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Speaker 1: CUTI misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two places

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Speaker 1: to find true love in this world. One is an

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Speaker 1: aisle sixteen of Walmart when you both reach for the

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Speaker 1: same tube of a mulcified cheeseburger paste. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you you. The other is on the pages of craigslist

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Speaker 1: dot org. We scour that website every week to find

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Speaker 1: the best misconnections that they have to offer, like this

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Speaker 1: first one, titled love at First Audit man for woman

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Speaker 1: thirties Starbucks Downtown says you cute barista, long dark hair,

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Speaker 1: peanut shaped earrings, and a smile that could make me

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Speaker 1: blush from the waist down. What you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be blessing down there, buddy? Yeah? Me tall guy with

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Speaker 1: a blue suit covered in mystery stains. I didn't disclose

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Speaker 1: this to you in person, but I'm an ir S

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Speaker 1: agent who was on my break and I tried to

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Speaker 1: make conversation by asking, if you declare all your tips

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Speaker 1: on your taxes, you may have just found the most

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Speaker 1: unsexy job that he ever existed. You replied, I have

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Speaker 1: to do that. Pretty funny? Were you? I think you were? Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I continue to flirt by explaining the differences from this

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Speaker 1: year's tax code to last year's, and how economic diversity

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Speaker 1: can play into each submission we receive submission. I got

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Speaker 1: the vibe that we were connecting because I thought you

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Speaker 1: were taking all that info down, But then I realized

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Speaker 1: you were just writing my name on my cup. Oh sir, job.

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Speaker 1: Bottom line, we have a lot in common. We both

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Speaker 1: have stains on our workout fits, and we both deal

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Speaker 1: with money. Yeah, there's no reason you should have stains

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Speaker 1: on a muddy workout fit if you see this. Let's

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Speaker 1: discuss the wonders of tax evasion over a mohito or two. Wait,

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Speaker 1: wait my god, he's for it. That's signed LEO and

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Speaker 1: then in parentheses the three legged taxman lea. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: see what he did there. Get Let's go to your

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Speaker 1: next misconnection titled I'll be your Greek freak woman for

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Speaker 1: man thirties Mediterranean food truck. Oh my god, I like

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Speaker 1: this one already? Is that bad? I want me to

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Speaker 1: You were the authentic Greek man who helps me with

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Speaker 1: my order yesterday. I say authentic because I could smell

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Speaker 1: the olive oil dripping from your hair as you handed

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Speaker 1: me back my chain. But a little here a little here.

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Speaker 1: Do you don't remember I was the heavy set burnette

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Speaker 1: with the tan hoodie that said on the front, it's

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Speaker 1: a beautiful day to leave me alone. I like in

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Speaker 1: retrospect that was a mistake because I wanted you to

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Speaker 1: do the opposite. It does sound a message don't talk

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Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, I approach. I want you to maybe

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Speaker 1: get in my business. Sorry, direct today, after I ordered,

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Speaker 1: you told me to wait by the picnic table for

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Speaker 1: my name to be called out, so I did. Boy,

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Speaker 1: was that a mistake? Why? It was just me and

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Speaker 1: a Suzeki sauce squirt bottle, and every time you turned

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Speaker 1: back to talk with the cook, I squirted some directly

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Speaker 1: in my mouth. One time I missed and it got

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Speaker 1: all over my hoodie came it, came back to the window,

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Speaker 1: and you handed me a handful of napkins, then winked

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Speaker 1: at me, saying you had to take a leak. What.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that was a metaphor. The cook ended

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Speaker 1: up bringing up my hero, and as I was driving away,

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Speaker 1: I saw you relieving yourself behind a tree. Apparently your

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Speaker 1: hair isn't the only thing that's Greek mean. I came

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Speaker 1: back today to see you again, but I was disappointed

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Speaker 1: to find a taco truck in your spot, Gringo star.

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Speaker 1: I still ordered from them, but I couldn't stop thinking

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Speaker 1: about you. That sign olive sign o, It's meant to

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Speaker 1: be Wow Fate. This next misconnection is titled Romance Lance

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Speaker 1: and his Fresh pair of pants Please, twenties Laundromat. I

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Speaker 1: was the swollen college dude with gray sweats and a

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Speaker 1: yellow tank top. You were the cute blonde in the

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Speaker 1: Baylor sweatshirt sitting on the dryer reading al is an

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Speaker 1: inconvenient truth. Oh oh, this is so college. I'll be hunted.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were adorable and I needed an opener,

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Speaker 1: and thinking about it almost hurt my brain. Oh could

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Speaker 1: I jokingly try to convince you that climate change is

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Speaker 1: a hoax? Then end up in a secret tickle fight?

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Speaker 1: Secret tickle fighter is not what you're gonna get. No,

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Speaker 1: maybe not, so I went with a different approach. I

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Speaker 1: flashed my wicked smile at you, and then asked if

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Speaker 1: I could borrow a dryer sheet. You handed me one,

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Speaker 1: and then you watched in awe as I rubbed it

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Speaker 1: on my pits. No, I told you I saw that

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Speaker 1: trick on good Morning America once because I watched it

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Speaker 1: with my mom in high school. Okay, we could have

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Speaker 1: gone just with TikTok or something. Hopefully that was a

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Speaker 1: turn on me being close with my mom and all. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't tend to be. You were tough to read.

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Speaker 1: So I just walked around the laundromat in a circle

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Speaker 1: for the next twenty minutes, passing you frequently. One time

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Speaker 1: you looked up from your book and I smiled again

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Speaker 1: and said, just get my steps in. As you were folding.

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Speaker 1: I wrote my number down and slipped it into your hamper.

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Speaker 1: But so far no call. I'm not worried though you

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Speaker 1: probably don't have a cell phone because it's quote bad

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Speaker 1: for the environment that she would probably say that. And

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Speaker 1: if you see this borrow of friends and let's kick it.

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Speaker 1: Oh ah that signed Duban, I smell downy fresh. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: those are your Craigslist misconnections for the week. We got

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Speaker 1: your phone Jap coming up in just a few minutes.