1: and we have gone through some crazy stuff, some some
Speaker 1: crazy topics. I know we're going to do it again today.
Speaker 1: In fact, it's just me no no co host today.
Speaker 1: And I love the format of this podcast. I love
Speaker 1: going through your questions. And when I first started doing
Speaker 1: this on this podcast, when I changed the format of
Speaker 1: this to answer your questions, it started out like what's
Speaker 1: your favorite color or what's the favorite your favorite song
Speaker 1: you've ever written? Right, And then then it changed. And
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly when that happened or what the
Speaker 1: first question that led to this was, but you know,
Speaker 1: the first question comes in like I'm struggling in my
Speaker 1: marri marriage and I don't know what to do, and
Speaker 1: so it caught me off guard a little bit, but
Speaker 1: we walk through it. And what we do here is
Speaker 1: we walk through these questions, your questions as if we're
Speaker 1: sitting around a campfire and you walk up and I
Speaker 1: got the fire burning, and it's late at night, and
Speaker 1: you say, hey, can I talk to you about something,
Speaker 1: as if we have nothing else to do, we have
Speaker 1: nowhere else to be, And I say sure, and you
Speaker 1: say it there's something that's been on my mind. I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. And that's really what
Speaker 1: this has become. And I love that about this podcast,
Speaker 1: and so if you have any of those questions, those
Speaker 1: kind of campfire questions, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. I'd love to get to them. I'd love
Speaker 1: to walk through them. I have a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: them today. I know I'm not going to get to
Speaker 1: all these and so I'm just gonna randomly pick them,
Speaker 1: but I have them in the queue ready. I have
Speaker 1: not prepped, as you could see on my desk here.
Speaker 1: I don't have any notes. I only have my phone
Speaker 1: with the email, so I'm not prepared for what I'm
Speaker 1: going to jump into, and I like it that way.
Speaker 1: Here's a question. The first question. Like I said, I
Speaker 1: don't know what I've getting into. Okay, so here we go.
Speaker 1: Question that's the subject line, Hello there, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for taking my question. They are so helpful. Will
Speaker 1: you help me be anonymous? Yes? How do you remain
Speaker 1: a woman of God in love and honor a husband
Speaker 1: that is verbally abusive? How do we treat each other
Speaker 1: like we're supposed to be treated? So this is a
Speaker 1: great question. I'm kind of little shocks that I got
Speaker 1: into this this early in the podcast, but this is anonymous.
Speaker 1: She is she's in a marriage with a verbally, verbally
Speaker 1: abusive husband, and she's asking asking me, how do you
Speaker 1: remain a woman of God and love and honor your husband?
Speaker 1: And it's it's tough because because you've got to understand
Speaker 1: that what you're asking me, how do I love and
Speaker 1: honor as a godly woman? That's what you're asking, and
Speaker 1: to appropriately answer it, we have to understand that it
Speaker 1: takes two and the husband is required and supposed to,
Speaker 1: as a godly husband, love and honor you back, and
Speaker 1: that's not what you're getting. So that's why there's a problem. Right,
Speaker 1: I mean, if we could all agree, no matter no
Speaker 1: matter what reference you're reading here, no matter what, no
Speaker 1: matter what your worldview is, we could all agree that
Speaker 1: if you love and honor your spouse and they love
Speaker 1: and honor you back, you're gonna have a really good marriage.
Speaker 1: You're not. It's not gonna be perfect because we're humans.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have your ups and downs, You're gonna have
Speaker 1: rocky moments. But if, above all else in your life,
Speaker 1: you love and honor your spouse and they love and
Speaker 1: honor you back, you're kind of have a really solid,
Speaker 1: fundamentally right marriage, right asking I'm asking you, right, that's
Speaker 1: what I think. And so so here we are. You're
Speaker 1: you're in a verbally abusive relationship, which is tough because
Speaker 1: because abuse is abuse, you don't have to make it
Speaker 1: seem like you have it less severe because you're not
Speaker 1: physically abused. And sometimes the verbally abusive husbands could lead
Speaker 1: into physically abused so that but that's a different thing.
Speaker 1: But but this isn't any less of a problem for
Speaker 1: you than it would be someone saying they're they're only
Speaker 1: physically abused and not verbally abused. It's all bad, it's
Speaker 1: all terrible, and and my heart goes out to you, Anonymous.
Speaker 1: And so you're asking, how do how do do Your
Speaker 1: last sentence says this, how do we teach others how
Speaker 1: to treat us? Hmm, I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's right to ask, how do we teach others
Speaker 1: how to treat us? Because we can't control others at all.
Speaker 1: We can only control what we do and how we
Speaker 1: respond to others. That's what you have right now, Anonymous.
Speaker 1: That's that's what you can control, is how you're responding
Speaker 1: and how you're acting towards your spouse. And you do
Speaker 1: that as hard as it might seem by loving him
Speaker 1: and honoring him. And that is a controversial idea because
Speaker 1: you might think that instead of loving and honoring, you
Speaker 1: should defend an attack, right, because that's what you're getting.
Speaker 1: So you need to put your guard up in be
Speaker 1: defensive and attack back. But I promise you that will
Speaker 1: that will make it worse. There's no situation when when
Speaker 1: that would ever make it better. It's like it's like
Speaker 1: you're not going to conquer him or win him over
Speaker 1: with your anger and your defense is up. All that
Speaker 1: being said, that doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you you might be on a path. You might be
Speaker 1: on a path where this marriage is not going to work.
Speaker 1: And you know, any anybody that's listened to this podcast
Speaker 1: enough knows that if there's abuse in the in a relationship,
Speaker 1: that is grounds for divorce because you can't be abused.
Speaker 1: It's first of all, it's illegal. Right, It's like you
Speaker 1: you could press charges for that and you would win.
Speaker 1: And that that just because it's and that's that, that's
Speaker 1: this is your marriage. And so I don't I don't
Speaker 1: want to advocate that you need a state no matter what.
Speaker 1: All I'm saying is we're gonna this is a waiting game.
Speaker 1: You're gonna wait this out with him, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: love and honor him through the pain that you're getting.
Speaker 1: And if that doesn't work, if if this doesn't, if
Speaker 1: he doesn't have a change of heart, and man, this guy,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't see his wife or who she is
Speaker 1: as she's loving him and honoring him, if he still
Speaker 1: wants to throw the heat at that, then he's a
Speaker 1: terrible person and this marriage is gonna be over. And
Speaker 1: I don't think there's much more to it. Anonymous, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna tell you to I'm not gonna tell you
Speaker 1: a tactic on arguing or fighting, but you might wanna,
Speaker 1: might wanna have a good lawyer. I'm so sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. And that's a sorry to everyone that that's
Speaker 1: the first question. Moving on here, there's a question that
Speaker 1: says from Shannon from Michigan says, does having this new
Speaker 1: radio show job mean you will no longer be touring
Speaker 1: or doing music? Yeah? What Shannon is talking about is
Speaker 1: I just got a new job. It's really really cool,
Speaker 1: and we announced it recently last week that I'm going
Speaker 1: to be hosting a country music radio show. Called After Midnight.
Speaker 1: It runs on a lot of stations all across the
Speaker 1: country with a lot of listeners, and it's everything from
Speaker 1: little mom and pop stations to big metropolitan city stations,
Speaker 1: but it's a lot of them and they pick it
Speaker 1: up and it runs from midnight to six am, So
Speaker 1: it's a very vulnerable time for people to be listening
Speaker 1: to the radio. And I love that. I love the
Speaker 1: the challenge of that, I love the taking on the responsibility,
Speaker 1: the weight of what it means to host a radio
Speaker 1: show for people in the middle of the night. I'm
Speaker 1: talking people that are working the late night shift, that
Speaker 1: are just leaving the bars, that are getting up early
Speaker 1: to go to work and commute. They're getting up to
Speaker 1: work out and go jogging. They're stocking the shelves at
Speaker 1: the grocery store, they are over the road trucking. Their
Speaker 1: mom is get enough to nurse their babies. There's all
Speaker 1: different kinds of demographics, all different kinds of people that
Speaker 1: will be listening. And I'm so excited. And to answer
Speaker 1: your question, Shannon, of course I'm not gonna stop touring.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no, no. Of course I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: stop doing music. And I'm not gonna stop touring. I
Speaker 1: love those things love I love making music, I love
Speaker 1: writing music, and I love performing it. I will be
Speaker 1: doing those three things for the rest of my life
Speaker 1: at some capacity. And I've joked about that in the
Speaker 1: past to say that even if I'm on the on
Speaker 1: the street corner with a guitar case open with you know,
Speaker 1: getting tips and I'm playing songs on the side of
Speaker 1: the of the street, even if it's that to some extent,
Speaker 1: I will be still writing, singing and uh and performing,
Speaker 1: recording and performing and and this radio job will be
Speaker 1: will be work, and it will be it will take
Speaker 1: up a lot of my time. It will we will
Speaker 1: not be live, so I'm not going to be up
Speaker 1: every single night from midnight to six am. I'm going
Speaker 1: to record it as relevant of a time as I
Speaker 1: can to when it's gonna air, but a lot of
Speaker 1: times I'll be on the tour bus or in a
Speaker 1: hotel room or here in this podcast room or wherever
Speaker 1: I am at the time. Whatever I'm doing, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have my gear with me and I'm gonna be recording
Speaker 1: this and producing the show for you guys, so super excited.
Speaker 1: The answer is no, you I don't think, Shannon, I
Speaker 1: don't think you're going to see a change for me
Speaker 1: at all. That's the goal. The goal is that you
Speaker 1: don't perceive any different. I'm just the same old Granger.
Speaker 1: I'm still doing the Smith, I'm still doing this podcast,
Speaker 1: I'm still out on tour. I'm still putting out songs periodically,
Speaker 1: so hopefully you won't see a difference. Besides that, hopefully
Speaker 1: I'm on your local radio station in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night. Yeah, let's do let's hit one more and
Speaker 1: let's grab a brake. I'm gonna go to you. I'm
Speaker 1: just randomly scrolling here. This one says I don't know what.
Speaker 1: It says, says help, subject line says help, it says
Speaker 1: good morning. I found your podcast recently and I love
Speaker 1: the authenticity of it. It is so real and honest.
Speaker 1: Thank you. So my question is I'm in a situation
Speaker 1: with someone that has been going on for about two years.
Speaker 1: I met this person, we both had this instant connection.
Speaker 1: We talked whenever we would and could, but things got
Speaker 1: really personal. The issue is she has a boyfriend and
Speaker 1: she is so unhappy with it, and she keeps saying
Speaker 1: she's going to leave him. And that she really cares
Speaker 1: for me, but every time it comes up to have
Speaker 1: a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything. I'm
Speaker 1: having the hardest time letting go. What should I do?
Speaker 1: How do I let go before I lose my mind?
Speaker 1: Thank you, Chris, Chris, thanks for the question. Brother. I
Speaker 1: don't know where you are. I don't know where you're
Speaker 1: coming from. And if you guys, email include your location
Speaker 1: so I can get an idea of where you're from.
Speaker 1: I have an answer for you, and I have an
Speaker 1: answer that I don't think it's the answer you want
Speaker 1: to hear, Chris, but I think I have a pretty
Speaker 1: solid answer for you. So you're dating this girl. No, sorry,
Speaker 1: You've been in a relationship a friendship with this girl
Speaker 1: for going on two years. She has a boyfriend. She
Speaker 1: says it's bad, she's unhappy with him. She says she
Speaker 1: really cares for you, but every time it comes up
Speaker 1: in a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything,
Speaker 1: and you're having a tough time because obviously you have
Speaker 1: feelings for her too. Here's a deal guys and girls
Speaker 1: can rarely have. I might get some flak for this,
Speaker 1: but guys and girls can rarely have an intimate friendship
Speaker 1: without one of them having feelings for the other. And
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I've said this for years and
Speaker 1: people always want to argue and they say, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: no no. I have a friend that's a girl and
Speaker 1: we're like best friends. And I'm like, well, did she
Speaker 1: ever have feelings for you? And did you ever have
Speaker 1: feelings for her? Because that's a question that you might
Speaker 1: not know the answer to because maybe she never told you.
Speaker 1: But it usually works this way. That's just how we're built,
Speaker 1: and so there's no doubt from your story that this
Speaker 1: is the end result. You guys are really close. You
Speaker 1: have this situation your friends for two years. You share
Speaker 1: all these intimate secrets. She's venting about her boyfriend that
Speaker 1: she doesn't like to you, and you're a guy, so
Speaker 1: you help her give good advice through that. It makes
Speaker 1: perfect sense, and she loves it. She can get a
Speaker 1: guy's perspective on her problems. And it would be the
Speaker 1: same way if you were in the situation with a
Speaker 1: girlfriend and she could. This friend could give you advice
Speaker 1: about your girlfriend. But these things end up happening this way.
Speaker 1: This is we're humans, and this is a story that
Speaker 1: repeats itself generation after generation. It's crazy because everything changes
Speaker 1: around us, you know, media changes, lifestyle changes, transportation changes.
Speaker 1: The men and women and our dealings with each other
Speaker 1: are thousands of years old the same, right, So here's
Speaker 1: what you need to do, Chris. You need to go
Speaker 1: to her. You need to sit her down, one on one,
Speaker 1: no one else in the room, and you say, I
Speaker 1: need to talk to you about something. I like you
Speaker 1: more than friends. I really like you. I think there's
Speaker 1: a chemistry between us. I think there's a connection between us,
Speaker 1: and I would love to take this to the next level.
Speaker 1: I understand by saying this, this could put our friendship
Speaker 1: in serious jeopardy. I understand that. But the possibility of
Speaker 1: us actually being more than friends is worth more to
Speaker 1: me than salvaging a friendship when I know it's going
Speaker 1: to break my heart in the end. Right, and then
Speaker 1: you got to tell her this, And this is the
Speaker 1: part you're not gonna like. This is the part where
Speaker 1: it gets difficult. You got to tell her right then,
Speaker 1: But before you answer, and before this goes any further,
Speaker 1: if you have feelings for me too, then we need
Speaker 1: I need to back away and we need to stop
Speaker 1: talking for a period of time for you to cut
Speaker 1: it off with this boyfriend. And in doing that and
Speaker 1: cutting it off with this guy completely, that will let
Speaker 1: me know I have the green light to then take
Speaker 1: you on a real date. And this is gonna be
Speaker 1: tough because she puts her in a tough situation because
Speaker 1: she has security in this old boyfriend, regardless of if
Speaker 1: he's good or not. She has security in staying with
Speaker 1: this guy, and you're the wild card. Like she doesn't know,
Speaker 1: she doesn't know where this is gonna go. So why
Speaker 1: is she gonna waste this effort and time she's put
Speaker 1: into this boyfriend and go with this wild card. And
Speaker 1: that's where it's up the chance, that's where we don't know.
Speaker 1: But you got to do it. You have to do
Speaker 1: it like I said it, or that it just drags
Speaker 1: out and she never breaks up with him, or or
Speaker 1: even worse, they get in a fight and they split
Speaker 1: up on their own and then she rebounds to you,
Speaker 1: and then you're not really sure if you're just a
Speaker 1: reba and you're just a soft landing spot for her
Speaker 1: because she had trouble with this guy and she knew you,
Speaker 1: so it was an easy thing. So you'll never know
Speaker 1: if it was really her saying yes to you above
Speaker 1: this other guy. It's tough, but that's what she gotta do,
Speaker 1: and the answer is gonna be tough. Guys. I was
Speaker 1: in a similar situation with Amber when I met her.
Speaker 1: We met and had this We had this great chemistry
Speaker 1: on a music video set, and I really liked her
Speaker 1: and I thought she might like me, but I wasn't sure.
Speaker 1: I just got the vibe that she might. But I
Speaker 1: knew she had a boyfriend and they were getting serious,
Speaker 1: and she came to me. This is a little bit
Speaker 1: different situation, but I'll just tell the story. She came
Speaker 1: to me about a week later after the video and
Speaker 1: she texted me and she said, I need to know
Speaker 1: if it's just me or was there's something more to
Speaker 1: us when we were together. So I as hard as
Speaker 1: it was for me, I said, yes, I felt it too.
Speaker 1: But before we do anything else, before we take another step,
Speaker 1: before we have another conversation or even a cup of coffee,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to break up with your boyfriend. And
Speaker 1: when you do it, call me and we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1: And as hard as it was to restrain myself because
Speaker 1: I wanted to just say, yeah, yeah, let's go. I
Speaker 1: had to do it that way, and I'm so, I mean,
Speaker 1: now she's my wife. It worked, It really worked. And
Speaker 1: it wasn't a trick or a game. It was it's
Speaker 1: serious and and so she did she you know, it
Speaker 1: took her. It took her. You know, I had to
Speaker 1: give her her time to break up with them in
Speaker 1: the appropriate way because he was far as I know,
Speaker 1: he was a good dude. He do nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: this guy. So she didn't have an excuse like they
Speaker 1: weren't like fighting or something. So she did it. She
Speaker 1: broke up with them. It was like a week after
Speaker 1: I said that, and then she said, okay, I broke
Speaker 1: up with him. And I said, okay, next time I'm
Speaker 1: in your area, which I was in college station. She
Speaker 1: was up in Dallas. Next time I'm in Dallas, I'll
Speaker 1: i'll call you and let's go get some coffee. Which
Speaker 1: is another hard thing because I knew. I knew at
Speaker 1: that moment too. I couldn't just say, you broke up
Speaker 1: with them, Great, jump in my car and just you know,
Speaker 1: fly to Dallas that next day and then we're going
Speaker 1: to see a movie. That would be weird too, like
Speaker 1: she's fresh out of this relationship, like maybe she needed
Speaker 1: a little bit of space to decompress from that and
Speaker 1: to really let the dust settle and see if this
Speaker 1: this feeling thing she had for me was real or
Speaker 1: not anyway, Like maybe maybe she wasn't totally into the
Speaker 1: boyfriend and that's what made me seem better, but I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't the one for her. I just seemed better
Speaker 1: than the one, the current one, and then that would
Speaker 1: make me just a bad answer to a to a
Speaker 1: bland relationship. So I didn't want that. So literally, like
Speaker 1: a month went by after this, after she broke up
Speaker 1: with them, Like a month went by, and I had
Speaker 1: a little acoustic show in Dallas, and I texted her
Speaker 1: and I said, Hey, I'm in walksa hatchie. I could
Speaker 1: be in Dallas in twenty minutes tonight after my show.
Speaker 1: If you want to do something, go grab some coffee,
Speaker 1: And she said yes, she said yes, So we went
Speaker 1: to Starbucks and we met at a Starbucks. I don't
Speaker 1: know Amber could correct me. It was like nine o'clock,
Speaker 1: nine thirty ten, something like that, And we stayed there
Speaker 1: and talked until they had to kick us out because
Speaker 1: they were closing the Starbucks. And then I got in
Speaker 1: my truck and I went back three hours to college station. Chris,
Speaker 1: you got some hard business ahead of you, but I
Speaker 1: got faith in you, and I got faith in this plan.
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Speaker 1: We will walk through it could be any subject, could
Speaker 1: be about anything, and we've seen them all. We've seen
Speaker 1: every kind of subject on here, next question on here.
Speaker 1: The subject line says, I need some financial help. Hey gring,
Speaker 1: your My name is Luke. I'm twenty two years old
Speaker 1: from a small town called Meridian, Oklahoma. I bought my
Speaker 1: first house at nineteen and my girlfriend that had just
Speaker 1: graduated high school moved in with me and we've been
Speaker 1: here for three years and things are great. But there
Speaker 1: is a twenty acre farm that just came up for
Speaker 1: sale right next to me, and I've always wanted this property,
Speaker 1: but it's two hundred and eighty thousand dollars. I got
Speaker 1: approved for the loan, but I'm a maintenance man and
Speaker 1: I don't make a fortune, so times will be tough
Speaker 1: on us if we go through with it. Note that
Speaker 1: my girlfriend is currently in college and it's going to
Speaker 1: be graduating soon, so that will help when she gets
Speaker 1: a good job. What's your opinion on what we should do? Luke?
Speaker 1: Thanks for emailing Buddy twenty two, two hundred and eighty
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. I know that sounds like a lot, but
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people listening right now that are
Speaker 1: going man, including me. Man, I wish there was a
Speaker 1: twenty acre farm for only two hundred and eighty thousand
Speaker 1: dollars around me because prices are skyrocketing now. And I know,
Speaker 1: like I said, I know, that's a lot of money. Uh,
Speaker 1: but still, that's twenty acre farm is very valuable and
Speaker 1: really important and a big deal. So let's dive into this.
Speaker 1: I know that people that have listened to this podcast
Speaker 1: and listen to me a lot probably know where I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lead with this. But Luke, you're twenty two. You
Speaker 1: got your first house. Congratulations, dude, you bought a house
Speaker 1: at nineteen. That's awesome. You're way ahead of the game.
Speaker 1: You're way ahead of anywhere I was. But you have
Speaker 1: a problem. You got a girlfriend you're playing house with
Speaker 1: that moved in. She's been with you for three years.
Speaker 1: I know you say things are going great, and she's
Speaker 1: probably great. Has really nothing to do with her at all,
Speaker 1: But the fact is we have to start thinking about
Speaker 1: marriage here. Like, you can't be thinking about a twenty
Speaker 1: acre farm unless unless you've got things locked down with
Speaker 1: this wedding, because you got to think about an engagement ring.
Speaker 1: You got to get a nice one that's gonna make
Speaker 1: her proud, responsible, but proud and worthy of her beautiful hand. Right,
Speaker 1: you got a wedding to plan. It's gonna cost money
Speaker 1: to put on this wedding, and hopefully it's a decently
Speaker 1: small you know, friends and close family, family and close friends.
Speaker 1: But and then then you're gonna think about babies down
Speaker 1: the road. So rather, there are things that are coming
Speaker 1: up in your future that you have. You have reversed
Speaker 1: a little bit. You got things. The puzzle is a
Speaker 1: little bit out of order here. So thinking about a
Speaker 1: twenty acre farm, even buying a house is great, and
Speaker 1: these are wonderful things, but out of order, they start
Speaker 1: getting messed up. So your girl, like I said, maybe
Speaker 1: she's great, she's probably great. What if she breaks up
Speaker 1: with you after you take on the note of this
Speaker 1: farm and and then you're not you're not and unable
Speaker 1: to pay it on your on your own salary. Like
Speaker 1: now we have problems. What happens if the wedding that
Speaker 1: she wants goes way out of proportion and that costs
Speaker 1: too much. Now now we're dealing with this, or her
Speaker 1: college debt is more than we thought that that's why
Speaker 1: things have to stay in a certain order. Now you're
Speaker 1: right and being excited about this farm. Now I'm gonna
Speaker 1: read your words here. They said it came up for
Speaker 1: sale right next to me, if you mean next door
Speaker 1: to you, which that sounds like that's what you mean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like if it's down the road, okay, I understand, that's
Speaker 1: a little different. But if it's touching your fence line, then,
Speaker 1: like the rule in real estate and farm real estate is,
Speaker 1: if it touches your fence line, you buy it at
Speaker 1: all cost. You get a second job, You become a
Speaker 1: newspaper delivery man, could be anything. Go sell vacuum cleaner's
Speaker 1: door to door, you do anything. You can, work the
Speaker 1: night shift to get this loan, which you're approved of,
Speaker 1: to pay off this loan, to get the property that
Speaker 1: touches yours, because this opportunity might never happen again. This land,
Speaker 1: if it's touching yours, it might never happen again. These people,
Speaker 1: the next people that buy it, could die on this
Speaker 1: property eighty years from now, and none of the other
Speaker 1: properties around you could sell. It's a possibility. But if
Speaker 1: you can get it, which you've got this loan, then
Speaker 1: you're approved. You take it, You pay for it. You
Speaker 1: cut a gate right there in your fence line, and
Speaker 1: you make a road right into the new twenty acres.
Speaker 1: And I know it sounds like a lot, but if
Speaker 1: you don't do it now, then five years down the road,
Speaker 1: that two hundred and eighty thousand is going to be
Speaker 1: a half a million dollar twenty acre farm. I promise you.
Speaker 1: I know it's happened. It's going to happen in Oklahoma,
Speaker 1: it's happening in Texas, and a lot of people listening
Speaker 1: are saying it's happening here. It's happening here. So we're
Speaker 1: talking ten years down the road, this farm is going
Speaker 1: to be four five, six, seven, eight hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: It just is. It's real estate is not going down,
Speaker 1: so you're right to think that you need to acquire
Speaker 1: it at all costs. But I think you got things
Speaker 1: mixed up with the girlfriend, Like at three years, three
Speaker 1: years is enough time to know if she's your wife.
Speaker 1: There's no use playing around anymore. I mean you need
Speaker 1: to use your brain and figure out is am I
Speaker 1: compatible with this person as a spouse? Does she have
Speaker 1: all that it takes to be my lifetime companion? And
Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty sure about this that you could
Speaker 1: know that in less than three years. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: you could know that in a decent amount of time
Speaker 1: that doesn't take a second more than you're already involved
Speaker 1: with this one. So either this is it, put a
Speaker 1: ring on it, go get you one, have a responsible wedding,
Speaker 1: decent sized priced ring that you could afford, start making
Speaker 1: plans for babies, and then if this property is still around,
Speaker 1: get it. Otherwise, I think I think the puzzles a
Speaker 1: little bit out of place, brother, But thank you for emailing.
Speaker 1: Next question, this comes from ill see this says. It
Speaker 1: doesn't say who it's from, but it says subjectline work.
Speaker 1: Hey Grandeur, I'm gonna keep the short simple. I've always
Speaker 1: been drawn to the outdoors. I love hunting, fishing, etc.
Speaker 1: I would very much like some advice on how to
Speaker 1: start a career on doing those sorts of things, doing
Speaker 1: what I love. PS. I love the channel and I
Speaker 1: wish you all the way. Till earl, I said, Hi,
Speaker 1: thank you, thanks for watching, thanks for listening, Thanks for
Speaker 1: the kind words. Yeah, I think we have I'm right
Speaker 1: there with you. I echo these thoughts. I love hunting, fishing, outdoors,
Speaker 1: et cetera. And so I think we have a couple
Speaker 1: options to walk through. First option, you get a regular
Speaker 1: job that pays decent money. You work your way up
Speaker 1: maybe maybe whatever you have now the job you have. Now,
Speaker 1: you start working your way up the ladder. You're making
Speaker 1: some decent money. And then you do that five days
Speaker 1: a week, and on the weekend and half a Friday,
Speaker 1: you're going out and you're fishing, you're hunting, you're going
Speaker 1: all out in the outdoors. And you could you can
Speaker 1: get a lease, dear lease. You can get like six
Speaker 1: seven of your buddies and all go in together and
Speaker 1: get this lease lease land. That's what we do in Texas.
Speaker 1: But the lease land for hunting or fishing. And so
Speaker 1: you can find like the perfect property. It's got the
Speaker 1: got the pond on it, got bass. You stock it
Speaker 1: with bass and calffish, put your minos in every season,
Speaker 1: make sure the algae is taken care of, and make
Speaker 1: sure hopefully there's some ducks on the pond. Then you
Speaker 1: get your deer buying set up. You're putting your protein
Speaker 1: feed out, you're getting your food plots ready. You could
Speaker 1: do all that half a Friday and Saturday and Sunday
Speaker 1: all year long, and you're making enough money through your
Speaker 1: regular job where you know you might not love it,
Speaker 1: but but it's work and you're doing you're using your
Speaker 1: hands and you're getting you're making money and you get
Speaker 1: to put it into what you love. That's a good life.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people choose that option to you
Speaker 1: would be And by the way, by the way, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of doing, I kind of do option A. Like
Speaker 1: I love music, but I really like to hunt and fish,
Speaker 1: and so you know, music helps fund that. Really. Option two,
Speaker 1: here's option two. You go to a hunting outfitter, a
Speaker 1: fishing guide outfit company. There's a lot of them, you know,
Speaker 1: in the sporting areas of the world, and you say, look,
Speaker 1: I love hunting, I love fishing. I know everything about it.
Speaker 1: I want to come into the ground floor. You could
Speaker 1: do this as a sporting goods store. Go to the
Speaker 1: sporting goods store and go man. I could sell these
Speaker 1: rodden reels. I could put them together. I could show
Speaker 1: people all the different combinations and the different levels that
Speaker 1: you want to spend according to your your talent level.
Speaker 1: I'm really good at setting up archery. I could help
Speaker 1: people and you can get a job at sporting goods,
Speaker 1: you know, and work your way up that ladder. And
Speaker 1: if you really want to get dirty, which is I
Speaker 1: think this is more what you mean, then you go
Speaker 1: to the outfitters and you say, look, I want to
Speaker 1: work for you, whatever it takes. I want to come
Speaker 1: in and take out the trash at the offices. I
Speaker 1: want to fill your truck with gas. I want to
Speaker 1: clean your rifles, whatever it takes. I want to work
Speaker 1: for you guys. And they might say, hey, we we
Speaker 1: can't afford you. And at that point you got to
Speaker 1: go I'll entern. I want to prove to you that
Speaker 1: I love to do this, and then I'm good at it,
Speaker 1: and then I could be an asset to you and
Speaker 1: your outfit And then when you come in, if you
Speaker 1: get to come in at a ground level like that,
Speaker 1: and if they say no, you go to another one.
Speaker 1: But when you get to finally get a yes to
Speaker 1: this and you get to come in, then you want
Speaker 1: to become someone that's indispensable, someone that they can't They
Speaker 1: used to think they couldn't afford to hire you. Now
Speaker 1: they think they can't afford to fire you because you're
Speaker 1: too good at everything. And you do the little things
Speaker 1: right about, Like be the guy that goes to your
Speaker 1: boss and goes, hey, I could cut your grass on
Speaker 1: the weekends at your house. I could do I could
Speaker 1: take your laundry to the dry cleaning. I could fill
Speaker 1: your truck with fuel. Hey, let me clean those rifles
Speaker 1: for you. I'll bring on to my house. Don't even
Speaker 1: worry about it. I'll take care of it. And then
Speaker 1: when it comes time for a budget cut and they're
Speaker 1: looking who to hire and fire or promote, they're like, man,
Speaker 1: don't touch this guy. Why because he does my grass
Speaker 1: and does my laundry and fills up my fuel and
Speaker 1: cleans my rifles. Don't get rid of that guy. He
Speaker 1: is perfect for me. He's indispensable to this organization. So
Speaker 1: be that guy. Work your way up that way. So
Speaker 1: those are your options. And I'd say that I say
Speaker 1: that kind of advice for people that are wanting to
Speaker 1: get into the music business, people wanting to get into
Speaker 1: law enforcement, people that want to get that so badly,
Speaker 1: are passionate about getting into any one career field. I say, man,
Speaker 1: going from the ground floor, go in there, be indispensable,
Speaker 1: take out the trash. Be the guy that delivers groceries,
Speaker 1: bring breakfast in on Monday morning, bring the donuts. Make
Speaker 1: sure the coffee's hot all the time. Learn to make
Speaker 1: the coffee exactly like your boss likes it, and make
Speaker 1: it always hot and always ready, and that cup is
Speaker 1: always clean. Be that guy in any of these fields
Speaker 1: and you'll succeed. Next question says subject line girl Help
Speaker 1: and Faith says Hey, mister Smith, my name is Xander.
Speaker 1: I'm seventeen years old from Illinois. I just recently started
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. I love listening to it in
Speaker 1: your music. I have two different questions for you. First one,
Speaker 1: I recently met this girl that I want to have
Speaker 1: a conversation with, but I'm not gonna lie. I'm not
Speaker 1: good at talking at women. I can never keep a
Speaker 1: conversation going with them. I was wondering if you had
Speaker 1: any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. Second
Speaker 1: question is this. I was younger, my family always went
Speaker 1: to our Catholic church and I read the Bible. Then
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, we just stopped all that. I've been
Speaker 1: struggling recently with many things that I'm unsure of. I
Speaker 1: believe the Lord could help point me in the right direction,
Speaker 1: and I just want to reconnect with him. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the best way to do this is. I
Speaker 1: appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you and
Speaker 1: sorry for the long questions, Xander, Thank you, Xander shout
Speaker 1: out to Illinois. I appreciate you. Email and brother. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's dive into each of these questions. Question one, you
Speaker 1: got your girl? Question? Listen, bro, I was once you.
Speaker 1: I was once seventeen, not good at starting conversations or
Speaker 1: talking to women, in fact, terrified of it. And I
Speaker 1: would stumble and mutter and mess up words and shake visibly,
Speaker 1: and I would get it all planned out, like man,
Speaker 1: I have everything I want to say, and I would
Speaker 1: rehearse it and it would sound so good, and then
Speaker 1: I would start approaching a girl in the hallway and
Speaker 1: I would start shaking, and then I would close up
Speaker 1: and then would get tense and my eyes would start watering,
Speaker 1: and that's like a mess. And then I get and
Speaker 1: then it made it worse when I started thinking that
Speaker 1: maybe she could see my hands on my sides are shaking,
Speaker 1: and then she's gonna think I'm just complete idiot and
Speaker 1: just a mumbling moron. And then she's gonna think worse
Speaker 1: of me than I was in the beginning, and I
Speaker 1: already wasn't great. So I think a lot of guys
Speaker 1: are like this, Sander. A lot of seventeen year olds
Speaker 1: are like this, and the ones that aren't, the pretenders
Speaker 1: that aren't, are probably gonna peak in high school, and
Speaker 1: that's the most successful they'll ever be in life is
Speaker 1: in high school because they could talk. But the only
Speaker 1: downhill from here for them. I promise you, buddy, you're
Speaker 1: in the right place. You're nervous, and I just think
Speaker 1: that that's very normal. I remember being seventeen and feeling
Speaker 1: like I had horse blinders on, like I couldn't see
Speaker 1: anything that was going on more than five ft in
Speaker 1: front of me, and nothing in my periphials at all.
Speaker 1: That's the way our brains are. And then there's girls
Speaker 1: that are just so smart and witty and ahead of
Speaker 1: the game and mature, and I mean they still are
Speaker 1: right like, they're always proportionately just more savvy than we are.
Speaker 1: And that's part of the struggle that we have, is
Speaker 1: that we're just always a little bit behind. That's why
Speaker 1: you see guys will typically date girls that are younger
Speaker 1: than than them because they're trying to accommodate their brain capacity.
Speaker 1: Like that's the truth. Like a seventeen year old guy
Speaker 1: would probably date a fifteen year old because she's the
Speaker 1: same level as him, And no way we talked to
Speaker 1: an eighteen year old, Like, no way, she's way ahead
Speaker 1: of him. Here's my suggestion to you in this, walk
Speaker 1: up to this girl that you like, and be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: be honest, shakes and quivers and all. And this is
Speaker 1: advice that I wouldn't have been very good at. And
Speaker 1: this is harder to do than it is for me
Speaker 1: to tell you. But I would walk up and I
Speaker 1: would say, I'm Xander. I know that you don't know me,
Speaker 1: but I think you're so beautiful. And I'm really nervous
Speaker 1: right now because I'm nervous to talk to pretty girls
Speaker 1: and I'm shaking, and I just was wondering if maybe
Speaker 1: one of these days we can go on a date
Speaker 1: or something. And hey, girls, correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: But if a guy is vulnerable like that and just honest,
Speaker 1: and you could see him shaking and his lip is
Speaker 1: quivering because he's literally intimidated because you're so beautiful, I
Speaker 1: think that says something right, like that means something and
Speaker 1: it matters, you know. In the movie Back to the Future,
Speaker 1: I love that movie, and George McFly goes into the
Speaker 1: cafe and he sees sitting in the booth and he
Speaker 1: walks up to her and he says, Lorraine, I'm George McFly.
Speaker 1: You are my density. And she's like what, and he says,
Speaker 1: I mean you are my destiny and he messes up
Speaker 1: the words. But that's it's beautiful that way, and she
Speaker 1: loves it. And I just think being vulnerable matters, and
Speaker 1: that should be your your approach in this second question,
Speaker 1: different topic, but I think I could might, I might
Speaker 1: be able to relate them a little bit the same
Speaker 1: you're you're you went to Catholic church, you read the Bible,
Speaker 1: and then that stopped, and you want to reconnect with God.
Speaker 1: My my opinion on this, my advice would be, there
Speaker 1: is a Christian organization at your school. For me, there
Speaker 1: was one called Young Life, and I would go to this,
Speaker 1: I would get I would get involved with Young Life
Speaker 1: right and go in there with with a with an
Speaker 1: open mind that you're gonna go and have pizza and
Speaker 1: have good fellowship with people, and most importantly you're gonna
Speaker 1: meet friends that have the same vision as you. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be don't think of it as Catholic.
Speaker 1: Think of it as a Christian organization. And through this
Speaker 1: and through the pizza Knights and the game nights and
Speaker 1: the activities that you'll get to hang out with these people,
Speaker 1: that kind of fellowship, I mean, that's the church, and
Speaker 1: that will draw you closer to God through the group,
Speaker 1: and crazy stuff can happen in that. You know, God
Speaker 1: works in those kind of environments with seventeen year old kids.
Speaker 1: He does. And to relate it back to the girl,
Speaker 1: this could be a really good thing for you to
Speaker 1: go to this girl and you're nervous and you're shaken,
Speaker 1: and you say, I'm Xander and you're beautiful, and I'm nervous.
Speaker 1: But I was wondering if you wanted to go to
Speaker 1: the Young Life Pizza night with me. It's Thursday night,
Speaker 1: and I think that's a really good end. And you're vulnerable,
Speaker 1: and then then you get to fellowship with like minded
Speaker 1: people and God works in those environments and I think
Speaker 1: you would you would feel, you would feel God's presence
Speaker 1: and you would see the fruits of that. Let me
Speaker 1: know how this goes? Okay, I appreciate the question. Brother.
Speaker 1: This next one, it says, Hey Granger, first of all.
Speaker 1: First of all, I love what you've done with the podcast.
Speaker 1: Is truly an inspiration to me. I genuinely look forward
Speaker 1: to new episodes. I've been a fan of your music forever,
Speaker 1: and I'm so happy to see you talking all things God,
Speaker 1: America and hard work on your podcast. I like that God,
Speaker 1: America and hard work. I'll take that lay, I'll brand
Speaker 1: it that way. That's perfect. She says. I'd like to
Speaker 1: stay anonymous, please. I'm an eighteen year old girl from
Speaker 1: southern California. I'm headed to Texas for college this fall,
Speaker 1: and to be honest, I'm worried not about leaving home,
Speaker 1: but about the things I may experience. Frat boys, beer,
Speaker 1: other things I'm not used to, And honestly, I'm worried
Speaker 1: that I'm going to fall into sin and pleasure or
Speaker 1: even be taken advantage of by guys. I'm pretty naive
Speaker 1: and I often let guys walk all over me. Not intentionally,
Speaker 1: but I'm just too nice and too submissive. The boys
Speaker 1: I've been with, they've all been dirt bags, and they've
Speaker 1: not treated me well from a man's perspective? How can
Speaker 1: I stay on the right path through my college experience,
Speaker 1: from staying with God to making good choices with boys?
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Okay, Anonymous, I'm about to go
Speaker 1: after you a little bit. My listeners know you can't
Speaker 1: come to me. Look, this is out of love. I'm
Speaker 1: going to give you some tough love here. Don't come
Speaker 1: to me with the question that you've already answered, every
Speaker 1: single question hidden inside your own email. And if you
Speaker 1: want me to repeat it back and then I'll say it.
Speaker 1: You say you're worried about falling into sin to pleasure,
Speaker 1: don't You said you don't know about frat boys and
Speaker 1: beer and things you're not used to stay away from it.
Speaker 1: You say you're pretty naive and you let guys walk
Speaker 1: alo all over you. Don't let them. You're not intentional,
Speaker 1: but you're just too nice and submissive. Stop being submissive.
Speaker 1: The boys you've been with have all been dirt bags
Speaker 1: and not treated you well. Get away from dirt bags,
Speaker 1: stay away from them. You see what I mean? All
Speaker 1: of your answers are hidden inside your own question. In fact,
Speaker 1: here's an exercise for you. Take a pen and paper,
Speaker 1: write and write this down. You're gonna write your email,
Speaker 1: which you have in your outbox, the one you sent
Speaker 1: to me, and I want you to take your email
Speaker 1: and I want you to write the reverse email to yourself,
Speaker 1: and it's going to go something like this. I'm headed
Speaker 1: to Texas for college this fall, and to be honest,
Speaker 1: I'm not worried at all. I love home, but I'm
Speaker 1: excited about the new things I'm going to experience. I'm
Speaker 1: going to stay away from frat boys and bearing those
Speaker 1: other things, and honestly, I have no problem staying away
Speaker 1: from sin and pleasure. I will not be a taken
Speaker 1: advantage of by guys. I'm not naive, and I will
Speaker 1: not let guys walk all over me. I'm a very
Speaker 1: intentional person. I am nice, but I'm not submissive. I've
Speaker 1: been around dirtbags in the past. I've learned my lesson.
Speaker 1: I can now identify them and I will stay away
Speaker 1: from them in the future and then keep that as
Speaker 1: a little reference for you to go back to. And
Speaker 1: what I want you to do, Anonymous, is when you
Speaker 1: move to Texas, hopefully you're going to Texas A and M,
Speaker 1: make sure you're immediately getting involved and that starts right
Speaker 1: now in southern California. I want you to go on
Speaker 1: their web page and start finding all the organizations that
Speaker 1: you could become a part of before you get there.
Speaker 1: So you're not gonna go in blind. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: go pot luck in a dorm room. You're not going
Speaker 1: to walk down the down the campus with your books
Speaker 1: and just randomly look at where you should go. You're
Speaker 1: gonna have this planned out before you get there. You
Speaker 1: have time still, so you're gonna find the organizations of people,
Speaker 1: girls that you want to be associated with, that can
Speaker 1: keep you accountable and keep you away from all these
Speaker 1: things that you have already identified as possible problems in
Speaker 1: your character. So you're gonna go in, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: go girls. And I don't care if it's a chess club,
Speaker 1: or if it's volleyball or softball or innermural anything, or
Speaker 1: math club or a sorority if you want to pay
Speaker 1: money for that, I don't care any of this as
Speaker 1: long as it's good girls you could surround yourself with,
Speaker 1: and you're forming a community that becomes your armor around you,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be straight up honest with them and
Speaker 1: you're gonna say, girls, I've had problems in the past
Speaker 1: being around dirt bag guys, and they're gonna go, we
Speaker 1: got your back. And one night you're out at a
Speaker 1: party and a dirt bag walks up. Everyone can see
Speaker 1: him coming. The girls create a wall around you, and
Speaker 1: you go and they look at him and they go
Speaker 1: out of here. She doesn't hang around guys like you,
Speaker 1: And that way, you're not vulnerable, you're not open, your
Speaker 1: force field is not down, and you're protected by your group,
Speaker 1: your core group around you. That matters, that accountability, those
Speaker 1: mama hens matter, and you will be the same for
Speaker 1: them because they're gonna share the same things they got
Speaker 1: going on and their problems, and you'll be able to
Speaker 1: counteract it because you're gonna overlap like this, like this
Speaker 1: mesh of steel that where the problems that they have
Speaker 1: are gonna be your strengths and your problems are going
Speaker 1: to be their strengths, and you're going to protect each other.
Speaker 1: But you got to find this ahead of time. You
Speaker 1: got to plan this out, do this now, and you
Speaker 1: will love it. You will love college and you won't
Speaker 1: be submissive, and you won't get into the wrong crowds
Speaker 1: you'll mess up, we all do. But when you mess
Speaker 1: up with this team around you, they help lift you
Speaker 1: back up and get you on your feet. You're gonna
Speaker 1: do just fine. I love these emails, guys. Thank you
Speaker 1: for what you bring to me and the fight that
Speaker 1: you bring out of me. I love it and I
Speaker 1: look forward to seeing y'all every single Monday. Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all
Speaker 1: of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating
Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
Speaker 1: this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Gi