WEBVTT - Have your answers ready

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to have your answers ready for questions you

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<v Speaker 1>know you are going to get. In general, people tend

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<v Speaker 1>to ask the same things, so when you have your

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<v Speaker 1>answers ready, you will be able to make a good

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<v Speaker 1>impression and connect authentically with the other person. Today's tip

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<v Speaker 1>comes from Alison Frigale. She is a professor at the

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<v Speaker 1>University of North Carolina's Business School and has written extensively

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<v Speaker 1>about status, power and negotiation. In her work, she starts

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<v Speaker 1>from the assumption that her readers are already talented and likable.

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<v Speaker 1>She explains in some of her recent work that because

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<v Speaker 1>status is about perp, you don't need to work harder

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<v Speaker 1>to raise your status. You just need to be seen

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<v Speaker 1>and appreciated for all that you already are. One way

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<v Speaker 1>to do that is to have what she calls a

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<v Speaker 1>throwaway questions strategy. That is an approach to answering those

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<v Speaker 1>predictable questions people ask that will highlight your warmth through

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<v Speaker 1>your assertiveness or both. We all know that we need

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<v Speaker 1>to anticipate and prepare for questions we are likely to

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<v Speaker 1>be asked in high stakes contexts like job interviews or

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<v Speaker 1>big presentations, But it turns out we can do the

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<v Speaker 1>same for questions that we will be asked in everyday contexts.

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<v Speaker 1>After all, these are opportunities to make a good impression

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<v Speaker 1>and to connect as well. For instance, if you haven't

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<v Speaker 1>seen someone in at least a few weeks, they are

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<v Speaker 1>probably going to ask how you are doing. You could

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<v Speaker 1>say fine or busy, but why not have a better

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<v Speaker 1>answer that reinforces the perception you want people to have

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<v Speaker 1>of you. So if someone asks me how life is going,

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<v Speaker 1>I might say great, I just put the finishing touches

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<v Speaker 1>on a manuscript of a book that will be out

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<v Speaker 1>next year. Or if it's more of a personal context,

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<v Speaker 1>I might say great, I'm looking forward to going on

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<v Speaker 1>a choir tour this summer along with my oldest son.

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<v Speaker 1>Both of those answers share things that I am excited about,

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<v Speaker 1>and they both also open the door for more conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>An obvious follow up question is to ask what my

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<v Speaker 1>book is about. An obvious follow up question is where

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<v Speaker 1>the choir is going, or have you been singing longer?

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<v Speaker 1>Is your son studying music? Or any of those topics.

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<v Speaker 1>When you are specific in your responses, the follow up

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<v Speaker 1>questions and subsequent conversation are just going to be richer.

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<v Speaker 1>Small talk that remains superficial can be painfully boring and

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<v Speaker 1>is basically pointless because it doesn't connect you to the

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<v Speaker 1>other person. You are just filling time. A slightly more

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<v Speaker 1>thoughtful answer does a lot more work. To have a

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<v Speaker 1>more thoughtful answer. You do have to think about all

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<v Speaker 1>this ahead of time, But the good news is that

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<v Speaker 1>most people aren't investigative reporters. The odds are good that

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<v Speaker 1>you are going to be asked very predictable questions at

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<v Speaker 1>any gathering you attend. How's work, how's the family, what

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<v Speaker 1>are you doing this summer? What have you been up

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<v Speaker 1>to since graduation? How do you know the groom? What's

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<v Speaker 1>keeping you busy these days? So think about how you

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<v Speaker 1>might answer these throwaway questions, and not only can you

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<v Speaker 1>create a good impression, you can make the conversation that

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<v Speaker 1>follows a lot more interesting, and that can make any

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<v Speaker 1>event a lot more fun. In the meantime, this is Laura,

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Thanks for listening to Before breakfast, If you've

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<v Speaker 1>got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at

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<v Speaker 1>Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit

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<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows.