WEBVTT - Pursuing Happiness In All the Wrong Ways #611 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.840 Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt, 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:26.680 and today we're discussing pursuing happiness in all the wrong ways. Yeah, Joel, 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.480 you know, it's not that there are folks out there 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:30.720 who aren't pursuing happiness. They're doing it the way that 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:32.959 they think that they should. They're just looking in all 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.280 the wrong places. And when some people are going about 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.760 it in all the wrong ways, pursuing like actual like 0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:41.280 their goal, how can I be happier? Which is typically 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:42.920 the wrong question to ask if you want to be happy. 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:44.519 That is true, I mean, although I mean that is 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:46.360 exactly what we're talking about. But we're gonna talk about 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:49.599 happiness in a more lasting and in a more fulfilling 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:51.480 kind of way. That's what we're going to be talking 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:53.520 about today. And also we are going to talk about money, 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:56.400 because money certainly plays an important role when it comes 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:59.600 to our pursuit of happiness. But okay, so real quick 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.280 before we get into a jewel. So the neighborhood that 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.800 we moved to, it's great, you know, we like it there. 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:06.600 There are a lot of kids running around, which is 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:07.800 also a great thing. It's a lot of fun to 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:10.399 see the kids you know, running around playing. This also 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.160 means that there are a lot of kids selling stuff. 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:15.720 There's a lot of entrepreneurial kids in your hood, like 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:17.320 literally going door to door and being like, hey, would 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:20.560 you like to buy some of whatever that they made 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:23.880 some bracelets, uh, as well as different stands that are 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:26.679 set up along the street, that kind of thing. And 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:30.160 there were some neighborhood kids and they had set up 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:36.120 like a holiday treats table or stands. Sounds nice, sounds festive, right, Uh, 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:41.200 they're selling hot chocolate for three dollars a cup, along 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:44.280 with like candy canes and stuff like what is the Starbucks? 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.280 I'm all for entrepreneurship here, but that's how three dollars 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:48.720 a cup. It's a lot of money. Kind of blew 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:51.600 me away. And Kate, that's not really love the kids 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:55.200 to participate, Yes, and we do, or I'll say that 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:57.840 Kate does because she went ahead and purchase a single cup. 0:01:57.880 --> 0:02:00.600 You were over there, arms crossed, well and she frowned, 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.520 which I was. You know, they had the hot chocolate 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:04.000 when I came up from work and they were explaining 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:05.280 They're like, oh yeah, we got this, and I was like, 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.040 oh yeah, how much? Really? Charged, and she told me 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.200 I couldn't believe it, and so like what I told her, 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:11.720 I was like, why didn't you negotiate? Because I felt 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:15.520 like this was a perfect opportunity to teach him another lesson. Well, 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.200 I mean, just to talk about it a little bit 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:19.639 and not just be like okay, whatever you say, but 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:22.239 literally to push back a little bit, and you don't 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:23.760 have to be a jerk about it, right, Like you 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.320 can be like, oh man, three dollars, that's a really 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:28.920 expensive a couple of hot chocolate. How about I'd like 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:33.120 to retire Sunday kids about three cups for five dollars, right, 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.320 or or even just been like okay, what about how 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.639 about one dollar? Just just to start the conversation. I 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:39.400 think there's a way that you can have that conversation. 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:41.600 But Kate kind of like rolled her eyes at me 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:43.680 and just like, of course this is what you would say. 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:45.400 But do I mean, what would you have done in 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:47.480 that situation? Do you feel like that that's frugal or 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.800 is that a cheap move to negotiate? What's from patented 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:52.840 reaction to you? Now, by the way, it's just eyes roll, 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.959 which I get eye roll, But yeah, what's your tike, though, 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:58.560 I think it's okay to be like, hey, guys, what 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.440 if we did yeah, yeah, three for six bucks or 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:03.840 something like that, Like, well, we're gonna go for volume here. 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:05.800 You guys want to be the costco of hot chocolate. 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:08.400 That's how that's how you gotta roll. But yeah, I 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.639 mean you probably they're there. It depends on how much 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:13.280 hard work they put into it and stuff like that. 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.480 And if there's like a peppermint stick coming out of 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.400 it and all that jazz, it's like it's I would 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:20.080 just pay them money if you're interested, or keep walking 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:22.600 if you're not. Maybe I wasn't there to experience all 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.920 the decor that they poured, Like yeah, maybe I just 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:28.120 pictured a table with like some hot chocolate that's not 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.560 so hot. But it just to me seemed like a lesson, 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.519 like not only for like those kids to learn how 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.320 to talk to an adult about the price of something, 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:38.920 but even for our kids, right like for them to 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:41.560 to witness a little bit of negotiation, for them to 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.760 understand the value of a dollar. I felt that was 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:48.200 a massive opportunity for them just to learn firsthand, like 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.560 a real life interaction. Um And so I don't know, 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:52.120 I think there's a way to do it, as long 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:53.600 as you're not a jerk about it, right, Like I'm 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:57.240 not talking about being all my you know, scrooge like 0:03:57.440 --> 0:04:00.240 and being like are you kidding and like over training 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:04.320 to take workhouses. Yeah. I think I want to incentivize 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.960 young entrepreneurship too, And I think if it gets kids excited, 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:10.600 I'm willing to fork over extra money, even if it 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.240 feels like it's overcharging, because man, what a good experience. 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.480 The negotiation can be a good experience too, if you're 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:19.480 doing it in a lighthearted and friendly way. But that 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:22.799 was my take. Yeah, But I also think that paying 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.480 and paying the money buying the hot chocolate, by supporting 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:28.360 these kids in their little entrepreneurs want to encourage them 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:30.080 for sure, Yeah, is good, And you don't want to 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:33.200 deflate them by being like, well, guys, did you miss 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:38.760 the pricing class that was second grade down last month? 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.680 Did you miss the numbers? Yeah? I guess I just 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:44.360 worry that we're over encouraging these kids because we also 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.440 bought some expence of bracelets last like a few months 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.320 as well, and they I don't know, maybe they keep 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:51.640 coming back to the West and they keep coming to 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:54.160 your house for some reason, because you keep buying them. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.120 Everyone else knows to say no, But it's like written 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:58.640 across our forehead except for you. All right, well, I 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:00.599 like it, and if you don't have the money to 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:03.520 pay for it, then they don't. But either way, encouraging 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:05.760 kids in these pursuits is a good thing. That should 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:08.200 be the bigger lesson. And if they're your kids, encourage 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.599 them to do the same and steal all your neighbors 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:12.680 money and so they can buy their own stuff. It's 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.919 just one giant cycle, what's right, Or at least let 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.240 me get some like exactly? All right, let's mention the 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:20.040 beer we're having on the episode today. This one is 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:24.240 called Mile High Salute. It is a Checha sour, which 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:25.840 I've never heard of this time before. But we will 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.120 give our thoughts on this one at the end of 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.320 the episode. This one is by Mutation, brewing right around 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:33.960 the corner from us where we live. But Matt, let's 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.200 get onto it. Let's move on to the topic at hand, 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.159 pursuing happiness in all the wrong ways. And of course, 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:40.839 we hope all of our listeners had a great Christmas. 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:43.720 This is our second episodes since Christmas so um, we 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:45.160 we hope it was a good one for every one 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:47.120 that was super enjoyable. We're still very much in the 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.400 holiday spirit, of course, yes, hopefully you are as well. Well. 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:53.560 It's it's interesting to me when we were thinking of 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.360 this episode, it made me think of kind of the 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:59.880 joy that our kids have on their faces Christmas morning 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.920 when they run down faces copious presence under the tree, 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.159 and it was like a joy like they were beating 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:08.839 right and so thrilled to get to open these presents, 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:10.479 to get to tear them to shreds and see what 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:14.960 was inside. But uh, that joy that they have at 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.200 seven am, right when they're so thrilled to open up 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:20.760 everything under the tree, it doesn't look the same later 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:22.919 in the day, right, Uh. And I think that's a 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:25.520 story that's the same thing for adults and kids alike. 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:29.279 There's frequently like a post present let down that almost 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:31.760 all of us experience. You kind of come down from 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.000 that high for sure. Either there was something that we 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:36.120 wanted that we didn't get, or the gifts that we 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:38.560 did receive they're not quite as good as they looked 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.800 in TV, or there there's some assembly required and wait 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:45.520 a second, we forgot the battery, the batteries of the package. Exactly. Okay, 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.359 so very small, quick tangent. Did you ever have a 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.920 present as a kid that you did not receive that 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:53.920 you had all your Christmas hopes pinned too? I'm sure 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.760 I did. For me. It was the classic Hungry Hungry Hippos. 0:06:57.800 --> 0:06:59.000 I think we may have talked about this on the 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.600 show Record is the South and the Yeah, I completely, 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:03.880 I totally have my heart set on that game because 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:08.520 the commercials were awesome. Those kids mash those levers of 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:11.320 the hippo gobble up on those marbles. But I don't 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:14.000 get it. And that's all my parents remember from that 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:17.600 Christmas was that disappointment. But there's no hungry hungry hippen. 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:19.880 Well it is. It's a good game, but it's not 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:21.720 as good as it looks on the commercials now right, 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:26.240 and disappointment yes, and in that vein right, the anticipation 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:28.640 of Christmas morning is almost always better than the payoff. 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:32.559 And and something close to the world's toys are owned 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.679 by three percent of the world's population, which is American children, 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:39.040 And so are we happier? Are our kids happier? Because 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:41.800 that's the case because they get this massive amount of 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:44.440 all the toys are created in the world. No, I 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.240 would say, not necessarily, and in fact, the opposite is 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:50.480 often true. Right, The same is often the case though 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.720 when it comes to amassing more wealth, there's this there's 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.240 a point of diminishing returns. And today on the show, 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.400 we're going to talk about how happiness levels are affected 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:03.600 by your financial standing and how they aren't Deep dive 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:06.360 on happiness today on HTM. That's right, yeah, and of 0:08:06.400 --> 0:08:08.760 course everyone probably are already knows this, but all the 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:10.640 money in the world is not going to make you happy. 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.880 Just like getting every single present on your list, how 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.960 that likely only brought you a fleeting sense of joy 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.920 doesn't last all that long. Uh. And so ultimately, like, 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:22.240 what it's going to take is some introspection, is going 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:25.920 to take some self examination to fully understand what it 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:29.200 is that will bring you fulfillment and happiness, not just 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:32.320 more money. Uh. And it might be honestly, it might 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:33.959 be a touch ironic coming from the guy as you 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:37.520 talk about money three times a week, right, Like earning, 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.160 earning money, saving investing money, these are all great things, 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.320 but it's also crucial to put money in its proper place. 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.199 And on the service. This is probably something that you 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:50.319 already know, right, But do you have a deeper understanding 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:52.600 of it? Uh? You might have the head knowledge, but 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:55.960 do you have the richer understanding that comes from experiencing 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:58.760 it and living it out. Because I think while many 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:01.000 of us would say, yeah, like, I totally agree with 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.120 that statement, right, like, more money, it's not gonna make 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:05.800 me happier, Well, we actually end up living our lives 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:09.840 in ways that contradict that statement. And the reality is 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.320 that it's often not just the pursuit of money that 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:14.400 we think will make us happy, but it's the things 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:18.560 that money can afford us. I just mentioned Scrooge, but 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.600 you know, chances are you probably saw some version of 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:25.960 the Dickens classic Christmas Carol. There's a lot of good ones, 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:29.720 bad ones. But I wonder if a lot of folks 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:31.560 I thought about the I thought about this last time 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:35.439 I watched it, because like Scrooge was obsessed with money, right, 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.560 just like that the thing in and of itself. And 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:41.319 I think today oftentimes we are drawn not to money itself, 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:43.960 but the things that money can afford us. That the 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:45.679 things that money can can buy us, and we think 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:48.360 that it almost feels unrelatable to picture somebody who's just 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:52.720 like stacking wads of buy a lambo with it in 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.520 exactly it's um, but they didn't have those kind of things. 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.360 Wait way back then, you're right, Yeah, it's it's the 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:02.160 it's the thinking that shopping incessantly. We've just gotten more 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:06.040 sophisticated with how it is that we are misled, right, Like, 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:09.440 it's sneaky, it's pernicious. But we're often tricked into thinking 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:11.520 that there's just a variety of things that will make 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.880 us happy. It's a false hope. And so we're going 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:15.960 to dive into a lot of some of those different 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:19.439 things that we think, uh, don't actually bring about happiness, 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.200 and we'll make sure to end the episode talking about 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:24.640 the right way to pursue happiness as well, and kind 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.440 of how we think about money has a lot to 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:28.960 do with it. But let's get into let's talk about maybe, um, 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:31.520 what about like an unexpected windfall mat like how happy 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.680 would it make you? Do you think if you randomly 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:37.800 had ten tho dollars deposited into your accounts tomorrow? No 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:39.959 questions asked that you could put towards the lamb, but 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:41.920 those strings attached that you can put towards a lambar 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:43.640 or whatever you wanted. Like, do you think that would 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.360 move the needle for you? Yeah? I mean if you 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.160 said you want ten thousand bucks and be like sure, 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.760 you be like what, I'll take it. It's like it's 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.920 like playing a monopoly and it's like bank error in 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:55.160 your favor collector hundred dollars or something like that, and 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:57.920 you're like, what amazing? Like to get all about it? 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:00.280 Just money gifted to you in that way. It would 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:01.760 put a smile on your face. I think would put 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:05.120 a smile on mine as well. Well. Uh, the thing is, 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:06.920 it would, but it wouldn't do it for very long. 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:09.520 And that's because the TED, the TED organization of Ted 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.600 Talk Fame, ran an experiment based on ten thousand dollar 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:16.560 donations to folks who lived in low income countries and 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.559 others who lived in high income locations. And what did 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:21.520 they find, Matt, Well, they found that the folks who 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:25.439 had lower salaries, the ones in countries like Brazil, Indonesia, 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:29.439 and Kenya, gained a lot more happiness than folks who 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:32.160 lived in renter countries. That was, their their happiness was 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:35.640 even more long lasting. And that's not terribly shocking. Uh. 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:38.000 If you're on the earlier side of your wealth building journey, 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:40.920 a ten thousand dollar lumps some could help jump start 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.599 your progress a whole lot helping you, like acts a 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:45.400 big chunk of student loans that have been hanging out 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:47.599 in your life, or allowing you to max out a 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.480 roth ira for the first time ever. Maybe that's been 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.000 a goal for years, and it's like, boom, this lump 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.080 some money fell into my lap. Now I can do 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.800 it in one fell swoop. That allows you to, you know, 0:11:56.840 --> 0:12:00.079 get the compounding return started earlier than most folks get to, 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.439 which of course is a big win. But for folks 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:06.480 are further along in their wealth building journey, it's helpful. 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.160 It's a helpful study to consider because as you move 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.400 up the money gears, it certainly seems like you should 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:14.640 be putting less and less emphasis on your net worth 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:18.280 from a happiness standpoint, and so a windfall, yeah it 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.760 might be nice, but even a lump sum of cash 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:24.360 has diminishing returns rather quickly. Yeah, you know, And it's 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:26.280 it's not like you want to start making bad money 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:29.280 decisions on purpose to curb the growth of your money. 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.040 Like it's taking a world one k loan. It'start giving 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:32.760 it all the way. Let me get hit with that 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:35.960 tempercent penalty, right, It's more about just rethinking the role 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.600 of money in your life. And a Warton study actually 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:41.560 from last year that gave some helpful new insights because 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:45.840 they found that a higher income is linked to increase happiness, 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:49.280 but largely because of the increased control that you then 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:53.000 have over everyday decisions in your life. Basically just allows 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.520 for greater autonomy. And so it seems to me that 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:59.280 more money is a better predictor of maybe emotions than 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:02.240 of actual happiness because obviously, when you don't have enough money, 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.600 like it's it's hard not to like acutely feel that 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.280 need right if you can't pay the bills um. But like, 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.080 basically money it helps solve quite a few problems for 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:14.640 folks in that lower income space, at least until a 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:19.000 certain point. Traditionally that's that seventy five dollar mark by 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:23.800 Nobel researchers and economists uh Daniel Koneman. Thanks to inflation, 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.400 it might be more like eighty thou dollars. Now I 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:28.760 don't know, maybe, but it's also important to note though 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.360 that we are living in the richest country in the 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.840 history of the world, and it's easy to see that 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.160 it's often just a band aid and not a permanent 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.920 fix for many folks. And what's needed in reality is 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:41.400 just a deeper look not only at their money, but 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:43.320 how it is they pursue other things in life, and 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:45.560 how it is that they spend their time. Yeah. Yeah, 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.439 and how do we know that we're so rich? Well, 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:51.800 statistics for one, but yeah, the numbers just just just 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:53.920 prove it. Right. When you look at the US is 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.520 very very rich, exactly. Yeah, when you look at overall 0:13:56.600 --> 0:14:01.079 net worth and incomes and an opportunity any we are 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:04.320 country ranks super high on so many different metrics, and 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.440 so we definitely have an abundance of material wealth in 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:10.080 this country. The toy stat I referenced earlier, it's just 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.240 another pointer to the fact that we have tons of 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.400 money right floating around in this country. Of the world's 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.480 toys to three percent of the world's population, there's a 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:20.960 big discrepancy there. But the self care trend, I would say, 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:24.440 gives us another window into just how prosperous we've become. 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:26.680 And we're hoping that the Matt and I at least 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.920 we're hoping that the self care trend calms down a 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:31.440 little bit, because it's often it's not making us happier, 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.560 and it's costing us big money. At the same time. 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.280 There's a recent episode actually of the Money with Katie 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:38.960 podcast We Think She's Awesome. She talked about how spending 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:43.200 less on self care and taking less time to pursue 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:46.520 a beauty regimen actually helped her to feel more empowered, 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.240 which I thought was cool. I appreciated her thoughts on that, 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:52.200 and then at the same time, I read an article 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.480 in Vox which came to a similar conclusion. The article 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.640 was titled I used all the best stuff for a 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:00.600 week and it nearly broke me. And what this author 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:05.800 what she seemed to detail was an increased bent towards perfectionism. Uh. 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:08.560 We would call it the Didero effect, right where everything 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:11.520 else around you starts to look a little shabby in 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.400 line to some of these new items you've brought into 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.280 your life. And it was interesting to see Matt that 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:21.360 her experiment of having the nicest, newest, coolest, instagram worthy 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:25.120 stuff for a month actually led her to less happiness 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.880 and worst social relationships. Um, and I think that's a 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.800 real problem that we face when we try to make 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.840 ourselves feel better through retail therapy and the stepped up 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.040 self care edgemen right, that we put too much of 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:38.400 a focus on things less of a focus on the 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:41.680 things that actually matter, and and that's in large part 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:43.840 where we fall short. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing wrong 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:47.040 with like a nice bottle of face serum right from 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:50.160 the man himself with oils or something like that, But 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.800 it can easily become a slippery slip, right, like, because 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.240 first it's beauty products, it's self care. Next it's upgrading 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.800 your professional wardrobe, you know, but with the excuse that 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.280 maybe you're doing it for your rear, this is an investment, 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.520 or you're doing it just because you deserve it. Like 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.800 we would say that self care that will actually translate 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:09.600 to higher levels of well being is going to be 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.840 less consumption based, Like, for instance, a walk in the 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:16.920 woods to distress a proper amount of sleep sounds like 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.560 maybe the best kind of self care that's out there, 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:23.240 instead of staying up to midnight scrolling Instagram to the 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:26.200 bed on time, that direct to consumer model that these 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:29.120 companies have gotten so good at. But these more like 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:33.040 less money focused, less consumption based ways to increase your 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.000 well being are going to move the needle a whole 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:38.000 lot more than a a new purse or fancy new 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:41.240 bed sheets or something like that, because like many Americans 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:43.080 have just come to buy into the self care ethic 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:45.240 to the point that it's just costing the money that 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:47.720 they don't have, and it's not doing much on the 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.560 on the happiness front either, And many times it's creating 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:54.920 the opposite effect, right, Like remember the control an autonomy 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.280 point from earlier on from that study, the more money 0:16:57.360 --> 0:16:59.640 you spend on self care, the more your bank account 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.359 is going to shrink. Uh, And with that your autonomy 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.360 is shrinking as well. And something that's important to keep 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.720 in mind. We think that we're purchasing happiness, but instead 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.520 we're purchasing our way further into debt. And you're also 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.840 creating a habit that's almost insatiable because there is no 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.000 end to the lust for more goods or more stuff. 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:18.000 And so yeah, if you kind of start to go 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:21.639 down this path, you'll find that it's really hard to 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.840 recognize when you're going overboard, and it's hard to see 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.280 that wait a second, it feels like I'm getting momentary 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:31.600 bursts of happiness as I pursue this route, but in 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:34.080 the end you're actually left unhappier. But it's just hard 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:35.840 to point a finger on it, and so you keep 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.400 going down it until you've gone quite a ways. Yeah, 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.119 and you have left some of your autonomy kind of 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.080 behind because you don't have as much financial breathing room. 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:46.399 We're also not saying, by the way that our bodies 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.359 don't matter, and that we would say, you know, taking 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.560 time to work out as clutch that self care you mentioned, 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:53.600 it's not. It's not the worst thing not to buy 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:55.560 a bottle of face serum if that's your thing. I 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.400 don't really have any sort of facial regiment. My wife 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.320 says I should probably adopt one, but I don't even 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:01.720 know what that means or looks like. I don't. I 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:04.080 don't either. Earlier this year, though, I started wearing a 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:06.240 very small amount of cologn though, because I was just like, 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:07.720 you know what, I want to have a smell, and 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:10.679 so that's something I do know. It's okay to splurge 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:12.840 just a little bit. You know, the brute smells good 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:17.720 on you. I'm a big fan of route. There's something 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:20.320 about smelling like your grandpa that I feel like residents 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:24.760 with millennials, do you get Yes, exactly. There's nothing wrong 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.920 with like getting massage every once in a while, or 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:29.920 trying to eat healthier and spending more money on more 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.879 expensive organic foods things like that. That's totally fine. Taking 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:34.960 care of yourself is good. Like we we want to 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.880 push you in that direction, but just don't buy into 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:42.840 the treatoself self care mantra that that suddenly insinuates that 0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:45.800 by purchasing fancier products, you're gonna be a better you. 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:48.720 You're gonna be a happiness happier person. Your happiness levels 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.359 so you're gonna go off the charts. That that is 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:55.879