Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
Speaker 1: perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You
Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests,
Speaker 1: you're our presences. Presents enough. I already had too much stuff,
Speaker 1: So how did you dare.
Speaker 2: To surbey me?
Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. We
Speaker 3: are in the backyard. I'm in a difficult place. I
Speaker 3: had a hard time with you. Connections this morning, I
Speaker 3: missed one and that threw me off. And that's probably
Speaker 3: because last night I got a parking ticket for the
Speaker 3: first time in at least thirteen years. I was not responsible,
Speaker 3: I never am, and I will of course be fighting it.
Speaker 3: I've already filed a you know I'm not responsible claim
Speaker 3: on the LA City parking website. I didn't have any
Speaker 3: evidence except for, you know, just kind of a plea.
Speaker 3: I was three minutes off. I was in the chicken restaurant.
Speaker 3: They took too long. That's not my problem. I won't
Speaker 3: name the restaurant. I don't want to hurt them. I
Speaker 3: do want to hurt them, but not that badly. And
Speaker 3: I will do everything possible Los Angeles City, I will
Speaker 3: do everything I can to avoid paying these sixty three dollars,
Speaker 3: and if I do end up paying it, I will
Speaker 3: follow whatever city worker is available to fill a pothole
Speaker 3: with those sixty three dollars. So just keep all of
Speaker 3: that in mind. I had to get this out in public, disgusting.
Speaker 3: Oh well, we should get into the show. I think
Speaker 3: today's guest is absolutely wonderful. It's Asia d Asia. Welcome
Speaker 3: to I said no gifts.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. It's so lovely to be here.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry that you're here on such a difficult day
Speaker 3: for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Have you ever gotten a parking ticket?
Speaker 2: I have, and I've never fought them. I didn't know
Speaker 2: you could do that.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I didn't know if you could or not. So,
Speaker 3: I mean immediately even before getting like starting my car,
Speaker 3: I was on my phone googling fighting parking ticket. Read
Speaker 3: at Los Angeles, not paying parking ticket Los Angeles. Most
Speaker 3: people have said just pay it, so I'm not. I'm
Speaker 3: going to fight. I have all the time in the world.
Speaker 2: I'm a petty bitch too, I am so I get it,
Speaker 2: and I'm I'm ready to ride with you.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm just again to the city of la.
Speaker 3: It starts with us, and then well we'll build an
Speaker 3: all and eventually there all be so many people fighting
Speaker 3: for me and using their valuable time and resources that
Speaker 3: I will be able to avoid paying the sixty three dollars. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and if not again, I will make sure those sixty
Speaker 3: three dollars are spent on something valuable for sure.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think you got the parking ticket doing
Speaker 2: something important I think, which is getting chicken. Crucial as
Speaker 2: a big fan of chickens. Chickens, oh my man dead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know when you're getting chicken, you're willing
Speaker 3: to wait as long as possible. Yeah, And that's what
Speaker 3: I kind of had to do. And it did occur
Speaker 3: to me maybe I should run out and check the meter.
Speaker 3: It's been a ridiculous amount of time, but give me
Speaker 3: a break.
Speaker 2: But then, do you see parking offices around because I
Speaker 2: don't see them. So when are they getting out these tickets?
Speaker 3: Especially not it was like six thirty at night, The
Speaker 3: meter closes at eight pm. What's this loser meter person doing?
Speaker 3: Get a life. They were probably on their way home
Speaker 3: or something and they just noticed it. I'm so if
Speaker 3: I had run into them and seen them doing that
Speaker 3: it would have been a confrontation.
Speaker 2: I have caught someone once in the midst of doing it,
Speaker 2: and it was back when auditions happened like in person.
Speaker 2: I think they's just like ten years ago. And it
Speaker 2: was in West Hollywood somewhere, and I was I had
Speaker 2: no money. I don't have that sixty three dollars and
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, she's a black woman out yet. But
Speaker 2: I'm like, please, I've heard the same she didn't. She
Speaker 2: gave me the tig. It's awful, It's okay. It taught
Speaker 2: me a valuable lesson, which is, I don't know the leader.
Speaker 3: People are souldless.
Speaker 2: They are I guess, yeah, I'm careful now, you know,
Speaker 2: but you could.
Speaker 3: I mean, you could be as careful as you want.
Speaker 3: And then you end up at a chicken restaurant and
Speaker 3: it takes an extra three minutes and then the person
Speaker 3: has ruined your night.
Speaker 2: I actually have a friend who works in Melbourne in Australia,
Speaker 2: and she hates the parking lot that is near the
Speaker 2: building that she works out. You have to go up,
Speaker 2: you have to go oh ay the time you get
Speaker 2: to the yeah, absolutely, So she doesn't like it. And
Speaker 2: you had to pay something like sixty bucks a day
Speaker 2: to park there. Crazy. So she was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: the parking fine is eighty? So she parks in the
Speaker 2: same illegal spot every single day?
Speaker 3: How often is she getting a ticket?
Speaker 2: Every day?
Speaker 3: Oh? No? What does this is?
Speaker 2: This woman that she's like a big fancy lawyer. She's
Speaker 2: got to be a billion Yeah, I mean the difference
Speaker 2: between sixty and eighty dollars though, I get it. If
Speaker 2: you just are you're getting your assistant to pay it daily.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's worth a convenience.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What is the exchange rate? What's eighty dollars Australian to US?
Speaker 2: I think I think it's like, oh, I think the
Speaker 2: Australian dollar is not very good at the moment, but.
Speaker 3: It's got to be like probably comparable to eighty dollars US.
Speaker 3: Maybe let me guess sixty five dollars US.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, eighty dollars maybe maybe six between fifty
Speaker 2: and sixty.
Speaker 3: Oh, Australia get it together, I know. I mean, we'll
Speaker 3: actually just say where you are, the US will meet
Speaker 3: you there very soon.
Speaker 2: I'm sure Australia's nice beaches.
Speaker 3: They've got all kinds of things. I've been, you know,
Speaker 3: not related to you coming. But I've been watching this
Speaker 3: show alone Australia.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Have you seen it?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: And there's a very annoying man on it, and there's
Speaker 3: a Christian who gets lost in the woods.
Speaker 2: Is this new?
Speaker 3: It's new. It's on Netflix, so who knows when it
Speaker 3: actually aired? Ok? Yeah, But the things I'm learning about Australia,
Speaker 3: which are probably things that any idiot already knows. For example,
Speaker 3: I just recently learned that Australia doesn't have bears, no,
Speaker 3: which is I mean, you think about it for ten seconds,
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, yeah, it's just a it's a different
Speaker 3: continent and they just never got that update.
Speaker 2: But I guess bears do seem like a universal thing,
Speaker 2: kind of seem like.
Speaker 3: They should be pay to every forest, right Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 3: but no, what is the closest thing Australia has to
Speaker 3: like a scary bear?
Speaker 2: Like a like a big muscly, jacked.
Speaker 3: Up kangaroo that's as close as you come, you know,
Speaker 3: the ones that are like sure, those ones, but they
Speaker 3: don't have jaws or you know, they eat vegetables.
Speaker 2: They are bitchy like I think people because kangaroos are herbivores.
Speaker 2: But they do. They kill for fun.
Speaker 3: Do you know why?
Speaker 2: Actually they do. They don't eat meat, but they.
Speaker 3: They'll just kill an animal just for sport. Yeah. Oh,
Speaker 3: I don't like to hear that about Can we google
Speaker 3: that kangaroos are calling their lawyers right now?
Speaker 2: But I'm almost certain I'm not lying about them.
Speaker 3: These psychopath animals. They're just bouncing around killing things. They're
Speaker 3: not nice, and they're everywhere in Australia, right everywhere, which
Speaker 3: is so strange to think about. Yeah, because even our thing,
Speaker 3: I guess deer are not as rampant.
Speaker 2: But do you remember in the pandemic when the deer
Speaker 2: we're just coming down everywhere.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's the deer in the coyote or the coyotes.
Speaker 3: Maybe coyotes are our kangaroos. Sure, those I'll see almost
Speaker 3: once a week at least, scurrying around. But kangaroos are
Speaker 3: really killing things just because Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wait, just to take it back, I feel like Australia. Yes,
Speaker 2: but like reality shows all over the world, how are
Speaker 2: they finding these men.
Speaker 3: To be on the shows? Yes, well, I will say
Speaker 3: to this one. They also have several lesbians. Oh that's
Speaker 3: not who are killing the game. Well, I think one
Speaker 3: went home at day one. It's like, well, you just
Speaker 3: wanted the free trip to the woods. You didn't want
Speaker 3: to be on this show.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I.
Speaker 3: Think there may be one straight woman. And straight people exist,
Speaker 3: they do it, They exist somewhere. But then there are
Speaker 3: a bunch of men, and where are they coming from?
Speaker 2: I just feel like they go into the garbage can
Speaker 2: and they're like, hello, do you like to be on
Speaker 2: this show? They're awful.
Speaker 3: They go to a screening of The Brutalist and just
Speaker 3: kick out any audience member. I wonder if there's ever
Speaker 3: been a gay man on alone? Where is that representation? Only?
Speaker 3: Could you loosely google gay man alone? How about What's
Speaker 3: Gonna Come? You're not allowed to use any other word
Speaker 3: in the search. But yeah, I've seen a lot. How
Speaker 3: much of the show have you actually seen?
Speaker 2: It's been a while. Okay, honestly, I'm more on Married
Speaker 2: at First Sight?
Speaker 3: Oh at the moment, another brutal thing full of psychos.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the one I've been doing to keep as
Speaker 2: a lesson. You know. Alone, I was like, oh, I'll
Speaker 2: get these.
Speaker 3: Valuable right techniques, get.
Speaker 2: Stuck in the woods, And now I'm watching Married at
Speaker 2: first sight to stop me from dating.
Speaker 3: From meeting people at all. It's working that show I've
Speaker 3: never seen, but they just meet each other and then
Speaker 3: get married.
Speaker 2: Bro, Okay, I'll give you the loan. Now, there's this
Speaker 2: panel of psychiatrists.
Speaker 3: I think they're the best the world has to offer.
Speaker 2: They seem like they have degrees people seem that's the
Speaker 2: impression I get. And they will match make you with
Speaker 2: basically someone that they think you're compatible with, and you
Speaker 2: meet them as you're walking down the aisle, and then
Speaker 2: for many weeks there's commitment ceremonies where you have to
Speaker 2: recommit to each other and then at the end of
Speaker 2: the season you finalize and like make it real.
Speaker 3: So when you first get married, it's not legal.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think it's a kind of like
Speaker 2: a show. Right, But then at the end, some people
Speaker 2: really do.
Speaker 3: They go to the judge or what have you. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I feel like, well, then what's the point of the show.
Speaker 3: With the very first episode, you should be so committed
Speaker 3: that the divorce is a disaster. You go through it
Speaker 3: like you lose everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to like hire right, no prenups.
Speaker 3: Allowed, zero prenups. You each should have two kids, and
Speaker 3: if that becomes a whole complicated thing, that is the
Speaker 3: show I would run. Yeah, this show. This is a
Speaker 3: question I ask about almost every reality show. Has anybody?
Speaker 3: Have any contestants been killed yet? Do we know if
Speaker 3: there's been in any weird murder? Oh? I feel like
Speaker 3: that this one especially. It's like you're getting married pretty
Speaker 3: quickly to someone who don't know. But I guess we
Speaker 3: would have heard about the married at first site murders.
Speaker 2: I'm curious to know if any of them actually stay married.
Speaker 3: I can't imagine.
Speaker 2: I think they put them through. They make them rank
Speaker 2: all of the other people of the opposite sex from
Speaker 2: worse looking to best looking as an intimacy building exercise.
Speaker 3: How is that intimacy built in?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Ask the experts. That's what they called them,
Speaker 2: the psychiatrist.
Speaker 3: I can think of a lot of better intimacy exercises
Speaker 3: than ranking people out scale of one to ten.
Speaker 4: All right, Married at first Site star shares her devastation
Speaker 4: after ex boyfriend is murdered. Oh, following several murder attempts,
Speaker 4: there's I don't know, several murders.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: If you know, if you watched with Jessica Power and
Speaker 4: then Sam the Punisher.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh our hearts go out to say I'm the
Speaker 3: Punisher and Jessica the.
Speaker 2: Reality there's a murder on married at first sec.
Speaker 3: But he wasn't actually on the show, I don't think,
Speaker 3: so this was unrelated. Her life was just kind of imagine, okay,
Speaker 3: pre show difficult or something, and we never learned the
Speaker 3: other thing. What was gay men on a low?
Speaker 2: Two things?
Speaker 4: So my extensive research came up with somebody posting on
Speaker 4: Reddit dubb seems.
Speaker 2: Queer, that's just it.
Speaker 4: And then a bunch of what I assume are straight
Speaker 4: people being upset about people speculating on the.
Speaker 3: Sexual all the others interesting.
Speaker 4: And then as far as kangaroos go, nothing showing that
Speaker 4: they enjoy hunting for sport. But they will lure dogs
Speaker 4: out into the water, That's what I'm talking about. What
Speaker 4: because they think that they think they're dingoes and yes
Speaker 4: that is a predit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh interesting, They.
Speaker 2: Lure them into the water and they this is actually true.
Speaker 2: So they use their tails to like make themselves taller
Speaker 2: in the water, and then the dog will come out
Speaker 2: and be like, oh it looks really shallow, Like I'll.
Speaker 3: Just Oh, that's crafty.
Speaker 2: They kill them with their bottom walk the legs.
Speaker 3: What do they call them? H? What are those the bouncers?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 3: The big flippers? Yeah, the feet. Wow, that's a fact
Speaker 3: that more people should know about kangaroos.
Speaker 2: I think so too.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's dark, that's an evil thing to do.
Speaker 2: I do think that certain animals, especially in Australia, they
Speaker 2: have these weird like mendettas. I always the amount of
Speaker 2: times I've been for some reason in the shower and
Speaker 2: a huge huntsman spider will just be in the spider
Speaker 2: kind of just like looking.
Speaker 3: At me, and I'm like, and are those poisonous?
Speaker 2: No, they're actually I actually love huntsmen.
Speaker 3: Oh so they're just perverts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're obsessed with me. It's so hard to not
Speaker 2: be dating when these huntsmen.
Speaker 3: How big are they?
Speaker 2: They can get pretty big?
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: I remember in school I had one crawl out of
Speaker 2: my school jacket wall and go like this on my face.
Speaker 3: Like an alien face sucker or whatever they're called.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I screamed, you know, when you're intake your air.
Speaker 2: And when I did that, it tried to crawl.
Speaker 3: Now, this is very Sigourney weaver of it and I
Speaker 3: like threw.
Speaker 2: It on the ground and I remember my mom thought
Speaker 2: I was exaggerating and I wasn't. Wow, it was the
Speaker 2: size of my face, that is wild.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I kind of feel bad for these giant spiders that
Speaker 3: have no venom because people are so afraid of them
Speaker 3: and they're kind of just defenseless freaks.
Speaker 2: Well, they actually eat all of the more poisonous spiders,
Speaker 2: so it's actually good if you have them in your home, right,
Speaker 2: it just gets a little weird when they're in the shower.
Speaker 3: Right, they're soaking wet, they're using your soap, your loofer.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, Australia I does have just it's another universe
Speaker 3: animals that in America you're kind of taught about kangaroos, koala, bears,
Speaker 3: and dingoes. I suppose wallabes are, yeah, but then there's
Speaker 3: just a I mean on alone alone I've been I mean,
Speaker 3: the amount of animals I've never heard of, something called
Speaker 3: like a padam palamodi, a platypus. No, not a platypus,
Speaker 3: that's the other one we learn about. But it's like
Speaker 3: a miniature kangaroo, kind of like a wallabe. Oh oh,
Speaker 3: I wonder what it's called. I don't think I know
Speaker 3: it is.
Speaker 2: Where are they?
Speaker 3: This is you know in Tasmania.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, Tasmania is cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Tasmania's got it all. Yeah. The devils, Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: of course, that's another one we learn about. Yeah, well
Speaker 3: you just know because of the cartoon character, for sure.
Speaker 3: But Tasmanian Devils make the most eerie sound. I'm sorry
Speaker 3: to just drag. I'm just talking to you like you're
Speaker 3: an Australian expert. It's just like, look, possibly be more
Speaker 3: boring for an Australian.
Speaker 2: No, I'm happy to educate. I actually I feel very
Speaker 2: strongly about letting people know that kangaroos are crazy. So
Speaker 2: I'm so I feel really fulfilled, like that's a big
Speaker 2: thing that I've been wanting to get out into the world.
Speaker 3: That's the sole reason you came on this podcast.
Speaker 2: Kind of, I was like edging the conversation in that direction.
Speaker 2: When are we going to talk about.
Speaker 3: Kangaroo Ah, there is another Australian thing that we'll touch
Speaker 3: on briefly and then we can talk about other things.
Speaker 3: But Australians seem to be very good at breakfast.
Speaker 2: Yes, so true, Yes, it is why you know what
Speaker 2: I I don't actually know because I was gonna say
Speaker 2: we're not. We don't have a big night life, but
Speaker 2: Australian party in a way that I think is a little.
Speaker 3: Scary, probably dangerous.
Speaker 2: Yeah I can, yeah, no, but we do. We have
Speaker 2: a great breakfast culture, coffee culture.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Anytime I'm in another country, if I google like
Speaker 3: an Australian coffee or breakfast place, that's the place you
Speaker 3: should go to get breakfast. Yeah, because a lot of
Speaker 3: countries are bad at breakfast.
Speaker 2: Well they have you noticed the Australian cafes like popping
Speaker 2: up in.
Speaker 3: All over La everywhere, and they're always you know, just
Speaker 3: drenched with sun, very lightwood. They're almost I mean that's
Speaker 3: one thing that we've got to mix it up with
Speaker 3: the Australian brunch place.
Speaker 2: Advertoast you know, I mean, what's avocado toast has become
Speaker 2: this like sign of wealth. Yes, av a toast is
Speaker 2: something that like my nano makes and my great nana
Speaker 2: still alive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, shout out to her, great Nana, reach out.
Speaker 2: She's a county little bit. I love her. God she's cool.
Speaker 2: But she'll make avocado toast. It has been my whole life.
Speaker 2: So it's really a part of Australian culture. But I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't know if the Australian cafes in
Speaker 2: LA and New York have the same.
Speaker 3: Quite that level of just doesn't hit the same right,
Speaker 3: Yeah makes sense. I mean, you're not in Australia. They
Speaker 3: don't have the access to these ingredients. They're probably better
Speaker 3: in LA than they are in New York. I think
Speaker 3: so because La. I what I assume about Australia is
Speaker 3: that it's big California are Yeah.
Speaker 2: Actually Sydney is very similar to La.
Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, it feels like just a very pleasant place
Speaker 3: to be regardless of where you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's nice. It's pretty good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, except for unless you're alone in Tasmania. Then you're
Speaker 3: starving to death.
Speaker 2: I think Tasmania is kind of a bit of like
Speaker 2: almost like dinosaur country, Like it's very it's kind of
Speaker 2: the most untouched part of Australia because it's just kind
Speaker 2: of that little I get the bottom.
Speaker 3: No here you are criticizing it.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm from the Gold Coast, which is kind of
Speaker 2: up the top, and.
Speaker 3: It just sounds like heaven.
Speaker 2: It does. The last time I was there. I was like,
Speaker 2: I played a game with myself, said, how many ass
Speaker 2: cracks am I going to see out the top of
Speaker 2: board shorts today? And I counted there were six, Wow,
Speaker 2: in one morning. And I love it. No one's wearing shoes,
Speaker 2: no one cares. But like that's where I'm a Tasmania's more.
Speaker 2: There's more grit to it because it's I think, because
Speaker 2: it's further south, there's lots of water around it, and
Speaker 2: it's this tiny little island much cooler. I think.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they've got more, they have more grit, more character. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and these board short wearing losers, I mean I think
Speaker 3: you said it. I do feel like board shorts are
Speaker 3: probably on their way back. We're probably very close to
Speaker 3: their revival. So I just brace yourself. Oh yeah, so
Speaker 3: they go like past the knee, Is that what a
Speaker 3: board short is?
Speaker 2: Yeah? They can. They can also, Oh they can be
Speaker 2: many board shorts.
Speaker 3: Okay, so that's not I'm thinking, you know, past the knee, unflattering,
Speaker 3: kind of just blowing in the wind.
Speaker 2: I mean they can be that, Okay. I think board
Speaker 2: shorts contain multitudes, and they come in many shapes and sizes.
Speaker 3: Cola's very open hearted of you. Thanks. Well, you won't
Speaker 3: see me in a board short, not anytime soon. I
Speaker 3: think the last time I wore a board shirt was
Speaker 3: probably two thousand and four. That feels like about board
Speaker 3: short time, wouldn't you say, Onalise on Lise is nodding yes,
Speaker 3: Well bring them back. Well, I'm telling you it's the cycle. O.
Speaker 3: We're twenty years away. It's probably it's coming. This all
Speaker 3: just happens over and over. We're trapped in the never
Speaker 3: ending cycle of board shorts, and we just have to
Speaker 3: deal with them when they come back around. Oh well,
Speaker 3: I think there's something else we should talk about other
Speaker 3: than Australia. I'm sure you'd be happy to talk about
Speaker 3: something other than Australia, something I'm not happy to talk about.
Speaker 3: I was happy to have you here today. I was
Speaker 3: very excited to see you, and I mean, you know,
Speaker 3: obviously I started the morning on kind of a rough
Speaker 3: note with the all sorts of horrible things happening to me,
Speaker 3: and then I thought, well, Asha will come by, she'll
Speaker 3: brighten my day. We'll move on with our lives. So
Speaker 3: I was, you know, I was thrown and I was
Speaker 3: a little disappointed. Disappointed is the least of it when
Speaker 3: I saw you walking into my backyard holding And let's
Speaker 3: just be clear, this podcast is called I said no gifts,
Speaker 3: and I assume you've gotten at least one email you
Speaker 3: were holding a gift. This is a black bag? Is
Speaker 3: this for me?
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna be really honest with you. I yes,
Speaker 2: it is okay for you. Okay, but I just want
Speaker 2: you know I'm a big fan of the podcast. Okay,
Speaker 2: so I've I've listened interesting, I'm aware, I've heard, I've
Speaker 2: heard how I rate you get sure when people bring gifts.
Speaker 2: But I think I think you're gonna love this.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well that's I like the fact that you're willing
Speaker 3: to take a big risk with what could end up
Speaker 3: being an explosive situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I genuinely believe that once you see the gift,
Speaker 2: once it's in your beautiful handy, I'm gonna turn around.
Speaker 3: Well shall I open it here on the podcast?
Speaker 2: I think you should.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're reaching into the bag and there are two
Speaker 3: items in here, but there it seems like they're wrapped. Yea,
Speaker 3: so it doesn't matter which one I pull out first.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, maybe the big one.
Speaker 3: Is this the big one? Yeah, okay, I'm gonna pull
Speaker 3: this out. I love this wrapping paper.
Speaker 2: It's it's nice. It waswhere in my house.
Speaker 3: It's like a kind of old fashioned with beautiful illustrations
Speaker 3: of vegetables, including an eggplant a tomato. Did you say
Speaker 3: eggplant or abergine?
Speaker 2: Uh no, but we do say rocket instead of ugola.
Speaker 3: Oh sure, rocket is a way better name.
Speaker 2: Rocket is sick. I think about that often.
Speaker 3: It's crazy that we decided not to call that rocket
Speaker 3: rocket salad. Well, I don't understand. Did rocket ships come
Speaker 3: after the what was first called a rocket?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It seems because they're such far removed. I mean, they
Speaker 3: are very different things.
Speaker 2: They are. I wonder where that came from.
Speaker 3: Was that a desperate attempt by the arugula lobby to
Speaker 3: make it seem more exciting. Maybe the birds are going
Speaker 3: wild today. I love it. They're really screaming at each other.
Speaker 3: But yeah, rocket, that doesn't make any sense to me
Speaker 3: as far as spaceships and things that go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the origins
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 3: That seems like it would be a good campaign, and
Speaker 3: if you were like at least trying to get children
Speaker 3: to eat it.
Speaker 2: For sure.
Speaker 3: Call it a rocket, Call anything a rocket. Okay, well,
Speaker 3: let's let's get into this here.
Speaker 2: I tried not to make it too difficult to open my.
Speaker 3: Kind of a tubular shape, kind of a sausage. And
Speaker 3: we're putting the tape here. Let's see. Oh I love
Speaker 3: how thick this paper is.
Speaker 4: Oo.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is something called ricks Lotion Original Herbal Blend, Witch,
Speaker 3: Hazel and alo vera moisturizer and toner in one. I've
Speaker 3: never seen this before.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is my favorite moisturizer in the whole.
Speaker 3: I love a moisturizer recommendation.
Speaker 2: Oh I And I just I'm not I'm not like
Speaker 2: a little fan of the podcast, like I'm a big fan. Okay,
Speaker 2: And I thought to myself, I was, I was really
Speaker 2: this weekend, I was like, fuck, what am I going
Speaker 2: to bring? Should I bring? And I didn't want to
Speaker 2: bring something to clutter up your space?
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2: But you know when someone gives you.
Speaker 3: A gift and you're like, oh.
Speaker 2: Just more shit for me to find a place for.
Speaker 2: This is going to change your life?
Speaker 3: How so?
Speaker 2: Okay, the couple there's like older couple who made this moisturizer.
Speaker 2: They were giving out free samples at the grocery store.
Speaker 2: Which grocery store at Lasson, It's like, oh yeah, eight
Speaker 2: years ago.
Speaker 3: You know they do that there, right of course.
Speaker 2: And they were offering everybody samples. Nobody was taken. I
Speaker 2: felt really bad for them, so I said, I'll try it.
Speaker 3: Sure.
Speaker 2: I put some on my hand and I was like,
Speaker 2: that's good, it's great.
Speaker 3: You know, right as you do at the grocery store,
Speaker 3: you're just being polite to the sample personally.
Speaker 2: So then I went to pay for my groceries and
Speaker 2: as I pulled something out of my bag, I don't
Speaker 2: remember what it was, but one hand great on the other.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, I thought it
Speaker 3: was a stranger, thought it was somebody else's hand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never felt my like I had never experienced
Speaker 2: my sleeping like this. And I said hold on, and
Speaker 2: I went back and bottles, and they don't sell it
Speaker 2: in Australia, so whenever I go there, it's half of
Speaker 2: one suitcase. It's just wow, because I.
Speaker 3: And you have amazing skin. So this is a great recommendation.
Speaker 2: I feel really strongly about it, and I've actually given
Speaker 2: this as a gift so many times in my life.
Speaker 2: I called a friend yesterday and said what should I give?
Speaker 2: And they're like, ricks, ricks?
Speaker 3: Should I put some one? Now?
Speaker 2: You should put it on your hand, And then I think,
Speaker 2: I think you'll feel better about the whole thing in
Speaker 2: like five minutes. You're gonna love it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's a whow Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The old bottles actually used to have a picture
Speaker 2: of the couple on the bottle, and I missed.
Speaker 3: That, thinking, I don't know I would buy anything with
Speaker 3: a picture of an old couple on it. Wont if
Speaker 3: their skin is good? Is their skin good? Yeah? What
Speaker 3: are they doing? They should have their picture and their age.
Speaker 3: Now my hands are so slippery, I won't be able
Speaker 3: to hold the microphone. And Lisa is currently holding the
Speaker 3: mic and may have to hold it for the rest
Speaker 3: of the episode.
Speaker 2: It'll still get it.
Speaker 3: This is the most erotic visual you could possibly imagine.
Speaker 2: I'm also like not convinced. I mean, I think that
Speaker 2: it cures everything. I think because I get little like
Speaker 2: X and my kind of thing, or I'll get a
Speaker 2: little sunburn.
Speaker 3: And you'll put it on it. I mean, it feels
Speaker 3: great right now, we'll see it smells anyway. Do you
Speaker 3: want some right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll take it.
Speaker 3: Throw some of that on you might as well. I'll
Speaker 3: be moisturized. You know, I've been moisturizing my entire life,
Speaker 3: at least since third grade. I've been you know, moisture, moisture, moisture.
Speaker 3: And I think it's partially because most of my ancestry
Speaker 3: comes from you know, very cloudy, wet places, and then
Speaker 3: I grew up in a desert, so my skin was
Speaker 3: screaming for moisture at all times. And so you know,
Speaker 3: I do a veno oh yeah, which is a nice
Speaker 3: daily thing. But this, who knows what will happen with this?
Speaker 3: Unless I break out in hives.
Speaker 2: Well we'll see.
Speaker 3: So far, so good. I mean it feels very nice.
Speaker 3: And which hazel delicious scent? Oh yeah, what's your moisturizing routine.
Speaker 3: I'm always curious about this with different people.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm I'm a big believer in like exfoliation, okay, daily,
Speaker 2: Well for me, yes, okay, I don't know if it's
Speaker 2: for everyone, but for me because Ashley elbows and these.
Speaker 3: Oh sure nobody wants that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. So yeah, I'm a big se lux cloth.
Speaker 3: He has ever heard of this?
Speaker 2: They're this Korean kind of stretchy exfoliating. The package has
Speaker 2: a picture of a woman using it on the front
Speaker 2: and she's going like this on her back, which is
Speaker 2: I use it?
Speaker 3: Sure? I kind of have to get that like that
Speaker 3: real pole that I don't know what the physics term
Speaker 3: is for that. Make sure the weight is really dragging
Speaker 3: along your back. And then how do you do your
Speaker 3: knee like you're shining a shoe.
Speaker 2: It's you can I guess you could do that. I've
Speaker 2: never done that.
Speaker 3: Aports.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like a loofa like you can use
Speaker 2: it however you want. But I'm a big believer in explanation.
Speaker 2: Is key right, right? And then I'm a Ricks.
Speaker 3: You're a ris girl, Ricks.
Speaker 2: I believe in the power of.
Speaker 3: I will say when I first opened this bottle, there's
Speaker 3: a type of shampoo. I was just talking to somebody
Speaker 3: about this, which I believe is called rid. Is that
Speaker 3: what it is that gets rid of lice? Or maybe
Speaker 3: nix or maybe those are both lice shampoos. So Rix
Speaker 3: is really playing a dangerous game with the name of
Speaker 3: their lotion. I think we both mix different lice shampoos.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think they could do better with
Speaker 2: their marketing and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like they're making a lot of the
Speaker 3: wrong moves. But then they end up on a podcast
Speaker 3: with these ringing recommendations, and maybe the sales go through
Speaker 3: the roof. I think they might do we know what
Speaker 3: the couple's name is. No, at least could we find
Speaker 3: out John and Louise Ricks. Who are they?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I want to see a photo of them. It's been
Speaker 2: so long they change this packaging.
Speaker 3: We're gonna find out they died. That's gonna be the
Speaker 3: unfortunate thing that happens on this podcast, that the Ricks
Speaker 3: couple is gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna get really heavy.
Speaker 3: O my god, are you doing all of your grocery
Speaker 3: shopping at lessons?
Speaker 2: I don't like to say it in my car. Okay, So
Speaker 2: I'm a big like if I can, if it's convenient,
Speaker 2: neighborhood like, right, situation. I don't like big grocery stores.
Speaker 2: Freak me out.
Speaker 3: Oh I love them. I get so anxious mums. I
Speaker 3: go there and don't buy anything, just brow saying it
Speaker 3: feels incredible. Wow, just lost in the aisles of Albertson's.
Speaker 2: Maybe I should change my thinking around it, but I
Speaker 2: genuinely get quite overwhelmed in a.
Speaker 3: Big shopping sure, all the choices and yeah, like a
Speaker 3: mall right.
Speaker 2: My throat feels like it's gonna jump out of my body.
Speaker 2: I don't know where the exits are, you know.
Speaker 3: Oh that is kind of a frightening way.
Speaker 2: Did I park my car?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: So I try to stick to like smaller.
Speaker 3: Grocery lessons for the listener who's not familiar as a
Speaker 3: very small grocery store, kind of an original, probably one
Speaker 3: of the first like organic grocery stores, and I think
Speaker 3: run by probably strange people.
Speaker 2: I think it has some interesting politics.
Speaker 3: Yes, I believe they do. I think that they may
Speaker 3: even be Mormon whoa or there may be some Mormon
Speaker 3: tie because I remember them being a little like me,
Speaker 3: being like, what's how do you feel about me? As
Speaker 3: a person? Didn't do too much digging. But maybe those
Speaker 3: were just the founders now because they also could be
Speaker 3: the biggest hippies in the world, because that's how the
Speaker 3: store feels.
Speaker 2: Well it does, and we'll never know.
Speaker 3: We'll never because we'll never look it.
Speaker 2: Up, don't google it.
Speaker 3: Well, live in ignorance as this couple.
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, first of all, their names are Jerry and
Speaker 4: Donna Govin.
Speaker 3: But there's a little bit of a.
Speaker 4: Backstory which I think is fascinating, So follow with me
Speaker 4: on this journey. The original Rix with one X was
Speaker 4: developed as a horse lineament in the sixties. Jerry Govian
Speaker 4: had a background of horseback riding and through business associates,
Speaker 4: met mister Rix, who had a reputation with his herbal
Speaker 4: witch Hazel lotion to heal horses.
Speaker 3: He was the ador to door salesman. That sounds like
Speaker 3: somebody you.
Speaker 4: Just very sketch. That's the only time this man's name
Speaker 4: is referred to. But I guess that was the inspiration
Speaker 4: to heal horses. And then eventually Tennis elbow and do
Speaker 4: we have.
Speaker 3: A picture of Jerry and Donna not on the website.
Speaker 3: They scrubbed themselves from the internet. Something happened. Something happened
Speaker 3: with Jerry and Donna did they is going to harm
Speaker 3: the business, so they've decided let's be faceless.
Speaker 2: It's devastating to me.
Speaker 3: It's devastating to me, and I'm just learning about the brand.
Speaker 3: I can't imagine how you feel.
Speaker 2: Well, So yeah, longtime, fam. And this is another thing
Speaker 2: that I'm out here like, I am the publicist for
Speaker 2: this moisturizer and also your podcast.
Speaker 3: Wait wait wait is this that bless?
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, this is literally the only photo I could find.
Speaker 3: Oh, they look incredible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's Jerry and Donna.
Speaker 3: Will get a picture of that on the Instagram or something.
Speaker 3: People need to see Jerry and Donna because they look
Speaker 3: great and their teeth are bright white. I'm sure they've
Speaker 3: had some work done. Ah. Wow, interesting. You know what
Speaker 3: I just learned about. I had another moisturizer recommendation recently
Speaker 3: for lips, and I told my sister and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: of course, it's incredible. Nipple cream.
Speaker 2: Oh I've heard about this.
Speaker 3: The actress Carrie Koon. I was watching a video with
Speaker 3: her and she was screaming about it, and I said,
Speaker 3: I love her acting. Maybe she's got good advice on
Speaker 3: nipple cream. And so I bought a bottle. You put
Speaker 3: it on your lips. I've never experienced anything like this before. Really,
Speaker 3: I can't believe that people buy chapstick when they can
Speaker 3: have I mean, obviously it's a strange thing to have
Speaker 3: in your bag, but who cares and you use this stuff.
Speaker 3: I wish I could remember the brand. It's like Lenosha
Speaker 3: or something, and I was a little skeptical. This stuff
Speaker 3: is amazing. I would say it's the ricks of lips.
Speaker 2: Yeah. See, I actually will tell you my lips are
Speaker 2: the thing I struggle with. I'm a chapped lip lady.
Speaker 3: I think everyone, almost everybody struggles with this, unless you're
Speaker 3: in a deeply humid environment. Sure, right, yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: I should let you try some of the lip the
Speaker 3: nipple cream. It's amazing, and it's it's not like a stick,
Speaker 3: you know, you just have this giant tube of it. Right,
Speaker 3: Everything about it is better than chapstick. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's probably not that expensive, right.
Speaker 3: Not that expensive, not expensive at all, and harder to
Speaker 3: lose because you know, you're a chapstick is the size
Speaker 3: of a man, whereas this is, you know, almost the
Speaker 3: size of a ricks bottle.
Speaker 2: As if I'm with chapstick, You're kind of.
Speaker 3: Right. It's boring, and it sometimes it melts and then
Speaker 3: it turns into kind of a disaster and then it's
Speaker 3: like falling. If there's so many problems with chapstick, Yeah,
Speaker 3: the only good thing I guess is the SPF. But
Speaker 3: aren't you putting SPF on the face anyway? It's uh,
Speaker 3: I don't think that the five SPF of a chapstick
Speaker 3: is probably doing anything to help anybody.
Speaker 2: Well, when I put sunscreen, I think I get it
Speaker 2: on my lips anyway, So.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, unless the lip rejects it. But I don't
Speaker 3: think that. I don't know the science behind lips rejecting SPF,
Speaker 3: So no one look into it.
Speaker 2: Please intense like visual in my mind.
Speaker 3: Just flying off your lips.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my lip's becoming a completely different entity to the
Speaker 2: rest of my body.
Speaker 3: And no, lips are weird. They are a weird part
Speaker 3: of the body that people don't really. I think people
Speaker 3: like to not think about the fact that lips are
Speaker 3: a different type of skin and that they're just these
Speaker 3: weird things on your face that are kicking the bag
Speaker 3: because I'm thinking about how scary lips actually are. It's
Speaker 3: kind of a you know, it's a portal to the
Speaker 3: rest of your body, and it's there's something wrong with lips.
Speaker 2: What I realized, when you kick the bag, you still
Speaker 2: have the tiny one in there.
Speaker 3: Yes, of course, I believe me. I've been to open Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna rip this one open now unless we have
Speaker 3: more to say about Rix.
Speaker 2: You're not ready.
Speaker 3: How much should RIX pay you to bring this? We
Speaker 3: said enough. Are Jerry and Donna going to be satisfied
Speaker 3: with how much was said about Ricks? I think they will, Okay,
Speaker 3: I think I think they're going to FOS two or
Speaker 3: Sticklers if they get their money's worth. They're probably waiting
Speaker 3: for you at lessons.
Speaker 2: I wish I could meet them again and tell them
Speaker 2: how they've changed my life.
Speaker 3: You've met Jerry, and I'm unbelievable. It's hard. You would
Speaker 3: have gotten a picture with them, Oh my god, Oh jeez,
Speaker 3: what a shame.
Speaker 2: And I would have really stucked up on the ricks
Speaker 2: before they changed.
Speaker 3: The packaging, of course, collector's item on eBay. Okay, we're
Speaker 3: pulling this one.
Speaker 2: Because I've now.
Speaker 3: Opened the next bottle and it's simply another bottle of ricks.
Speaker 3: But it's a to go ricks to go. It's, you know,
Speaker 3: the smaller. It's like a hotel shampoo.
Speaker 2: Because here's what I think. I think you're gonna leave
Speaker 2: the house to run your errands later and everything is okay,
Speaker 2: and then you're gonna think, no.
Speaker 3: I need more I'm the I am. I am noticing
Speaker 3: a very nice softness to my skin right now, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it feels very good, and I'm gonna track this throughout
Speaker 3: the day. But now that I have this to go,
Speaker 3: I'm getting very good at like being prepared.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh, you know, I carry a bag, and I've carried
Speaker 3: a bag for a very long time. And uh, for
Speaker 3: probably the first six years of the bag it held
Speaker 3: my wallet and my keys. I was there was all
Speaker 3: this room to you know, have everything I could possibly need.
Speaker 3: And so now I've got a miniature deodorant, I've got
Speaker 3: my glasses, my sunglasses, my prescription sunglasses, my wallet often
Speaker 3: just a mess of napkins. What else is in there?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm gonna be putting this in of course,
Speaker 3: and is there anything else that really I should have
Speaker 3: a snack in there?
Speaker 2: I think it's good to go out with a snack. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because love, blood sugar.
Speaker 3: Is h it's it's not a good feeling. But my
Speaker 3: fear is that I would just eat the snack when
Speaker 3: my blood sugar wasn't low.
Speaker 2: So I have trouble with self control too. What kind
Speaker 2: of bag is it? Is it like a leather like
Speaker 2: a tot.
Speaker 3: This one my sister gave me for my birthday. It's
Speaker 3: the brand is Bagoo. Do you know this? It's I've
Speaker 3: been told I for a couple of years of owning it,
Speaker 3: or at least the first year, I thought it was green,
Speaker 3: and then people started telling me that's gold. And now
Speaker 3: it's really wow. This is kind of the dress. This
Speaker 3: is the new the dress. This is gonna go viral.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go get the bag. I shouldn't have told
Speaker 3: you because now you two are going to say, well,
Speaker 3: it's gold. I should have.
Speaker 2: Oh god, do you think it's gold?
Speaker 3: There's hon Lisa's seen it. Okay, don't let Analse influence you.
Speaker 3: They're very pushy.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna.
Speaker 3: It could be a different color. It could be black,
Speaker 3: it could be pink. Who knows. So I want you
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go get the bag, and I want you
Speaker 3: to be as honest as possible, leaning in my direction. Okay,
Speaker 3: and we'll see what happens. I'll be right back.
Speaker 2: Wait, this is incredibly exciting.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm back and apparently on Lisa's used some lotion.
Speaker 3: Uh and honly seems happy. Now I've got my bag.
Speaker 3: We'll post a video or a photo of this so
Speaker 3: everyone can support me. What do you think? What color
Speaker 3: would you describe this?
Speaker 2: Okay, I've questioned, Well, I've got thoughts. I think because
Speaker 2: you know, when you you wear a bag around, it's
Speaker 2: gonna it's gonna change color slightly because you've been wearing
Speaker 2: it around. But I think, well, I think that's that's
Speaker 2: a sign of a great bag. I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go against everyone.
Speaker 3: What are you going to say?
Speaker 2: I think it's like a oh no, it's not wait,
Speaker 2: it feels like amy.
Speaker 3: Cocky kind of Okay, So this I like because I
Speaker 3: kind of got army green. Oh sure, but not it
Speaker 3: isn't army green, but I think it's somewhere in that
Speaker 3: realm of army.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, and nobody thinks I look that little squirrel
Speaker 3: on the roof, that's very cute, having the time of
Speaker 3: its life. It's joined the podcast. Are really entering the
Speaker 3: yard right now in a way that nobody could have expected,
Speaker 3: trotting along by a cactus. I'm very curious this squirrel.
Speaker 3: We're getting a lot of action here. There will be
Speaker 3: no pictures. Don't think about it's too quick. Oh and now,
Speaker 3: it's exited into the neighbor's yard. That's a pomegranate tree
Speaker 3: and the squirrels go crazy when there's fruit on it.
Speaker 2: My god.
Speaker 3: Okay, but this that was a show just for us. Okay, Yes,
Speaker 3: in the army category and no one now it's the
Speaker 3: garbage truck has entered the podcast. Everybody wants a piece,
Speaker 3: everybody else, I said, garbage, men's squirrels, everybody. But nobody
Speaker 3: ever thinks yellow with the army.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: No, Well, when you say, what colors do you think
Speaker 3: of with military? Could be nice though everybody in bright yellow.
Speaker 2: Gold accent. Nobody's doing that?
Speaker 3: Why not? No army is doing that. But if someone
Speaker 3: were to say, name the colors of people out in war,
Speaker 3: I'd say green, tan camouflage. Sure never yellow. On Lisa,
Speaker 3: are you feeling differently now?
Speaker 4: I mean I could see tan. I could see and
Speaker 4: maybe that's where the army comes from, because I think
Speaker 4: that could blend into some environments, right, But I still
Speaker 4: there's way more yellow in that than maybe.
Speaker 3: We say, like, what are you tan? With green accents,
Speaker 3: green undertones, green undertones. Oh.
Speaker 2: I love the discussion around underturned, I know.
Speaker 3: And I feel like this has got green undertone.
Speaker 2: If it makes you happy, then yes.
Speaker 3: Well nothing makes me happy, So this is going to
Speaker 3: be a big problem.
Speaker 2: I think the genuinely kind of on your side. I
Speaker 2: see the green undertones there, go.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not violet undertones, it's not blue undertones.
Speaker 3: If this was someone's face, we'd be saying they've got
Speaker 3: green undertones and yeah, tan face.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I also I remember the dress and I
Speaker 2: saw both.
Speaker 3: You saw both.
Speaker 2: I would close my eyes and then open them and
Speaker 2: one and then I closed my eyes and opened the other. Wow.
Speaker 2: I thought it was just like some kind of graphic
Speaker 2: that they were putting on.
Speaker 3: The internet, right, like a hologram or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is so dumb. They're just changing
Speaker 2: the color of the thing.
Speaker 3: I can't remember what color. I mean, should we drag
Speaker 3: the podcast back to this and I should look at
Speaker 3: it and see what I think the dress and Lisa's
Speaker 3: got it, Okay, I see blue.
Speaker 2: I'm seeing white and gold.
Speaker 3: White and gold.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: I mean it continues to be a magical phenomenon. Is
Speaker 3: uh just like my bag, my viral bag.
Speaker 2: The internet won.
Speaker 3: TikTok won't stop talking about is it green or yellow? God?
Speaker 2: I mean it is. It's a quandary for sure.
Speaker 3: Huge problem for everybody, and ultimately I think we can
Speaker 3: all settle on it being absolutely filthy. I should probably
Speaker 3: put it through the wash or something. No, well, I've
Speaker 3: got my lotion here. Do we have anything left to
Speaker 3: say about Jerry and Donna's big product?
Speaker 2: Oh? I, I don't know. They feel like like this
Speaker 2: is like a single mom with its child now just
Speaker 2: here on the table.
Speaker 3: It does look like like a nice little family there,
Speaker 3: very cute.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't have I don't read.
Speaker 3: It's like a kangaroo and it's Joey just ready to
Speaker 3: drown a dog.
Speaker 2: Psychotic kangaroos. Violence.
Speaker 3: I can't believe that about kangaroos. That's unfortunate. Yes, oh well, okay,
Speaker 3: I think we should play a game. Let's play Gift
Speaker 3: or curse. I feel like we're already arguing, we might
Speaker 3: as well keep doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the one that you can fail at.
Speaker 3: You can fail, so be very careful. I need a
Speaker 3: number between one and ten from you. Okay, six, Okay,
Speaker 3: I have to do some light calculating to get our
Speaker 3: game pieces. You can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.
Speaker 2: Oh, Wow, I am on a television show again. It's
Speaker 2: on Netflix. It's called Apple Side of Intego. It's a
Speaker 2: scammer story. It's good. That's a cool people in it.
Speaker 2: It's a little psycho. If you want to watch it.
Speaker 2: There's a dance sequence to Britney Spears in it, so
Speaker 2: you should probably watch it.
Speaker 3: Well, that's perfect. Everybody watched the show. I think that's
Speaker 3: kind of all I heard. And I heard, of course
Speaker 3: about Jerry and Donna again.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, do you know what? I just realized this
Speaker 2: is really important to me. What happened with the leaking
Speaker 2: in your house?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And I only know this because it felt like part
Speaker 2: of my life.
Speaker 3: I think it felt like a part of a lot
Speaker 3: of people's lives because I wouldn't stop talking about it.
Speaker 3: It was like years of me talking about this thing
Speaker 3: because it was just haunting me.
Speaker 2: Because Alcon is now leaking, Oh no, I should see
Speaker 2: them a bridge.
Speaker 3: Oh you need to Okay, So have you spoken to
Speaker 3: your landlord?
Speaker 2: I have?
Speaker 3: They came and sealed it, okay, and didn't help.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. The rain hasn't come.
Speaker 3: This week will be a big test about I know,
Speaker 3: and I know that feeling. I know that just gut feet.
Speaker 3: How much did it leak into your place?
Speaker 2: Well, it actually it leaked into my downstairs neighbor, isn't.
Speaker 3: It doesn't looked me. Well, that's very nice.
Speaker 2: Of you, but I feel like fucked up about it.
Speaker 3: Right, of course the building shouldn't be leaking. Oh that's
Speaker 3: that's why you're inside. Otherwise you would stand in the rain.
Speaker 3: Completely my situation. You know, it lasted one hundred years,
Speaker 3: and we've tried so many different things. It really I
Speaker 3: about died doing it, and we finally, and this is
Speaker 3: a big knock on wood situation, fixed it by essentially
Speaker 3: a trench had to I believe it's called a French drain,
Speaker 3: had to be dug behind where it was leaking down
Speaker 3: and behind and they put a tube or a pipe
Speaker 3: with little holes in it. And so when the underground
Speaker 3: water gets to the area where it floods, it now
Speaker 3: enters this pipe and gets taken to where it needs
Speaker 3: to go back outside. And of course this was I
Speaker 3: think I think twenty twenty three when this was fixed,
Speaker 3: and twenty twenty four it seemed to be holding up.
Speaker 3: And now here we are in the middle of this
Speaker 3: unprecedented drought of I mean, I've never seen anything like it.
Speaker 3: But it is going to rain. It has to rain
Speaker 3: for days at a time for it to really flood. Okay,
Speaker 3: so I kind of I am glad that.
Speaker 2: We're is nice. You probably loving this dra.
Speaker 3: Water. We got a little bottles. It comes out of
Speaker 3: my sink. I don't know why we would need more,
Speaker 3: but it's solved. Okay, knock on wood.
Speaker 2: I just literally has been on my mind because honestly,
Speaker 2: I've been very busy lately, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm bin on the podcast and I like didn't know.
Speaker 2: I didn't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's uh so that's good. I mean, I just
Speaker 3: pray every day that it doesn't happen again because the
Speaker 3: amount of water I've had to vacuum is just ridiculous.
Speaker 3: It was really destroying me for a time.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm happy for you. It's my mind it is.
Speaker 2: I'll sleep better, I know, thank you.
Speaker 3: All Right, We're going to play Gift or a Curse.
Speaker 3: I name three things. You tell me if they're a
Speaker 3: gift or a curse and why, And you have to
Speaker 3: be very careful because there are correct answers and you
Speaker 3: could fail. So be very careful. Okay. This first one
Speaker 3: is from the Mega list This is gift or a curse?
Speaker 3: The duo Lingo owl's death by Tesla truck. I can't say.
Speaker 3: I can't say anything else.
Speaker 2: Is this something you have to be super online for.
Speaker 2: Probably I know what the Duolingo owl is and I
Speaker 2: know what the Tesla is. So the Duolingo owl apparently
Speaker 2: died by Tesla truck.
Speaker 3: Apparently tragic?
Speaker 2: Okay? Do I think it's a gift or a curse?
Speaker 3: Oh? And the listener's named Shane, by the way, I
Speaker 3: forgot that in my confusion. We don't know up from
Speaker 3: down right?
Speaker 2: Now, come on, Shane. No, Shane seems like a good,
Speaker 2: good Egg, good person. I think I'm going to say
Speaker 2: gift okay. And why well, because I've always felt like
Speaker 2: Tesla's I didn't like them, right. I remember the first
Speaker 2: time I got in, I said, how do I, you know,
Speaker 2: make the air conditioner go up? And and i'd's like, oh,
Speaker 2: you just like overly complicated.
Speaker 3: Give me a button and a dial.
Speaker 2: Literally, I drive the same Honda Civik I've been driving
Speaker 2: for thirteen.
Speaker 3: Years, exactly how to do it?
Speaker 2: I love it. So I've always kind of been ticked off,
Speaker 2: I am, and that was before everything, you know, So
Speaker 2: I kind of just if the duel can go out.
Speaker 2: I'm sure some people love that out. Sure, if it
Speaker 2: died by Tesla truck, that's just for me affirming everything
Speaker 2: I already knew.
Speaker 3: Right, gift, right, gift. You're correct. I think this is
Speaker 3: a definitely a gift, I think. And again I'm with
Speaker 3: you here. I have no idea what we're talking or
Speaker 3: thinking about, but I do know of these two things vaguely.
Speaker 3: I like to think that the Duo Lingo Owl did
Speaker 3: not die in vain. It's brought attention to how horrible
Speaker 3: just we always need to be talking about how horrible
Speaker 3: these trucks are. This brand, and the person behind well,
Speaker 3: he's not actually behind it. He just puts some money
Speaker 3: and he's a scam con artist. But the Duo Lingo Owl,
Speaker 3: it sacrificed itself so we could talk about Tesla trucks
Speaker 3: poorly on a podcast, and I think that's a gift.
Speaker 3: They're ugly, I mean, that's one of the billion problems
Speaker 3: with these stupid machines. The amount of them that I
Speaker 3: see is frightening.
Speaker 2: It's really disappointing.
Speaker 3: Rightening, but it does give you somebody to flip off
Speaker 3: on the road. They don't have to do anything, you
Speaker 3: don't have to even cut you off. You can just
Speaker 3: truly abuse these people. Honk, do whatever you want.
Speaker 2: I would just wind down and we don't go. Wow.
Speaker 3: Not like it's gonna be a nightmare to drive one
Speaker 3: of those. At this point where you're just like everyone
Speaker 3: hates me, you pull into a busy parking lot and
Speaker 3: you just have to wait till everyone is in the
Speaker 3: side of the store before you even get out of
Speaker 3: the stupid truck. Yeah. Yeah, Okay, you've gotten one right
Speaker 3: so far. This next one is from a listener named
Speaker 3: Emily Gift to a curse calling a forty five year
Speaker 3: old man whose name is Peter Peat a forty five
Speaker 3: year old man forty five.
Speaker 2: I don't know how you're gonna feel on this, but
Speaker 2: I also just have to be true to myself.
Speaker 3: I think that's a good way to go.
Speaker 2: Get wrong. I need Oh why, well, first of all,
Speaker 2: I'm Australian. We don't like to say anyone's name. How
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 3: Australians love to put a y at the end of
Speaker 3: things or an id.
Speaker 2: Ah, love it it's the national pastime, literally is what
Speaker 2: I wake up for it in the morning. Well, can I
Speaker 2: shorten today? It's very important to me. I also do.
Speaker 2: I have a very dear friend of mine whose name
Speaker 2: is Peter, and he's always been Pety to me.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, always been pet to me, always been.
Speaker 2: It's a gift. But you know that's just that's culturally
Speaker 2: where I'm coming from, right right, yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, well, well, well you're right. I think p D's
Speaker 3: a nice name. I think that, you know, there are
Speaker 3: some nicknames that are horrible, and PD is towing the line.
Speaker 3: But sure I'll call a Peter p D. Why not?
Speaker 3: Who's stopping me? I mean, in a business meeting, you're
Speaker 3: referring to your colleague as p d 'or in some
Speaker 3: tricky territory. But it brings you are immediately in love
Speaker 3: with the PD. You can't be mad at PD completely.
Speaker 2: I also think, like a forty five year old man,
Speaker 2: claim Pete just kind of.
Speaker 3: Yes PD, PD. I don't know any pds. I know
Speaker 3: plenty of Peters, and I think if I called them PD,
Speaker 3: they'd be furious, oh too familiar. But as far as
Speaker 3: Emily and PD are concerned, who cares.
Speaker 2: I think you should try it with your Peter friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just kind of. Maybe I'll text all of them
Speaker 3: after this podcast. Hi, Pete, no other no other text? Okay,
Speaker 3: you've gone two so far. Number three. This is from
Speaker 3: a listener named Mo. Gift to a curse when toilet
Speaker 3: paper is marketed as six equals twenty four or sixteen
Speaker 3: equals sixty four or twenty four equals one hundred and
Speaker 3: twenty three. I haven't seen that one, but we'll trust
Speaker 3: Mo here.
Speaker 2: I already know it's cause why I just think it's
Speaker 2: a lie.
Speaker 3: How so you don't think that a six actually equals
Speaker 3: twenty four?
Speaker 2: I just just make it twenty fo Like, why are
Speaker 2: we doing this? Why are we fucking around? Why can't
Speaker 2: we just have toilet paper? B? What it is?
Speaker 3: Wrong? It's a gift. It is a gift. Well, we
Speaker 3: were talking about me going to the grocery store like
Speaker 3: a museum early, and this to me is a little
Speaker 3: like bonus puzzle. When I get to go to the
Speaker 3: grocery store, I see this and I think, what does
Speaker 3: that mean? I've never thought about toilet paper math ever?
Speaker 3: What is even six rolls of toilet paper? What is
Speaker 3: twenty four? How do those equal each other? And then
Speaker 3: I'm just kind of standing there and it's giving me
Speaker 3: a reason to soak up the grocery store I have.
Speaker 3: You know, the toilet paper aisle is almost always empty
Speaker 3: and quiet, so I get to just kind of contemplate,
Speaker 3: how do twenty four rolls of toilet paper equal one
Speaker 3: hundred and twenty three rolls of toilet paper? And have
Speaker 3: you gotten to the bottoment I haven't yet, and I
Speaker 3: hope I never do. I hope that this new trend
Speaker 3: of telling people that you can just literally if you
Speaker 3: own a toilet paper company, you can just put two
Speaker 3: different numbers on it, and people nobody really knows se.
Speaker 2: Is I Sometimes I like being gaslet I do. Sometimes
Speaker 2: I like it.
Speaker 3: It feels nice to just have to be denied your reality.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's a it's a lovely place to exist,
Speaker 2: of course, so I can see where you're coming from.
Speaker 2: I guess, depending on the depending on the time of
Speaker 2: the month, I would be like, yeah, I'm into that.
Speaker 3: Well, we all love it. It's a gift. You're wrong.
Speaker 3: You don't win the game, but I got two out
Speaker 3: of three, which is not terrible.
Speaker 2: I'm big in you know, abundance.
Speaker 3: I mean in toilet paper math, two out of three
Speaker 3: is four hundred. Yeah, you can just say whatever. So
Speaker 3: maybe you in your own little world within the toilet
Speaker 3: paper industry, you may have won. Okay, all right, excellent.
Speaker 3: This is the final segment of the podcast. How do
Speaker 3: I always forget? I'm trying. We're trying to get rid
Speaker 3: of honor.
Speaker 4: Reality is being denied.
Speaker 3: Right o, God, you're not even a PU on this podcast?
Speaker 2: How dare you?
Speaker 3: What's happening on Alyse? Do you have your gift or
Speaker 3: a curse? On a lease? Now does their own gift
Speaker 3: or a curse?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 3: Where they present one and we both have to play
Speaker 3: and see if who's right or wrong.
Speaker 4: A lot of wordy entries this week. So I'm just
Speaker 4: going to give one word for my gift or a curse. Okay,
Speaker 4: gift or a curse. Olives?
Speaker 3: Oh, do you want to go or should I go?
Speaker 2: I'll I'll let you take the lead on this one.
Speaker 3: Olives are a gift I for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 3: First of all, it's a difficult thing for some people
Speaker 3: to eat. They don't love to eat, and olive it's
Speaker 3: a strong flavor, and you know, I think that the
Speaker 3: olive initially is one of these things that as a
Speaker 3: child you learn how to acquire a taste because you
Speaker 3: put one on your finger and it's fun and that
Speaker 3: makes up for the fact that it tastes porrible. And
Speaker 3: then you learn, oh, this tastes good. That's just your
Speaker 3: typical olive, black olive out of a can, and then
Speaker 3: you're on your way to eat all sorts of different olives.
Speaker 3: It's also the only food, tell me one other food
Speaker 3: that at a restaurant you can eat and then stick
Speaker 3: your fingers in your mouth and pull something out in
Speaker 3: front of polite company. For that alone, it's a gift.
Speaker 3: You get to chew up a thing and then in
Speaker 3: front of a you know, a client at a sales
Speaker 3: lunch or your wife's parents, whoever, you stick your fingers
Speaker 3: in your mouth and pull out the pit and put
Speaker 3: it in a dish. I love that.
Speaker 2: I think I'm with you. I think it's a gift.
Speaker 2: I just well, I don't know about you. I always
Speaker 2: go to restaurants already too hungry. Hmm right, I'm already mad.
Speaker 2: I am furious actually that I've let it go this long.
Speaker 3: Yes, I know this feeling, my.
Speaker 2: Version is starting to go like dark around the edges,
Speaker 2: and the olives just come out so fast. Then they
Speaker 2: straight away there's no prep, No, just give me an olive.
Speaker 2: I'm a little bit mad at how they're priced.
Speaker 3: Sometimes pricing is again I guess this is kind of
Speaker 3: a toilet paper issue. No one really knows how much
Speaker 3: an olive should cost, and so you can truly just
Speaker 3: charge whatever you want for it. But I'll pay it,
Speaker 3: of course, because you're like, well, maybe that is how
Speaker 3: much olives cost.
Speaker 2: I don't know. My blood sugar is so long.
Speaker 3: I'm not an olive farmer. Maybe they are a dollar apiece,
Speaker 3: but yeah, I think that they're a gift on a lease.
Speaker 2: They're absolutely a gift.
Speaker 4: They're either First of all, I think they're delicious just
Speaker 4: personally speaking. But if you don't like them, then you
Speaker 4: can bond with somebody else and say like, hey, there's
Speaker 4: going to be somebody else at your table that likes them,
Speaker 4: and then you've now graciously given them something that they're
Speaker 4: going to enjoy, and that.
Speaker 3: Forges a connection, bringing everyone together, bringing them.
Speaker 4: All together, just like I did with this gift. Or yes,
Speaker 4: we're all united and on the same page.
Speaker 3: So we're all lotioned up and loving olives, moisturiz and
Speaker 3: I will say that there at the grocery store, Gelson's
Speaker 3: on Franklin Avenue, used to have an adorable little olive
Speaker 3: bar that was the shape of a wagon, an old
Speaker 3: fashioned covered wagon. It didn't make any sense to me,
Speaker 3: but I loved looking at the wagon full of olives. Really,
Speaker 3: it's very cute. They got rid of it, probably because
Speaker 3: I made fun of it online, but I loved that thing. Anyway.
Speaker 3: I'm glad that we all we didn't have to get
Speaker 3: into a fight about that. Let's get into this. This
Speaker 3: is the final segment of the podcast. I said, no
Speaker 3: emails people write into I said, no gifts at gmail
Speaker 3: dot com begging for answers. We hope answer a question.
Speaker 2: I can do that.
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, let's look at this. This is uh,
Speaker 3: dear Bridger on a lease and guests who's clearly just
Speaker 3: looking for attention. I'm interesting, Why me for fil I
Speaker 3: live in northern Maine and it has been snowing constantly
Speaker 3: over the month of February. Not my problem. The most
Speaker 3: recent snowstorm dropped half foot of snow and then a
Speaker 3: nice layer of ice all in the span of a
Speaker 3: few hours. The next day, my husband conveniently had errands
Speaker 3: to run, and so he got his car out of
Speaker 3: the driveway and left all of the rest of the
Speaker 3: shoveling to me. While I was shoveling the terribly heavy
Speaker 3: snow and contemplating how much effort a divorce takes, you
Speaker 3: just go on the reality show we talked about earlier.
Speaker 3: My wonderful neighbor came to my rescue and walked her
Speaker 3: snowblower over and helped me to clear the snow. I
Speaker 3: would like to get her something to show my appreciation
Speaker 3: for saving me and potentially my marriage. No, the marriage
Speaker 3: is done. The problem is I know nothing about this person.
Speaker 3: We have lived in our house for three years, and
Speaker 3: I have gone out of my way to avoid interactions
Speaker 3: with any neighbors. I am not a generally friendly person
Speaker 3: and am not in the market for new friends, so
Speaker 3: I see no reason to interact with anyone in my neighborhood. Okaykie,
Speaker 3: so what do you want? Given the fact that I
Speaker 3: am now indebted to my neighbor, I feel as though
Speaker 3: I could get her some I should get her something.
Speaker 3: The only things I know are this, she lives alone,
Speaker 3: has no children, and works in the medical field. I
Speaker 3: am throwing myself upon your mercy and expertise to humbly
Speaker 3: ask that you offer suggestions on what to get her.
Speaker 3: My profuse thanks, Elizabeth. Well, Elizabeth is okay. First of all,
Speaker 3: the marriage is absolutely over, clear as day. The husband
Speaker 3: is deadbeat. He's running his errands and isn't clearing. He's
Speaker 3: only clearing enough. He's leaving his wife to die in
Speaker 3: this frozen home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't. Is a snowblower a thing?
Speaker 3: Snowblower is a thing. It's a machine. What is that horn?
Speaker 3: Somebody is furious? Oh wow, cyber truck. Somebody just cut
Speaker 3: someone off. No, snowblower is kind of like a lawn
Speaker 3: or for the snow. You push it and it sucks
Speaker 3: up the snow and shoots it elsewhere. They're very convenient
Speaker 3: if you have a lot of snow. But you, I guess,
Speaker 3: would have never interacted with one coming from.
Speaker 2: I worked in Montreal for five years. Okay, very depressed
Speaker 2: in that city.
Speaker 3: Who is blowing? That's so crazy? You were in Montreal
Speaker 3: for five years and never saw snow blow?
Speaker 2: No? No, I well, no, I never saw a snowblower.
Speaker 3: Okay, saw shovels.
Speaker 2: Shovels and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nip trucks.
Speaker 2: I didn't love it.
Speaker 3: What are the French Canadians doing without their snowblowers?
Speaker 2: Well, I guess I'm like in the middle of the city,
Speaker 2: so maybe that's not a thing in the middle.
Speaker 3: Of the so interesting. I have a good French Canadian friend,
Speaker 3: Chloe reach out. I feel like she. I can picture
Speaker 3: her behind a snowblower.
Speaker 2: It seems like an epic fucking piece of machine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it has kind of like blades in it.
Speaker 3: It's kind of a scale machine. And Elizabeth's neighbor has
Speaker 3: one and she's showing it off. She probably paid too
Speaker 3: much for it, and she's like, I've got to use
Speaker 3: this as much as possible. Otherwise where why did I
Speaker 3: spend the money? Yeah, so what do we get? Elizabeth's lonely,
Speaker 3: childless doctor of a neighbor wants nothing to do with.
Speaker 2: They had ricks.
Speaker 3: You know, these dry winter months bring up you know,
Speaker 3: you've got a moisturize, moisturized moisturize, and so you reach
Speaker 3: out to ricks. A little couple named Jerry and Donna,
Speaker 3: who probably have a happy marriage. I'm sure they shovel
Speaker 3: the snow for each other, get a bottle of ricks
Speaker 3: and leave it on the neighbor's doorstep.
Speaker 2: I think even the childless deserve to be moisturized. That's
Speaker 2: how I feel.
Speaker 3: That's their new slogan. Even the childless deserve to be moisturized.
Speaker 2: We've come up with a whole new marketing team. This
Speaker 2: podcast is one big ad.
Speaker 3: Jerry and Donna. If I don't hear from you within
Speaker 3: a week, I will burn your company to the ground. Okay,
Speaker 3: so the lotion, a whole basket of this is a
Speaker 3: great idea. Oh, basket of lotion is very silence of lambs.
Speaker 3: We're getting into some scary territory. But Elizabeth obviously wants
Speaker 3: to be scary. She's complaining, she's avoiding her neighbors. She's
Speaker 3: being just this antisocial psychopath. Her husband is trying to
Speaker 3: get out, the neighbor is trying to help. Obviously, Elizabeth's
Speaker 3: life is a mess.
Speaker 2: I'm a little confused about what Elizabeth wants.
Speaker 3: In general, you know, not just from the neighbor, not
Speaker 3: just from her husband. What does she want out of life?
Speaker 2: I follow it would be nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely not Elizabeth, do not write back in.
Speaker 2: What do you want?
Speaker 3: Elizabeth? The gift Elizabeth Okay, needs to give this neighbor
Speaker 3: is to find out who she is, and the neighbor
Speaker 3: will benefit from that in some way once Elie has
Speaker 3: become a whole person and accepted who she is and
Speaker 3: not just somebody who writes in and complains to podcasts,
Speaker 3: because that's not acceptable.
Speaker 2: I think you're on a good track.
Speaker 3: Then, Elizabeth, you got your answer. We answered it perfectly.
Speaker 3: Don't write back it. Well, are you sure I've got? Now?
Speaker 3: I'm going to be fully moisturized at all times, even
Speaker 3: out on the go with my green bag, and people
Speaker 3: are going to be touching me and I'm going to
Speaker 3: feel great. I can rub my hands out on whoever
Speaker 3: I want and they'll be fine with it. It's really
Speaker 3: given me permission to just do, to become kind of
Speaker 3: a neighborhood nuisance. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I like caress on the cheek of a stranger.
Speaker 3: You know, the grocery line. Somebody just feels my hand
Speaker 3: and they love it.
Speaker 2: They love it. They're gonna say, whoa hold on it?
Speaker 2: What moisturize it is? You? Just wait.
Speaker 3: My hands on their hips. I've had such a lovely
Speaker 3: time with you. You do, thank you for being here
Speaker 3: and listener, I'm sure you're already on your way to
Speaker 3: buy ricks at your local organic grosser what have you.
Speaker 3: And so that's something you can do with your rest
Speaker 3: of your day. That's all I'll tell you. The podcast
Speaker 3: is over. I love you, goodbye. I said, No Gifts
Speaker 3: is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on
Speaker 3: Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday.
Speaker 3: The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann, and
Speaker 3: we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You
Speaker 3: must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts,
Speaker 3: that's where you're going to see pictures of all these
Speaker 3: wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see
Speaker 3: the gifts? Ivan?
Speaker 2: Did you hear?
Speaker 1: Fun a man myself perfectly clear?
Speaker 3: And you're I.
Speaker 1: Guess you gotta come to me empty And I said,
Speaker 1: no guests, your own presences, presents en I already had
Speaker 1: too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey
Speaker 1: me