1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: Hey, Chef Kevin, got your voicemail. I guess I missed you. 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 1: Maybe your phone's off or something. Just wanted to drop 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 1: a quick reminder. This is the Clem Dog. By the way, 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: Obviously we can't release the audition that we recorded this 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: weekend when we would normally be recording a Hollywood Handbook. 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 1: I mean, Louren would absolutely blow a gasket if some 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: of our listeners were able to get their ears on 8 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: these great characters before he's able to properly sort of 9 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: introduce them via the SNL platform. I don't want to 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: make any waves, So yeah, don't release the episode, or 11 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: I shouldn't call it an episode. Don't release the audition, 12 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 1: and you'll figure out something to put out instead. Anyway, 13 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: hope you're well and HM, was there anything else I 14 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: wanted to say while I have your voicemail? Oh God, 15 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: that's my plane. My plane is boarding. But I don't 16 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: want to leave a voicemail where I don't finish saying 17 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: all my thoughts. God, that's my flight to Dallas Fort Worth. Okay, 18 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna cut the voicemail short. It's 19 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: killing me. I feel like there's something else I was 20 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 1: gonna say, uh. 21 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 2: Uh oh. So you know, I'm in there. The table's 22 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 2: all set up and I'm with Party Lang and Hillary 23 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 2: Swank and we have created this really good tasting turmeric 24 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: drink and we set up our sample table at Costco. 25 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 2: It's available at Costco right now, and you get, you know. 26 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 3: One bottle in a last few a month. 27 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 2: You can do a shot every day, even hums with 28 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 2: the little cup to measure it out, and it decreases 29 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 2: swelling in a natural way. And I'm looking at you, 30 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 2: and this is no offense to you, Chef Kevin. You're 31 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: swollen as hell. I mean you look like shit. You 32 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 2: look like hell. You're so swollen because you haven't had 33 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 2: any turmerk Have you had any turmeric drink today? 34 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 3: Hey, guys, Chef Kevin, No, I have not. You haven't. 35 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 2: And so this is the kind of thing where, yeah, 36 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 2: we'll pour out a little cup for you. And you 37 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 2: tried it in the store and people have tried this 38 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 2: thing before, and it's an ancient root. I mean, this 39 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 2: root is so old, so there's an element of like, oh, 40 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: is this gonna taste bad? And if you've had it before, Kevin, 41 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 2: it can uh, but you haven't had ours, and we've 42 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 2: made it taste great, and we're stopping ladies, families, people 43 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 2: of every race and Creed and Creed two and everything, 44 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 2: and we're saying, hey, here's have some of this drink, 45 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 2: and they're like making it. But Artie, as you know, 46 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 2: is a bit of a cut up, and he keeps saying, 47 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 2: just as they're getting the sit down, Hey, I pissed him. 48 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 3: That, Artie. 49 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 2: Yes, it's funny. Okay, we're cracking up right now. It's funny. 50 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 2: But Hillary's frustrated, sure, because it's. 51 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 3: Not her humor. 52 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 2: No, And she and I both take this business seriously. 53 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 2: I always say, if you're gonna do anything, do it 54 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 2: all the way or only kind of do it? You 55 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 2: know what I mean? 56 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 3: Yes, but it's good to sometimes not take yourself too serious, 57 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 3: not to be too serious. 58 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 2: So you're on Arty's side of this a little bit, 59 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 2: Chef Kevin, I didn't think I didn't know you had 60 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 2: the backbone. Okay, well, I'd like to try to see 61 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 2: it from his perspective, but he didn't piss in it. 62 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 3: True. 63 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 2: And what's the name of the book that used to 64 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: make you buy when you took UCB one on one? 65 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: Uh? 66 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 2: Truth in comedy, truth in comedy, Kevin, So, is it 67 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 2: really funny for him to say that? Would would Beer 68 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 2: Shark Mice have said that because that is the old 69 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 2: Chicago improv group they referenced in that book several times? 70 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 3: That's yeah. Would the guys from Beer Shark Mice have 71 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 3: said that? No, they wouldn't. 72 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 2: They wouldn't because it's not truth because he didn't do 73 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 2: a piss in it. All he did was he ground 74 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 2: up some turmeric. He combined it with spices and juices 75 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 2: to make it more pleasant to drink. And you have 76 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 2: one shot a day, and I got to tell you 77 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 2: wouldn't be so swollen, Kevin. Yes, the swelling. It looks uncomfortable. 78 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 2: It looks uncomfortable. So hi everyone, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. 79 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 4: And is there going to kicking my drummings and recovering 80 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 4: backest we call show? 81 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 2: It is a little bit of a So it's a 82 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 2: little bit of a strange episode. You're probably already hearing, hmm, 83 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 2: there's something missing and I like it. I'm kidding, there's 84 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,719 Speaker 2: something missing and I and I don't like it. We 85 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 2: don't have Hayes today. Why did Hayes and I get 86 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 2: in a fight, is Hayes Okay, Hayes is fine. Yeah, 87 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 2: thanks so and so. And if I sound a little strange, 88 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 2: it's only because I got a batch of mouth ulcers 89 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 2: and I have sort of a patch that I've put 90 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 2: on them, so it makes. 91 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 3: It a little harder to move my mouth. Geez, great day. 92 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 2: To do the podcast by yourself. So, but I asked 93 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 2: for this. Hayes is fine, Everything's okay. What happened was, 94 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 2: I've gotten kind of a unique opportunity. I met someone 95 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 2: a few weeks ago who's from New York and we 96 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 2: all know that in New York is where they make 97 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 2: the show. 98 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 3: Sar and that. 99 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 2: It's comedy college. I feel like here at Earwolf, this 100 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 2: has been my comedy high school rock and roll high school. 101 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 2: Explain that because I think it's. 102 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 3: Kind of fun and it's like we have a cool energy. 103 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 5: You know. 104 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 3: Sometimes kids are pulling pranks at the back of the 105 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:39,599 Speaker 3: classroom and stuff. Yeah, you know, conversations of sneaking SIGs 106 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 3: from the parents or the older brothers. That's gonna Does 107 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 3: that help me get to my thing? Uh no, But 108 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 3: it's just a little context for the listener. I keep going. 109 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 2: Okay, So it's sort of been like comedy high school, 110 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 2: and uh yeah, we've been pantsing the teachers, right, yeah, 111 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 2: we've been spitting spitballs at at Chris Bannon in It 112 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 2: and Lex and Lex. But we've also been learning. And 113 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm ready to go to college and 114 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 2: get my degree. And that is SNL. So I meet 115 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 2: this guy from New York. He is one of these 116 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 2: pizza guys. He e'ts pizza. He is a real tough 117 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 2: New Yorker. He's got that thing about him. Well, I 118 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 2: don't have to keep. His name is Adam Pally and 119 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 2: so Palie and so Palli has told me that if 120 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 2: I give him a tape, he'll because he lives near SNL, 121 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 2: he'll slide it under the door. And I am allowed 122 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 2: to audition for the show. 123 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 3: And so I said to hey. 124 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 2: Hayes, I can't miss this. 125 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 3: This is too important. 126 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 2: Will you let me have one full episode of our 127 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 2: podcast to record it SNL audition? He of course said yes, 128 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 2: I'm busy. I've been meeting to go on a trip. 129 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 3: Anyway. 130 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 2: I don't even know where he went. 131 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 3: Do you know where he is Dubai? 132 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 2: I don't think so, so, uh wait, do it again? 133 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 2: I have something do Do you even know where he is? 134 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 3: Dubai? Yes, I'm asking you we should put that in 135 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 3: the in the audition. That could be good. 136 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 2: I think we're gonna have a lot of good stuff, 137 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,079 Speaker 2: so if there's room for it, that'll be great. Now 138 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:40,079 Speaker 2: I know normally Ryan engineer. Ryan, Hey, you're something of 139 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 2: an SNL super fan, is that right? 140 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 3: Oh? 141 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know the show inside and out. 142 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 6: I've been watching since since the beginning. 143 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, since the beginning the Tarren kill him years. 144 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 2: So so that is very helpful for us. So I'm 145 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 2: going to be leaning on you a little bit. And 146 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 2: also I know that the new contract says that the 147 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 2: engineers aren't allowed to edit our show at all, but 148 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 2: I'd love if you could even highlight for me. I 149 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 2: think I'm gonna try to do about two hundred to 150 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 2: two hundred and forty characters inspired by Twitter of course 151 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 2: sure during the course at the show, and my hope, 152 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 2: you know, my goal is that we get three or 153 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: four good ones out of this, and so if you 154 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 2: could highlight which ones really work for you, that would 155 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 2: be great. 156 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,319 Speaker 6: Okay, I'll let you know. 157 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 3: Okay, so that'll be good. 158 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 2: So I did have one one idea, and they usually 159 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 2: start the show and we can structure this a little 160 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 2: bit like an episode where it gets crazier and weirder 161 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 2: as it goes. They usually start the show with like 162 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 2: a big news story. Is there anything lately going on? Hm? 163 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 3: Is there anything in the news lately? What about that 164 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 3: person that called Trump a motherfucker? Okay, all right, kind 165 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 3: of edgy? Can even do that car chase last night? 166 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 3: Or a car chase? 167 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 2: So? Okay, so got a lot of options. So okay, 168 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 2: so we could do a car chase sketch. Okay, uh, 169 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 2: so that could be good. So I noticed they a 170 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 2: lot of times. That's good, right, that's helpful. So I 171 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 2: noticed that a lot of times they will use all 172 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 2: these political people. Yes, and then in the cold open especially, 173 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 2: they'll be the political view because they are doing news 174 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 2: and this is who's making the news. So could you 175 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 2: get me, Kevin, a list of the Senate? The Senate, 176 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 2: because yes, because that's the guys that are doing I 177 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 2: think the news a lot. Sure, But are there any 178 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,680 Speaker 2: senators that you think I could pull off that maybe 179 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 2: could be doing this news car chase thing? 180 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 3: Okay? How about Ron Johnson from Wisconsin? Perfect? 181 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 2: Ron Johnson from Wisconsin. A, Wisconsin, A, you want some 182 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 2: maple syrup. So we've got a little bit of a 183 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 2: wheelhouse for Lauren. Yeah, Laurena'll like this, okay, and so 184 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 2: U Ryan, anything about the car chase in particular, I 185 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,439 Speaker 2: should work into this sketch. 186 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,319 Speaker 3: Its slow, Okay, it's it's really slow. 187 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 6: Like I got out of the car very slowly at. 188 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 2: Then Okay, no spoilers, huh, all right, and I'll do 189 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 2: news man. We go live now to Ron Johnson from Wisconsin, 190 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 2: who is watching the car chase and he's gonna talk 191 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 2: about it as me. Rod Johnson, Hey, I'm gonna talk 192 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 2: to now. Throw it to somebody else, another senator to 193 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:09,680 Speaker 2: get one, Get. 194 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 3: One, okay, Doug Jones from Alabama. 195 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: It's me Doug Jones. 196 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 4: I'm watching this riggid guy driving around all crazy. 197 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw it to somebody else. Give me a 198 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,199 Speaker 2: lady I can show my range. 199 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:30,960 Speaker 3: Lady, Lady, lady Jerry Lisa Murkowski from Arkansas. It's me Lisa. 200 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 2: Okay, give me a different one. I don't want to 201 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 2: be too dicey too. 202 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 3: Patty Murray from Washington one not another lady, okay, Rand Paul, Hey, 203 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 3: it's me Rand I'm watching the car chase here. 204 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 2: Okay, uh wait, no, no, no, no, no, hang on, this 205 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 2: is something I noticed they really say on car chases. 206 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 2: He appears to be trying to evade the officers. It's 207 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:03,199 Speaker 2: in no real plan. He just seems to be trying 208 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 2: to get away. No way to know exactly what's going 209 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 2: on inside his head in that vehicle. He's driving erradically. 210 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 2: There he goes on the wrong side of the street. Okay, 211 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 2: and that was close. That was close. He was on 212 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 2: the wrong side of the street. He was And he 213 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 2: seems to not want to be captured by police, and 214 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 2: he's driving in a way to not get caught by them. 215 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 3: Yes, I've noticed that too. 216 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 2: He's driving faster than they are and in the opposite 217 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 2: way of how they're going. And when he sees one, 218 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 2: he'll turn almost as if to get away from them. 219 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,199 Speaker 3: Yes, he doesn't want it. 220 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 2: And again I don't want to speculate as to his 221 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 2: state of mind. I'm not an expert. I don't know 222 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 2: the man driving the vehicle, but it seems to me 223 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 2: he doesn't want to be captured by cops for doing crimes, 224 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 2: and he just threw something out the window. Maybe it 225 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 2: was a crime, maybe it was Maybe it was, and 226 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 2: so he didn't want to have that in the car, 227 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,680 Speaker 2: so he got it out of the wind. And again 228 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 2: I don't want to I don't I'm not friends with 229 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,719 Speaker 2: this man. He's not my dad, we don't know each other. 230 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 2: So I don't want to say, hey, I know this 231 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 2: guy better than anybody, and I'm not I'm so much 232 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 2: smarter than you. But as somebody who is pretty smart, 233 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 2: I think. 234 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 3: Oh, you're really smart. 235 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, as somebody who's pretty smart, I want to say 236 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 2: it kind of seems like he's hoping they don't get 237 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 2: they don't do trouble on him for doing a bad crime. Okay, 238 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 2: So that's the car chase sketch. Then it was good, boom, 239 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 2: and then we'll go into the monologue. Sure, first we'll 240 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 2: do the opening credits where we're were, And what do 241 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 2: you guys think I should be doing in the opening 242 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 2: credits in terms of like a cool New York activity? 243 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 2: What here's an idea, first first thought, and give me feedback. 244 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 3: Okay. 245 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 2: One of the cast men, whoever you want, Pete Davidson 246 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 2: or whatever is is in a handsome cab like a 247 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 2: horse and carriage is riding in it. We pan forward, 248 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 2: who's pulling the handsome cab? It's not a horse, it's me. 249 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 2: That's good, you know what I mean. And we're having 250 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 2: a little fun with it because I notice a lot 251 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 2: of the time in the opening credits they're looking sexy 252 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 2: and cool in New York. But we're missing an opportunity 253 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 2: for a joke of like, hey, let's face it, yeah, 254 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 2: I'm kind of like a horse. Well I can say it, 255 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 2: you can say it. 256 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 6: Will you be dressed like a horse? 257 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 2: Well, this is well, great question, Ryan, and this is 258 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 2: why I brought you in because you are the SNL master. 259 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 2: What do you think they would do? They have a 260 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 2: big costume budget. 261 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, I would dress like a horse. 262 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 3: Dressed like a horse, great idea. 263 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 2: So I should be dressed like a horse, but not 264 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 2: so much that you don't know it's me, right, because 265 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 2: it will probably put my name on the screen or something. Okay, 266 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:12,800 Speaker 2: So I'll be dressed partially like a horse and pulling it. Now, 267 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 2: did you guys have a different New York idea? 268 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 3: Similar? Also a horse pulling Pete Davidson. But then we 269 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 3: pnd the other direction and you're on a skateboard behind it, 270 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 3: like holding on to it. I'm skitching. Yeah, you're skitching. 271 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 3: I'm skitching, and you're going I'm sketching. 272 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 2: Don't tell pea, huh, I'm getting a free ride exactly. 273 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 2: That's badass. I was thinking also, just to be a 274 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 2: little more current. Close on the sexy duck. There's a 275 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 2: famous sexy matter duck that lives in New York. Right now, 276 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 2: the Sexy Duck turns to camera and then appears to 277 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 2: levitate off the pond as you realize the sexy duck 278 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 2: is just a hat that I've been wearing as I've 279 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 2: been like breathing through a read and I come out 280 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 2: of the water and I'm like, sh don't you tell 281 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 2: anybody now. So that's some of the stuff I'll do 282 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 2: in the opening credits. And maybe I have maybe it 283 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,400 Speaker 2: is a maybe it's triplet, mm hmm. 284 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 3: They don't usually do that for a brand new cast member. 285 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 2: But maybe it's a it's a triplet where we're doing, 286 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 2: or a trip dick. Maybe it's the screen is in 287 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: thirds and you see each of my little mini sketches 288 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 2: and you're already ready to laugh on this. Now we're 289 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 2: gonna have the host come out and do a monologue. 290 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 2: So one of the things I wanted to work on 291 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 2: was casually talking to famous people during their monologue, like 292 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 2: interrupting their monologue to ask them a question. So, like, say, 293 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 2: somebody who you think would host? 294 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:56,679 Speaker 3: John Cena? 295 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 2: John Cena is hosting, so so you bet John Cena 296 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 2: coming out and being like, I'm so excited to host SNL. 297 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:10,159 Speaker 3: Hey everyone, all right, John Cena, Yes, we got a 298 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 3: great show tonight. We're gonna have so much fun. 299 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 7: Hey. 300 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,920 Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys, Hey John, Hey, Sean, Hey, 301 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 2: how was your summer? 302 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 3: Man? Ah, it was good. I went on a great vacation. 303 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 3: Case that's yeah. And I feel like this is something 304 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 3: So you're you're asking just a nice question. 305 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 2: So well hang on because it's this is how they 306 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 2: do a lot of these. Yeah. So, so say somebody 307 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 2: else that you think would host? 308 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 3: Okay, do like do like Patty Patricia Heaton? Okay, Patricia Heaton? Okay? 309 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 2: And you be and Ryan do you want to be 310 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 2: Patricia Heaton? 311 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 6: I don't know who that is, but yeah, should I 312 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 6: google them really fast? 313 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 3: Sure? Sure? Sure. 314 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,199 Speaker 2: She was in the reboot of The Goodbye Girl. I 315 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,120 Speaker 2: don't know what that comes. 316 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 6: Okay, go ahead, Hey, it's Patricia Heaton here from. 317 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 2: Hey, Hey, hey, Patricia, Sorry to interrupt. They're gonna be 318 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 2: and everybody loves Raymond reboot? 319 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 3: Oh that's who I am? Have you thought about doing it? 320 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 2: Okay? She wouldn't say that necessarily. Whoa you know what 321 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 2: I mean that she wouldn't necessarily say that. But this 322 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 2: is the kind of thing they do a lot where 323 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 2: you know, it's part of the way through the monologue 324 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 2: and then a cast member and it's nice because you 325 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 2: get to learn their names. Because Patrica Heaton, you should 326 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 2: have done what Kevin did, which Kevin very good job, 327 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 2: is going Oh hey, Sean, what's going on? And I go, hey, 328 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,960 Speaker 2: I gotta ask. I love everybody those room. I've seen 329 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 2: them all a hundred times. Are you guys gonna do 330 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 2: a reboot? Ever? 331 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 3: Yeah? And she goes, I don't know. 332 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: I guess that'd be up to Ray and then Ray 333 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,200 Speaker 2: Romano stands up with the old. 334 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 3: Send it's up to me. Yeah, how's it up to me? 335 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 2: You know, I asked you to do it last week 336 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,920 Speaker 2: and then she goes, well, I can't do it because 337 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,880 Speaker 2: Brad Garrett doesn't want to do it, and then Brad 338 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 2: goes excuse me, and he's like he's like, no, young, 339 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 2: no way, and then everybody who. 340 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 3: And then you know, so on and so forth. 341 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 6: Was she the mom in the middle was yeah, oh yeah, yeah, no, 342 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 6: I know who. 343 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:32,359 Speaker 2: She is now, Yeah, the Middle. I don't think I'm 344 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 2: going to ask her to reboot that one because it's 345 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,439 Speaker 2: too soon. Yeah, we're we're saying I'm still on the 346 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,640 Speaker 2: show in ten fifteen years. Okay, let's do it. Let's 347 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 2: bring Patty in. I'll ask her if she wants to 348 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 2: reboot the Middle. So these are some good monologue pieces. 349 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 2: What else might a cas remember we doing during the monologue? 350 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 3: Maybe he has like a song or a dance number 351 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 3: where you could come in and join them right right right, 352 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 3: So say somebody else whom I host? Okay, Dwayne the 353 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,159 Speaker 3: Rock Johnson? Okay, so it's all restless for you. 354 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 2: I had an idea that The Rock could be doing 355 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 2: one of his direct to camera Instagram videos where he 356 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 2: goes like, hey, it's four in the morning, I just 357 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 2: got off set. These people have been waiting out to 358 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 2: see me. There. They've been waiting on the corner for 359 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 2: about seven hours. I'm gonna drive by there and give 360 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 2: him a little bit of a thrill. And they've been 361 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,679 Speaker 2: waiting here all night. Hey, guys, get the fuck out 362 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 2: of my way. I'm fucking with him. I'm fucking with 363 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 2: I'm fucking with No. I love you that I fuck 364 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 2: with my fans. Okay, hey guys, no, seriously, come on, 365 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 2: let's talk. And So what he'll do is he looks crazed. 366 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 2: He's been up for, he's been up for and everyone 367 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 2: he's been up for about thirty six hours. 368 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 3: Huh. 369 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 2: He shows you a little bit that he's like a 370 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 2: human being and a fun guy by having exactly one 371 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 2: swear early on and doing some sort of semi prank 372 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,200 Speaker 2: on a fan before he then shows you that he 373 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,880 Speaker 2: loves his fans and is a nice guy. 374 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, what if he's doing a Instagram video where he's 375 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 3: gonna meet his fan, who he assume has been waiting 376 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 3: for thirty six hours. But it's just like you eating 377 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 3: like a slice of pizza or something. 378 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: That could be good if people knew these Instagram videos 379 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 2: as well as I'm hoping they do. Just for me 380 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 2: to have even brought it up, Yeah, that could work. 381 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:28,920 Speaker 2: So it's the rock he comes out, he goes, hey, 382 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 2: it's so great to be hosting SNL. And I always 383 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 2: love being in front of a live audience because so often, 384 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,440 Speaker 2: you know, I'm working on a set and I've got 385 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 2: the cameras there, and I don't get to talk directly 386 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 2: to my fans, and so I'm just gonna come down 387 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,639 Speaker 2: and just face to face meet some of my fans 388 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 2: and hey, you, buddy, Hey, how'd you like an autograph 389 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:50,920 Speaker 2: from the Rock? And I go, excuse me, I'm reading 390 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:55,640 Speaker 2: my newspaper. That's good, And that's newspaper man. He could 391 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 2: be in a lot of other stuff. Yep, let me 392 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:02,200 Speaker 2: write that down. Newspaper mans, paper man. Okay, hang on, 393 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:08,199 Speaker 2: newspaper man, newspaper man, news paper. 394 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 3: Paper that's good. 395 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 2: So that's really good. So so that's two birds one stone, 396 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 2: because that's the that's the Rock and it's newspaper man. 397 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 2: And and that was me not just casually talking and 398 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 2: going like hey, how is your summer, or like are 399 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 2: you gonna reboot your show? Or like hey, settle something 400 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 2: between me and uh and and Kyle, Like that's something 401 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 2: they might do. 402 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 3: Like you're coming out and you're being the Rock. 403 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 2: And you're going like, Hey, I can't wait. This is 404 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,360 Speaker 2: my dream to host SNL and I go the rock? 405 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,320 Speaker 2: Can you, Dwane? Can you settle a bet between me 406 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 2: and Kyle? Can you bench press a bus? 407 00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 3: Guys? 408 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,640 Speaker 2: Guys, guys, I'm in the middle of trying to host. Yeah, well, 409 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,919 Speaker 2: hold on the Kyle says that you can, and I 410 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 2: say that, no way, you can actually bench press two buses? Guys, 411 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 2: I'm very strong. I don't know if I can bench 412 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 2: press a bus. Come on, Dwayne, and that might be 413 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 2: something that we would do. 414 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 3: Okay. 415 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 2: So now we're through the monologue. Yeah, it's time for 416 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:25,639 Speaker 2: a sketch. I'm gonna have to showcase some characters. Sure, Okay, 417 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 2: I guess what I want to do. Okay, let's start 418 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 2: out first. We gotta do celebrities. Usually they want like 419 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,920 Speaker 2: three celebrities and three original characters. 420 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 3: Okay. 421 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,320 Speaker 2: So the first celebrity I'm gonna do is Lyle from 422 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 2: the show Escape at Dana Mora. Did you watch Escape 423 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 2: at Dana Mora? 424 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:46,600 Speaker 8: Uh? 425 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 3: Interesting, No, I've never heard of it. Okay. 426 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 2: Escape at Dana Mora was Itt Star, Pernicio del Toro, 427 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,640 Speaker 2: Paul Dano, Patricia Arquette, and this discovery this man who 428 00:24:55,640 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 2: played Patricia Arcatt's husband Lyle. Yeah, Patricia and Lyle work 429 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 2: together at a prison. She her character Tilly, is having 430 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 2: an affair with some of the inmates there and wants 431 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 2: to you know, gets caught up in this scheme to 432 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 2: help them escape. True story happened in upstate New York. 433 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 2: So this is Lyle from Escape at Dana Mora, the 434 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 2: Showtime limited series. I was thinking we could eat it 435 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:35,440 Speaker 2: kings Walk tonight, Kelly King's Walk, Kelly Kings Walk, Where 436 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 2: are you thinking? Chinese King's Walk? 437 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 3: So that is Lyle from Escape with Danimorro. 438 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 2: I think Venicio del Toro, No no, no, no no, 439 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 2: But I will do Benicio del Toro from Usual Suspects. Now, 440 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 2: his character's name was Bencedo. Ye, who'll Phibio Phibi for real? 441 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 2: That's that's Beniso to Toro and the Usual Suspects of 442 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 2: a film from nineteen ninety six. 443 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 3: Okay, I saw that one good. 444 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 2: I already did some senators. Okay, here's an idea I had. 445 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,639 Speaker 2: So obviously they don't need me to do Trump now 446 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 2: because Baldwin does Trump. Yeah, but do they need me 447 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 2: to do Baldwin doing Trump? Whoa Yeah, So sometimes these 448 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 2: sketches can get a little bit meta, and what if 449 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:32,439 Speaker 2: we kind of get inside it and I come in 450 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:37,679 Speaker 2: as Baldwin playing Trump in one of the SNL sketches. Now, 451 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,719 Speaker 2: they've been in a little bit of hot water because 452 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 2: they've done some stuff that implies that, I'll that Donald 453 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 2: Trump and Vladimir Putin are having a sexual affair. So funny, Kevin. 454 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 2: I'm not going to say that I agree or disagree. 455 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say they've gotten in trouble for that. Okay, Okay, 456 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 2: we want to stay away from that, got. 457 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 3: It, but. 458 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 2: We still got to apply it, you know what I mean. Like, 459 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,639 Speaker 2: we don't want to do anything explicit. We want to 460 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,160 Speaker 2: do something that walks the line where if someone does 461 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 2: post a comment on a Twitter that says, like SNL, 462 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:28,199 Speaker 2: can you please stop the sort of homophobic stuff where 463 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 2: your way to kind of insult Trump and Putin is 464 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 2: that they are gay together. 465 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 3: And then. 466 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 2: We want it to be in a spot where someone 467 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 2: can come underneath what are you even seeing? You're bringing 468 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 2: that to it? Sure they just were shirtless coming out 469 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,880 Speaker 2: of a bedroom together with their arms around each other, 470 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? And then it's like, Okay, well, 471 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 2: I guess technically they didn't ever say so, this is 472 00:27:55,040 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 2: going to be Baldwin doing Trump talking to Putin, and 473 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,439 Speaker 2: it's not explicit about them having some kind of sexual affair. 474 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 2: But of course, because it's impossibly funny, yes, we want 475 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 2: to kind of hint at it, mister Putin, mister Putin, 476 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 2: you you're the best white Russian I ever drank with. 477 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 3: Oh nice that say oh that was good? Say well? 478 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 2: And it was enough, yes, And it was enough for 479 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 2: all of the disgusting people to enjoy it. Yes, and 480 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 2: also for all of the cry babies to have to 481 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 2: back off. Speaking of which, I thought one of my 482 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,719 Speaker 2: characters this isn't technically a celebrity, but could just be 483 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 2: a millennial. That's fine, And I've got a baby bottle 484 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,760 Speaker 2: at a pacifier and I need someone to change my. 485 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:11,719 Speaker 3: Where's my trophy? 486 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 2: I walked from here to over there by myself. Where's 487 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 2: my trophy? I only felt down once. That's my millennial character. 488 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 2: Could be good, could be good. 489 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 3: On the on the Trump character, real quick, Yeah, go 490 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 3: for it. What if you also played the actor who's 491 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 3: playing Putin at the same time, If that's possible, Well. 492 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 2: Beck usually does that okay? Beck's cast member. Yes, that 493 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 2: Bob was not a cast member. Yeah, you know, I 494 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 2: know it feels like one. Yeah, because he's so fucking good, 495 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 2: but technically is not a remember the cast So I 496 00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 2: think that's dangerous. Yeah, that could be its own batch 497 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 2: of Hollyweo. I don't want to get into it with 498 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 2: Beck Beckspin on the show. Peck's a friend. So and also, 499 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 2: I'm not afraid of doing Trump better than Baldwin does. 500 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 2: Nobody's gonna out out Trump that guy. Yeah, me doing 501 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 2: Baldwin doing Trump, there's always gonna be a layer of 502 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 2: removal where you I'm not fully disappeared into the character 503 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,480 Speaker 2: the way that he is. I can't do that thing 504 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 2: with my mouth. I mean, the thing he does with 505 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 2: his mouth is it's so subtle, but you can see 506 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 2: it and it is and it's. 507 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 3: And it's Trump. 508 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 2: It is and it's pure Trump. 509 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 3: So that's not dangerous to me. 510 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,040 Speaker 2: Beck, who's an excellent actor, who's a very funny comedian 511 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 2: who I really like, does a good job with Putin. 512 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 2: I have a fear that I would do it even better. 513 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,680 Speaker 2: It's a good fair There is a room. There's a 514 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,200 Speaker 2: little bit of room to come over the top on 515 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 2: him because he's he's bread thin on that show. Balbin 516 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 2: only has one job. Yeah, show up, do trump, be 517 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 2: perfect at it, and go home. Beck sometimes get change 518 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 2: in from another character and he comes in and he's 519 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 2: carried something from the last sketch in. So if I'm 520 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 2: in here and I do a better putin, I'll put 521 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,040 Speaker 2: my man out of a job. So that's why it's 522 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 2: a good suggestion, Kevin. But it's a very bad suggestion. 523 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 524 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 2: So one of my celebrity characters I was thinking could 525 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 2: be and this is sort of a show offye thing, 526 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,640 Speaker 2: the guy from Split. The reason I think that the 527 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 2: guy from Split could be pretty impressive is because you're 528 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 2: really doing like thirteen characters, are you? 529 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 3: Yeah? 530 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 2: Now, I have not seen Split to date. I've seen 531 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 2: the trailer for Glass. He's so insane that he's very strong, 532 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 2: but I haven't seen Split itself, And I wonder if 533 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 2: you could tell me what some of the characters are 534 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 2: and I'll just take a crack at him, okay, because 535 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 2: he's got what twelve personalities? 536 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,280 Speaker 3: Thirteen personalities? 537 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 2: Yes, I know, I'm not gonna do the beast for 538 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 2: my audition tape that's just that's oh and bad tape. 539 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 6: We're okay, the last King of Scotland guy, Yeah, I 540 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:20,640 Speaker 6: saw that one. 541 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 2: Okay, so there wanted no freaking curve a bullet around person. 542 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 3: Oh that was awesome. 543 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 2: It kicks ass. 544 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 3: Yeah like in the Metrix. 545 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 6: No, no, not even like the bullet went in a 546 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:37,920 Speaker 6: straight line in that one. 547 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, thank you. 548 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,600 Speaker 6: He's gonna be in his dark materials cool. 549 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:49,120 Speaker 2: Mmm yeah, the Ryan Show. Everybody, it's supposed to be 550 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 2: helping me. So what are some of the characters he does. 551 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 3: Kevin and his split personalities. Okay, so there's Barry, the 552 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,360 Speaker 3: personality of a lamboyant fashion expert working. 553 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do that one. 554 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 3: Sure, there's Dennis uh more disturbing personalities. Dennis is temperamental 555 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 3: and has a perverted liking for watching young girls dance naked. 556 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,320 Speaker 2: Should he give that? 557 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 3: Sure? Patricia a sophisticated, orderly, and polite woman who has 558 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 3: considerable command over some of the other personalities. 559 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 2: No, Dennis, don't you do that. Barry, you back off 560 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 2: as well. You Dennis and Berry are big too naughty. 561 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:39,040 Speaker 3: Oh this is a good one, yeh. Hedwig the personality 562 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 3: of a nine year old boy with several several compulsive behaviors, 563 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 3: such as proclaiming that he has red socks. 564 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 5: I have read socks on, I got red socks on. 565 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 5: Look at my wed socks? Hey, what call my socks are? 566 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 5: Do you want to know what call my socks are? 567 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 2: The wed? 568 00:33:59,200 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 3: Don't you think they? 569 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:04,760 Speaker 2: That sucks? Oh? And I have uther actual personality tweets 570 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,840 Speaker 2: two compulsive ones too. 571 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,399 Speaker 3: That could be funny because now, no, young Hedwig, get 572 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:15,400 Speaker 3: you stop stop it with the sucks nonsense. Okay, maybe 573 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 3: like Trump's give trying to give a speech, but Hedwig 574 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 3: keeps like interrupting. Okay, so you do? 575 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,320 Speaker 2: So? Do Trump do bob when doing Trump? 576 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 3: Uh? So the country's actually really good question? 577 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:38,800 Speaker 2: Mister Trump. Yes, little boy, I'm Patricia, mister Trump. Mister Trump, yes, 578 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 2: little boy. Do you think that your wed hat just 579 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 2: to axe from my wet sucks? 580 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 3: Uh? I'm sorry, that's rude. That's the president. Show some respect, 581 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:55,359 Speaker 3: thank you, mister Trump. Yes, I'm I'm trying to give 582 00:34:55,600 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 3: what's up? Okay, that's just it's very distract me. Another 583 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 3: one okay? Or well? Uh? The man of an introverted 584 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 3: and highly intelligent man of the personality of an intelligent man. 585 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 2: Does it say introverted because I'll be able to do yes, yes, 586 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 2: excuse me. I'm reading my newspaper, so that a little nod, 587 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,759 Speaker 2: a little wink to newspaper man, and the crowd goes 588 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:28,800 Speaker 2: fucking nuts. 589 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 3: Uh that's most of them. Let me write that down. 590 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:39,759 Speaker 2: Actually, newspaper man orwell Will be like a newspaper man introverted, 591 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:46,520 Speaker 2: so he's the newspaper man. Newspaper man or Will is 592 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 2: like the newspaper man. Okay, okay, here's just a sketch 593 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 2: idea sure, Okay, bird box. I can't see. 594 00:35:59,040 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 3: In bird box. 595 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 2: I can't see mm hmmm, in quiet place, they can't talk. 596 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,239 Speaker 2: What's next? The scary Smells Show. 597 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,319 Speaker 3: I feel like I've seen a lot of people make 598 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,600 Speaker 3: a similar joke. 599 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 6: I've only heard jokes about taste, smell, smells. 600 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess I haven't seen any about cant Hey, 601 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,919 Speaker 2: whatever you do, don't put this monster in your mouth. Hey, 602 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 2: nobody smelled the monster. 603 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:29,839 Speaker 6: That's that's much better. 604 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, plug your nose. That everybody's got a clothes pin 605 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 2: on their noses. Step of blindfold. 606 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 3: That's funny. 607 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 2: I'm taking it off. I've got a cold. Okay, So 608 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 2: uh oh. I had another sort of more current sketch idea. 609 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,120 Speaker 3: So I was thinking you could. 610 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 2: Play Louis c K. 611 00:36:54,800 --> 00:37:00,160 Speaker 3: Uh So, So here's the idea. It's so cute, so 612 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 3: this will be good. 613 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,919 Speaker 2: So I've got a sort of store, a reasonable store 614 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,440 Speaker 2: employee character I want to showcase a little bit, and 615 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 2: I thought it could be good if you played Louis 616 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,839 Speaker 2: c K. So here's the So I'm just gonna give 617 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 2: you your line. So you're Louis c K and you're 618 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 2: trying to return a mask to the mask store. 619 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 3: So all you got to say. 620 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 2: Is, I'd like him. I'd like to return this mask. 621 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 2: I'd like a full refund, okay, and get and get 622 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,319 Speaker 2: your voice down where he is. 623 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 3: I'd like to return this mask. 624 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 2: I'd like I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm I'm sorry, sir. 625 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 2: We can't accept this mask, but I want a full 626 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,880 Speaker 2: reef because we can't we we can't accept this mask. 627 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 3: It's got egg on it. 628 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,879 Speaker 2: Because you've gott an egg on your face a bit, 629 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 2: wouldn't you agree, sir? 630 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 3: That's I mean, it's true. I guess yeah, yeah. I 631 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 3: think it could be funny too if if I came 632 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,480 Speaker 3: in as Louis and then said excuse me, and you 633 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 3: just went get out, get out, and then it like ended. 634 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,880 Speaker 2: Or you could be trying to return your jokes to 635 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,920 Speaker 2: the joke store. Yeah, I won't wait wait, I have 636 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 2: may I return these? 637 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 3: They didn't? 638 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:16,960 Speaker 2: And I go and what's the reason for the return? 639 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 2: I need to write it down for corporate. What's the 640 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 2: reason for the return? You go? They didn't do they 641 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 2: they had some issues. Okay, so that's the Louis ketches. 642 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 2: Thank you for talking Louis some Well that would be 643 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 2: good because in a way SNL would be providing cover 644 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:42,840 Speaker 2: for it's Louis because they they would be indirectly applying 645 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,960 Speaker 2: to the American public that he had purchased the jokes 646 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 2: at like a department store, and so anyone who was upset, 647 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,799 Speaker 2: yeah could just be like, well, I mean I bought 648 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 2: something that I just thought. I thought it looked good, 649 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,879 Speaker 2: and then when I got home, I was like, I'm 650 00:38:55,880 --> 00:39:00,439 Speaker 2: not going to use this. Okay, So now I think 651 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,360 Speaker 2: I should do like a rapid fire list of characters. 652 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,200 Speaker 2: So I'm gonna need some time. I didn't really prepare anything. 653 00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:11,719 Speaker 2: Uh so I was hoping that you guys what I 654 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,160 Speaker 2: want to have you do is can you just buy 655 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,400 Speaker 2: me some time maybe to you talk about your new 656 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:17,960 Speaker 2: Year's resolutions or something like. 657 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,120 Speaker 3: That, and I will. 658 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 2: Just write down some stuff I see in the room 659 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,040 Speaker 2: and some random words and then create characters from that. 660 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 3: Okay, Uh, so, like, what are your new Year's resolutions? Ryan? 661 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:33,719 Speaker 1: Uh? 662 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,759 Speaker 6: But you're going to try and release some music this year? 663 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 3: Whoa, it's probably really inappropriate, Like why why would you 664 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 3: release that? You must have something huge to say if 665 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 3: you if you wanted to release. 666 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,240 Speaker 6: That, there's no words in it. 667 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,839 Speaker 3: That's so fucked up. 668 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 6: I can't believe it is not did not release anything. 669 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:07,120 Speaker 3: I mean, if you're thinking about releasing it, I've already 670 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,360 Speaker 3: God knows what you've done. 671 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:12,799 Speaker 2: For me. 672 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:16,600 Speaker 3: I'm working on my handwriting. It's been bad growing up 673 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 3: and kind of late in life. You know, figured I 674 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,680 Speaker 3: could try something new. 675 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:28,240 Speaker 6: You know it helps with better handwriting. Is a better pen? Okay, 676 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 6: that worked for me. 677 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 3: You know it helps with better music. Is words. But 678 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 3: I guess this is the part where we're giving out. 679 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,000 Speaker 2: So okay, so this is better than what I have. 680 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,440 Speaker 2: I may want you guys to keep going, so we 681 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 2: might cut this out. Okay, So this is just you know, 682 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,520 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do some characters. Stop me if there's a 683 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 2: bad one, and we'll talk about it. Okay, we'll talk 684 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 2: about it. I should have stopped you out, Louis, but 685 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 2: let's go you. 686 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:58,120 Speaker 3: That was your character. 687 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,000 Speaker 2: You're right, that was your character. I should have stop myself, 688 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 2: phil Louis. Yeah, that's good. But you can't help yourself, 689 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,840 Speaker 2: and neither can he. So so here are the characters, 690 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 2: and I'm just gonna run through them, and if there's 691 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,319 Speaker 2: one that doesn't feel right, go ahead and stop me. 692 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,520 Speaker 2: And all right, I'll just say the name, and then 693 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 2: I'll and then i'll do a little bit of the 694 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:29,880 Speaker 2: character professor math number logically, Razor ramone. This one's for you, 695 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 2: Kevin nice A. There's a character. 696 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,359 Speaker 3: Named Virgin Johnny. That was it. 697 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:44,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, character named Virgin Johnny. I never even seen a 698 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,920 Speaker 2: freaking person's thingy before. 699 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:50,480 Speaker 3: This is his brother, slutty Jimmy. 700 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 6: But he doesn't even know what he likes in general. 701 00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:59,000 Speaker 2: He hadn't seen their thingy before this, Slutty Jimmy. 702 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:00,880 Speaker 3: I feel like I want to stop you at this. 703 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:02,799 Speaker 3: I'll go let's hear it. 704 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, show me your freaking thing Okay. 705 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,799 Speaker 3: What do you think? What's up? I don't love it. 706 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,279 Speaker 3: You don't love it because we don't have to do 707 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:13,799 Speaker 3: all of them. 708 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I feel like, if we're going to do 709 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,680 Speaker 2: Virgin Johnny, we want to show the other side of 710 00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:19,280 Speaker 2: that coin. 711 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:20,360 Speaker 3: That's true. 712 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:24,040 Speaker 2: These two men are inextricably linked. 713 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:25,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 714 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,839 Speaker 3: I mean, just as there is no darkness without light. 715 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,600 Speaker 3: Maybe I'm slut shaming Slutty Jimmy too. 716 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,080 Speaker 2: I think so, and he's trying to own it. 717 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:38,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not well. My fear is like it 718 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:42,640 Speaker 3: might be like pervy. Yeah, but he sounds like, yeah, innocent. 719 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:44,200 Speaker 3: I don't know. 720 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,959 Speaker 2: He's asking for something, but it is an appropriate question. 721 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,840 Speaker 2: So depending on the environment, it might not be. 722 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:53,520 Speaker 3: Okay, sure, it depends on the environment. Slutty Jimmy comment. 723 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's a contingency for you on getting the 724 00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:02,400 Speaker 2: right setting for him to say show me. Okay, this 725 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 2: is fonsie A. 726 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,760 Speaker 3: All right. This guy's name he was kind of similar 727 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,719 Speaker 3: to Razor Ramon. I don't see it. 728 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 2: Okay, Okay. This one's guy's name is trash Man Daryl H. 729 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,279 Speaker 3: Hey, sorry to wake you. 730 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,319 Speaker 2: I know it's very early, but I noticed you've been 731 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:24,880 Speaker 2: throwing out a lot of chicken bones lately. I just 732 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,520 Speaker 2: wanted to say I like chicken too. 733 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:30,960 Speaker 3: It's kind of romantic. 734 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,200 Speaker 2: What do you think about that? It's beautiful? Yeah? That 735 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:36,400 Speaker 2: one Ryan, you're an SNL expert. Does that seem like 736 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:36,960 Speaker 2: what they do? 737 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:38,640 Speaker 6: Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 738 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:39,960 Speaker 2: Trash man Daryl is good? 739 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:41,480 Speaker 3: All right, So I'll put a. 740 00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:46,480 Speaker 2: Freaking star next to that. This is Jeff Goldblum. A. 741 00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 2: This guy's name is King Gold. You got any cash 742 00:43:54,680 --> 00:44:00,960 Speaker 2: on you? Do you have any cash on you? 743 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,160 Speaker 3: Uh? Sorry? 744 00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:05,800 Speaker 2: It was gold? 745 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:15,120 Speaker 3: Oh uh? This is a drunk bartender. Jesus Christ. 746 00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,240 Speaker 2: Do you guys try this stuff? 747 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,200 Speaker 3: I like that one makes you feel insane. 748 00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,560 Speaker 2: I'm like, are you'ing nauseous? You drink this? 749 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:24,760 Speaker 3: Okay? 750 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 2: This is uh pin Head from the Hell Raids or 751 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:36,520 Speaker 2: Movies doing a commercial for darts. These darts are huge? Okay, 752 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:40,880 Speaker 2: this is this don't really get that one? Why do you? 753 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:41,799 Speaker 3: What's the matter? 754 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,359 Speaker 6: But there? Because he's got pins in his head. 755 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 3: His whole face is covered in pins. 756 00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you think he should be putting the darts 757 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:50,719 Speaker 2: in instead? 758 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,000 Speaker 6: By the size of the dart, well, I think it's 759 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,280 Speaker 6: just a selling point for it. Like he knows plenty things. 760 00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 2: I think what happened is it's almost like pin I 761 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,200 Speaker 2: think on set is a little bit difficult to control. Probably, Yeah, 762 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:12,000 Speaker 2: he's someone who is extremely aware of the almost symbiotic 763 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:18,880 Speaker 2: relationship between pleasure and pain, but is maybe unaware of 764 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:24,759 Speaker 2: how a commercial set functions, and that the client at 765 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,960 Speaker 2: the end of the day has a lot more control 766 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:30,560 Speaker 2: than the artists on set. So the director may have 767 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,640 Speaker 2: a vision for it, but that doesn't matter if they're 768 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:33,400 Speaker 2: not making. 769 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,839 Speaker 6: The client happen. It's just thinking about where he's going 770 00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,800 Speaker 6: to stick this start and whether it's. 771 00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 2: Sachi and Sachi or Ogilvian Mather. But it doesn't really 772 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:46,319 Speaker 2: matter because the dark Company is going to want to 773 00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,719 Speaker 2: get him saying something purely positive, pinheads thinking where can 774 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 2: I stick it? They got him, I believe, making an 775 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,560 Speaker 2: offhand comment just about the size of the dart and thought, 776 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,120 Speaker 2: this is the most positive thing we had. Yeah, and 777 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,400 Speaker 2: he's and and he's a good spokesperson in theory, and 778 00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:04,520 Speaker 2: that's a positive thing. 779 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,200 Speaker 6: If he's like, well, this is a big dark because like. 780 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, this think's heavy. Yeah, like he knows, man, this 781 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,399 Speaker 2: thing is pretty heavy. Yeah, you like the hell Raser 782 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:14,600 Speaker 2: movies them. 783 00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, well figured the first one I figured on 784 00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:18,399 Speaker 6: a little bit. 785 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,920 Speaker 3: Should what's good though the book it was based mm 786 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,240 Speaker 3: hmm it feels like The Ryan Show again. 787 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:33,400 Speaker 2: Hang on, okay, here, Captain Crunch, I'll sponsor your web series. Okay. 788 00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:40,040 Speaker 2: This character's name is Sergeant splashed Out Soldiers have fun 789 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,799 Speaker 2: on them slides. There is a doctor ken A. 790 00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:46,040 Speaker 3: Okay. 791 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:47,960 Speaker 2: This next one is a guy who drinks from a 792 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:53,440 Speaker 2: fire hose. But hang on, he actually just pours like 793 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,080 Speaker 2: juice or water into the end of the host and 794 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:57,520 Speaker 2: SIPs it. 795 00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:59,040 Speaker 3: So that's his thing. 796 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,040 Speaker 2: Hey, thanks for being so understanding by me bringing this 797 00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,919 Speaker 2: hose in your restaurant. I think a lot of times 798 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,279 Speaker 2: people are nervous. I'm gonna like blast myself with it. 799 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 2: You know that's crazy. I'd get hurt. Glug look click click. Okay. 800 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,920 Speaker 2: This next one is this is cookie monster on a 801 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:24,040 Speaker 2: date at a fancy restaurant. Sorry, let me just uh 802 00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:33,840 Speaker 2: look at the menu. Ah. Yes, the lady will be 803 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 2: having the cookies and I'll do the same. Okay. This 804 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:50,200 Speaker 2: one's this one's newspaper, man, I'm reading my newspaper. 805 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:53,680 Speaker 3: This is a rubber band man. 806 00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,839 Speaker 2: Don't forget to stretch. Okay, this is a person who 807 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:13,480 Speaker 2: corrects the way you say quest thought croissong cuaisso okay, 808 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:17,360 Speaker 2: this is an area. It's somebody who thinks that sweet 809 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,600 Speaker 2: as pie. That expression is sweedish pie. 810 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:22,840 Speaker 3: What would you do with that? 811 00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,360 Speaker 2: Uh, you can't know she did that. I can't believe that. 812 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,120 Speaker 2: That's so surprised. 813 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,000 Speaker 3: She's sweetish pie. 814 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,080 Speaker 2: She's sweetish pie. 815 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:39,960 Speaker 3: What would you do with that? 816 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,080 Speaker 2: Where would you put them? Ryan? 817 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,040 Speaker 3: I don't know about that one in the hell Raiser universe? 818 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:49,080 Speaker 3: Oh maybe next to the cookie monster? Like we panned 819 00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:49,960 Speaker 3: to another table. 820 00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,480 Speaker 2: Oh okay, and so that's all people ordering? 821 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:54,080 Speaker 7: Okay? 822 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,920 Speaker 3: So who else is at the restaurant? Okay? Uh? Maybe 823 00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,920 Speaker 3: like Triple h. 824 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 2: That could be good. That could be good. Maybe Valvinus 825 00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:12,200 Speaker 2: is there? Yeah, ladies, Uh, should we talk about Diamond 826 00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:13,440 Speaker 2: Dalla's page might be there? 827 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,520 Speaker 3: DPD? Should we should we talk about you think it's 828 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:26,480 Speaker 3: DPD Diamond? Oh d oh no, d damn Kevin? Should 829 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,960 Speaker 3: we talk about the like musical guests? 830 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:33,919 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, okay. So I was thinking that every show 831 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,000 Speaker 2: they have a musical guest, and I think that in 832 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,440 Speaker 2: a lot of these auditions, like I watched Mike Mitchell's audition. 833 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,200 Speaker 2: It's funny, you know. I thought he's pretty funny. Yeah, 834 00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,600 Speaker 2: he's not even addressing the fact that there's a musical 835 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:48,520 Speaker 2: guest and sometimes maybe the host is going to be 836 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:53,760 Speaker 2: changing and you're gonna have to say ladies and gentlemen, 837 00:49:54,640 --> 00:50:00,239 Speaker 2: vance Joy. 838 00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:00,440 Speaker 3: And that. 839 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,839 Speaker 2: I was also thinking that what might really impress Lauren 840 00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:10,600 Speaker 2: is if I give him a little bit of dance joy. Yeah, 841 00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:15,880 Speaker 2: so Ryan, you know vance Joy. I don't. I'm googling, okay, 842 00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:20,440 Speaker 2: google it. So I was thinking, Uh, this is probably 843 00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,160 Speaker 2: the point in the show. Right, We've done quite a 844 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,719 Speaker 2: few sketches where they're gonna want to throw to the 845 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,319 Speaker 2: musical act. Yeah, and their first big breakout song was 846 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,160 Speaker 2: this one Riptide. Now, I'm not gonna pretend to know 847 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:35,120 Speaker 2: the words to it, but I do know some of 848 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:43,640 Speaker 2: the words. Now's this movie that I think you'd like. 849 00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:46,040 Speaker 3: Can you give me drums or something for this. 850 00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 4: Cowboy running from himself? She's been living on the highest 851 00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:58,920 Speaker 4: shell maneyh he hang hand o hen man hen ha. 852 00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:05,200 Speaker 4: I'm gonna be love and man hand Oh, I gotta 853 00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,480 Speaker 4: love my throat because you're gonna sing. 854 00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:12,080 Speaker 2: Well around Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, 855 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:16,480 Speaker 2: Ryan got talking about Yeah nice right, Yeah, I hate that. 856 00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,120 Speaker 3: Will Lauren be flipping out for that? 857 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:18,680 Speaker 2: You hate that? 858 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,560 Speaker 6: No? I liked your your sketch, but. 859 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,600 Speaker 2: It's not really a sketch. I'm just going, hey, let's 860 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,680 Speaker 2: say you book vance Joy. He doesn't show up. 861 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,960 Speaker 3: Lauren's gonna be going, what do I do? Yeah, I go, hey, 862 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:32,399 Speaker 3: I'll come. 863 00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:33,799 Speaker 2: Out there and I'll kind of mumble through a lot 864 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,239 Speaker 2: of the tune. Yeah, I even know more words to 865 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:41,320 Speaker 2: his other song, and which one was that that? 866 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:48,600 Speaker 9: When they go, uh, ride it on a piece of paper, honey, 867 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,200 Speaker 9: put it in my coat before you go. 868 00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,040 Speaker 2: Leave it in a place you know, I'll find there? 869 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,040 Speaker 8: Is that what you were singing when you walk? Later, 870 00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:11,120 Speaker 8: when I'm setting it all loond me, everything starts it 871 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:17,920 Speaker 8: just so new logies are finding me. 872 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,880 Speaker 2: Who am I kidding? 873 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,600 Speaker 6: All my defenses come down? 874 00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 2: Oh baby, will you lay it all? I mean, no, broom. 875 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:33,760 Speaker 7: Lay it all? 876 00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,880 Speaker 3: I mean now boom boom. 877 00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:44,520 Speaker 2: Now boom me no bom. 878 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,800 Speaker 3: And I could do the whole fucking thing for him. Basically, honestly, 879 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:53,200 Speaker 3: your whole audition might should just be that song your head. Yeah, 880 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:53,960 Speaker 3: oh you think so? 881 00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:58,239 Speaker 2: That was probably the most oh, come on, but you 882 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:02,160 Speaker 2: but if but if that was but if that was 883 00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:07,520 Speaker 2: my whole audition, you wouldn't get to meet croissant or 884 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:09,359 Speaker 2: the lady will be having the. 885 00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,000 Speaker 3: Cookies, or. 886 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:14,920 Speaker 2: Hey, I think you're being underhandment of bringing this hose 887 00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:23,399 Speaker 2: in your restaurant, or you gotta try this stuff, or hey, 888 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:27,440 Speaker 2: sorry to wake you. I know it's very early, but 889 00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:30,800 Speaker 2: go through your trash. Yeah, the trash man, the trash 890 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 2: man exact. 891 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:41,120 Speaker 3: See you remember number logically the math professor, professor math exactly. 892 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:45,520 Speaker 3: These are indelible. Ron Johnson, Ron. 893 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:52,200 Speaker 2: Johnson, Wisconsin. A. Okay, So one thing I wanted to 894 00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:58,080 Speaker 2: talk a little bit about is I do think that Well, 895 00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,400 Speaker 2: first of all, should we do update? 896 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:01,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, we gotta let's do update. 897 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:03,359 Speaker 7: What? 898 00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,879 Speaker 2: Uh? So, Ryan, do you have the news pulled up? 899 00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:08,360 Speaker 6: Sure? 900 00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,920 Speaker 2: Okay, God, okay, give me the news. 901 00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:19,360 Speaker 6: Kidnapper chased out of North Carolina karate studio. 902 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,759 Speaker 2: Okay you need more than that. 903 00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:29,040 Speaker 3: No, can you tell me where? Carolina? 904 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:29,760 Speaker 2: North Carolina? 905 00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:30,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? 906 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,560 Speaker 2: Sorry, a kidnapper was chased out of a North Carolina 907 00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,799 Speaker 2: karate studio. Hi? 908 00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:42,640 Speaker 3: Yeah or maybe like uh when asked when sources asked 909 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,720 Speaker 3: him about it, he said yeah or something. 910 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:50,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, oh yes, yeah. Sources close to the 911 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:55,919 Speaker 2: man quoted him as saying, hey, yeah, okay, one for one. 912 00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:00,520 Speaker 6: Next, Oh do I need another headline? 913 00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,040 Speaker 3: We've got to do a lot of them. Okay, Okay. 914 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:08,600 Speaker 6: Mexico launches plan to stimulate US border economy even. 915 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:15,080 Speaker 2: Better, Okay, Mexico launched a plan to stimulate the US 916 00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:16,520 Speaker 2: border economy. 917 00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:18,839 Speaker 3: Uh their plan. 918 00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,959 Speaker 2: Was to uh tickle its butte. 919 00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:36,640 Speaker 6: How about fish fumes blamed for allergy death of Brooklyn boy. 920 00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:42,200 Speaker 2: Okay, fish fumes were recently blamed for the death of 921 00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:50,360 Speaker 2: a Brooklyn allergy boy. Uh well. When reached for comment, 922 00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,200 Speaker 2: the fish fumes said, oh, come on. 923 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,000 Speaker 3: You're gonna put this on me. 924 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:08,319 Speaker 6: NASA's new Horizons Snowman's shape of Distant Ultima Thule revealed. 925 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:13,919 Speaker 2: Okay, NASA's Horizon Snowman shape of Distant Ultimate. 926 00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,520 Speaker 3: Fuel was revealed this week. 927 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:18,319 Speaker 4: Ah. 928 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 2: Uh, NASA's kids were mad that they forgot to get 929 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,600 Speaker 2: a carrot for the nose. Pretty good, that's pretty good. 930 00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:36,600 Speaker 6: That's great, that's good. John Bobbitt speaks out twenty five 931 00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,920 Speaker 6: years after wife and famously cut off his penis. 932 00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:45,080 Speaker 2: It's infamous. Oh sorry, infamously, John, Yeah, this one's easy. 933 00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:48,360 Speaker 2: Then John Bobbitt speaks out, blah blah blah. 934 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:56,160 Speaker 3: Oh maybe Uh she said, hey, yeah, well she but 935 00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:59,520 Speaker 3: she's not speaking. Yeah, he speaks out. Maybe they got 936 00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,000 Speaker 3: a quote for Yeah. 937 00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:06,760 Speaker 2: Lorraine also spoke out. She said, hey, yeah, give. 938 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:11,320 Speaker 6: Me one more, Ryn, one more. Tony Braxton and Birdman breakup. 939 00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:12,280 Speaker 6: It's over. 940 00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,160 Speaker 2: Okay, Tony Braxton and Birdman broke up. 941 00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:17,919 Speaker 3: It's over. 942 00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:23,120 Speaker 2: Uh. Tony said that his ego's really big since he 943 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:26,600 Speaker 2: won the Oscar for Best Picture a couple of years ago. Okay, 944 00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:27,080 Speaker 2: here we. 945 00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:31,000 Speaker 3: Go, so, uh, can we do a bird box thing 946 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,480 Speaker 3: with it? Like me put it in the box the 947 00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:34,360 Speaker 3: bird box. 948 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:43,560 Speaker 2: Jesus, Wow, sorry Jesus, No, we can't. Kevin, Okay, so 949 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,360 Speaker 2: in the same vein. Obviously, those were all really good jokes. 950 00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:50,360 Speaker 2: We'd probably need to throw to an update desk piece, Like, 951 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:56,920 Speaker 2: what would one of those be? It's usually someone who's drunk. Yeah, 952 00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,000 Speaker 2: but it's but there's other stuff too that they need. 953 00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:02,680 Speaker 2: Drunk bartender, drug bartender is probably a desk piece. Yeah, 954 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,440 Speaker 2: probably does, although he needs to be in a bar 955 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,440 Speaker 2: sort of pointing at the bottles, going like you drank this, 956 00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,000 Speaker 2: it makes you feel weird. 957 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:11,760 Speaker 3: He could have brought the bottles with him though. 958 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,520 Speaker 2: Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, it just doesn't sure, it's not ideal. 959 00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,120 Speaker 3: Maybe uh hmm. 960 00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:26,680 Speaker 2: Hm hm uh. Well this is here's a desk piece. 961 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:27,640 Speaker 2: Here's a good deak piece. 962 00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:35,480 Speaker 7: Character show shweek, got show shweet show asham a kwi 963 00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:39,600 Speaker 7: got show as show we show show shweet. 964 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,080 Speaker 3: Colin got show shwee eat. 965 00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:47,680 Speaker 2: That's essentially you know what you need. Yeah, okay, So 966 00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:53,680 Speaker 2: now let's get into the uh Oscars piece of this. 967 00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:56,800 Speaker 2: So obviously when I do book SNL, which we assume 968 00:58:56,840 --> 00:59:00,440 Speaker 2: will happen probably the day this gets released, I will 969 00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:04,320 Speaker 2: then be invited to host the Oscars. They've been having 970 00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,480 Speaker 2: trouble finding a host and they'd love to have a 971 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:08,800 Speaker 2: fresh new voice. They've kind of been dancing around inviting 972 00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:13,640 Speaker 2: me already, and now I think with it being like 973 00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:18,400 Speaker 2: the buzz of like new cast member introduced mid season Dave, 974 00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:24,600 Speaker 2: you know, had an awesome podcast audition, they're gonna want 975 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,520 Speaker 2: me to host the Oscars. 976 00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,560 Speaker 3: So let's talk a little bit about what my Oscars 977 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:27,960 Speaker 3: thing will be. 978 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:29,600 Speaker 2: You guys are kind of the team because we don't 979 00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,680 Speaker 2: have a ton of time to write this stuff. Sure, 980 00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,120 Speaker 2: what do you want to see from your Oscars host, Ryan. 981 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,480 Speaker 6: Like good jokes, jokes. 982 00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,600 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So what are some of the Oscar movies? 983 00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:52,080 Speaker 3: Call me by your name. That's probably last year. 984 00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:53,760 Speaker 2: That's probably last year. 985 00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:54,640 Speaker 3: It's still good. 986 00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,720 Speaker 2: Hey, I'm the new Oscars host. I know a lot 987 00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,880 Speaker 2: of you probably don't know my name. I'm so fresh 988 01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:02,960 Speaker 2: to the scene, so go ahead and just call me 989 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:06,440 Speaker 2: by your name. A little joke about the movies last year. 990 01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,560 Speaker 2: All right, Well, I'm really it's an honor to be hosting. 991 01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,439 Speaker 2: And the theme, of course is movies. Again, the theme 992 01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:18,400 Speaker 2: is always somehow cinema, the magic of cinema. It's it's 993 01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:23,080 Speaker 2: just general enough. So we love movies, and so we 994 01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:25,880 Speaker 2: and and that is what we're here to talk about. 995 01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:29,640 Speaker 2: Really strong year for movies. It's so obvious what all 996 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:34,600 Speaker 2: the good ones were. Uh, And I'll just do this. 997 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,120 Speaker 2: I'm sure this joke has been done one hundred times before. 998 01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:39,680 Speaker 2: But people do always like to start a song. Start 999 01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:42,400 Speaker 2: with a song at these things. So here we go. 1000 01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:47,280 Speaker 2: Welcome to Marwin. This guy plays with dolls. You gonna 1001 01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:52,200 Speaker 2: do this crazy stuff. His name is Steve Grell. Welcome 1002 01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:52,800 Speaker 2: to Marwin. 1003 01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:54,400 Speaker 7: Welcome to Marwin. 1004 01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:59,480 Speaker 2: I prefer the documentary. 1005 01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,840 Speaker 3: What if you do like instead of a star is born? 1006 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,760 Speaker 3: Like a scar is born? A scar is born? But 1007 01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:07,720 Speaker 3: is that a song? 1008 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:09,200 Speaker 2: No? 1009 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,560 Speaker 3: You could show the audience like a scar on your 1010 01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:12,480 Speaker 3: back or something. 1011 01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:25,840 Speaker 2: Okay, I'll try it. Well, really, if it's being born, 1012 01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,720 Speaker 2: what I should do is inflict a horrible scar on myself, 1013 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,080 Speaker 2: like I should go and this is some of Ryant's 1014 01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:31,880 Speaker 2: hell Razor stuff. 1015 01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:32,520 Speaker 1: He love this. 1016 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:33,680 Speaker 3: So I come out. 1017 01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,040 Speaker 2: I go, hey, I know you guys, most of you 1018 01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,919 Speaker 2: here saw a star is Born? But have you seen 1019 01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:41,560 Speaker 2: a scar is born? And then I take off my shirt. 1020 01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:43,440 Speaker 2: I turn around and I just dig a knife in 1021 01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:46,400 Speaker 2: between my shoulder blades and sort of take it down 1022 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:50,400 Speaker 2: the length on my back and I refuse stitches. Right, 1023 01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:57,480 Speaker 2: So that's this is a scar is born? Oh? 1024 01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,480 Speaker 6: I love that. Just do the rest of the show 1025 01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:01,880 Speaker 6: with like blood glooming on your shirt. 1026 01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:12,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's that's good. That could be good. Okay, 1027 01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:21,560 Speaker 2: and I get again. I guess I'll sing shallow. What 1028 01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:22,760 Speaker 2: other movies are there? 1029 01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:24,840 Speaker 3: Bohemian Rhapsody? 1030 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,200 Speaker 2: Do you think that's an Oscar movie? I guess so, 1031 01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:30,840 Speaker 2: I guess he might get I mean, man, the movie sucked. 1032 01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:31,160 Speaker 2: This year. 1033 01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,120 Speaker 6: Yeah, there was really not like Mary Poppins returns. 1034 01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:35,640 Speaker 3: Okay, Mary Poppins returns. 1035 01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:35,919 Speaker 2: Great. 1036 01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:39,560 Speaker 3: So what's your joke about Maybe you come down with 1037 01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:40,240 Speaker 3: an umbrella. 1038 01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:48,760 Speaker 2: Oh, I fly on the stage with an umbrella. Yeah, okay, perfect? 1039 01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:51,240 Speaker 2: And then is there a joke. 1040 01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:55,400 Speaker 3: Like, oh I have it? Oh hit me? After you 1041 01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:59,640 Speaker 3: do a scar is born? That's lock. And next time 1042 01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,520 Speaker 3: you come in on the umbrella and you're coming over 1043 01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:05,440 Speaker 3: everyone and I'm just getting covered in your blood and 1044 01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,400 Speaker 3: blood's getting on everybody, but you're singing a nice Mary 1045 01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,120 Speaker 3: Poppins song or something m hm. 1046 01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:15,120 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, And then I'm like, I'm here to 1047 01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:19,520 Speaker 2: save the Uh, it's not the Banks children this time. 1048 01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,840 Speaker 2: It's like the Affleck children or something. And then we 1049 01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:23,680 Speaker 2: cut to them and they go like, oh, not at me. 1050 01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:24,240 Speaker 2: Come on. 1051 01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:29,760 Speaker 3: How about something with Vice? The movie Vice? Vice? 1052 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:30,080 Speaker 2: Right? 1053 01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:30,800 Speaker 3: Okay, great? 1054 01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:31,160 Speaker 6: Great? 1055 01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:35,360 Speaker 2: I go uh yeah, I saw Vice. It was playing 1056 01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,720 Speaker 2: on Cody Scully's laptop while he was supposed to be 1057 01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:38,840 Speaker 2: engineering the show. 1058 01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:46,080 Speaker 3: I love that. That one's for everybody. What if with 1059 01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:49,120 Speaker 3: like Black Panther, you just did like an awesome fight 1060 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,320 Speaker 3: scene for like forty five minutes, for. 1061 01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:55,080 Speaker 2: Forty five minutes and my back's bleeding already. Yeah that 1062 01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:58,120 Speaker 2: could be good. Okay, that's locked. 1063 01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:02,200 Speaker 6: It was Hereditary twenty eighteen. Yeah, yeah, that was a 1064 01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:02,600 Speaker 6: good one. 1065 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:04,200 Speaker 2: Okay. 1066 01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:08,640 Speaker 3: Oh how about I love dogs and you just come 1067 01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:13,120 Speaker 3: out with like thousands of dogs. Yeah, Bosh is leading it, 1068 01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:14,480 Speaker 3: little cameo. 1069 01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:21,080 Speaker 2: Oh dude, I go uh here to announce that I 1070 01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:24,000 Speaker 2: love dogs. This dog. 1071 01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:32,840 Speaker 3: That's good. Incredibles too, Incredibles too, uh something with like 1072 01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,800 Speaker 3: mm hm that was Incredibles too. 1073 01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:43,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good. Maybe you should do it now. 1074 01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:44,840 Speaker 3: Ralph breaks the internet? 1075 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:49,720 Speaker 2: What if I think it's called incredible stew? I come 1076 01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,120 Speaker 2: out and I'm eating a big thing of stew. Yeah, 1077 01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,000 Speaker 2: I go, man, My back feels better now that I'm 1078 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:58,640 Speaker 2: eating this incredible stew. Here to perform the song from Incredibles. 1079 01:04:58,040 --> 01:05:02,520 Speaker 3: Two Vance Joy Dance Joy? 1080 01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:08,400 Speaker 2: What in yeoll? Hen right in on a piece of paper, honey. 1081 01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:11,600 Speaker 3: Okay. 1082 01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:15,320 Speaker 2: So I come out, hey, honor, to host the Oscars 1083 01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:17,720 Speaker 2: this year. Here's a scar is born. Check out my back? 1084 01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:20,600 Speaker 2: All right? Vice, I see Vice. It was playing Cody 1085 01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:24,320 Speaker 2: Scully's thing. Hey, here we go, we'ren tomorrow and then 1086 01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:26,080 Speaker 2: uh and then I go off and then Mary about 1087 01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:28,720 Speaker 2: yeah woo and I go, I'm here to save they 1088 01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:31,160 Speaker 2: off flick children. Hey, come on, no, don't look at me. 1089 01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:40,880 Speaker 2: And uh then I go, uh. 1090 01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:38,960 Speaker 3: Incredible, stew incredible. 1091 01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:43,640 Speaker 2: I go, h this is incredible stu Uh. Then I 1092 01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:46,400 Speaker 2: perform Shallow with Bradley Cooper Shallow and then you do 1093 01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:49,120 Speaker 2: a forty five minute fight scene from Black Panther Blackman. 1094 01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:50,600 Speaker 2: There I do a forty five minute fight scene. We're 1095 01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:51,840 Speaker 2: getting through a lot of the show. 1096 01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:55,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, And then Bosh comes out with the dogs and 1097 01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:57,240 Speaker 3: then maybe when maybe it's a way. 1098 01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,200 Speaker 2: To introduce some unusual pairings, Like that's always something they 1099 01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:02,680 Speaker 2: do at that show. Like if I'm bringing out like 1100 01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:07,960 Speaker 2: I go, like uh oh, she I go, I go, 1101 01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:15,600 Speaker 2: she's in killing Eve and his feet or killing him 1102 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,560 Speaker 2: and then it's like a guy it's like a uh 1103 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,760 Speaker 2: runner or a guy who broke his foot or something. 1104 01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:25,720 Speaker 2: Didn't celebrities break their foot lately? 1105 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:30,560 Speaker 3: I don't know about that. What about like Sandra Bullock 1106 01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:33,160 Speaker 3: from bird Box and John Krasinski from a quiet like 1107 01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:38,320 Speaker 3: your Quiet Place, bird Box thing, and like Sandra can't 1108 01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:42,120 Speaker 3: find the microphone because she's blind, but John can find it, 1109 01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:43,160 Speaker 3: but he can't find it, but. 1110 01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:45,479 Speaker 2: He can't she's going, John, will you please just tell 1111 01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:48,720 Speaker 2: me where the microphone is? John, tell me where it is? 1112 01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:54,800 Speaker 2: And and he's like, I can't tell you quiet, And 1113 01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:57,840 Speaker 2: he's going like just look, it's right. She's like, I 1114 01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:03,280 Speaker 2: can't look, John. That could be forty five minutes as well. Yeah, 1115 01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:04,640 Speaker 2: how long have we been going? 1116 01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:06,919 Speaker 3: I think like an hour and ten. 1117 01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:14,840 Speaker 2: Well, everybody, this last episode, i'n be honest that I'll 1118 01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:17,439 Speaker 2: start next week. Thanks so much for listening, and thanks 1119 01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:19,560 Speaker 2: Hayes for giving me this chance to do it all right. 1120 01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:27,000 Speaker 2: Thanks Ryan for your help, even though you're not here anymore. Bye,