1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever 6 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode as we as 8 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: always break down the psychology of our twenties. Today we're 9 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: going to have a bit more of a chit chat. 10 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: She'll sit down and discuss episode, more of a casual episode, 11 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: more of a personal episode today. I like to do 12 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: these every now and again. This podcast is kind of 13 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: also a bit of a diary and a journal for 14 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: me through my twenties. As much as I love the 15 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: research and I love of thinking about all the science, 16 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: I also like to be able to look back on 17 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: the episodes that I've done in the past and kind 18 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: of see where I was at in that moment, and 19 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: this episode is one of those. It's kind of a 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: nice time I think to do a little check in. 21 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: The reason being is because I just turned twenty four. 22 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: I am sure there are a lot of people listening 23 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: to this, who are like, oh my gosh, you are 24 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: such a baby. Twenty four years old. What are you 25 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 1: talking about? That is so young? But in my eyes, 26 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: obviously it's the oldest I've ever been, duh. But it's 27 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: also really interesting because I view birthdays with such fear 28 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 1: and just such anxiety, and I think that that is 29 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: a very common experience, this fear of getting older, this 30 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: fear of having additional responsibilities, of realizing that time is 31 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: finite and that you're kind of churning through the amount 32 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: of years that you might have available on this earth. 33 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: I know it's sounds very existential because it is. And 34 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: I remember being maybe like sixteen. I have this very 35 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: distinct memory of being around that age and thinking, oh 36 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: my gosh, twenty four that is so old. That is 37 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: so old. People at that age must have everything together, 38 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: like I'm going to have a house at that age, 39 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have children, I'm gonna have my little pet 40 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: dog or whatever it was. And here I am at 41 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: that age now looking back at the vision that my 42 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: younger self had, and I'm just in a completely different 43 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: place than I thought I would be. And I don't 44 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: know if it's just me but I always find that 45 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: birthdays are such a point of like reflection but also anxiety, 46 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: because it really puts into perspective really how finite we have, 47 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: much finite time we actually have on the earth, and 48 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: how much there is to do, how much there is 49 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 1: to achieve, how much love there is to give, and 50 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: the ways in which we might be wasting that time 51 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: or not taking complete advantage of that. So, yes, that 52 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: is a long ramble, but it was my birthday. It 53 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: was amazing. I had a great time. My boyfriend took 54 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: me out for dinner, and then I went out to 55 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: dinner with a bunch of my friends. And it's really 56 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: nice to be around friends who have known you for 57 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: a while and also new friends. You know, people that 58 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: I've known since high school and since literally my first 59 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,679 Speaker 1: day of union, then people I only met last year, 60 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: and my partner, and it's just a very beautiful experience. 61 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: I always try to make a big deal out of 62 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: my birthday. If you know me personally, you're probably laughing 63 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: at that statement because you know how true that is. 64 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: For my twenty first birthday, I think I tried to 65 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: like distract myself from my fear of aging by just 66 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: going all out I had. It was literally the Festival 67 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: of Gemma. I had three birthday parties. It was a 68 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: bit overkill, but I think in my mind, I was like, 69 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: if I can make this exciting, maybe I can suppress 70 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: some of the anxiety I have around my finite existence 71 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: on this planet and around the fact that I am 72 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: getting older and I may not have achieved everything that 73 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 1: I wanted to at this age. It's also inevitable that 74 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: on every birthday I have, I always end up crying. 75 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: This year, I am proud to say I cried from 76 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 1: a happy place, from a positive place. I felt so loved, 77 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: so surrounded by good people. I think this is also 78 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: one of the first times in my life that I've 79 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: just felt true peace, peace with who I am peace with, 80 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 1: where I'm at peace with the people around me once again. 81 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: Birthdays are such a point of reflection, and I think 82 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: back to where I was last year and the year 83 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,559 Speaker 1: before when I first moved to Sydney and I didn't 84 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: have any friends, and the year before that when I 85 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: was celebrating my first birthday after being through like a 86 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: horrific breakup and not having this person that I'd been 87 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: around for two year years and every point. Every year 88 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: is just kind of a further opportunity to really see 89 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: how far I've come, but then also how much is 90 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: left in the future. So let's talk about this fear 91 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:18,840 Speaker 1: of aging. If you can relate, I'm sure there are 92 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:23,160 Speaker 1: many of you. Why does it feel so oppressive and 93 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 1: scary sometimes to acknowledge that we're getting older? For me, 94 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: I think it's that birthdays symbolize being closer to death, 95 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: and it is very innate and natural as a human, 96 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: as a mammal, as a species to fear death, to 97 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 1: fear what that brings the unknown. Of course, there are 98 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: many people who have different conceptions and different ideas of 99 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: what comes afterwards. For me, I don't think I really 100 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: have one, and so thinking about how each year represents 101 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: less time to be alive, it also represents less time 102 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: before the unknown, and that's seriously what I'm probably most 103 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: scared of. It's not that I'm scared of the added responsibility. 104 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: I think it's not that I'm scared of growing up 105 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,359 Speaker 1: in the sense of giving up the younger versions of myself. 106 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,799 Speaker 1: There's a whole syndrome around that called Peter Pan syndrome, 107 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: which basically talks about people who are like fight against 108 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: growing older because they're scared of what it means to 109 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:26,280 Speaker 1: be an adult. Specifically, they're scared of losing joy and 110 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: wonder and a lack of responsibility and a lack of accountability. 111 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: That's a whole different episode, a whole different conversation. I 112 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: don't think I necessarily have that. I think I recognize 113 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: how much of a privilege it is to get older, 114 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: and what a privilege it is to age. And I've 115 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: always said that. I think about all my friends who 116 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: are in their thirties, and they genuinely just get their 117 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: lives just seem to get better. They get hotter, they 118 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: get more successful, they have more money, they have more fun, 119 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: they have more freedom. It seems to me they really 120 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: know themselves more. So I'm excited for that. I'm excited 121 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: for my thirties. I'm excited for my forties and my fifties. 122 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: My mom seems like she's having an amazing time. Those 123 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: new chapters are thrilling to me. And I think that 124 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: there used to be such a sense of like, your 125 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: twenties are the best years of your life. When those 126 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: are done, what everything else is a wasteland, Like there's 127 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 1: nothing left afterwards. That is a massive misconception. Obviously, I've 128 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: I talk about our twenties twice a week, all the time, 129 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: everywhere I go, But I really don't think that your 130 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: life ends the moment you turn thirty. There is a 131 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: recognition that there is a lot of beauty and grace 132 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: and excitement in aging, But it's that catch twenty two 133 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: of realizing that the more you grow into yourself, the 134 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 1: more versions you have to say goodbye to, and the 135 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: less time you have in front of you. I think 136 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: it's that mortality alarm, that inbuilt mortality alarm that we 137 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: all have, that we all that we have as mamma, 138 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: as a species that realizes how fragile life is, that 139 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: starts to really sound off and blare every birthday because 140 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: it's a significant kind of triggering event or like anniversary 141 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: of acknowledgment of birth and death and how they're very 142 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: like interlinked. I know that sounds very deeply philosophical, but 143 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: I have honestly thought about this so much. I also 144 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: think that another factor around this fear of aging thing 145 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: is that birthdays make us very conscious of time passing. 146 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: When I was a kid, even a teenager, that used 147 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: to really really scare me because it felt like something 148 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: I could not control. Time, this like weird entity that 149 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: none of us can really visualize. It was just slipping 150 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: away from me and I wasn't able to do anything 151 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: about it. And I would sit and I would spial 152 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: and I would think about it. And I remember distinctly 153 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 1: watching this bird at my window when I was in university, fluttering, 154 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,559 Speaker 1: and every time it flooded from one side to the other, 155 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: I was like, that's a second gone. That's another second gone. 156 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: That's a second gone. Like time is just rolling on 157 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: and on and on, and it feels like this freight 158 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: train that's just going to destroy everything in its path, 159 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: and eventually it's going to destroy me. There's a lot 160 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: of fear there. There's a lot of fear there, I 161 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: think from when I was a child and not feeling 162 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: in control. That still feels really relevant now. And it 163 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: is very claustrophobic in a sense to not feel like 164 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,439 Speaker 1: there is this big thing in your life that dictates 165 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: so much about your future, so much about what you 166 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: can achieve that you have no control over. Time is 167 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: just existing and you just operate within it. If you 168 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: get to kind of meta about it, it does get 169 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: genuinely quite scary. It's also the sense of, like, every 170 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: year I feel further and further detached from them memories 171 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: and the periods in my life that I really cherish, 172 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: specifically that feeling of being a child, and also the 173 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: feeling of being a teenager and in my early twenties 174 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: when I felt so chaotic and unbridled and free, and 175 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: just how absolutely amazing that was, even if at the 176 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: time it probably didn't feel that great. It's this idea 177 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 1: of like the rose tinted lenses, right, like, we tend 178 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 1: to look back at our memories more fondly than they 179 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: actually were on the moment. Because I know as a child, 180 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: I really wanted to get older. I couldn't wait to 181 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: have responsibility and freedom. I know that I was going 182 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 1: through a lot of hard things. I was being bullied. 183 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: I know that when I was in my late teens 184 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,839 Speaker 1: early twenties, I was heartbroken and unsure of who I was. 185 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: But there is something about that time that I miss 186 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: that I really miss, and it is really overwhelming to 187 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: realize that you're probably, you're not probably you're never going 188 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: to get that back, You're never going to be a 189 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: kid again. That time is past, that chapter is closed, 190 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: and it brings on a massive nostalgia wave for me 191 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 1: around this time. I don't know if you guys can 192 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: relate every time, like I know that we've said birthdays 193 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: are a time of reflection that's pretty obvious, but it's 194 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: also a really deep time of nostalgia for me, thinking 195 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: about all the things that I did as a child 196 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: and how joyous and free I was, and whether I've 197 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: given those things up. The older I get, whether this 198 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: younger version of me would be happy with where I am. 199 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: If it's not obvious, I'm very much stuck in like 200 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: the romantic parts of the past rather than the reality 201 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: of it. So that is like a massive component for 202 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 1: me feeling like I feel less attached to previous versions 203 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: of me and recognizing that I can't go back, but 204 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: then also recognizing that, like what I'm doing right now, 205 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: like these years of my life are also going to 206 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: be my golden years, and I really need to take 207 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: advantage of them, because in five years time, I'm going 208 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: to be looking at what I'm doing right now and 209 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: feeling the same way that I felt about my twenty 210 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: year old self, nineteen year old self, whatever she was doing. 211 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: She was a mess, but she was also having a 212 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: great time. And like, sometimes I think that I've kind 213 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: of grown up too quickly in a sense, and that 214 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: I've forced myself into becoming like a real adult too soon. 215 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: And I think that's because for many years of my life, 216 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: like it was always like how I'm very mature for 217 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 1: my age, and people being like, we're very wise, wise 218 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: beyond your years, and I take that as like a 219 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 1: massive compliment, Like I really appreciate when people say that, 220 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: but I'm like, yeah, but some of my friends are 221 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 1: still doing things that just seem so fun, Like they're 222 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: still learning those lessons through mistakes that I feel like 223 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: I haven't gotten to make, or they're still going out 224 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 1: and partying and just like geting being obliterated, and like 225 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 1: I'm not really down for that anymore. But when I 226 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: turn thirty five, am I gonna be like, geez, it's 227 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: been ten years since I last like went clubbing, Like gosh, 228 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: I'm such a granny and I'm like not even halfway 229 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: through life yet. It's this constantly contemplation of like the 230 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: what ifs, and wanting to avoid regret in every sense 231 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: of the word regret in my friendship's regret in my career, 232 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: regret in my life experiences, because every year I'm more 233 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: conscious that you don't get that time back. So it 234 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: feels so much more valuable to me, so much more precious, 235 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: something to be coveted, something to really really ensure you 236 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: take advantage of. I think we did speak about this before, 237 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 1: but it is I think what drives our fear of 238 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 1: aging is the fear of the unknown, not just in 239 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: terms of death, because fear of death, I think, is 240 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: a complete different subject. I think everyone in some sense 241 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: has a fear of death and what comes afterwards, but 242 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: the fear of the unknow more so in terms of 243 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: the fear of the future. I have built my like 244 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: entire career at this stage of my life off of 245 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: being twenty or in my twenties. Like this podcast is 246 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: called the Psychology of your twenties, and people always ask me, oh, like, 247 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: so when you turn thirty, you're gonna do the Psychology 248 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: of your thirties, And I'm like, I don't fucking know. 249 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Like I'm so, I'm just trying to 250 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 1: get through this, Like should I do that? Will I 251 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 1: be like ready for something different? By them? Like is 252 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: it any different? People always message me in or like, 253 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: I'm not in my twenties anymore, but this is like 254 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: still the exact same kind of stuff that I'm going through. 255 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: But yeah, really it puts into perspective that, like, I 256 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: realistically only have like six more years to take advantage 257 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: of these experiences before I turn thirty, And is my 258 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 1: whole life going to be like the girl who talks 259 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: about her twenties even when she's not in them. I 260 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: don't know whether that's what I want, But I also 261 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: know that I'm just borrowing fear from the future, right, 262 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: Like I always think about this. When we worry about 263 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: the future, we're just borrowing anxiety from that chapter in 264 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: our life that we're still going to fear feel. Then 265 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: you're just feeling that same like pattern of fear and 266 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: those same emotions twice, Like you don't need to worry 267 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: as much about what's going to happen, because it will 268 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 1: just happen. Like part of anxiety is really just feeling 269 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: like you can change things and feeling like you can 270 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: almost anxieties are motivated to do something about what you're 271 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: scared about. But the thing that I want to do 272 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: something about is not something necessarily in my control right, 273 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 1: like some factors are, but it's the future. It's this 274 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 1: like big cloud, big storm of factors and things in 275 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: events and just complete curve balls that like we can't 276 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: necessarily interpret or predict. So whilst I'm also facing that 277 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: sense of like what does my fear future hold? Like 278 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: what am I going to be doing in ten years? 279 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: What should I be doing now to prepare for that 280 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: future that I want, prepare for the life that I want, 281 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: it also feels like time is equally running out to 282 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: achieve some of the big things that I wanted to 283 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 1: do by this age. I always think about the Silvia 284 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: Plath fig tree analogy. So if you've heard of it before, 285 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: I'm sorry you're gonna hear it again. But I think 286 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: it's one of the most beautiful things anybody has ever said. 287 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 1: So hopefully that's not too much of a disappointment. But 288 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: in her very famous book with the Belgia, I feel 289 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: like every girl in their twenties has read this book 290 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: or should read this book. She talks about this analogy, 291 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: or this vision of herself sitting underneath a fig tree 292 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: and above her is this brilliant, beautiful magnificent tree with 293 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: sprawling branches, and it goes on for meters and meters, 294 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: and at the end of every branch, every little tip 295 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: is a fig. Is this big, rich fig And the 296 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,919 Speaker 1: figs represent our futures. They represent the future versions of 297 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,200 Speaker 1: us that we could have if we choose a certain path, 298 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 1: and so like in her mind, one figure is like 299 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: marriage and a family and children are being a stay 300 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 1: at home mother. Another figure is being a professor at 301 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: a big, famous university. Another one is being like a nomad, 302 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:33,160 Speaker 1: a traveler, and then another one is being becoming really 303 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,399 Speaker 1: fit in being an athlete, someone who runs Travelon's like, 304 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 1: there are so many different futures that we can choose from, 305 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: but every every year, every month, every week that we 306 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 1: don't choose one of those futures, they die out. There 307 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: are some things that unfortunately, like you can't like you 308 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: have a like a prime time to do them. In 309 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 1: a sense, I think about it a lot in terms 310 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: of like sport, but also as we get older, like 311 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 1: having children is a big one. Well, it's the reality 312 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 1: of being a woman is that there is a natural 313 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 1: time limit to your ability to be a mom or 314 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: to be a parent. And she talks about how each 315 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: year it feels like more and more of these figs 316 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 1: are falling and there are less and less options available 317 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: to her, but she just cannot choose. She cannot see 318 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 1: from the outside of the fig which one is going 319 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 1: to taste the best. She wants to taste them all, 320 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 1: but she can only climb one branch at a time. 321 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 1: And I think that's really really relevant here when we 322 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,399 Speaker 1: talk about our fear of growing older, and our fear 323 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: of time passing, and our fear of birth taste, and 324 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 1: more generally, is that they represent to us the figs 325 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 1: dying off. They represent to us certain doors that we 326 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: feel are closing with age. Now I have this battle 327 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 1: in my brain because I don't necessarily think that that's true. Obviously, 328 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: for some things it is like, I'm sorry, you're not 329 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: going to be like an Olympic gymnast if you start 330 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,119 Speaker 1: at thirty. I'm sorry sorry to say that. Hopefully you 331 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: already knew that. But in some senses, like it is true. 332 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: But for very minor, minor choices, most things I don't 333 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: think have an age limit on them. Most things are available. 334 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: You have so much capacity for change, so much capacity 335 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 1: and agency to get to a point where you're like, 336 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: I actually don't like how this looks. I don't like 337 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: how my life feels, how I feel in it, and 338 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 1: in the timelines and the stories and the plot and 339 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: the relationships that define my life. I'm gonna change. That 340 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,159 Speaker 1: is something that I think we lose sight of the 341 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: older we get because we get more stuck in our ways. 342 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: We get more comfortable with the reality that we've created, 343 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: that we forget that if we are unhappy, we can 344 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,719 Speaker 1: actually do something about it, but we maintain that irrational 345 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 1: sense of like feeling stuck in the lives we've created 346 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 1: for ourselves. That is why each year we just feel 347 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,119 Speaker 1: more scared. And each year as the time passes, you're like, 348 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,440 Speaker 1: oh my God, like this so much to do because 349 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:05,879 Speaker 1: I've let myself feel uncomfortable in my life for too long. 350 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe that is just an experience for me. 351 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: Maybe you listening to that and you're like, what is 352 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: she talking about? That makes absolutely no sense? Totally get it. 353 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: That's fine, It doesn't have my feelings. It's just me 354 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: rambling on about what I'm thinking about. But the final 355 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:25,680 Speaker 1: factor that I think really comes into play, especially when 356 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: we talk about this from a more like psychological and 357 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 1: social point of view, is that our society doesn't like 358 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: old people. It just doesn't. It doesn't like signs of aging. 359 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,640 Speaker 1: It doesn't like the idea of getting old, of being elderly. 360 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,719 Speaker 1: If you think about it, there are so many ways 361 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,679 Speaker 1: in which we are taught that to be young and 362 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: youthful is like the secret ingredient to being happy and 363 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: being successful. The amount of ads I started getting when 364 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 1: I turned twenty four, like, I'm not even that old, 365 00:20:55,200 --> 00:21:01,400 Speaker 1: but when I turn twenty four, botox ads everywhere absolutely 366 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: not for me at least, Like it was almost like 367 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: these apps knew that this was like a turning point 368 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: where people start thinking about how they're going to look 369 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: when they're older and wanting to prevent some of the 370 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: signs of aging that we find unattractive and unappealing, when 371 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 1: really it's such a privilege and a beautiful thing to 372 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 1: be able to grow older. So many people don't get 373 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 1: other opportunity, but we really don't have such a positive 374 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: culture around respecting the older members of our society. There's 375 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 1: so many tropes about older people being lonely and older 376 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: people being sad, and older people losing all their cognitive 377 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: ability and their physical health is declining, and their mental 378 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,719 Speaker 1: health and their emotional health and their cognitive capacities are 379 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 1: all going downhill. It's like, you reach this point in 380 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: your fifties, and then after that point, you're suddenly an 381 00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,119 Speaker 1: old person and society doesn't care about you anymore, not 382 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 1: as much as it cares about young people. And so 383 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: you have this like innate sense of prejudice towards a 384 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: future version of yourself, towards the elderly version of yourself, 385 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,040 Speaker 1: because you realize how people in our society who are 386 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,199 Speaker 1: that age and who are older are treated. There is 387 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,880 Speaker 1: just so much stigma around it. And then alongside that, 388 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: there's this fear of like what does old age bring 389 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: in terms of my health? That's something that I've been 390 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: thinking about a lot. Posted on Instagram the other day 391 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: about this documentary I watched on Netflix, Life Changing, Amazing, wonderful. 392 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 1: It was called You Are What You Eat, a twin experiment. 393 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,639 Speaker 1: I love anything that's a twin experiment because it's so 394 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 1: like experimentally rigorous and like scientifically rigorous. Besides the point, 395 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: this documentary basically looked at how different diets affect people's 396 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: health outcomes, things like their what's it called, like they're 397 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:05,719 Speaker 1: by logical age and cardiovascular health, so many different things. 398 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: And the reason I was so fascinated by it is 399 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 1: because I think when I was in my early twenties 400 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,399 Speaker 1: and late teens, when I was at UNI, and then 401 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,920 Speaker 1: the first few years I lived in Sydney as well, 402 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,919 Speaker 1: I really treated my body like absolute crap. I was 403 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,680 Speaker 1: also in like a dietary sense, like I wasn't eating 404 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 1: junk food all the time, but I certainly wasn't thinking 405 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 1: about how much sleep I needed. I wasn't thinking about 406 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 1: how much calcium I should be consuming. That it's probably 407 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: good to stretch after going for a ten k roun 408 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,919 Speaker 1: so you don't get like long term muscle damage. Like 409 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 1: we are so blessed in our twenties and when we're 410 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,360 Speaker 1: young to just like take our health for granted. And 411 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: it's something that I'm starting to realize is like, Okay, yeah, 412 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 1: I am gonna get older and time isn't promised, and 413 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: people do die from things in which they haven't taken 414 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: care of their health. And in this doockumventory, they talk 415 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: about a lot about how like a plant plant based 416 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,920 Speaker 1: ad why is that such a tongue twister. A plant 417 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: based diet is so much better for you. And I 418 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 1: was like, okay, I'm twenty four, now I better become 419 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: a vegetarian. Like, I've got to do it. I've got 420 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: to start taking my vitamins and my minerals. I've got 421 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: to start, you know, really taking care of myself so 422 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: that I can ensure I'm here for as long as possible. 423 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 1: And something that really triggered it was actually going away 424 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 1: with my parents and my sisters and my boyfriend to 425 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: Japan over the summer slash winter. If you're up north, yeah, 426 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:42,320 Speaker 1: up north, was that I was just like, I really 427 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: love these people and I want to be around them 428 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,719 Speaker 1: for as long as possible, and I don't want something 429 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 1: to happen. I don't want to reach a point where 430 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,919 Speaker 1: I realized that I could have changed how my body 431 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 1: aged and I could have changed how my body grew 432 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: up so that it gave me more time with them 433 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: and more years to be someone's sister, to be someone's mother, 434 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: to be someone's wife, to be someone's friend. Once again, 435 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: it's this very existential, dark understanding that like time on 436 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: this planet, time alive is not promised, is finite and 437 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: you kind of have to fight for it at some stage, 438 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,440 Speaker 1: Like as you get older, health complications are going to 439 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 1: come up. And that's really scary to me as someone 440 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: who has always firstly, always had health anxiety. If you've 441 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 1: listened to our health anxiety episode, I don't think it's 442 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: going to come as a surprise that I'm worrying about this, 443 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,199 Speaker 1: but always had health anxiety and always actually been in 444 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 1: relatively good health, Like I've taken it for granted, and 445 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: so it's just like this year, I've really been like, oh, 446 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,880 Speaker 1: it's time to take that seriously. It's time to really 447 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: take my life seriously. I don't know. I'm hoping that 448 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: someone out there can relate to this sense like getting 449 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 1: older and getting frustrated by the fact that you don't 450 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: have control over time, Scared of the things that you 451 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 1: might be missing, Scared of the things that you might 452 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,760 Speaker 1: be forgetting to do, the opportunities that you're giving up, 453 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: the lives that you said no to to live a 454 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: different one. It's just like very much on my mind. 455 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: And yeah, I keep reminding myself that twenty four really 456 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,199 Speaker 1: isn't that old. And I'm very lucky because I have 457 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: a lot of friends who are older. A lot of 458 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: friends who are like in their thirties, even in their forties. 459 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: Like one of my best friends, Erica, is in her thirties, 460 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:41,399 Speaker 1: and I get along with her so well, and I 461 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,720 Speaker 1: love the kind of life that she leads, like all 462 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 1: those myths that people have around, like your twenties being 463 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 1: the best years of your life, and like you need 464 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: to go traveling in your twenties, you need to like 465 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,400 Speaker 1: try as many different careers in your twenties, like don't 466 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: settle down on your twenties. She has just like done 467 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 1: everything to the opposite of that, and it looks frickin' amazing, 468 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,399 Speaker 1: like she's having so much fun and she has just 469 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 1: like done the things that she knows are going to 470 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,119 Speaker 1: make her happy, even if they're a little bit hard 471 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 1: in the moment. And I think it's those examples of 472 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 1: people who make you not scared to be their age 473 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,720 Speaker 1: that are really like helpful in those times when you're 474 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,879 Speaker 1: like paralyzed by the fact that you are getting older 475 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,920 Speaker 1: and there is nothing that you can do about it. 476 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: So hopefully if you're listening to this, you have like 477 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 1: somewhat related I will say it. I want to end 478 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: this episode and this ramble really by just saying twenty 479 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,200 Speaker 1: three was one of the best years of my life, 480 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 1: and I'm so excited for twenty four. I'm excited for 481 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: twenty five. I'm excited for the rest of my twenties 482 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 1: and the different chapters contained in them. But honestly, I 483 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 1: cannot think you guys enough, the listeners of this podcast 484 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 1: from how amazing the last year was. There was just 485 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: so many milestones, so many things to celebrate, so many 486 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 1: new members of this community, and so much just love. 487 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: I just sometimes when when I'm making this podcast, I'm 488 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 1: alone in a room talking to myself, and I forget 489 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,119 Speaker 1: that there are other people listening to this right now, 490 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: like on the other side who I don't know, but 491 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 1: who listen to my voice and who really learn something 492 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,360 Speaker 1: from me or take something from these episodes. And it's 493 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 1: so nice to hear that from you guys, and it 494 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,920 Speaker 1: really assures me that I'm doing something that has purpose 495 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: and that is useful and that helps people. And I 496 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 1: don't know if, even if everything else in my twenties 497 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: goes to shit, at least I can say that, like 498 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 1: I have the opportunity to do this, so I know 499 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 1: this conversation has been quite pessimistic. I want to end 500 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: from a place of gratitude and from a place of 501 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 1: just like absolute acknowledgment of how privileged and happy and 502 00:28:56,040 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: lucky and amazing my life is. And a lot of 503 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: that is thanks to the support for this show. I'm 504 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: so glad that I'm one year further in my twentieth 505 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 1: There's I'm sure so many more experiences left to talk about, 506 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: and I'm so excited to learn from them. I'm so 507 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,000 Speaker 1: excited to see what happens. If you've also had this 508 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: feeling of like being scared of growing older, of aging, 509 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: shoot me a message. I would like to hear from 510 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 1: your experience what you kind of did to counteract that, 511 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 1: or what you think some of the triggers were, Like 512 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 1: why that was the case. There's so much other research 513 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: on this that I didn't get to go through. So 514 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 1: maybe next year we'll do a replay and I'll talk 515 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: to you about being twenty five when I'm actually having 516 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: a very serious called a life crisis. But until that 517 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: time comes, I want to thank you for listening. If 518 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,040 Speaker 1: there's someone who you think would enjoy this episode, make 519 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: sure you share it with them. Thank you. For all 520 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: the love and support. If you have an episode, suggestion, feedback, questions, 521 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 1: whatever it is, feel free to message me over on 522 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: Instagram at that Psychology Podcast. I'm another year older and 523 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 1: feeling very lucky. Thank you for following me on this journey. 524 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: We will be back next week with another episode.