Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big
Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever
Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to
Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode as we as
Speaker 1: always break down the psychology of our twenties. Today we're
Speaker 1: going to have a bit more of a chit chat.
Speaker 1: She'll sit down and discuss episode, more of a casual episode,
Speaker 1: more of a personal episode today. I like to do
Speaker 1: these every now and again. This podcast is kind of
Speaker 1: also a bit of a diary and a journal for
Speaker 1: me through my twenties. As much as I love the
Speaker 1: research and I love of thinking about all the science,
Speaker 1: I also like to be able to look back on
Speaker 1: the episodes that I've done in the past and kind
Speaker 1: of see where I was at in that moment, and
Speaker 1: this episode is one of those. It's kind of a
Speaker 1: nice time I think to do a little check in.
Speaker 1: The reason being is because I just turned twenty four.
Speaker 1: I am sure there are a lot of people listening
Speaker 1: to this, who are like, oh my gosh, you are
Speaker 1: such a baby. Twenty four years old. What are you
Speaker 1: talking about? That is so young? But in my eyes,
Speaker 1: obviously it's the oldest I've ever been, duh. But it's
Speaker 1: also really interesting because I view birthdays with such fear
Speaker 1: and just such anxiety, and I think that that is
Speaker 1: a very common experience, this fear of getting older, this
Speaker 1: fear of having additional responsibilities, of realizing that time is
Speaker 1: finite and that you're kind of churning through the amount
Speaker 1: of years that you might have available on this earth.
Speaker 1: I know it's sounds very existential because it is. And
Speaker 1: I remember being maybe like sixteen. I have this very
Speaker 1: distinct memory of being around that age and thinking, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, twenty four that is so old. That is
Speaker 1: so old. People at that age must have everything together,
Speaker 1: like I'm going to have a house at that age,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have children, I'm gonna have my little pet
Speaker 1: dog or whatever it was. And here I am at
Speaker 1: that age now looking back at the vision that my
Speaker 1: younger self had, and I'm just in a completely different
Speaker 1: place than I thought I would be. And I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's just me but I always find that
Speaker 1: birthdays are such a point of like reflection but also anxiety,
Speaker 1: because it really puts into perspective really how finite we have,
Speaker 1: much finite time we actually have on the earth, and
Speaker 1: how much there is to do, how much there is
Speaker 1: to achieve, how much love there is to give, and
Speaker 1: the ways in which we might be wasting that time
Speaker 1: or not taking complete advantage of that. So, yes, that
Speaker 1: is a long ramble, but it was my birthday. It
Speaker 1: was amazing. I had a great time. My boyfriend took
Speaker 1: me out for dinner, and then I went out to
Speaker 1: dinner with a bunch of my friends. And it's really
Speaker 1: nice to be around friends who have known you for
Speaker 1: a while and also new friends. You know, people that
Speaker 1: I've known since high school and since literally my first
Speaker 1: day of union, then people I only met last year,
Speaker 1: and my partner, and it's just a very beautiful experience.
Speaker 1: I always try to make a big deal out of
Speaker 1: my birthday. If you know me personally, you're probably laughing
Speaker 1: at that statement because you know how true that is.
Speaker 1: For my twenty first birthday, I think I tried to
Speaker 1: like distract myself from my fear of aging by just
Speaker 1: going all out I had. It was literally the Festival
Speaker 1: of Gemma. I had three birthday parties. It was a
Speaker 1: bit overkill, but I think in my mind, I was like,
Speaker 1: if I can make this exciting, maybe I can suppress
Speaker 1: some of the anxiety I have around my finite existence
Speaker 1: on this planet and around the fact that I am
Speaker 1: getting older and I may not have achieved everything that
Speaker 1: I wanted to at this age. It's also inevitable that
Speaker 1: on every birthday I have, I always end up crying.
Speaker 1: This year, I am proud to say I cried from
Speaker 1: a happy place, from a positive place. I felt so loved,
Speaker 1: so surrounded by good people. I think this is also
Speaker 1: one of the first times in my life that I've
Speaker 1: just felt true peace, peace with who I am peace with,
Speaker 1: where I'm at peace with the people around me once again.
Speaker 1: Birthdays are such a point of reflection, and I think
Speaker 1: back to where I was last year and the year
Speaker 1: before when I first moved to Sydney and I didn't
Speaker 1: have any friends, and the year before that when I
Speaker 1: was celebrating my first birthday after being through like a
Speaker 1: horrific breakup and not having this person that I'd been
Speaker 1: around for two year years and every point. Every year
Speaker 1: is just kind of a further opportunity to really see
Speaker 1: how far I've come, but then also how much is
Speaker 1: left in the future. So let's talk about this fear
Speaker 1: of aging. If you can relate, I'm sure there are
Speaker 1: many of you. Why does it feel so oppressive and
Speaker 1: scary sometimes to acknowledge that we're getting older? For me,
Speaker 1: I think it's that birthdays symbolize being closer to death,
Speaker 1: and it is very innate and natural as a human,
Speaker 1: as a mammal, as a species to fear death, to
Speaker 1: fear what that brings the unknown. Of course, there are
Speaker 1: many people who have different conceptions and different ideas of
Speaker 1: what comes afterwards. For me, I don't think I really
Speaker 1: have one, and so thinking about how each year represents
Speaker 1: less time to be alive, it also represents less time
Speaker 1: before the unknown, and that's seriously what I'm probably most
Speaker 1: scared of. It's not that I'm scared of the added responsibility.
Speaker 1: I think it's not that I'm scared of growing up
Speaker 1: in the sense of giving up the younger versions of myself.
Speaker 1: There's a whole syndrome around that called Peter Pan syndrome,
Speaker 1: which basically talks about people who are like fight against
Speaker 1: growing older because they're scared of what it means to
Speaker 1: be an adult. Specifically, they're scared of losing joy and
Speaker 1: wonder and a lack of responsibility and a lack of accountability.
Speaker 1: That's a whole different episode, a whole different conversation. I
Speaker 1: don't think I necessarily have that. I think I recognize
Speaker 1: how much of a privilege it is to get older,
Speaker 1: and what a privilege it is to age. And I've
Speaker 1: always said that. I think about all my friends who
Speaker 1: are in their thirties, and they genuinely just get their
Speaker 1: lives just seem to get better. They get hotter, they
Speaker 1: get more successful, they have more money, they have more fun,
Speaker 1: they have more freedom. It seems to me they really
Speaker 1: know themselves more. So I'm excited for that. I'm excited
Speaker 1: for my thirties. I'm excited for my forties and my fifties.
Speaker 1: My mom seems like she's having an amazing time. Those
Speaker 1: new chapters are thrilling to me. And I think that
Speaker 1: there used to be such a sense of like, your
Speaker 1: twenties are the best years of your life. When those
Speaker 1: are done, what everything else is a wasteland, Like there's
Speaker 1: nothing left afterwards. That is a massive misconception. Obviously, I've
Speaker 1: I talk about our twenties twice a week, all the time,
Speaker 1: everywhere I go, But I really don't think that your
Speaker 1: life ends the moment you turn thirty. There is a
Speaker 1: recognition that there is a lot of beauty and grace
Speaker 1: and excitement in aging, But it's that catch twenty two
Speaker 1: of realizing that the more you grow into yourself, the
Speaker 1: more versions you have to say goodbye to, and the
Speaker 1: less time you have in front of you. I think
Speaker 1: it's that mortality alarm, that inbuilt mortality alarm that we
Speaker 1: all have, that we all that we have as mamma,
Speaker 1: as a species that realizes how fragile life is, that
Speaker 1: starts to really sound off and blare every birthday because
Speaker 1: it's a significant kind of triggering event or like anniversary
Speaker 1: of acknowledgment of birth and death and how they're very
Speaker 1: like interlinked. I know that sounds very deeply philosophical, but
Speaker 1: I have honestly thought about this so much. I also
Speaker 1: think that another factor around this fear of aging thing
Speaker 1: is that birthdays make us very conscious of time passing.
Speaker 1: When I was a kid, even a teenager, that used
Speaker 1: to really really scare me because it felt like something
Speaker 1: I could not control. Time, this like weird entity that
Speaker 1: none of us can really visualize. It was just slipping
Speaker 1: away from me and I wasn't able to do anything
Speaker 1: about it. And I would sit and I would spial
Speaker 1: and I would think about it. And I remember distinctly
Speaker 1: watching this bird at my window when I was in university, fluttering,
Speaker 1: and every time it flooded from one side to the other,
Speaker 1: I was like, that's a second gone. That's another second gone.
Speaker 1: That's a second gone. Like time is just rolling on
Speaker 1: and on and on, and it feels like this freight
Speaker 1: train that's just going to destroy everything in its path,
Speaker 1: and eventually it's going to destroy me. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of fear there. There's a lot of fear there, I
Speaker 1: think from when I was a child and not feeling
Speaker 1: in control. That still feels really relevant now. And it
Speaker 1: is very claustrophobic in a sense to not feel like
Speaker 1: there is this big thing in your life that dictates
Speaker 1: so much about your future, so much about what you
Speaker 1: can achieve that you have no control over. Time is
Speaker 1: just existing and you just operate within it. If you
Speaker 1: get to kind of meta about it, it does get
Speaker 1: genuinely quite scary. It's also the sense of, like, every
Speaker 1: year I feel further and further detached from them memories
Speaker 1: and the periods in my life that I really cherish,
Speaker 1: specifically that feeling of being a child, and also the
Speaker 1: feeling of being a teenager and in my early twenties
Speaker 1: when I felt so chaotic and unbridled and free, and
Speaker 1: just how absolutely amazing that was, even if at the
Speaker 1: time it probably didn't feel that great. It's this idea
Speaker 1: of like the rose tinted lenses, right, like, we tend
Speaker 1: to look back at our memories more fondly than they
Speaker 1: actually were on the moment. Because I know as a child,
Speaker 1: I really wanted to get older. I couldn't wait to
Speaker 1: have responsibility and freedom. I know that I was going
Speaker 1: through a lot of hard things. I was being bullied.
Speaker 1: I know that when I was in my late teens
Speaker 1: early twenties, I was heartbroken and unsure of who I was.
Speaker 1: But there is something about that time that I miss
Speaker 1: that I really miss, and it is really overwhelming to
Speaker 1: realize that you're probably, you're not probably you're never going
Speaker 1: to get that back, You're never going to be a
Speaker 1: kid again. That time is past, that chapter is closed,
Speaker 1: and it brings on a massive nostalgia wave for me
Speaker 1: around this time. I don't know if you guys can
Speaker 1: relate every time, like I know that we've said birthdays
Speaker 1: are a time of reflection that's pretty obvious, but it's
Speaker 1: also a really deep time of nostalgia for me, thinking
Speaker 1: about all the things that I did as a child
Speaker 1: and how joyous and free I was, and whether I've
Speaker 1: given those things up. The older I get, whether this
Speaker 1: younger version of me would be happy with where I am.
Speaker 1: If it's not obvious, I'm very much stuck in like
Speaker 1: the romantic parts of the past rather than the reality
Speaker 1: of it. So that is like a massive component for
Speaker 1: me feeling like I feel less attached to previous versions
Speaker 1: of me and recognizing that I can't go back, but
Speaker 1: then also recognizing that, like what I'm doing right now,
Speaker 1: like these years of my life are also going to
Speaker 1: be my golden years, and I really need to take
Speaker 1: advantage of them, because in five years time, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be looking at what I'm doing right now and
Speaker 1: feeling the same way that I felt about my twenty
Speaker 1: year old self, nineteen year old self, whatever she was doing.
Speaker 1: She was a mess, but she was also having a
Speaker 1: great time. And like, sometimes I think that I've kind
Speaker 1: of grown up too quickly in a sense, and that
Speaker 1: I've forced myself into becoming like a real adult too soon.
Speaker 1: And I think that's because for many years of my life,
Speaker 1: like it was always like how I'm very mature for
Speaker 1: my age, and people being like, we're very wise, wise
Speaker 1: beyond your years, and I take that as like a
Speaker 1: massive compliment, Like I really appreciate when people say that,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, yeah, but some of my friends are
Speaker 1: still doing things that just seem so fun, Like they're
Speaker 1: still learning those lessons through mistakes that I feel like
Speaker 1: I haven't gotten to make, or they're still going out
Speaker 1: and partying and just like geting being obliterated, and like
Speaker 1: I'm not really down for that anymore. But when I
Speaker 1: turn thirty five, am I gonna be like, geez, it's
Speaker 1: been ten years since I last like went clubbing, Like gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm such a granny and I'm like not even halfway
Speaker 1: through life yet. It's this constantly contemplation of like the
Speaker 1: what ifs, and wanting to avoid regret in every sense
Speaker 1: of the word regret in my friendship's regret in my career,
Speaker 1: regret in my life experiences, because every year I'm more
Speaker 1: conscious that you don't get that time back. So it
Speaker 1: feels so much more valuable to me, so much more precious,
Speaker 1: something to be coveted, something to really really ensure you
Speaker 1: take advantage of. I think we did speak about this before,
Speaker 1: but it is I think what drives our fear of
Speaker 1: aging is the fear of the unknown, not just in
Speaker 1: terms of death, because fear of death, I think, is
Speaker 1: a complete different subject. I think everyone in some sense
Speaker 1: has a fear of death and what comes afterwards, but
Speaker 1: the fear of the unknow more so in terms of
Speaker 1: the fear of the future. I have built my like
Speaker 1: entire career at this stage of my life off of
Speaker 1: being twenty or in my twenties. Like this podcast is
Speaker 1: called the Psychology of your twenties, and people always ask me, oh, like,
Speaker 1: so when you turn thirty, you're gonna do the Psychology
Speaker 1: of your thirties, And I'm like, I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Like I'm so, I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: get through this, Like should I do that? Will I
Speaker 1: be like ready for something different? By them? Like is
Speaker 1: it any different? People always message me in or like,
Speaker 1: I'm not in my twenties anymore, but this is like
Speaker 1: still the exact same kind of stuff that I'm going through.
Speaker 1: But yeah, really it puts into perspective that, like, I
Speaker 1: realistically only have like six more years to take advantage
Speaker 1: of these experiences before I turn thirty, And is my
Speaker 1: whole life going to be like the girl who talks
Speaker 1: about her twenties even when she's not in them. I
Speaker 1: don't know whether that's what I want, But I also
Speaker 1: know that I'm just borrowing fear from the future, right,
Speaker 1: Like I always think about this. When we worry about
Speaker 1: the future, we're just borrowing anxiety from that chapter in
Speaker 1: our life that we're still going to fear feel. Then
Speaker 1: you're just feeling that same like pattern of fear and
Speaker 1: those same emotions twice, Like you don't need to worry
Speaker 1: as much about what's going to happen, because it will
Speaker 1: just happen. Like part of anxiety is really just feeling
Speaker 1: like you can change things and feeling like you can
Speaker 1: almost anxieties are motivated to do something about what you're
Speaker 1: scared about. But the thing that I want to do
Speaker 1: something about is not something necessarily in my control right,
Speaker 1: like some factors are, but it's the future. It's this
Speaker 1: like big cloud, big storm of factors and things in
Speaker 1: events and just complete curve balls that like we can't
Speaker 1: necessarily interpret or predict. So whilst I'm also facing that
Speaker 1: sense of like what does my fear future hold? Like
Speaker 1: what am I going to be doing in ten years?
Speaker 1: What should I be doing now to prepare for that
Speaker 1: future that I want, prepare for the life that I want,
Speaker 1: it also feels like time is equally running out to
Speaker 1: achieve some of the big things that I wanted to
Speaker 1: do by this age. I always think about the Silvia
Speaker 1: Plath fig tree analogy. So if you've heard of it before,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you're gonna hear it again. But I think
Speaker 1: it's one of the most beautiful things anybody has ever said.
Speaker 1: So hopefully that's not too much of a disappointment. But
Speaker 1: in her very famous book with the Belgia, I feel
Speaker 1: like every girl in their twenties has read this book
Speaker 1: or should read this book. She talks about this analogy,
Speaker 1: or this vision of herself sitting underneath a fig tree
Speaker 1: and above her is this brilliant, beautiful magnificent tree with
Speaker 1: sprawling branches, and it goes on for meters and meters,
Speaker 1: and at the end of every branch, every little tip
Speaker 1: is a fig. Is this big, rich fig And the
Speaker 1: figs represent our futures. They represent the future versions of
Speaker 1: us that we could have if we choose a certain path,
Speaker 1: and so like in her mind, one figure is like
Speaker 1: marriage and a family and children are being a stay
Speaker 1: at home mother. Another figure is being a professor at
Speaker 1: a big, famous university. Another one is being like a nomad,
Speaker 1: a traveler, and then another one is being becoming really
Speaker 1: fit in being an athlete, someone who runs Travelon's like,
Speaker 1: there are so many different futures that we can choose from,
Speaker 1: but every every year, every month, every week that we
Speaker 1: don't choose one of those futures, they die out. There
Speaker 1: are some things that unfortunately, like you can't like you
Speaker 1: have a like a prime time to do them. In
Speaker 1: a sense, I think about it a lot in terms
Speaker 1: of like sport, but also as we get older, like
Speaker 1: having children is a big one. Well, it's the reality
Speaker 1: of being a woman is that there is a natural
Speaker 1: time limit to your ability to be a mom or
Speaker 1: to be a parent. And she talks about how each
Speaker 1: year it feels like more and more of these figs
Speaker 1: are falling and there are less and less options available
Speaker 1: to her, but she just cannot choose. She cannot see
Speaker 1: from the outside of the fig which one is going
Speaker 1: to taste the best. She wants to taste them all,
Speaker 1: but she can only climb one branch at a time.
Speaker 1: And I think that's really really relevant here when we
Speaker 1: talk about our fear of growing older, and our fear
Speaker 1: of time passing, and our fear of birth taste, and
Speaker 1: more generally, is that they represent to us the figs
Speaker 1: dying off. They represent to us certain doors that we
Speaker 1: feel are closing with age. Now I have this battle
Speaker 1: in my brain because I don't necessarily think that that's true. Obviously,
Speaker 1: for some things it is like, I'm sorry, you're not
Speaker 1: going to be like an Olympic gymnast if you start
Speaker 1: at thirty. I'm sorry sorry to say that. Hopefully you
Speaker 1: already knew that. But in some senses, like it is true.
Speaker 1: But for very minor, minor choices, most things I don't
Speaker 1: think have an age limit on them. Most things are available.
Speaker 1: You have so much capacity for change, so much capacity
Speaker 1: and agency to get to a point where you're like,
Speaker 1: I actually don't like how this looks. I don't like
Speaker 1: how my life feels, how I feel in it, and
Speaker 1: in the timelines and the stories and the plot and
Speaker 1: the relationships that define my life. I'm gonna change. That
Speaker 1: is something that I think we lose sight of the
Speaker 1: older we get because we get more stuck in our ways.
Speaker 1: We get more comfortable with the reality that we've created,
Speaker 1: that we forget that if we are unhappy, we can
Speaker 1: actually do something about it, but we maintain that irrational
Speaker 1: sense of like feeling stuck in the lives we've created
Speaker 1: for ourselves. That is why each year we just feel
Speaker 1: more scared. And each year as the time passes, you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my God, like this so much to do because
Speaker 1: I've let myself feel uncomfortable in my life for too long.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe that is just an experience for me.
Speaker 1: Maybe you listening to that and you're like, what is
Speaker 1: she talking about? That makes absolutely no sense? Totally get it.
Speaker 1: That's fine, It doesn't have my feelings. It's just me
Speaker 1: rambling on about what I'm thinking about. But the final
Speaker 1: factor that I think really comes into play, especially when
Speaker 1: we talk about this from a more like psychological and
Speaker 1: social point of view, is that our society doesn't like
Speaker 1: old people. It just doesn't. It doesn't like signs of aging.
Speaker 1: It doesn't like the idea of getting old, of being elderly.
Speaker 1: If you think about it, there are so many ways
Speaker 1: in which we are taught that to be young and
Speaker 1: youthful is like the secret ingredient to being happy and
Speaker 1: being successful. The amount of ads I started getting when
Speaker 1: I turned twenty four, like, I'm not even that old,
Speaker 1: but when I turn twenty four, botox ads everywhere absolutely
Speaker 1: not for me at least, Like it was almost like
Speaker 1: these apps knew that this was like a turning point
Speaker 1: where people start thinking about how they're going to look
Speaker 1: when they're older and wanting to prevent some of the
Speaker 1: signs of aging that we find unattractive and unappealing, when
Speaker 1: really it's such a privilege and a beautiful thing to
Speaker 1: be able to grow older. So many people don't get
Speaker 1: other opportunity, but we really don't have such a positive
Speaker 1: culture around respecting the older members of our society. There's
Speaker 1: so many tropes about older people being lonely and older
Speaker 1: people being sad, and older people losing all their cognitive
Speaker 1: ability and their physical health is declining, and their mental
Speaker 1: health and their emotional health and their cognitive capacities are
Speaker 1: all going downhill. It's like, you reach this point in
Speaker 1: your fifties, and then after that point, you're suddenly an
Speaker 1: old person and society doesn't care about you anymore, not
Speaker 1: as much as it cares about young people. And so
Speaker 1: you have this like innate sense of prejudice towards a
Speaker 1: future version of yourself, towards the elderly version of yourself,
Speaker 1: because you realize how people in our society who are
Speaker 1: that age and who are older are treated. There is
Speaker 1: just so much stigma around it. And then alongside that,
Speaker 1: there's this fear of like what does old age bring
Speaker 1: in terms of my health? That's something that I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about a lot. Posted on Instagram the other day
Speaker 1: about this documentary I watched on Netflix, Life Changing, Amazing, wonderful.
Speaker 1: It was called You Are What You Eat, a twin experiment.
Speaker 1: I love anything that's a twin experiment because it's so
Speaker 1: like experimentally rigorous and like scientifically rigorous. Besides the point,
Speaker 1: this documentary basically looked at how different diets affect people's
Speaker 1: health outcomes, things like their what's it called, like they're
Speaker 1: by logical age and cardiovascular health, so many different things.
Speaker 1: And the reason I was so fascinated by it is
Speaker 1: because I think when I was in my early twenties
Speaker 1: and late teens, when I was at UNI, and then
Speaker 1: the first few years I lived in Sydney as well,
Speaker 1: I really treated my body like absolute crap. I was
Speaker 1: also in like a dietary sense, like I wasn't eating
Speaker 1: junk food all the time, but I certainly wasn't thinking
Speaker 1: about how much sleep I needed. I wasn't thinking about
Speaker 1: how much calcium I should be consuming. That it's probably
Speaker 1: good to stretch after going for a ten k roun
Speaker 1: so you don't get like long term muscle damage. Like
Speaker 1: we are so blessed in our twenties and when we're
Speaker 1: young to just like take our health for granted. And
Speaker 1: it's something that I'm starting to realize is like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am gonna get older and time isn't promised, and
Speaker 1: people do die from things in which they haven't taken
Speaker 1: care of their health. And in this doockumventory, they talk
Speaker 1: about a lot about how like a plant plant based
Speaker 1: ad why is that such a tongue twister. A plant
Speaker 1: based diet is so much better for you. And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I'm twenty four, now I better become
Speaker 1: a vegetarian. Like, I've got to do it. I've got
Speaker 1: to start taking my vitamins and my minerals. I've got
Speaker 1: to start, you know, really taking care of myself so
Speaker 1: that I can ensure I'm here for as long as possible.
Speaker 1: And something that really triggered it was actually going away
Speaker 1: with my parents and my sisters and my boyfriend to
Speaker 1: Japan over the summer slash winter. If you're up north, yeah,
Speaker 1: up north, was that I was just like, I really
Speaker 1: love these people and I want to be around them
Speaker 1: for as long as possible, and I don't want something
Speaker 1: to happen. I don't want to reach a point where
Speaker 1: I realized that I could have changed how my body
Speaker 1: aged and I could have changed how my body grew
Speaker 1: up so that it gave me more time with them
Speaker 1: and more years to be someone's sister, to be someone's mother,
Speaker 1: to be someone's wife, to be someone's friend. Once again,
Speaker 1: it's this very existential, dark understanding that like time on
Speaker 1: this planet, time alive is not promised, is finite and
Speaker 1: you kind of have to fight for it at some stage,
Speaker 1: Like as you get older, health complications are going to
Speaker 1: come up. And that's really scary to me as someone
Speaker 1: who has always firstly, always had health anxiety. If you've
Speaker 1: listened to our health anxiety episode, I don't think it's
Speaker 1: going to come as a surprise that I'm worrying about this,
Speaker 1: but always had health anxiety and always actually been in
Speaker 1: relatively good health, Like I've taken it for granted, and
Speaker 1: so it's just like this year, I've really been like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's time to take that seriously. It's time to really
Speaker 1: take my life seriously. I don't know. I'm hoping that
Speaker 1: someone out there can relate to this sense like getting
Speaker 1: older and getting frustrated by the fact that you don't
Speaker 1: have control over time, Scared of the things that you
Speaker 1: might be missing, Scared of the things that you might
Speaker 1: be forgetting to do, the opportunities that you're giving up,
Speaker 1: the lives that you said no to to live a
Speaker 1: different one. It's just like very much on my mind.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I keep reminding myself that twenty four really
Speaker 1: isn't that old. And I'm very lucky because I have
Speaker 1: a lot of friends who are older. A lot of
Speaker 1: friends who are like in their thirties, even in their forties.
Speaker 1: Like one of my best friends, Erica, is in her thirties,
Speaker 1: and I get along with her so well, and I
Speaker 1: love the kind of life that she leads, like all
Speaker 1: those myths that people have around, like your twenties being
Speaker 1: the best years of your life, and like you need
Speaker 1: to go traveling in your twenties, you need to like
Speaker 1: try as many different careers in your twenties, like don't
Speaker 1: settle down on your twenties. She has just like done
Speaker 1: everything to the opposite of that, and it looks frickin' amazing,
Speaker 1: like she's having so much fun and she has just
Speaker 1: like done the things that she knows are going to
Speaker 1: make her happy, even if they're a little bit hard
Speaker 1: in the moment. And I think it's those examples of
Speaker 1: people who make you not scared to be their age
Speaker 1: that are really like helpful in those times when you're
Speaker 1: like paralyzed by the fact that you are getting older
Speaker 1: and there is nothing that you can do about it.
Speaker 1: So hopefully if you're listening to this, you have like
Speaker 1: somewhat related I will say it. I want to end
Speaker 1: this episode and this ramble really by just saying twenty
Speaker 1: three was one of the best years of my life,
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited for twenty four. I'm excited for
Speaker 1: twenty five. I'm excited for the rest of my twenties
Speaker 1: and the different chapters contained in them. But honestly, I
Speaker 1: cannot think you guys enough, the listeners of this podcast
Speaker 1: from how amazing the last year was. There was just
Speaker 1: so many milestones, so many things to celebrate, so many
Speaker 1: new members of this community, and so much just love.
Speaker 1: I just sometimes when when I'm making this podcast, I'm
Speaker 1: alone in a room talking to myself, and I forget
Speaker 1: that there are other people listening to this right now,
Speaker 1: like on the other side who I don't know, but
Speaker 1: who listen to my voice and who really learn something
Speaker 1: from me or take something from these episodes. And it's
Speaker 1: so nice to hear that from you guys, and it
Speaker 1: really assures me that I'm doing something that has purpose
Speaker 1: and that is useful and that helps people. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if, even if everything else in my twenties
Speaker 1: goes to shit, at least I can say that, like
Speaker 1: I have the opportunity to do this, so I know
Speaker 1: this conversation has been quite pessimistic. I want to end
Speaker 1: from a place of gratitude and from a place of
Speaker 1: just like absolute acknowledgment of how privileged and happy and
Speaker 1: lucky and amazing my life is. And a lot of
Speaker 1: that is thanks to the support for this show. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that I'm one year further in my twentieth
Speaker 1: There's I'm sure so many more experiences left to talk about,
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited to learn from them. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to see what happens. If you've also had this
Speaker 1: feeling of like being scared of growing older, of aging,
Speaker 1: shoot me a message. I would like to hear from
Speaker 1: your experience what you kind of did to counteract that,
Speaker 1: or what you think some of the triggers were, Like
Speaker 1: why that was the case. There's so much other research
Speaker 1: on this that I didn't get to go through. So
Speaker 1: maybe next year we'll do a replay and I'll talk
Speaker 1: to you about being twenty five when I'm actually having
Speaker 1: a very serious called a life crisis. But until that
Speaker 1: time comes, I want to thank you for listening. If
Speaker 1: there's someone who you think would enjoy this episode, make
Speaker 1: sure you share it with them. Thank you. For all
Speaker 1: the love and support. If you have an episode, suggestion, feedback, questions,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, feel free to message me over on
Speaker 1: Instagram at that Psychology Podcast. I'm another year older and
Speaker 1: feeling very lucky. Thank you for following me on this journey.
Speaker 1: We will be back next week with another episode.