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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: This week's Adult Education, I've got Elizabeth April coming on.

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Speaker 2: She's got a book that is all about anxiety. It's

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Speaker 2: called Your Anxiety Is Giving Me Anxiety? And I cannot

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Speaker 2: wait to just dive in and chat all things anxiety.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming on the show. I

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Speaker 2: love talking about anxiety, and I feel like every time

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Speaker 2: I post something about how I've helped my anxiety or

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Speaker 2: how I've walked through different seasons, so many people want

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Speaker 2: to follow up with the conversation because it's also something

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Speaker 2: they're dealing with. And I think that's why I like

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Speaker 2: talking about it, because you know, I have the tips

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Speaker 2: and tools that have helped me walk through my seasons

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Speaker 2: of it. And they've been wildly different seasons, but they've

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Speaker 2: they've all. It's been there, and so I always love

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Speaker 2: to learn more about other people that I've dealt with it,

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Speaker 2: how they got through it. So this is gonna be fun.

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Speaker 2: Wherever thought talking about anxiety would be fun, but right

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Speaker 2: I love it me too. Okay, So for you, when

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Speaker 2: did when did your anxiety start?

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Speaker 3: I was I was a kid, so probably around you know,

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Speaker 3: five or six years old is when I first sort

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Speaker 3: of consciously recognized that something wasn't quite right. I didn't

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Speaker 3: have the word anxiety. Neither did my parents. It wasn't

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Speaker 3: a conversation in the nineties, but it was so evidently there.

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Speaker 2: So I actually I have a question about that because

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Speaker 2: my daughter, she's about to be ten, and you know

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Speaker 2: that song my Anxiety, like it has anxiety in the word.

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Speaker 2: And my husband goes, is this a good thing? And

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Speaker 2: I go, I actually don't know, because it's I love

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Speaker 2: that we're talking about it. I think it's important to

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Speaker 2: talk about mental health. Having said that, with my daughter

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Speaker 2: being like my anxiety and then like singing it, and

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Speaker 2: then when we were doing our vision boards the other day,

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Speaker 2: she puts something else to like something along the lines

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Speaker 2: of like stress less or something, or it was a

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Speaker 2: little bit it was a little bit more than that,

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Speaker 2: and we're like, do you even know what that means?

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Speaker 2: And it's almost like, I don't want to say it's

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Speaker 2: cool by any means, but sometimes do you think it's

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Speaker 2: in that age range where it's a little bit too

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Speaker 2: much that we're talking about it, because it then becomes cool.

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Speaker 3: Right, yeah, like trending, right, yeah, is it trending? So actually,

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Speaker 3: in my book, I cover you know, the individuals that

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Speaker 3: anxiety loves to pick on. Right now, of course, there's

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Speaker 3: no there's no shape, there's no culture, there's no language,

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Speaker 3: there's no age. You know, anxiety hits everyone. But the

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Speaker 3: three sort of groups that I pinpoint in my book

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Speaker 3: as kind of hitting them the worst are m pass

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Speaker 3: and we can talk about that, survivors, we can talk

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Speaker 3: about that too. And then the third group is children.

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Speaker 3: You know, And so anxiety rates, especially in youth are

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Speaker 3: skyrocketing and no one seems to fully understand why. And

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Speaker 3: this is a huge conversation. So is it trending? Yeah? Absolutely,

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Speaker 3: But it's actually trending for a reason. And essentially what

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Speaker 3: I go into in the book is that children are

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Speaker 3: they're learning so much, right, They are developing emotionally, they

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Speaker 3: are developing their identity, they are developing cognitively, they are

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Speaker 3: developing reasoning skills, language, mathematics, I mean all the things, right.

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Speaker 3: So on top of that, imagine all of the energetic

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Speaker 3: interactions as well that they're also developing and they're also feeling,

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Speaker 3: but no one's actually talking about. So a big part

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Speaker 3: of what anxiety is is external stimulation, right, I talk

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Speaker 3: about the inputs versus the outputs in our life and

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Speaker 3: now with a computer in our hand and endless realms

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Speaker 3: of distraction and entertainment and news and all of the

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Speaker 3: inputs that we have, life is overwhelming. There is never

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Speaker 3: a moment to ourselves. There is never a moment where

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Speaker 3: we are bored or free of stimulation. And so for children,

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Speaker 3: especially on top of all of their growth and their learning,

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Speaker 3: they have endless amounts of stimulation which is going to

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Speaker 3: end up in a feeling of overwhelm. And we can

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Speaker 3: pinpoint that feeling of overwhelm as anxiety, you know. So

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Speaker 3: I don't necessarily believe that anxiety is a diagnosis that

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Speaker 3: needs to be treated by medication, and I also do

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Speaker 3: believe at the same time that there are very extreme

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Speaker 3: cases and specific examples where medication is needed as more

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Speaker 3: of a bridge or a stepping stone rather than the

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Speaker 3: end solution. I come from the Eastern meets Western sort

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Speaker 3: of mindset. I think both are needed, but we cannot

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Speaker 3: just simply chalk anxiety up to a psychological condition. I

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Speaker 3: believe that it's also energetic, and who feels energy the

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Speaker 3: most in society it's going to be children, and so

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Speaker 3: decreasing stimulation in their life is the number one thing

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Speaker 3: that we can do as parents to help them process

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Speaker 3: all of the growth points that they're going through right now,

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Speaker 3: rather than just constantly feeling overwhelmed and having all of

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Speaker 3: those alarm bells going off in their system.

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Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, no, I get that.

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Speaker 2: And I think you know somebody else that I respect

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Speaker 2: a lot as doctor Amen, and he's he's an amazing

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Speaker 2: you know, brain doctor, psychologist, but he basically I don't

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Speaker 2: know if you know his work at all, but he basically,

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Speaker 2: you know, his first step isn't prescribing. It's you know,

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Speaker 2: looking at the brain. It's looking at other things. There's

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Speaker 2: other methods because you know, just giving someone someone walks

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Speaker 2: into the office being like I'm having anxiety. Okay here

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Speaker 2: they're going to throw this at you. And that's you know,

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Speaker 2: I from my kind of path, I didn't go I

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Speaker 2: didn't go straight to medicine. It was my last result,

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Speaker 2: like my last ditch effort, because it was I was

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Speaker 2: to the point where I couldn't you know, I couldn't work,

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Speaker 2: I couldn't drive, I couldn't sit in a restaurant without

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Speaker 2: having an anxiety attack, and I was like, this is

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Speaker 2: actually taking over my life and I'm now losing jobs.

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Speaker 2: I'm you know, and it came from my abusive relationship.

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Speaker 2: But and I went through all things. I even I

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Speaker 2: remember going to this therapist where he had me on

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Speaker 2: his couch and we would go through like I would

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Speaker 2: have the anxiety attack. I would go through it, I'd

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Speaker 2: feel it, but I still could not get rid of it.

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Speaker 2: And so I started Zoloft at twenty one, and I

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Speaker 2: hated it like it was the worst. I gained about

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Speaker 2: thirty something pounds. I had just no emotion whatsoever. So

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Speaker 2: then I switched Alexipro and I was on that for

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Speaker 2: I mean years, years and years and years, where I would,

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Speaker 2: you know, start to kind of go down in the

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Speaker 2: dosage because you really do, like you learn that anxiety

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Speaker 2: is about the fear of the unknown, at least from me.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what happens if I get in the car

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Speaker 2: and then I get trapped in traffic And then I

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Speaker 2: had that trapped feeling, and oh my god, it when

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Speaker 2: I feel trapped, this is what happens to my body

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Speaker 2: and then I'm going to pass out. And sometimes I

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Speaker 2: would pass out, and so then that fear was like, well,

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Speaker 2: then I'm going to cause a crash or like I'm

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Speaker 2: you know, and so it just it just unravels. But

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Speaker 2: then when you start to find different techniques and go, okay,

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Speaker 2: you know, I can actually get through it. I don't

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Speaker 2: have to call the ambulance. I don't have to call

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Speaker 2: my best friend to come rescue me. And then when

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Speaker 2: I got divorced, I remember going to the doctor going,

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Speaker 2: I don't really think I have anxiety anymore. And so

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Speaker 2: when we started weaning off, it was like, okay, and

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Speaker 2: every so often I'll get anxiety, but once I did

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Speaker 2: my gut cleanse, and like that cleared so much out

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Speaker 2: for me. I felt like a different human after I

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Speaker 2: did the gut cleanse. So, you know, but with all

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Speaker 2: the things, sometimes I do have to go back to

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Speaker 2: my box breathing. Sometimes I do have to go back

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Speaker 2: to my five you know, five four three two one.

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Speaker 2: So what are some of the best tips and tools

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Speaker 2: that you've put in your book to help when you

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Speaker 2: do get to that anxious moment?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So my book is very different because it's

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Speaker 3: not necessarily about what you can do when anxiety arises.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I do.

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Speaker 3: I do have box breathing in there. I do have

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Speaker 3: other techniques. I do have, you know, sort of an

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Speaker 3: exposure therapy type of thing in my own lens. That's

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Speaker 3: all great, okay, But when I was examining my own

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Speaker 3: anxiety and taking a look and seeing what's currently out there,

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Speaker 3: both at a spiritual level, which is like breathe through it,

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Speaker 3: you know, and at a psychological level, which is, you know,

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Speaker 3: talk through it or what have you, every approach was

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Speaker 3: focused on the symptoms of anxiety. Now, my background is

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Speaker 3: in past regression, okay, So I don't come from a

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Speaker 3: mental health background at all other than just suffering through it.

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Speaker 3: And so for me, within past life regression, we go

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Speaker 3: back into a past lifetime that is pinpointing the initial

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Speaker 3: cause of the trauma. So whether it be like in

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Speaker 3: our child work or like IFS therapy or parts work,

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Speaker 3: or past life regression, we're going back to the initial

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Speaker 3: cause in order to solve the current problem. And this

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Speaker 3: is the approach that I took with anxiety. Great, everyone's saying,

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Speaker 3: this is what you do in the moment of anxiety,

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Speaker 3: but that's just a quick fix. It kept coming back.

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Speaker 3: So how do we prevent sustainable anxiety from coming back again,

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Speaker 3: and for me, it was going to the initial source

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Speaker 3: of anxiety. So the two things that my book is

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Speaker 3: trying to answer that I felt that there's a gap

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Speaker 3: in the market here, no one's really talking about these things.

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Speaker 3: One is what exactly is anxiety? What is it?

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Speaker 1: What do you categorize it as?

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Speaker 3: Okay, so it's a it is a little bit of everything, right,

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Speaker 3: It's cognitive, it's behavioral, it's physical, we feel it, it's neurological,

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Speaker 3: it's emotion dying, it's it is all of the things

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Speaker 3: now in a moment of a panic attack, because that's

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Speaker 3: what I suffer. I suffer from a lot of different things,

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Speaker 3: but panic and chronic and all of the things. But

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Speaker 3: in the moment of a panic attack, it's you know, behavioral,

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Speaker 3: it's physical, it's emotional, it's you know, neurological, it's all

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Speaker 3: of the things all about once. But when we break

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Speaker 3: it down, we slow down the process. It's actually there

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Speaker 3: is a linear system of it starts here and then

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Speaker 3: it descends into all of the things we usually don't

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Speaker 3: listen to the initial alert of anxiety, and then it

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Speaker 3: builds and then the alarm bells are going off, and

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Speaker 3: they're getting louder, and they're getting louder, and then eventually

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Speaker 3: we listen to it. So the initial what is anxiety

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Speaker 3: at its core? Right, what it comes down to is

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Speaker 3: it's an energetic alert system. That's what it is. That's

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Speaker 3: why we can't exactly explain it in the brain. We

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Speaker 3: can take a look at the symptoms of anxiety after

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Speaker 3: the anxiety ping, after that messenger has gone out to saying, Hey,

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Speaker 3: something's wrong here, something is off, something is different, something

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Speaker 3: could be bad. I mean, even in my book, I

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Speaker 3: describe it as your Spidey sense, right. Think about Spider Man.

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Speaker 3: He gets this sort of energetic alert and then something

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Speaker 3: bad happens, but that alert clues him into something bad

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Speaker 3: is about to happen, or something is happening that you're

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Speaker 3: not aware of. Now, this actually goes back to our

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Speaker 3: evolutionary roots, right. Think about the hunter gatherer days. You're

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Speaker 3: in the forest, you're hunting for your next meal, and

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Speaker 3: all of a sudden, the hair stands up on the

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Speaker 3: back of your neck, or you get this gut feeling

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Speaker 3: like ooh, something's not quite right here, and you look

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Speaker 3: around and you realize that you are actually being hunted

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Speaker 3: in that moment. Okay, So what it comes down to

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Speaker 3: at an evolutionary biological level is that those systems are

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Speaker 3: going off. They're alerting us that something is wrong and

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Speaker 3: we feel like we are about to die, because that's

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Speaker 3: what it goes back to. It goes back to that

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Speaker 3: hunter gatherer days. This is a mechanical process. It's the

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Speaker 3: system in our body. Now, the problem is is that

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Speaker 3: if you believe that if you have trust issues of

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Speaker 3: I'm going to go out, I'm going to get trapped

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Speaker 3: in traffic, or I'm going to get stuck on an

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Speaker 3: airplane or I'm going to get stuck on a boat,

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Speaker 3: right because by thing is getting trapped too and not

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Speaker 3: having the control. If I don't have the control and

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Speaker 3: I don't have the power to choose, you know, and

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Speaker 3: that's going to be that's going to be a life

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Speaker 3: or death situation. So there's a problem that we may

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Speaker 3: not be able to consciously cognitively perceive, and yet our

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Speaker 3: systems are perceiving it and it's going to go to

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Speaker 3: the life or death situation and that's how our by react.

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Speaker 3: So initially, where is anxiety coming from, What is the cause,

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Speaker 3: what is the root cause. Right, it's that energetic pining.

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Speaker 3: Now it's fascinating about what I was uncovering is you know,

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Speaker 3: is anxiety comes from three different places. Okay, now, as

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Speaker 3: I always take it or leave it, this is just

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Speaker 3: my observation, right, and this is I outline this in

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Speaker 3: the book. I started to realize that there is past anxiety,

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Speaker 3: there is present moment anxiety, and there is future anxiety.

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Speaker 3: And they are all very different things, and they are

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Speaker 3: all different causes of anxiety. And I believe that when

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Speaker 3: we a understand what exactly anxiety is and how it

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Speaker 3: affects all of our systems, that will help us better

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Speaker 3: understand it, which helps us better overcome it. And then secondly,

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Speaker 3: when we can pinpoint and target and bring solutions to

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Speaker 3: each of the causes of anxiety, past, present, and future,

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Speaker 3: then we can sustainably end the anxiety from happening again. Now,

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Speaker 3: you can never really let go of anxiety altogether, because

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Speaker 3: essentially it's our messenger, it's our intuition, it's our energetic

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Speaker 3: system telling us information. But what we can do is

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Speaker 3: we can reframe it, to listen to it objectively, to say, hey,

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Speaker 3: I feel something's off here. My gut is acting up,

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Speaker 3: my spighting senses are are flaring, you know what's going on?

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Speaker 3: What do you have to tell me?

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Speaker 2: So for us girls that don't like that feeling of

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Speaker 2: being trapped, because again I am you know, if I'm

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Speaker 2: going to a concert, I am exit like I see

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Speaker 2: where they you know, I'm like, I'm backstage exit like,

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Speaker 2: or I'm not going I can't do it, or on

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Speaker 2: that you know, expressway, freeway whatever. You know, how do

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Speaker 2: you walk that backwards to not get into that anxiety?

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Speaker 1: What would you do for that?

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Speaker 3: So that would be a great scenario, great case for

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Speaker 3: present moment anxiety. Okay, the present moment anxiety is typically

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Speaker 3: all about the stimulation of the outside world, right, So

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Speaker 3: how you proceed the outside world in the moment? I mean,

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Speaker 3: I go into just simple like cleaning up your closet

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Speaker 3: or cleaning out your drawers, or going through your apps

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Speaker 3: on your phone, you know, or your desktop files. Right Like,

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Speaker 3: when we clear our space and we have a lower

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Speaker 3: stimulation environment, our anxiety isn't as present, right, It's not

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Speaker 3: getting triggered as much. Now. The other thing that comes

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Speaker 3: through from present moment anxiety, which is where planes and

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Speaker 3: concerts and all the things really kind of act up

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Speaker 3: is from energetic connections with other people, and this is

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Speaker 3: only getting more and more present because we are all

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Speaker 3: becoming more and more sensitive energetically. Before twenty years ago,

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Speaker 3: no big deal, you know, unless you are like an

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Speaker 3: mpath or an old soul and you can just feel

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Speaker 3: everything like I did as a kid, No big deal.

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Speaker 3: You're shut off from everyone else. You're doing your thing,

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Speaker 3: you're you know. Nowadays, we're interacting with life. We're paying

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Speaker 3: our bills, we're going to work, we're making dinner. And

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Speaker 3: yet there's also this extra added layer of the energetic

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Speaker 3: interactions around us. So when you go to a concert

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Speaker 3: or you're stuck in a bus or a plane or

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Speaker 3: whatever that situation is, you're actually feeling everyone else's energy

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Speaker 3: in that moment as well, which can be entirely overwhelming,

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Speaker 3: which could immediately lead to a panic attack. It's like,

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Speaker 3: this is way too much for me. I don't know

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Speaker 3: how to escape this, so I have to physically remove myself.

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Speaker 3: And as I physically remove myself, I feel better. But

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Speaker 3: when you can't, yeah, and when you can't, I mean,

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Speaker 3: the energy has to release somewhere, and that's where the

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Speaker 3: panic attack ensues. So there's many things that we can do, right,

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Speaker 3: not just like de stimulating our environment, obviously, gaining access

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Speaker 3: to more trust within ourselves that hey, we've been through

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Speaker 3: this before, we can get through it again. I trust

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Speaker 3: that this isn't going to happen, or I trust that

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Speaker 3: if it does happen, it happens for a reason, and

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Speaker 3: like that's cool too. So trust obviously is a big

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Speaker 3: part because it's the opposite of control, and it's our

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Speaker 3: control tendencies that tend to make us feel trapped, and

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Speaker 3: then our systems are alarm belling us because I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh my goodness, I feel trapped, But that's just a

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Speaker 3: perceived state of being and not the real state of being.

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Speaker 3: The other thing that comes through a lot, especially with

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Speaker 3: present moment anxiety, is a feeling of safety. Right, So

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Speaker 3: if we go back to sort of that historical evolutionary

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Speaker 3: sensation of I'm being hunted and my life is being

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Speaker 3: threatened right now, if you're in a place where you

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Speaker 3: feel trapped, it's the same feeling like my life is

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Speaker 3: being threatened in this moment, and I don't know how

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Speaker 3: to fully perceive that cognitively, but like it's not okay.

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Speaker 3: And so when you actually remind your systems, especially consciously,

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Speaker 3: so you're talking to yourself consciously in your mind and saying, actually,

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Speaker 3: you're safe, you're fed, you've got shelter, you know, you've

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Speaker 3: got water, you have space to breathe like, you're okay, right,

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Speaker 3: So a lot of it is just reminding yourself safety.

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Speaker 3: And so the biggest affirmation that I use, along with

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Speaker 3: the box breathing to ground yourself into the present moment,

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Speaker 3: is I'm safe. I'm safe. No, my whole system is

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Speaker 3: telling me I'm not safe, but there's no actual reason

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Speaker 3: why I'm not safe. And one of the biggest problems

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Speaker 3: with anxiety, and this is why it's so hard to

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Speaker 3: wrap our head around, is we can't logically deduce it right.

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Speaker 3: A lot of the time it's our systems picking up

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Speaker 3: on an energy and saying something's not quite right, but

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Speaker 3: I don't know what that is.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: So future anxiety is when you're up at three am

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Speaker 3: and you're thinking, I have a dinner party. Do I

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Speaker 3: have all the ingredients? Is everyone going to come? What

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Speaker 3: if someone doesn't come? If? What if the weather is bad?

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Speaker 3: And like that, and so it's all the what if

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Speaker 3: moments and future. Anxiety is specifically related to the fact

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Speaker 3: that the alarm bells are going off. Your logical cognitive

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Speaker 3: brain has no idea where to pinpoint what's wrong. I

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Speaker 3: don't know what's wrong, so let me just create a

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Speaker 3: myriad of problems to try and pinpoint what I think

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Speaker 3: might be wrong. Right, And so that's that's the elusive

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Speaker 3: part of anxiety, and that's why this book really tries

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Speaker 3: to pinpoint exactly what it is, both physically and non physically,

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Speaker 3: and where it comes from from the past, the present,

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Speaker 3: and the future, including those energetic interactions with other people

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Speaker 3: in our lives.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: You know, for me, there's so many things I look

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Speaker 2: back on. I go, I didn't do that because of

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Speaker 2: my anxiety, because I was too afraid and not feeling.

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Speaker 2: You know, there's other people too. It's like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: don't I can't fly because of my anxiety. And I

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Speaker 2: remember when I was dating my husband or you know,

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Speaker 2: he was on my boyfriend or whatever, but he was

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Speaker 2: living in England. And I don't like to travel alone.

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Speaker 2: I just it's not my favorite thing. I don't love it.

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Speaker 2: But obviously I can't get someone to travel to England

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Speaker 2: with me. You know, every time to go see him.

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Speaker 2: But it became one of those things is once I

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Speaker 2: stepped out of my comfort zone. I remember going in

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Speaker 2: the bathroom and again to what you had just said.

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Speaker 2: It's such like a simple logical thing, but I remember

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Speaker 2: looking in the mirror in the bathroom going like, you're

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Speaker 2: going to be okay, this is going to be great.

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Speaker 1: You're fine.

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Speaker 2: And then it was just simply saying that to myself

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Speaker 2: in the mirror and I was like, okay, like I

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Speaker 2: got this, you know. And I did it every plane ride,

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Speaker 2: and then once each plane ride kind of ticked off

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Speaker 2: and I went to the next one and I was okay, yes,

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Speaker 2: then you're like, all right, I got this, you know.

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Speaker 2: And it's but it's taking that first step. And I

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Speaker 2: think that's the hardest thing for people that do have

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Speaker 2: anxiety is to take because then they let the anxiety drive,

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Speaker 2: which was what I did for so many years.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 2: And that's not what I want controlling or driving my life.

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Speaker 3: Yep. Absolutely. And it's it's like this really deep rooted

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Speaker 3: and I go into this in my trust chapter, but

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Speaker 3: it's a deep, deeply rooted trust issue, not necessarily like

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Speaker 3: we would love to say like, I don't trust other people.

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Speaker 3: I don't trust the venue, I don't trust the pilot. No,

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Speaker 3: it is a deep rooted trust issue with yourself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The way that I describe it is imagine your phone

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Speaker 3: alarm going off and you ignore it. No, okay, and

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Speaker 3: then then you live with the alarm, kind of living

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Speaker 3: with a clock ticking in the background, and you eventually

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Speaker 3: don't hear it, right, and another alarm goes off, kind

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Speaker 3: of hear it, you don't hear it. Eventually all the

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Speaker 3: alarm bells are going off. Your system is saying I

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Speaker 3: have tried to warn you about all of these things.

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Speaker 3: You have not listened. Every single time it has not

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Speaker 3: worked out for you because you have not been listening,

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Speaker 3: and that creates this very subtle, you know, untouchable feeling

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Speaker 3: of I'm not listening to myself. Therefore I don't trust myself.

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Speaker 3: Therefore I have intrinsic trust issues with everything, and I'm

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Speaker 3: not safe going about my day and you know, going

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Speaker 3: about you know, interacting with the world. And so part

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Speaker 3: of it is a radical responsibility around I am done

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Speaker 3: being like I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

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Speaker 3: I'm ready to change like I'm ready to make a shift.

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Speaker 3: When you feel that way, you take that leap of

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Speaker 3: faith and you take that risk that feels like you

401
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Speaker 3: are about to die. And when you're ready to do

402
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Speaker 3: that and you find that strength and that courage in

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Speaker 3: yourself to do that, that's when everything opens up. And

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Speaker 3: like you said, now you know what to do in

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Speaker 3: a moment of anxiety, but you know something like a

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Speaker 3: plane ride, you do it enough, you build that trust

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Speaker 3: up with yourself that no longer becomes an issue. And

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Speaker 3: so one of the techniques that I have in my book,

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Speaker 3: it's called the renew process essentially, and the first it's

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Speaker 3: like three steps. First step is to recognize. Recognize the

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Speaker 3: moment you feel anxiety, the moment you feel something is off,

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Speaker 3: not when your heart is raising, your palms are sweating,

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Speaker 3: and you've got it literally exit stage left, okay, But

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Speaker 3: before that, okay. So first step is recognize when you

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Speaker 3: are feeling anxious, and the second step is neutralize it. Now,

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of different ways to neutralize it. One part,

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Speaker 3: which is more of a physical like something that you

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Speaker 3: can really do is to box breathe through it four

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Speaker 3: four four four. And then also to remind yourself that

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Speaker 3: you're safe. That's like an immediate quick fix, right. Like

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Speaker 3: I said, this book is reprogramming of the mind. It's

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Speaker 3: not a quick fix, but that's how we can neutralize

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Speaker 3: it in the moment, a deeper way to neutralize it

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Speaker 3: for sustainable anxiety healing. And this is what I explained

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Speaker 3: to my book is through objective observation. Okay, now I

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Speaker 3: give an example of my book. I when I ended

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Speaker 3: up giving birth to my son, I had this extreme

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Speaker 3: fear around falling holding him, going down the stairs and

429
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 3: like falling down the stairs with him. Yeah, And I

430
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 3: know that this is a thing that like mom's like,

431
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 3: you know, it's like, oh my god, like is he

432
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 3: gonna be? Is he gonna make it?

433
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 1: Yeah? For sure?

434
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 2: Dropping a baby fear I think every mom has felt

435
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 2: in some former fashion.

436
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 3: Yep. And so I would grip onto the railing. I

437
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 3: wouldn't let anyone carry him down the stairs or up

438
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 3: the stairs. Like it was debilitating. And at a certain point,

439
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't, I can't keep doing this, like

440
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 3: I I I'm not well, Like I'm not I'm not

441
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 3: I don't feel oh well, Like I'm constantly anxious about this,

442
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 3: So what do I do? What do I do here?

443
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 3: And what I ended up doing was I took him

444
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 3: in my arms. I sat in the middle of the

445
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 3: stairs and I mentally went through the worst case scenario.

446
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 3: And it's like the pitch of anxiety, right. The anxiety

447
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 3: would build and build and build. All the symptoms started

448
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: coming out and I couldn't I couldn't look at it anymore.

449
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 3: I couldn't go through it anymore. It was like too

450
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 3: intense for me. And then I was like, would breathe

451
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 3: through it, remind myself of safety, review it again, going

452
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 3: over it the worst case scenario in my mind, what

453
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 3: is my greatest fear, Let's confront it. I would do

454
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 3: that again and again and again. I probably did that

455
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 3: about twenty times, sitting there on the stairs with him

456
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 3: sleeping in my arms.

457
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: Yep.

458
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 3: And no matter what the outcome was, I accepted it.

459
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: And after I got through that pitch, that wave of anxiety,

460
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 3: it would decrease. And every time I observed the situation

461
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 3: that I feared the most, again it was a little

462
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 3: less anxiety, a little less anxiety until I could observe

463
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 3: that situation and there was no emotional reaction or anxiety

464
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 3: attached to it at all.

465
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

466
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 3: So I believe that by confronting our greatest fear, by

467
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 3: showing up and observing it objectively over and over and

468
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 3: over again, we neutralize it and we get rid of

469
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 3: the emotional attachment associated with it. And I am telling

470
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 3: you my entire life changed after that moment. Because that

471
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: was a technique. I then placed into worst case scenario,

472
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 3: getting stuck on a plane, worst case scenario with anything,

473
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 3: as long as I was willing and able to have

474
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: the courage to feel into the worst case scenario, observe

475
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 3: it until there was no more emotional reaction. I applied

476
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 3: that to everything. I could go up and down the

477
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,959
Speaker 3: stairs with body, I could let other people go up

478
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 3: in the down the stairs.

479
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: With him, because you realize, like, okay, you're it's going

480
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 2: to be okay. You know, even some of the worst

481
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 2: case that the worst case isn't actually sometimes the worst

482
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: it's it's not all right, So.

483
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: What could happen?

484
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 2: I you know this, I'll still be okay.

485
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 3: Exactly, I've gone through worse. You know, We'll get through this.

486
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,239
Speaker 3: And then a part of the book, too, in the

487
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 3: Trust chapter, is all about how everything happens for a reason.

488
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 3: This is a core belief, you know. So I talk

489
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 3: a lot about free will versus destiny and how our

490
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: souls choose a blueprint, and so some of the most

491
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 3: challenging moments in our life are actually predestined. I mean,

492
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,479
Speaker 3: there are things that we set out to choose in

493
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 3: order to learn from. Because if you think about it,

494
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 3: if you had all the money, all the knowledge, all

495
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 3: the power, all the material wealth, all the things in

496
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 3: the entire world, what would happen. You would be bored.

497
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,360
Speaker 3: There would be no growth, there would be no movement,

498
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,679
Speaker 3: there would be no up and down, back and forth,

499
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: light and dark there would be there would be none

500
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 3: of that, there'd be no polarity. Therefore, there would be

501
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 3: no growth. And so I truly believe that challenge is

502
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: put on our path for a reason to help us

503
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 3: move forward. And if we were to truly believe that

504
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 3: and live our lives like, no matter what's going to happen,

505
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 3: it's actually going to be in the betterment of my

506
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: existence and my growth and my lessons, then you're willing

507
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 3: to confront hard situations with a lot less anxiety.

508
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh well, I love that so much.

509
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 2: I am so excited to get your book, and everyone

510
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: go get a Survival Guide for Thriving in a high

511
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: stress world. Your anxiety is giving me anxiety, Elizabeth, thank

512
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 2: you so much for coming on.

513
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: I loved this chat.

514
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 3: Yeah. Likewise, thank you so

515
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: So sweet, Thank you so much for Chattina all about

516
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: this