Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to have your answers ready for questions you
Speaker 1: know you are going to get. In general, people tend
Speaker 1: to ask the same things, so when you have your
Speaker 1: answers ready, you will be able to make a good
Speaker 1: impression and connect authentically with the other person. Today's tip
Speaker 1: comes from Alison Frigale. She is a professor at the
Speaker 1: University of North Carolina's Business School and has written extensively
Speaker 1: about status, power and negotiation. In her work, she starts
Speaker 1: from the assumption that her readers are already talented and likable.
Speaker 1: She explains in some of her recent work that because
Speaker 1: status is about perp, you don't need to work harder
Speaker 1: to raise your status. You just need to be seen
Speaker 1: and appreciated for all that you already are. One way
Speaker 1: to do that is to have what she calls a
Speaker 1: throwaway questions strategy. That is an approach to answering those
Speaker 1: predictable questions people ask that will highlight your warmth through
Speaker 1: your assertiveness or both. We all know that we need
Speaker 1: to anticipate and prepare for questions we are likely to
Speaker 1: be asked in high stakes contexts like job interviews or
Speaker 1: big presentations, But it turns out we can do the
Speaker 1: same for questions that we will be asked in everyday contexts.
Speaker 1: After all, these are opportunities to make a good impression
Speaker 1: and to connect as well. For instance, if you haven't
Speaker 1: seen someone in at least a few weeks, they are
Speaker 1: probably going to ask how you are doing. You could
Speaker 1: say fine or busy, but why not have a better
Speaker 1: answer that reinforces the perception you want people to have
Speaker 1: of you. So if someone asks me how life is going,
Speaker 1: I might say great, I just put the finishing touches
Speaker 1: on a manuscript of a book that will be out
Speaker 1: next year. Or if it's more of a personal context,
Speaker 1: I might say great, I'm looking forward to going on
Speaker 1: a choir tour this summer along with my oldest son.
Speaker 1: Both of those answers share things that I am excited about,
Speaker 1: and they both also open the door for more conversation.
Speaker 1: An obvious follow up question is to ask what my
Speaker 1: book is about. An obvious follow up question is where
Speaker 1: the choir is going, or have you been singing longer?
Speaker 1: Is your son studying music? Or any of those topics.
Speaker 1: When you are specific in your responses, the follow up
Speaker 1: questions and subsequent conversation are just going to be richer.
Speaker 1: Small talk that remains superficial can be painfully boring and
Speaker 1: is basically pointless because it doesn't connect you to the
Speaker 1: other person. You are just filling time. A slightly more
Speaker 1: thoughtful answer does a lot more work. To have a
Speaker 1: more thoughtful answer. You do have to think about all
Speaker 1: this ahead of time, But the good news is that
Speaker 1: most people aren't investigative reporters. The odds are good that
Speaker 1: you are going to be asked very predictable questions at
Speaker 1: any gathering you attend. How's work, how's the family, what
Speaker 1: are you doing this summer? What have you been up
Speaker 1: to since graduation? How do you know the groom? What's
Speaker 1: keeping you busy these days? So think about how you
Speaker 1: might answer these throwaway questions, and not only can you
Speaker 1: create a good impression, you can make the conversation that
Speaker 1: follows a lot more interesting, and that can make any
Speaker 1: event a lot more fun. In the meantime, this is Laura,
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before breakfast, If you've
Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at
Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.