1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: tip is to have your answers ready for questions you 4 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: know you are going to get. In general, people tend 5 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: to ask the same things, so when you have your 6 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: answers ready, you will be able to make a good 7 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 1: impression and connect authentically with the other person. Today's tip 8 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: comes from Alison Frigale. She is a professor at the 9 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: University of North Carolina's Business School and has written extensively 10 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 1: about status, power and negotiation. In her work, she starts 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: from the assumption that her readers are already talented and likable. 12 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: She explains in some of her recent work that because 13 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: status is about perp, you don't need to work harder 14 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: to raise your status. You just need to be seen 15 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: and appreciated for all that you already are. One way 16 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: to do that is to have what she calls a 17 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: throwaway questions strategy. That is an approach to answering those 18 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: predictable questions people ask that will highlight your warmth through 19 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: your assertiveness or both. We all know that we need 20 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: to anticipate and prepare for questions we are likely to 21 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: be asked in high stakes contexts like job interviews or 22 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: big presentations, But it turns out we can do the 23 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: same for questions that we will be asked in everyday contexts. 24 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: After all, these are opportunities to make a good impression 25 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: and to connect as well. For instance, if you haven't 26 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: seen someone in at least a few weeks, they are 27 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,559 Speaker 1: probably going to ask how you are doing. You could 28 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: say fine or busy, but why not have a better 29 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: answer that reinforces the perception you want people to have 30 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,519 Speaker 1: of you. So if someone asks me how life is going, 31 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: I might say great, I just put the finishing touches 32 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: on a manuscript of a book that will be out 33 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: next year. Or if it's more of a personal context, 34 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: I might say great, I'm looking forward to going on 35 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: a choir tour this summer along with my oldest son. 36 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: Both of those answers share things that I am excited about, 37 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: and they both also open the door for more conversation. 38 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: An obvious follow up question is to ask what my 39 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: book is about. An obvious follow up question is where 40 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: the choir is going, or have you been singing longer? 41 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,399 Speaker 1: Is your son studying music? Or any of those topics. 42 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: When you are specific in your responses, the follow up 43 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: questions and subsequent conversation are just going to be richer. 44 00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: Small talk that remains superficial can be painfully boring and 45 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: is basically pointless because it doesn't connect you to the 46 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: other person. You are just filling time. A slightly more 47 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: thoughtful answer does a lot more work. To have a 48 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: more thoughtful answer. You do have to think about all 49 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: this ahead of time, But the good news is that 50 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: most people aren't investigative reporters. The odds are good that 51 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: you are going to be asked very predictable questions at 52 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: any gathering you attend. How's work, how's the family, what 53 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 1: are you doing this summer? What have you been up 54 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: to since graduation? How do you know the groom? What's 55 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: keeping you busy these days? So think about how you 56 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: might answer these throwaway questions, and not only can you 57 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: create a good impression, you can make the conversation that 58 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: follows a lot more interesting, and that can make any 59 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: event a lot more fun. In the meantime, this is Laura, 60 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 61 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before breakfast, If you've 62 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at 63 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a 64 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit 65 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 66 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.