WEBVTT - #162 A son who was murdered, the problem with social media, & relationship lies 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.640 What's your alternative. You wake up, it's February twenty eighth. 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:09.560 You remember, you remember your son, You remember that he 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:16.520 was murdered, and you get depressed and you sit on 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:20.800 social media and you flip through Instagram, Facebook. You see 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:27.520 people acting perfect, looking perfect. You get jealous. You say, 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.760 why can't I have that? Why can't I have my son? 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:33.400 Why can't I have a nice marriage like I see 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:42.920 on Facebook? You get pissed off. That's what happens. Choose, Josh, choose, 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:57.760 well you redeem that day. What's up everybody? Welcome back 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.280 to the podcast, episode number one hundred sixty two. Thanks 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:04.960 for watching and listening. We answer, well, I say, we 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.360 I answer your questions. That's what The format of this 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:13.560 podcast is. Email me Granger Smith podcast at gmail dot com, 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.600 and I'll just talk about it in long form. And 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:19.000 you might see a short form of that on Instagram 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:24.440 or Facebook or TikTok, but in this place, right here, 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:28.280 wherever you are, whatever whatever you're using to listen to this, 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:33.280 maybe it's Spotify or Apple podcast or YouTube, We're just 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:36.479 talk about it in a long form, So I'm gonna 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.960 get right to it. The first question, subject line says 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:45.520 mental drained parenthesis urgent he granger. My name is Matthew. 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:48.240 I'm twenty years old. I'm from North Carolina. Just started 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:50.960 listening to the podcast. I appreciate everything you do for us. 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:53.600 I'll send you this email because I struggle with anxiety 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:57.120 and depression and keep a relationship and keeping a relationship 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:59.320 because of my past and my mental state. Me and 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:03.200 my ex recent broke up because I was overwhelmed and 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:08.280 excuse me because I overwhelmed her and overreacted, which caused 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:11.480 me to overthink and lash out. And she says she 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.200 wasn't very happy with herself and she is mentally drained, 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.920 and she was having a hard time focusing on college 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:22.440 her friends, and she keeps trying to make me happy. 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:25.400 What she says, we were happy together, but we weren't 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:28.760 happy with ourselves. She thinks it's best that we just 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.640 stay friends for now and focus on ourselves, and I 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.200 somewhat agree, but I truly feel like she's the one, 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.560 and even though we aren't together for less than we 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.280 weren't together for less than a month, it hurts, and 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:42.040 I'm trying to give her space. So I'm turning to 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.760 God to help me. Lower case G is there any 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:49.440 advice you have for me? God bless comes from Matthew 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:53.040 and shout out to North Carolina. But thank you for emailing. 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:57.480 This is a good way to start the podcast, because 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:01.320 this is gonna be I'm gonna make this quick. Matthew, 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:05.320 you've been dating a couple months. You got some you 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.120 got some bad stuff going on with this relationship. She 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:15.200 is mentally drained. You are overwhelming her, You're overreacting to her. 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:19.040 You're causing her to which is causing you to overthink 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:23.720 and lash out. You've only been dating for a few months. 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:27.680 She's like, I went out. This is crazy, this is 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:32.160 affecting my mental health. And then you, after she says 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:36.240 that I'm paraphrasing you say, I don't know about that. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:40.720 I think we're meant to be together forever, and so 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:48.440 I think we should just stay dating. That's borderline psycho, 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.880 and that is borderline stocker. Matthew. I love you, brother, 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:55.520 I love you. You are part of Yege nation and 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:59.280 I appreciate you trusting me. And I want to start 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:03.440 this podcast off with hard tough love because I got 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:04.960 a feeling that's not the only one I'm gonna I'm 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:09.160 gonna have to say on this, but buddy, your borderline 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:13.400 stalking her. Look, I'm not judging you. We all when 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.320 we get in relationships sometimes we get blinded and it 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.719 takes someone from the outside to look in and go, look, 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:23.799 you're not seeing this correctly. You're sick, your heart sick, 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:27.320 your mind is scrambled. So we need wise counsel. We 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:29.960 need friends around us. We need people that are looking 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:33.240 from the outside perspective and getting the full scope. And 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:38.280 then they look into our relationship and they go, no, no, 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:42.120 you need to back away, back away from the ledge, right, 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:46.000 So let her go. That's my advice, that's my answer. 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:51.440 Let her go. She's given you a really good excuse 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.919 that you're messing her up mentally. So you got to 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:58.280 fix some things. You gotta fix some things. You got 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:01.760 to be single and content, fix things, and whatever you do, 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:09.920 stop bothering her. Okay, love you, brother. Next question says 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:13.200 subject line friend's wedding. Hey, Grandeer, I'm a big fan 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.479 of you and your vlogs. Hopefully someday I could see 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:19.279 you in concert. My question is I have one of 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.200 my friends that I've known since the sixth grade that 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:25.080 I've had a crush on I still do, and she's 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.280 getting married to her boyfriend. If I get an invite 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:32.080 to the wedding, should I go knowing that I have 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:39.280 feelings for her? Interesting question comes from Kevin and man, 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.960 that is that's an interesting question. Kevin, I don't think 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.440 I've ever got one quite like that, and so I 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:48.880 appreciate you. I appreciate you stretching the boundaries of the podcast. 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:51.240 A little bit. Got a crush on a girl. You've 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:53.320 known her for a long time, since the sixth grade. 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:55.719 Now she's getting married. You're wondering if you should even 0:05:55.839 --> 0:06:00.280 go to the wedding because you still have feelings. Well, 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:05.960 here's the deal. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:11.440 her because you've known her as a friend and you 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:16.120 have somewhat of an attachment. Now there's a level that 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:19.440 those feelings could get to where then it becomes a problem. 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.800 I don't know if you said that. I don't know 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:27.000 if that's what you mean, But here's my point. The 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:34.599 problem is having a crush on this girl doesn't become 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:39.799 a problem until you act on it, right. It becomes 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.120 a problem when you're starting to lust over it, You're 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:47.160 starting to be jealous of the new guy, you're starting 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:50.400 to think about her late at night and wonder if 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.039 there's no way that maybe you could still have a chance, 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.240 and maybe she's going to get a divorce one day 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:58.960 and you could be ready. Like that's where this leads. 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.880 If what might start is just innocent, just got a crush. 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:07.880 I've noticed since sixth grade, I've got a crush. You 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:13.240 have to be careful. Are you self disciplined enough where 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.160 you could hit the brakes if it starts going towards 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:22.560 that the wrong direction? Could you hit the brakes? If 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:25.040 the answer is yeah, I got this under control, then 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.200 by all means, go support your friends and go to 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:32.720 the wedding and keep your mouth shut. If this leads 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.440 to more, If this leads to lustful thinking and jealousy 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:38.600 towards the new husband, wondering if you ever have a 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:43.520 chance with her, then buddy, stay away from the wedding, 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:47.880 Stay away from her. It's it's time to find new friends. 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:56.280 You know what that is? It's funny. You know what 0:07:56.320 --> 0:08:03.120 that sound is? I record this and this is that 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.320 sound reminds me that it's time to post a clip 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:09.760 from this podcast on TikTok. That's funny, right, I have 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:11.720 to remind myself because I get busy and I'll get 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:13.920 doing stuff like this, so so now I have to 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:17.680 re remind myself after I finished. But if you ever 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:21.080 wonder who does that, If you ever wonder who who 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:25.080 puts those things on Instagram and TikTok, that's me Ian, 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:27.800 the guy that edits this podcast. He makes me those 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.960 clips and then I go in and add a caption 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.439 and add music, and then I'll go in and post 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:36.920 it on TikTok. So there you go. Let's see what 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:38.880 we got. Let's yeah, we got time. We'll still's hit 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:47.800 another question here. I've got I've got an idea. I'm 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:49.920 gonna hit a heavy one here. This is I saw 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:53.480 this earlier as I was as I was going flipping 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:57.480 through these emails. It says, hey Granger, my name is 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.320 Josh I'm from South Dakota. I want to start by 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:02.240 saying thank you for being a light in the dark world. 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:07.280 You always have your arms wide open for this podcast. 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:10.360 And I know that you lost a son in the past. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.880 My testimony is a little rough, but I love Jesus 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:17.600 more than anything. About two years ago, my ex and 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:22.000 I were pregnant two months in without me knowing she 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:25.280 took a bunch of pills and killed our son and 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:29.880 almost took her own life. We since don't talk anymore, 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.679 but on February twenty eighth, he will be too. God 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:38.840 has shown me what he looks like and also gave 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:42.200 me some hope. Every year on the twenty eighth, I 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.679 get super depressed. How do I keep my head up? 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:50.360 I keep going. I have since forgiven her for what 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:53.840 she has done, as Jesus has forgiven me for what 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:59.760 I have done. Josh, that's a heavy one, brother, And 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.319 like I, like I say to a lot of people, 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:07.480 thank you for trusting me and being vulnerable enough to 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:11.120 open up to this podcast knowing that I'm gonna read 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:16.760 it and to a lot of ears. But I do 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:20.400 know that a lot of I would say ninety nine 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.920 point nine percent of people that listen to this podcast 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:28.840 never email. But everyone has something going on. Everyone has 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:32.679 a difficulty, some kind of trial that they're going through 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:35.040 or have been through, or don't know it but about 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:38.360 to go through, And they listen to this podcast without 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:43.520 emailing because it makes them feel like they're not alone. 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:47.640 People have wild stories out there. You can't you can't 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.520 make this stuff up. Josh, your's story. You can't you 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:54.560 can't even make this up. And people hear it though, 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:58.680 and they go, wow, I've been through something like that. 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.360 I thought I was the only one. I thought my 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:08.640 life was just wacky, and then I hear you, Josh, 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:13.000 and it's comforting. I know that that's what people think 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:18.480 of because I've heard it firsthand. So Josh to you, 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:22.920 you are not alone. He says, this kind of thing like, 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.600 I don't have a magic answer, but we could talk 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.840 through it. And that's that's why I'm here, and you 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:33.959 are correct. I have arms wide open for this podcast. 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:36.920 I always have my arms wide open. So here's the 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.160 first thing I'm gonna say. You got your You get 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:43.480 your eyes right on Jesus. Keep them there, don't lose 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:47.000 the focus. You remember when Peter saw Jesus walking on 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:50.559 the water and he said, he said, Lord, I want 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:52.600 to come to you. I want to come. You want 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.000 to walk on water. I want to come to you. 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:57.640 So Jesus says, come. He steps out into the water 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.240 and he walks on the water. Peter does immortal like 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:04.920 me and you, And as soon as he loses sight 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:08.079 of Jesus, as soon as he gets distracted by his 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:13.320 feet and it looks down. He sinks, that's you, Josh. 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:17.040 Keep your eyes up, keep your eyes on your savior. 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:20.640 What you're doing. What do you do practically on the 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.720 twenty eighth, February twenty eighth, What do you do practically 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:28.360 for something like this? I would tell you as a 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:33.319 friend that you got to redeem that day. You have 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:37.880 to redeem February the twenty eighth. It is a dark 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.360 day in your history. It's a dark day in your life, 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:46.560 and it's a dark piece of It's something that it's 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.760 hard for you to pull that up and wake up 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:51.679 on the twenty eighth and have a good day. So 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:53.360 you got to redeem it. How do you do that? 0:12:54.920 --> 0:13:00.240 You take take all that pain and you say, on 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.600 February twenty eighth, here, let me just start throwing some 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:05.120 stuff out. Okay, Josh, this is I'm gonna give you 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.640 examples of what you could do, and then you take 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:13.200 take this idea of yourself. You say on February twenty eighth, 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:18.199 I'm gonna I'm gonna run I would say half a marathon, 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:20.320 but that's really tough. I would say I'm gonna run 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:25.280 five miles with I'm gonna add to this with a 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:31.880 twenty pound ruck, okay, And I'm gonna run five miles 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.240 with a twenty pound ruck, and I'm gonna go through 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:39.319 a certain area, maybe an urban area, and i'm gonna 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:48.480 I'm gonna raise money for child cancer. And the first 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.120 time I do it, I'm gonna I'm gonna put in 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.760 my own money and i'm gonna raise. I'm gonna I'm 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.920 gonna put in y'all. I'm literally making this up as 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:05.120 I go. I'm gonna put in twenty bucks per mile. Okay, 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.400 we're just starting low, like we're starting low. So you're 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.480 gonna have one hundred bucks. And this is year one. 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:14.840 What this does, what I'm trying to do for you, buddy, 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:18.920 is you're redeeming that day. So February twenty eighth is 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:22.320 for your son, and for your son, you're gonna you're 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:26.160 gonna pour that into others and you're gonna put effort 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.520 and sweat because running five miles, if you're a runner, 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:32.080 make it ten, make it fifteen. I'm not a runner, 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.280 so five would be five would be tough. But something 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:41.080 that takes it takes mental and physical strength, and you're 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.520 gonna have a twenty pound ruck, so it makes it harder. 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.840 So you're sweating and you're hurting, and maybe you got 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:50.280 some blisters. But you're running for a cause, for a purpose. 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:53.760 You're pouring in to others. You're gonna help others on 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:57.960 February twenty eighth, for your son and if anyone asks you, 0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:59.360 and hopefully what you want to do is you want 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:01.120 to get You want to start gathering people like you 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:03.760 tell your friends like, hey, guys, you want to come, 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.480 and you want to you wanna chip in twenty bucks 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:09.560 per mile that you run and at the end of 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.200 the day, we're gonna collect this money. Maybe it's four 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:15.000 or five, six hundred dollars and we're gonna write a 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:20.760 check to Saint Jude for preventing childhood cancer something like that. 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.520 And you start growing this and you make t shirts 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:28.680 for it, and you all wear the shirt and you're 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:30.880 gonna run this and you have your rucksack and you're 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:34.120 gonna you're gonna sweat and you're gonna cry, and you're 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:39.320 gonna redeem that day. That's what you do. What's your alternative? 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:45.040 You wake up it's February twenty eighth. You remember you 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:52.080 remember your son. You remember that he was murdered, and 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:55.280 you get depressed, and you sit on social media and 0:15:55.320 --> 0:16:00.680 you flip through Instagram, Facebook. You see people and perfect 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:06.240 looking perfect. You get jealous. You say, why can't I 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.960 have that? Why can't I have my son? Why can't 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.360 I have a nice marriage like I see on Facebook? 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:21.080 You get pissed off. That's what happens. Choose, Josh, choose 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:26.480 will you redeem that day? Hey, I'll tell you what 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:33.320 you email me back, Josh, you come up with something 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.640 to redeem February twenty eighth, and I'll show up there 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:47.040 with you. I'll show up. Let's take back that day. 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:57.520 Next question, no subject here. The email says, So, my 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.320 girlfriend and I have been together for six months and 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.680 she is still talking to her ex, who she had 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:07.600 been together with for three years. And I've been told 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:10.080 by my friends and even her sister that they believe 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.280 she is cheating on me with her ex. And I'm 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.560 not sure what to do do I break up with her, 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.760 sit down and talk to her about it. I love 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:19.320 her to death and i don't want to lose her, 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:22.560 but I'm just not sure what to believe. So I'm 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:29.000 asking for your opinion. On what I should do. Did 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.320 you say your name, Nathan? You didn't say it. I'm 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:39.600 gonna say it anyway because you didn't say anonymous. But Nathan, buddy, 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:47.879 this is a conversation issue, communication issue. You can't not 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:52.359 say anything. You gotta say something right. But you can't 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:56.040 just go right out your girlfriend and say, are you 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.720 cheating on me with you with your ex? Okay? That 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.120 could cause major problems if it's just a lie, maybe 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.639 her sister's stirring some stuff up, that would be a 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:08.520 big problem. But you can't just let it go because 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:11.919 maybe it's true. So you just be as mature as 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.199 you can about it. You sit her down, face to 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:18.360 face like an adult, and you just say, Babe, I'm 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:22.399 gonna ask you something. And I just want to be 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:26.240 straight up and I'm not mad at you, and I'm 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.359 not freaking out here. I've heard from a few people 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:33.000 quitting your sister saying you're still seeing your ex? Is 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:37.440 it true? If you are, I'm out, Okay, I'll bow out. 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:41.760 No hard feelings. I've only been together with you for 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:46.080 six months, but I just want to know right now. 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.879 Could he just tell me? And if she's like no, 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:52.399 this is crazy you could be like, Okay, yeah, I 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.919 thought it was crazy too, but you know, maybe you 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.720 should talk to your sister about why she's spreading these 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:02.640 kind of rumors. Or maybe she goes, yeah, I'm sorry, 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:07.840 I still love my ex, and you go, okay, it's 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:11.879 been fun, but now I know it's really as easy 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:18.360 as that. It's religious communication thing. Be cool about it, 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:23.680 don't be crazy, don't be angry, and don't be silent 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:31.639 about it. We'll take a break, be right back. 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Buy raycon dot 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:43.560 Com slash s Granger. Back to the podcast. All right, 0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:47.920 welcome back to the podcast. This next question, subject line says, 0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:50.159 girl Tips, and I got to tell you before we 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:54.320 get into this, I don't keep notes. I don't read 0:21:54.400 --> 0:21:57.960 these in advance and make some kind of bullet points. 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.960 We're just going we're just shooting in the dark here. 0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:04.160 So here we go. You with me, everyone, subject line 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:07.320 girl tips, and the email says, hey, Granger came across 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:10.040 your podcast on TikTok. Love to your content. My name 0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:12.400 is Justin. I'm twenty three years old. I'm a follower 0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:14.919 of Christ. I met this girl who isn't but she 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:17.359 says she really wants to have a relationship with God 0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:20.000 the way I do. Although she doesn't have Christ in 0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:22.920 her heart, we share the same morals, views and things 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:27.240 like that. She's a sweet girl. However, we were getting 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:29.720 to know each other and going on dates and stuff, 0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:31.840 and I asked her, how does she feel about all this? 0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:35.840 All this for about two months. She responded by saying, 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:42.320 you're like the perfect boyfriend. But to be honest, I 0:22:42.359 --> 0:22:45.879 still have an attachment to my ex. This is her talking. 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:48.920 I feel like you met me at the wrong time. 0:22:49.280 --> 0:22:51.640 Now she just wants to be friends and see where 0:22:51.680 --> 0:22:54.399 things will go. Not sure what to do. Do I 0:22:54.520 --> 0:22:58.760 drop her? Be friends? Not sure? Thank you God blessed Justin. 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:04.359 Thanks for the email, brother, and man, I'm gonna go 0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:07.719 right after this. You are You're in one of these 0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:11.640 kind of situations where she's just not into you. And 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:15.159 she says that you're the perfect boyfriend. No, you're not. 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:20.160 You're not to her, You're not justin. I think you're 0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:24.159 a good guy. Man, I think you're awesome, but she doesn't. 0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:27.600 She says you're the perfect boyfriend. You're not the perfect 0:23:27.640 --> 0:23:30.080 boyfriend to her, or you would be with her, she 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:33.080 would choose you. It's just a line, you see what 0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:36.280 I'm saying. I love you, man, tough love here. But 0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:38.600 that's just a line that she's given you to make 0:23:38.680 --> 0:23:42.080 you feel better, and because then she gets you, she 0:23:42.160 --> 0:23:44.360 gives you the big blow, which is right after that, 0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:46.840 which says, to be honest, I still have an attachment 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.520 to my ex. I feel like you met me at 0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:52.280 the wrong time, which is another one of these lies. 0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:58.239 No one meets someone right at the wrong time. You 0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:00.639 meet someone wrong at the wrong time. You meet someone 0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:03.600 right at the right time, But you never meet someone 0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:07.920 right at the wrong time. That just doesn't happen, because 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:12.119 if you meet someone that's right, you change everything, you 0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:16.600 rearrange your life, and suddenly, whila, it's the right time, 0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:20.959 right person, right time. That's the correct way to see it. 0:24:21.680 --> 0:24:23.880 If she gives you anything like this, I have met 0:24:23.920 --> 0:24:27.199 you at the wrong time. You're just the perfect boyfriend, 0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:30.880 and I'm so sorry I have an attachment to my ex. Whoops, 0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:34.640 we met at the wrong time. That's just a very 0:24:34.760 --> 0:24:37.200 nice way of saying she's just not into you, man. 0:24:37.800 --> 0:24:40.520 So your question is what do I do? Do I 0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:43.720 drop her? Be friends? Not sure? Thank you, brother, here's 0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:54.119 my answer. How's your heart? I think I think your heartbroken? Otherwise, 0:24:54.720 --> 0:24:57.920 you wouldn't have emailed me a long email about this. 0:24:58.520 --> 0:25:01.200 So I'm saying, as a it's a friend me and you. 0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:04.280 I'm saying, we're driving down the truck together. You know, 0:25:04.520 --> 0:25:06.440 we're in the cab of the truck and we got 0:25:06.440 --> 0:25:09.439 the windows down. We're on a county road, doing some 0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:11.879 back road. And then you're like, man, Granger, tell me 0:25:11.920 --> 0:25:20.360 what to do. I'm like, justin, leave everything behind, dropper blocker, 0:25:20.960 --> 0:25:24.960 No to friends, no to future girlfriend, because your heart 0:25:25.080 --> 0:25:28.120 is in jeopardy. Your heart is in danger here. That's 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:32.040 what I'm saying. If you were like, man, she's a 0:25:32.040 --> 0:25:34.240 cool girl. I don't know, met her a couple of 0:25:34.240 --> 0:25:36.000 weeks ago. I think she's still into her ex. What 0:25:36.040 --> 0:25:39.160 should I do? I'd say, Hey, just be friends. It's okay, 0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:43.639