1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,400
Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with brooks Like and Gavin

2
00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:08,559
Speaker 1: de Gras and I heard radio podcast how do you Everybody?

3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 1: My name is brooks Like and welcome to another fine

4
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,239
Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think? And I'm super pumped up

5
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:20,120
Speaker 1: today because sitting to my right and smiling is my dude,

6
00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:25,599
Speaker 1: Mr Gavin de Gros. Yea good, best, best day of

7
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,280
Speaker 1: my life to see you here again and mine and mine.

8
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,400
Speaker 1: Can I just say that we missed you. You're out

9
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,280
Speaker 1: on this fancy singing and dance and two of the

10
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:36,199
Speaker 1: men um and you guys at home listening can't see it.

11
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,400
Speaker 1: But I'm wearing my Gavin de Gros shirt the fred

12
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,559
Speaker 1: you are a true story. It's true And in that

13
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,760
Speaker 1: picture on the shirt you're wearing, I'm looking at my

14
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:48,599
Speaker 1: toes and and the shirt I'm wearing. Yeah, this plan

15
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:53,960
Speaker 1: backfired on reference one of our Brooks Brooks likes to

16
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:58,000
Speaker 1: suck toes. So true story. This is what happened today.

17
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,680
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you, and I don't know, maybe it's

18
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,560
Speaker 1: been six weeks too much since you've been out on

19
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,199
Speaker 1: And you sent us your fresh merch from your tour,

20
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,760
Speaker 1: which we all wore. We all rocked it. I saw

21
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,840
Speaker 1: y'all are great in it. Thanks thanks for rocking it. Um.

22
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,400
Speaker 1: And so I was like, I'm gonna support my brother today.

23
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,480
Speaker 1: He's coming back in the studio. I'm gonna support him.

24
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear this shirt and I'm gonna it's gonna

25
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,360
Speaker 1: post it on my Instagram and I'm gonna say it's

26
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 1: where the shirt of your hero to work the boy

27
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 1: except you come walking, you walk in and you've got

28
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,240
Speaker 1: a shirt, he says. Brooks likes to suck toes. Total

29
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,520
Speaker 1: backfire for me. Yeah, well you need to find better heroes.

30
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,080
Speaker 1: But how are you doing, buddy? How was the tour?

31
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 1: Give us that? Give us how man? Everything was amazing, man,

32
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,720
Speaker 1: I had a great time. Uh you know, Bend and

33
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,720
Speaker 1: crew all got along great. Everybody did their job, Fans

34
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,280
Speaker 1: showed up, they had a great time, you know. And

35
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,200
Speaker 1: it was something I was a little worried about. Every

36
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,840
Speaker 1: time you go on the road, you're always a little

37
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:57,440
Speaker 1: bit fearful of are people gonna remember that I exist

38
00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,080
Speaker 1: in the world. Are your fans gonna remember you? And

39
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,000
Speaker 1: and my fans all showed up and it was an

40
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,720
Speaker 1: amazing time. Saw the country and had a ball. That's amazing.

41
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,760
Speaker 1: Do you have one, um, best memory from the trip

42
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,280
Speaker 1: from the tour one like what city was just on fire?

43
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,600
Speaker 1: Or song? Man? I don't, I don't have one single

44
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,960
Speaker 1: best memory. I mean, my dad came out. Uh you know,

45
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,080
Speaker 1: he likes to take a bunk in the bus. So yeah,

46
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,280
Speaker 1: we lived together on the bus, me and my my,

47
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,120
Speaker 1: my pops, my best my best buddy, my best buddy

48
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 1: I grew up with, came out to the show two

49
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,440
Speaker 1: nights ago in Syracuse. Um, you know, from my hometown.

50
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,320
Speaker 1: So we had a great time too. So there are

51
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,239
Speaker 1: a lot of good, good moments on the road, you

52
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Most of it's for me. I'm like,

53
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:43,239
Speaker 1: I'm like, uh so kind of a hometown mentally sort

54
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,640
Speaker 1: of kind of guy, you know what I mean. I'm

55
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,000
Speaker 1: a hometown family guys. Sat like having my my pops around,

56
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,880
Speaker 1: like having my friends around, stuff like that. So what

57
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,560
Speaker 1: does it feel like being done to her? Are you

58
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,000
Speaker 1: relieved or you like to press like, oh god now?

59
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 1: And I don't know what to do off tour being Yeah,

60
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 1: because you're done, though, I mean delicately put it sucks

61
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,960
Speaker 1: coming off tour. I love being on tour. I mean

62
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,240
Speaker 1: artists love it. They love it. I love it. I

63
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,200
Speaker 1: love it. I think it's because there's certain things that

64
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,640
Speaker 1: are just expected and some things that are unexpected that

65
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,639
Speaker 1: you're okay with, you know what I mean. You expect

66
00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,000
Speaker 1: to be in a different town every day. You don't

67
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,959
Speaker 1: expect um, you know, for certain things to happen while

68
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,480
Speaker 1: you're on the road, but you're kind of happy that

69
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,480
Speaker 1: they do because it just keeps things interesting, you know

70
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,680
Speaker 1: what I mean. And uh, it must be fun to

71
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,880
Speaker 1: have like thousands of beautiful women screaming at you too. Well.

72
00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,560
Speaker 1: So I saw the videos lined up in the front

73
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,280
Speaker 1: row with their Gavin shirts on their their books likes

74
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,360
Speaker 1: to Suck Toes shirts, and the next that's the next

75
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,880
Speaker 1: distribution plan happening out there on the road. Buddy, Well,

76
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,160
Speaker 1: welcome back. We're happy to have you back, and we've

77
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,520
Speaker 1: got the rest of the crew in here. We got

78
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:54,920
Speaker 1: all the we got the Dream Team reunited, we got Dmitri,

79
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,040
Speaker 1: we got Rick, and we got Ryan, who thankfully is

80
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,480
Speaker 1: still with us. Buddy, you had a bit of a

81
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,840
Speaker 1: tough go. You want to enlighten our listeners to what happened.

82
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:08,520
Speaker 1: I had an emergency appendeck to me my I woke

83
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,280
Speaker 1: up in the middle of the night. The worst pan

84
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:14,440
Speaker 1: I've ever experienced. Drove myself to the er and I

85
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,839
Speaker 1: was in the er for fourteen hours before being brought

86
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:22,080
Speaker 1: up to the operating floor. I am convinced I was

87
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,360
Speaker 1: in the e R for fourteen hours because of our episode.

88
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:30,640
Speaker 1: Somehow it cot physician. The physician community is aware of me.

89
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,240
Speaker 1: There is the black list, and they put the smallest

90
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,680
Speaker 1: I V. They couldn't find a vein conveniently to put

91
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,960
Speaker 1: in the I V by the biggest veins you've ever seen.

92
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,600
Speaker 1: Just gouging, gouging, couging. Then it's like, oh, you need

93
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,320
Speaker 1: some morphine, let me put it all in at once.

94
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,320
Speaker 1: I almost passed out. Literally four doctors came running and

95
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,839
Speaker 1: they thought they killed me, and I'm by myself and

96
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,880
Speaker 1: they're dying of slow death. Finally get the surgery and

97
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,400
Speaker 1: I was in there for three days. To ask you

98
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,480
Speaker 1: a question, is there anything? Okay? Perfect? Thank you? Next question,

99
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:03,360
Speaker 1: so I'll have to saying, so, is there a non

100
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:09,239
Speaker 1: emergency version of an appendic tomy? Uh no, there's not. Okay,

101
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:13,440
Speaker 1: it sounds there's no like voluntary, like, oh you know what,

102
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take out my I'm not feeling like I

103
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,520
Speaker 1: want to have this anymore. So I don't even eat

104
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:22,520
Speaker 1: that many nuts. So your appendix burst. It was a

105
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,279
Speaker 1: microscopic perforation. For us in the medical community, that's the

106
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,440
Speaker 1: term we use. Put yourselves. Yes, it was close to bursting.

107
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,800
Speaker 1: How does that happen? That had to have been anxiety

108
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,960
Speaker 1: and stress induced. It had to be. It's a good

109
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,600
Speaker 1: question if I think Amy would tell you, yes, it

110
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,599
Speaker 1: is like it's anxiety induced. The doctor I was going

111
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,240
Speaker 1: to say, in all his pain and misery, he managed

112
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,919
Speaker 1: to text me incessantly because his wife was with the

113
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,200
Speaker 1: baby and the baby on the way, so she couldn't

114
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,800
Speaker 1: really be bothered. So he's like, if I die, tell

115
00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,919
Speaker 1: the guys I love him, page for my funeral. She

116
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,040
Speaker 1: probably couldn't be bothered because she knows that her husband

117
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,120
Speaker 1: is high maintenance and was just like really drawing everything out.

118
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,920
Speaker 1: All I wanted were gifts from all of you. Are

119
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:15,200
Speaker 1: you sure just wasn't a beasting? And we'll never know. Hey,

120
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,599
Speaker 1: I don't know that. I don't know a lot of

121
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,600
Speaker 1: medical stuff. I don't know how big an appendix really is.

122
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,080
Speaker 1: But I would have thought because you had I would

123
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,760
Speaker 1: have thought you would have looked a little thinner after.

124
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:30,680
Speaker 1: That's horrible. It's good to be back. They did not,

125
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,599
Speaker 1: but they So it's a laparoscopic surgery. There's two incisions

126
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,640
Speaker 1: on both sides of my abdomen, and then they pull

127
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,400
Speaker 1: the appendix out through the third incision, which is your

128
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 1: belly button. So they pull the appendix out from your

129
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,920
Speaker 1: belly button, mounted on a little glass case at home.

130
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,960
Speaker 1: I do not the gave that option. No lint in

131
00:06:49,960 --> 00:07:02,040
Speaker 1: there any longer, all the incisions now, the fake apps already. Okay, Dmitri,

132
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,480
Speaker 1: I think we might need to do another episode on

133
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,200
Speaker 1: on this whole thing because that but that was one

134
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 1: of my favorite episodes we did about with with your

135
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,520
Speaker 1: story about visiting the doctor, and and everyone on social

136
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:16,120
Speaker 1: media on Instagram has defended me. Let let the record stay.

137
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:25,360
Speaker 1: Everyone is behind me. Can I'll give it to you.

138
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,360
Speaker 1: I'll give it to you real quick. Because so he

139
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,559
Speaker 1: he had a little rough go in with a doctor.

140
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,040
Speaker 1: He had like a little sniffle in his nose and

141
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,760
Speaker 1: and he was like ringing the alarm. This is an emergency.

142
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,080
Speaker 1: Doctor didn't call him back. He calls again, it gets

143
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,760
Speaker 1: worse something whatever. Anyway, the doctor doesn't call him back.

144
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,280
Speaker 1: The gist of it is the doctor doesn't call him

145
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,840
Speaker 1: back on his schedule, so he fakes his own death

146
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,600
Speaker 1: and he writes he changes emails as a Ryan has died,

147
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,680
Speaker 1: please send flowers, you know. And so then this this

148
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,040
Speaker 1: doctor panics and like goes into like a like a

149
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,000
Speaker 1: trauma herself, cancels all her appointments for two days. She

150
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,200
Speaker 1: can't believe she let a patient die. It's all because

151
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,120
Speaker 1: of him. He wanted flowers. It's just flowers. He got

152
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,360
Speaker 1: an email from the from the entire health system, and

153
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,200
Speaker 1: I was told that this was not that long ago.

154
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,200
Speaker 1: How long this was like a year ago? Yeah, he's

155
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,840
Speaker 1: fully grown when he did this an adult, an adult

156
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 1: correct to marry, by the way, and the entire health

157
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 1: system that I could have died. And here I am

158
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,080
Speaker 1: today to tell the story. To me for for being

159
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,160
Speaker 1: so brave to be here today to tell that story.

160
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,959
Speaker 1: Can't take seriously. Meanwhile, that got around the hospital when

161
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,320
Speaker 1: you end in for your surgery, and they ended up

162
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,520
Speaker 1: giving you, like a first year medical student, to do

163
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:49,679
Speaker 1: your to do your action your operation. Physicians. The physicians

164
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,760
Speaker 1: don't particularly like me. And this happened again on the

165
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,400
Speaker 1: appendeck to me, and I'll tell you the quick story,

166
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,000
Speaker 1: which is in the e R. In the e R,

167
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 1: I'm in there for ten hours and I'm like, am

168
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,280
Speaker 1: My wife got there and she was like, look, he's

169
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,520
Speaker 1: been in here ten hours. Are you not you've determined

170
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,680
Speaker 1: he needs a surgery. When are we getting him into surgery?

171
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,360
Speaker 1: Are you worried that it's going to completely burst? And

172
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,360
Speaker 1: the nurse said, well, he already died. The nurse said.

173
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 1: The nurse said, well, actually, you know other patients that

174
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 1: I've had that have had their appendix bursts say that

175
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,400
Speaker 1: it actually relieves so much of the pressure and it

176
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,400
Speaker 1: feels better once it bursts, So it would be the

177
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,480
Speaker 1: worst thing in the world if it bursts. I'm sitting

178
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,839
Speaker 1: there on morphine, like, is this guy serious right now?

179
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,640
Speaker 1: So I had a follow up earlier this week with

180
00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: the surgeon. I said, look, this is not a reflection

181
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,360
Speaker 1: on you and the surgery you performed. I think you're

182
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,080
Speaker 1: your class act. I love you, but let's let's revisit

183
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,640
Speaker 1: the e R. Because the guy told me this, and

184
00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:49,840
Speaker 1: I don't have my medical degree, but there's something called

185
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:54,280
Speaker 1: sepsis which you are trying to avoid. And he acknowledged

186
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,280
Speaker 1: that I, while not having my medical degree, am smarter

187
00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:01,080
Speaker 1: than was dyslexic, and he got somebody brought you a PEPSI.

188
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:06,720
Speaker 1: We're happy you made it through that that life you

189
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,000
Speaker 1: you were shark diving. I believe I was hope hopeful

190
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,640
Speaker 1: that when I got here you at least lost a

191
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:15,720
Speaker 1: finger or maybe an arm. No, and I have my appendix,

192
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,440
Speaker 1: didn't lose that either. We need to wrap Ryan and

193
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,120
Speaker 1: bubble wrap. This guy is just like a walking disaster.

194
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,440
Speaker 1: I did go shark diving. They'll do his rad We

195
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,840
Speaker 1: went to Guadalupe Island with Andy cassa Grande, who is

196
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,320
Speaker 1: like the shark diving guru. Uh and go pro some

197
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,520
Speaker 1: of the Golden Big House. Yeah, he's just he's a

198
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,760
Speaker 1: stud man. This guy free dives with great white sharks.

199
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,760
Speaker 1: So we spent three days in the water. We were

200
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,560
Speaker 1: in cages, but he got out. What happened to him

201
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,320
Speaker 1: that made him so suicidal? He just he just loves

202
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 1: sharks man, just like, Yeah, he dives with them, just

203
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,600
Speaker 1: hanging out. Yeah. He and he's behind like almost all

204
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,680
Speaker 1: the content of Shark Week. So anybody that's seen Shark Week,

205
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,520
Speaker 1: him and his wife Emma are behind most of it. Um,

206
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,920
Speaker 1: he's been working with sharks for I think twenty two years,

207
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,240
Speaker 1: great whites. He dives all over the world with them,

208
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,240
Speaker 1: does a lot of awareness and protection and conservation for them.

209
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,640
Speaker 1: And we're able to dive with him with great white sharks,

210
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,199
Speaker 1: really did with bull sharks. Yeah, he'll do. Do you

211
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,280
Speaker 1: name it? He looks at them like their friends, like

212
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,840
Speaker 1: a quick question. Does he chum the water when he's

213
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,320
Speaker 1: before he jumps in? And oh yeah, yeah, so he's

214
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,680
Speaker 1: attracting him and then he's lying there. I'm not lying

215
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,680
Speaker 1: to you. I'm not lying to you. It was gnarly.

216
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 1: I think we saw because so they all have like

217
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,960
Speaker 1: not all of them, but there were fourteen different ones

218
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,120
Speaker 1: that were tagged or marked. He has a sonar thing

219
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 1: that goes down and different ones that swim within a

220
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:38,120
Speaker 1: kilometer paying a different thing or whatever. Anyway, Um, so

221
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,400
Speaker 1: I think we saw somewhere between twelve and fourteen separate ones.

222
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,000
Speaker 1: But we saw sharks every minute for three days. Does

223
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,280
Speaker 1: he have really bad teeth? And is that why the

224
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,880
Speaker 1: sharks don't mess with them? He has perfect all crooked

225
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: and get in and sharp. It's such a one of us.

226
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,800
Speaker 1: It's such a misunderstanding of what great whites are like.

227
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,240
Speaker 1: So what does he think? Does he say what attracts

228
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,400
Speaker 1: the sharks to devour you? Does he have an opinion

229
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:07,360
Speaker 1: on that? Uh, mistaken identity probably like they actually or curiosity.

230
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,360
Speaker 1: They might think you're a seal and mistake your identity.

231
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,160
Speaker 1: So what what is he attribute his survival in that

232
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,000
Speaker 1: environment too? Probably honestly, great question you'd have to ask him.

233
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,760
Speaker 1: I would bet that he's there. He just admits an

234
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,040
Speaker 1: energy of here. I'm here as a friend, a peaceful friend,

235
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 1: not an enemy. And also, some smarts no know what

236
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,640
Speaker 1: to look out for. No when a shark knowing their behavior,

237
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,719
Speaker 1: when a shark is looking for a meal, or when

238
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,640
Speaker 1: a shark is relactated. You know, I know when you

239
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 1: walk in, if you're looking for a meal, or if

240
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:38,520
Speaker 1: you're looking glass. He's always looking for a But it

241
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,559
Speaker 1: was awesome, It was awesome. And Rick, you just got

242
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,160
Speaker 1: an off gnarly adventure. You're in Alaska, right, Not as

243
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 1: good as these stories though, But yeah, I was just

244
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 1: in Alaska for ten days and we were going fishing

245
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,680
Speaker 1: and a little bit of hunting, not not too much hunting,

246
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,319
Speaker 1: but we were fishing for salmon and Halibut, and we're

247
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,600
Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere and a kind of in

248
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,760
Speaker 1: a cabin with ten other people. And it was awesome, awesome,

249
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,200
Speaker 1: no internet, no cell phones, no nothing, just a lot

250
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,439
Speaker 1: of downtime, a lot of hanging out, a lot of

251
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:08,000
Speaker 1: kind of self reflection. We were burning not lying about

252
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,439
Speaker 1: that cellphone thing, because I really wanted to text you,

253
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,280
Speaker 1: and I just kept seeing if you were online? Are

254
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:19,480
Speaker 1: you online? Are you online? Never? Ten days? Not one time? Everything, everything.

255
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:24,000
Speaker 1: I got a FaceTime. I got a FaceTime from By

256
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:31,080
Speaker 1: the way, what was the biggest salmon you caught? It's

257
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,200
Speaker 1: about twelve pounds pound silver salmon. Yeah, and our helibate

258
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,080
Speaker 1: was about thirty five. I mean they're not huge because

259
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,040
Speaker 1: June is the big helibate season up there in Alaska,

260
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,640
Speaker 1: and we were in August and so, um, we're kind

261
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 1: of going after the meat. But bald eagles we were,

262
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,360
Speaker 1: you know, we were out in the middle of nowhere

263
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,720
Speaker 1: pretty much and uh, we're burning stuff and shooting guns.

264
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,880
Speaker 1: You talk about like, how did you survive not having

265
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:57,760
Speaker 1: your cell phone for ten days? It's awesome just doing

266
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,719
Speaker 1: all honesty. It takes about forty hours sort of like

267
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,880
Speaker 1: get it out of your pocket, get it out of

268
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,080
Speaker 1: your like, finally put it in your room and turn

269
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,000
Speaker 1: have it off and just kind of you're walking around

270
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,000
Speaker 1: wandering like where's my phone? And then you're like, oh, wait,

271
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,200
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do with that? So it takes

272
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,040
Speaker 1: a couple of days amy actually to get rid of it.

273
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,200
Speaker 1: But once you I mean, there's so much work we're doing.

274
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,960
Speaker 1: We're we're gassing the boats, we're cleaning things, we're moving

275
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,320
Speaker 1: stuff around. And isn't there a moment where we're at

276
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,160
Speaker 1: there in the wilderness and you're thinking, Man, if something happens,

277
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 1: I hope I can look it up on the Internet

278
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,080
Speaker 1: of what I need to do to save myself. And

279
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,840
Speaker 1: there's no reception out here. No, So we do have radios,

280
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,480
Speaker 1: so Coast Guard radios in our house and on the boat,

281
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 1: so it's channel sixteen. So if we do you know,

282
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,960
Speaker 1: if there is an emergency or say someone does get

283
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,760
Speaker 1: attacked by bear or there's something that's really tragic going on,

284
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,800
Speaker 1: we can we can call made it. Can you call

285
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,520
Speaker 1: the Coast Guard and be like, hey, guys, how do

286
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,120
Speaker 1: you build to fire without matches? I'm stuck right now.

287
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 1: But it's not enough for you to send round version

288
00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 1: of what would that you go through that process? What

289
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 1: would guys, I forgot my stuff and the soy sauce

290
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,240
Speaker 1: for our salmon sushimi. What can you imagine if on

291
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:19,280
Speaker 1: that races like I ain't some girl named Amy really names?

292
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,440
Speaker 1: Do you have to clear something up here? Yeah? One

293
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 1: guy that was up there, and mind you, he was

294
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,080
Speaker 1: from another part of the world, and um, we we

295
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,440
Speaker 1: take you know, it's fun buddies that we know. And

296
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,840
Speaker 1: and there was a little bit of a problem. There

297
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 1: was a really high tide where we are. It's all

298
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,400
Speaker 1: title based and so there was a really high tide

299
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 1: and one of the cars we hadn't parked it. We

300
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,320
Speaker 1: launched the boats. We hadn't parked the car high enough.

301
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 1: So by the time we got home, it's a really

302
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,120
Speaker 1: weady day and and all the waves were up in

303
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,000
Speaker 1: the car was pretty much halfway under water. So the

304
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 1: one guy that whoever was in that boat at the

305
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 1: time sent back to the cabin, which is probably like

306
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 1: it's not very far from the from the water, you know,

307
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,320
Speaker 1: five yards. He's sprinting and he's not in Brooks like shape,

308
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 1: you know, let's just put it that way. He's in

309
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 1: gab and shipped so many people to the house and

310
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:11,560
Speaker 1: there's two guys are and he's like he was like lastie,

311
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:15,840
Speaker 1: he could what boy trouble like the old milk, Like

312
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:23,400
Speaker 1: there's underwater. There's not here underwater, and so it just yeah,

313
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 1: it was that classic Yeah, we're I'm light headed, right?

314
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 1: Who got a park that car up there? He's never

315
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,160
Speaker 1: working at the ivy Again, it's classic Dmitri. What's up

316
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 1: with you, dude? We've been grinding away. You and I

317
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 1: have been the two here work and holding the show

318
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 1: down and me and Easton. Yeah, you know, so I

319
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 1: feel like he deserves some of these guys. I didn't

320
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 1: have time to go on tour. I would have I

321
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,600
Speaker 1: didn't Alaska. Yeah, I certainly didn't have time to get

322
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 1: my appendix out. Actually, I thought Ryan and I had

323
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 1: blocked away some nice time together and then he pulled

324
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,800
Speaker 1: that stunt and so I was alone. So really, I've

325
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,320
Speaker 1: just been sitting here in the studio waiting for you

326
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 1: guys whole time. I've had nothing to do. Buddy and

327
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,199
Speaker 1: wet the scotch in the corner. Guess what, we have

328
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:12,400
Speaker 1: a treat coming up because we are all going to Vegas.

329
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 1: So we'll get you out. We'll put we'll put you

330
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,040
Speaker 1: front and center, and also you Gavin front and center.

331
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,720
Speaker 1: But Dmitri deserves a bay. But we are going to Vegas.

332
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,800
Speaker 1: You guys are my heart radio. What is it? I

333
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,520
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Music Festival tickets available now, boom. So we're

334
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 1: gonna go to Vegas. We're gonna enjoy ourselves. You're gonna

335
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,840
Speaker 1: have uh, we're gonna god a couple of podcasts from Vegas.

336
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,400
Speaker 1: And also I proposed this idea, go ahead, think you'll

337
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 1: like this one. I propose that we set up Amy

338
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,880
Speaker 1: Amy delightfully got us all sweets at the Bellaggio, right, Amy, right,

339
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,560
Speaker 1: that's what. So we got sweets. I did not. I

340
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 1: think we're all in one regular standard room queens anyway.

341
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,959
Speaker 1: But I propose that we do a podcast from the

342
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 1: pool at the log and can get an umbrella and

343
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 1: we just we just get to speed date girls to

344
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 1: set up you for a date. Terrible idea. Anybody walking

345
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,840
Speaker 1: by will be like, hey, do you want to sit

346
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,159
Speaker 1: down for thirty seconds a little speed date? And then

347
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 1: I'll be I'll enter like, well, I'll get like three

348
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 1: or four that we get to speed date and then

349
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 1: we'll select our favorite and then we'll we'll see if

350
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 1: it sounds like a good way to ruin lunch. Yeah,

351
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,240
Speaker 1: this is still working itself out. But some way you're

352
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,639
Speaker 1: doing some massive speed date. And when we're in Vegas, Buddy,

353
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 1: this is this is happening. This is cocktail hour. You

354
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,959
Speaker 1: just sit there and look pretty. We'll take your can

355
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 1: I borrow your makeup kit, your guideline. Okay, so more

356
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 1: of that. Two weeks we're in Vegas, which is gonna

357
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 1: be awesome. We'll get into more stuff in this show.

358
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about love after loss, very sensitive topic.

359
00:18:53,160 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: We're gonna get into it. After the break back from

360
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,639
Speaker 1: break we are. We have a special guest in house.

361
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 1: We want to talk about a I think, in culture,

362
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,160
Speaker 1: in society, a very sensitive topic. We want to talk

363
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:16,199
Speaker 1: about divorce and loss. We're going to talk about loss

364
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 1: as well, and we're going to talk about life after

365
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,919
Speaker 1: loss and happiness after loss. So we have a very

366
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 1: special guest. Let's welcome to the show. Mitch Messinger, thank

367
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 1: you and Dmitri. You were telling me earlier you have

368
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 1: a connection you went to school with so Mitch, uh,

369
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 1: how long did ago did you get married about five

370
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 1: months ago. Five months ago he married man. Congratulations, congratulations

371
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,119
Speaker 1: brother and his his wife and I went to college together,

372
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 1: and I'm from college at Emerson College in Boston. Yeah.

373
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: And and I remember seeing on her Facebook post she said,

374
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: you know, she announced that she met the most amazing

375
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 1: guy and she was so excited. And I remember I

376
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 1: said her a message and I said, it's fantastic, like,

377
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for you, and it's just it's so

378
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: funny that now now you're here because we never met before.

379
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,159
Speaker 1: But your story. I read New York Times that an

380
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: amazing UM article on on your story, your story and

381
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,959
Speaker 1: deb story and how you know things that had happened beforehand,

382
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 1: um and and how you guys met and it's truly

383
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: it's truly an amazing tale of finding love again after

384
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 1: you know, having lost and also and the deb had

385
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 1: been through a divorce. So so we'd love to hear

386
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: I'm sure people listening back home or in your vehicle.

387
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 1: There's many of our community. We've got so many questions

388
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 1: and emails from people listening about this question about life

389
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 1: after loss and life after divorce and is their happiness?

390
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 1: Is there a tale of happiness for them in their life.

391
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 1: So Mitch will just open it up to you. We'd

392
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 1: love to hear your story. We've heard it. But for

393
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,199
Speaker 1: the people listening at home that haven't, please bring us,

394
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 1: bring us the goods, because it's your version. Give yeah

395
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: somewhere any whatever you want to give less is more,

396
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: so I will kind of that. I think your story

397
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 1: is incredibly powerful, So whatever elements of it you want

398
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 1: to share, please do because we have many people in

399
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: our community that I'm sure this is going to help

400
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 1: to make a very, very long story short. I moved

401
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles about twenty six years ago, fresh out

402
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 1: of college from Syracuse University and Upstate New York. I

403
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: met the love of my life soon thereafter, she too

404
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,959
Speaker 1: had moved here from the East Coast to start at

405
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 1: law school. We dated for about two and a half

406
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 1: years after uh a pretty good courtship of young kids

407
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: in love here in Los Angeles since we were both

408
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 1: East Coast kids, and got married soon thereafter. We had

409
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 1: our child, Jillian about five years later, and then about

410
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 1: a year and a half after the birth of our

411
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: daughter Jillian, our world UH kind of collapsed and got

412
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 1: the word that my wife, Michelle was diagnosed with stage

413
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: one breast cancer. UM. We originally thought that we would

414
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 1: you know, nip it in the bud, as they say. UM.

415
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: We were able to do everything we could to make

416
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: sure that it didn't come back. But unfortunately, about two

417
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 1: years later it had returned. And for the next six

418
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: six and a half years she basically had um you know,

419
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: kind of fought the battle, uh, pretty successfully with medication,

420
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: constant doctor visits. But then the last year of her life,

421
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: things got really awry, as we say, and unfortunately it's

422
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: spread all over her body. Uh. And we did everything

423
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 1: again what we could to keep it at bay or

424
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: turn the tide that you know, she would still live

425
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: for a long time, as her doctor kept telling us. UM,

426
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: but she, the ever pessimist, me the ever optimist, UH

427
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: felt differently. Uh. And so unfortunately things got worse and

428
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 1: worse and worse, and unfortunately she did pass away five

429
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 1: years ago this past May. Our daughter Jillian was ten

430
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 1: at the time. And you know, it wasn't wasn't for

431
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: the faint of heart, so to speak. Unfortunately. Uh, it's

432
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: not something that they tell you, uh, you know, an

433
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: emmanual that someday, you know, your spouse let alone your

434
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,160
Speaker 1: young spouse would die of a disease like that. Um.

435
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: You know, we were pretty healthy, uh, you know again

436
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 1: young and had a whole life ahead of us. Unfortunately

437
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: that was not the case. And that's where the story

438
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,479
Speaker 1: you know, I guess began and ended with Michelle. Um.

439
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,959
Speaker 1: Obviously never ends with her. I still think of her

440
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: all the time, and my new wife deb knows that. Uh.

441
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: And obviously she is always and will always be Jillian's mother,

442
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 1: So that is you know, that doesn't change, um. But

443
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 1: that being said, then a new chapter began soon after

444
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 1: her passing, from the first year of mourning, trying to

445
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 1: get a sense of it all, try to figure out,

446
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: you know, what I needed to do now as a

447
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,959
Speaker 1: single father, not by choice as I like to call it,

448
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: um and just living life like you know, everything was

449
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 1: normal when it really wasn't. Um. But luckily we had

450
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: a great uh support group of family. Most family were

451
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: not in l A. They were back east, but they

452
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 1: you know, showered them or showered us with their love

453
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 1: to all of us to make sure that we were supported.

454
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 1: My parents actually sped up their retirement so to speak,

455
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 1: and and I ended up rather than doing the back

456
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: and forth thing between the East Coast and California, that

457
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: they would move to California permanently just to be closer

458
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: to us. UM, but also our friends who are like family.

459
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: We had so many friends that were really supportive of us,

460
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: those you know, dark weeks and months after Michelle's passing, UM,

461
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: and then about a year after she passed, I said

462
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: to myself, all right, I'm at a crossroads. Now do

463
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: I continue this single father uh life, or do I

464
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 1: see if that may be that there's love again And

465
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: kind of brushed myself off in my head and physically

466
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 1: is in my body as well, and decided that I would,

467
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,160
Speaker 1: you know, start seeing it might be out there now.

468
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: I wasn't. I'm not a millennial. I'm not a young

469
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: kid anymore. Unfortunately, even though I like to think I

470
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 1: am just on the cusp of it. Thank you, Thank you,

471
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: especially as I'm turning a big milestone next year. Hard

472
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 1: to believe. Um, yeah, thank you. Twenty thanks to you.

473
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: And so, you know, I said to myself, you know,

474
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: Michelle's never coming home. I know where she is. I

475
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: always joked that an hundred years I'll be in the

476
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: same place. Uh. But here I am, and I'm gonna

477
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: need to find if I'm gonna find love again, I

478
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: need to you know, take the boot by the straps,

479
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 1: I guess is that the right phrase? Uh, and kind

480
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 1: of find love again. And so I wasn't going to

481
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: do all of the you know again millennial thing of

482
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: you know, either going to bars or going on j

483
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: date and uh, those type of things. I'm gonna talk

484
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 1: to my friends and say, hey, do you know of

485
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 1: any buddy that might be in your world that could

486
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: be a good fit for me, That might be divorced,

487
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: might be widowed, I don't really care, Just someone or

488
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 1: maybe who was never married before, just you know, you

489
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 1: know me and these were friends obviously that I know

490
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 1: in a long time, not just new mutual friends, but

491
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: people who knew me a long time, knew Michelle as well,

492
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: and Jillian. You know, if you think there's a good fit,

493
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: then let's do it. So sure enough, you know, as

494
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: Michelle is probably laughing me as I tell you the

495
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: story right now, that you know, all the entas at

496
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: my daughter's elementary school at the time probably were like,

497
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: he's ready, and we're gonna We're gonna do what we

498
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: can to set you know, set them up and so

499
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: they went through their you know, virtual as well as

500
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: you know old fashioned rolodexes. You know, I'm sure most

501
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 1: of us know what rolodexes are, but exactly not quite

502
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 1: but you know, speaking yourself. And so basically, I, uh,

503
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 1: you know, started getting calls and texts of you know, emails,

504
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: uh saying that I have somebody you know in mind

505
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: for you. Here's her number, Why don't you give her

506
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 1: a call? So I did that for a little while. Um.

507
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 1: In the meantime, as some of you in this room

508
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: know that, I'm a publicist at ABC, and I was

509
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 1: at a talk show, uh with one of my actors

510
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: who was promoting one of her new shows. And one

511
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: of the guests that was on the talk show besides

512
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: the actress, was a woman talking about relationships and relationships

513
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: after death, and I thought this is interesting. So of

514
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,120
Speaker 1: course everyone said, talk to Mitch, talk to Mitch. So

515
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,159
Speaker 1: uh not on the show, but privately we spoke and

516
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 1: she said, you know, don't let anybody let you let

517
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 1: don't let anybody tell you when you're ready to start

518
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: dating again. And that also hit me like a ton

519
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: of bricks, saying, you know what, I'm gonna take it.

520
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: Actually on the reverse side, yes, no one can tell

521
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 1: me when I can start dating, But at the same token,

522
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 1: why not start now? Like again, I know where Michelle is.

523
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 1: I know we actually had conversations towards her before her

524
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: passing to say, you know, I want you to find

525
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 1: them again. And so that obviously something that also you know,

526
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: stuck with me this whole time. And sure enough I

527
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: started dating um and all the women that I dated

528
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 1: actually weren't bad. There was not maybe a connection I

529
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: had with deb when that relationship started, but everybody at

530
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: least was very you know, normal, I guess, especially in

531
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: this town. I heard horror stories over the years. That's

532
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: tough to do to find a group of people that

533
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: are all normal. So yeah, again, maybe there was not

534
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: a true love connection or like, oh there's something there,

535
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: but at least, you know, no one was crazy or otherwise.

536
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: And so then maybe a month or two after that,

537
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: I get a call from an old friend, someone who

538
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: I have known since I've been out here in l

539
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: A for you know, twenty plus years. He was also

540
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: from back eastern New Jersey where I grew up, and said,

541
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: you know, I have a I have someone that I

542
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: think might be a good fit for you. And I said,

543
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: tell me more, and he said, well, um, Glenn his

544
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: best friend from growing up. His wife Sharon has a

545
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 1: friend that she used to work with at the Family Channel,

546
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: uh years ago, would you consider it? And here are

547
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: all our particulars? And I said, again, sure, why not?

548
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: I have nothing to lose. And so he's like, let

549
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: me talk to Sharon. I'll get back to you, uh

550
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: in a couple of days, and we'll kind of go

551
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: from there. And so basically a couple of days went by,

552
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: and I still have it, and I probably show you

553
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: guys somewhere on my phone, but I have the email

554
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: that he said saying, here all the particulars of this

555
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: deb kaplan, Jacoby, would you be interested in here again

556
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: all of her her information and the one century thing

557
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: that he did say, and he's my age as well,

558
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: was you know, check her on Facebook and see if

559
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: you like, you know what you see, and if you do,

560
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: that's how you can connect, you know, probably connect with her,

561
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: or I'll get her cell number. And you said, I'm

562
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: still in my Space? Does she have a page there?

563
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: What's my space? And so then I called her and

564
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 1: that was uh two. That was like again about a

565
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: year after Michelle's passing, and it took a little while

566
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 1: to get our first date under you know, schedule, because

567
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: of our schedules. And again, she has kids, I have

568
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: a kid. Um, you know, she had some other things

569
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 1: that were going on in her life that she had

570
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: to kind of figure out before we went on our

571
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: first date. And we went on our first date in

572
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: March of Uh. To make a very long story short, Um,

573
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: I knew there was something there right away. I didn't

574
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: know if we were going to get married, but I

575
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: just knew that that it was very comfortable. As I

576
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: keep telling dev all the time. And uh, by the

577
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: next year, I said, you know what, I think this

578
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: is gonna be another thankfully permanent union. Uh, this is

579
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: gonna be my this is my next chapter. Wow, that's amazing. Man. First,

580
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: I want to I want to commend you. I want

581
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 1: to commend you and acknowledge you for having the courage

582
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: to come share that story. That is amazing. And I'm

583
00:30:55,320 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: blown away. Um, I'm just blown away. How sincere you are.

584
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: How and you can see the optimism in your face

585
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: when you tell the story, even something as tragic as that,

586
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 1: can I ask you how long you were married to Michelle,

587
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: we would have been married seventeen, almost seventeen years. Amazing,

588
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: So I wanted together twenty one. We I mean, we

589
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: had moved to l A pretty much the same time

590
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: for different reasons. We met soon thereafter and we've been

591
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: together ever since. So it was a long, good time.

592
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: I want to I don't want to think long as

593
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: bad I want. I just want to pay homage to

594
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: Shell and to that to being married seventeen years together

595
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: twenty one is amazing. I'm currently married just over two years.

596
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: I can't imagine finding out something that that my wife

597
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: has something a cancer or an illness that could possibly

598
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: be terminal. I cannot even begin to imagine what that

599
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: must feel like. So I just want to applaud you

600
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: for the courage to to tell us that story, share

601
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: that story, and for our listeners, and also to do

602
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: it with a smile on your face, in a way

603
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 1: that you look back at your entire time with her

604
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: with joy. That was a great that we had, and

605
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 1: unfortunately it was cut way shorter than we both thought.

606
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: And and I think of our daughter, you know, who

607
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: didn't have her. You know, I was only going to

608
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: have memories of her mother from her you know, from

609
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: ten years old and younger, which that's not fair either,

610
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 1: but again, you know, I'm a very optimistic person by nature,

611
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 1: so I just know that I had to do something

612
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: to make it, you know, keep her memory alive, and

613
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: to also know that, you know, I have to move forward.

614
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm still young. Even though I like to say, you

615
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: know earlier that big milestone is coming up, I'm still young.

616
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: I will say. I I from a first hint point,

617
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: I know your story in the sense of my brother

618
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: went through a very similar thing. Um. He got married

619
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: right after college with the love of his life. They

620
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: were married for a long time and UM, she they

621
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: had two small, two young girls, and she was pregnant

622
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: with twin boys, and she, uh, something happens. She suddenly

623
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: within a day, UM passed away and he was left

624
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: with the same type of situation, UM where he had

625
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: to find his find you know, how to move on.

626
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: And I think it's something when you have kids, you know,

627
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 1: because it's in our nature to want to just give

628
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: up at that point. But when you have a child,

629
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: I think it's you know, something that keeps you going.

630
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: And that's what kept him going. And I just want

631
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: to say. I'm not going to get into all that,

632
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 1: but what I will say is he too, um, found

633
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: love again and remarried and and I recognize your happiness

634
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 1: from from the same happiness that he has. So I

635
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: just want to say, like Brook said, I want to

636
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: say thank you for you know, sharing the story and stuff,

637
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 1: but I want to I want to congratulate you on

638
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: having that that look and having that happiness and finding

639
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: it again because I think it's important for you and

640
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: for your daughter. So thank you, Thank you. There's so

641
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: much in there, There's so much value in there. I

642
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: want to ask you one particular question. You had the

643
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: conversation with the lady after the TV show. What was

644
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: the lady's name? Do you remember that gave you the advice? Don't?

645
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,479
Speaker 1: Actually she was like a family therapist. Basic, Okay, So

646
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: that moment when she said to you that, um, what

647
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: was what was the exact commentation, just that don't let

648
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: anybody decide when you're ready to start dating it, because

649
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: that was the whole topic of her being on this

650
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 1: talk show. Again, not with me involved on the talk show,

651
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 1: but just you know, privately it said, you know, just

652
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 1: don't because you know, I Unfortunately, I have about four

653
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 1: or five other guy friends, all in my age group

654
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: that had lost their wives in my community. Um, and

655
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: so you know, they all started dating at different times.

656
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 1: Some dated right away, you know, you could either say

657
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: that's a good thing or a bad thing, and some people,

658
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: you know, d waited a lot longer. So it's it's

659
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: until you're in that situation, you really don't know what

660
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: you're gonna do. So how long after your you're after

661
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: Michelle's passing? Was that when you had this conversation just

662
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: about a just shy of a year, just shy of

663
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: a year. So until that point you sort of had

664
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: you'd been a father to Jillian, but you hadn't thought

665
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: about dating again or didn't want. I think I did,

666
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 1: but very superficially, just like you know, I'm young, I'm

667
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 1: at that time, I was forty four, forty five years old.

668
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: You know, I need have a whole lot of life

669
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: to live ahead, or you know, I need to live

670
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: my life and I would like it someone by my

671
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: side like I was hoping originally was to be with Michelle.

672
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: But obviously we can't change the change the past. So

673
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 1: how do you said that comment hits you immensely, So

674
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: what switched within you? And I'm asking this because I'm

675
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: sure a lot of our listeners. There's not a lot,

676
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: but some of them have gone through this where they've

677
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: loved and lost and maybe they're currently grieving. I'm sure everybody.

678
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: I don't have experience on this, so guys don't take

679
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:37,280
Speaker 1: my advice on this, but um, I'm sure everybody grieves differently,

680
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: grieves a different extended period of time. I to say,

681
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 1: it just like cancer, there's no one sure thing to

682
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 1: you know, treat it the same thing. You know, everyone

683
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: deals with it differently. And and for me, I just

684
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: knew when the time was right that I would, you know,

685
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: start dating again. Um hearing like I said what that

686
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: therapist on that talk show it said to me about

687
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: you know, not you know, letting anybody else make decisions

688
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 1: for you again, I just turned it on its head.

689
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: Not because I think she was trying to say, like

690
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: you can wait, like if you wait three years, four years,

691
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 1: that's okay. But for me, it was just a weird

692
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: feeling of turning it upside down, saying, you know, Michelle

693
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 1: is not coming home. It's not like, you know, we

694
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: got divorced, and she's at her parents house in New York,

695
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: and I'm praying that she'll come home to me and

696
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: Jillian again, I know where she is, and that's where

697
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,240
Speaker 1: you know she'll be for eternity. Did you feel any

698
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 1: pressure from your friends or your peer group or society

699
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 1: in general about when that time was right to date

700
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 1: or to start doing with you? With thinks? And also

701
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: I had that same may shoe, like when we first

702
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: you know, got engaged, when's the wedding and again first

703
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: marriage also not just the recent wedding with deb when

704
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a kid, so it's everyone wants to

705
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: rush you, you know, I think that's why life goes

706
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 1: so quickly. But that being said, no, actually everyone was

707
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 1: pretty pretty understanding because again maybe the first year was

708
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: like you know, because also you know, we in the

709
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 1: Jewish faith, we you know, commemorate the year passing by,

710
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: you know, unveiling the headstone of the deceased, So that

711
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: hadn't even happened yet. So I feel like that's like

712
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: the magic milestone marker literally that says, you know, now

713
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: it's been a year since the person has passed. How

714
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: did Jillian feel, you said, she was about ten, she

715
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: would have been eleven, but she would have been eleven. Yeah,

716
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: how did she feel? When did you have a conversation like, hey,

717
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,439
Speaker 1: I'm ready to start dating again. We talked a little

718
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: bit about it. Um. But also I did not introduce

719
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,959
Speaker 1: her even to deb when I kind of even knew

720
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: that things were going well for at least like six months.

721
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: It's in a relationship. At least did you tell her

722
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: about her? Um? I think a little bit. I think

723
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 1: I I, you know, my memories face fuzzy these days sometimes,

724
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,919
Speaker 1: but um, I think I kind of maybe just very

725
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: in general terms that you know, I always will love

726
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 1: mom me. You know that this, you know, unfortunately the

727
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,240
Speaker 1: situation has been presented to us not by choice, and

728
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: I need to, you know, maybe find somebody, you know,

729
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: to share my life with again like mom. And so

730
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: she was very you know, I have a pretty amazing

731
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: child are now children, but Chilian being my officially by blood,

732
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: you know, it's pretty biology. Um, she's pretty amazing overall.

733
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: So she doesn't surprise me that she was very accepting

734
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: and understanding what I was going through. It's funny how

735
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: the kids and that's in in situations like this, I

736
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: have for kids myself. It seems when when we think

737
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 1: we have to do everything for them, it's actually when

738
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: they kind of turn and and help take care of

739
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 1: us as well. And it sounds like that's something that

740
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: whether she knew it or not, she was kind of

741
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 1: she was kind of doing with you. I mean, we

742
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: we've I've always said also we've we've fed off each other,

743
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: like you know, again, it's the most horrible thing that

744
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 1: anybody should deal with. And you know, no one in

745
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: you know, in this room or anywhere else she have

746
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: to deal with the loss of someone at a you know,

747
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: a very young age, let alone, you know, from a

748
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 1: disease that you think, you know, they've had a handle

749
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: on for a long time. That being said, you know,

750
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: the fact that we were able to be positive about

751
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: it and not let it paralyze us, because I think

752
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: that's what it does to a lot of people, which

753
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 1: you know, that's not good for you, that's not good physically, mentally,

754
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: all the above. And so the fact that we were

755
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: able to somehow positively see you know, and and you know,

756
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: and Mommy would want us to you know, bond together

757
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: and see the world. Now the two of us, you know,

758
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: without her being there, and so let's do the best

759
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: we can with the situation. So so, Mitch, so how

760
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: do you do that currently with Jillian and um Deb? Like,

761
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 1: do you bring back some of those memories? Do you

762
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: have certain you know, times during you know, the year

763
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 1: that you talk about Michelle or how do you how

764
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: do you relate that? I guess, I mean we we

765
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: talk about Michelle. I mean I also said to a

766
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: lot of my friends, anybody who's gonna be with me?

767
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 1: And again this even before I met Deb, that's gonna

768
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: have to understand that Michelle was a big, like you

769
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 1: said twenty one year, you know, in part of my

770
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: life for so long that you know, I can't just

771
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: erase her. You know, it's not like divorce where you know,

772
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: you could probably say, yeah, you could might a one

773
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: a race that person, that horrible person that I used

774
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: to love and care for. But you know, and again,

775
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 1: she's Jillian's mom. I'm still obviously very close with her parents,

776
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: her brother, his family. Why wouldn't you know, Why wouldn't

777
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 1: I you know, want to make sure that you know,

778
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: I bring her up, I would say, on a regular basis,

779
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: But on a basis that is comfortable for all of

780
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 1: us because you know, there are a lot of great

781
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 1: memories that I have that I want to you know,

782
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: either share with deb or remind Jillian remember we did this.

783
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 1: And that's a actually good segue because um, I'm also

784
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 1: part of an organization called Family Lives On out of

785
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:54,360
Speaker 1: Philadelphia where they kind of take, um, uh what you

786
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 1: call it. I guess I make a wish on its

787
00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: head also by giving families that have lost a parent

788
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 1: into at a young age, uh, the wonderful tradition that

789
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: a family had done when the family was quote unquote whole.

790
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: And so they help keep a traditional alive even if

791
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 1: a mother or father has passed on. So for our case, um,

792
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: we used to do a lot of trips to San Francisco.

793
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: It was just we love the city and we'd go

794
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: for you know, long weekends, go for the holidays. And

795
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,959
Speaker 1: so they help get us up to San Francisco once

796
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: a year, uh, and we do a fun weekend just

797
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: Jilliana myself and do things that we had done as

798
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: a family before. Whether it's eating at a certain restaurant,

799
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: whether it's eating Garattelli chocolate, whether it's you know, going

800
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:42,240
Speaker 1: to Alcatraz, which is one of my favorite Jillian's favorite

801
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: attractions in San Francisco, and so so that and and

802
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: so Shena and Deb knows that that's something that Jillian

803
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: I do. We honor Michelle. Most of my friends and

804
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 1: family know. That's what we do every year, and we'll

805
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 1: do it until Jillian turns eighteen. Can you can you

806
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 1: mention that family lives on Where can people in our

807
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 1: community that are going through something of this find that,

808
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 1: because I think that's amazing. I've never heard of that.

809
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 1: But dot org basically and they have a great website

810
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 1: and you know, they have families from mostly on the

811
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 1: East coast. We're trying to make a presence because they

812
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: loved me so much they asked to be on the

813
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: on the board of directors now, so but trying to

814
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: make some more inroads in other parts of the country, pally.

815
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: And it's a great organization because you know, again, I've

816
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: actually another father who you know, their their tradition was

817
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 1: Disneyland every every you know, every year, and so the

818
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 1: organization helps him and his two daughters, you know, go

819
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 1: to Disneyland every year so that they can you know,

820
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: keep that tradition alive even with her their mom, his wife,

821
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 1: first wife, you know, uh, you know, not not around. Yeah,

822
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: Well you share a little bit because I obviously know

823
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 1: your story. Well, you share a little bit about Michelle's

824
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: parents because I find the way they are to be

825
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 1: so incredible. Was there a time when you and the

826
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 1: kids and Deb lived with them? Or am getting you're

827
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: you're mixing other things. Actually, what's so amazing by our story,

828
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 1: which I know we're what you're alluding to, so to speak,

829
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 1: is that we are extremely close with all four families, um,

830
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: all four families word our at our wedding. UM. So

831
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: that includes my parents, Deb's parents, uh, Deb's I guess

832
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,879
Speaker 1: first in laws laws, but first which is we're still

833
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: very close with his whole side of the family. UM.

834
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:31,439
Speaker 1: And then obviously my first in laws, Michelle's parents and

835
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: her brother and his whole family, my sister in law

836
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: and my two nephews. And so we actually lived with

837
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: as I call it, father in law adjacent because it's

838
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: again Deb's first father in law from her first marriage

839
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: who lives here in l A. And they had us

840
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: at their house the first two weeks after the Woolsey fire,

841
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 1: which ravaged Los Angeles and Interura Counties, and we live

842
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: in an area that was pretty hard hit. My street

843
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,479
Speaker 1: had ten homes before the fire. Now they're only three,

844
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: and we were one of the lucky three. To speak.

845
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 1: That's to some of them, I mean to me listening,

846
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: that sounds it's a story I haven't heard before like

847
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: that kind of connection, and especially with in laws or

848
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 1: actually in laws and whatever. But take all the labels away,

849
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 1: it's people helping people. Really well again, I look at

850
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: as again, Michelle's parents will always be like Michelle being

851
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:30,359
Speaker 1: Jillian's mom, will always be Jillian's grandparents, Jillian's and uncle,

852
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: her brother and my sister in law. Likewise, you know,

853
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: despite the divorce of Deb and her ex husband, you know,

854
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: we're really close with his family and there will always

855
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: be the grandparents of my bonus children, isn't we don't

856
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: we don't call X or step in our house. You

857
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 1: know that they will basically, you know, always be Sarah

858
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: and Josh my two bonus children's uh you know, grandparents

859
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: there and uncle, you know, cousins whatever. So it's important

860
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: that that relationship continues. I have a quick question for

861
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 1: you much so you mentioned towards the end before Um,

862
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: Michelle passed that that you had a conversation with her

863
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: where she gave you her blessing so to speak, that

864
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: she wanted you to be happy. What what was that conversation? Like,

865
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: did she initiate it? Were you? Did you feel compelled

866
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: to tell her no, I I I don't want to

867
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: be with anyone but you, and out of fear, you know,

868
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: Like on the one hand, she she's saying, I want

869
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 1: this for you and and but do you feel a

870
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: sense of guilt by saying, okay, I will heed your advice.

871
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: I still remember, very vividly and without trying not to

872
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 1: get emotional. We had it in our kitchen and our

873
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,439
Speaker 1: old house. Again, it was probably four or five months

874
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,760
Speaker 1: before she passed, So things were bad, but not really

875
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 1: bad just yet. So she was still you know, kind

876
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: of normal, so to speak. UM. And she brought it

877
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: up because I think she like she knew this was

878
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 1: not going to end well. She always felt like, even

879
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: even though with stage one all those years ago, that

880
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: she knew that it would never you know, never uh

881
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 1: you know, end well, even though we caught it early

882
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: at the first the first time. UM. And so she

883
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: you know, had that conversation. I never thought of saying,

884
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: you know, uh, you know, I'll never be with anybody

885
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 1: but you. I said to her, You're going to be great.

886
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: You know you're gonna fight this. She was a fighter,

887
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: She was a New Yorker, she was a lawyer, like

888
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 1: she had in every ounce in her body to you know,

889
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 1: fight this as she had fought for all those years before. Um.

890
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 1: So it was never you know, you know, I don't

891
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 1: want to get remarried. It was more like, I'm not

892
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: gonna get remarried because You're going to be here, you know,

893
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 1: that's the thing. But I'm thrilled, you know, thrilled, I

894
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 1: guess that's the right word to use. But I'm very

895
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 1: happy that we had that conversation. And I was just

896
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: talking to another friend who knows my story that I've

897
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: worked with for many years, and I said the same thing, like,

898
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 1: God forbid anybody's in that situation, but you might want

899
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 1: to have that conversation in the best of times, just

900
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: because I think I still could have moved on, but

901
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 1: having that conversation it felt a lot better. I think

902
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: I think when someone loves you deeply like she loved you,

903
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: she also knew that it was important for her to

904
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 1: free you. Yes, absolutely and that and for her to

905
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: do that while she was still cognizant enough to have

906
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: that conversation and to be emotionally there and not desperate,

907
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 1: not in a desperate place to tell you things that

908
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: you wouldn't necessarily believe in the desperate moment, but rather

909
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: her tell you it in coming from a place of

910
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:36,240
Speaker 1: of from a healthier place. You know, she was obviously

911
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 1: a very smart woman. I like smart women in my life.

912
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 1: But no, but it's true because she also she probably

913
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: had a grand plan. She never divulged with me, but

914
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 1: that last year she was even making sure that Julian

915
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 1: and I did things just the two of us together,

916
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: and she wanted to make sure that, you know, our

917
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: new life would be it would be okay. And also

918
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,760
Speaker 1: if she if she you know, she she had that strength.

919
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: And and let's not forget some people that are much

920
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: sicker than they seem to be. And a lot of

921
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 1: people have great composure when they're ill and they're holding

922
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 1: it in because they're trying not to show you how

923
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 1: ill they are. So perhaps even in the kitchen at

924
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: that time, she was much more ill than she was

925
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: letting on. That's why she was having that conversation. She

926
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: could feel things going wrong in her body. She was

927
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 1: very you know exactly, and she was she was she

928
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 1: was knowing, knowing these things that we couldn't we couldn't

929
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: see because they were masking them so well. You know

930
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: a lot of times people are ill and they're masking

931
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: them really quite well. When when my mother was ill,

932
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,399
Speaker 1: h with pancreatic cancer, and she she didn't make it

933
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 1: um you know, she was she really masked it very well,

934
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,959
Speaker 1: you know, as long as she could. Well, she doesn't

935
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 1: want to you know, upset exactly, but she she she

936
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: would have these conversations and my father told me they

937
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 1: would have these conversations about you know, uh, you know

938
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,760
Speaker 1: when I go, there's no reason that you should be lonely.

939
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be lonely. A lot of

940
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 1: people it's very hard and I get that. But at

941
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:09,479
Speaker 1: the same token, like I said earlier, they're not coming home,

942
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: so you know, there it's not there's no chance of

943
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: it changing. If I could, you know, get a magic

944
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 1: one and say poof, you're back, you know, it's back

945
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 1: to the old way, I would that's do it in

946
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,439
Speaker 1: a new York minute, as we say, but obviously that's

947
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 1: not possible. Absolutely, it's important. I mean, it's it's amazing

948
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,360
Speaker 1: that they take that upon themselves to free you in

949
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 1: that moment. They really take that out of love, they

950
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: free Absolutely, I've got a lot to think about because

951
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 1: I had originally told my wife if anything happened to me,

952
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: under no circumstances, am I to be replaced? Could not

953
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 1: be replaced. There's only one Dmitri brother. I want to

954
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:46,439
Speaker 1: thank you for sharing that. I want to get more

955
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: into uh, progressing to now dating again with damp and

956
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: how that the emotions of things you went through when

957
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,879
Speaker 1: that started. But first we gotta take a quick break.

958
00:49:54,920 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: But will you stick around with budget? We got these

959
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 1: new two's back from break and we have Mitch Messinger

960
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 1: with us, who has just told an exceptional story. Your

961
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 1: life is amazing has been. I am just absolutely blown

962
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: away receiving your thoughts and comments and your story. Uh,

963
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: and looking around the room here all the guys were

964
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 1: looking at each other in the eyes like, Wow, this

965
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,280
Speaker 1: is powerful, this conversation that's going on. So you loved

966
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 1: and lost married for seventeen years together with twenty one

967
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 1: one with Michelle. You have Jillian, she's ten years old.

968
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: When Michelle passes away, it takes you about a year

969
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: and then you have a conversation that sort of kick

970
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: starts you into Okay, I think I might be ready

971
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: to start dating again. I have a lot of life

972
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 1: ahead of me and I want to live that happily.

973
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 1: You've had a conversation with Michelle about this possibly coming

974
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 1: in your life. UM, take us through that process now

975
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: when you're ready to start dating. So you had a

976
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 1: couple of dates and then your friend Glenn was at

977
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 1: Glenn no Ira, but Glenn was his best friend and

978
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 1: you get shot out to them. Also, I was connected

979
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 1: through a friend with my wife, So I know what

980
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 1: it's like to just owe that man everything for connecting

981
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 1: me with the love of my life. Uh, Teddy sears

982
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: Teddy shout out to you. Um, but what was it like?

983
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 1: Take me through your process, um, when you're like, Okay,

984
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to go on a date with deb and

985
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: then what does it start? What goes through your body

986
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 1: and soul when you start to feel that there might

987
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: be another romantic connection with a different soul than Michelle.

988
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: It's hard to put into words. I just feel like,

989
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: you know, you just knew, like there's just something came

990
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: over me that again, just felt very comfortable. Again, didn't

991
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 1: know for sure that you know, we'd have a future together,

992
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 1: but just that first dinner at sushi, Uh, was just

993
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: like wow, like I could be myself. I didn't have

994
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,439
Speaker 1: to and I'm not a type of person who either

995
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 1: likes to show off or be someone who I'm not.

996
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,479
Speaker 1: But in the same token, I could just talk about

997
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: anything and you know, and she seemed to like what

998
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 1: I had to say. And that have to, you know again,

999
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 1: show off to someone who I just met five minutes ago.

1000
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: Were you conflicted? Were you like, yes, Like what was there?

1001
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 1: An internal struggle? Was an internal struggle in that, oh,

1002
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 1: I have to now kind of open myself up to

1003
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: somebody else of things that only Michelle might have known

1004
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 1: about me. Uh, nothing too salacious, but you know, but

1005
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 1: still yeah, but you know, it's just something that I

1006
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 1: was like, Oh, we have to kind of go through

1007
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 1: those motions again, and you know, will she even care

1008
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: that I say something that I like or dislike or

1009
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: something that I you know, happen at work or something

1010
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 1: happened with my parents or whatever. It's just stuff that

1011
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: was very comfortable obviously being with Michelle for twenty one years.

1012
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna have to do that all over again.

1013
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? You know? I was like, how

1014
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 1: did I deserve this? But again brushed myself off, you know,

1015
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 1: physically and mentally, and just said, got to do it now.

1016
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 1: I try to be, you know, mindful of what I

1017
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 1: was talking about, especially that first date. I don't want

1018
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 1: to make it all about Michelle because that wouldn't go

1019
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 1: very well. So I had to be mindful of that,

1020
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 1: uh conversation, But the same token, I did what I

1021
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 1: had to do to show who I was right off

1022
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 1: the bat, and I think I did pretty well. Question

1023
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 1: for you, You've touched on it, You've mentioned it a

1024
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 1: couple of times, and on this show we always try

1025
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 1: and give our listeners tangible things to apply to positively

1026
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: impact their life. And you've said, brush myself off mentally

1027
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: and physically. Can you expand on that with any specifics

1028
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 1: for anybody listening that's maybe going through Just No, you

1029
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 1: need to move forward, you know, it's just the the

1030
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 1: action of moving forward. Yes, you had a horrible thing

1031
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 1: happened to you. You know, you can't imagine your life

1032
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 1: without X person in my case Michelle, but you need

1033
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 1: to to move on. You need not forget, but you

1034
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 1: need to move on. And brushing yourself off as like

1035
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 1: being I would say dirty because that connotates a negative connotation,

1036
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:11,439
Speaker 1: but you know, just kind of just be able to

1037
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 1: know that I need to find love again and I

1038
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 1: need to do everything I can to be in a

1039
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: positive space as opposed to a negative space. Mitch, I

1040
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 1: think Brooks meant when with the physical question, he wanted

1041
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 1: to know do you do box jumps because he's looking

1042
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 1: for a few What was your work that's on that

1043
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 1: frantic you know? But and and even just having I

1044
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,320
Speaker 1: just put popped in my head. I just also remember

1045
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,759
Speaker 1: one of my other very close friends and I still

1046
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 1: also have it in my phone a call he left

1047
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,839
Speaker 1: or more voicemail message of knowing he knew that I

1048
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: was going on my first date, not with deb but

1049
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: this was when I went on my very very first

1050
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 1: date after Michelle, and I still have it on my phone. UM,

1051
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: and he kind of gave me a pep talk is saying,

1052
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: you know we loved Michelle. You love Michelle. I love Michelle.

1053
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: You know you need to you know you can do this,

1054
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,759
Speaker 1: basically giving me the you know, the you know, the

1055
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 1: let's do this mantra. Uh. That's even though you know

1056
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 1: obviously it would be very hard for me. It sounds

1057
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: like you have such a great support system from family

1058
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,919
Speaker 1: through friends, and I think I think that's pretty great

1059
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of us might think something

1060
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: like that. But the fact that your buddy called and

1061
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: left you that voicemail, I think that's pretty cool. And

1062
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,359
Speaker 1: I think that's it's nice that you're surrounded by those

1063
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: types of people because I think a lot of us

1064
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,800
Speaker 1: may think nice things, oh, you know, my buddy is

1065
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:38,359
Speaker 1: doing this, But when you have people, I think it's

1066
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: something we can all keep in mind. When you have

1067
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: people near you that that supports you like that and

1068
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 1: and outwardly do it, I think it goes a long way.

1069
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 1: And I think you obviously can attest to that. Yeah, well,

1070
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, I've been very good to

1071
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 1: a lot of people, and you know I got it

1072
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 1: in return. You know, I'm a good person at heart, um,

1073
00:55:55,800 --> 00:56:00,359
Speaker 1: and so thankfully it was repaid to me in time

1074
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 1: of need. Basically, so things start going well with deb

1075
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 1: You're you feel some sort of intrigue and connection on

1076
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:09,799
Speaker 1: a greater level than any of the previous states you've

1077
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 1: been on. Um take us through the pace if you

1078
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:15,919
Speaker 1: if you don't mind sharing, but like does it? Did

1079
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:20,360
Speaker 1: it all the details? But that's a different show together

1080
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 1: to this is how often were you working at the

1081
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 1: most what was sort of the tempo of the relationship

1082
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 1: where you hesitant to progress romantically and physically? Did you

1083
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 1: take it slow? Where you where you know, like this

1084
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 1: is a new relationship where you right in and and

1085
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: but with with with some you know, I would say reservations.

1086
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 1: That's not the right word to use, but that seemed negative,

1087
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,799
Speaker 1: to just take take take your time, you know, be

1088
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 1: all in, but take your time and deb understood. You know.

1089
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: That was another, thankfully, a thing that I think helped

1090
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: us because I didn't bring up the story earlier. But

1091
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 1: her mother in law, our first mother in law, not

1092
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 1: my mom, had actually passed away from cancer years ago,

1093
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 1: and so she was so close with her, and I

1094
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 1: think she understood seeing what her father in law had

1095
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 1: gone through, what I was had gone through and maybe

1096
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 1: would continue to go through for those first you know,

1097
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 1: A couple of years after Michelle passed away, so that

1098
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 1: I think helped her understand, you know, what I was

1099
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 1: going through. And if not that, I like put the

1100
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 1: brakes on, Oh we shouldn't date right now, or let's

1101
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 1: you know, I'll call you in a month. And I

1102
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 1: never did any of that because obviously there was definitely

1103
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: interest and I was like, oh this is again something good. Um.

1104
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: It was just just you know, just let me just

1105
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 1: let me beat to the you know, the drum or

1106
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: the pace that I was okay with you, which wasn't

1107
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 1: that slow or that fast. It was just kind of

1108
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit slower than a normal courtship, you know,

1109
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 1: because again I had this story behind me. We I

1110
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: think we just uh so you know much. We've found

1111
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: out a few weeks ago that Brooks is into sucking toes,

1112
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 1: so he's trying to get at at what is it

1113
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 1: day three that you But let's just move on, Brooks.

1114
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: This is a weird thing of yours. Let's move on. Okay.

1115
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like there's a boxing mask

1116
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 1: going on here. Like every once in a while Ryan

1117
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 1: just comes out swinging it. Brooke. He's just mad that

1118
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: I have one more appendix than he has. Um, So

1119
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 1: I I listening to you speak there. I once had

1120
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 1: a friend, UH tell me that he praised for me.

1121
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 1: This is actually when my career ended, my hockey career ended.

1122
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: That he said he praised for me that I lift

1123
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 1: my anchor and let my boat go with the current.

1124
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 1: And I thought it was so profound. He's like, I

1125
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 1: pray for you that you just give up control and

1126
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 1: you lift your anchor and you go with the current

1127
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 1: with where life is supposed to take you. Was that

1128
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 1: sort of your mindset in this It sounds when you

1129
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: said that it resonated with me that that was I

1130
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: don't know where this is going. I don't know the temple.

1131
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 1: I kind of don't know what I'm doing, but I

1132
00:58:56,640 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 1: know that i'm supposed to. I'm gravitating towards this relationship,

1133
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: but I'm just moving at the flow that feels comfortable.

1134
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: That's very well said. Yeah, absolutely, because again I didn't

1135
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 1: know what the future would bring. Even say it didn't

1136
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 1: work out with deb and I would have to find

1137
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 1: somebody else, you know, to date again, or you know,

1138
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: date somebody new. So however it goes, it will go.

1139
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 1: You know, at what point did you know? At what

1140
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 1: point were you like, yes, I mean this is my

1141
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 1: personally about a year a year, about a year once

1142
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 1: again knew the kids. You know, we again we waited

1143
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 1: for all the kids to meet either me, her kids

1144
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 1: or Jillian meet my, meet Deb. Um. And so that

1145
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,320
Speaker 1: was six seven months into the relationship. And then you know,

1146
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 1: a few more months and just making sure that you know,

1147
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 1: maybe all the teaser crossed and the eyes are dotted,

1148
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 1: so to speak. Um, And then you know, then it

1149
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I think this is something again, something good,

1150
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 1: and I think it's gonna be a permit thing. And

1151
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: did that meeting with the with the kids, did that

1152
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 1: go well from the start or yeah, actually it did.

1153
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: We Actually we had a little buffer because we had

1154
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: Deb's first in laws with us. You said, she used

1155
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,560
Speaker 1: to work for ABC Family or when's this movie come?

1156
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 1: Was an ABC family back then? Just the Family channel

1157
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,479
Speaker 1: back that's okay. Still they can still do the movie

1158
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 1: or they could. Yeah that this is fantastic. Yeah no,

1159
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 1: but yeah, so you know, with with her father in

1160
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:26,600
Speaker 1: law and now his new wife because again as I

1161
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 1: mentioned her father, her mother in law had passed away

1162
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: years ago. Um, that you know, it was buffer in

1163
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: that if it didn't go well with the kids, then

1164
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 1: the kids, least her kids would have their grandparents there

1165
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 1: and likewise, if you know, or likewise, Jillian, I was there,

1166
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 1: so to speak, even though obviously there was nobody else

1167
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 1: in our side of the family there, and then if

1168
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 1: it went well, then all the better. And that was

1169
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 1: a great rate way to cement even my relationship or

1170
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 1: Jilian's relationship with her uh first in laws. Did you

1171
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 1: ever have to fight the father in law over who

1172
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 1: gets to sleep on the couch? Okay, I just want

1173
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 1: to We had plenty of events in our house. Damn,

1174
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:11,120
Speaker 1: he's already on my couch. I love the questions. You

1175
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: know you're on my couch. I have a good question. Um,

1176
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: with all the family support that you have, and it

1177
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 1: sounds fantastic, and even the Cohen laws or whatever you

1178
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:25,800
Speaker 1: want to call and the adjacent in laws, did you

1179
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 1: ever others seek any additional UM, therapy, advice, counsel whatever,

1180
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, outside of that, even especially for

1181
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 1: your daughter. Yeah, you know, and again we just I

1182
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 1: just talked about this with a friend of mine who

1183
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 1: asked me the same question. I hadn't seen in a while.

1184
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 1: Luckily we didn't. I mean, it was always in the

1185
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:45,919
Speaker 1: back of my mind. It was always something that I knew.

1186
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 1: Thankfully I have the resources to do, but at the

1187
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 1: same token, I didn't feel like I needed it, even

1188
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,560
Speaker 1: though my parents gave me a little bit of an

1189
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 1: intervention those first few months after Michelle passed away at dinner, saying,

1190
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 1: you know, you should really consider this, and I said,

1191
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 1: but I don't feel like I need to. If I

1192
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:04,960
Speaker 1: feel like I need to, I'm not you know, ashamed

1193
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: or too you know, not too uh scared to to

1194
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:11,439
Speaker 1: seek help, because I had done that years ago when

1195
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 1: the earthquake here in l A hit after I first

1196
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: moved to l A in n So I'm not afraid

1197
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 1: of that. But I felt like I didn't need it,

1198
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:22,680
Speaker 1: and likewise to stay for Jillian, she was thankfully very

1199
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: you know, in a good space so to speak. You know,

1200
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 1: she had her family, you know me, she had her grandparents,

1201
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 1: herunds and uncle's cousins, all of our friends who were

1202
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 1: like family. She you know, is has a lot of

1203
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,040
Speaker 1: friends at school. She's an athlete, she has her so

1204
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 1: you know, had her softball team at that time. So

1205
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 1: she was able to you know, use other resources as

1206
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,440
Speaker 1: almost therapy, as opposed to going to a traditional therapist,

1207
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:45,960
Speaker 1: and I felt the same way. For me, I have,

1208
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 1: thankfully a lot of friends, and you know, they could

1209
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 1: you know, I guess I have to just having having

1210
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 1: people help you navigate through those tough times. And I

1211
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,560
Speaker 1: still talked to to Jillian every once in a while,

1212
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 1: you know, do you need you know, do you want

1213
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 1: to talk to somebody? And you really it's no, I'm okay,

1214
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 1: but dad, I'll let you know if I am. Yeah,

1215
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 1: And maybe that will they change in a few years

1216
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 1: or you know, you know, some people have said, you know,

1217
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 1: Jillian might not really process this all until she's in

1218
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: her twenties, you know, right, but right, you know, but

1219
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,919
Speaker 1: right now, thankfully she's in a really good space. She's

1220
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,640
Speaker 1: an excellent student, an athlete. And you know, it was

1221
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 1: two years away from considering college, you know, or two

1222
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 1: years from her senior year of high school. So are

1223
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 1: you talking about colleges? Yeah, that's great. So how long

1224
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 1: into dating, Debb, did you get engaged? Uh? So? Our

1225
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 1: first date was March uh And I remember that because

1226
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 1: again it was in that article in the New York Times.

1227
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 1: I knew here, if you learn a lot from this guy.

1228
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:50,400
Speaker 1: Guy Again, I've been hard on you. I just missed it.

1229
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 1: It's okay, haven't you? So yeah, so so March. So

1230
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 1: about let's see three years, because we got engaged March

1231
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: of so, just shy of three, and then married almost

1232
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: a little over a year after that March of this

1233
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 1: this year, so four years from dating that first first

1234
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 1: those on the anniversary of your first date. We did

1235
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:22,800
Speaker 1: it chance. You know, you're same month, same month, same month,

1236
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: And actually that's why we also got married in March.

1237
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:27,200
Speaker 1: We we liked the number three. Really, deb likes the

1238
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 1: number three more than I do. Um, but I also

1239
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 1: appreciate the number three a lot um, And so we

1240
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 1: made sure that our first you know, if our first

1241
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:37,959
Speaker 1: date was in March, then our engagement will be March,

1242
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:40,400
Speaker 1: and our wedding will be in right. And how long

1243
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 1: you've been married now five months and three days something

1244
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 1: like that. Uh, your story is incredible. Man. You're a

1245
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 1: man of grace and poison, composure and optimism, and you're

1246
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:56,760
Speaker 1: just a guiding light for It's been impressive for myself

1247
01:04:56,800 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 1: to hear and for certainly our community, uh, for anybody

1248
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 1: going through what I want to ask you two things. First,

1249
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,320
Speaker 1: where can people find you? Can people reach out to you.

1250
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 1: Do you engage with people going through a similar thing? Um,

1251
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 1: do you have can people find you on social media?

1252
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:14,520
Speaker 1: Or or do you not want to share that? No,

1253
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:16,360
Speaker 1: I mean if people want to reach out, I feel

1254
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:19,080
Speaker 1: like maybe reach out to you guys can come through

1255
01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:22,200
Speaker 1: me because given my line of work, I mean, I

1256
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,479
Speaker 1: guess you could probably find out where I work because

1257
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:26,880
Speaker 1: if you just google it, so it's not too difficult.

1258
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 1: Man that I heart radio dot com. You can reach

1259
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 1: out to us and then we can connect you with Mitch. Uh.

1260
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:34,640
Speaker 1: And then lastly, I'd love to give just open up

1261
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: to you to give anybody, Uh, just an open mic

1262
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 1: to to you too, say to people listening to them,

1263
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:46,280
Speaker 1: have maybe loved and lost or I just want you

1264
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:49,280
Speaker 1: to have a whatever you want to share with people

1265
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 1: based on your experience, a lasting memory or lasting thought

1266
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 1: that you think can really positively help the community. Just

1267
01:05:56,480 --> 01:06:00,360
Speaker 1: don't let uh, you know, a horrible tragedy no matter

1268
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 1: what it is, UH, paralyze you and know that you

1269
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 1: know they there's a good chance that you will find

1270
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:12,440
Speaker 1: love again and just find the positivity uh in it

1271
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:15,960
Speaker 1: all being an optimist and uh, you know, I think

1272
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 1: good things will happen to you eventually and you know

1273
01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 1: it might take some time. Luckily for me it happened

1274
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:24,439
Speaker 1: pretty quickly, but you know it will happen, and and

1275
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: think that on a regular basis, it will definitely help

1276
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 1: you in the long run. Amazing, man, amazing what I

1277
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:32,720
Speaker 1: what I I just met you as we did this podcast.

1278
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,200
Speaker 1: But what I take from you is that I believe

1279
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 1: you put so much good out into the world that

1280
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:43,320
Speaker 1: then goodness greatness I tried to return to you probably tenfold. Um.

1281
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for coming on, Mitch, your courage,

1282
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 1: for sharing your story. Thank you very much. You are

1283
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 1: a hero man. It's it's it's been a blessing having

1284
01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:55,280
Speaker 1: you in here. Thank you, thank you. We'll be back

1285
01:06:55,280 --> 01:07:06,280
Speaker 1: from break. This is how men think. And I'm Brooks

1286
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 1: and I just want to say that was powerful stuff

1287
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: from Mitch. That was man. It's it's you know what.

1288
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: I think you said it best when you told him

1289
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:17,000
Speaker 1: he was an inspiration to see because, like I mentioned earlier,

1290
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:19,480
Speaker 1: I do have a firsthand connection with something like that.

1291
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:22,800
Speaker 1: And to see people, you know, be able to pick

1292
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 1: up and move on with their life, I think that's

1293
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:26,840
Speaker 1: got to be the most difficult thing and it was.

1294
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:30,240
Speaker 1: It was really nice to hear his story and see

1295
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 1: how he's rebounded from that tragedy. Yeah, and turned and

1296
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 1: turned it into a positive. I mean, you heard him

1297
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,040
Speaker 1: say he's an optimist, so in eternal optimists. But I

1298
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 1: believe in in the course of a life, in anybody's life,

1299
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:46,720
Speaker 1: there's three to four, like real defining moments in your life,

1300
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:50,480
Speaker 1: and look for him, loss was one of them. And

1301
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 1: that's a tragedy I wouldn't wish on anybody. But how

1302
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:55,600
Speaker 1: you respond to these certain moments in your life is

1303
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 1: going to dictate the quality of the rest of your life.

1304
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,360
Speaker 1: And I mean he could have went down a totally

1305
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:03,040
Speaker 1: different path. I'm sure some people do, maybe turn to

1306
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 1: some sort of substance abuse or depression or blame or

1307
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:10,160
Speaker 1: anger or something, but he turned that into a positive

1308
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:13,480
Speaker 1: found another love is the happiest way. He walked in

1309
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 1: here with a huge smile, incredibly happy guy. What an

1310
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:20,160
Speaker 1: inspirational story. And that's and what I hope from this,

1311
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:23,559
Speaker 1: I mean is that people listening people to think or

1312
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 1: in a similar situation or anything and feel like I'm

1313
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,800
Speaker 1: not going to find love. I'm not going to It

1314
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:32,360
Speaker 1: can happen, man, even from the darkest moments. Clearly we've

1315
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 1: seen that you can find love again, you can find

1316
01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 1: that that partner or that support that you need in life.

1317
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 1: And I think the important thing is to hear things

1318
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 1: like this and know that that's Mitch would happened. Mitch

1319
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:43,720
Speaker 1: can happen to anybody, and I think you've got to

1320
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:46,400
Speaker 1: keep that in mind. Yeah, just wow, I just want

1321
01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 1: to I'm blown away. Sometimes we have amazing people come

1322
01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:51,680
Speaker 1: in here that just absolutely blow us away and make

1323
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 1: me just realize how grateful I am to be on

1324
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:57,280
Speaker 1: this podcast. So we also have a question here from

1325
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,840
Speaker 1: a listener on a very similar topic. On the same topic.

1326
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:04,400
Speaker 1: This is from Chelsea, and she wants to know about

1327
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:07,679
Speaker 1: dating after a family loss. So she said, my sister

1328
01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:11,760
Speaker 1: passed away from breast cancer in April. I've found that

1329
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,120
Speaker 1: while I would like to keep first date's light and fun,

1330
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:17,120
Speaker 1: somehow it comes up and it's a total downer. She

1331
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:18,679
Speaker 1: was a huge part of my life, so I feel

1332
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:20,840
Speaker 1: like memories come up and I talk about her. So

1333
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 1: when how do I bring this up on dates without

1334
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:26,800
Speaker 1: ruining it? It's a great question. That is a great question.

1335
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 1: I think that's a it's obviously a tough situation because

1336
01:09:29,520 --> 01:09:32,080
Speaker 1: she's trying to put on a game face for whoever

1337
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 1: that person is sitting across the table. But I mean, listen,

1338
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,599
Speaker 1: you're in a you're in a tough spot. She'll see

1339
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,280
Speaker 1: you you feel a certain way, and I think this

1340
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:42,720
Speaker 1: is my opinion, I think you need to just kind

1341
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 1: of navigate that, like, don't don't try and be something

1342
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:48,400
Speaker 1: for somebody else right now, Be something, Be what you

1343
01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:51,160
Speaker 1: need for yourself. And if someone will be sitting across

1344
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:53,040
Speaker 1: that table or wherever it is you are on that date,

1345
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:56,479
Speaker 1: and they'll understand, and they'll you know, and they'll talk

1346
01:09:56,479 --> 01:09:58,040
Speaker 1: to you about it, and they'll know that you're that

1347
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:01,040
Speaker 1: you're hurting, or that you've you're actually fine, ding to

1348
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:04,040
Speaker 1: feel good in talking about memories of your sister. Yeah,

1349
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:06,920
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this. And if if I'm Chelsea, right,

1350
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,720
Speaker 1: so I'm on a first date, I'm Chelsea. What do

1351
01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:12,280
Speaker 1: you do on first dates? Usually you'll ask a person

1352
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:14,960
Speaker 1: like do you have any siblings? Right? That that's a

1353
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 1: very common question on a first date. So she's now

1354
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 1: got to navigate that question almost on every first date.

1355
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,160
Speaker 1: And you what do you do? Do you talk about?

1356
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if she has any other siblings alive

1357
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,880
Speaker 1: or do you mention also the one that's passed way,

1358
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:32,160
Speaker 1: I don't see a downside of mentioning that you had

1359
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:34,920
Speaker 1: a sister that that passed away that you were super

1360
01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:37,519
Speaker 1: close with, if you do so in a positive light,

1361
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 1: Like Mitch just sat here and talked about Michelle with

1362
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:43,080
Speaker 1: a smile on his face the entire time, which kept

1363
01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:46,320
Speaker 1: us smiling, kept the mood up. So if if Chelsea

1364
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 1: were to talk about her sister, had my sister passed

1365
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,960
Speaker 1: away last year or best cancer? But she was awesome, guy,

1366
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:52,519
Speaker 1: I wish you could have had a chance to meet her.

1367
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:54,720
Speaker 1: She was a light of my day kind of thing.

1368
01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:58,639
Speaker 1: I think that then airs that topic, but it keeps

1369
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 1: the mood light. That's that's a that's a great point.

1370
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,200
Speaker 1: And the last thing you want to do when you're

1371
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:04,280
Speaker 1: on a date is be something that you're not, So

1372
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:06,640
Speaker 1: don't don't do don't try and be something for that

1373
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:08,719
Speaker 1: other person. I think you're absolutely right remember your sister

1374
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:11,320
Speaker 1: in happy times and speak about it that way, and

1375
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,640
Speaker 1: I think that's the way to go. Agree. Wow, that

1376
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:18,400
Speaker 1: was an awesome our conversation. That was a topic that

1377
01:11:18,439 --> 01:11:21,599
Speaker 1: I had never given any mindset to I've been very

1378
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:26,320
Speaker 1: fortunate where I haven't lost anybody tragically or drastically. My

1379
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 1: family is healthy, and I've never given any thought to

1380
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:33,400
Speaker 1: what life after loss might be. So I learned a

1381
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:35,720
Speaker 1: lot in this one. This was incredible for sure. And

1382
01:11:35,760 --> 01:11:38,519
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, when you see what you're gonna

1383
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:40,760
Speaker 1: be talking about for for an hour. It isn't like

1384
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:43,160
Speaker 1: we just said, even about Chelsea Stuay, it's not the

1385
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:45,519
Speaker 1: most uplifting thing to think about talking. But when you

1386
01:11:45,560 --> 01:11:48,080
Speaker 1: get in and you and you have conversations like this, man,

1387
01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:51,040
Speaker 1: it can really be inspirational. Yeah. So I hope anybody

1388
01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:53,559
Speaker 1: out there that's loved and lost got some value from

1389
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:56,000
Speaker 1: from today. Um, you can reach out to us if

1390
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:58,519
Speaker 1: you want to get in touch with Mitch, but just

1391
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 1: know that there's a lot of life ahead you. There's

1392
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:03,280
Speaker 1: many more blessings coming in your life if you look

1393
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:06,040
Speaker 1: at life as a place of opportunity. Uh. And as

1394
01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:08,040
Speaker 1: Mitch said, you get back in the game. So thank

1395
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:10,719
Speaker 1: you guys for listening. We appreciate you all. Until next time,

1396
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 1: take care of one another, love one another, and we'll

1397
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:15,120
Speaker 1: see you back here next week for another episode of

1398
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:18,360
Speaker 1: How Men Think. Hey, guys, it's Brooks and one last

1399
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,879
Speaker 1: thing before we let you go. If you like today's episode,

1400
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,000
Speaker 1: we would love to get a five star review from

1401
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,000
Speaker 1: you on iTunes and if you could possibly share it

1402
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:27,360
Speaker 1: with a friend, that would be amazing as well. We

1403
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:30,559
Speaker 1: always look forward to your questions, comments, or insights, so

1404
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 1: you can send us an email at men at I

1405
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,280
Speaker 1: heart radio dot com and also follow along with us

1406
01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:37,960
Speaker 1: on Instagram at how Men Think Podcast.