1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: You say you're pretty naive and you let guys walk 2 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: all over you. Don't let them. You're not intentional, but 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: you're just too nice and submissive. Stop being submissive. The 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: boys you've been with have all been dirt bags and 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,320 Speaker 1: not treated you well. Get away from dirt bags, Stay 6 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,159 Speaker 1: away from them. You see what I mean? All of 7 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: your answers are hidden inside your own question. Welcome back 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,480 Speaker 1: to the podcast. Thank you for listening, Thank you for 9 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: those that have listened to so many episodes in a 10 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: row and joined me on Monday mornings. This is just 11 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: a special moment for me and me and you you 12 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 1: listener that listens to these podcasts all the time. We 13 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: have a special bond, don't we. Because things that you 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: might see in a quick episode of The Smiths or 15 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: an Instagram post or me on the stage, those type 16 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: of things, you're getting a little piece of me. Right. 17 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: The Smith's a bigger piece, but the podcast you get 18 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: the biggest piece. You get what I hope is the 19 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: true piece of my heart. Me and you, you listener, 20 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 1: we have gone on a journey these last few years, 21 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: and we have gone through some crazy stuff, some some 22 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: crazy topics. I know we're going to do it again today. 23 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: In fact, it's just me no no co host today. 24 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 1: And I love the format of this podcast. I love 25 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: going through your questions. And when I first started doing 26 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: this on this podcast, when I changed the format of 27 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:42,320 Speaker 1: this to answer your questions, it started out like what's 28 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: your favorite color or what's the favorite your favorite song 29 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: you've ever written? Right, And then then it changed. And 30 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: I don't know exactly when that happened or what the 31 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: first question that led to this was, but you know, 32 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: the first question comes in like I'm struggling in my 33 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: marri marriage and I don't know what to do, and 34 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: so it caught me off guard a little bit, but 35 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: we walk through it. And what we do here is 36 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: we walk through these questions, your questions as if we're 37 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: sitting around a campfire and you walk up and I 38 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: got the fire burning, and it's late at night, and 39 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: you say, hey, can I talk to you about something, 40 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: as if we have nothing else to do, we have 41 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: nowhere else to be, And I say sure, and you 42 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: say it there's something that's been on my mind. I 43 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. And that's really what 44 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: this has become. And I love that about this podcast, 45 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: and so if you have any of those questions, those 46 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: kind of campfire questions, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail 47 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: dot com. I'd love to get to them. I'd love 48 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: to walk through them. I have a whole bunch of 49 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,519 Speaker 1: them today. I know I'm not going to get to 50 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: all these and so I'm just gonna randomly pick them, 51 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: but I have them in the queue ready. I have 52 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: not prepped, as you could see on my desk here. 53 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: I don't have any notes. I only have my phone 54 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: with the email, so I'm not prepared for what I'm 55 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: going to jump into, and I like it that way. 56 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: Here's a question. The first question. Like I said, I 57 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 1: don't know what I've getting into. Okay, so here we go. 58 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: Question that's the subject line, Hello there, thank you so 59 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: much for taking my question. They are so helpful. Will 60 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: you help me be anonymous? Yes? How do you remain 61 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: a woman of God in love and honor a husband 62 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: that is verbally abusive? How do we treat each other 63 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: like we're supposed to be treated? So this is a 64 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: great question. I'm kind of little shocks that I got 65 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: into this this early in the podcast, but this is anonymous. 66 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: She is she's in a marriage with a verbally, verbally 67 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: abusive husband, and she's asking asking me, how do you 68 00:03:54,320 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: remain a woman of God and love and honor your husband? 69 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: And it's it's tough because because you've got to understand 70 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: that what you're asking me, how do I love and 71 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: honor as a godly woman? That's what you're asking, and 72 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: to appropriately answer it, we have to understand that it 73 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,359 Speaker 1: takes two and the husband is required and supposed to, 74 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: as a godly husband, love and honor you back, and 75 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: that's not what you're getting. So that's why there's a problem. Right, 76 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: I mean, if we could all agree, no matter no 77 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: matter what reference you're reading here, no matter what, no 78 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 1: matter what your worldview is, we could all agree that 79 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: if you love and honor your spouse and they love 80 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: and honor you back, you're gonna have a really good marriage. 81 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,840 Speaker 1: You're not. It's not gonna be perfect because we're humans. 82 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: You're gonna have your ups and downs, You're gonna have 83 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: rocky moments. But if, above all else in your life, 84 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 1: you love and honor your spouse and they love and 85 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: honor you back, you're kind of have a really solid, 86 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: fundamentally right marriage, right asking I'm asking you, right, that's 87 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: what I think. And so so here we are. You're 88 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: you're in a verbally abusive relationship, which is tough because 89 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: because abuse is abuse, you don't have to make it 90 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: seem like you have it less severe because you're not 91 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 1: physically abused. And sometimes the verbally abusive husbands could lead 92 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: into physically abused so that but that's a different thing. 93 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 1: But but this isn't any less of a problem for 94 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: you than it would be someone saying they're they're only 95 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: physically abused and not verbally abused. It's all bad, it's 96 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: all terrible, and and my heart goes out to you, Anonymous. 97 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: And so you're asking, how do how do do Your 98 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: last sentence says this, how do we teach others how 99 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: to treat us? Hmm, I don't know. I don't know 100 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: if that's right to ask, how do we teach others 101 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: how to treat us? Because we can't control others at all. 102 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: We can only control what we do and how we 103 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: respond to others. That's what you have right now, Anonymous. 104 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: That's that's what you can control, is how you're responding 105 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: and how you're acting towards your spouse. And you do 106 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: that as hard as it might seem by loving him 107 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: and honoring him. And that is a controversial idea because 108 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: you might think that instead of loving and honoring, you 109 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: should defend an attack, right, because that's what you're getting. 110 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: So you need to put your guard up in be 111 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: defensive and attack back. But I promise you that will 112 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: that will make it worse. There's no situation when when 113 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: that would ever make it better. It's like it's like 114 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: you're not going to conquer him or win him over 115 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: with your anger and your defense is up. All that 116 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: being said, that doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that 117 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: you you might be on a path. You might be 118 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: on a path where this marriage is not going to work. 119 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: And you know, any anybody that's listened to this podcast 120 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: enough knows that if there's abuse in the in a relationship, 121 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 1: that is grounds for divorce because you can't be abused. 122 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: It's first of all, it's illegal. Right, It's like you 123 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: you could press charges for that and you would win. 124 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: And that that just because it's and that's that, that's 125 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: this is your marriage. And so I don't I don't 126 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: want to advocate that you need a state no matter what. 127 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: All I'm saying is we're gonna this is a waiting game. 128 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: You're gonna wait this out with him, and you're gonna 129 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: love and honor him through the pain that you're getting. 130 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: And if that doesn't work, if if this doesn't, if 131 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: he doesn't have a change of heart, and man, this guy, 132 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: if he doesn't see his wife or who she is 133 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: as she's loving him and honoring him, if he still 134 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: wants to throw the heat at that, then he's a 135 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: terrible person and this marriage is gonna be over. And 136 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: I don't think there's much more to it. Anonymous, I'm 137 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: not gonna tell you to I'm not gonna tell you 138 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: a tactic on arguing or fighting, but you might wanna, 139 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: might wanna have a good lawyer. I'm so sorry. I'm 140 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 1: so sorry. And that's a sorry to everyone that that's 141 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: the first question. Moving on here, there's a question that 142 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: says from Shannon from Michigan says, does having this new 143 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: radio show job mean you will no longer be touring 144 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: or doing music? Yeah? What Shannon is talking about is 145 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: I just got a new job. It's really really cool, 146 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: and we announced it recently last week that I'm going 147 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 1: to be hosting a country music radio show. Called After Midnight. 148 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 1: It runs on a lot of stations all across the 149 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:40,959 Speaker 1: country with a lot of listeners, and it's everything from 150 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: little mom and pop stations to big metropolitan city stations, 151 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 1: but it's a lot of them and they pick it 152 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: up and it runs from midnight to six am, So 153 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: it's a very vulnerable time for people to be listening 154 00:09:55,679 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: to the radio. And I love that. I love the 155 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: the challenge of that, I love the taking on the responsibility, 156 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,959 Speaker 1: the weight of what it means to host a radio 157 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: show for people in the middle of the night. I'm 158 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 1: talking people that are working the late night shift, that 159 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: are just leaving the bars, that are getting up early 160 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: to go to work and commute. They're getting up to 161 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: work out and go jogging. They're stocking the shelves at 162 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: the grocery store, they are over the road trucking. Their 163 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 1: mom is get enough to nurse their babies. There's all 164 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 1: different kinds of demographics, all different kinds of people that 165 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: will be listening. And I'm so excited. And to answer 166 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: your question, Shannon, of course I'm not gonna stop touring. 167 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: No no, no, no no, no. Of course I'm not gonna 168 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 1: stop doing music. And I'm not gonna stop touring. I 169 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: love those things love I love making music, I love 170 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: writing music, and I love performing it. I will be 171 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: doing those three things for the rest of my life 172 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: at some capacity. And I've joked about that in the 173 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: past to say that even if I'm on the on 174 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: the street corner with a guitar case open with you know, 175 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: getting tips and I'm playing songs on the side of 176 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: the of the street, even if it's that to some extent, 177 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 1: I will be still writing, singing and uh and performing, 178 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: recording and performing and and this radio job will be 179 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 1: will be work, and it will be it will take 180 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 1: up a lot of my time. It will we will 181 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: not be live, so I'm not going to be up 182 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: every single night from midnight to six am. I'm going 183 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: to record it as relevant of a time as I 184 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: can to when it's gonna air, but a lot of 185 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: times I'll be on the tour bus or in a 186 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 1: hotel room or here in this podcast room or wherever 187 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 1: I am at the time. Whatever I'm doing, I'm gonna 188 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: have my gear with me and I'm gonna be recording 189 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 1: this and producing the show for you guys, so super excited. 190 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 1: The answer is no, you I don't think, Shannon, I 191 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: don't think you're going to see a change for me 192 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: at all. That's the goal. The goal is that you 193 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 1: don't perceive any different. I'm just the same old Granger. 194 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 1: I'm still doing the Smith, I'm still doing this podcast, 195 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: I'm still out on tour. I'm still putting out songs periodically, 196 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: so hopefully you won't see a difference. Besides that, hopefully 197 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm on your local radio station in the middle of 198 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: the night. Yeah, let's do let's hit one more and 199 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: let's grab a brake. I'm gonna go to you. I'm 200 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: just randomly scrolling here. This one says I don't know what. 201 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: It says, says help, subject line says help, it says 202 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,439 Speaker 1: good morning. I found your podcast recently and I love 203 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: the authenticity of it. It is so real and honest. 204 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 1: Thank you. So my question is I'm in a situation 205 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: with someone that has been going on for about two years. 206 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 1: I met this person, we both had this instant connection. 207 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: We talked whenever we would and could, but things got 208 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: really personal. The issue is she has a boyfriend and 209 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 1: she is so unhappy with it, and she keeps saying 210 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: she's going to leave him. And that she really cares 211 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: for me, but every time it comes up to have 212 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything. I'm 213 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: having the hardest time letting go. What should I do? 214 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: How do I let go before I lose my mind? 215 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,439 Speaker 1: Thank you, Chris, Chris, thanks for the question. Brother. I 216 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: don't know where you are. I don't know where you're 217 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 1: coming from. And if you guys, email include your location 218 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: so I can get an idea of where you're from. 219 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 1: I have an answer for you, and I have an 220 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: answer that I don't think it's the answer you want 221 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: to hear, Chris, but I think I have a pretty 222 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 1: solid answer for you. So you're dating this girl. No, sorry, 223 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: You've been in a relationship a friendship with this girl 224 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: for going on two years. She has a boyfriend. She 225 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: says it's bad, she's unhappy with him. She says she 226 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 1: really cares for you, but every time it comes up 227 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: in a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything, 228 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: and you're having a tough time because obviously you have 229 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: feelings for her too. Here's a deal guys and girls 230 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: can rarely have. I might get some flak for this, 231 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: but guys and girls can rarely have an intimate friendship 232 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: without one of them having feelings for the other. And 233 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: I know, I know, I've said this for years and 234 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: people always want to argue and they say, no, no, no no, 235 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: no no. I have a friend that's a girl and 236 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: we're like best friends. And I'm like, well, did she 237 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: ever have feelings for you? And did you ever have 238 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: feelings for her? Because that's a question that you might 239 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 1: not know the answer to because maybe she never told you. 240 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: But it usually works this way. That's just how we're built, 241 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: and so there's no doubt from your story that this 242 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 1: is the end result. You guys are really close. You 243 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 1: have this situation your friends for two years. You share 244 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: all these intimate secrets. She's venting about her boyfriend that 245 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: she doesn't like to you, and you're a guy, so 246 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: you help her give good advice through that. It makes 247 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: perfect sense, and she loves it. She can get a 248 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: guy's perspective on her problems. And it would be the 249 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: same way if you were in the situation with a 250 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: girlfriend and she could. This friend could give you advice 251 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:24,480 Speaker 1: about your girlfriend. But these things end up happening this way. 252 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: This is we're humans, and this is a story that 253 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: repeats itself generation after generation. It's crazy because everything changes 254 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:38,440 Speaker 1: around us, you know, media changes, lifestyle changes, transportation changes. 255 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: The men and women and our dealings with each other 256 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: are thousands of years old the same, right, So here's 257 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: what you need to do, Chris. You need to go 258 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: to her. You need to sit her down, one on one, 259 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 1: no one else in the room, and you say, I 260 00:15:56,240 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 1: need to talk to you about something. I like you 261 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: more than friends. I really like you. I think there's 262 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: a chemistry between us. I think there's a connection between us, 263 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: and I would love to take this to the next level. 264 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: I understand by saying this, this could put our friendship 265 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: in serious jeopardy. I understand that. But the possibility of 266 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: us actually being more than friends is worth more to 267 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: me than salvaging a friendship when I know it's going 268 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: to break my heart in the end. Right, and then 269 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: you got to tell her this, And this is the 270 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: part you're not gonna like. This is the part where 271 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: it gets difficult. You got to tell her right then, 272 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: But before you answer, and before this goes any further, 273 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: if you have feelings for me too, then we need 274 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: I need to back away and we need to stop 275 00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 1: talking for a period of time for you to cut 276 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: it off with this boyfriend. And in doing that and 277 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: cutting it off with this guy completely, that will let 278 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: me know I have the green light to then take 279 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:16,119 Speaker 1: you on a real date. And this is gonna be 280 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: tough because she puts her in a tough situation because 281 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: she has security in this old boyfriend, regardless of if 282 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: he's good or not. She has security in staying with 283 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,199 Speaker 1: this guy, and you're the wild card. Like she doesn't know, 284 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: she doesn't know where this is gonna go. So why 285 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: is she gonna waste this effort and time she's put 286 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: into this boyfriend and go with this wild card. And 287 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: that's where it's up the chance, that's where we don't know. 288 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 1: But you got to do it. You have to do 289 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,880 Speaker 1: it like I said it, or that it just drags 290 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: out and she never breaks up with him, or or 291 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 1: even worse, they get in a fight and they split 292 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: up on their own and then she rebounds to you, 293 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,679 Speaker 1: and then you're not really sure if you're just a 294 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 1: reba and you're just a soft landing spot for her 295 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: because she had trouble with this guy and she knew you, 296 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: so it was an easy thing. So you'll never know 297 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: if it was really her saying yes to you above 298 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: this other guy. It's tough, but that's what she gotta do, 299 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 1: and the answer is gonna be tough. Guys. I was 300 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: in a similar situation with Amber when I met her. 301 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: We met and had this We had this great chemistry 302 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: on a music video set, and I really liked her 303 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: and I thought she might like me, but I wasn't sure. 304 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 1: I just got the vibe that she might. But I 305 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: knew she had a boyfriend and they were getting serious, 306 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 1: and she came to me. This is a little bit 307 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: different situation, but I'll just tell the story. She came 308 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 1: to me about a week later after the video and 309 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: she texted me and she said, I need to know 310 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: if it's just me or was there's something more to 311 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: us when we were together. So I as hard as 312 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: it was for me, I said, yes, I felt it too. 313 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 1: But before we do anything else, before we take another step, 314 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaker 1: before we have another conversation or even a cup of coffee, 315 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to break up with your boyfriend. And 316 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 1: when you do it, call me and we'll see what happens. 317 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 1: And as hard as it was to restrain myself because 318 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: I wanted to just say, yeah, yeah, let's go. I 319 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,640 Speaker 1: had to do it that way, and I'm so, I mean, 320 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,159 Speaker 1: now she's my wife. It worked, It really worked. And 321 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: it wasn't a trick or a game. It was it's 322 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 1: serious and and so she did she you know, it 323 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: took her. It took her. You know, I had to 324 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 1: give her her time to break up with them in 325 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: the appropriate way because he was far as I know, 326 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: he was a good dude. He do nothing wrong with 327 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,639 Speaker 1: this guy. So she didn't have an excuse like they 328 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: weren't like fighting or something. So she did it. She 329 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 1: broke up with them. It was like a week after 330 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: I said that, and then she said, okay, I broke 331 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: up with him. And I said, okay, next time I'm 332 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: in your area, which I was in college station. She 333 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,880 Speaker 1: was up in Dallas. Next time I'm in Dallas, I'll 334 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: i'll call you and let's go get some coffee. Which 335 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 1: is another hard thing because I knew. I knew at 336 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: that moment too. I couldn't just say, you broke up 337 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 1: with them, Great, jump in my car and just you know, 338 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: fly to Dallas that next day and then we're going 339 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: to see a movie. That would be weird too, like 340 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,080 Speaker 1: she's fresh out of this relationship, like maybe she needed 341 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: a little bit of space to decompress from that and 342 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: to really let the dust settle and see if this 343 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: this feeling thing she had for me was real or 344 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 1: not anyway, Like maybe maybe she wasn't totally into the 345 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: boyfriend and that's what made me seem better, but I wasn't. 346 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't the one for her. I just seemed better 347 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: than the one, the current one, and then that would 348 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 1: make me just a bad answer to a to a 349 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 1: bland relationship. So I didn't want that. So literally, like 350 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: a month went by after this, after she broke up 351 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,919 Speaker 1: with them, Like a month went by, and I had 352 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,439 Speaker 1: a little acoustic show in Dallas, and I texted her 353 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 1: and I said, Hey, I'm in walksa hatchie. I could 354 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: be in Dallas in twenty minutes tonight after my show. 355 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,199 Speaker 1: If you want to do something, go grab some coffee, 356 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 1: And she said yes, she said yes, So we went 357 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: to Starbucks and we met at a Starbucks. I don't 358 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: know Amber could correct me. It was like nine o'clock, 359 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 1: nine thirty ten, something like that, And we stayed there 360 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: and talked until they had to kick us out because 361 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 1: they were closing the Starbucks. And then I got in 362 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: my truck and I went back three hours to college station. Chris, 363 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,959 Speaker 1: you got some hard business ahead of you, but I 364 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: got faith in you, and I got faith in this plan. 365 00:21:55,240 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 1: We take a break, be right back. Podcast has brought 366 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: to you guys today by a movement that's mv MT. 367 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 1: It's almost the holidays and Movement the original watch brand 368 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: to break all the rules. Started by two college dropouts 369 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 1: who didn't want to overpay for a nice watch. They 370 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 1: have you covered. They're bringing you the sleekest, most quality 371 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: gifts of the holiday season with hundreds of watches, blue 372 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 1: light glasses, sunnies, and fine jewelry styles to choose from. 373 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 1: Stuff your stockings, impress your family, while your partners, or 374 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: treat yourself because we know that you're getting all dressed 375 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 1: up with the perfect gift from Movement. Movement is making 376 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 1: it easy beautiful curated gift boxes, his and her gift guides, 377 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: and free quick shipping right to your door just in 378 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,680 Speaker 1: time for the holidays. I love Movement. They started sending 379 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 1: me stuff for this podcast, and they said, what do 380 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 1: you want? They gave me the list of the watches, 381 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I like to wear watches, 382 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,120 Speaker 1: So what I like is the field watches, Like I'm 383 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 1: a sucker for good field watches that are like the 384 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 1: old Vietnam style that's when they were created. And then 385 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: they're perfect for hunting and fishing because they just stand 386 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,239 Speaker 1: the test of time. They're timeless in their look and 387 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 1: the quality. Movement is great at this They have tons 388 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,600 Speaker 1: of styles, tons of colors, and I haven't even gotten 389 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,439 Speaker 1: into like the blue light glasses, which I probably should 390 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,399 Speaker 1: being on screens all the time. But if I was 391 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 1: gonna do it, this is the company I need to 392 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: do it with. So Movement watches are designed in house. 393 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: They're super sleek, clean and won't break your bank. Since 394 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: they started just ninety five bucks, Movement has clean, minimal 395 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: designs and quality products. Movement has sold almost two million 396 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: watches in over one hundred and sixty countries. Be the 397 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,120 Speaker 1: big winner this holiday season with a gift from Movement. 398 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 1: Go to Movement dot com slash granger that's MVMT dot 399 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 1: com slash granger. Join the movement. If you have a 400 00:23:56,119 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 401 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 1: We will walk through it could be any subject, could 402 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 1: be about anything, and we've seen them all. We've seen 403 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: every kind of subject on here, next question on here. 404 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:13,120 Speaker 1: The subject line says, I need some financial help. Hey gring, 405 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: your My name is Luke. I'm twenty two years old 406 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: from a small town called Meridian, Oklahoma. I bought my 407 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: first house at nineteen and my girlfriend that had just 408 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 1: graduated high school moved in with me and we've been 409 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,120 Speaker 1: here for three years and things are great. But there 410 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: is a twenty acre farm that just came up for 411 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: sale right next to me, and I've always wanted this property, 412 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: but it's two hundred and eighty thousand dollars. I got 413 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,199 Speaker 1: approved for the loan, but I'm a maintenance man and 414 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,480 Speaker 1: I don't make a fortune, so times will be tough 415 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 1: on us if we go through with it. Note that 416 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,439 Speaker 1: my girlfriend is currently in college and it's going to 417 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 1: be graduating soon, so that will help when she gets 418 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:56,880 Speaker 1: a good job. What's your opinion on what we should do? Luke? 419 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 1: Thanks for emailing Buddy twenty two, two hundred and eighty 420 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 1: thousand dollars. I know that sounds like a lot, but 421 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 1: there's a lot of people listening right now that are 422 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 1: going man, including me. Man, I wish there was a 423 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: twenty acre farm for only two hundred and eighty thousand 424 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:27,399 Speaker 1: dollars around me because prices are skyrocketing now. And I know, 425 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 1: like I said, I know, that's a lot of money. Uh, 426 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:36,439 Speaker 1: but still, that's twenty acre farm is very valuable and 427 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:41,800 Speaker 1: really important and a big deal. So let's dive into this. 428 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: I know that people that have listened to this podcast 429 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: and listen to me a lot probably know where I'm 430 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 1: gonna lead with this. But Luke, you're twenty two. You 431 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: got your first house. Congratulations, dude, you bought a house 432 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 1: at nineteen. That's awesome. You're way ahead of the game. 433 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: You're way ahead of anywhere I was. But you have 434 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:07,360 Speaker 1: a problem. You got a girlfriend you're playing house with 435 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: that moved in. She's been with you for three years. 436 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: I know you say things are going great, and she's 437 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 1: probably great. Has really nothing to do with her at all, 438 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: But the fact is we have to start thinking about 439 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: marriage here. Like, you can't be thinking about a twenty 440 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 1: acre farm unless unless you've got things locked down with 441 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: this wedding, because you got to think about an engagement ring. 442 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,159 Speaker 1: You got to get a nice one that's gonna make 443 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: her proud, responsible, but proud and worthy of her beautiful hand. Right, 444 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:46,679 Speaker 1: you got a wedding to plan. It's gonna cost money 445 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: to put on this wedding, and hopefully it's a decently 446 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 1: small you know, friends and close family, family and close friends. 447 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 1: But and then then you're gonna think about babies down 448 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 1: the road. So rather, there are things that are coming 449 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: up in your future that you have. You have reversed 450 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: a little bit. You got things. The puzzle is a 451 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,119 Speaker 1: little bit out of order here. So thinking about a 452 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: twenty acre farm, even buying a house is great, and 453 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: these are wonderful things, but out of order, they start 454 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:26,160 Speaker 1: getting messed up. So your girl, like I said, maybe 455 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: she's great, she's probably great. What if she breaks up 456 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: with you after you take on the note of this 457 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 1: farm and and then you're not you're not and unable 458 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,239 Speaker 1: to pay it on your on your own salary. Like 459 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 1: now we have problems. What happens if the wedding that 460 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 1: she wants goes way out of proportion and that costs 461 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 1: too much. Now now we're dealing with this, or her 462 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:56,200 Speaker 1: college debt is more than we thought that that's why 463 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 1: things have to stay in a certain order. Now you're 464 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 1: right and being excited about this farm. Now I'm gonna 465 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 1: read your words here. They said it came up for 466 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 1: sale right next to me, if you mean next door 467 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 1: to you, which that sounds like that's what you mean. Yeah, 468 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: Like if it's down the road, okay, I understand, that's 469 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 1: a little different. But if it's touching your fence line, then, 470 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,679 Speaker 1: like the rule in real estate and farm real estate is, 471 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: if it touches your fence line, you buy it at 472 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 1: all cost. You get a second job, You become a 473 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: newspaper delivery man, could be anything. Go sell vacuum cleaner's 474 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,439 Speaker 1: door to door, you do anything. You can, work the 475 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,719 Speaker 1: night shift to get this loan, which you're approved of, 476 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: to pay off this loan, to get the property that 477 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: touches yours, because this opportunity might never happen again. This land, 478 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 1: if it's touching yours, it might never happen again. These people, 479 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: the next people that buy it, could die on this 480 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 1: property eighty years from now, and none of the other 481 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: properties around you could sell. It's a possibility. But if 482 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: you can get it, which you've got this loan, then 483 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: you're approved. You take it, You pay for it. You 484 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 1: cut a gate right there in your fence line, and 485 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 1: you make a road right into the new twenty acres. 486 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 1: And I know it sounds like a lot, but if 487 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: you don't do it now, then five years down the road, 488 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 1: that two hundred and eighty thousand is going to be 489 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: a half a million dollar twenty acre farm. I promise you. 490 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: I know it's happened. It's going to happen in Oklahoma, 491 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: it's happening in Texas, and a lot of people listening 492 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 1: are saying it's happening here. It's happening here. So we're 493 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: talking ten years down the road, this farm is going 494 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 1: to be four five, six, seven, eight hundred thousand dollars. 495 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 1: It just is. It's real estate is not going down, 496 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: so you're right to think that you need to acquire 497 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: it at all costs. But I think you got things 498 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: mixed up with the girlfriend, Like at three years, three 499 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: years is enough time to know if she's your wife. 500 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 1: There's no use playing around anymore. I mean you need 501 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,479 Speaker 1: to use your brain and figure out is am I 502 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 1: compatible with this person as a spouse? Does she have 503 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: all that it takes to be my lifetime companion? And 504 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,040 Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty sure about this that you could 505 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 1: know that in less than three years. I'm pretty sure 506 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 1: you could know that in a decent amount of time 507 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 1: that doesn't take a second more than you're already involved 508 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: with this one. So either this is it, put a 509 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 1: ring on it, go get you one, have a responsible wedding, 510 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: decent sized priced ring that you could afford, start making 511 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 1: plans for babies, and then if this property is still around, 512 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 1: get it. Otherwise, I think I think the puzzles a 513 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,320 Speaker 1: little bit out of place, brother, But thank you for emailing. 514 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 1: Next question, this comes from ill see this says. It 515 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 1: doesn't say who it's from, but it says subjectline work. 516 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: Hey Grandeur, I'm gonna keep the short simple. I've always 517 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: been drawn to the outdoors. I love hunting, fishing, etc. 518 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: I would very much like some advice on how to 519 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:20,480 Speaker 1: start a career on doing those sorts of things, doing 520 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: what I love. PS. I love the channel and I 521 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: wish you all the way. Till earl, I said, Hi, 522 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: thank you, thanks for watching, thanks for listening, Thanks for 523 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 1: the kind words. Yeah, I think we have I'm right 524 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: there with you. I echo these thoughts. I love hunting, fishing, outdoors, 525 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,680 Speaker 1: et cetera. And so I think we have a couple 526 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: options to walk through. First option, you get a regular 527 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,239 Speaker 1: job that pays decent money. You work your way up 528 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 1: maybe maybe whatever you have now the job you have. Now, 529 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 1: you start working your way up the ladder. You're making 530 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 1: some decent money. And then you do that five days 531 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: a week, and on the weekend and half a Friday, 532 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 1: you're going out and you're fishing, you're hunting, you're going 533 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,560 Speaker 1: all out in the outdoors. And you could you can 534 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: get a lease, dear lease. You can get like six 535 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 1: seven of your buddies and all go in together and 536 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,080 Speaker 1: get this lease lease land. That's what we do in Texas. 537 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: But the lease land for hunting or fishing. And so 538 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 1: you can find like the perfect property. It's got the 539 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 1: got the pond on it, got bass. You stock it 540 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: with bass and calffish, put your minos in every season, 541 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:31,920 Speaker 1: make sure the algae is taken care of, and make 542 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 1: sure hopefully there's some ducks on the pond. Then you 543 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 1: get your deer buying set up. You're putting your protein 544 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 1: feed out, you're getting your food plots ready. You could 545 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 1: do all that half a Friday and Saturday and Sunday 546 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: all year long, and you're making enough money through your 547 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,959 Speaker 1: regular job where you know you might not love it, 548 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: but but it's work and you're doing you're using your 549 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,480 Speaker 1: hands and you're getting you're making money and you get 550 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: to put it into what you love. That's a good life. 551 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,080 Speaker 1: And a lot of people choose that option to you 552 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,760 Speaker 1: would be And by the way, by the way, I'm 553 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: kind of doing, I kind of do option A. Like 554 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 1: I love music, but I really like to hunt and fish, 555 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: and so you know, music helps fund that. Really. Option two, 556 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:20,840 Speaker 1: here's option two. You go to a hunting outfitter, a 557 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 1: fishing guide outfit company. There's a lot of them, you know, 558 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 1: in the sporting areas of the world, and you say, look, 559 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 1: I love hunting, I love fishing. I know everything about it. 560 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: I want to come into the ground floor. You could 561 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 1: do this as a sporting goods store. Go to the 562 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 1: sporting goods store and go man. I could sell these 563 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 1: rodden reels. I could put them together. I could show 564 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,719 Speaker 1: people all the different combinations and the different levels that 565 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 1: you want to spend according to your your talent level. 566 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: I'm really good at setting up archery. I could help 567 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 1: people and you can get a job at sporting goods, 568 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 1: you know, and work your way up that ladder. And 569 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,280 Speaker 1: if you really want to get dirty, which is I 570 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 1: think this is more what you mean, then you go 571 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 1: to the outfitters and you say, look, I want to 572 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,200 Speaker 1: work for you, whatever it takes. I want to come 573 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,080 Speaker 1: in and take out the trash at the offices. I 574 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: want to fill your truck with gas. I want to 575 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,959 Speaker 1: clean your rifles, whatever it takes. I want to work 576 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: for you guys. And they might say, hey, we we 577 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: can't afford you. And at that point you got to 578 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 1: go I'll entern. I want to prove to you that 579 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:32,840 Speaker 1: I love to do this, and then I'm good at it, 580 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,560 Speaker 1: and then I could be an asset to you and 581 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 1: your outfit And then when you come in, if you 582 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: get to come in at a ground level like that, 583 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 1: and if they say no, you go to another one. 584 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 1: But when you get to finally get a yes to 585 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,080 Speaker 1: this and you get to come in, then you want 586 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 1: to become someone that's indispensable, someone that they can't They 587 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,200 Speaker 1: used to think they couldn't afford to hire you. Now 588 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 1: they think they can't afford to fire you because you're 589 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,760 Speaker 1: too good at everything. And you do the little things 590 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,960 Speaker 1: right about, Like be the guy that goes to your 591 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 1: boss and goes, hey, I could cut your grass on 592 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,839 Speaker 1: the weekends at your house. I could do I could 593 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: take your laundry to the dry cleaning. I could fill 594 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,920 Speaker 1: your truck with fuel. Hey, let me clean those rifles 595 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,719 Speaker 1: for you. I'll bring on to my house. Don't even 596 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,600 Speaker 1: worry about it. I'll take care of it. And then 597 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,879 Speaker 1: when it comes time for a budget cut and they're 598 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 1: looking who to hire and fire or promote, they're like, man, 599 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,720 Speaker 1: don't touch this guy. Why because he does my grass 600 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: and does my laundry and fills up my fuel and 601 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,200 Speaker 1: cleans my rifles. Don't get rid of that guy. He 602 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:37,200 Speaker 1: is perfect for me. He's indispensable to this organization. So 603 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 1: be that guy. Work your way up that way. So 604 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 1: those are your options. And I'd say that I say 605 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: that kind of advice for people that are wanting to 606 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,879 Speaker 1: get into the music business, people wanting to get into 607 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:54,000 Speaker 1: law enforcement, people that want to get that so badly, 608 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:58,440 Speaker 1: are passionate about getting into any one career field. I say, man, 609 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,919 Speaker 1: going from the ground floor, go in there, be indispensable, 610 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,279 Speaker 1: take out the trash. Be the guy that delivers groceries, 611 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: bring breakfast in on Monday morning, bring the donuts. Make 612 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,279 Speaker 1: sure the coffee's hot all the time. Learn to make 613 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,400 Speaker 1: the coffee exactly like your boss likes it, and make 614 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,000 Speaker 1: it always hot and always ready, and that cup is 615 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 1: always clean. Be that guy in any of these fields 616 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 1: and you'll succeed. Next question says subject line girl Help 617 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 1: and Faith says Hey, mister Smith, my name is Xander. 618 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm seventeen years old from Illinois. I just recently started 619 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. I love listening to it in 620 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,480 Speaker 1: your music. I have two different questions for you. First one, 621 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 1: I recently met this girl that I want to have 622 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,719 Speaker 1: a conversation with, but I'm not gonna lie. I'm not 623 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,360 Speaker 1: good at talking at women. I can never keep a 624 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,839 Speaker 1: conversation going with them. I was wondering if you had 625 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 1: any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. Second 626 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 1: question is this. I was younger, my family always went 627 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,040 Speaker 1: to our Catholic church and I read the Bible. Then 628 00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,239 Speaker 1: out of nowhere, we just stopped all that. I've been 629 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 1: struggling recently with many things that I'm unsure of. I 630 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 1: believe the Lord could help point me in the right direction, 631 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,200 Speaker 1: and I just want to reconnect with him. I don't 632 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: know what the best way to do this is. I 633 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,440 Speaker 1: appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you and 634 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: sorry for the long questions, Xander, Thank you, Xander shout 635 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,640 Speaker 1: out to Illinois. I appreciate you. Email and brother. Yeah, 636 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,960 Speaker 1: let's dive into each of these questions. Question one, you 637 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 1: got your girl? Question? Listen, bro, I was once you. 638 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: I was once seventeen, not good at starting conversations or 639 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:49,000 Speaker 1: talking to women, in fact, terrified of it. And I 640 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:55,560 Speaker 1: would stumble and mutter and mess up words and shake visibly, 641 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 1: and I would get it all planned out, like man, 642 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: I have everything I want to say, and I would 643 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,880 Speaker 1: rehearse it and it would sound so good, and then 644 00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 1: I would start approaching a girl in the hallway and 645 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,799 Speaker 1: I would start shaking, and then I would close up 646 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,240 Speaker 1: and then would get tense and my eyes would start watering, 647 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,759 Speaker 1: and that's like a mess. And then I get and 648 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: then it made it worse when I started thinking that 649 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,400 Speaker 1: maybe she could see my hands on my sides are shaking, 650 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,239 Speaker 1: and then she's gonna think I'm just complete idiot and 651 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 1: just a mumbling moron. And then she's gonna think worse 652 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,759 Speaker 1: of me than I was in the beginning, and I 653 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: already wasn't great. So I think a lot of guys 654 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 1: are like this, Sander. A lot of seventeen year olds 655 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: are like this, and the ones that aren't, the pretenders 656 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 1: that aren't, are probably gonna peak in high school, and 657 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:47,799 Speaker 1: that's the most successful they'll ever be in life is 658 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: in high school because they could talk. But the only 659 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,239 Speaker 1: downhill from here for them. I promise you, buddy, you're 660 00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,439 Speaker 1: in the right place. You're nervous, and I just think 661 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:02,280 Speaker 1: that that's very normal. I remember being seventeen and feeling 662 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,720 Speaker 1: like I had horse blinders on, like I couldn't see 663 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,759 Speaker 1: anything that was going on more than five ft in 664 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,960 Speaker 1: front of me, and nothing in my periphials at all. 665 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 1: That's the way our brains are. And then there's girls 666 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,279 Speaker 1: that are just so smart and witty and ahead of 667 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:21,759 Speaker 1: the game and mature, and I mean they still are 668 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:26,040 Speaker 1: right like, they're always proportionately just more savvy than we are. 669 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 1: And that's part of the struggle that we have, is 670 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,879 Speaker 1: that we're just always a little bit behind. That's why 671 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 1: you see guys will typically date girls that are younger 672 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:39,920 Speaker 1: than than them because they're trying to accommodate their brain capacity. 673 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,680 Speaker 1: Like that's the truth. Like a seventeen year old guy 674 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,360 Speaker 1: would probably date a fifteen year old because she's the 675 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,840 Speaker 1: same level as him, And no way we talked to 676 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 1: an eighteen year old, Like, no way, she's way ahead 677 00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:56,879 Speaker 1: of him. Here's my suggestion to you in this, walk 678 00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:01,279 Speaker 1: up to this girl that you like, and be vulnerable, 679 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:06,759 Speaker 1: be honest, shakes and quivers and all. And this is 680 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,239 Speaker 1: advice that I wouldn't have been very good at. And 681 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 1: this is harder to do than it is for me 682 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: to tell you. But I would walk up and I 683 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 1: would say, I'm Xander. I know that you don't know me, 684 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 1: but I think you're so beautiful. And I'm really nervous 685 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 1: right now because I'm nervous to talk to pretty girls 686 00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,200 Speaker 1: and I'm shaking, and I just was wondering if maybe 687 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 1: one of these days we can go on a date 688 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,080 Speaker 1: or something. And hey, girls, correct me if I'm wrong. 689 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,960 Speaker 1: But if a guy is vulnerable like that and just honest, 690 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,239 Speaker 1: and you could see him shaking and his lip is 691 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 1: quivering because he's literally intimidated because you're so beautiful, I 692 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 1: think that says something right, like that means something and 693 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,440 Speaker 1: it matters, you know. In the movie Back to the Future, 694 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,719 Speaker 1: I love that movie, and George McFly goes into the 695 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,480 Speaker 1: cafe and he sees sitting in the booth and he 696 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,360 Speaker 1: walks up to her and he says, Lorraine, I'm George McFly. 697 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,600 Speaker 1: You are my density. And she's like what, and he says, 698 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:14,120 Speaker 1: I mean you are my destiny and he messes up 699 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,759 Speaker 1: the words. But that's it's beautiful that way, and she 700 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 1: loves it. And I just think being vulnerable matters, and 701 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 1: that should be your your approach in this second question, 702 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,359 Speaker 1: different topic, but I think I could might, I might 703 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 1: be able to relate them a little bit the same 704 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,000 Speaker 1: you're you're you went to Catholic church, you read the Bible, 705 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 1: and then that stopped, and you want to reconnect with God. 706 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:41,239 Speaker 1: My my opinion on this, my advice would be, there 707 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,000 Speaker 1: is a Christian organization at your school. For me, there 708 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 1: was one called Young Life, and I would go to this, 709 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 1: I would get I would get involved with Young Life 710 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:56,520 Speaker 1: right and go in there with with a with an 711 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,239 Speaker 1: open mind that you're gonna go and have pizza and 712 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,799 Speaker 1: have good fellowship with people, and most importantly you're gonna 713 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,840 Speaker 1: meet friends that have the same vision as you. And 714 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,320 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be don't think of it as Catholic. 715 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:14,680 Speaker 1: Think of it as a Christian organization. And through this 716 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,040 Speaker 1: and through the pizza Knights and the game nights and 717 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,960 Speaker 1: the activities that you'll get to hang out with these people, 718 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 1: that kind of fellowship, I mean, that's the church, and 719 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,440 Speaker 1: that will draw you closer to God through the group, 720 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 1: and crazy stuff can happen in that. You know, God 721 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,640 Speaker 1: works in those kind of environments with seventeen year old kids. 722 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:36,480 Speaker 1: He does. And to relate it back to the girl, 723 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 1: this could be a really good thing for you to 724 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,120 Speaker 1: go to this girl and you're nervous and you're shaken, 725 00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:47,440 Speaker 1: and you say, I'm Xander and you're beautiful, and I'm nervous. 726 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,640 Speaker 1: But I was wondering if you wanted to go to 727 00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,399 Speaker 1: the Young Life Pizza night with me. It's Thursday night, 728 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,040 Speaker 1: and I think that's a really good end. And you're vulnerable, 729 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,800 Speaker 1: and then then you get to fellowship with like minded 730 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,480 Speaker 1: people and God works in those environments and I think 731 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 1: you would you would feel, you would feel God's presence 732 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 1: and you would see the fruits of that. Let me 733 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,000 Speaker 1: know how this goes? Okay, I appreciate the question. Brother. 734 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:25,200 Speaker 1: This next one, it says, Hey Granger, first of all. 735 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,640 Speaker 1: First of all, I love what you've done with the podcast. 736 00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,080 Speaker 1: Is truly an inspiration to me. I genuinely look forward 737 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,840 Speaker 1: to new episodes. I've been a fan of your music forever, 738 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,760 Speaker 1: and I'm so happy to see you talking all things God, 739 00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:41,280 Speaker 1: America and hard work on your podcast. I like that God, 740 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,600 Speaker 1: America and hard work. I'll take that lay, I'll brand 741 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,120 Speaker 1: it that way. That's perfect. She says. I'd like to 742 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 1: stay anonymous, please. I'm an eighteen year old girl from 743 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,520 Speaker 1: southern California. I'm headed to Texas for college this fall, 744 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,360 Speaker 1: and to be honest, I'm worried not about leaving home, 745 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:02,120 Speaker 1: but about the things I may experience. Frat boys, beer, 746 00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 1: other things I'm not used to, And honestly, I'm worried 747 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,640 Speaker 1: that I'm going to fall into sin and pleasure or 748 00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,600 Speaker 1: even be taken advantage of by guys. I'm pretty naive 749 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 1: and I often let guys walk all over me. Not intentionally, 750 00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,320 Speaker 1: but I'm just too nice and too submissive. The boys 751 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,080 Speaker 1: I've been with, they've all been dirt bags, and they've 752 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,279 Speaker 1: not treated me well from a man's perspective? How can 753 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,759 Speaker 1: I stay on the right path through my college experience, 754 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,720 Speaker 1: from staying with God to making good choices with boys? 755 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:35,920 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Okay, Anonymous, I'm about to go 756 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:42,960 Speaker 1: after you a little bit. My listeners know you can't 757 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:44,799 Speaker 1: come to me. Look, this is out of love. I'm 758 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,080 Speaker 1: going to give you some tough love here. Don't come 759 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,319 Speaker 1: to me with the question that you've already answered, every 760 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,759 Speaker 1: single question hidden inside your own email. And if you 761 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,839 Speaker 1: want me to repeat it back and then I'll say it. 762 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:03,200 Speaker 1: You say you're worried about falling into sin to pleasure, 763 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,759 Speaker 1: don't You said you don't know about frat boys and 764 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,920 Speaker 1: beer and things you're not used to stay away from it. 765 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: You say you're pretty naive and you let guys walk 766 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:17,080 Speaker 1: alo all over you. Don't let them. You're not intentional, 767 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,839 Speaker 1: but you're just too nice and submissive. Stop being submissive. 768 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,399 Speaker 1: The boys you've been with have all been dirt bags 769 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,400 Speaker 1: and not treated you well. Get away from dirt bags, 770 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:28,319 Speaker 1: stay away from them. You see what I mean? All 771 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,040 Speaker 1: of your answers are hidden inside your own question. In fact, 772 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,160 Speaker 1: here's an exercise for you. Take a pen and paper, 773 00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 1: write and write this down. You're gonna write your email, 774 00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,440 Speaker 1: which you have in your outbox, the one you sent 775 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 1: to me, and I want you to take your email 776 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,799 Speaker 1: and I want you to write the reverse email to yourself, 777 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,480 Speaker 1: and it's going to go something like this. I'm headed 778 00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:53,360 Speaker 1: to Texas for college this fall, and to be honest, 779 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,239 Speaker 1: I'm not worried at all. I love home, but I'm 780 00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,120 Speaker 1: excited about the new things I'm going to experience. I'm 781 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,960 Speaker 1: going to stay away from frat boys and bearing those 782 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:06,960 Speaker 1: other things, and honestly, I have no problem staying away 783 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,279 Speaker 1: from sin and pleasure. I will not be a taken 784 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,640 Speaker 1: advantage of by guys. I'm not naive, and I will 785 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: not let guys walk all over me. I'm a very 786 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:22,040 Speaker 1: intentional person. I am nice, but I'm not submissive. I've 787 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,800 Speaker 1: been around dirtbags in the past. I've learned my lesson. 788 00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,920 Speaker 1: I can now identify them and I will stay away 789 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:33,360 Speaker 1: from them in the future and then keep that as 790 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,360 Speaker 1: a little reference for you to go back to. And 791 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,680 Speaker 1: what I want you to do, Anonymous, is when you 792 00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,280 Speaker 1: move to Texas, hopefully you're going to Texas A and M, 793 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:46,000 Speaker 1: make sure you're immediately getting involved and that starts right 794 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,520 Speaker 1: now in southern California. I want you to go on 795 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:52,239 Speaker 1: their web page and start finding all the organizations that 796 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,399 Speaker 1: you could become a part of before you get there. 797 00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,799 Speaker 1: So you're not gonna go in blind. You're not gonna 798 00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,400 Speaker 1: go pot luck in a dorm room. You're not going 799 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,520 Speaker 1: to walk down the down the campus with your books 800 00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:06,080 Speaker 1: and just randomly look at where you should go. You're 801 00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,440 Speaker 1: gonna have this planned out before you get there. You 802 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,600 Speaker 1: have time still, so you're gonna find the organizations of people, 803 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,480 Speaker 1: girls that you want to be associated with, that can 804 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,359 Speaker 1: keep you accountable and keep you away from all these 805 00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:20,960 Speaker 1: things that you have already identified as possible problems in 806 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,680 Speaker 1: your character. So you're gonna go in, and you're gonna 807 00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:28,000 Speaker 1: go girls. And I don't care if it's a chess club, 808 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:34,120 Speaker 1: or if it's volleyball or softball or innermural anything, or 809 00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,759 Speaker 1: math club or a sorority if you want to pay 810 00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,960 Speaker 1: money for that, I don't care any of this as 811 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,279 Speaker 1: long as it's good girls you could surround yourself with, 812 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:46,799 Speaker 1: and you're forming a community that becomes your armor around you, 813 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,160 Speaker 1: and you're gonna be straight up honest with them and 814 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,120 Speaker 1: you're gonna say, girls, I've had problems in the past 815 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,279 Speaker 1: being around dirt bag guys, and they're gonna go, we 816 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,560 Speaker 1: got your back. And one night you're out at a 817 00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,439 Speaker 1: party and a dirt bag walks up. Everyone can see 818 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,719 Speaker 1: him coming. The girls create a wall around you, and 819 00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:04,680 Speaker 1: you go and they look at him and they go 820 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,600 Speaker 1: out of here. She doesn't hang around guys like you, 821 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,719 Speaker 1: And that way, you're not vulnerable, you're not open, your 822 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,960 Speaker 1: force field is not down, and you're protected by your group, 823 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:19,160 Speaker 1: your core group around you. That matters, that accountability, those 824 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,319 Speaker 1: mama hens matter, and you will be the same for 825 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,200 Speaker 1: them because they're gonna share the same things they got 826 00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,600 Speaker 1: going on and their problems, and you'll be able to 827 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,000 Speaker 1: counteract it because you're gonna overlap like this, like this 828 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,640 Speaker 1: mesh of steel that where the problems that they have 829 00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,239 Speaker 1: are gonna be your strengths and your problems are going 830 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,960 Speaker 1: to be their strengths, and you're going to protect each other. 831 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,320 Speaker 1: But you got to find this ahead of time. You 832 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:46,920 Speaker 1: got to plan this out, do this now, and you 833 00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:49,800 Speaker 1: will love it. You will love college and you won't 834 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,280 Speaker 1: be submissive, and you won't get into the wrong crowds 835 00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:56,560 Speaker 1: you'll mess up, we all do. But when you mess 836 00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,680 Speaker 1: up with this team around you, they help lift you 837 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:03,040 Speaker 1: back up and get you on your feet. You're gonna 838 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:09,080 Speaker 1: do just fine. I love these emails, guys. Thank you 839 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:13,440 Speaker 1: for what you bring to me and the fight that 840 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,080 Speaker 1: you bring out of me. I love it and I 841 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:20,000 Speaker 1: look forward to seeing y'all every single Monday. Thanks for 842 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,120 Speaker 1: joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all 843 00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,280 Speaker 1: of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating 844 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,920 Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to 845 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,239 Speaker 1: this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification 846 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:36,200 Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. 847 00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,160 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would 848 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:43,719 Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 849 00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:44,160 Speaker 1: Gi