Speaker 1: My rant right now is about Tinks eating salad with
Speaker 1: a spoon. It's like spoon soup salad. It's like a
Speaker 1: soup and salad mixed together. I'm like, do you eat
Speaker 1: fucking sto? Because it's effectively what you're doing. You're spooning
Speaker 1: your salad, and I just I respectfully disagree. My guest
Speaker 1: today is Christina naj Are, better known as the TikTok
Speaker 1: phenom Tinks. Tinks is a digital creator, advice expert, and
Speaker 1: podcast host. I became aware of her from her presence
Speaker 1: on TikTok, where she's known as TikTok's big sister. I've
Speaker 1: talked before on the show about the good, the bad,
Speaker 1: and the ugly of TikTok, and there's no better person
Speaker 1: to weigh in on these things than Tinks. Plus, Tinks
Speaker 1: and I had a very contentious truffle fry fight that
Speaker 1: we needed to settle. So let's get into it. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Hi, Hi, what's going on? Where are you?
Speaker 1: I'm in l A. I'm at home. I just got
Speaker 1: back from working out, Ready to take on the week,
Speaker 1: ready to talk with you. I'm so excited to meet you. Finally.
Speaker 1: I'm excited too, So what does l A feel like
Speaker 1: compared to New York? To you? Do you? What are you?
Speaker 1: Are you a New Yorker? Are you? Do you feel
Speaker 1: like you're from England? What do you feel inside? I
Speaker 1: have lived so many different places. I like l A
Speaker 1: for the lifestyle. The people can be tough. The people
Speaker 1: that seeing here can be a little bit tough. But
Speaker 1: once you find your people and you stick with them,
Speaker 1: it's great. I like the lifestyle. I like to be hot,
Speaker 1: um Like, I like the sun, I like to be outside.
Speaker 1: I like the whole vibe of l A. But the
Speaker 1: people in New York, the energy, it's it's unmatched, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: But I feel I don't know, I don't really know
Speaker 1: if I feel like I'm from anywhere. To be honest
Speaker 1: with you, I always kind of feel a little bit
Speaker 1: out of place. But I like it that way, right,
Speaker 1: and then you're really an observer. Yeah. But in l
Speaker 1: A when I lived, I lived there for ten years
Speaker 1: from um, I didn't even walk with the class, but
Speaker 1: right after m y u and I thought I would
Speaker 1: never leave. But I was in a different age. UM,
Speaker 1: but I did fine because I'm very insular and I
Speaker 1: don't go out a Lot, it's very hard to sort
Speaker 1: of motivate yourself because you might have to go across
Speaker 1: town where New York, even if you're not going to
Speaker 1: quote unquote the cool place, walking outside is interesting. So
Speaker 1: what do you think about all that distance? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's it's so true. Like in New York. It was
Speaker 1: really funny you say that, because I was out with
Speaker 1: some friends, um the other night, and we were we
Speaker 1: went to one party. We thought it was going to
Speaker 1: be great and it was a miss. And then we
Speaker 1: were like, well, we're all dressed up, we want to
Speaker 1: go somewhere. You know in l A. It takes a
Speaker 1: lot more planning in New York. And we all stood
Speaker 1: there on the street corner and we said, we were
Speaker 1: in New York. We could go into any of these
Speaker 1: bars and it would be a scene, it would be
Speaker 1: a vibe, it would be fun, there would be energy.
Speaker 1: It's just different. In l A. It takes like two
Speaker 1: weeks to plan something. You're like meeting your friend and
Speaker 1: they live forty minutes away. It's literally like a calendar invite,
Speaker 1: and you got to think about traffic and all this stuff,
Speaker 1: and and yeah, you can just like to sit in
Speaker 1: your house. But I, but I also like to sit
Speaker 1: in my house, so I'm so I'm okay with that,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, But as far as to motivate, for me,
Speaker 1: it was very hard. Meaning going to the Delhi in
Speaker 1: New York can be experiences. Walk downstairs, you've got in
Speaker 1: your elevator, you're in your pajamas, you interact with someone,
Speaker 1: felt something, you've spent twenty dollars and you've seen something,
Speaker 1: You've seen something in your dorman. Yeah. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: a whole community. You go outside, like there's some woman
Speaker 1: in a fabulous coat, there's like a you know, a
Speaker 1: mom walking, there's kids, Like, there's so much and that's
Speaker 1: the energy right you you land in New York, you
Speaker 1: get off at JFK and you feel like you just
Speaker 1: shocked under Red Bull. And that's the beautiful thing about it,
Speaker 1: because there's so much to see. You're never alone, you
Speaker 1: never feel lonely. There's always something to do, there's always
Speaker 1: stuff happening, and in that way it can feel exhausting
Speaker 1: but also very cozy and like, you know, there's always stuff,
Speaker 1: so um alone and be with you can be alone
Speaker 1: enough feel lonely, which is why it's interesting that it
Speaker 1: would seem that New York would be lonely because so
Speaker 1: much is going on, but you can kind of feel
Speaker 1: part of something l A. L A can be very lonely.
Speaker 1: I think that l A is more lonely than New York.
Speaker 1: I was too soft for New York at this stage
Speaker 1: of my life, and and like you, you know, I
Speaker 1: kind of feel like I'll never leave l A. But
Speaker 1: as I've gotten older, I'm like, we plan in God laughs,
Speaker 1: like I don't know what the is gonna happen, Like
Speaker 1: I really don't, um so, But at the time in
Speaker 1: my life when I lived in New York, I was
Speaker 1: too soft for it and I was too tired for it.
Speaker 1: But um yeah, it's it's I was never lonely l A.
Speaker 1: Sometimes if you don't have plans on a Sunday in
Speaker 1: l A, you're like, my loser, what's going on? I'm
Speaker 1: kind of alone, like what's happening? Um? But I'm lucky
Speaker 1: I get to spend time in both. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: everybody who doesn't live in l A, New York or
Speaker 1: like these fucking coastal people, all you guys do is
Speaker 1: debate l A and New York LA New York and
Speaker 1: that is like all I do is I think about
Speaker 1: both of them and that they're both fabulous. And before
Speaker 1: these people you're disgusting because I was thinking that I
Speaker 1: spend most of my time in the Hampton's and now Connecticut.
Speaker 1: I did not want to be in the city anymore,
Speaker 1: and I like seeing grass and being alone and just
Speaker 1: feeling peace. I don't know if that's just an age thing,
Speaker 1: but I never I was always in New York and
Speaker 1: never really experiencing what there was to experience. Like everything
Speaker 1: I've ever done to leave the house has been for work.
Speaker 1: So you're in the thick of it now. And UM,
Speaker 1: do you mind if I am allowed to ask how
Speaker 1: old you are? So you're thirty one, You're I mean,
Speaker 1: you're very very young. I didn't hit success until I
Speaker 1: was thirty seven, so I'm trying to relate to you.
Speaker 1: I hit success not in the way that you are,
Speaker 1: but but I did hit some success and I was
Speaker 1: living in New York City and I was a late bloomer. Um.
Speaker 1: So you you talk about all these starter packs, which
Speaker 1: I think is interesting for those of you listening. Rich
Speaker 1: Mom starter pack, and you're quintessentially personifying these places, many
Speaker 1: of which that I've lived in from the Hamptons to
Speaker 1: Greenwich to the city and um and different parts of
Speaker 1: the city uptown downtown. So do you know all of
Speaker 1: these places or you imagine it or you're garnering magazine
Speaker 1: articles and things on TV, Like how much of them
Speaker 1: do you intimately understand? So I think a lot. And
Speaker 1: to go back to what we were discussing it in
Speaker 1: the beginning, you know, my parents are American and then
Speaker 1: I moved when I was six months old to London,
Speaker 1: but I always felt out of place there because I
Speaker 1: was at a British school but my parents were American,
Speaker 1: so I was kind of from a young age, I
Speaker 1: was always fascinated with like what makes people feel like
Speaker 1: they belong right? Like what what makes a place of place?
Speaker 1: And this is to get on you know, I think
Speaker 1: with the rich mom thing, you can go there's two
Speaker 1: sides of it. There's like the anthropological, like deep side
Speaker 1: of like I'm obsessed with female happiness over a certain age.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessible what makes a place of place? But it's
Speaker 1: also just fun satire. So yeah, and it's douchy and
Speaker 1: I and most of it's correct because it is. Do
Speaker 1: you have to send you something about this this this
Speaker 1: um animated little couple and she's telling him that Quogg
Speaker 1: is not the fucking Hampton's I'm gonna send it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's exactly it's effectively a twenty year old rich
Speaker 1: rich Yeah, and it's just it's fun. So I think
Speaker 1: for most of the cities that I do, I I know,
Speaker 1: I just know, you know, you know, from living there
Speaker 1: and no, no people. Sometimes I have to call in
Speaker 1: a rich mom consultant and get their emails because it's
Speaker 1: all about the details, you know, from Miami. I don't
Speaker 1: know much about Miami. I called my girlfriend who's from there,
Speaker 1: and she told me what the cool schools are and
Speaker 1: what the you know, where where everybody goes to dinner
Speaker 1: and everything. Um So, but yeah, it's fun. I mean
Speaker 1: it is fun. But it's also like at its core,
Speaker 1: like I said, I'm really obsessed with like women and
Speaker 1: how they grow and how they maintain their happiness and
Speaker 1: how they evolve and like how um how their stories
Speaker 1: um kind of unfold. So it's a little bit of fun,
Speaker 1: it's it's satire, it's it's a little bit of everything. Right. Well.
Speaker 1: I also, I mean, people have watched you come up.
Speaker 1: So you've been broke? Right? Have you been broke when
Speaker 1: you were living in the studio partment? Did you feel
Speaker 1: broke or you've never been broke. I wasn't gonna I
Speaker 1: don't want to lie. I wasn't gonna be on the street.
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna be thet But I didn't have any
Speaker 1: money in my bank account. Like I was going to
Speaker 1: have to move home, and I know that a lot
Speaker 1: of people don't have a home to go to, but
Speaker 1: I could move home to London to be with my parents,
Speaker 1: and that's like a really great fallback. But I didn't
Speaker 1: have any money in my bank account, I didn't have
Speaker 1: a job. I definitely felt like a fucking failure, especially
Speaker 1: because I felt like I had been you know, I
Speaker 1: went to college, I went to grad school. I had
Speaker 1: tried so many different things and nothing was clicking, and
Speaker 1: I felt like I had something to give and I
Speaker 1: felt smart, and I felt like I wanted to do
Speaker 1: something but I didn't know what. So I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to be on the street. But I did feel like
Speaker 1: a big failure. Well, also, you thought you had something,
Speaker 1: but everybody, we don't know. When you you might think
Speaker 1: you have you haven't seen the end of the movie.
Speaker 1: A lot of people think they have it and they don't,
Speaker 1: so you're still sort of in the middle of the marathon,
Speaker 1: not having any idea you know, whether to just not
Speaker 1: do it or go all way. You say move home.
Speaker 1: Does that mean with strings, meaning you would have been supported,
Speaker 1: or that just means you still would have had to
Speaker 1: have a job, but you'd have a roof over your head.
Speaker 1: I would have stowed a job. I I for me,
Speaker 1: I'm I love to work. I've I've worked since I
Speaker 1: was sixteen. I love to work. And even when I
Speaker 1: was working in jobs that I didn't, I knew weren't
Speaker 1: weren't right for me, and that I was bad at.
Speaker 1: I still prefer to work. Like, if you gave me
Speaker 1: a billion dollars tomorrow, I would keep going exactly what
Speaker 1: I'm going now, that's just whatever. But I would have
Speaker 1: had to get a job, but I was I didn't
Speaker 1: have any money for rent, Like I was the end
Speaker 1: of the road for the rent. Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1: That's that's you weren't. You're not comparing yourself to homeless
Speaker 1: people by any means, but in your life, you you
Speaker 1: couldn't afford to do the things you wanted to do.
Speaker 1: You couldn't go buy something, go to dinner like no.
Speaker 1: I had that. I couldn't afford a taxi in New
Speaker 1: York City because it's very expensive. And you know that
Speaker 1: feeling when the big bill comes with a group of
Speaker 1: people that you're at to dinner with and you pray
Speaker 1: that you don't have to split it or that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I felt like I felt, you know, I felt
Speaker 1: like a loser a little bit because I just felt
Speaker 1: like no cylinders were firing. I felt like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was and dating anybody. I didn't have a job,
Speaker 1: I had just moved for like the third time in
Speaker 1: my twenties, New City again. Um, And it was just
Speaker 1: like I I was kind of like, damn, like I
Speaker 1: don't know how this is going to work out. Like
Speaker 1: I hope it does, but I I don't. I can't
Speaker 1: really see the end. Um. And I was starting to
Speaker 1: feel a little panicky, especially because I moved on to
Speaker 1: l A on my twenty nine birthday and a lot
Speaker 1: of people think that I moved to l A because
Speaker 1: I wanted to be famous. I didn't. I moved to
Speaker 1: l A because I didn't like New York that much,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to be a writer, and I thought
Speaker 1: maybe if I could try a new city, like so,
Speaker 1: I have some friends there. I really like it, but
Speaker 1: I didn't by any means moved to do this. Um.
Speaker 1: And but then I was like sitting there on my
Speaker 1: birthday and my friends made me go to dinner. UM.
Speaker 1: They were like no, like, you know, welcome to l A.
Speaker 1: We gotta take you out. And I remember I got
Speaker 1: so drunk and I was like sobbing at this dinner
Speaker 1: because like my friends were getting married, they were getting
Speaker 1: all these crazy promotions, they had these great careers, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel like I fucked up because
Speaker 1: I feel like I could have just I should have
Speaker 1: I should have just stuck with something like I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have kept you know, I had that doubt
Speaker 1: that definitely crept in and I and then I did
Speaker 1: this really cheesy thing. I remember I was in the
Speaker 1: hotel and I wrote this letter to my future kids
Speaker 1: and I was like, your twenty nine, your mom is
Speaker 1: twenty nine today, Like I'm moving, I'm going on this
Speaker 1: gut feeling. I don't know what's going to happen, but
Speaker 1: I always want you guys to be brave and I
Speaker 1: always want you to trust yourself and to try to
Speaker 1: just keep trying and go. So anyway, pandemic blah blah
Speaker 1: here we are Wow. Well no, but there's a couple
Speaker 1: of things that are jumping up the page. So I
Speaker 1: know that feeling that like I'm a loser and panic.
Speaker 1: I but I was in my mid to late thirties
Speaker 1: and I would be going out to clubs and then
Speaker 1: you know, drinking and come home and eat everything like
Speaker 1: you sure do in your apartment and felt depressed. I
Speaker 1: didn't have anybody to possibly ever move in with, not
Speaker 1: that that makes a difference, but I did, like you
Speaker 1: did not know, like how's this going to end? Where
Speaker 1: am I working? What is it going to be? I
Speaker 1: don't have anyone take care of me. I have no
Speaker 1: safety net. Um, but I think that we have to
Speaker 1: talk to women about we I thought I had to
Speaker 1: have it wrapped up when I was twenty five years
Speaker 1: I really did. When I was like, I literally thought
Speaker 1: it all had to be wrapped up. And so I
Speaker 1: did what you did. Where I was on a couple
Speaker 1: of good trajectories. I mean, I worked for Lauren Michael's
Speaker 1: and I worked for Kathy Hilton, and I worked Jerry Bruckheimer,
Speaker 1: but I was I kept moving around because I thought
Speaker 1: it was it was I was late. And I think
Speaker 1: young girls need to understand they're so not late, because
Speaker 1: I mean, now, I now think thirty seven was so young,
Speaker 1: Like I think I'm listening to you at thirty one.
Speaker 1: I literally think when I was thirty seven, miserable and
Speaker 1: depressed and had nothing going on, not married, not a kid,
Speaker 1: not I still think that's young. So I think I
Speaker 1: don't know how to convey that to young women about
Speaker 1: the you the age thing because you were going through
Speaker 1: not so long. Yeah, I know when I talked about
Speaker 1: it all the time because I think it is a
Speaker 1: key cause of panic for women. I think it's a
Speaker 1: key cause of why women settle, you know. And I
Speaker 1: get so many people, so many women writing to me saying,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna believe this. They say, you've made me
Speaker 1: not afraid to turn thirty and and not be married
Speaker 1: and you may still try things. And I'm like, what
Speaker 1: have we done that we have poisoned women's minds to
Speaker 1: think that your life end at thirties. It's not a
Speaker 1: game of musical chairs. There's no timer, you know. But
Speaker 1: that's that's what we tell women. That's what everybody's you know.
Speaker 1: It's like gott to be wrapped up. I can't believe
Speaker 1: we're still telling them about my assistance in front of me.
Speaker 1: She's twenty six years old. She thinks she needs she
Speaker 1: should have a boyfriend by now. I'm like, what do
Speaker 1: you talk I'm like about I'm like your twenties dating,
Speaker 1: and your twenties need an entire rebrand. They need an
Speaker 1: entire green brand. I got to focus on yourself, Focus
Speaker 1: on your female friendships because they're the ones that are
Speaker 1: going to lift you up. Focus on trying different things.
Speaker 1: And by the way, finding out that you don't like
Speaker 1: a job is as important as finding out as you
Speaker 1: do like a job. And that's by the way, you
Speaker 1: are in a serious relationship. Wanted to marry the guy.
Speaker 1: Let me explain something to you. Once you were married,
Speaker 1: once you have kids, god forbid you get divorced. You
Speaker 1: don't understand, you're locked. I can just go move to
Speaker 1: Florence for six months because I want to go, eat
Speaker 1: good food and drink olive oil. You could turn it
Speaker 1: into content. You could literally go to marrow to Florence
Speaker 1: and live for six months because you want to, like,
Speaker 1: it's nice to be free, and everybody wants to be
Speaker 1: there instead of being here. And it's shocking because not
Speaker 1: until again into your fifties you realize what that means.
Speaker 1: You're chuckled by things exactly no, and it's like, what's
Speaker 1: the rush? Like seriously, it's like and by the way,
Speaker 1: if you if you meet the love of your life,
Speaker 1: if you have the perfect job in your twenties, that's
Speaker 1: great too. You know that's great too, And I'm not
Speaker 1: diminishing that that's a real possibility for people. But you
Speaker 1: it's it's okay if you haven't found it yet. And
Speaker 1: you have to remove the panic from the situation because
Speaker 1: all that's doing is clouding your judgment. All that's doing
Speaker 1: is clouding your creativity. When you're sat there thinking, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm not married yet, Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: dada da, look at my friend she's bought a house
Speaker 1: and I'm broke, blah blah blah, all that's doing is
Speaker 1: adding pressure and when you should be thinking what do
Speaker 1: I want to do today? What am I interested in
Speaker 1: learning about? What am I what's going on in my life?
Speaker 1: Like comparison is the thief of joy. I'd say it.
Speaker 1: I know it's annoying. I say it non fucking stopped
Speaker 1: to my followers. But I'm like you, guys, you have
Speaker 1: to stop comparing yourself to other people to where you
Speaker 1: think you should be, to where you were. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: also they're doing what But this is what's given me
Speaker 1: So in business, the numbers don't lie. This is the numbers.
Speaker 1: This is what made. This is what it didn't make.
Speaker 1: This is what historically happened. Okay, I was twenty four
Speaker 1: and twenty five and all the people were getting married,
Speaker 1: and I went to all the weddings and literally, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of Madison Beer's mom, Like that was one of
Speaker 1: the weddings, Lizzie Goodman, that was one of the what
Speaker 1: there's one person of all those weddings that are still married. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be an alarmous but if the
Speaker 1: numbers don't lie, if these people were all in their
Speaker 1: twenties rushing to do what everybody else was doing because
Speaker 1: they were comparing, and here I am with the numbers
Speaker 1: twenty five years later and these people are not married anymore,
Speaker 1: how do we that needs to be communicated back through time.
Speaker 1: Like the comparison theory goes to here. But we could
Speaker 1: just tell them youth's wasted on the young. If you
Speaker 1: say the numbers don't lie, here's the numbers don't done.
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy. It's like you can't you can't settle
Speaker 1: because you know what, As you said, it's like it's
Speaker 1: like people are rushing, women are rushing. They're they're settling.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, because they want this wedding so badly.
Speaker 1: They want the fairy tale wedding and they want they
Speaker 1: want it tied up in a bow, they want it done.
Speaker 1: They just I feel the ankst, I feel the need
Speaker 1: to have it tied up in a bow and done.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what do you think happens after? What
Speaker 1: do you think You get some magic card, you get
Speaker 1: some magic happiness card and you're done. No, you wake
Speaker 1: up the next morning and the only thing that's different
Speaker 1: is you have some nice photos to post on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You still your happiness still matters. The things that you
Speaker 1: are will think about they're the same, like like it
Speaker 1: should only be additive, it should only be additive. You
Speaker 1: can't change your life. Like and I'm just like desperately
Speaker 1: trying to tell all my younger girls who follow me,
Speaker 1: um this because like you know, it's it's heartbreaking. They
Speaker 1: write to me and they're like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: freaking out. I'm twenty six and I don't have a boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, and I know there's gonna be We'll
Speaker 1: find it. We'll find a secret sauce to convey it
Speaker 1: in some way that they really feel it in to me,
Speaker 1: the thing that I found is actually that it's like
Speaker 1: the most helpful thing. Like I can talk about it
Speaker 1: till I'm blow in the face. But the thing is
Speaker 1: if you lead by example, like I wish I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to toot my own horn. I wish that I
Speaker 1: had myself when I was twenty six, because I was
Speaker 1: panicked at the time, and if there had been an
Speaker 1: influencer who was like thirty one, who was successful, who
Speaker 1: had amazing friends and amazing life, bought herself a house
Speaker 1: and was kind of just like, I'll meet him when
Speaker 1: I meet him, I could have used that. Because we
Speaker 1: had sex in the city. You're younger know, I was
Speaker 1: in the sex city era. I was of the v
Speaker 1: one of influencers who were all like, I'm twenty four
Speaker 1: and my body is perfect, and I don't there's no
Speaker 1: problems in my life and my Instagram looks perfect, and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm majorly fucked. And then it's
Speaker 1: the Sex and the City thing where it's like in
Speaker 1: Sex and the City for which, by the way, I
Speaker 1: love the show, I grew up on it, but like
Speaker 1: the entire every week is like their stocks are up
Speaker 1: or down based on the guy. That's the entire the
Speaker 1: thing of the show, and all the onus falls on women.
Speaker 1: Don't do this, don't wear this, don't do that. You're
Speaker 1: gonna otherwise you're not gonna, you know, uh nab a guy.
Speaker 1: And by the way, the other harmful uh trope in
Speaker 1: that show is that it really pits women against women.
Speaker 1: Remember that episode the thirties something women versus the twenties
Speaker 1: something women. Why does it have to be this or that?
Speaker 1: And also nobody could afford it wasn't realistic because you're
Speaker 1: talking about a lot of these Storter packs as an
Speaker 1: aspirational satirical thing. Between nobody can afford that life in
Speaker 1: New York City on those jobs at that at that time,
Speaker 1: you can't afford those clothes. Yeah, it's so true. Um, so,
Speaker 1: so you're smart. You went to Stanford. That's quite impressive.
Speaker 1: But I think that's like a calling card. I have
Speaker 1: to say, you do does it? Do you do you
Speaker 1: love that? Do you use that? Does it work for you? Did?
Speaker 1: Did it matter that you went to Stanford? Going back?
Speaker 1: Would you have would you have spent all that money
Speaker 1: on that education knowing what you know now? Stanford was
Speaker 1: the best money my parents paid for college. I'm very
Speaker 1: honest about that. They paid they paid for that. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it really helped me spread my wings. It
Speaker 1: made me who I am today. I have no regrets.
Speaker 1: It it complete self growth, like the most amazing time
Speaker 1: of my life. Grad school. I'm going to be completely
Speaker 1: honest with you. It was a waste of time for me.
Speaker 1: It was a waste of time and money. I have
Speaker 1: a master's in fashion journalism because again I thought I
Speaker 1: wanted to move to New York to work in fashion,
Speaker 1: moved to New York. Didn't like New York, didn't like fashion. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: but so that was a real bummer. But as soon
Speaker 1: as I got to grad school, I knew very quickly.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is not this is not a
Speaker 1: good use of my time. So I quickly got I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna work throughout grad school so I
Speaker 1: can try different things. That I was in New York,
Speaker 1: the center of the world. I was like, I gotta
Speaker 1: try different things on the side because this isn't worth it.
Speaker 1: But Stanford, I'm extremely proud of it. Like I'm extremely
Speaker 1: extremely proud of that. I worked very hard in high school, um,
Speaker 1: and I really wanted to. You know, I was pretty
Speaker 1: academic in high school. I was pretty nerdy, and then
Speaker 1: when I got as soon as I got into Stanford,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna have a break. I've been
Speaker 1: busting my ask. I partied NonStop, was president of my sotroority.
Speaker 1: Absolutely loved it. It It was great. You sound a slightly
Speaker 1: um apologetic about not growing up with nothing, Like you
Speaker 1: want to be accountable to your following, so you're not
Speaker 1: you know that you were born on second base, not third,
Speaker 1: but like you know that you were going on a base.
Speaker 1: I try to hold myself really accountable, and I mean, this,
Speaker 1: this is all We're entering such an interesting um like
Speaker 1: time because I always wonder, like how much context are
Speaker 1: we asking people to give? Right, I'm going to bring
Speaker 1: up an example and we don't have to go that
Speaker 1: deep into it. So, for example, the Kim Kardashian thing
Speaker 1: when she said get your fucking ass and work whatever,
Speaker 1: and people shredded her. They shredded her on the internet
Speaker 1: for a week, and and I was reading the comments,
Speaker 1: and to me, it seemed like, you know, the thing
Speaker 1: that they were angry about is that she she grew
Speaker 1: up with money and and she didn't give that context,
Speaker 1: and and it really kind of opened this thing to me,
Speaker 1: like in my head of you know, how much context
Speaker 1: are we expected to give? Because I've been misquoted before.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have too, and so I'm always warried,
Speaker 1: like but at the same time, I hate qualifying everything
Speaker 1: that I say, you know what I mean. It's like
Speaker 1: it's gonna make language very difficult if we're constantly qualifying.
Speaker 1: So I try to strike a balance. But listen, my
Speaker 1: parents paying for college is quite important for context, because
Speaker 1: you know, it meant that I entered the world of
Speaker 1: adulthood debt free, and that's not a real real that's
Speaker 1: not a reality for a huge majority of Americans. So
Speaker 1: I do want to be honest about that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think everything's do need context if you're going to
Speaker 1: make a dramatic statement like that. I don't think everything
Speaker 1: needs context. You're allowed to have a do your bag,
Speaker 1: but also have worked hard and been successful like you're.
Speaker 1: I mean, many people don't think you are. And there
Speaker 1: are many things you can't comment on as a white woman,
Speaker 1: and you know, and there are many things that men
Speaker 1: can't comment down as a white man now because it's
Speaker 1: not in to be a man. But there's a million
Speaker 1: things to navigate, as you know. Um, I think people
Speaker 1: just feel like we'll give it to her because she's
Speaker 1: worked her ass on, as I like to say, fully,
Speaker 1: but you can't go too far and start saying that. Listen,
Speaker 1: not until there was some girl on the red carpet, oh,
Speaker 1: because always sell Dono was just like, oh, now, I
Speaker 1: guess we go to award shows where people slap each other.
Speaker 1: Then everyone was like, oh, hi, I think you were
Speaker 1: dating the son of Will Smith or who are you?
Speaker 1: Like if you open your big mouth, something's coming, so
Speaker 1: you know. So that's what I have a big mouth,
Speaker 1: trust and I don't call shit, so you know, and
Speaker 1: you know where the line is and you cross it
Speaker 1: sometimes and you take a little heat, but nothing ventured,
Speaker 1: nothing gained. Everybody's a filter down, water down, edited, bullshit
Speaker 1: version of themselves and not so. Um, and I'm people
Speaker 1: know this, I'm sure, Um, what does tinks mean? So?
Speaker 1: Tinks is a nickname I've had for over twenty years.
Speaker 1: I was it's from a movie. There was a character
Speaker 1: in a movie called Tinker Parker and she was really confident,
Speaker 1: and when I was younger, I wasn't that confident. And Um,
Speaker 1: in the movie, she's like she knows how to flirt
Speaker 1: with boys and she's just really loud. And so I
Speaker 1: told my friends, like, this is my alter ego now,
Speaker 1: and it just kind of stuck. And so, so your
Speaker 1: friends all call you Tinks. That's like, you're okay? Does
Speaker 1: anyone call you by your real name? My mom, my lawyer? Really? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's funny. Um, it's not elite? Is it your legal
Speaker 1: name now? Now? No? No? Okay? So where is the
Speaker 1: line in sharing? So, because there was a girl yesterday
Speaker 1: on TikTok and she said, I'm in the bathroom and
Speaker 1: it's such tempting. I've been on Housewives. I know what
Speaker 1: it's like for it to be tempting, you know, it's content.
Speaker 1: Everything is content. So she's in the bathroom and she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm about to hook up with this guy and this
Speaker 1: isn't OK. This stuff? Yeah, oh, I didn't even know that.
Speaker 1: I just thought this was a person doing this. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that that was like a thing. But then,
Speaker 1: and isn't the guy gonna know? And then, I mean,
Speaker 1: isn't someone going to say to the guy while he's
Speaker 1: in that other room because he's got his phone, there's
Speaker 1: a girl in your bathroom right now with your head
Speaker 1: and shoulders danger ship like, so you know, and where
Speaker 1: is the line between like you're sharing it with them
Speaker 1: but not being present with your own life and especially
Speaker 1: for someone like you, your whole life is content and
Speaker 1: this has been the source of an income. Now, so
Speaker 1: how do you stop the faucet? And what about if
Speaker 1: you get involved with someone else who, yes, will buy
Speaker 1: into the fact that this is who you are when
Speaker 1: you meet them, just like when I met Paul. But
Speaker 1: there is a line. I mean, they don't know exactly
Speaker 1: how far they're going into this thing. And it's really
Speaker 1: fucking annoying and invasive. It is it is, and it's
Speaker 1: it's trial and error and I'm and I'm still figuring out. Like,
Speaker 1: for example, I don't talk about dating anymore. I did
Speaker 1: when I when my own personal dating life and this
Speaker 1: is who he is? Yeah, like and I and it was,
Speaker 1: by the way, the best content. And that was a
Speaker 1: really difficult let's listen, Dick on the table. That was
Speaker 1: a tough business decision because that that was far and away.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is, but I can't wait
Speaker 1: to hear what's on the table? Oh, I mean, like, honestly,
Speaker 1: if I'm going to be honest, I was you did
Speaker 1: called on the table? I like, it's like my favorite phrase.
Speaker 1: Um like, no, to be honest, like it was, it
Speaker 1: was far and away the best content. And people loved
Speaker 1: it because you know I would. When I first started out,
Speaker 1: I was like, I didn't know that where this was going.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how big it was. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: was nobody, so I was like I made up nicknames.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, well this guy like the new guy,
Speaker 1: and you know, and people, it's amazing content because you're
Speaker 1: following someone's you know, up and down of dating in
Speaker 1: l A. It's very fascinating. But last year I just
Speaker 1: got to a point where I was like, I, first
Speaker 1: of all, it makes dating two complicated for me because
Speaker 1: I don't know what people's intentions are and I don't
Speaker 1: want someone to ever want to date me because they
Speaker 1: want to be in the in the in the content.
Speaker 1: And it also just confused me because sometimes I'd be
Speaker 1: telling my followers about something and it was like it
Speaker 1: just added another dimension, and watching the movie as a director,
Speaker 1: it's exactly exactly and and I just got to a
Speaker 1: point where I was like, so for those reasons, and
Speaker 1: also I just felt like I give so much to
Speaker 1: my followers and I'm happy to I love them more
Speaker 1: than anything I really do. But I just needed one
Speaker 1: thing for me, Like I just needed the personal life
Speaker 1: to stay personal and quiet, and it just made it
Speaker 1: easier for me. So I don't, I don't, but I'm
Speaker 1: happy I passed on the lessons. I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I was dating a guy a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago, and this happened or whatever, but not like
Speaker 1: in the same it just was too much um And
Speaker 1: and yeah it's tough. I mean, I I'm not tired
Speaker 1: of sharing yet, I'm not. I'm really love it and
Speaker 1: it's very now actual to me and I never feel
Speaker 1: like I have to um, But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I'll see how it goes. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't have a master plan for this, but so I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not that aware of a lot of things, like
Speaker 1: I always have to other people have to tell me
Speaker 1: what things are. So I remember when I was going
Speaker 1: on on social media and I think it was TikTok
Speaker 1: and I saw the starterpac thing and I thought that
Speaker 1: was funny. I sent it to my fiance Paul. I
Speaker 1: think it was the one about the West It was
Speaker 1: one about the West West Village. But I didn't and
Speaker 1: I think I had seen your name, but like there's
Speaker 1: a lot of people that like collect channel buttons and
Speaker 1: those famous people in muffin Eaters in Africa, to like
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, so I didn't know, like there's
Speaker 1: this person Tinks. I didn't know if you were just
Speaker 1: coming through because I had liked one or followed it
Speaker 1: and it was coming again, but I didn't know you
Speaker 1: were like a thing. So um. And I remember someone
Speaker 1: said you should do a collaboration with Tinks and I
Speaker 1: was like what and they were like, oh, she did
Speaker 1: something with Gwyneth Paltrow and I'm like, oh, but it
Speaker 1: was sort of just like these kids think this as
Speaker 1: cool as days, and it was I didn't know what
Speaker 1: they were talking about. So then, um, I guess also,
Speaker 1: because you're in my world, you know, your name starts
Speaker 1: coming up and now like I'm aware of it. And
Speaker 1: this was a couple of months ago when we got
Speaker 1: in touch with each other. But I wonder, like, what
Speaker 1: level of fame are you? Meaning? There have to be
Speaker 1: there have to be guys on on dating apps that
Speaker 1: have no idea who you are, because that's very your,
Speaker 1: very niche and very woman and uh not. You haven't
Speaker 1: reached into the male sphere on a full scale yet.
Speaker 1: But I don't know that. Maybe I'm wrong because I
Speaker 1: don't know anything, and you've gotten a lot of international press.
Speaker 1: So what level of fame are you? You walking out
Speaker 1: and you're seeing girls at the yogurt store, but you
Speaker 1: at an airport and everyone's coming up like where are
Speaker 1: you in the fame spectrum? That's such an interesting question.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think, Um, I think it's so
Speaker 1: weird because it's like it's it's felt like a slow
Speaker 1: progression to me, but everyone keeps saying so fast but
Speaker 1: I have moments where I'm like, wow, this is really crazy,
Speaker 1: Like you know, if someone will try to find out
Speaker 1: where I am, where they'll be waiting for me outside
Speaker 1: and like not everyone is coming up to me in
Speaker 1: an airport, I said, like two or three people and
Speaker 1: her airport visit. Meaning that you can date and have
Speaker 1: someone not know who you are. You're still in that totally.
Speaker 1: But I but I also live in l A. So
Speaker 1: that's like that's the Turkey thing. And yeah, but then
Speaker 1: but then it's linked to your social media and then
Speaker 1: they see and and it's like in l A. I
Speaker 1: kind of I feel like it kind of splits into
Speaker 1: two groups of guys, either guys who are like you,
Speaker 1: she has an online presence I don't want anything to
Speaker 1: do with her, or the guys who were like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, she has an she has a blue checkmark
Speaker 1: like I want to you know, it's and and it's
Speaker 1: tricky because I always tell my followers go on dating apps,
Speaker 1: like you know, this is important, this is important to
Speaker 1: you know, if you want to date. It's a numbers game,
Speaker 1: like get yourself out there. But um, I'm definitely you yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because that's sort of an unfair. Sometimes it's unfair when
Speaker 1: someone's fully aware of everything about you. When I was
Speaker 1: dating on dating apps, I would I would I would
Speaker 1: try it, and then I would run away. I would
Speaker 1: literally go on and like I feel I felt naked,
Speaker 1: like I'm naked and everyone else clothes on. Yeah, I'd
Speaker 1: go in and and I think that people have no
Speaker 1: idea who I am. These are all like business guys.
Speaker 1: And then a guy would say, well, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I have a nice job, and I'm not you know,
Speaker 1: New York. I'm not a New York gos. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm at Aristotle Onesis. I'm like, yeah, well, first of all,
Speaker 1: you're instacure, Like I didn't like that. It's it's just
Speaker 1: or it's those like it's those bits, you know, And
Speaker 1: because I talk about dating so much, it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's and that that stuff can like really cringe you out.
Speaker 1: You know, you're on a dating app and you you
Speaker 1: imagine the guy you think he's cute, and then he'll
Speaker 1: he'll say to me like, oh, like, am I doing
Speaker 1: box theory or like one of my dating theories And
Speaker 1: I'm just like like I'm just like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's really tough. And I get it because like there
Speaker 1: is so much information or there's so much content with
Speaker 1: me in it out there, so I understand it would
Speaker 1: be hard to have to come in with no judgment.
Speaker 1: Like I get that as if I was putting myself
Speaker 1: in their shoes. But for me, I'm just like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. It just creates a weird dynamic.
Speaker 1: There are so many men that have no idea about
Speaker 1: any of this stuff I have. And so just so
Speaker 1: you know, like one peacock is good for you, I
Speaker 1: think you could be like, do you need to find
Speaker 1: some like attractive dork that's successful, that's cool, that doesn't
Speaker 1: that thinks this is all very cute and appreciate your
Speaker 1: business savvy and success. But there's not like no exact
Speaker 1: articles or this stuff that's not that's not that that
Speaker 1: will not work. Um So, now, how much do you
Speaker 1: now care about likes and followers and going viral? Because
Speaker 1: and did you care in the beginning? Have you cared
Speaker 1: at all? Has it been like, oh my god, like
Speaker 1: what has this whole thing been? Like? No? And I
Speaker 1: think it's honestly, it's a combination of um age and
Speaker 1: just experience. But I right away when I started, I thought,
Speaker 1: I this is what I was supposed to do. I'm
Speaker 1: an entertainer. I don't know how it's going to go,
Speaker 1: but I know this is what I want to do.
Speaker 1: And from from very early on, I realized the content
Speaker 1: that did the best was when I was truly making
Speaker 1: what I wanted to see. I was just making the
Speaker 1: videos that I want to see. With my podcast, I
Speaker 1: make the podcast I want to listen to. With my
Speaker 1: radio show, I make the radio show I want to
Speaker 1: listen to. With the sweatshirts I make, I make the
Speaker 1: sweatshst that I want to wear. If you start chasing
Speaker 1: what you think other people want, I think that's the death. Now.
Speaker 1: Now you have to think about your audience and how
Speaker 1: to serve them, and I do in a way. I
Speaker 1: think like how can I add value to their lives?
Speaker 1: But specifically with what I'm my content, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make what I wanted to see, and then it
Speaker 1: feels authentic. That's the That's the key to authenticity is
Speaker 1: when you're not thinking like, well, maybe if I make
Speaker 1: a video about this, it will appeal to the finding
Speaker 1: white Space Carol Reds Will once told me on the
Speaker 1: house was I need to find white space. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what is white space? She's like, where there's a void
Speaker 1: and something? I go, what see? I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: agree with that. I I don't. You know. Everyone's like,
Speaker 1: find your you know, find your niche to do this thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you're everyone is over complicating it. But
Speaker 1: what's attractive and um charismatic is when people when you
Speaker 1: can tell that people really love doing something, like they
Speaker 1: actually love doing something, whatever it is, and people are like,
Speaker 1: what's your tip for TikTok? I'm like, if you really
Speaker 1: love making oat There's a guy on TikTok who has
Speaker 1: like forty million followers and and he has literally I
Speaker 1: think it's a lot, and he's like oatmeal guy, and
Speaker 1: he just makes new oatmeal every day. So why do
Speaker 1: people love to watch it? Because you can tell he
Speaker 1: genuinely fucking loves oatmeal, just like rice. But but that's
Speaker 1: the thing, It's like, make what you want, you know,
Speaker 1: that's how you stay true to yourself. I I don't overcomplicated.
Speaker 1: I don't try to think like where's the white space
Speaker 1: that you know? Whatever? I just think, what do I want?
Speaker 1: To see, Like, what do I you know, that's my
Speaker 1: north star? Where's so if you're doing what you love,
Speaker 1: it's not really work. Okay, we know that, but like
Speaker 1: and so what's the structure of what you're doing do
Speaker 1: you say, like it's tomorrow's two, I have to post
Speaker 1: six things or are you just winging it all day? Like?
Speaker 1: And then you have other things now, I guess you
Speaker 1: have deals and collaborations and partnership. So that's a separate story. Um,
Speaker 1: where's the structure in this whole business? Like what goes on?
Speaker 1: I post every day because I want to, not because
Speaker 1: I feel like I have to, because it's just like
Speaker 1: it's pouring out of me, like I just it's natural,
Speaker 1: Like I feel I'm a natural storyteller and I love
Speaker 1: to post and that's easy and great. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: I have my business now, I have um my march line,
Speaker 1: I have my radio show, I have all this other
Speaker 1: stuff and I have a great team around me. And
Speaker 1: you have to hire for your weaknesses. I'm not an
Speaker 1: organized person. I'm not an organized person. I'm a I'm
Speaker 1: an ideas person. But I like everybody to say, this
Speaker 1: is what you're doing today, this is what you need
Speaker 1: to get done. This is this and there, You've got
Speaker 1: to be here at this time. And I'm like, okay, great,
Speaker 1: just put me in. Okay, So how many people is that?
Speaker 1: And where are there? And then and then you in
Speaker 1: an office. You're doing this at your house? No, I do.
Speaker 1: To my house. I have I have my management team
Speaker 1: of two, I have my assistant, I have my agents, um,
Speaker 1: and then I know that, yeah, and then I have
Speaker 1: my you know, my publicist and and and it's a
Speaker 1: it's a team effort, it really is. And I'm very,
Speaker 1: very very I've been very lucky with the people that
Speaker 1: have come into my life life and that um that
Speaker 1: make up my team now because they get it. It's
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, it's like, you know, you have to
Speaker 1: get people who who see the vision and who see you,
Speaker 1: who don't want to change you. They really see your
Speaker 1: path and they understand you and they want to go
Speaker 1: on the journey with you and all that sounds very cheesy,
Speaker 1: but it's true. No, it doesn't sound like cheesy at all.
Speaker 1: But but you're, um, you don't have like a like
Speaker 1: a a production team at your health you shitty little
Speaker 1: lights and everybody else in the country. I make all
Speaker 1: my I make all my content and posting all myself.
Speaker 1: No one has access to my social media because so
Speaker 1: many of my younger girls who follow me like they
Speaker 1: are not even younger. Everybody writes to me very incredibly
Speaker 1: personal dilemmas, and I still try to set aside. When
Speaker 1: I've started, I did an hour of d M S
Speaker 1: a day for advice. But now that I have the show,
Speaker 1: the radio show and the pot, I don't have as
Speaker 1: much time. I still try to do half an hour day.
Speaker 1: So it's all very personal. I post everything myself, but
Speaker 1: they write to me about their deep store your secrets.
Speaker 1: I can, and I would never. My content is like
Speaker 1: my purest self. It's like my purest form. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: actually happiest when everybody leaves and I'm digging around in
Speaker 1: my house and I'm making funny videos on my phone alone,
Speaker 1: like that's or writing stuff alone, you know, writing little jokes,
Speaker 1: writing skits like that stuff is when I'm happiest. So
Speaker 1: so interesting because I do find that it can keep
Speaker 1: you company, like and I mean there's a line with
Speaker 1: that too, like looking at your phone, is that it
Speaker 1: can be an abyss and can be like yucky, like
Speaker 1: meaning you can feel like like you're addict. You're like
Speaker 1: in your phone, you haven't done anything, you haven't breathed there,
Speaker 1: you're like but fiddling around with your oatmeal or being
Speaker 1: in the kitchen like making basil oil and then posting it.
Speaker 1: That feels like being an artist a little bit. It
Speaker 1: feels like being a little creative. But that could keep
Speaker 1: you company, make you not want to interact. So where's
Speaker 1: that line, because that is a line. I'm an, I'm
Speaker 1: an introvert, my house, cannot leave my house. It's yeah,
Speaker 1: I I totally get that. I get really and I
Speaker 1: get in on, you know, in kind of a rut. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I'll get I'll get in a rut. I'll be like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't I don't leave my house for
Speaker 1: a couple of days, really get in there with the
Speaker 1: phone and feel really connected to the content and the Internet.
Speaker 1: And then for me, though, I I I'm an introvert,
Speaker 1: but I'm also a party animal. Like I've always loved
Speaker 1: a party and I'm very open about that. So I'll
Speaker 1: always I'll always go through waves of that and sometimes
Speaker 1: it's a couple of months, Like you know, I'll tell
Speaker 1: my followers like I'm going into hibernation. I did that
Speaker 1: in over like December and January. For six weeks, I
Speaker 1: just watched TV and I was just with my followers,
Speaker 1: you know, like, um, and when I say followers, I
Speaker 1: mean you know my community that it's fun of this
Speaker 1: language is new language of community and platforms. Well, I
Speaker 1: was on a podcast the other day and someone thought
Speaker 1: that I meant followers, like I thought I was Jesus
Speaker 1: or something, and I was like, no, that's social media,
Speaker 1: Like that's what that's what you call them? Like, um,
Speaker 1: so I just want to clarify. But for for they
Speaker 1: were like, this girl is so vain, she thinks she's Jesus.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, that's they mean they followed my
Speaker 1: content anyway, Clara exactly. Um. You know, for six weeks,
Speaker 1: I was just like all I would was doing was
Speaker 1: reviewing TV and and my followers actually love when I'm
Speaker 1: home because they love that content. Because I love to
Speaker 1: react to things. I love to be like look at
Speaker 1: watching this, watching that, This is what I think about.
Speaker 1: This is my hot take on that. Um. But then
Speaker 1: I'll go out and I'll have, you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks of party. And I love to I love
Speaker 1: to let off steam. I love to go out, love
Speaker 1: to so it goes it's different. But you know, I
Speaker 1: think that's really interesting and I've never heard someone say
Speaker 1: it like that before. But you're completely right. You articulated
Speaker 1: it so well. It can keep you company. And by
Speaker 1: the way, when the pandemic hit and I first downloaded TikTok,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what it was for me because I was
Speaker 1: I had no one, like, none of my friends would
Speaker 1: see me. Everyone's scared of COVID, like what we all
Speaker 1: thought we were gonna die like I was, so I
Speaker 1: was so out of my mind that I was like,
Speaker 1: I need, I need something, and that that's what it came.
Speaker 1: And I think that's why I have such an emotional
Speaker 1: relationship to my content and my followers, because I was
Speaker 1: like forged in the darkness and like that we went
Speaker 1: through that together. It's interesting. I didn't know it then.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I knew it a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: I told my someone that I worked with about that.
Speaker 1: I thought TikTok was interesting. This is like before the
Speaker 1: damilia like people, and they were like, it's really for
Speaker 1: eight to thirteen year old it's not for you. But
Speaker 1: I was intrigued by it, but I didn't even have
Speaker 1: a computer or an iPad or anything, so I didn't
Speaker 1: understand it. And it's funny that you say that because
Speaker 1: of the whole pandemic and I went through something excruciating
Speaker 1: with my my, my, my daughter and custody and stuff,
Speaker 1: but the whole pandemic, it was myself, my daughter, my
Speaker 1: two dogs. Literally hold up. And I'm glad I didn't
Speaker 1: understand it because it would have it would have been
Speaker 1: that would have been something I would have been feeding
Speaker 1: into and that I was just feeding into my daughter
Speaker 1: and dogs. But you didn't have that, And that's just
Speaker 1: an interesting I will never take that time back. But
Speaker 1: given how strong it is in my mind, I can
Speaker 1: imagine how strong it is in your and your followers,
Speaker 1: your apostles mine. So yeah, um, what are so people
Speaker 1: are big on TikTok are always sort of posting the
Speaker 1: shitty comment that someone says, are really getting aggravated and
Speaker 1: want to get into that with everybody, So, um, are
Speaker 1: there a lot of trolls? And um? Because I haven't
Speaker 1: really experienced that, like one or two bad comments, but
Speaker 1: I hear you and a lot of people talk about
Speaker 1: these trolls. How bad is that? And what are your
Speaker 1: biggest compliments and what are your biggest criticisms. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: comes in waves. It will come in waves. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if it literally comes in waves or it's
Speaker 1: or if it's just like you are paying attention to
Speaker 1: it in waves because listen, when you when you read
Speaker 1: the comments, it's ego, right, that's and I've had a
Speaker 1: lot of therapy about this because it is, it is.
Speaker 1: It is very psychologically damaging. I think, I think, let
Speaker 1: me back up and say, I think it's psychologically damaging
Speaker 1: to read that much about yourself on a daily basis
Speaker 1: good or bad. Right, Like, I don't I don't really
Speaker 1: know what it's doing to my brain to hear, to
Speaker 1: to read a hundred and fifty comments tinks you're so pretty,
Speaker 1: you're the best of yourself, and then one being like
Speaker 1: you're such a bit I I hate you, blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: all this stuff like and they could be all kissing
Speaker 1: yours and that one person could be right, like you think,
Speaker 1: it's just it's a weird thing. So so it comes
Speaker 1: on waves. Listen, there's some really really mean comments. Um,
Speaker 1: there's some really mean trolls. For me, it's not for me.
Speaker 1: It's not about Um, I don't get triggered by the
Speaker 1: you're fat, you're ugly thing anymore. Like I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: Like that's just so lame, Like I don't that doesn't
Speaker 1: face me anymore. To me, it's like when people. I
Speaker 1: can sometimes get triggered when people purposefully it seems like
Speaker 1: misunderstand me or or kind of you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: they take a joke wrong or something like that, like
Speaker 1: that can really get under my skin. Um, but it's
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's so interesting because we always say, now, oh,
Speaker 1: it comes with the territory, right, And sometimes I think,
Speaker 1: why have we just accepted that? Like why have we
Speaker 1: just accepted that? Because I put myself out there and
Speaker 1: I'm public now I should be um open to just
Speaker 1: like this level of criticism. Like can you imagine if
Speaker 1: if all of a sudden, we were like, well, now
Speaker 1: for everyone who's an accountant, you're going to have ten
Speaker 1: people who stand them behind them while they do their accounting,
Speaker 1: just being like you're a fat, you're ugly, you're stupid,
Speaker 1: you're this, you're that. Like why do we just say oh,
Speaker 1: it comes with the territory like it's because it's been
Speaker 1: public extreme rise in a short period of time and
Speaker 1: people are miserable and jealous, and how great for them
Speaker 1: for one second to say something nasty that makes them
Speaker 1: feel powerful and then for you to take the bait.
Speaker 1: It worked. I mean, it happens with little kids all
Speaker 1: the time. Why do the little boys hit little girls
Speaker 1: that they like? Like people just want to get a
Speaker 1: rise they need they like, you know, people are are
Speaker 1: vile and people are mirrors they see you know, why
Speaker 1: you why not them? I mean, you know, it's it's interesting.
Speaker 1: I just think, yeah, it is interesting. I mean sometime
Speaker 1: sometimes it's not even like sometimes it's it's the nonsensical
Speaker 1: comments that get to me the most because I think
Speaker 1: it it triggers something in me where it's almost like
Speaker 1: it's not even about me, but I'm like I want
Speaker 1: to reach out to that person and say, your life
Speaker 1: must be so bad if you have if this is
Speaker 1: where you took it, Like someone made a video about me.
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example, like two days ago and
Speaker 1: they were like, um, the way that Tinks was touching
Speaker 1: her eyeglasses, like is so wrong? And then everyone's commenting yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't think she actually has a prescription like
Speaker 1: she has. And I was like, and it's to me.
Speaker 1: I can't explain to you the feeling that it triggered
Speaker 1: at me because I was like, um, the fact that
Speaker 1: you made a video thinking I was lying about having
Speaker 1: to wear glasses like which I'm not. I'm not sensitive
Speaker 1: about it at all, but I've worn eyeglasses for ten
Speaker 1: years and I wear contact lenses every day. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, so, why like why did you spend
Speaker 1: time of your day doing this? Like right, But you're
Speaker 1: also like why do I care? I've had I love
Speaker 1: You're You're like, why do you care that this idiot
Speaker 1: said this? She says you're a purple class? What does
Speaker 1: that mean? What does it mean? Last night you're losing
Speaker 1: your hair? Okay, this is my hair. You're losing your
Speaker 1: hair that comes with age. It's I know it does,
Speaker 1: thank you for pouring that out. But then you're just
Speaker 1: like you know or something. I had like oil on
Speaker 1: my face because at night I put oil. If it's
Speaker 1: I didn't disclaimer, I didn't send out a newsletter, but
Speaker 1: I had like a bomb on my face. Why is
Speaker 1: your face to always so greasy. I don't even have
Speaker 1: oil skin. Like now I'm like worried about the fact
Speaker 1: that I, like I have greasy skin, dry skin. I
Speaker 1: guess it's like it's just like it's so you know,
Speaker 1: and it's just so silly, and I you know, when
Speaker 1: I started out, I really had a hard time with it.
Speaker 1: In the beginning, I was like because it's it was shocking,
Speaker 1: and it came on so fast, and I had never
Speaker 1: experienced anything like it. And I really worked hard in therapy.
Speaker 1: And now I'm in a pretty good place where I'm
Speaker 1: like pretty, I'm pretty just I don't really care anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't really read the comments, like if
Speaker 1: you don't, if you don't like me, like that's cool,
Speaker 1: just scroll and And the thing that I always come
Speaker 1: back to that that really helps me to mantra is
Speaker 1: like no one more happy or more successful than me
Speaker 1: would ever talk down to me, like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, no one, no one, no one who's
Speaker 1: killing it is ever going to be like your this
Speaker 1: or that things, You're not funny like the only people
Speaker 1: it's It's really helped me. It's really that's a great note.
Speaker 1: It's a great note. Wow, um, what is the big picture?
Speaker 1: This is an interesting career and do you are you
Speaker 1: do you worry about the big picture? Do you have
Speaker 1: a big grand plan or do you are you putting
Speaker 1: one foot in front of the other and and just
Speaker 1: enjoying the moment and seeing what happens. It's a mix.
Speaker 1: There's a lot I want to accomplish, There's a lot,
Speaker 1: a lot, a lot um but I'm you know, I'm
Speaker 1: also taking it one one day at a time and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to enjoy the process and I'm trying to enjoy.
Speaker 1: Like I can be a very goal oriented person and
Speaker 1: like I set the goal or the thing that I
Speaker 1: want to do, and then I'm a very tunnel vision.
Speaker 1: But that is quite exhausting for me, and it also
Speaker 1: makes it you know, that's not what life is. Life
Speaker 1: is actually in between, right, It's actually the days where
Speaker 1: you're just like, you know, one percent better, You're just
Speaker 1: working on something. It's like, that's life. It's not actually
Speaker 1: the day you want to the podcast, It's that it's
Speaker 1: all the days leading up to it. So um, I
Speaker 1: think the big picture is I love what I do.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to grow up with my followers. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to you know, speak to them on new
Speaker 1: platforms in new ways. And I want to do them all.
Speaker 1: I mean I always joke like aside from a singing career,
Speaker 1: I want it all, um. And but I'm also just
Speaker 1: trying to be present and be grounded and be like
Speaker 1: whoa this is? I'm really in a happy It's so funny,
Speaker 1: Like for women, it's so hard for us to say
Speaker 1: this stuff because I never want to feel you know,
Speaker 1: but I feel very grateful right now and I feel
Speaker 1: very happy with my life. And um, I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to enjoy it and work really hard and work on
Speaker 1: the next, the next thing. Do you want to be
Speaker 1: on TV? Do you want to talk show? Do you
Speaker 1: want that other medium? Or I want new mediums? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want I want new mediums. I want to do movies,
Speaker 1: I want to do TV. I want to do it all. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, I think at the core of everything I
Speaker 1: do with storytelling, and I'm especially obsessed with connecting with
Speaker 1: other women through um, you know, the joint experience of
Speaker 1: what it is to be a woman. So I think,
Speaker 1: like you know, exploring those stories in different mediums and
Speaker 1: and talking to my followers in new ways. Um, is
Speaker 1: what I'm really focused on. Is there real money and
Speaker 1: what you're doing, Like is this has it become real?
Speaker 1: Like do you feel like, wow, I can kind of
Speaker 1: do what I want? Or are you still super frugal
Speaker 1: and have poor mentality? Like where are you in that
Speaker 1: whole noise about money? I just feel so um. I
Speaker 1: just feel so proud like that I can that I
Speaker 1: can live my life now and I do treat myself sometimes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I do. I but like I said this morning on
Speaker 1: my show, I said, like, because I'm taking home, I'm
Speaker 1: taking ten friends to Coachella and I got I got
Speaker 1: the house, I got the artist passed for us, and like,
Speaker 1: to me, the number one greatest thing that has come
Speaker 1: out of all this is like my followers and my
Speaker 1: relationship with them and like what I how I can
Speaker 1: connect with women. The second best thing I'm going to
Speaker 1: be honest is like being able to treat my friends
Speaker 1: is to me like sex. It's like the best feeling
Speaker 1: in the world. It's so fun, Like it makes it
Speaker 1: so fun and they're all so fun and it's just like,
Speaker 1: you know, they were there for me in different times
Speaker 1: of my life when I was just like, you know,
Speaker 1: crying and being like a loser and like not knowing
Speaker 1: what was going on, and to be able to do
Speaker 1: things for the people that you love is the best
Speaker 1: feeling in the world. And it's very cool. And it's
Speaker 1: just like, like, to me, that's cooler than buying a
Speaker 1: bag of course, you know, yeah, it's amazing. I love that. Well, um,
Speaker 1: that little microphone thing, whether you invented it or not,
Speaker 1: is that a bit or that's a real thing? Does
Speaker 1: that function? Is there functions? Functions you don't need? You
Speaker 1: don't need it. I just like, I'll be honest, there
Speaker 1: was not any great strategy when I ordered it. I
Speaker 1: was like in quarantine and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was like drinking wine one night and I was
Speaker 1: thinking like, oh my god, well I'm like a mini reporter,
Speaker 1: Like how fun That's what I thought that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like, I just think it's so funny to like
Speaker 1: hold it. And I also I kind of have like
Speaker 1: a little bit of a lisp and someone commented like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should do a SMR and I was like, maybe
Speaker 1: got one of those mini microphones. And then I just
Speaker 1: started holding it and became my thing. So I wish
Speaker 1: that there was some great strategy. But it was I
Speaker 1: just didn't know. I was so dumb in the beginning.
Speaker 1: I thought people needed it to do whatever tech they would.
Speaker 1: It's a bit yeah, okay, I didn't know if it
Speaker 1: was a bit. Okay, we have a big problem here.
Speaker 1: It's very important. One. You like chopped salads. Ili And
Speaker 1: I was the hostess at Lascala just so you know, okay,
Speaker 1: and I got a free twenty one dollar salad every
Speaker 1: day because I loaded everything on it. Because you know
Speaker 1: if you've been there that you add on and the turkey,
Speaker 1: and they had on for everything. It only comes to salami,
Speaker 1: provolone and chickpeas and that dressing and iceberg, which is
Speaker 1: so cheap. So and I used to get it with romaine,
Speaker 1: which is much more. But I never understood chopping salad
Speaker 1: because it becomes water. You're like, it's like a smoothie
Speaker 1: of salad. That's one I want to get into with you. No,
Speaker 1: there's I know you think it's truffle. It's not just
Speaker 1: truffle salad in a cup. Like I'm also offended you
Speaker 1: put salads and cups so you like eating salad out
Speaker 1: of us. I'm secondary like, very offended by that and
Speaker 1: three saying just as a blanket statement, just a blanket
Speaker 1: statement that you don't like truffle, Like, these are bones
Speaker 1: to pick. I have a couple of questions after that,
Speaker 1: but they're not as important. So those are bones bones
Speaker 1: to pick, Like soggy salad truffle. I just like a
Speaker 1: big trough of salad that's small and I eat. I
Speaker 1: like to eat it with a spoon so I can
Speaker 1: shovel it in and it's all like mixed up, because
Speaker 1: I need every bite to have every single piece of flavor.
Speaker 1: And from my thinking, like if the salad is chopped
Speaker 1: and the bits are smaller than the surface area that's
Speaker 1: covered by the dressing is greater, that's fair. But the
Speaker 1: and the mix of water, but that that makes some sense.
Speaker 1: It's you're lathering you like a spato. I love a caspao. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. I love yeah. But I love salads
Speaker 1: so much, like in a really non ironic way, I
Speaker 1: just like it's I fucking love salad. And then the
Speaker 1: trouffle thing. Listen, I don't like a trouffle fry, but
Speaker 1: I do like a truffle pasta, a truffle risotto. Sure, fresh,
Speaker 1: but it has to be. You know, hate to sound douchy,
Speaker 1: but like to me, when I think of truffle fries,
Speaker 1: I think of like those like awful brunches that I
Speaker 1: would go to in New York City, like on a
Speaker 1: Saturday morning, and it's like a big cavern and it
Speaker 1: smells like feet, and then it's like not real truffle fry.
Speaker 1: It's like, damn, it's truffle perfuct. And then I'm like,
Speaker 1: like thinking about that. But if you're getting out the
Speaker 1: fucking thing, if you're walking over my table, pulling out
Speaker 1: the rock, telling me you bought it from Italy, shaving
Speaker 1: it on my pasta, absolutely I'm because I didn't want
Speaker 1: to call you out. Imagine I see you in a
Speaker 1: restaurant and you're eating truffle, and then I'll be able
Speaker 1: to know truffle trolls. Fact like a truffle troll apostle. Um.
Speaker 1: So all right, well, I understand the spoon in the salad.
Speaker 1: Whenever I'm not gonna ad, It's like I wanted you
Speaker 1: just drink get a curing and put some fucking salad
Speaker 1: in it and drink salad coffee. It's disgusting. I can't
Speaker 1: even think about it. Gross, um, so what has been
Speaker 1: your rose and your thorn um of all this? Truly, truly,
Speaker 1: the connections that I have with with people, like the
Speaker 1: girls who come up to me and say, you know,
Speaker 1: like like a girl that I haven't um, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen her since college and she texts men and we
Speaker 1: weren't close in college, but she texts me to get hey,
Speaker 1: I you know, I still had your numbers somehow. I
Speaker 1: just want you to know I was engaged and I
Speaker 1: you know, I knew it wasn't right in my heart,
Speaker 1: and through following you, I kind of got the courage
Speaker 1: to leave him because you always say you're not too
Speaker 1: old and it's not too late, and you know, you
Speaker 1: really taught me a lot about self worth. Or like
Speaker 1: I was at a wedding, this girl came up to me,
Speaker 1: she said, you know, I have had a really tough
Speaker 1: time in life, and I finally got up the courage
Speaker 1: to go to therapy because you said therapy was cool.
Speaker 1: Like I fucking live for that ship. Everything like that.
Speaker 1: The individual connections I have every time that I that I,
Speaker 1: you know, help someone out, like with a even a
Speaker 1: mental trick whatever, Like it's that's the roads the thorn is, um,
Speaker 1: I I don't know. I'm a very I'm a very
Speaker 1: optimistic person. I'm a very like, yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't have a thorn. I don't have a thorn.
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful. I I I've just grown immensely as
Speaker 1: a person over the last two years. I feel very lucky, Like, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't have a thorn. I love it.
Speaker 1: And then I guess just the last question is the
Speaker 1: percentage because lucky and smart? What percentage are you lucky?
Speaker 1: And what percentage is smart? That is a really really
Speaker 1: tough one. Um yeah, I kind of believe like you
Speaker 1: make your own luck a little bit like I kind
Speaker 1: of believe people, especially with careers in the public eye.
Speaker 1: Jenakkin talks a lot about this too. People are always like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, she's just like right place, right time, you
Speaker 1: know whatever. But it's like a lot of who's j
Speaker 1: And I've heard the name, but I don't know she's
Speaker 1: she's a massive celebrity hairstylist and she has her own
Speaker 1: line and she's Yeah, she's wrote wrote an amazing book
Speaker 1: really about working and a work ethic, and I really
Speaker 1: admire her. But She always says, like, you know, people
Speaker 1: just think, oh, you know, they're just prettier, they were
Speaker 1: in the right space, space at the right time, or
Speaker 1: you know whatever. But um, yeah, that's a tough one.
Speaker 1: I think of a good mix. I think I've been
Speaker 1: very lucky in my life. But I but I know,
Speaker 1: you got to know when to make hay while the
Speaker 1: sun shines, you got the show up exactly. You've got
Speaker 1: to be ready and waiting. And like, I think that
Speaker 1: that's part of it. Is what I've been able to
Speaker 1: do over the past two years is because it's like
Speaker 1: I knew the feeling when right away I was like
Speaker 1: it hit and I was like this is it, and
Speaker 1: you go, you know, it's like the way the set
Speaker 1: is coming, you have to ride all those ways to
Speaker 1: the IPCT. Yeah, because I've been I've been floating out there.
Speaker 1: I've been floating and I'm like, where what's going on?
Speaker 1: And in those moments, I try to tell tell people like,
Speaker 1: you know, if if there's nothing right in front of you,
Speaker 1: it's okay, don't struggle, don't just sit in the water
Speaker 1: and flail and be like whatever. But when you see
Speaker 1: that wave coming, you get on your fucking board, you
Speaker 1: put your eyes forward and you go that you're ready,
Speaker 1: and then when you're you know then and the tables
Speaker 1: are high, you press your bets you're at those. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well we're similar and we've had interestingly similar trajectors. As
Speaker 1: I talked to you, I didn't know much about you,
Speaker 1: but I remember being on Housewives and talking about to
Speaker 1: this guy about moving in and on camera because he
Speaker 1: didn't want to be on the show, but the audience
Speaker 1: doesn't know that. He was like, we'll talk about this later,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, but aren't we gonna move in? Like
Speaker 1: a k the producers want me to talk about this
Speaker 1: even and he's like, we'll talk about it later. I
Speaker 1: kept digging myself in deeper and back to high school,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't cool to be the one who got
Speaker 1: broken up with the way that I came up, Like
Speaker 1: you're sitting here getting sort of broken up with Ish
Speaker 1: and the the viewers where you are Harry Bradshaw and
Speaker 1: I became flawed and I became real and it feels
Speaker 1: like that's what you are. So you're flawed and people
Speaker 1: are feeling good about that. Trying to be perfect, which
Speaker 1: is what most people are trying to be and so
Speaker 1: I applaud that. And also you publicly mentioned be Strong
Speaker 1: relief effort. So the ice cream that we did, we're
Speaker 1: going to give the proceeds to UM to be strong.
Speaker 1: And I just what you do is so amazing thing
Speaker 1: and it's it's genuinely inspiring. It's and what I like
Speaker 1: about it. You know, when everything when the tragedy started happening,
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, it's another conversation, but I looked,
Speaker 1: you know, they say look for the helpers. You're a helper.
Speaker 1: You are doing You're saying exactly where the money is going,
Speaker 1: exactly the impact it's having your and you are a
Speaker 1: operations you are you know how to execute, you know
Speaker 1: how to get shipped done, and that's the best thing
Speaker 1: that that we need right now. So I want to
Speaker 1: thank you for everything UM that that you've done. It's
Speaker 1: really amazing work and I'm really really happy to support it. Well.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, and that's you. You have a Sunday
Speaker 1: at Craig's called the Tank Sunday, your own ice cream
Speaker 1: because it's in its vegan UM. But I appreciate that
Speaker 1: because one of the things I will say celebrities post
Speaker 1: links of something that somebody else says that they're doing
Speaker 1: and I see it and there's always a middle person.
Speaker 1: So people like you who have influencers are saying, go
Speaker 1: donate here, but it's not you that doing it. So
Speaker 1: you're telling them to go donate, and often the people
Speaker 1: don't know where that money is going if that makes
Speaker 1: it So I'm like, no, I'm in charge of the money.
Speaker 1: Like it's being run like a business, and most people
Speaker 1: aren't good business people, so why would most or be good?
Speaker 1: So I know there's like you know, there's links flying
Speaker 1: and there's just so much noise, and I'm like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to give my money to someone who knows
Speaker 1: what then they're doing and how to make an impact.
Speaker 1: End of story. It's it's actually we are streamlined, we
Speaker 1: are economical, we're organized, and I just appreciate that because
Speaker 1: I see a lot of them like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: why do they give the goes to not the effort.
Speaker 1: I get fascinated. You know, you're amazing. You're amazing seated
Speaker 1: my expectations, which means guy, So I can't wait to
Speaker 1: meet you in person. I'm in l A in June.
Speaker 1: I have an event, maybe I'll come. It's I love that.
Speaker 1: I admire you so much. Thank you, this is a
Speaker 1: great this is a great talk. Than Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Have a great day. So I didn't know what to
Speaker 1: expect from the Tinks interview. I mean, she's interesting, she's successful,
Speaker 1: she seems fun and sassy and smart. I didn't know
Speaker 1: a lot about her. I just know that I'm aware
Speaker 1: of her, and she reminds me of me, a younger me.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's crazy. I've never said that about another guest.
Speaker 1: I've never said about another guest that they remind me
Speaker 1: of me when I was much younger. But uh, Tinks
Speaker 1: was really honest, confident, sure of herself in a good way,
Speaker 1: comfortable in her own shoes, vulnerable, flawed, wise, connected, connected.
Speaker 1: She really keeps going back to being connected to her followers,
Speaker 1: to um this audience that really helped to make her
Speaker 1: who she is. It's really amazing. I applaud her success,
Speaker 1: congratulate her, and she's just shows that anything's really possible,
Speaker 1: you can make anything happen. So I really enjoyed that
Speaker 1: a lot. Thank you for listening, Rate, review and subscribe.
Speaker 1: But we are killing it and I'm so excited and
Speaker 1: I owe it all to you, yah h.