WEBVTT - Perfrectionism Is Self-Doubt

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<v Speaker 1>Discipline over desire determines your destination, but perfection is not possible.

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<v Speaker 2>Look at you. With all of these, I always keep

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<v Speaker 2>favorite at my big age. I've realized that do people

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<v Speaker 2>tend to mask procrastination as the pursuit of perfection?

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<v Speaker 3>Hmm?

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<v Speaker 2>I wonder.

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<v Speaker 1>It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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<v Speaker 1>from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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<v Speaker 1>Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

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<v Speaker 2>That Ask was more than a podcast for us. It

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<v Speaker 2>was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 1>Be wraw urse, but most appointingly be us.

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<v Speaker 2>But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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<v Speaker 2>and through it all, one thing has never This is

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<v Speaker 2>after because we got a lot to talk about.

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<v Speaker 1>So storytime, I'm going to take you back to summer

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand and three, some of two thousand. Yeah, this

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<v Speaker 1>is over twenty years ago. This is when Kadeen and

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<v Speaker 1>I had already been together for a year. But this

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<v Speaker 1>is also my first off season as a college athlete,

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<v Speaker 1>and I remember going into this offseason telling everybody I'm

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<v Speaker 1>approved to them that I belong here. As a freshman,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't start I only played in two games. Both

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<v Speaker 1>games I played and I scored touchdowns. I felt like

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<v Speaker 1>I was a best receiver on the team, and because

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<v Speaker 1>of that, I felt like I had to show everybody

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<v Speaker 1>who I was. You know, I was the only receiver

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<v Speaker 1>at the time that was a walk on and had

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<v Speaker 1>to earn a scholarship other than me and Brian Woman.

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<v Speaker 4>At the time.

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<v Speaker 1>So I was just kind of tired of people like

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<v Speaker 1>putting me with the walk on group. So I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I am going to be perfect in anything came to

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<v Speaker 1>depth of routes, when it came to catching the ball,

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<v Speaker 1>knowing all the plays, I wanted to be perfect. And

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<v Speaker 1>you know what happened with my pursuit of perfection. I failed.

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<v Speaker 1>My sophomore season at HAFTA was the worst year I

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<v Speaker 1>ever played in football. And I'm explaining to you why

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<v Speaker 1>since I was trying to do everything with the standard

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<v Speaker 1>of perfection. If I was slightly off, I didn't accept it,

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<v Speaker 1>which means I spent many days in a row never

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<v Speaker 1>reaching a standard that I saw value in it myself,

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<v Speaker 1>and I started to get depressed. And as I started

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<v Speaker 1>to get depressed, it started to be like can I

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<v Speaker 1>do this because I couldn't do it perfectly. I started

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<v Speaker 1>to tell myself, Oh can I do this? Then I

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<v Speaker 1>told myself, when I'm a sophomore, it's a sophomore slump.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm supposed to go through this.

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<v Speaker 1>So in chasing perfection and then not getting it, I

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<v Speaker 1>then told myself I wasn't supposed to be here at

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<v Speaker 1>this moment and accepted the failures and it was the

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<v Speaker 1>worst thing that could ever happen to me. My sophomore year.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember that time all right karaoke. So I figured

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<v Speaker 2>perfection and people trying to do things their way to

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<v Speaker 2>pursue their pursuit of perfection. It only made sense to

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<v Speaker 2>sing I just like this song on My Way by

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<v Speaker 2>us y'all. I had nothing to do or nothing, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, you're still on tour is see.

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<v Speaker 2>I wish you would go back and do his residency

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<v Speaker 2>because I was like the best one. I preferred the

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<v Speaker 2>residency over the tour.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like the residency was more intimate. Yeah, but

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<v Speaker 1>we're not going to keep over. You're supposed to sing

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<v Speaker 1>my way.

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<v Speaker 2>Will know you know I'm still getting better. You want

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<v Speaker 2>to help me out, please, I got you.

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<v Speaker 4>But whatever you need, I got way.

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<v Speaker 2>My way. I'm in contrust that met me to get

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<v Speaker 2>this funny.

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<v Speaker 5>Why she's so fast.

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<v Speaker 2>We never know the words, y'all, but y'all get the point,

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<v Speaker 2>okay about.

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<v Speaker 1>Doing things my way?

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<v Speaker 6>Perfectionists, You are a perfectionists. Certainly am shout out to

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<v Speaker 6>Josh for bringing up this topic, because my wife is

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<v Speaker 6>a perfectionist and a lot of times she'll tell you

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<v Speaker 6>that leads to her procrastinating and.

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<v Speaker 2>Not getting done. Me and Josh kind of cut from

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<v Speaker 2>the same cloth we've had.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, we are. I'm glad Matt staring right at

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<v Speaker 4>you over there. You know who else is.

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<v Speaker 1>Like that too? Trouble Trible is definitely the type that's like,

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<v Speaker 1>if this ain't perfect, I'm not putting it out and

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<v Speaker 1>it will never go out. We want to pay some bills,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're gonna come back and attack these three. We're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna we're gonna attack these We're going.

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<v Speaker 2>To call to the front of the congregation.

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<v Speaker 4>You're gonna attack all of us. Yes, this nigga doesn't

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<v Speaker 4>live in a bubble just like us. Cat Oh we

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<v Speaker 4>got I can't wait for this.

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<v Speaker 2>Matt is hiding something that we don't know. That's the mystery.

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<v Speaker 2>Of Matt. That's why Matt will invite us over. That's

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<v Speaker 2>why Matt, guys. I'm just throwing it out there that

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<v Speaker 2>Matt hasn't invited us over to his house. And he's

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<v Speaker 2>lived here for two years, that is always here. But

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<v Speaker 2>Matt says he doesn't invite people to his house. So

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<v Speaker 2>we're just gonna pull up one of these days with

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<v Speaker 2>all the kids and we're going to break in. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's just what it is.

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<v Speaker 4>We won't be just start cleaning the house.

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<v Speaker 3>People on the way over.

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<v Speaker 4>Look at that I want to start.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna change the door code. I'm not gonna let

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<v Speaker 2>him in unless he lets me over one day, Matthew,

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<v Speaker 2>So we're gonna come to the front of the congregation.

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<v Speaker 4>But if she said you can't come in.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, sometimes I'm looking for a place to send it out.

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<v Speaker 2>And where am I gonna send him?

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<v Speaker 1>I say, you see, this is why I take the

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<v Speaker 1>cookies when I get the biggest.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, hey, it's a fair trade away. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>fair trade off.

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<v Speaker 1>I think if they would have saw you by that address,

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<v Speaker 1>they would understand why you be trying to get rid

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<v Speaker 1>of me?

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<v Speaker 2>All right, I understand. I'll stand up for you again

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<v Speaker 2>later and then.

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<v Speaker 1>Stand up for you again. Trust me. You know what, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying that I would stop playing with.

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<v Speaker 2>Twenty three years.

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<v Speaker 4>Can we just go pay these bills?

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<v Speaker 2>I would know better. Let's pay some bills, y'all. We'll

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<v Speaker 2>come back. Stick around for the snailigans. All right, We're back,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, Time for op or no op, take it away,

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<v Speaker 2>triple all right.

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<v Speaker 5>This month is Father's Day.

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<v Speaker 4>Shout out to all the father's baby to the two fathers.

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<v Speaker 3>On the cast.

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<v Speaker 2>Amazing thing. Never want to do this life without, y'all.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, big up to the guys who don't want to

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<v Speaker 7>be fathers because they've got some male birth control coming out,

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<v Speaker 7>but they do.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's an injection.

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<v Speaker 7>It's some type of like jail that they inject into

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<v Speaker 7>the like semen ducks, sperm ducks, so that sperm doesn't

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<v Speaker 7>mix with the semen when it comes out here.

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<v Speaker 1>They injected directly into the sack.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's a I think it's an implant.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, kind of like when women have like the the

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<v Speaker 2>implant that goes under the skin. Yeah, so this just

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<v Speaker 2>goes into the scrollum into that.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, but I think it's just a jail and its

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<v Speaker 7>it says it's a water soluble hydrogel gel that's inserted

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<v Speaker 7>into the sperm ducks so the sperm doesn't mix with

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<v Speaker 7>the semen and they it said it it lasts for

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<v Speaker 7>two years.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, Josh said, he got out. This goes against all

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<v Speaker 4>that we stand for. I just want to say that first,

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<v Speaker 4>men or people men, Okay, Right, So my opinion in

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<v Speaker 4>general is women have been injecting stuff into them. Sorry,

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<v Speaker 4>women have been injecting things into them like forever or

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<v Speaker 4>placing things inside of them for the sake of not

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<v Speaker 4>having children. And I understand wanting to do this, but

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<v Speaker 4>this is this goes against everything that we stand for

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<v Speaker 4>as men. Right, does it come out?

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<v Speaker 2>In what sense?

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<v Speaker 4>Does it come out? You putting something in a block something?

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<v Speaker 4>Is it coming out?

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<v Speaker 1>Says it's a jelu, So probably in after two years

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<v Speaker 1>it probably doesn't.

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<v Speaker 4>No, no, no, that's coming out. I know that's coming out.

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<v Speaker 4>But is anything coming out?

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<v Speaker 7>It is?

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't come out with sperms. It blocks the sperm,

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<v Speaker 2>but you can still ejaculate.

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<v Speaker 4>And pulling out.

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<v Speaker 1>No, you don't have to understand what I understand. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like getting to pisectomy. Remember when I was concerned that

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<v Speaker 1>it wouldn't be the same consistency. Oh, everything is still

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<v Speaker 1>the same.

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<v Speaker 2>I can, yes, let you know that it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything is still the I didn't ask.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm you didn't know.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't ask, but you technically did just ask. You

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<v Speaker 1>just said does it come out, which means does it

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<v Speaker 1>come out with the same.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's not blocking an ejaculation, it's just brought the sperm.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what you meant by goes again because I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>where is he going with? It goes against everything that

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<v Speaker 2>we stand for as a man, because it gotta come out.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, we're doing men such a disservice by not giving

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<v Speaker 7>them birth control because as women, because we have to

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<v Speaker 7>do all this stuff, we have such an intimate relationship

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<v Speaker 7>with our anatomy.

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<v Speaker 5>You niggas don't even know what seemen is.

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<v Speaker 2>I do it.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I do not.

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<v Speaker 1>I know what semen y'all.

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<v Speaker 5>Y'all don't know how it works. Y'all keep asking these

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<v Speaker 5>questions like.

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<v Speaker 4>No, Josh asked answered the question. You just presented this

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<v Speaker 4>to me. My god, this is the problem. What am

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<v Speaker 4>I know what to do? Am I supposed to not

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<v Speaker 4>ask questions?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm glad Josh that you brought this up,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm glad the Tripple brought this up because we

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<v Speaker 1>were talking about the female anatomy before this, and we

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<v Speaker 1>were saying that there's so many different things that women

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<v Speaker 1>go through that men don't know, and men, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>women expect us to know. We talked about the four

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<v Speaker 1>different phases of the menstal cycle and how you put

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<v Speaker 1>this pretty much four different people that live. That is

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<v Speaker 1>an actual fact, right, Men didn't know that, but women

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<v Speaker 1>will constantly be.

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<v Speaker 5>Like, y'all didn't know that, Well, we didn't know for

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<v Speaker 5>a long time. A lot of us.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just learning about the luteal phase and all these

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<v Speaker 2>different phases and what emotions are corresponding with each week.

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<v Speaker 2>And then we feel like we're crazy half the time

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<v Speaker 2>because y'all tell us that we're crazy too. It's like,

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<v Speaker 2>I know I'm crazy, and then you co signed that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm crazy, But am I crazy? Or am I just

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<v Speaker 2>going through whatever my body is going through in the moment,

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<v Speaker 2>And it's yeah, no, no, no, no, but but no,

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<v Speaker 2>no change his dress.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll change it with you. But no, you are right though, though,

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<v Speaker 1>you're right because you are going through changes and we

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<v Speaker 1>need to know. But I do kind of want to

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<v Speaker 1>get back to why you say it goes against everything?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it because you ejaculating is like the manliest thing?

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<v Speaker 4>That's yeah, I mean that's part of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Like he thought it was blocking ejaculation completely, and.

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<v Speaker 1>You're saying it doesn't block, it just comes out just

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<v Speaker 1>what you think it's. Do you still have the same.

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<v Speaker 4>App No, I don't. I do. I do have the

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<v Speaker 4>same app Now I'm not doing You're not with it? Now,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not with it? Okay? Are you with EXECTI meies

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<v Speaker 4>you're not with exectories. I don't mind that, okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 4>But this is a foreign object, right. Exectly is a

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<v Speaker 4>procedure that's stopping something.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a foreign object, which is the problem a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of women have with putting foreign in their bodies forever.

0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.959
<v Speaker 4>And I see here it says non hormonal. Yeah, it's

0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:03.040
<v Speaker 4>not a non hormonal situation. So it's a foreign object

0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.640
<v Speaker 4>that's going into my body and we don't know what

0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.040
<v Speaker 4>the what the adverse respects of this is, Well, they.

0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:11.160
<v Speaker 5>Said they've been testing it and there have been no

0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:13.559
<v Speaker 5>adverse effects recorded.

0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:15.959
<v Speaker 2>No diarrhea, no leaky gut, no yellow eyes.

0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:19.559
<v Speaker 4>When they put the joint on TV, it's going to

0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.320
<v Speaker 4>be like a whole bunch of stuff. Here go fall out,

0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 4>your toe, nails go fall off.

0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:27.839
<v Speaker 7>And this is a this is a reversible alternative to

0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.560
<v Speaker 7>the vissectomy because this will only last for two years.

0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:32.160
<v Speaker 5>You get the implant taken out.

0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:35.959
<v Speaker 4>But isn't the reversible checking bar?

0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so here's that it can be reversible.

0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.240
<v Speaker 2>So here's my opponente because I can't speak to the

0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:46.719
<v Speaker 2>male anatomy, the nail male body. However, speaking about procreating

0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.520
<v Speaker 2>and having children, I think that men should be given

0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:51.319
<v Speaker 2>the option to say, you know what, I'm in a

0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.160
<v Speaker 2>space where I want to enjoy myself and I don't

0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.400
<v Speaker 2>want to have to worry about becoming a father before

0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:57.840
<v Speaker 2>my time. I don't want to have to make that decision.

0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:00.600
<v Speaker 2>So if he can take control over that, then it's

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:02.439
<v Speaker 2>like why not. I'm all for that.

0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:04.719
<v Speaker 4>I don't have an op.

0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 1>I had a vasectomy, So I'm all for men holding

0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:11.680
<v Speaker 1>the power and taking control over their own bodies if

0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:13.400
<v Speaker 1>there's something they want to do, especially if they have

0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.400
<v Speaker 1>a wife or a significant other. I gree with Josh

0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.959
<v Speaker 1>that putting something in your body is different than the vasectomy.

0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 1>But I will also say this, now we've asked women

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:27.880
<v Speaker 1>to take hormones, put in rings, put in coils.

0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:30.439
<v Speaker 2>Copper, and all sorts of gear.

0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:33.079
<v Speaker 4>And for me, I'm not asking my wife to do that.

0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh and I'm not even talking about wives. I'm talking

0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.559
<v Speaker 1>about Say you a single dude out there right, my

0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:39.440
<v Speaker 1>first thing would be like to my sons, you need

0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.319
<v Speaker 1>to be putting on a fucking condom regards so you

0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:45.439
<v Speaker 1>don't need that anyway, but just in case you the

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:47.439
<v Speaker 1>kind of breaks or something and you don't want to

0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:49.120
<v Speaker 1>have no kids. If you know for a fact you

0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.079
<v Speaker 1>don't have no kids, if this is healthy, and why not, Like,

0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:52.560
<v Speaker 1>to be.

0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Honest, why not prevent pregnancy. It's not preventing that.

0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:01.959
<v Speaker 1>And everybody don't need to have kids. Everybody shouldn't. And

0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:04.120
<v Speaker 1>that's not a man thing. That's a man every person

0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.959
<v Speaker 1>and most some people you see here never wanted to

0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:07.679
<v Speaker 1>have the kids they have.

0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:08.760
<v Speaker 5>It happened.

0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:10.240
<v Speaker 1>And if there's a way to prevent that, I'm for that.

0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:12.760
<v Speaker 2>Like just who around the South trips did you have

0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:13.640
<v Speaker 2>any feedback on it?

0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:20.480
<v Speaker 7>I think men should definitely have birth control that they

0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:21.400
<v Speaker 7>are responsible for.

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:24.079
<v Speaker 5>I feel like the owner shouldn't be on women. The

0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:24.800
<v Speaker 5>medical field.

0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.960
<v Speaker 7>They haven't done a lot of research on women's anatomy.

0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:29.559
<v Speaker 7>They've done more on men, so they should put it

0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 7>on men to be responsible. And I think too, men

0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.200
<v Speaker 7>have the option of walking away when a woman gets pregnant,

0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:38.000
<v Speaker 7>when whereas a woman doesn't. The baby's in her body,

0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:40.800
<v Speaker 7>so if you don't want it, you should be responsible

0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:41.640
<v Speaker 7>for not having it.

0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:44.720
<v Speaker 1>I do have a question too, though, to ask Allen's women.

0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 1>I hear women say this all the time.

0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:47.199
<v Speaker 2>Men.

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.719
<v Speaker 1>If a man lays down with a woman and gets

0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.760
<v Speaker 1>her pregnant, but he has a chance to walk away,

0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 1>that's unfair, right, But I do kind of feel like, well,

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 1>a woman also didn't have to lay down, So why

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.160
<v Speaker 1>is it only put on a man like he got

0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:01.200
<v Speaker 1>her pregnant. She laid down and got herself pregnant too,

0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:01.840
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying.

0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that's the case by case in thearor Yeah,

0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:05.719
<v Speaker 2>I agree that both people have to be responsible. I

0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.920
<v Speaker 2>think because women ultimately have the choice to have the

0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:10.920
<v Speaker 2>baby or not. Because you have choices, right when you

0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:12.920
<v Speaker 2>get pregnant and say you don't want the baby, you

0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:15.480
<v Speaker 2>can give it up for adoption. If you have the baby,

0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:17.559
<v Speaker 2>you can go get a plan B. If you know, like,

0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 2>oh man, we got into a situation that we didn't

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 2>expect to be in. There's termination. There's so many options

0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:25.680
<v Speaker 2>available to women. So I think in that circumstance, you know,

0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 2>giving men the power to create kind of their destiny

0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 2>with knowing whether or not they want to have children

0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.680
<v Speaker 2>or not, with having them birth control method that works

0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:36.720
<v Speaker 2>because that way you don't leave it up to guests

0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 2>with what the woman is going to do with her body,

0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:41.000
<v Speaker 2>because ultimately she has full autonomy over her body.

0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.840
<v Speaker 1>I agree, I got four sons. I agree. I don't

0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:46.560
<v Speaker 1>want my sons to have to lay down and say

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:49.600
<v Speaker 1>I hope she doesn't have it. I hope, to be honest,

0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:51.800
<v Speaker 1>I hope my sons would have used discernment before even

0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:55.080
<v Speaker 1>laying down with whoever, saying that, Okay, if I'm laying

0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:56.520
<v Speaker 1>down with her, then she might be the type of

0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:58.760
<v Speaker 1>person that I'll have a child with. But even if

0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 1>you are laying down with her, if she's at the child,

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.120
<v Speaker 1>you should have a choice contraceptive, whether it's a condom

0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:06.720
<v Speaker 1>or is this thing you're talking about. I think men

0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.760
<v Speaker 1>need to start taking more responsibility over what they do

0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:11.960
<v Speaker 1>with their seed, leaving it up to so only a woman.

0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:14.240
<v Speaker 1>To me is like, that's fuck boys shit if we

0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.400
<v Speaker 1>be honest, like, oh, she got pregnant, No, she didn't

0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.560
<v Speaker 1>get pregnant, nigga, right, you got her pregnant? Yeah, y'all,

0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:20.160
<v Speaker 1>I got pregnant.

0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.000
<v Speaker 4>I would say, I do like that perspective, Ka, that

0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.080
<v Speaker 4>makes that makes perfect tense to me. And if that's

0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.840
<v Speaker 4>the situation for me personally, I'm just thinking about myself,

0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.960
<v Speaker 4>but in general, like that that is I mean, having

0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:36.800
<v Speaker 4>this Adam pill or whatever this thing is allows men

0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:40.320
<v Speaker 4>to like take control, right, So like, yeah, I know

0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:42.440
<v Speaker 4>for a fact that ain't mine, right, right, you know

0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:42.800
<v Speaker 4>what I mean?

0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:45.280
<v Speaker 1>Right, So I get that, and then you won't get

0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 1>that whose is it? It ain't mine? I'm on the

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:49.920
<v Speaker 1>shot or you know what I'm saying. I got my

0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:51.480
<v Speaker 1>balls injected with this. It's not mine.

0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 2>Now, you just hope that people will still take a

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.040
<v Speaker 2>step further and we're condom so that there's influx of

0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.160
<v Speaker 2>it's not a past to just go out there and

0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:00.560
<v Speaker 2>be raw dog and everything. You know what I'm saying,

0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:02.520
<v Speaker 2>There has to still be that is.

0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.000
<v Speaker 1>A deeper issue. Right about that. That's a deeper issue.

0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:06.640
<v Speaker 2>So just be smart. People be smart.

0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:12.200
<v Speaker 7>No on the same vein as Father's Day. I know

0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.240
<v Speaker 7>that you guys with kids in here, you try to

0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.720
<v Speaker 7>be good dads. But I often hear dad say they

0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.720
<v Speaker 7>don't get good gifts for Father's Day.

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:21.320
<v Speaker 1>We don't.

0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:26.320
<v Speaker 7>So I'm like, does it make you feel doubtful as

0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:28.440
<v Speaker 7>a dad when your kids bring you a little shitty?

0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.760
<v Speaker 7>When they got mom, they got mom something to elaborate.

0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:36.040
<v Speaker 1>Last month, that's they're gonna get their mom something elaborate.

0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:39.880
<v Speaker 1>I do have an op on that. I personally don't care.

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:42.000
<v Speaker 1>My kids typically ask me that what you want for

0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.080
<v Speaker 1>Father's Day? And I to be like, I don't want nothing,

0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.760
<v Speaker 1>But they actually mother what you want? Well, I want flowers,

0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:48.240
<v Speaker 1>make sure you have a card, make sure we go

0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:48.680
<v Speaker 1>to dinner.

0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:50.800
<v Speaker 4>So you ask your mom, your mom to do that,

0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:52.920
<v Speaker 4>Mom to do that. That's and that's why I feel

0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:54.800
<v Speaker 4>this way. I asked my mom, she tell me. I

0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:55.600
<v Speaker 4>asked my pops.

0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.760
<v Speaker 1>He just be like, don't nothing. Ilse grill for y'all.

0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.920
<v Speaker 1>We watched the games. So to be honest, you can't

0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:04.480
<v Speaker 1>be upset at women saying exactly what they want. That

0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:07.399
<v Speaker 1>is just like the joke and complain, but realistically, I

0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.040
<v Speaker 1>don't want to go to a brunch.

0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Do not take me anywhere that's there. That's my devots hard.

0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.800
<v Speaker 2>He's hard in general. Like birthdays. Everyone always texts me

0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.040
<v Speaker 2>for birthdays and they're like, what do I get Devout?

0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:19.280
<v Speaker 2>We don't know what Devo wants his pajamas today, y'all

0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:20.399
<v Speaker 2>we were supposed to be dressing.

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.639
<v Speaker 4>Why they didn't even notice?

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:30.879
<v Speaker 2>Or are you serious? The theme around the theme around

0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:34.800
<v Speaker 2>elsejama like elevation. We're in a new space. Let's try

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.520
<v Speaker 2>to dress nicely, make it a show. Blah blah blah.

0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:41.000
<v Speaker 2>And Deval comes down here in his Warriors pajama pans. Now,

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.720
<v Speaker 2>I get just playoff basketball time. I get it, and

0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:45.520
<v Speaker 2>I get it that you're still holding on to dead ass.

0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:47.200
<v Speaker 2>But this is how he showed up to set today.

0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:49.119
<v Speaker 2>But that's indicative of who you.

0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:52.399
<v Speaker 1>Got a nice watch about, Thank you, Josh, because I

0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:54.040
<v Speaker 1>didn't realize I had on the dead ass shirt. I

0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:54.720
<v Speaker 1>woke up like this.

0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:57.359
<v Speaker 2>Clearly you didn't make it like that exactly I was.

0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.400
<v Speaker 2>Which if you haven't gotten your dead ass merch, there's

0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.520
<v Speaker 2>not much less y'all is at this point of collector's

0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:03.840
<v Speaker 2>item invented, So make sure y'all hit up the website

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.240
<v Speaker 2>and get what's left. But I'm just saying that to say,

0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:08.879
<v Speaker 2>devou is such a simple person, like he does not

0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:11.119
<v Speaker 2>want to go anywhere. So anytime I've tried to like, oh,

0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.200
<v Speaker 2>for Father's Day, we should go here, we should go that, devousa,

0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to go nowhere. It's my day. Why

0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:16.840
<v Speaker 2>are you trying to put your spin on what I

0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:19.359
<v Speaker 2>want for my day? I want you to sit at home.

0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.920
<v Speaker 2>I want to grill. He's like, essentially become his dad.

0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:24.840
<v Speaker 2>He's like, I want to sit home. I'll grill with

0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:26.760
<v Speaker 2>the boys, be hanging around, they get in the pool.

0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.720
<v Speaker 2>It's in June, they just got out to school. I

0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:30.840
<v Speaker 2>just want to chill with my family. And then still

0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll go and I'll buy him a couple of things here,

0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:34.959
<v Speaker 2>you know, a Mary's his spot or whatever, and then

0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:37.800
<v Speaker 2>he'll open it and it's like you didn't have to

0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.760
<v Speaker 2>get this, I didn't need this. So it's really ultimately hard.

0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:42.320
<v Speaker 2>But I get your point, tripe. But most of the time,

0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.679
<v Speaker 2>fathers feel like they're the second thought or they're the afterthought,

0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:48.119
<v Speaker 2>and that's not nearly the case. It's just that you

0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:48.920
<v Speaker 2>require less.

0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:52.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, let me ask, do fathers feel like they afterthought?

0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Do other people next to us say, why do y'all

0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:55.919
<v Speaker 1>do this.

0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:59.399
<v Speaker 3>To dad's marketing your father's you know you think that's

0:18:59.440 --> 0:18:59.760
<v Speaker 3>what it is.

0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:02.560
<v Speaker 4>I mean, there is a difference with how men and

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:07.399
<v Speaker 4>women are celebrated on those days, like in general. But yo,

0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:11.159
<v Speaker 4>for me personally, I think, don't complicate that day. Yo,

0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:15.439
<v Speaker 4>Like it is my second birthday. Father's Day is literally

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 4>my second That's what it is. That's literally don't complicate it.

0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:22.000
<v Speaker 4>Like if I go to church on that Sunday, fine,

0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:24.800
<v Speaker 4>I come home. Not trying to go nowhere to eat, Nope.

0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:26.760
<v Speaker 4>I just want to sit down on a couch and

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.280
<v Speaker 4>just watch TV. If y'all if this is a day

0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:32.360
<v Speaker 4>I'm celebrated, I don't celebrated. You're not gonna do something.

0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:37.960
<v Speaker 4>You do what you do. Like I don't give some

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.879
<v Speaker 4>cool like I got I got five different mugs for

0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:44.440
<v Speaker 4>Father's Day. I got that. I don't even use them,

0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:46.560
<v Speaker 4>you know what I'm saying? Like one year, one year

0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:50.000
<v Speaker 4>I got like golf clubs. I love that. Would I

0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.760
<v Speaker 4>be okay without those golf clubs. I would absolutely be

0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:56.440
<v Speaker 4>okay with it. Why because I still haven't been to

0:19:56.640 --> 0:20:00.879
<v Speaker 4>damn driving ring, right, So don't overcomplicate my day. Just

0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.040
<v Speaker 4>let me chill man, like this is this is my

0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:03.800
<v Speaker 4>second birthday.

0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:07.080
<v Speaker 2>So I know some moms we're for Mother's Day. Personally,

0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:08.840
<v Speaker 2>I like to be with my children on Mother's Day

0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:10.399
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like the kids look for me like

0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:11.080
<v Speaker 2>it's Mother's Day.

0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:11.920
<v Speaker 4>I won't to be with y'all.

0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:14.240
<v Speaker 2>Right, I know a contingent of moms that are like

0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:17.600
<v Speaker 2>for Mother's Day, send me away, take me away. I

0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:19.600
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be with them, damn kids. I have

0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:21.680
<v Speaker 2>a friend who every year, her husband books her a

0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:24.280
<v Speaker 2>hotel room from Friday night and she does not check

0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:27.119
<v Speaker 2>out until Sunday night because she just wants to be

0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.439
<v Speaker 2>alone to do nothing because she's always having to do something.

0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:32.840
<v Speaker 2>So it depends on the person. You gotta know your

0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:34.719
<v Speaker 2>person and know what they like and what they expect.

0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:36.639
<v Speaker 2>I'll just put it out there, baby, you don't have

0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:38.520
<v Speaker 2>to get me flowers as Mother's Day. I just bought

0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:40.600
<v Speaker 2>my Mother's Day gift.

0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:46.120
<v Speaker 4>Y'all. See, y'all see how y'all see how this happening?

0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:51.000
<v Speaker 4>This go ahead, you what you gave me, whatever you bought,

0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:52.280
<v Speaker 4>Whatever you bought, you can have it.

0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I just bought my Mother's Day gift. Guys, I got

0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:00.600
<v Speaker 2>a purse. I haven't got on in a well purse

0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:02.200
<v Speaker 2>you back. Don't worry about it. You'll see when we

0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:04.480
<v Speaker 2>go upstairs. Just don't check your phone yet. But I

0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:06.119
<v Speaker 2>couldn't make it to the store today because we had

0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:08.879
<v Speaker 2>to record. So just letting you know, just letting you

0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:14.000
<v Speaker 2>do not open your phone right now and making a thing.

0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:16.119
<v Speaker 2>But I'm just letting you know that just saved I

0:21:16.240 --> 0:21:21.119
<v Speaker 2>absolved him of having to go and shout for me. Yo. Today,

0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:24.520
<v Speaker 2>he was just happy.

0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:30.000
<v Speaker 1>The go sit over there.

0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:32.160
<v Speaker 2>What did you see? That's not mine? Okay, that's yours,

0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:32.640
<v Speaker 2>that's your.

0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:35.720
<v Speaker 1>For me.

0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:38.680
<v Speaker 2>No, I said, that was one of the expenses you had.

0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:39.800
<v Speaker 2>That wasn't an expense for me.

0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:42.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh see, there's a bunch of I'm not even gonna

0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:42.760
<v Speaker 1>look at this.

0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:50.080
<v Speaker 2>He's making it a thing. He's you know what I'm saying.

0:21:50.400 --> 0:21:52.480
<v Speaker 2>But in the pursuit of you trying to find the

0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:55.400
<v Speaker 2>perfect gift, as we're talking about the pursuit of perfection,

0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:58.160
<v Speaker 2>I found it for you, and I saved you. The trouble,

0:21:58.240 --> 0:21:59.080
<v Speaker 2>So don't worry about it.

0:21:59.560 --> 0:22:00.600
<v Speaker 1>This is not making.

0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:07.080
<v Speaker 2>It's just one little bag. I haven't brought a bag

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:09.760
<v Speaker 2>in years, y'all. But since working, since is working now?

0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:13.000
<v Speaker 2>This is what I've always been working. But I'm working, y'all.

0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:15.440
<v Speaker 2>Gonna find out soon, I know.

0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:19.040
<v Speaker 7>Cardi B said that she's gonna give her birkeens to

0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:22.840
<v Speaker 7>her daughter. Yeah, well you don't have any daughters, Kadeen.

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:25.720
<v Speaker 2>Are you making a look at this?

0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Were talking about and somehow, somehow on Father's Day, Kadeen

0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:31.760
<v Speaker 1>got a bag and it's gonna pass it down.

0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:37.560
<v Speaker 4>The triple won't be talking about God's triple. She really said,

0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:41.400
<v Speaker 4>you don't get me nothing. She led with, you don't

0:22:41.400 --> 0:22:42.280
<v Speaker 4>got to get me nothing.

0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:44.159
<v Speaker 1>Because I already got her something technical because you got it.

0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:47.320
<v Speaker 2>To day, baby, you did. I saved you the trouble, honey.

0:22:47.520 --> 0:22:48.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you'd like to get.

0:22:48.600 --> 0:22:51.840
<v Speaker 1>More, listen, I don't. I don't have a problem giving

0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:54.000
<v Speaker 1>gifts and they're not for nothing. This actually goes back

0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:56.200
<v Speaker 1>like I'm joking. I really don't care what she getting

0:22:56.240 --> 0:22:59.159
<v Speaker 1>home thing, But this is the point. Kay says what

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:03.439
<v Speaker 1>she wants. Women oftentimes say exactly what they want, show men,

0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:07.520
<v Speaker 1>especially dads, be like, I'm good, just leave me alone,

0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 1>like and enough for nothing. If Kay says your mother's

0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:11.760
<v Speaker 1>that she want to go away, I'm gonna pay for

0:23:11.880 --> 0:23:14.560
<v Speaker 1>her go away and do this right. If I say

0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:16.360
<v Speaker 1>I want to go away for Father's Day, k would

0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.399
<v Speaker 1>definitely be like, yo, leave your pops alone. The thing is,

0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:21.080
<v Speaker 1>pops just normally don't say what they want.

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:25.040
<v Speaker 2>We really don't local guys. We're just trying to rock

0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:26.520
<v Speaker 2>our brain, trying to figure out what it is so

0:23:26.680 --> 0:23:27.600
<v Speaker 2>to make you feel special.

0:23:27.640 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 4>You know you don't got to rock your brain. I

0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:33.640
<v Speaker 4>want cookies and brain and brain. That's all I want.

0:23:33.840 --> 0:23:36.360
<v Speaker 1>And my lion, you're father, right, what do you want?

0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:39.280
<v Speaker 1>I just want somebody to pay attention, to be only me,

0:23:39.480 --> 0:23:41.920
<v Speaker 1>just for the day. And if that's gonna be you,

0:23:42.240 --> 0:23:44.439
<v Speaker 1>then that's what I want. Cookies and brain. Same thing

0:23:44.480 --> 0:23:47.760
<v Speaker 1>for Valentine's Day, right, Sandwich. Why do women get chocolates

0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:50.359
<v Speaker 1>and bracelets and diamonds as for Valentine's Day and we

0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 1>don't get nothing but butt because that's what we asked for.

0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:54.439
<v Speaker 1>I don't want no diamonds, I don't want no cookies.

0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:55.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't want no flowers.

0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:57.920
<v Speaker 7>I don't want to want to go to for Valentine's Day.

0:23:57.960 --> 0:24:01.400
<v Speaker 7>That was something you know, that's not all I want

0:24:01.440 --> 0:24:02.320
<v Speaker 7>to give, don't.

0:24:02.160 --> 0:24:04.800
<v Speaker 5>Because because you're still for Valentine.

0:24:04.840 --> 0:24:05.200
<v Speaker 4>I get it.

0:24:05.400 --> 0:24:06.840
<v Speaker 5>That's that's gonna piss me off.

0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:07.800
<v Speaker 4>That's why I couldn't they.

0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:10.679
<v Speaker 1>Know lesbians because lesbians want to be women. And then

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:14.200
<v Speaker 1>at the same time, Tripple want to funches, right, she

0:24:14.280 --> 0:24:16.920
<v Speaker 1>want toes and tell them bitches, Yo, I'm still a woman.

0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:24.680
<v Speaker 4>You ready. Gift is a superwoman. All yes, she's complex,

0:24:24.720 --> 0:24:25.480
<v Speaker 4>He's super woman.

0:24:25.800 --> 0:24:26.280
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:24:26.520 --> 0:24:26.879
<v Speaker 5>I love it.

0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:28.600
<v Speaker 1>If I could go back and come back as anything,

0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:30.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to go back and come back as a

0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:34.320
<v Speaker 1>black lesbian. You know why. I have my own titties right,

0:24:35.320 --> 0:24:36.600
<v Speaker 1>my own pussy. I can play it with. I can

0:24:36.640 --> 0:24:38.640
<v Speaker 1>play with other people's titties and we talking.

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:40.560
<v Speaker 4>Plus on Valentine's Day.

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:45.080
<v Speaker 5>I get gifts that it is actually the best thing ever.

0:24:48.920 --> 0:24:53.320
<v Speaker 1>See that lesbian privileged. Y'all heard it here first. Triple

0:24:53.320 --> 0:24:55.000
<v Speaker 1>don't be going through nothing in her life. Could you

0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:58.359
<v Speaker 1>imagine that people just die like diagnose lesbianism to like

0:24:58.640 --> 0:25:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Triple just have the perfect life. Couldn't that wouldn't that

0:25:01.040 --> 0:25:03.560
<v Speaker 1>be the most fucked up thing because TRUP will be

0:25:03.600 --> 0:25:04.160
<v Speaker 1>going through shit.

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:06.560
<v Speaker 2>Is it perfect? Let's go on to perfectionist.

0:25:07.520 --> 0:25:08.719
<v Speaker 1>We all talk about perfectionism.

0:25:11.600 --> 0:25:15.159
<v Speaker 4>I'll be leading us down the path of somewhere else's.

0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:16.800
<v Speaker 2>I know that that tends to happen. Do we have

0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:18.960
<v Speaker 2>another app or I forget what we know?

0:25:19.200 --> 0:25:22.040
<v Speaker 5>I wanted this to lead and talking about perfectionism.

0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:25.960
<v Speaker 7>When I was creating the run A show for this episode,

0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:29.840
<v Speaker 7>I was wondering, if de vou ever, it doesn't seem

0:25:29.960 --> 0:25:32.679
<v Speaker 7>like you suffer with perfectionism. It seems like there's something

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:35.359
<v Speaker 7>else where you do things well, but it's not. There's

0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 7>no pressure to do things well. It's just kind of

0:25:37.920 --> 0:25:40.840
<v Speaker 7>like an expectation from yourself. So I wanted to talk

0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:43.240
<v Speaker 7>about I guess you're gonna have to talk to the

0:25:43.280 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 7>rest of us about how perfectionism ruins our lives.

0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:48.680
<v Speaker 1>It does it seriously?

0:25:48.800 --> 0:25:52.480
<v Speaker 4>Does like I hope to God y'all stop doing that.

0:25:53.840 --> 0:25:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Start with our oldest.

0:25:55.800 --> 0:25:57.639
<v Speaker 4>Jackson because Jackson Jackson is just.

0:25:57.680 --> 0:26:00.840
<v Speaker 2>Like and I think the hardest part part of dealing

0:26:00.920 --> 0:26:04.680
<v Speaker 2>with someone who suffers from this pursuit of perfect perfection

0:26:05.040 --> 0:26:08.440
<v Speaker 2>is the the anxiety that they build up and the

0:26:08.680 --> 0:26:12.600
<v Speaker 2>performance anxiety, the nerves. Like, that's something we noticed with Jackson.

0:26:12.640 --> 0:26:14.680
<v Speaker 2>It's like him wanting to do something perfect. There's like

0:26:14.720 --> 0:26:16.040
<v Speaker 2>a frustration that comes with it.

0:26:16.520 --> 0:26:17.040
<v Speaker 5>There's this.

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:21.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's almost as if he talks himself out

0:26:21.200 --> 0:26:23.280
<v Speaker 2>of it sometimes. And that's that's what we have to

0:26:23.359 --> 0:26:25.320
<v Speaker 2>talk came back off the legend. It's like, no, you

0:26:25.480 --> 0:26:27.520
<v Speaker 2>can do this because you've prepared for it. That's why

0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:31.119
<v Speaker 2>we always tell them that the pursuit of perfection.

0:26:31.720 --> 0:26:36.280
<v Speaker 1>Practice practice, practice is not the pursuit of perfection, right,

0:26:36.680 --> 0:26:38.760
<v Speaker 1>practice is the pursuit of the process.

0:26:38.720 --> 0:26:39.600
<v Speaker 4>Right exactly.

0:26:39.880 --> 0:26:41.800
<v Speaker 2>And that's what we try to instill in the voids

0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:43.640
<v Speaker 2>time and and time and again, especially to vour working

0:26:43.680 --> 0:26:46.320
<v Speaker 2>with them closely on sports for example, you know, trying

0:26:46.359 --> 0:26:48.840
<v Speaker 2>to get over anxiety.

0:26:49.040 --> 0:26:50.840
<v Speaker 1>But I changed it because remember it used to be

0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:53.080
<v Speaker 1>now a practice, practice used to it used to be

0:26:53.119 --> 0:26:56.040
<v Speaker 1>practice makes perfect, yeah, right, right, practice was perfect. So

0:26:56.040 --> 0:26:58.160
<v Speaker 1>I used to say that, right, and then Jackson want

0:26:58.160 --> 0:27:00.600
<v Speaker 1>to be perfect perfect. Analogy is to I no longer

0:27:00.680 --> 0:27:03.840
<v Speaker 1>preach perfection. It didn't start with Jackson, started with myself. Right,

0:27:04.200 --> 0:27:07.359
<v Speaker 1>Jackson is playing basketball. First half of the year, Jackson

0:27:07.480 --> 0:27:11.359
<v Speaker 1>is averaging like maybe eleven points. He's only shooting maybe

0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:14.159
<v Speaker 1>four shots a game, so once a quarter he shoots right,

0:27:14.240 --> 0:27:17.040
<v Speaker 1>but he's also scoring at a high percentage. I said, Jackson,

0:27:17.160 --> 0:27:19.880
<v Speaker 1>why are you not shooting? I'm afraid I won't miss

0:27:20.080 --> 0:27:23.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm afraid I won't make it. So then you shoot

0:27:23.400 --> 0:27:26.800
<v Speaker 1>another one. Yeah, but if I missed, then Oh, so

0:27:26.960 --> 0:27:30.000
<v Speaker 1>you think missing any shot in the game means that

0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:31.040
<v Speaker 1>you're not perfect.

0:27:30.760 --> 0:27:31.639
<v Speaker 4>So you don't want to shoot.

0:27:32.440 --> 0:27:35.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but what if your team could use those points? Jackson?

0:27:38.280 --> 0:27:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I said, Yeah, what if you make half and miss half,

0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:45.479
<v Speaker 1>but you still score twenty points? He said, he if

0:27:45.480 --> 0:27:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I scored twenty and our team's gonna win. Yeah, but

0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:49.040
<v Speaker 1>you had to miss half of them to make the twenty.

0:27:49.440 --> 0:27:51.960
<v Speaker 1>And that's when he got it and he realized, like, oh,

0:27:52.640 --> 0:27:55.720
<v Speaker 1>and he said to me, so I miss all the

0:27:55.800 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 1>shots you don't take Exactly, you don't take a shot

0:28:00.840 --> 0:28:03.399
<v Speaker 1>because you fear you won't be perfect. You've missed it.

0:28:03.720 --> 0:28:08.480
<v Speaker 1>So you've automatically disqualified yourself from the opportunity to even

0:28:08.560 --> 0:28:11.080
<v Speaker 1>be great because you avoided it out of the fear

0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:13.479
<v Speaker 1>of perfection. And he really got that out and then

0:28:13.520 --> 0:28:15.200
<v Speaker 1>he was just like, oh, so I don't got to

0:28:15.240 --> 0:28:17.840
<v Speaker 1>be perfect. No, the greatest shoot of all time shoots

0:28:17.840 --> 0:28:20.720
<v Speaker 1>at forty percent from three. That's Steph Curry. The best

0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:24.240
<v Speaker 1>batters in baseball all shoot between two hundred and three hundred,

0:28:24.640 --> 0:28:27.560
<v Speaker 1>which means that they miss way more than they make,

0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:30.080
<v Speaker 1>and those are the greats. And that's when he realized, like, oh,

0:28:30.160 --> 0:28:32.200
<v Speaker 1>so I don't got to chase perfection. Yeah, because perfection

0:28:32.320 --> 0:28:35.600
<v Speaker 1>is untainable. Nobody can always be perfect all the time.

0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:38.080
<v Speaker 2>Then you had Cairo who runs the two hundred, and

0:28:38.240 --> 0:28:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Cairo has figured out in his mind the perfect way

0:28:41.480 --> 0:28:45.480
<v Speaker 2>to pursue this perfect race. So Cairo running the two hundred.

0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:47.760
<v Speaker 2>They just started running track this year. Right at the

0:28:47.840 --> 0:28:50.120
<v Speaker 2>last track me, we were at Kiro's running the two hundred.

0:28:50.720 --> 0:28:54.840
<v Speaker 2>So Cairo gets out the gate, he's running, hits the curve,

0:28:54.960 --> 0:28:56.280
<v Speaker 2>He's at the back of the pack. So me and

0:28:56.360 --> 0:28:58.080
<v Speaker 2>DeValve were like, damn, he's at the back of the pack.

0:28:58.800 --> 0:29:03.400
<v Speaker 2>And then as he hits the straightaway, Cairo literally like

0:29:03.720 --> 0:29:08.480
<v Speaker 2>sonic blows past like five people everybody. They finished first

0:29:09.760 --> 0:29:12.600
<v Speaker 2>and right. So when he came off, he kind of

0:29:12.640 --> 0:29:14.200
<v Speaker 2>smirked and he was just like them, like is that

0:29:14.320 --> 0:29:16.840
<v Speaker 2>your strategy? Like you want to just coast around the

0:29:16.920 --> 0:29:19.120
<v Speaker 2>corner and then like turn it up and he's just like,

0:29:19.360 --> 0:29:21.040
<v Speaker 2>kind of yet, because I know I could once I

0:29:21.160 --> 0:29:23.440
<v Speaker 2>like hit the straightaway and then Deval was like, but bro,

0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:26.360
<v Speaker 2>if you were like hitting it the entire time, your

0:29:26.480 --> 0:29:29.640
<v Speaker 2>time would be faster, because in track it's ultimately you

0:29:29.760 --> 0:29:31.960
<v Speaker 2>against the time and you against your your last time

0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:34.360
<v Speaker 2>trying to get that personal record. But it's funny to

0:29:34.440 --> 0:29:36.760
<v Speaker 2>see how people's brains work differently, and we're noticing that

0:29:36.880 --> 0:29:39.000
<v Speaker 2>with our kids. The way they try to pursue what

0:29:39.080 --> 0:29:41.720
<v Speaker 2>their idea is of perfect is it's always with a

0:29:41.760 --> 0:29:42.880
<v Speaker 2>different process, Right.

0:29:43.440 --> 0:29:47.239
<v Speaker 1>I think your point is super valid because he won

0:29:47.360 --> 0:29:50.400
<v Speaker 1>his heat, but since he won his heat, he thought

0:29:50.400 --> 0:29:52.320
<v Speaker 1>he's gonna get a medal. He didn't get a medal,

0:29:53.200 --> 0:29:54.960
<v Speaker 1>and he didn't get a medal because he finished only

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:58.200
<v Speaker 1>top twenty in times. Now, in his mind, he ran

0:29:58.320 --> 0:30:01.040
<v Speaker 1>his race perfectly to win his heat heat, but he

0:30:01.120 --> 0:30:03.840
<v Speaker 1>still didn't get what he wanted. And that's the whole thing.

0:30:04.440 --> 0:30:07.640
<v Speaker 1>Perfect to you isn't perfect to everybody, which means perfect

0:30:07.720 --> 0:30:10.600
<v Speaker 1>to everybody isn't perfect to you. So if you're facing

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:12.760
<v Speaker 1>your life or living your life saying my life isn't

0:30:12.800 --> 0:30:16.000
<v Speaker 1>perfect to everyone else. It doesn't have to be because

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 1>even when you think you're doing stuff perfect, it's not

0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 1>perfect for everyone.

0:30:19.000 --> 0:30:20.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, what do you guys think is the standard

0:30:20.600 --> 0:30:23.680
<v Speaker 2>of perfection for something in your life? For example, Triple,

0:30:24.640 --> 0:30:28.480
<v Speaker 2>you want to be perfect at something? What has set

0:30:28.560 --> 0:30:32.360
<v Speaker 2>that wants to What do you look at and say

0:30:32.440 --> 0:30:33.520
<v Speaker 2>this would be perfect for me?

0:30:33.760 --> 0:30:36.280
<v Speaker 1>She wants to be a performer Shriple love stand up.

0:30:36.320 --> 0:30:38.000
<v Speaker 1>She wants to be a writer, show someone's to act.

0:30:38.880 --> 0:30:40.920
<v Speaker 1>So what would be the perfect performance?

0:30:41.040 --> 0:30:43.400
<v Speaker 2>What would be like the perfect or the perfect avenue

0:30:43.480 --> 0:30:45.120
<v Speaker 2>to get to that for you that you feel like

0:30:45.200 --> 0:30:49.040
<v Speaker 2>you have not been able to unfold yet, the.

0:30:49.080 --> 0:30:52.960
<v Speaker 5>Perfect avenue to get there? I don't think that I have.

0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:56.680
<v Speaker 7>And this is probably the problem that comes with this

0:30:57.000 --> 0:31:00.840
<v Speaker 7>question of perfectionism, is it self doubt Because I think

0:31:00.880 --> 0:31:05.320
<v Speaker 7>the avenues the doors have been open. I've done almost

0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:08.600
<v Speaker 7>everything that I could think to do to get there.

0:31:09.280 --> 0:31:12.080
<v Speaker 7>But a lot of times when I get there, I'm like,

0:31:12.200 --> 0:31:14.320
<v Speaker 7>oh my god, you know what I'm saying. I get scared,

0:31:14.360 --> 0:31:17.000
<v Speaker 7>I get nervous, I fuck up somehow, or I moved

0:31:17.040 --> 0:31:18.560
<v Speaker 7>to the next thing, or I think I'm not good

0:31:18.680 --> 0:31:22.480
<v Speaker 7>enough to be here, and I don't keep going. Yeah,

0:31:24.560 --> 0:31:28.160
<v Speaker 7>I think that that has been my biggest hang up

0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:30.480
<v Speaker 7>in the last couple of years. It's just being like,

0:31:31.280 --> 0:31:32.960
<v Speaker 7>I'm not funny enough to be a comic.

0:31:33.320 --> 0:31:36.360
<v Speaker 5>I can't do this. And then I just had this

0:31:37.480 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 5>situation happen.

0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:42.840
<v Speaker 7>I made a video Mimicky and Gail King, and I

0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:44.640
<v Speaker 7>made the video and then I was like, I'm not

0:31:44.640 --> 0:31:46.080
<v Speaker 7>about to post this and I'm fucking funny.

0:31:46.600 --> 0:31:50.000
<v Speaker 5>And then I was like, here I go talking myself

0:31:50.000 --> 0:31:51.840
<v Speaker 5>out of it. So I just posted it anyway. I'm like,

0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:54.680
<v Speaker 5>if it flops, it flops whatever, I don't care. And

0:31:54.840 --> 0:31:55.520
<v Speaker 5>it didn't flop.

0:31:55.680 --> 0:31:58.040
<v Speaker 2>It like it did very well.

0:31:58.360 --> 0:32:02.600
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and I was surprised. Yeah, it was funny. I

0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:02.920
<v Speaker 4>was so.

0:32:03.200 --> 0:32:07.320
<v Speaker 7>I was extremely surprised, and I was like, okay, Like,

0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:11.200
<v Speaker 7>so my best friend, who's the smartest, most ambitious person

0:32:11.240 --> 0:32:16.400
<v Speaker 7>that I've that I know. She finished her NBA this

0:32:16.560 --> 0:32:17.000
<v Speaker 7>year and she.

0:32:18.480 --> 0:32:18.960
<v Speaker 1>Smarter than me.

0:32:19.120 --> 0:32:22.640
<v Speaker 7>She chosen to give the commencement speech, and in the speech,

0:32:22.680 --> 0:32:26.040
<v Speaker 7>she talks about Steph Curry's three point average and his

0:32:26.280 --> 0:32:29.000
<v Speaker 7>mindset is that the next one is going on no

0:32:29.160 --> 0:32:32.959
<v Speaker 7>matter like how you do. The point is to get

0:32:33.040 --> 0:32:35.560
<v Speaker 7>better every time. Absolutely the point is to keep trying

0:32:35.680 --> 0:32:37.560
<v Speaker 7>so that the next one does go in so that

0:32:37.680 --> 0:32:39.640
<v Speaker 7>you do have a better shot if you keep going.

0:32:39.760 --> 0:32:41.200
<v Speaker 7>So I'll be trying to I'll be trying to keep

0:32:41.280 --> 0:32:43.760
<v Speaker 7>that in mind. But I think for me, I think

0:32:45.040 --> 0:32:47.880
<v Speaker 7>getting on stage, being able to perform. If I get

0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:50.000
<v Speaker 7>on stage, if I do the thing, I know that

0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:52.680
<v Speaker 7>I'm gonna do it well, So really it doesn't matter

0:32:52.960 --> 0:32:53.720
<v Speaker 7>how I get there.

0:32:53.800 --> 0:32:57.120
<v Speaker 5>I think it's just getting there mentally.

0:32:58.440 --> 0:32:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Battle for you.

0:32:59.320 --> 0:33:03.320
<v Speaker 1>I think that people struggle with not being accepted right,

0:33:03.760 --> 0:33:07.320
<v Speaker 1>like for example, Tripple's thing was I created this, I

0:33:07.360 --> 0:33:09.880
<v Speaker 1>think it's funny, but what if it flops? That whole

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:12.360
<v Speaker 1>what if it flops is also another word for what

0:33:12.480 --> 0:33:13.360
<v Speaker 1>if people don't think?

0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:16.840
<v Speaker 2>It's other people to validate exactly it.

0:33:18.000 --> 0:33:21.600
<v Speaker 1>Especially as a creative, you're constantly seeking validation to know

0:33:21.720 --> 0:33:24.840
<v Speaker 1>that your creativity is going to be appreciated. And it's

0:33:25.000 --> 0:33:27.520
<v Speaker 1>very hard if you're an artist. If people don't appreciate

0:33:27.600 --> 0:33:31.480
<v Speaker 1>your work, it doesn't matter if it's paint, music, film, TV.

0:33:31.680 --> 0:33:34.120
<v Speaker 1>If people don't appreciate your work, you start to feel worthless.

0:33:34.520 --> 0:33:36.960
<v Speaker 1>So I understand that from artists, for example, like Josh

0:33:37.000 --> 0:33:39.360
<v Speaker 1>and Matt, they both do pictures and video.

0:33:39.480 --> 0:33:39.600
<v Speaker 4>Right.

0:33:39.840 --> 0:33:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I remember saying to Josh, like, y'all say, yo, Josh,

0:33:42.080 --> 0:33:44.960
<v Speaker 1>you got mad pictures that you don't ever post, and

0:33:45.000 --> 0:33:47.360
<v Speaker 1>he'd be like, nah, it's just it's not it's not

0:33:47.520 --> 0:33:49.080
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, you see, you get about to give

0:33:49.120 --> 0:33:51.800
<v Speaker 1>me a whole bunch of reasons why this picture isn't perfect.

0:33:52.320 --> 0:33:54.200
<v Speaker 1>But a picture doesn't have to be perfect to be

0:33:54.280 --> 0:33:57.840
<v Speaker 1>posted and hit. For example, remember when you said, I'm

0:33:57.840 --> 0:34:02.920
<v Speaker 1>gonna tell y'all how I just be throwing against the wall, Like, Okay,

0:34:03.600 --> 0:34:06.720
<v Speaker 1>I think this is funny. I'm gonna try I throw

0:34:06.760 --> 0:34:09.680
<v Speaker 1>it against the wall. It don't hit. I use that

0:34:09.800 --> 0:34:12.520
<v Speaker 1>opportunity to see why it don't hit, to learn and

0:34:12.680 --> 0:34:15.800
<v Speaker 1>understand from it. There's never no loss. A video that

0:34:15.920 --> 0:34:18.040
<v Speaker 1>don't hit, a picture that don't hit, a joke that

0:34:18.160 --> 0:34:20.920
<v Speaker 1>don't hit, is always just more information for you to

0:34:20.960 --> 0:34:23.279
<v Speaker 1>get better at what you do. It's not an end,

0:34:23.920 --> 0:34:26.040
<v Speaker 1>and that's what happens. People think if a video don't hit,

0:34:26.080 --> 0:34:28.520
<v Speaker 1>a picture don't hit, it's the end. It's still always

0:34:28.600 --> 0:34:30.959
<v Speaker 1>the beginning. Even when you have a picture of video

0:34:31.040 --> 0:34:34.120
<v Speaker 1>that hits, now you've got the information of why it hits.

0:34:34.200 --> 0:34:36.719
<v Speaker 1>It's just the beginning, because now you have to duplicate

0:34:36.800 --> 0:34:37.360
<v Speaker 1>that success.

0:34:37.480 --> 0:34:41.560
<v Speaker 2>That's essentially what we did with social media, essentially devals strategy.

0:34:41.680 --> 0:34:44.640
<v Speaker 2>He said, We're gonna just keep posting, and if it

0:34:44.680 --> 0:34:46.759
<v Speaker 2>didn't hit, that's fine, because all it takes is for

0:34:46.880 --> 0:34:49.920
<v Speaker 2>one thing to hit, and then you have a catalog

0:34:50.080 --> 0:34:51.840
<v Speaker 2>of things for people to go and look at. That

0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:53.760
<v Speaker 2>happens all the time. I may see something come across

0:34:53.840 --> 0:34:56.560
<v Speaker 2>my page if I'm aimlessly scrolling one day, and I'm like, oh,

0:34:56.640 --> 0:34:58.520
<v Speaker 2>this is funny, and then I'll go to that person's

0:34:58.560 --> 0:35:02.080
<v Speaker 2>page and then look for other funny videos that caught

0:35:02.120 --> 0:35:04.320
<v Speaker 2>my attention or caught other people's attention, and before you

0:35:04.400 --> 0:35:06.440
<v Speaker 2>know it, you might have gained somebody who follows you

0:35:06.560 --> 0:35:09.800
<v Speaker 2>now because they see something there. But you also have

0:35:09.920 --> 0:35:12.800
<v Speaker 2>to understand that you're not for everybody you know who creative.

0:35:13.800 --> 0:35:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Barack Obama his first New York Times best selling book.

0:35:17.080 --> 0:35:18.120
<v Speaker 4>People think it was his book.

0:35:18.160 --> 0:35:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Obama his first New York Times best selling book was

0:35:20.960 --> 0:35:23.399
<v Speaker 1>when he was running for president. I think he went

0:35:23.480 --> 0:35:26.880
<v Speaker 1>up to go speak in Chicago. Oprah was there, and

0:35:27.040 --> 0:35:29.120
<v Speaker 1>Oprah pretty much was just like, guys, this.

0:35:29.280 --> 0:35:32.319
<v Speaker 7>Is going to be at the Democratic National Convention yeah.

0:35:32.360 --> 0:35:34.200
<v Speaker 7>I remember we watched it in high school and we

0:35:34.280 --> 0:35:35.960
<v Speaker 7>were like, dad, he's going to be the president.

0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:38.759
<v Speaker 1>Yes, right now. He had two books that he had

0:35:38.760 --> 0:35:40.920
<v Speaker 1>already published before that when he was in college, and

0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:43.759
<v Speaker 1>the book sold like seven copies. He said he got

0:35:43.800 --> 0:35:47.080
<v Speaker 1>a phone call randomly from the publisher and which just like, hey,

0:35:47.120 --> 0:35:48.920
<v Speaker 1>we have a check for you, and he's like what

0:35:49.120 --> 0:35:50.799
<v Speaker 1>he was just like, you know, your books were flying

0:35:50.840 --> 0:35:54.200
<v Speaker 1>off the sales ever since the Democratic National Convention. Then

0:35:54.239 --> 0:35:56.279
<v Speaker 1>a couple of weeks later, both of his books became

0:35:56.360 --> 0:35:59.200
<v Speaker 1>New York Times bestsellers, but those were years after he

0:35:59.280 --> 0:36:01.640
<v Speaker 1>first released him So when he first released them, they

0:36:01.640 --> 0:36:05.120
<v Speaker 1>were considered flops. Nobody cared. Then two years go by,

0:36:05.600 --> 0:36:08.080
<v Speaker 1>people listen to him speak and then read his book

0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:10.840
<v Speaker 1>and go back like the catalog you talked about, and realize,

0:36:10.880 --> 0:36:13.720
<v Speaker 1>this man is brilliant. That's why you can't knock yourself

0:36:13.800 --> 0:36:16.759
<v Speaker 1>if something doesn't happen the way you want it to

0:36:16.840 --> 0:36:18.319
<v Speaker 1>happen in that time.

0:36:18.440 --> 0:36:20.560
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes it takes people to catch on. And this is

0:36:20.640 --> 0:36:21.520
<v Speaker 4>not for Nobody's.

0:36:22.200 --> 0:36:25.839
<v Speaker 1>Chris Brown, who is in Everybody did the song Residuals,

0:36:27.600 --> 0:36:30.600
<v Speaker 1>But I said, so, when did that song come out?

0:36:31.200 --> 0:36:31.600
<v Speaker 2>Years ago?

0:36:32.320 --> 0:36:34.080
<v Speaker 1>And it just started popping last year.

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:36.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like two, it came out.

0:36:35.880 --> 0:36:36.319
<v Speaker 1>Two or three.

0:36:36.560 --> 0:36:38.080
<v Speaker 2>No, it came out like maybe five or six years.

0:36:38.080 --> 0:36:39.440
<v Speaker 2>Are started popping like two years ago.

0:36:41.320 --> 0:36:43.319
<v Speaker 1>The fact it was like how does this song pop down?

0:36:43.760 --> 0:36:45.560
<v Speaker 1>When it came out, And when it first came out,

0:36:45.640 --> 0:36:48.560
<v Speaker 1>nobody was checking for it, so people consider it a flop.

0:36:49.680 --> 0:36:51.480
<v Speaker 1>To me, there's no such thing as a flop. It's

0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:54.600
<v Speaker 1>just people have to start paying attention. The only way

0:36:54.640 --> 0:36:57.320
<v Speaker 1>you get them to pay attention is consistency. But you

0:36:57.440 --> 0:37:00.760
<v Speaker 1>can't be consistent if you're a perfectionist and keep stopping

0:37:01.080 --> 0:37:04.160
<v Speaker 1>because you don't think what you're putting out is perfect

0:37:04.280 --> 0:37:05.400
<v Speaker 1>and that's ultimately the thing.

0:37:05.719 --> 0:37:08.200
<v Speaker 2>Or if you're a procrastinator like I tended to be

0:37:08.320 --> 0:37:10.719
<v Speaker 2>for a large portion of my life and probably still

0:37:10.760 --> 0:37:12.680
<v Speaker 2>to this day. And I realized, like I said in

0:37:12.719 --> 0:37:16.920
<v Speaker 2>my sound by earlier, that I will sometimes mask putting

0:37:17.000 --> 0:37:19.719
<v Speaker 2>things off as me trying to find the perfect way

0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:22.399
<v Speaker 2>to do it when I'm realizing that I'm just really

0:37:22.480 --> 0:37:23.160
<v Speaker 2>not doing the work.

0:37:23.520 --> 0:37:27.640
<v Speaker 5>Well, you know what I was reading on I think

0:37:27.680 --> 0:37:30.440
<v Speaker 5>it was like psych Central that.

0:37:30.920 --> 0:37:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Come on doctor mell me.

0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:40.320
<v Speaker 7>As a neuro divergent person, myself I'm always trying to

0:37:40.360 --> 0:37:42.120
<v Speaker 7>figure out what the hell is going on?

0:37:43.760 --> 0:37:44.919
<v Speaker 5>Get crossed? They said.

0:37:45.080 --> 0:37:50.040
<v Speaker 7>Procrastination can be a personality trait for a perfectionist. It's

0:37:50.120 --> 0:37:56.440
<v Speaker 7>known as maladaptive perfectionism. So usually a perfectionist will try

0:37:56.480 --> 0:37:58.359
<v Speaker 7>to get things right, and they'll work on something until

0:37:58.360 --> 0:38:00.279
<v Speaker 7>they get it right because they have a fear of

0:38:01.239 --> 0:38:06.360
<v Speaker 7>judgment sometimes and procrastination is the same thing, but maladaptive

0:38:06.480 --> 0:38:08.879
<v Speaker 7>means that you are unable to do the thing you're

0:38:08.880 --> 0:38:12.040
<v Speaker 7>supposed to be doing because the perfectionism makes you shut down.

0:38:12.600 --> 0:38:16.879
<v Speaker 7>So perfectionists might have a you know, take more time,

0:38:16.960 --> 0:38:20.440
<v Speaker 7>but they get it done, whereas if your perfectionism is maladaptive,

0:38:20.520 --> 0:38:21.200
<v Speaker 7>you're not getting it.

0:38:21.520 --> 0:38:22.200
<v Speaker 2>You never get it.

0:38:22.480 --> 0:38:22.840
<v Speaker 5>That's me.

0:38:25.040 --> 0:38:26.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't even want to repeat the word because I

0:38:26.840 --> 0:38:29.280
<v Speaker 2>feel like when you repeat the word, it like saying

0:38:29.400 --> 0:38:30.640
<v Speaker 2>that's what it is. Yeah, I don't want to I

0:38:30.680 --> 0:38:32.120
<v Speaker 2>don't want to say that that's what I am, what

0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:32.759
<v Speaker 2>I'm worting, But you.

0:38:32.880 --> 0:38:37.799
<v Speaker 7>Know what I think, sometimes it is helpful to lean

0:38:37.880 --> 0:38:40.600
<v Speaker 7>on something like perfectionism, because perfectionism will take you to

0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:43.759
<v Speaker 7>the root of what it is that's hurting you or

0:38:43.920 --> 0:38:45.479
<v Speaker 7>what it is that's causing it, Like fear.

0:38:45.840 --> 0:38:48.600
<v Speaker 5>Do you fear judgment? Is it something that happened to

0:38:48.640 --> 0:38:50.239
<v Speaker 5>your childhood? You can go back and.

0:38:50.320 --> 0:38:53.000
<v Speaker 7>Understand why you're a perfectionist and then you can heal

0:38:53.080 --> 0:38:54.920
<v Speaker 7>that thing. But if you say something like, oh, I'm

0:38:54.960 --> 0:38:58.600
<v Speaker 7>a procrastinator, that's kind of negatively talking about yourself, like

0:38:58.719 --> 0:38:59.920
<v Speaker 7>I just am lazy.

0:39:00.239 --> 0:39:01.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm just not able to do the thing.

0:39:02.440 --> 0:39:04.640
<v Speaker 7>You are able, but there's something blocking you, so so

0:39:05.200 --> 0:39:08.719
<v Speaker 7>labeling it as perfectionism might help you to get to

0:39:08.760 --> 0:39:09.680
<v Speaker 7>the root of the block.

0:39:10.080 --> 0:39:13.879
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Devil's Advocate. I do think some people be full

0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:18.520
<v Speaker 1>of shit. You know, people going on job interviewers right right,

0:39:18.560 --> 0:39:20.239
<v Speaker 1>and what's the first thing they say, tell me something

0:39:20.280 --> 0:39:23.239
<v Speaker 1>about yourself. I'm a perfection I'm a perfectionist. So that's

0:39:23.280 --> 0:39:25.719
<v Speaker 1>the first thing people say. And it's like almost like

0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:28.560
<v Speaker 1>when people say, you know, I have anxiety. It's almost

0:39:28.600 --> 0:39:31.000
<v Speaker 1>like it's a word that's so overused now that people

0:39:31.120 --> 0:39:33.359
<v Speaker 1>just throw it into their vernacular that seem like they're

0:39:33.400 --> 0:39:36.880
<v Speaker 1>self aware, when realistically they just scared. And a lot

0:39:36.920 --> 0:39:38.960
<v Speaker 1>of times I feel like this whole perfectionism thing like

0:39:39.000 --> 0:39:42.640
<v Speaker 1>you just described is a byproduct of something that's really

0:39:42.760 --> 0:39:45.600
<v Speaker 1>going on, and they use the perfectionist thing. So I

0:39:45.680 --> 0:39:47.960
<v Speaker 1>agree with that, Like, I didn't think about it until

0:39:47.960 --> 0:39:49.520
<v Speaker 1>you said it like that. How many people just say

0:39:49.520 --> 0:39:51.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm a perfectionist because it sounds better than saying I'm

0:39:51.800 --> 0:39:53.600
<v Speaker 1>scared as a motherfucker that this ain't gonna work.

0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:54.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm not.

0:39:54.680 --> 0:39:57.839
<v Speaker 5>I don't consider myself a perfectionist. I am scared as fuck.

0:39:58.080 --> 0:40:02.399
<v Speaker 7>I have debilitating anxiety whenever I think about, especially things

0:40:02.440 --> 0:40:04.719
<v Speaker 7>that are visible, Like I can go on stage, you know,

0:40:04.800 --> 0:40:07.120
<v Speaker 7>and do this, do the thing, but like posting something

0:40:07.160 --> 0:40:09.680
<v Speaker 7>on the internet, I'd be like, oh, I'll be ready.

0:40:09.480 --> 0:40:11.319
<v Speaker 2>To throw which is so crazy because most people their

0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:13.160
<v Speaker 2>biggest for the number one fear except for people that's

0:40:13.200 --> 0:40:14.919
<v Speaker 2>like public speaking or being in front of a crowd

0:40:15.000 --> 0:40:16.800
<v Speaker 2>or an audience and speaking, which is something that I

0:40:16.840 --> 0:40:18.719
<v Speaker 2>feel like most of us can do pretty naturally in

0:40:18.800 --> 0:40:19.680
<v Speaker 2>this room, but.

0:40:21.600 --> 0:40:23.600
<v Speaker 4>Public speaking, but I know Matt wouldn't. But I'm like,

0:40:24.480 --> 0:40:27.920
<v Speaker 4>I don't think it's the act of doing it is

0:40:28.000 --> 0:40:30.920
<v Speaker 4>not the issue. It's the result of it, Like how

0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:34.040
<v Speaker 4>is this going to be received after? For me personally,

0:40:34.080 --> 0:40:36.000
<v Speaker 4>Like how is it going to be received after? So

0:40:36.520 --> 0:40:38.160
<v Speaker 4>I have no problem doing the work, I have no

0:40:38.280 --> 0:40:40.799
<v Speaker 4>problem taking the photos. I have no problem making a video.

0:40:41.160 --> 0:40:44.000
<v Speaker 4>It's like afterwards and part of part my thing is

0:40:44.480 --> 0:40:48.920
<v Speaker 4>what I'm conscious of is well it doesn't look like

0:40:49.200 --> 0:40:51.840
<v Speaker 4>this person's especially when I'm in a foreign space.

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:53.160
<v Speaker 1>You think you want validation.

0:40:54.400 --> 0:40:56.480
<v Speaker 4>It could be a form of validation, but it could

0:40:56.480 --> 0:40:58.959
<v Speaker 4>be a form of me trying to validate my own self.

0:40:59.120 --> 0:40:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I get that.

0:41:00.200 --> 0:41:02.440
<v Speaker 4>People, Then you want you want to valiance. I want

0:41:02.480 --> 0:41:04.480
<v Speaker 4>to feel like it's okay, right, Like I want to

0:41:04.480 --> 0:41:06.960
<v Speaker 4>say like, nah, this measures up. But the thing, like

0:41:07.000 --> 0:41:09.360
<v Speaker 4>we talked about with Jack's like, bro, you you got

0:41:09.480 --> 0:41:11.560
<v Speaker 4>to get more reps in like you got to be

0:41:11.719 --> 0:41:14.120
<v Speaker 4>able to do way more than you're doing right now.

0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:16.000
<v Speaker 4>This is me talking to myself. I gotta do way

0:41:16.040 --> 0:41:19.200
<v Speaker 4>more I'm doing right now, So like, stop thinking about

0:41:19.719 --> 0:41:23.600
<v Speaker 4>how this will be received and just do something right.

0:41:23.960 --> 0:41:27.360
<v Speaker 4>But like for me, it's it's perfectionism. It's almost like

0:41:27.440 --> 0:41:30.200
<v Speaker 4>you just keep putting roadblocks in your own way. That's

0:41:30.239 --> 0:41:32.759
<v Speaker 4>what I feel like you keep putting for me as

0:41:33.120 --> 0:41:37.400
<v Speaker 4>a personally like desperately wants to be a film director. Right,

0:41:38.120 --> 0:41:40.720
<v Speaker 4>It's it first started off like all right, I'm gonna

0:41:40.760 --> 0:41:43.160
<v Speaker 4>go to take classes. Then when you get these classes,

0:41:43.200 --> 0:41:45.680
<v Speaker 4>you're like, all right, this is not that easy, like okay,

0:41:45.760 --> 0:41:48.600
<v Speaker 4>I need something to make right. And then you're like, okay,

0:41:48.760 --> 0:41:51.239
<v Speaker 4>let me start writing. And then you start writing and

0:41:51.320 --> 0:41:54.040
<v Speaker 4>it's just like this is not good, like I'm not

0:41:54.120 --> 0:41:56.200
<v Speaker 4>writing good enough. So I'm like, now you're wasting time

0:41:56.239 --> 0:41:58.080
<v Speaker 4>trying to figure out how to write something when that's

0:41:58.120 --> 0:41:59.959
<v Speaker 4>not your goal. The goal is not trying to write.

0:42:00.000 --> 0:42:01.800
<v Speaker 4>Your goal is try to make something. So it's like

0:42:02.400 --> 0:42:07.680
<v Speaker 4>constantly putting things that you gotta hurdle over trip over

0:42:07.880 --> 0:42:09.799
<v Speaker 4>most of the time, and then try to like once

0:42:09.840 --> 0:42:12.160
<v Speaker 4>you trip, you gotta find another hurdle, and you're putting

0:42:12.160 --> 0:42:12.840
<v Speaker 4>those things in front of you.

0:42:13.239 --> 0:42:14.759
<v Speaker 1>This is why I feel like people need to start

0:42:14.840 --> 0:42:18.320
<v Speaker 1>understanding the process of being great. People think the process

0:42:18.400 --> 0:42:20.680
<v Speaker 1>of being great just happens like someone just woke up

0:42:20.760 --> 0:42:23.239
<v Speaker 1>and was great and then they started practicing and they

0:42:23.360 --> 0:42:26.480
<v Speaker 1>made all the shots. That's not how greatness works. This

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:29.279
<v Speaker 1>is literally how greatness works. I had never returned the

0:42:29.360 --> 0:42:30.960
<v Speaker 1>punt in college. That's not what I did.

0:42:31.400 --> 0:42:31.759
<v Speaker 4>A punt.

0:42:31.800 --> 0:42:34.200
<v Speaker 1>For people who don't know, is when the punter kicks

0:42:34.239 --> 0:42:36.759
<v Speaker 1>the ball off, the shit goes like ten stories even

0:42:36.840 --> 0:42:38.920
<v Speaker 1>higher than that in the air. It's a little tiny skittle.

0:42:38.960 --> 0:42:40.360
<v Speaker 1>You got to catch it in front of all the

0:42:40.400 --> 0:42:43.320
<v Speaker 1>people in the arena, plus eleven dudes trying to smack

0:42:43.360 --> 0:42:47.160
<v Speaker 1>you in the mouth. Right I'm in practice, Coach says,

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:49.520
<v Speaker 1>you have to catch fifty punts after practice if I'm

0:42:49.560 --> 0:42:52.400
<v Speaker 1>going to even allow you to catch a punt in

0:42:52.480 --> 0:42:55.120
<v Speaker 1>the game. So the whole week of practice goes through,

0:42:55.200 --> 0:42:57.760
<v Speaker 1>and me and Chuck Priefer we go back after practice

0:42:57.800 --> 0:43:00.680
<v Speaker 1>and they kick these punts and through every aspect of

0:43:00.760 --> 0:43:02.760
<v Speaker 1>the punt. He made it more difficult. He started dumping

0:43:02.800 --> 0:43:05.160
<v Speaker 1>the balls and water. He started putting the stuff under

0:43:05.200 --> 0:43:07.320
<v Speaker 1>my arms to make it difficult. Out of the fifty

0:43:07.400 --> 0:43:10.640
<v Speaker 1>punts the first day, I only caught like ten. And

0:43:10.760 --> 0:43:12.600
<v Speaker 1>this is what I think people need to understand about

0:43:12.600 --> 0:43:15.000
<v Speaker 1>the process. I caught the ten out of the fifty,

0:43:15.080 --> 0:43:17.680
<v Speaker 1>which is like twenty percent of what it is. But

0:43:17.840 --> 0:43:20.200
<v Speaker 1>he was excited about me going through the journey of

0:43:20.360 --> 0:43:21.560
<v Speaker 1>constantly trying to catch it.

0:43:22.120 --> 0:43:25.600
<v Speaker 4>Right after doing it for three weeks.

0:43:26.080 --> 0:43:28.680
<v Speaker 1>I was starting to catch fifty out of fifty. But

0:43:28.840 --> 0:43:31.879
<v Speaker 1>the problem is people don't ever want to go through

0:43:31.960 --> 0:43:35.359
<v Speaker 1>that aspect of being terrible at something while they learn.

0:43:35.440 --> 0:43:37.560
<v Speaker 1>And I was freaking horrible the same way I was

0:43:37.640 --> 0:43:41.239
<v Speaker 1>horrible at making videos, I was horrible at color commentary,

0:43:41.320 --> 0:43:43.880
<v Speaker 1>I was horrible at football, I was horrible at basketball,

0:43:43.960 --> 0:43:46.080
<v Speaker 1>I was horrible at acting, I was horrible at writing.

0:43:46.440 --> 0:43:49.800
<v Speaker 1>When you start anything, you just be horrible. And we

0:43:49.920 --> 0:43:52.160
<v Speaker 1>all have to get used to the fact that you're

0:43:52.280 --> 0:43:56.200
<v Speaker 1>going to be horrible until you take the necessary time

0:43:56.760 --> 0:43:59.480
<v Speaker 1>to be miserable for a certain a lot of time

0:44:00.120 --> 0:44:03.680
<v Speaker 1>be great. And if people start realizing that, they'll do

0:44:03.800 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 1>like I do and start throwing shit against the wall. Hey,

0:44:06.400 --> 0:44:08.000
<v Speaker 1>the last time I tried to catch this point, the

0:44:08.000 --> 0:44:09.680
<v Speaker 1>shit hit me right in my face.

0:44:09.560 --> 0:44:13.480
<v Speaker 4>Mass bounced up. I could at that point been like, I'm.

0:44:13.320 --> 0:44:15.840
<v Speaker 1>Not doing this. Look at how Chuck Chuck Prifa was

0:44:15.920 --> 0:44:20.160
<v Speaker 1>laughing laughing at first, you saying you and be an

0:44:20.239 --> 0:44:23.840
<v Speaker 1>NFL punp returner, send your black ass back to Brooklyn.

0:44:24.160 --> 0:44:26.360
<v Speaker 1>This is an old white man telling me this. I

0:44:26.440 --> 0:44:28.319
<v Speaker 1>had to ignore all that and let them shits bounce

0:44:28.400 --> 0:44:31.080
<v Speaker 1>off my face forty out of fifty times until I

0:44:31.160 --> 0:44:33.120
<v Speaker 1>returned my first punt in the NFL. And what happened.

0:44:33.120 --> 0:44:35.359
<v Speaker 1>I almost return that shit for a touchdown. Go back

0:44:35.400 --> 0:44:38.000
<v Speaker 1>to two thousand and six, Deval's first punt return against

0:44:38.000 --> 0:44:40.000
<v Speaker 1>the Chicago Bears. I returned that bitch on the two.

0:44:40.239 --> 0:44:42.520
<v Speaker 1>You ain't got that shit back to the fifty and

0:44:42.600 --> 0:44:44.799
<v Speaker 1>then that was my first punt return, and everybody kept

0:44:44.840 --> 0:44:46.759
<v Speaker 1>saying that that point, Oh, you're gonna be great. He's

0:44:46.800 --> 0:44:49.719
<v Speaker 1>a natural. This is first punt return. Yeah, y'all didn't

0:44:49.760 --> 0:44:52.400
<v Speaker 1>know that for three weeks. Them shits was bouncing off

0:44:52.520 --> 0:44:53.800
<v Speaker 1>my face mass in practice.

0:44:54.400 --> 0:44:56.680
<v Speaker 2>And if I know anything about Daval the chip he

0:44:56.760 --> 0:44:59.360
<v Speaker 2>had on his shoulder after Teller, Everyone tells if you

0:44:59.440 --> 0:45:00.880
<v Speaker 2>want Devalu to do something, telling me.

0:45:00.960 --> 0:45:02.640
<v Speaker 1>Can't tell me I can't do it, tell me can't

0:45:02.680 --> 0:45:02.840
<v Speaker 1>do it.

0:45:03.160 --> 0:45:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Fact, I can relate to you in the process of it. So, Josh,

0:45:07.080 --> 0:45:09.880
<v Speaker 2>when you were talking about having to write and then

0:45:09.960 --> 0:45:11.239
<v Speaker 2>having to do this, and you look at them as

0:45:11.320 --> 0:45:13.200
<v Speaker 2>hurdles to try to get you to be a director, right,

0:45:14.520 --> 0:45:16.759
<v Speaker 2>I instantly thought about, that's probably just a part of

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:18.920
<v Speaker 2>the process to get you to understand the scope of

0:45:19.000 --> 0:45:20.160
<v Speaker 2>work of what a director does.

0:45:20.400 --> 0:45:20.520
<v Speaker 4>Right.

0:45:21.280 --> 0:45:23.920
<v Speaker 2>And I think about my recent project that I did

0:45:24.080 --> 0:45:26.320
<v Speaker 2>over at TPS, Divorced SSS make sure I'll watch on

0:45:26.440 --> 0:45:31.719
<v Speaker 2>b ET plus. Preparing for this particular role, I was

0:45:31.840 --> 0:45:34.920
<v Speaker 2>enjoying the process of it, because I've always wanted this

0:45:35.840 --> 0:45:38.360
<v Speaker 2>for myself, right, went to school for it, all of that.

0:45:38.480 --> 0:45:40.520
<v Speaker 2>So I had an opportunity to do the acting now

0:45:41.000 --> 0:45:46.120
<v Speaker 2>in a very prestigious role. When I say prestigious series

0:45:46.160 --> 0:45:51.200
<v Speaker 2>regularly everyone on the show, right and baby, let me

0:45:51.280 --> 0:45:56.600
<v Speaker 2>tell you when perfectionism, the pursuit of that, the pressure,

0:45:57.640 --> 0:45:59.959
<v Speaker 2>the process, all of the things were starting to fall

0:46:00.200 --> 0:46:04.160
<v Speaker 2>on my lap and imposter syndrome wanted to sneak in

0:46:04.239 --> 0:46:07.239
<v Speaker 2>every single time that I sat down and read those

0:46:07.280 --> 0:46:12.360
<v Speaker 2>scripts and had to prepare. So to your point, the

0:46:12.480 --> 0:46:16.840
<v Speaker 2>process of preparing for filming and the hours that I

0:46:16.960 --> 0:46:21.840
<v Speaker 2>put in to my scripts with my coach, developing Geneva

0:46:23.120 --> 0:46:26.120
<v Speaker 2>in the gym, changing my diet, like everything that I

0:46:26.239 --> 0:46:29.880
<v Speaker 2>did to prepare for that, which Devou thought I was

0:46:29.960 --> 0:46:32.279
<v Speaker 2>obsessive over. At some point he thought I was doing

0:46:32.360 --> 0:46:35.080
<v Speaker 2>the most. He was like, it shouldn't require all of this.

0:46:35.320 --> 0:46:37.759
<v Speaker 4>I legit was like, are you okay? Like I was like,

0:46:37.880 --> 0:46:40.800
<v Speaker 4>this is not not realizing this was her first opportunity

0:46:40.800 --> 0:46:42.000
<v Speaker 4>to do that. I'm like, I do this.

0:46:42.480 --> 0:46:45.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, You're nine seasons in and fourth two shows, four

0:46:45.719 --> 0:46:47.680
<v Speaker 2>seasons in. This is my first time in the like

0:46:47.800 --> 0:46:51.120
<v Speaker 2>imagine me getting this opportunity and fumbling it as you

0:46:51.200 --> 0:46:54.920
<v Speaker 2>were just thinking of oportunities as Devou's wife missed the TPS.

0:46:55.200 --> 0:46:57.080
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying. So I had all of

0:46:57.120 --> 0:46:59.839
<v Speaker 2>these things on my shoulders, and every time something crap

0:47:00.160 --> 0:47:02.680
<v Speaker 2>up to my this is how I knew that perfectionism

0:47:02.760 --> 0:47:05.520
<v Speaker 2>and procrastination, those are things that I throw in my way.

0:47:05.800 --> 0:47:09.920
<v Speaker 2>It's the process of preparing for it. So I prepared

0:47:10.960 --> 0:47:14.680
<v Speaker 2>so much, and I was so obsessive and I was

0:47:14.760 --> 0:47:17.120
<v Speaker 2>so drastic with it that when I got to set

0:47:17.640 --> 0:47:21.080
<v Speaker 2>for those two weeks, I was Jeneva. I was just

0:47:21.200 --> 0:47:23.920
<v Speaker 2>her like I wasn't Kadeen. I was so prepared, and

0:47:24.040 --> 0:47:26.759
<v Speaker 2>that just made me realize, like all the shit I've

0:47:26.840 --> 0:47:30.400
<v Speaker 2>told myself over the years, the self doubt, the imposter syndrome,

0:47:30.440 --> 0:47:33.000
<v Speaker 2>all of that, that's just the enemy. That's just the depth,

0:47:33.040 --> 0:47:34.880
<v Speaker 2>that's whoever you want to say, it is creeping in.

0:47:35.000 --> 0:47:37.279
<v Speaker 2>Because I was, I was capable. I was capable of

0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:40.120
<v Speaker 2>the whole time. All I had to do was the work,

0:47:40.520 --> 0:47:43.640
<v Speaker 2>and I think most people just shy away from committing

0:47:44.000 --> 0:47:46.360
<v Speaker 2>to doing the work and doing the process.

0:47:46.480 --> 0:47:48.839
<v Speaker 1>There's no way you can avoid you can't cheat that, Yeah,

0:47:48.840 --> 0:47:52.600
<v Speaker 1>you can't avoid the fear or the nerves that come

0:47:52.680 --> 0:47:55.160
<v Speaker 1>with something new if you don't practice it. You have

0:47:55.239 --> 0:47:56.960
<v Speaker 1>to like, this is what I told Jackson said, if

0:47:57.000 --> 0:47:58.920
<v Speaker 1>you really Because Jackson was like that, I'd be nervous

0:47:58.960 --> 0:48:02.040
<v Speaker 1>before every game. A stomach be bothered me, and he's

0:48:02.120 --> 0:48:03.520
<v Speaker 1>just like, I don't know how to shake it. I

0:48:03.600 --> 0:48:05.800
<v Speaker 1>was like, well, the only reason why you're nervous is

0:48:05.880 --> 0:48:08.840
<v Speaker 1>because the unknown. You don't know what's gonna happen in

0:48:08.920 --> 0:48:10.400
<v Speaker 1>this game, do you. He's like, nah, I say, you

0:48:10.440 --> 0:48:12.080
<v Speaker 1>know why you don't know what's gonna happen in this game.

0:48:12.280 --> 0:48:15.000
<v Speaker 1>When you get in practice, you don't spend time in

0:48:15.080 --> 0:48:18.239
<v Speaker 1>practice throwing shit against the wall going full speed trying

0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:20.200
<v Speaker 1>to just func shit up to see what it is.

0:48:20.440 --> 0:48:23.239
<v Speaker 1>You spend time in practice trying to be perfect so

0:48:23.400 --> 0:48:24.760
<v Speaker 1>that coach can remember you perfect.

0:48:24.840 --> 0:48:24.920
<v Speaker 4>Right.

0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:27.279
<v Speaker 1>He was just like, yeah, I said, that's the wrong way.

0:48:27.640 --> 0:48:29.160
<v Speaker 1>The only reason why I knew I wasn't going to

0:48:29.239 --> 0:48:30.600
<v Speaker 1>drop the ball in the game is because I had

0:48:30.640 --> 0:48:32.880
<v Speaker 1>dropped it so many times in practice that by the

0:48:32.960 --> 0:48:34.919
<v Speaker 1>time the ball came to me, I had already knew

0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:37.279
<v Speaker 1>what was going to happen. And he was just like,

0:48:38.440 --> 0:48:40.480
<v Speaker 1>and I watched Kate do the same thing. Kate was

0:48:40.560 --> 0:48:42.800
<v Speaker 1>so nervous about the emotional scenes, right, and this is

0:48:42.840 --> 0:48:46.480
<v Speaker 1>important for acting. People always say, how you able to

0:48:46.560 --> 0:48:49.880
<v Speaker 1>just cry on Q? How are you able to be angry?

0:48:49.920 --> 0:48:50.120
<v Speaker 7>How you?

0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.080
<v Speaker 1>And I said, well, first thing is you don't just

0:48:52.200 --> 0:48:54.800
<v Speaker 1>cry on Q. That's not what happens. You become the person.

0:48:55.239 --> 0:48:58.759
<v Speaker 1>How do you become the person? You constantly rep the

0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:01.440
<v Speaker 1>emotions the person goes through. When you're going through the

0:49:01.560 --> 0:49:04.840
<v Speaker 1>lines before you get to the screen, like before it

0:49:04.920 --> 0:49:06.600
<v Speaker 1>even gets that you're going to rehearsal, you're going through

0:49:06.640 --> 0:49:08.799
<v Speaker 1>is you become this person? Then when you get there,

0:49:08.880 --> 0:49:12.279
<v Speaker 1>when they say action, there is no thinking about Now

0:49:12.400 --> 0:49:15.759
<v Speaker 1>I have to cry. Your person says the line, You

0:49:15.880 --> 0:49:18.000
<v Speaker 1>say the line back. Y'all live in the space, and

0:49:18.080 --> 0:49:22.319
<v Speaker 1>when you go watch, it's, oh shit, he cried. It's

0:49:22.400 --> 0:49:26.000
<v Speaker 1>the same thing with photography. Writing a joke, there's never

0:49:26.120 --> 0:49:28.480
<v Speaker 1>gonna be a I wrote this perfect joke on the

0:49:28.560 --> 0:49:32.120
<v Speaker 1>spot trouble It's gonna be I worked it. I wrote

0:49:32.160 --> 0:49:35.080
<v Speaker 1>this joke. I practiced this joke in front of a

0:49:35.160 --> 0:49:39.399
<v Speaker 1>bunch of audiences thousands of times before the Netflix special came.

0:49:39.800 --> 0:49:42.399
<v Speaker 1>So I knew the joke was gonna hit, and that's

0:49:42.440 --> 0:49:44.640
<v Speaker 1>what people miss. You know what I'm saying. At first,

0:49:44.680 --> 0:49:46.920
<v Speaker 1>It's just like I want my joke to hit on Netflix.

0:49:47.680 --> 0:49:50.640
<v Speaker 1>What did your joke flop and the laugh factory a

0:49:50.719 --> 0:49:53.360
<v Speaker 1>thousand times? Because if it flopped at the lave factory,

0:49:53.640 --> 0:49:56.040
<v Speaker 1>then you'll know how to adjust it to make it flip.

0:49:56.080 --> 0:49:58.719
<v Speaker 1>And that's what I want people to like take away

0:49:58.760 --> 0:50:01.479
<v Speaker 1>when they listen to this. Your afectionism is probably coming

0:50:01.520 --> 0:50:05.000
<v Speaker 1>from your lack of approach to consistently doing the thing

0:50:05.120 --> 0:50:08.040
<v Speaker 1>you say you love thousands of times to become great

0:50:08.080 --> 0:50:08.320
<v Speaker 1>at it.

0:50:08.760 --> 0:50:10.759
<v Speaker 3>But I'll push back on that because he says I'm

0:50:10.760 --> 0:50:13.160
<v Speaker 3>a perfectionist. My wife probably said the same thing. I

0:50:13.760 --> 0:50:16.600
<v Speaker 3>wholeheartedly disagree because I go through the process. I'll take

0:50:16.640 --> 0:50:19.160
<v Speaker 3>pictures every day knowing nobody gonna see this picture, but

0:50:19.200 --> 0:50:20.719
<v Speaker 3>I know that pictures for me because I need to

0:50:20.719 --> 0:50:21.320
<v Speaker 3>put up shots.

0:50:21.640 --> 0:50:22.600
<v Speaker 1>So what do you what do you think?

0:50:22.680 --> 0:50:26.000
<v Speaker 4>It's not your issue? What's my issuer? I think you

0:50:26.200 --> 0:50:30.759
<v Speaker 4>also create herders for yourself as well. Because we talked

0:50:30.760 --> 0:50:34.960
<v Speaker 4>about you doing the gallery, and we talked about and

0:50:35.040 --> 0:50:36.880
<v Speaker 4>you talked about all the things that you had to

0:50:36.960 --> 0:50:39.440
<v Speaker 4>do to get to the place where not even a gallery.

0:50:40.000 --> 0:50:43.040
<v Speaker 4>You talked about selling your prints online, and you talked about, well,

0:50:43.080 --> 0:50:45.440
<v Speaker 4>I don't I don't know how to do the site

0:50:45.440 --> 0:50:47.560
<v Speaker 4>gotta be like this, The site gotta do that. You

0:50:47.600 --> 0:50:49.960
<v Speaker 4>gotta do the site got to do a damn thing.

0:50:50.040 --> 0:50:52.719
<v Speaker 4>All that's for me, person for you. Correct, And that's

0:50:52.760 --> 0:50:55.200
<v Speaker 4>the reason why you currently are not selling these prints.

0:50:55.360 --> 0:50:56.880
<v Speaker 4>By the way, you got this point, not that you

0:50:57.080 --> 0:51:01.160
<v Speaker 4>has phenomenal photos over that we know that go back

0:51:01.200 --> 0:51:05.279
<v Speaker 4>to so we understand no exactly right, though Matthew has

0:51:05.440 --> 0:51:10.399
<v Speaker 4>phenomenal photos, photos that would look amazing in your home.

0:51:10.520 --> 0:51:14.440
<v Speaker 4>Hell yeah, Matthew wants to sell you those photos. The

0:51:14.560 --> 0:51:19.000
<v Speaker 4>reason why he hasn't sold those photos is because he

0:51:19.280 --> 0:51:23.120
<v Speaker 4>keeps putting those hurdles in his own way. That's the

0:51:23.160 --> 0:51:25.040
<v Speaker 4>reason why that's not in this house right now on

0:51:25.200 --> 0:51:27.799
<v Speaker 4>the walls, because you're putting those hurtles in a way.

0:51:27.840 --> 0:51:32.000
<v Speaker 4>So I think taking a pictures point, you got a point,

0:51:32.040 --> 0:51:33.480
<v Speaker 4>because I agree with the point.

0:51:33.800 --> 0:51:37.120
<v Speaker 1>Why why some point you created the website yet for

0:51:37.160 --> 0:51:38.360
<v Speaker 1>people to buy them photos.

0:51:38.760 --> 0:51:41.319
<v Speaker 4>His thing is he's not a perfectionist because he's still

0:51:41.360 --> 0:51:43.400
<v Speaker 4>doing the reps, he's still taking a picture because.

0:51:43.160 --> 0:51:44.680
<v Speaker 3>I'm still in the process of building the project to

0:51:44.719 --> 0:51:46.080
<v Speaker 3>be what I wanted to be before I even put

0:51:46.080 --> 0:51:46.640
<v Speaker 3>it out to people.

0:51:46.719 --> 0:51:50.040
<v Speaker 1>That's my point, and that's and that's what he's that's perfectionism.

0:51:50.200 --> 0:51:51.320
<v Speaker 4>It hasn't I don't.

0:51:51.200 --> 0:51:54.440
<v Speaker 3>Even know that is even to a point of imperfect

0:51:54.480 --> 0:51:56.440
<v Speaker 3>I just don't want to incomplete project out there where

0:51:56.440 --> 0:51:57.600
<v Speaker 3>you go, there you see his life.

0:51:58.160 --> 0:52:00.960
<v Speaker 4>That's that's the thing. That's that's the things it has

0:52:01.040 --> 0:52:03.000
<v Speaker 4>to get, and that's the thing. It has to get

0:52:03.040 --> 0:52:05.600
<v Speaker 4>to a certain point until I feel it's ready for

0:52:05.719 --> 0:52:06.440
<v Speaker 4>public assumption.

0:52:07.000 --> 0:52:10.080
<v Speaker 3>And I don't care about the public, so I'm ready

0:52:10.120 --> 0:52:11.759
<v Speaker 3>to put it out. That's when I don't put it out.

0:52:12.040 --> 0:52:12.719
<v Speaker 4>I can put it out.

0:52:12.719 --> 0:52:14.080
<v Speaker 3>I don't care if the public don't like it or

0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:16.920
<v Speaker 3>not if I'm not comfortable with it, because there's many

0:52:17.080 --> 0:52:20.239
<v Speaker 3>times where and I'll go back to and I'm not

0:52:20.320 --> 0:52:22.120
<v Speaker 3>comfortable with how it looks for me as an artist.

0:52:22.239 --> 0:52:24.160
<v Speaker 4>That's what I want to go and change it. I'd

0:52:24.200 --> 0:52:25.759
<v Speaker 4>rather not put it out in a rush way. I

0:52:25.880 --> 0:52:28.560
<v Speaker 4>rather wait as a as a as a fellow artist.

0:52:28.640 --> 0:52:32.200
<v Speaker 4>I completely understand what you mean, right, you want to

0:52:32.200 --> 0:52:35.280
<v Speaker 4>be comfortable, to be able to stand on this product.

0:52:35.719 --> 0:52:38.279
<v Speaker 4>Once it's out that there's like, I have my hands off.

0:52:38.360 --> 0:52:39.960
<v Speaker 4>It's going to do what it does. If it does well,

0:52:40.239 --> 0:52:42.080
<v Speaker 4>does well, it doesn't. I put my all into it.

0:52:42.560 --> 0:52:46.279
<v Speaker 4>But there's a school of thought that says, put it

0:52:46.360 --> 0:52:49.319
<v Speaker 4>out there regardless right now, because you don't know you're

0:52:49.760 --> 0:52:52.040
<v Speaker 4>I would say, looking at it, you have a vision

0:52:52.120 --> 0:52:54.000
<v Speaker 4>of how this thing is supposed to look once it's done.

0:52:54.680 --> 0:52:57.920
<v Speaker 4>The reality is, you know, making movies, right, you know,

0:52:58.080 --> 0:53:01.239
<v Speaker 4>doing TV. Sometimes you get the script, it's one way

0:53:01.920 --> 0:53:05.120
<v Speaker 4>you feel it, it's one way. The finished product is

0:53:05.160 --> 0:53:11.320
<v Speaker 4>a completely different way, completely right. So I say that

0:53:13.080 --> 0:53:15.680
<v Speaker 4>because I think you should just start with the process.

0:53:15.760 --> 0:53:17.640
<v Speaker 4>This is your first time.

0:53:18.800 --> 0:53:20.959
<v Speaker 3>We second because I put it out before, people didn't

0:53:20.960 --> 0:53:22.279
<v Speaker 3>receive it, and I left it out there and I

0:53:22.360 --> 0:53:24.080
<v Speaker 3>took it down because I wanted to go and revamp

0:53:24.120 --> 0:53:24.399
<v Speaker 3>it now.

0:53:24.920 --> 0:53:25.960
<v Speaker 4>That's why it's not back up.

0:53:26.200 --> 0:53:27.400
<v Speaker 3>My print shop has been up.

0:53:27.520 --> 0:53:29.239
<v Speaker 4>Okay, can I just jump in?

0:53:29.440 --> 0:53:30.920
<v Speaker 1>I want to point out something with perfection.

0:53:31.000 --> 0:53:32.440
<v Speaker 3>But I'm here, I'm not being defended.

0:53:33.080 --> 0:53:34.840
<v Speaker 4>I want to I want to point out something with perfection.

0:53:36.520 --> 0:53:38.600
<v Speaker 1>I pointed out to Josh that he does that, and

0:53:38.719 --> 0:53:41.359
<v Speaker 1>Josh's first response was, no, I don't I don't care

0:53:41.440 --> 0:53:43.680
<v Speaker 1>what other people think. I didn't put it out because

0:53:43.840 --> 0:53:46.439
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't happy about it. That's what Josh said. Josh

0:53:46.640 --> 0:53:48.560
<v Speaker 1>just said to you the same thing I said to him.

0:53:48.920 --> 0:53:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Your first response is, it ain't about other people. I

0:53:51.920 --> 0:53:54.800
<v Speaker 1>don't like the way it's out. That's automatically typically a

0:53:54.920 --> 0:53:58.520
<v Speaker 1>response for someone who's using perfectionism as a defense to

0:53:58.600 --> 0:54:00.880
<v Speaker 1>not put their product out. Y'all both just did the

0:54:00.960 --> 0:54:03.440
<v Speaker 1>same thing, And while Josh was trying to help you

0:54:03.560 --> 0:54:05.480
<v Speaker 1>do it, he was doing the same thing because he

0:54:05.560 --> 0:54:08.040
<v Speaker 1>said the same response to me. I said, Josh, you

0:54:08.239 --> 0:54:10.239
<v Speaker 1>tend to wait to see if other people will receive it.

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:12.800
<v Speaker 1>He said, no, I don't care how other people receive it.

0:54:12.840 --> 0:54:15.520
<v Speaker 1>It's me, the same way you just saying it's me.

0:54:16.080 --> 0:54:20.759
<v Speaker 1>That's what perfectionism is. You're using yourself as the reason

0:54:20.840 --> 0:54:22.959
<v Speaker 1>why you can't put your thing out. And the reason

0:54:23.040 --> 0:54:25.239
<v Speaker 1>why you can stand on that is because can't no

0:54:25.320 --> 0:54:27.920
<v Speaker 1>one else tell you nothing about you. So that's the

0:54:28.080 --> 0:54:30.200
<v Speaker 1>ultimate defense. It ain't about other people, it's about me.

0:54:30.719 --> 0:54:32.759
<v Speaker 1>So when people say it's about us, about you, now,

0:54:32.800 --> 0:54:35.120
<v Speaker 1>you're like, I win, that's why I put it out. No,

0:54:35.640 --> 0:54:37.520
<v Speaker 1>that's why you need to put it out because, like

0:54:37.600 --> 0:54:40.160
<v Speaker 1>I said before, if people didn't buy it, use that

0:54:40.239 --> 0:54:40.840
<v Speaker 1>as a lesson.

0:54:41.000 --> 0:54:41.680
<v Speaker 4>Let me see why.

0:54:42.160 --> 0:54:44.239
<v Speaker 1>Let me not not put it out again. Let me

0:54:44.320 --> 0:54:46.280
<v Speaker 1>see why and what can I adjust correct?

0:54:46.440 --> 0:54:48.279
<v Speaker 3>And that was the reason why I took it. I'm like,

0:54:48.480 --> 0:54:50.480
<v Speaker 3>I see how this looks. I didn't like it in

0:54:50.520 --> 0:54:52.759
<v Speaker 3>the first place, but I tried it. Let me take it,

0:54:52.920 --> 0:54:55.359
<v Speaker 3>let me go back, let me revamp this. I feel

0:54:55.400 --> 0:54:57.919
<v Speaker 3>like now when it's out, y'all gonna love it because

0:54:57.960 --> 0:54:59.759
<v Speaker 3>I revamped it. And then if y'all don't cool, it's

0:54:59.760 --> 0:55:01.600
<v Speaker 3>gonna be out there. I don't feel like it's out

0:55:01.600 --> 0:55:03.000
<v Speaker 3>of place now where I need to take it down.

0:55:03.200 --> 0:55:04.879
<v Speaker 3>I feel like I've gotten the project to a place

0:55:05.000 --> 0:55:06.520
<v Speaker 3>where I could keep adding to it. At this point

0:55:06.680 --> 0:55:08.799
<v Speaker 3>before it looked like an incomplete message to me as

0:55:08.840 --> 0:55:09.280
<v Speaker 3>an artist?

0:55:09.719 --> 0:55:10.480
<v Speaker 1>What's the time on you?

0:55:12.000 --> 0:55:13.719
<v Speaker 3>By the time this is out, y'all, y'all would be

0:55:13.719 --> 0:55:14.960
<v Speaker 3>able to buy prints, I guarantee.

0:55:15.560 --> 0:55:17.400
<v Speaker 2>So do you have photos in your possession right now

0:55:17.440 --> 0:55:19.680
<v Speaker 2>that you feel like this is the perfect photo. I've

0:55:19.800 --> 0:55:21.480
<v Speaker 2>done all that I needed to do in terms of

0:55:21.719 --> 0:55:24.279
<v Speaker 2>edit whatnot, and I can put this on I said, okay,

0:55:24.800 --> 0:55:26.600
<v Speaker 2>put them up, absolutely and it's.

0:55:26.480 --> 0:55:27.160
<v Speaker 4>Not the pictures.

0:55:27.880 --> 0:55:30.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't think the issues the pictures because I went

0:55:30.719 --> 0:55:33.239
<v Speaker 1>to I seen the pictures. It's not the picture who

0:55:33.360 --> 0:55:35.239
<v Speaker 1>I said, I've seen. Like I said the same thing

0:55:35.280 --> 0:55:38.200
<v Speaker 1>to him at his wedding. Wedding, I said, and this

0:55:38.320 --> 0:55:40.279
<v Speaker 1>is the truth, man, you know you my man, I said, Yo,

0:55:40.880 --> 0:55:42.480
<v Speaker 1>what are these pictures that he's like, I'm working on

0:55:42.719 --> 0:55:45.000
<v Speaker 1>And that was your wedding was a year ago, and

0:55:45.080 --> 0:55:47.400
<v Speaker 1>he was like, I'm working on the gallery. It's been

0:55:47.480 --> 0:55:50.479
<v Speaker 1>over a year now. So now it's like at some point,

0:55:50.640 --> 0:55:52.840
<v Speaker 1>just like I did with Trouble, you got to stop

0:55:52.920 --> 0:55:53.480
<v Speaker 1>working on it.

0:55:53.760 --> 0:55:55.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'll admit to that, you know, because you you

0:55:56.000 --> 0:55:58.040
<v Speaker 3>definitely said that. You said the same thing when I said,

0:55:58.239 --> 0:56:03.160
<v Speaker 3>and maybe it's just me again. But when you say gallery,

0:56:03.280 --> 0:56:05.640
<v Speaker 3>I push back because I'm thinking about public space where

0:56:05.640 --> 0:56:07.600
<v Speaker 3>I could bring people in. Y'all can see it on

0:56:07.760 --> 0:56:09.960
<v Speaker 3>the wall. The print shop is an issue of my

0:56:10.040 --> 0:56:11.480
<v Speaker 3>own that should have been up a long time ago,

0:56:12.040 --> 0:56:13.319
<v Speaker 3>and I need to get that fixed.

0:56:13.360 --> 0:56:13.720
<v Speaker 4>The gallery.

0:56:13.760 --> 0:56:16.200
<v Speaker 3>On another hand, I also don't want to waste the

0:56:16.239 --> 0:56:18.080
<v Speaker 3>money to put out it to do a gallery and

0:56:18.360 --> 0:56:23.040
<v Speaker 3>five people show up. Personally, I feel like I'm yeah,

0:56:24.120 --> 0:56:25.480
<v Speaker 3>monetarily and don't make sense.

0:56:26.960 --> 0:56:31.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't bro I don't have camps where around the

0:56:31.440 --> 0:56:34.920
<v Speaker 1>whole city where three people came up to six camps.

0:56:35.440 --> 0:56:37.919
<v Speaker 1>Three kids came to six camps around the city. Remember

0:56:38.000 --> 0:56:40.720
<v Speaker 1>we was doing them camps and them three kids was family.

0:56:40.840 --> 0:56:43.280
<v Speaker 1>It was my cousin God, another one of my uncles,

0:56:43.360 --> 0:56:44.960
<v Speaker 1>one of my coaches, nephews.

0:56:45.440 --> 0:56:47.840
<v Speaker 4>It shit hurts and I never have to do what

0:56:48.040 --> 0:56:53.200
<v Speaker 4>you came. I think I think that that we should

0:56:53.200 --> 0:56:58.239
<v Speaker 4>talk about, uh that depending on the position you're in financially,

0:56:59.080 --> 0:57:02.439
<v Speaker 4>uh or any any space in your life that also

0:57:02.520 --> 0:57:06.160
<v Speaker 4>plays a uh the place of a role in how

0:57:06.280 --> 0:57:10.000
<v Speaker 4>you approach things. And your back is against the absolute

0:57:10.000 --> 0:57:13.000
<v Speaker 4>against the wall like yours was probably at that time, Yeah,

0:57:13.000 --> 0:57:15.680
<v Speaker 4>at that time with the cams in my back, it's

0:57:15.760 --> 0:57:19.160
<v Speaker 4>more it's probably different from that at this point against right.

0:57:19.400 --> 0:57:21.000
<v Speaker 1>He's trying to you absolutely like that.

0:57:23.800 --> 0:57:27.480
<v Speaker 4>And that and that talks to your hustle. For me personally,

0:57:27.520 --> 0:57:30.000
<v Speaker 4>I know my back is in against the wall as

0:57:30.160 --> 0:57:34.280
<v Speaker 4>much as it could it could be. That's why the

0:57:34.360 --> 0:57:35.800
<v Speaker 4>firing on my ass is not what it is.

0:57:36.120 --> 0:57:36.280
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:57:36.480 --> 0:57:41.400
<v Speaker 4>Like when you have when you have external forces forcing

0:57:41.480 --> 0:57:44.440
<v Speaker 4>you or pushing you in this direction because you need it, right,

0:57:44.560 --> 0:57:47.960
<v Speaker 4>that is something that you can't deny that that pushes

0:57:48.000 --> 0:57:51.720
<v Speaker 4>people out of perfectionism perfectionism and into a space of necessity.

0:57:51.760 --> 0:57:53.840
<v Speaker 1>So check this out. So what you pretty much said

0:57:53.880 --> 0:57:59.800
<v Speaker 1>is that socio economic uh details can pretty much hunt.

0:58:00.320 --> 0:58:02.360
<v Speaker 1>Let you know, like, because if you comfortable, you're like,

0:58:02.880 --> 0:58:05.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't got a four stage year. But if you

0:58:05.520 --> 0:58:07.960
<v Speaker 1>back against the wall, that's a good point. Think of

0:58:08.000 --> 0:58:09.760
<v Speaker 1>the most comfortable people won't take chance.

0:58:09.840 --> 0:58:12.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, think about success stories though. Whenever you see people

0:58:12.440 --> 0:58:15.840
<v Speaker 2>at the top of whatever their industry is, usually they

0:58:15.920 --> 0:58:20.160
<v Speaker 2>have a struggle story behind it. Where I was living

0:58:20.200 --> 0:58:22.720
<v Speaker 2>out my car, I was working five jobs, I was

0:58:22.960 --> 0:58:26.480
<v Speaker 2>and the site out of that need for you know,

0:58:26.760 --> 0:58:29.000
<v Speaker 2>moving forward in life, your back's against the wall. You're

0:58:29.000 --> 0:58:30.880
<v Speaker 2>doing everything that you have to do the hustle, and

0:58:30.960 --> 0:58:33.080
<v Speaker 2>eventually you make it there because the fire is under

0:58:33.120 --> 0:58:33.480
<v Speaker 2>your tail.

0:58:34.040 --> 0:58:35.240
<v Speaker 4>So this what I think, This what I think.

0:58:35.200 --> 0:58:37.280
<v Speaker 1>Y'all should do. Everybody over there, just give me all

0:58:37.360 --> 0:58:39.440
<v Speaker 1>y'all money. So y'all could be broke. So it's not

0:58:39.600 --> 0:58:43.800
<v Speaker 1>that y'all broke. Y'all could be struggling and dreams. Maybe

0:58:44.080 --> 0:58:44.680
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying.

0:58:44.720 --> 0:58:47.520
<v Speaker 4>Whatever money you get for everybody in the next six weeks,

0:58:48.800 --> 0:58:52.040
<v Speaker 4>I will say this, you have to look at your circumstances.

0:58:52.600 --> 0:58:56.680
<v Speaker 4>I had this like crazy eye opening, uh epiphany.

0:58:57.560 --> 0:58:59.240
<v Speaker 2>This sounds moment of is it?

0:58:59.400 --> 0:59:01.760
<v Speaker 4>It does two nights ago ahead and I'm not giving

0:59:01.760 --> 0:59:05.200
<v Speaker 4>the story, but I'll keep it. But I had this

0:59:05.320 --> 0:59:08.320
<v Speaker 4>epiphany about my circumstance and what I want to do,

0:59:08.880 --> 0:59:11.400
<v Speaker 4>and it was just like you almost have to put

0:59:11.400 --> 0:59:15.720
<v Speaker 4>in perspective. I'm not a millionaire, like I am not

0:59:15.880 --> 0:59:19.880
<v Speaker 4>a millionaire, so logistically, like for me personally, my back

0:59:20.040 --> 0:59:23.040
<v Speaker 4>is against the wall. Right, I can't take a month

0:59:23.120 --> 0:59:24.480
<v Speaker 4>off if I want to. I want to get to

0:59:24.520 --> 0:59:26.320
<v Speaker 4>the point where I could say, lie, I want to

0:59:26.360 --> 0:59:27.919
<v Speaker 4>take the summer off. I don't want to do nothing

0:59:27.960 --> 0:59:30.160
<v Speaker 4>for Junior July, and I want to go. I want

0:59:30.160 --> 0:59:33.440
<v Speaker 4>to live in Jamaica for two whole months. I want that, right,

0:59:34.760 --> 0:59:37.520
<v Speaker 4>And because I want that, I have to be able

0:59:37.600 --> 0:59:40.360
<v Speaker 4>to make myself uncomfortable about what I'm doing right now.

0:59:40.840 --> 0:59:43.240
<v Speaker 4>And I think that's that's where I'm at. It's like

0:59:43.760 --> 0:59:47.760
<v Speaker 4>the uncomfortability isn't there enough to push you? And that's

0:59:47.800 --> 0:59:50.880
<v Speaker 4>where that that that perfectionism is sort of like a crutch.

0:59:51.640 --> 0:59:54.800
<v Speaker 1>You're just good though, because you sound like a like

0:59:54.880 --> 0:59:57.400
<v Speaker 1>a coach now, because coaches will tell you that, you

0:59:57.480 --> 0:59:59.520
<v Speaker 1>know what your problem is, you too fucking comfortable on

0:59:59.560 --> 1:00:01.960
<v Speaker 1>this team. You need to be uncomfortable. Then they bene you,

1:00:02.440 --> 1:00:03.360
<v Speaker 1>you understand.

1:00:03.080 --> 1:00:06.320
<v Speaker 2>You like like a mind game. Essentially, it is a

1:00:06.400 --> 1:00:06.840
<v Speaker 2>mind game.

1:00:07.000 --> 1:00:09.720
<v Speaker 4>Most people people comfortable bro even when they broke. They

1:00:09.800 --> 1:00:11.840
<v Speaker 4>just comfortable, and that's why they can't do other things.

1:00:13.520 --> 1:00:15.200
<v Speaker 1>She just blew like that. Shit really just blew my

1:00:15.280 --> 1:00:15.920
<v Speaker 1>mind thinking about it.

1:00:16.040 --> 1:00:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Now, I got to pay business.

1:00:17.680 --> 1:00:23.400
<v Speaker 1>We do, gotta pay man, paypills, pay bills, come back all.

1:00:22.480 --> 1:00:24.200
<v Speaker 2>Right, all right, we gonna face some bills and come back. Okay,

1:00:24.320 --> 1:00:26.880
<v Speaker 2>as we talked about cutting everybody's salary, let's go face

1:00:26.920 --> 1:00:29.480
<v Speaker 2>some buildings. We'll do the listener letter, but will hold

1:00:29.520 --> 1:00:31.480
<v Speaker 2>your thoughts. We'll round it out in the moment of truth.

1:00:31.600 --> 1:00:31.800
<v Speaker 4>Deal.

1:00:45.200 --> 1:00:47.400
<v Speaker 2>All right, and we're back. We're gonna dive into listening letters.

1:00:47.440 --> 1:00:49.840
<v Speaker 2>As I hear the kiddos her home from school now.

1:00:50.200 --> 1:00:52.720
<v Speaker 1>About to come down at some point, somebody won't.

1:00:52.560 --> 1:00:54.640
<v Speaker 2>Come to somebody gonna come down here. But let's jump

1:00:54.720 --> 1:00:57.520
<v Speaker 2>into it. Hey, de Valen Kadeen, I'm a new listener

1:00:57.600 --> 1:01:00.880
<v Speaker 2>for about a month and I love it. Here congratulates welcome.

1:01:01.360 --> 1:01:03.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm a single, twenty six year old who has no

1:01:03.480 --> 1:01:05.880
<v Speaker 2>trust in men, but I do wish to change that.

1:01:06.480 --> 1:01:08.800
<v Speaker 2>In my childhood I had an inconsistent father with a

1:01:08.920 --> 1:01:11.320
<v Speaker 2>mother who handled everything. It taught me to be very

1:01:11.400 --> 1:01:14.880
<v Speaker 2>independent and not to rely on anyone. During college, I

1:01:14.960 --> 1:01:19.240
<v Speaker 2>experienced sexual trauma with strengthened my mistrust. I do want

1:01:19.360 --> 1:01:22.440
<v Speaker 2>to eventually have a healthy black love relationship, even though

1:01:22.520 --> 1:01:24.840
<v Speaker 2>I never grew up seeing a strong black male figure

1:01:24.880 --> 1:01:27.920
<v Speaker 2>in my life. Here are my questions, Deval, What do

1:01:28.080 --> 1:01:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I do to place trust in men? So when mister

1:01:30.640 --> 1:01:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Wright comes along, I'm prepared. Kadeen, how did you learn

1:01:33.680 --> 1:01:36.360
<v Speaker 2>to lose control for Devo to handle things in times

1:01:36.400 --> 1:01:39.280
<v Speaker 2>where you weren't confident? Ps, Devo, I love your character

1:01:39.400 --> 1:01:40.120
<v Speaker 2>owned sisters.

1:01:41.080 --> 1:01:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. First and foremost, I understand why

1:01:43.960 --> 1:01:47.360
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't trust men. You had a father who was inconsistent,

1:01:47.840 --> 1:01:52.000
<v Speaker 1>like most people get their idea of what the opposing

1:01:52.040 --> 1:01:54.800
<v Speaker 1>sex supposed to be by being a parent. So when

1:01:54.840 --> 1:01:56.840
<v Speaker 1>you look at our demographic of people and you think

1:01:56.880 --> 1:01:59.200
<v Speaker 1>about mass incarceration and the things they've done to our

1:01:59.280 --> 1:02:02.800
<v Speaker 1>people over the past fifty years, a lot of young

1:02:02.880 --> 1:02:05.280
<v Speaker 1>people men and women grew up without their father, especially

1:02:05.280 --> 1:02:07.040
<v Speaker 1>if they grew up in an urban area. So to

1:02:07.160 --> 1:02:09.360
<v Speaker 1>hearing young black women or black men say they don't

1:02:09.680 --> 1:02:13.360
<v Speaker 1>have a trusting male figure in their life has become

1:02:13.440 --> 1:02:16.080
<v Speaker 1>something I'm used to. So hearing this story. Remember my

1:02:16.160 --> 1:02:20.560
<v Speaker 1>track girls from Brooklyn, most of them were all single moms.

1:02:20.800 --> 1:02:23.040
<v Speaker 1>What came from single moms? But I understand where her

1:02:23.040 --> 1:02:26.320
<v Speaker 1>trust lack of trust comes from. Then the sexual trauma. Right,

1:02:27.120 --> 1:02:30.400
<v Speaker 1>she asked, what you did to be able to let

1:02:30.480 --> 1:02:32.920
<v Speaker 1>me in? I think she's going to have to do

1:02:33.040 --> 1:02:34.880
<v Speaker 1>the work to heal herself and find a way to

1:02:34.960 --> 1:02:38.640
<v Speaker 1>become more vulnerable and open. Two men, because every man

1:02:38.880 --> 1:02:41.240
<v Speaker 1>isn't going to be the person who assaulted you or

1:02:41.360 --> 1:02:44.480
<v Speaker 1>your father, right, but there still are men out there

1:02:44.480 --> 1:02:46.160
<v Speaker 1>who are just like them. So you have to learn

1:02:46.240 --> 1:02:48.920
<v Speaker 1>how to use discernment and see those red flags from

1:02:48.960 --> 1:02:51.880
<v Speaker 1>far away. For example, most people who go through stuff

1:02:51.960 --> 1:02:54.720
<v Speaker 1>like that are then attracted to that type because that's

1:02:54.800 --> 1:02:57.480
<v Speaker 1>all lace. And I just want her to hear my

1:02:57.600 --> 1:02:59.840
<v Speaker 1>voice and say, listen, all men are not like that.

1:03:00.440 --> 1:03:02.600
<v Speaker 1>They're not, so you don't have to accept that. And

1:03:02.680 --> 1:03:04.600
<v Speaker 1>if you ever get to a position where you feel like, well,

1:03:04.680 --> 1:03:06.360
<v Speaker 1>my dad was like this and this guy, So I

1:03:06.400 --> 1:03:09.560
<v Speaker 1>guess that's how all men are. Fuck, know, sweetheart, all

1:03:09.600 --> 1:03:11.480
<v Speaker 1>men are not like that. All men are not abusers,

1:03:11.800 --> 1:03:15.280
<v Speaker 1>all men are not inconsistent. So first work on yourself

1:03:15.320 --> 1:03:17.480
<v Speaker 1>to be able to heal for yourself. Don't try to

1:03:17.560 --> 1:03:19.600
<v Speaker 1>heal for a man that you think you might meet

1:03:19.640 --> 1:03:22.320
<v Speaker 1>in the future. Heal for yourself so you feel better

1:03:22.360 --> 1:03:24.720
<v Speaker 1>about who you are. And then once you feel healed,

1:03:24.880 --> 1:03:26.720
<v Speaker 1>use that discernment and pick the right type of man

1:03:26.760 --> 1:03:28.439
<v Speaker 1>who's gonna love you the where you want to be loved.

1:03:28.560 --> 1:03:30.400
<v Speaker 2>And then when you find that person. So to answer

1:03:30.440 --> 1:03:34.000
<v Speaker 2>your question, for me, earn is something. Trust is something

1:03:34.080 --> 1:03:37.080
<v Speaker 2>that's earned, it's not just something that happens. So with

1:03:37.200 --> 1:03:40.600
<v Speaker 2>deval and I, I was able to develop a trust

1:03:40.640 --> 1:03:42.360
<v Speaker 2>for him, or a level of trust for him because

1:03:42.400 --> 1:03:45.840
<v Speaker 2>he consistently and we talked about consistency with even perfection istion,

1:03:45.960 --> 1:03:49.520
<v Speaker 2>but perfectionism, but he consistently showed me and proved to

1:03:49.640 --> 1:03:52.360
<v Speaker 2>me not just through words but through his action, the

1:03:52.520 --> 1:03:54.720
<v Speaker 2>character of the kind of man that he is and

1:03:54.840 --> 1:03:57.160
<v Speaker 2>would be. So that made it easy for me to

1:03:57.280 --> 1:04:00.480
<v Speaker 2>then relinquish control to him in certain situations, or be

1:04:00.600 --> 1:04:03.720
<v Speaker 2>able to kind of soften. You know what my mom

1:04:03.840 --> 1:04:06.400
<v Speaker 2>instilled in me to be that independent woman who does

1:04:06.480 --> 1:04:08.960
<v Speaker 2>not need anyone for anything and can do on her own.

1:04:09.360 --> 1:04:12.360
<v Speaker 2>But he also simultaneously never stripped that from me either

1:04:12.480 --> 1:04:16.160
<v Speaker 2>and required that I become a dumbed down version of

1:04:16.240 --> 1:04:19.120
<v Speaker 2>myself because he was able to take care of him provide.

1:04:19.520 --> 1:04:21.720
<v Speaker 2>So that's something that you have to find within that person,

1:04:21.840 --> 1:04:24.520
<v Speaker 2>like Davao said, after bettering yourself and making sure that

1:04:24.640 --> 1:04:26.920
<v Speaker 2>you're in a position to receive that kind of person,

1:04:27.400 --> 1:04:30.160
<v Speaker 2>allowing them to earn the trust not through just words

1:04:30.200 --> 1:04:32.600
<v Speaker 2>but also action. So it was easy for me to

1:04:32.760 --> 1:04:40.360
<v Speaker 2>just let everything down, panties included with DeVos. I trusted

1:04:40.440 --> 1:04:42.600
<v Speaker 2>him in every which way, honey, and still do twenty

1:04:42.680 --> 1:04:45.920
<v Speaker 2>three years in. So it gets better this, So thank

1:04:46.000 --> 1:04:48.040
<v Speaker 2>you so much for listening. I'm happy you found us,

1:04:48.120 --> 1:04:50.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm happy that you love it here. You have a

1:04:50.160 --> 1:04:53.080
<v Speaker 2>couple of seasons to catch up on, but thank you

1:04:53.280 --> 1:04:56.360
<v Speaker 2>for joining the family over here and ever after. All right, y'all,

1:04:56.400 --> 1:04:57.920
<v Speaker 2>if you want to be featured as one of our

1:04:57.960 --> 1:05:01.360
<v Speaker 2>listener letters, be sure to email us at the Ellis

1:05:01.520 --> 1:05:03.480
<v Speaker 2>advice at gmail dot com.

1:05:03.680 --> 1:05:06.600
<v Speaker 4>That's t h E E L l I S A

1:05:06.760 --> 1:05:09.440
<v Speaker 4>d v I C E at gmail dot com.

1:05:09.560 --> 1:05:12.880
<v Speaker 2>All right, moment of truth time today we're talking about perfectionism,

1:05:13.800 --> 1:05:16.920
<v Speaker 2>the pursuit of that triple. What you got for us,

1:05:16.960 --> 1:05:18.720
<v Speaker 2>it's your moment of truth. This.

1:05:19.400 --> 1:05:22.919
<v Speaker 7>I didn't just learn this, but I was pleasantly reminded

1:05:23.640 --> 1:05:27.720
<v Speaker 7>to appreciate the process. I do have a thing where

1:05:28.800 --> 1:05:31.320
<v Speaker 7>I'm just I'm realizing that it is and it's important

1:05:31.360 --> 1:05:32.160
<v Speaker 7>for me to be liked.

1:05:33.720 --> 1:05:36.200
<v Speaker 5>And I don't like not being good.

1:05:36.080 --> 1:05:39.320
<v Speaker 4>At stuff, and so that's honest.

1:05:39.480 --> 1:05:43.680
<v Speaker 7>I always have to remind myself that practice makes you better. Yes,

1:05:43.960 --> 1:05:46.240
<v Speaker 7>so I gotta appreciate the process do that.

1:05:46.400 --> 1:05:49.040
<v Speaker 2>And you're just such a great person regardless, like I

1:05:49.120 --> 1:05:51.360
<v Speaker 2>think that that's the that's like the number one thing

1:05:51.640 --> 1:05:53.720
<v Speaker 2>at the top of the list, especially for us. Daval

1:05:53.760 --> 1:05:55.720
<v Speaker 2>and I we like you're just such a pleasure, a

1:05:55.800 --> 1:05:59.080
<v Speaker 2>pleasure to be with. That that's why we want to

1:05:59.200 --> 1:06:01.280
<v Speaker 2>keep you around. I mean, the work portion of it

1:06:01.440 --> 1:06:03.360
<v Speaker 2>is work, you know, that's business, but you as a

1:06:03.440 --> 1:06:06.880
<v Speaker 2>person is really what helps to keep this together because

1:06:06.920 --> 1:06:09.200
<v Speaker 2>we want you in our space. So never doubt that.

1:06:09.480 --> 1:06:12.400
<v Speaker 1>Can I jump in real quick, trible. You've never been

1:06:12.440 --> 1:06:15.840
<v Speaker 1>a perfect producer, Yeah, but you've always been a really

1:06:15.880 --> 1:06:19.400
<v Speaker 1>good person. Yes, and outside of like we joke a lot,

1:06:19.560 --> 1:06:21.440
<v Speaker 1>all of us joke a lot. This is not a joke, bro,

1:06:22.040 --> 1:06:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Nobody here has ever been perfect at their job. I

1:06:24.400 --> 1:06:26.320
<v Speaker 1>fucked up as a whole site. We we fuck up

1:06:26.320 --> 1:06:28.640
<v Speaker 1>all the time. I need you to just know that you,

1:06:28.880 --> 1:06:31.560
<v Speaker 1>because of the person you are, shines through more people

1:06:31.600 --> 1:06:35.640
<v Speaker 1>will give you opportunities than not. We chose to because

1:06:35.680 --> 1:06:38.520
<v Speaker 1>of your character. It had nothing to do with the work,

1:06:38.600 --> 1:06:40.640
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying. We're all not perfect.

1:06:41.040 --> 1:06:44.000
<v Speaker 2>Worktuff we can work on, you know, but you can't

1:06:44.040 --> 1:06:47.520
<v Speaker 2>replace the heart and the self and the energy of

1:06:47.600 --> 1:06:48.000
<v Speaker 2>a person.

1:06:48.080 --> 1:06:49.960
<v Speaker 7>Now that's something I do know. I always joke that

1:06:50.040 --> 1:06:52.160
<v Speaker 7>I'm a personality higher every jobs.

1:06:52.960 --> 1:06:55.400
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah.

1:06:55.920 --> 1:06:58.280
<v Speaker 2>And your personality will prevent you from being a fire.

1:07:05.400 --> 1:07:08.560
<v Speaker 2>What you got for us, Josh, moment of truth and perfectionism.

1:07:11.320 --> 1:07:14.800
<v Speaker 4>If you're listening and you sound like me, you really

1:07:14.880 --> 1:07:19.600
<v Speaker 4>need to put yourself in an uncomfortable space to get

1:07:19.640 --> 1:07:23.640
<v Speaker 4>to your next level, follow your dreams. All that. It's

1:07:23.680 --> 1:07:29.240
<v Speaker 4>not eloquent, it's tough, And I'm talking to myself, but

1:07:29.440 --> 1:07:33.880
<v Speaker 4>it's possible. I think men who are lesser than me

1:07:34.600 --> 1:07:37.920
<v Speaker 4>as far as talent, have done it. So there's no excuse.

1:07:38.400 --> 1:07:44.280
<v Speaker 4>So Josh, as a fact, I've seen in the photography space,

1:07:44.480 --> 1:07:47.480
<v Speaker 4>not even don't you talk about with me? I won't

1:07:47.520 --> 1:07:50.520
<v Speaker 4>cut you up. Barack Obama had had an interview where

1:07:50.520 --> 1:07:52.200
<v Speaker 4>he talked about that. He said, at every level that

1:07:52.280 --> 1:07:54.600
<v Speaker 4>he went to, you realized it was just like not

1:07:54.680 --> 1:07:59.200
<v Speaker 4>that smart. They weren't smart. People are not And I've

1:07:59.240 --> 1:08:03.320
<v Speaker 4>noticed that my so at every level that people aren't

1:08:03.480 --> 1:08:07.440
<v Speaker 4>as as as affluent or or talented as you as

1:08:07.480 --> 1:08:10.480
<v Speaker 4>you might think they would be. So Uh, anyone who

1:08:10.560 --> 1:08:13.600
<v Speaker 4>listening it sounds like me, stop putting barriers or hurdles

1:08:13.680 --> 1:08:16.760
<v Speaker 4>in your way. Run through, not lying through.

1:08:17.800 --> 1:08:22.320
<v Speaker 2>Have a little audacity, y'all. Audacity goes a long way. Matt.

1:08:22.360 --> 1:08:27.559
<v Speaker 3>What you got, Uh, prints are available, That's what I'm

1:08:27.640 --> 1:08:28.240
<v Speaker 3>talking about.

1:08:28.520 --> 1:08:30.240
<v Speaker 4>If you want a license photos.

1:08:31.479 --> 1:08:32.559
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm talking about.

1:08:32.680 --> 1:08:34.200
<v Speaker 2>Period. You gotta plug your ship.

1:08:34.479 --> 1:08:37.920
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, everybody listening to let's make sure we put this

1:08:38.000 --> 1:08:42.560
<v Speaker 7>pressure on Matt like y'all have been putting. Go to

1:08:42.640 --> 1:08:44.720
<v Speaker 7>that pair asking me if I started a business a

1:08:44.760 --> 1:08:46.200
<v Speaker 7>long time ago it's mad.

1:08:48.120 --> 1:08:50.880
<v Speaker 3>By time out, y'all go on the website follow that

1:08:51.000 --> 1:08:52.719
<v Speaker 3>page too, or you can send it to a company

1:08:52.720 --> 1:08:54.080
<v Speaker 3>who wants to license it so we can see it

1:08:54.120 --> 1:08:54.679
<v Speaker 3>around the globe.

1:08:54.840 --> 1:08:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Then do it.

1:08:55.840 --> 1:08:56.240
<v Speaker 4>I love that.

1:08:56.560 --> 1:08:59.559
<v Speaker 2>I guess my moment you kind of got inspired from Josh's.

1:08:59.600 --> 1:09:02.760
<v Speaker 2>But there are folks out here that are doing way less,

1:09:03.760 --> 1:09:07.719
<v Speaker 2>but they have consistency, they have audacity, they have nerve,

1:09:08.439 --> 1:09:10.800
<v Speaker 2>they have the gall and they just be doing it

1:09:10.920 --> 1:09:14.160
<v Speaker 2>and doing it consistently enough. Do not cheat the process

1:09:15.080 --> 1:09:19.040
<v Speaker 2>because eventually, whatever it is, it's gonna hit. And that's

1:09:19.120 --> 1:09:21.559
<v Speaker 2>me speaking to myself as well too, because I saw

1:09:22.160 --> 1:09:26.320
<v Speaker 2>what locking into the process did for me recently, and

1:09:26.520 --> 1:09:28.560
<v Speaker 2>it has completely changed my life. And I'm in my

1:09:28.680 --> 1:09:30.720
<v Speaker 2>forties now, well at the top of the forties, in

1:09:30.880 --> 1:09:33.360
<v Speaker 2>my forties, like I won toe in it. I'm forty one,

1:09:33.680 --> 1:09:36.040
<v Speaker 2>but at this age, and I'm sure there's people who

1:09:36.080 --> 1:09:38.200
<v Speaker 2>listen that are younger. We have so many younger listeners

1:09:38.560 --> 1:09:41.360
<v Speaker 2>like don't wait, you can do it sooner and enjoy

1:09:41.439 --> 1:09:41.880
<v Speaker 2>it longer.

1:09:42.240 --> 1:09:47.760
<v Speaker 1>I agree, be uncomfortable. Josh brought up a real good

1:09:47.840 --> 1:09:50.400
<v Speaker 1>point about all of the people we know who have

1:09:50.479 --> 1:09:52.880
<v Speaker 1>done great things had they back against the wall, and

1:09:53.080 --> 1:09:55.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot of times it's easier to take chances when

1:09:55.320 --> 1:09:57.640
<v Speaker 1>your back is against the wall. Yeah, so these are

1:09:57.720 --> 1:09:59.920
<v Speaker 1>all my parents who have kids. Stop making your kids

1:10:00.040 --> 1:10:03.680
<v Speaker 1>life so comfortable, Kadeen Deval Mimi Pop, Like you know

1:10:03.720 --> 1:10:07.360
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. Like we all as parents, this generation

1:10:07.520 --> 1:10:10.200
<v Speaker 1>of parents who have more than our parents, we got

1:10:10.320 --> 1:10:12.360
<v Speaker 1>to stop making our kids life so comfortable so that

1:10:12.439 --> 1:10:14.200
<v Speaker 1>they can take chances and be better than us.

1:10:14.680 --> 1:10:15.639
<v Speaker 4>That's what Josh.

1:10:15.720 --> 1:10:17.080
<v Speaker 1>You brought that to me because I didn't even think

1:10:17.080 --> 1:10:19.720
<v Speaker 1>about the financial component and the fact that all those

1:10:19.760 --> 1:10:22.679
<v Speaker 1>times I was hustling, I was freaking broke.

1:10:22.520 --> 1:10:24.880
<v Speaker 2>Because you had nothing else happening at that moment. Yeah,

1:10:24.920 --> 1:10:27.200
<v Speaker 2>it was all on you. Was this your topic today? Josh?

1:10:27.280 --> 1:10:28.360
<v Speaker 2>Did you put this one in there?

1:10:28.680 --> 1:10:28.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

1:10:28.880 --> 1:10:30.560
<v Speaker 2>So we've been putting topics in the ring and in

1:10:30.640 --> 1:10:32.240
<v Speaker 2>the group chat and stuff, and this was a good

1:10:32.280 --> 1:10:40.479
<v Speaker 2>one for today. So Josh episode today, I know I

1:10:40.600 --> 1:10:43.680
<v Speaker 2>need to hear from you. Okay, all right, y'all, be

1:10:43.800 --> 1:10:45.680
<v Speaker 2>sure to find us on Patreon if you're not part

1:10:45.720 --> 1:10:48.479
<v Speaker 2>of the gang yet, because we have the exclusive after

1:10:48.600 --> 1:10:52.040
<v Speaker 2>show there, as well as more Ellis Family content, BTS,

1:10:52.160 --> 1:10:53.960
<v Speaker 2>all that good stuff. That you want to see from us,

1:10:54.240 --> 1:10:57.040
<v Speaker 2>and you can find us on social media at Elvis

1:10:57.080 --> 1:11:00.800
<v Speaker 2>ever After. I am Kadeen, I am I am.

1:11:00.800 --> 1:11:06.240
<v Speaker 3>Devaal matt Ellis Photo dot com, M A T T

1:11:06.400 --> 1:11:09.280
<v Speaker 3>E L L I S P h O t O

1:11:09.520 --> 1:11:09.960
<v Speaker 3>dot com.

1:11:10.920 --> 1:11:12.559
<v Speaker 2>There you go, give him a lower third, bab.

1:11:12.560 --> 1:11:15.799
<v Speaker 4>You double click on my fix at Joshua Underscore Dwayne.

1:11:17.240 --> 1:11:19.280
<v Speaker 5>You can find me at tribs The Cool, t R

1:11:19.360 --> 1:11:21.479
<v Speaker 5>I B b Z The Cool on Everything.

1:11:22.000 --> 1:11:24.479
<v Speaker 1>And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to

1:11:24.600 --> 1:11:28.240
<v Speaker 1>wait reviews such ribe and get your copy of We

1:11:28.439 --> 1:11:30.679
<v Speaker 1>Over Me. It's still available now, y'all.

1:11:30.960 --> 1:11:31.719
<v Speaker 2>It's everywhere.

1:11:31.840 --> 1:11:34.439
<v Speaker 4>Baby Dad ass.

1:11:36.800 --> 1:11:41.320
<v Speaker 7>Cut Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted

1:11:41.400 --> 1:11:45.960
<v Speaker 7>by Kadeen and deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,

1:11:46.120 --> 1:11:50.599
<v Speaker 7>Production by Joshua, Dwayne and Matthew Ellis, video editing by

1:11:50.720 --> 1:11:51.519
<v Speaker 7>Leshan rothe

1:13:01.160 --> 1:13:01.320
<v Speaker 2>Sa