Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to the Unofficial Expert podcast. We love
Speaker 1: our followers and our fans. If you can do us
Speaker 1: a favor, if you have an iPhone, if you can
Speaker 1: subscribe on Apple Podcasts to the Unofficial Expert, it would
Speaker 1: be amazing and rate and review it really really helps.
Speaker 2: We love you guys so much.
Speaker 3: Thanks forever.
Speaker 1: Oh hi guys, hello in Sydney, Washington. We haven't set
Speaker 1: our names up top in a minute.
Speaker 2: I know, I was caught off guard. I didn't know
Speaker 2: that we were recording.
Speaker 4: I was just running my mouth about how loud it
Speaker 4: is in the studio. Okay, I could have stayed home
Speaker 4: for this, I mean we could.
Speaker 2: We could cut that out. Now, leave that in there.
Speaker 2: Please leave it in.
Speaker 3: Leave it until people are in the moment and they
Speaker 3: know like.
Speaker 2: They're here with us. It's not sound proof obviously.
Speaker 4: Hey guys, shout out to everybody who's still listening, because honestly,
Speaker 4: who are you.
Speaker 1: We really really appreciate your support. Really, you're doing a
Speaker 1: lot for the community.
Speaker 4: Somebody who listens to the podcast came to see me
Speaker 4: before on Monday and uh got.
Speaker 3: Me some fries. So really, I'm just grateful for that.
Speaker 4: Yes, anytime I'm out and you guys come see me,
Speaker 4: please feed me because a lot of y'all have come
Speaker 4: out to see me and then you just you hug
Speaker 4: me in your leave and who wants that? I mean,
Speaker 4: not enough, it's disrespectful. I mean, if you met Beyonce,
Speaker 4: wouldn't you take Beionce to lunch?
Speaker 1: And you definitely should take her out because it's her birthday,
Speaker 1: My birthday.
Speaker 4: September twenty third, So uh, Sydney, Planda's a prize party
Speaker 4: for me at the studio. There are bird and ernie hats.
Speaker 4: They're Sessame street hats. Yes there What are these things that.
Speaker 2: You blow into?
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be a little little whistle things,
Speaker 1: but obviously there's a there's no whistle city sucks.
Speaker 2: I walked in.
Speaker 4: It looked like you had a capri son straw and
Speaker 4: you know she's still drinking that hood juice.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 1: Yes, So we have cake and ice cream and I
Speaker 1: just want my friend the thickest for her birthday.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for her to get me thick.
Speaker 4: Oh, that truly greatest gift that you can give me,
Speaker 4: trying to do it like fifteen pounds.
Speaker 2: Just eat the whole damn cake.
Speaker 1: You know what, eat the cake anime? Yes, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do what I can with my mouth. Yes, So
Speaker 1: give her presents. Venmo her, what's your vemo?
Speaker 3: It's Marie Foston. Yes, if you know how to spell, if.
Speaker 1: You know how to spell, if you know how to spell,
Speaker 1: I'll take your money.
Speaker 4: If you know how to spell, Marie spelled M A
Speaker 4: R I E. Because people keep spelling it with a
Speaker 4: y oh or they spell it the right way, and
Speaker 4: they call me Mary, which we all know is a
Speaker 4: fat white lady.
Speaker 2: Please stop.
Speaker 3: Do we know skinny black girl's name Mary?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Actually I don't.
Speaker 4: I feel like if it's a white woman named married,
Speaker 4: she's fat, and if it's a black girl named married,
Speaker 4: she can't read. So neither of those things. So I'm
Speaker 4: skinny and I can read. So it's just Marie.
Speaker 2: We just lost thirty listeners from that.
Speaker 4: I don't know fat white women listen to this, and
Speaker 4: don't know illiterate people listen to this. It's a bunch
Speaker 4: of skinny gays that are well read.
Speaker 2: Marie. It's her birthday, so please excuse her.
Speaker 1: No, you know you was getting this, okay. Also, Also,
Speaker 1: if you see her in the subway. Please swipe her,
Speaker 1: give her a slag.
Speaker 2: My card is unlimited for the month. It's fine.
Speaker 4: I paid one hundred and twenty one dollars for this card.
Speaker 4: That it should not be that much. But you know,
Speaker 4: says Sis the voice. What's going on?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, do you hear it?
Speaker 2: It's gone.
Speaker 3: It's around that time.
Speaker 4: It's around that time where I lose my voice again,
Speaker 4: that bronchitis.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Time for like, you know, like a sexy birthday terenade
Speaker 4: at my party tomorrow.
Speaker 2: I'm excited about it. Oh my god, happy birthday.
Speaker 3: Wow, Tony Braxton sounds great.
Speaker 2: I think you so much.
Speaker 1: Yes, if Tony Braxton had bronchitis, if Tony Braxton had
Speaker 1: seventeen more dollars, she would sound like me, because you
Speaker 1: know she bankrupt.
Speaker 3: Sydney. What's going on with you? You still out the
Speaker 3: brass knuckles on?
Speaker 2: I do? Okay, I do? And we're doing sunglasses inside?
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, I saw, I guess and she looked at
Speaker 1: me like, are you all right?
Speaker 2: I was like, let me put my sun glasses on.
Speaker 2: You've been you've been crying.
Speaker 3: You want to talk about it? We got some glasses on.
Speaker 2: No, definitely not.
Speaker 3: But what's wrong with your eyes?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: You know you just have late nights. I have allergies.
Speaker 2: You got pink eye?
Speaker 3: Gross?
Speaker 2: You are a grown ass women and you don't have
Speaker 2: a child.
Speaker 1: I got glackoma and cataracts in my eyes.
Speaker 2: You forgot your lashes? Anyone? Yes?
Speaker 1: You know when the glue gets in the like center,
Speaker 1: you're like, no, no, that's gross.
Speaker 2: Yes, well your hair looks great.
Speaker 1: Thank you fix the edges because you know, when we're
Speaker 1: in Vegas staying at the.
Speaker 2: Blank blank, I had that blank.
Speaker 1: Dust all up and through my scalp, so I had
Speaker 1: to just get it out.
Speaker 3: You know, you just shampoo and condition your scalp.
Speaker 1: I could do that, but I also could be like, listen,
Speaker 1: I just need to take some of this blank remnants
Speaker 1: out of my buck.
Speaker 2: And you're saying blank. People don't think that we stayed
Speaker 2: in the motels.
Speaker 4: My Basically, we were doing Miami style, yo, yo, were
Speaker 4: living in Miami. I like staying in nice places when
Speaker 4: I travel, I feel like I should be somewhere cute. Yes,
Speaker 4: and uh, you know, like what if I meet somebody
Speaker 4: when I'm on a trip and I want to bring them.
Speaker 2: Back to the room. Has that ever happened?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: It what if it's about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never brought anybody back to the hotel that
Speaker 1: wasn't that their card wasn't already on the hotel room anyway.
Speaker 3: For incidental.
Speaker 4: Yes, Listen, when you got to hotels and they asked
Speaker 4: for your card for incidental, you'd be like, actually, I.
Speaker 1: Mean they were supposed to be taken care of all
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, can you just put it on the
Speaker 1: card that booked through? And they're like, no, I need
Speaker 1: a car here. Oh, Sis, I ain't got it. They
Speaker 1: were like, Sis, you got me in the lobby for
Speaker 1: a minute.
Speaker 3: For incidental. It's like, well, what you mean, nothing gonna happen,
Speaker 3: give me, give me my car back.
Speaker 1: And you talk about your expertise first, let's okay, sure
Speaker 1: my expertise.
Speaker 4: This week I feel like I was an expert at
Speaker 4: being patient. Yeah, which is that you know, that's not
Speaker 4: that ain't me. It's not my truth, that's not my ministry.
Speaker 4: And so last week Sydney and I went to a
Speaker 4: restaurant with somebody from Eater.
Speaker 3: Yes, which is like, I guess a big deal.
Speaker 4: It is to like he took us to like a
Speaker 4: restaurant that we couldn't afford so that we can then
Speaker 4: go back to the Eater studios and like record like
Speaker 4: a podcast about food.
Speaker 3: And so we went. We got Sydney or her lobster.
Speaker 2: It was crazy.
Speaker 4: She didn't eat the lobster. She rude, it's so bad. Well,
Speaker 4: we told you was gonna be bad.
Speaker 2: And then as a Haitian woman, you were like.
Speaker 1: You're going to just wait because all this food, because lobsters,
Speaker 1: it's so much work.
Speaker 2: It is for like.
Speaker 4: Very little payoff, right like, and they didn't give us
Speaker 4: no garlic butter.
Speaker 2: So he was like, they treat me better as I'm
Speaker 2: just letting you know.
Speaker 3: They give me. They give me the sauce.
Speaker 4: You're eating, well, you're eating imitation lobster with the swool.
Speaker 4: It's showy, is good, you know, like that that white
Speaker 4: and pink fake crab meat that people think of.
Speaker 2: People swear its crab. It's so fucking good. It tastes
Speaker 2: like I don't know, it really.
Speaker 3: Tastes like a diabetes and high blood prushure.
Speaker 2: It gives me, it gives me good. I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's just it's so good for me.
Speaker 3: No, it's bad for you. That's why your eyes look
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 4: Shut up and so uh so we went back to
Speaker 4: the studio to record the podcast, and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, Oh, it's gonna be so funny.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have a good time blah. And I was
Speaker 2: trying to crack jokes the entire time and Sidney was.
Speaker 3: Being so serious.
Speaker 2: I was it was not fun for me.
Speaker 1: I was like talking about like dicks and like pain,
Speaker 1: which but like it was stuff.
Speaker 3: I was talking about stuff that I don't even normally
Speaker 3: talk about.
Speaker 4: And Sidney was like the ambiyonds of the restaurant, and
Speaker 4: I was like, oh my god, this is gonna be
Speaker 4: so bad.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be awful.
Speaker 4: She was like the food was delicious, and I was
Speaker 4: like what, Like, oh my god, I was like, and
Speaker 4: she like gave it like a real restaurant review, which
Speaker 4: is not what they wanted, right, They wanted us to
Speaker 4: just like he's heard the podcast before. He was like,
Speaker 4: you guys, yell are rude, yell, are funny?
Speaker 2: Just talk about food.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm feuedal beforehand. If it comes up, it comes up.
Speaker 4: And Sydney was like, so by the book that I
Speaker 4: was like, I was like annoyed and I was gonna
Speaker 4: call you about it this.
Speaker 1: Weekend, and okay, I was like, so we're just gonna
Speaker 1: handle it on the on the podcast, wait for my expertise.
Speaker 2: You hear me talking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But when we were leaving, the dude was a
Speaker 4: little bit like, oh no, man, I don't know what
Speaker 4: this podcact because he didn't seem like he thought it
Speaker 4: was that funny either. And so then the episode came
Speaker 4: out and he said it was great, and he said
Speaker 4: his editor, the editor in chief, had eater left it.
Speaker 4: And then I started to listening to it this morning
Speaker 4: and it was cool, and I was like, Okay, well,
Speaker 4: see I exercised patience and didn't yell at Sydney on
Speaker 4: the podcast or shape her this weekend because I knew
Speaker 4: she was working, you know, and it came out fine.
Speaker 4: So you see, this is that's why I'm an expert
Speaker 4: being pai chill.
Speaker 2: That was great.
Speaker 1: Thank you, So let's clap but everybody in the studio
Speaker 1: clapping up for Marie bitch ass for having Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sidney, what were you an expert in this week? Hmmm?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm just are you stunned? Are you flabraed?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm struggling this week, and uh, you know, it happens,
Speaker 1: and so I sometimes forget that, Like when I'm struggling,
Speaker 1: I'm I get I make it about me, and I
Speaker 1: get like in my head and I'm not thinking about
Speaker 1: other people. And so I remember the friend is going
Speaker 1: through it as well. So I called that friend and
Speaker 1: I hadn't called her in a while, and I actually
Speaker 1: just listened to what she was going through, right, And
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to do better with even
Speaker 1: if I'm having a hard time, I have to listen
Speaker 1: to other people because you might can get something from
Speaker 1: like what they're yes, and it was it was good.
Speaker 1: I was glad that I was able to you know,
Speaker 1: call and FaceTime and this yeah and see the tears
Speaker 1: like in three D oh.
Speaker 3: Three D yeah MX tiers mm hmm.
Speaker 2: So I guess I was an expert in you know,
Speaker 2: being there.
Speaker 3: Being good people this week. Honestly and truly, you.
Speaker 2: Gotta be there even when you can't be there for yourself.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it helps you get out of whatever you're fucking
Speaker 1: dealing with. Yeah, I mean, because sometimes it makes you
Speaker 1: step outside of your situation to just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess it could be worse or I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm doing bad, but I'm not doing that bad, right,
Speaker 1: So then I talked to her and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you ain't doing that bad? Oh or your well then
Speaker 1: sometimes like sometimes also it's a it's cool, not cool,
Speaker 1: but it's good to hear what other people are struggling
Speaker 1: with because maybe even if their problems aren't as big
Speaker 1: as yours, you could be like, yeah.
Speaker 2: But I'm not that petty, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Like sometimes it makes you feel good because you can
Speaker 4: like think worse about your friends.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, maybe that's just me my patient skills.
Speaker 4: Speaking of skills, I guess today is somebody that I
Speaker 4: really enjoy and I think that y'all are don't like
Speaker 4: her because she tells it like it is.
Speaker 3: Also Sydney.
Speaker 2: She's very Maria Jason, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is why I think I like this person.
Speaker 5: Huh.
Speaker 1: Also she's funny, so funny she was. She went to
Speaker 1: Just for Laughs this this summer in Montreal. Big deal,
Speaker 1: big deal, same thing that Marie went to Nick Faces.
Speaker 1: And she also has a podcasts.
Speaker 4: Two Less Lonely Girls justin Bieber based justin bieber Bays
Speaker 4: podcast that is incredible.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard it, but if I heard great things
Speaker 1: about it, give it up for Rosebud Baker angry experts.
Speaker 5: Okay, first of all, it's it is about Justin Bieber,
Speaker 5: but we stalk Justin Bieber. Okay, it's not like this
Speaker 5: podcast about I just need to clear that up right away.
Speaker 2: Okay, you feel like that was the flaw in it? Listen,
Speaker 2: listen up. I will fucking defend Justin Bieber to the death.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, defend his current look his hair, and I.
Speaker 5: Can't you know what, I can't defend that exactly.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing.
Speaker 5: He has been famous since he was like eight years old.
Speaker 5: Maybe he is looking like a piece of shit so
Speaker 5: that he can blend in.
Speaker 1: No, dude, we know the fact that you're able to
Speaker 1: stalk him. You stopped him even though he looks homeless. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that means he stands out even amongst the homeless folks.
Speaker 2: He does.
Speaker 5: You can't hide money, he knows, like a young kid Rock,
Speaker 5: you can't hide money.
Speaker 2: My name is dude, Biber. I don't even I've never
Speaker 2: even heard kid Rock.
Speaker 3: I used to watch t RL.
Speaker 2: I literally never did Rose by your eyebrows. I know
Speaker 2: the kid.
Speaker 5: In my life, never in my life. Okay, First of all,
Speaker 5: I didn't know I was coming on here to get roasted.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know why you didn't think that you
Speaker 2: didn't know what you were coming.
Speaker 5: Second second, I just need a little piece of butter
Speaker 5: cake to feel.
Speaker 4: The ice cream because I don't want it to melt
Speaker 4: in this warm studio. So, uh, roast, We don't call
Speaker 4: you roast bud because you be roasting people too, I do,
Speaker 4: which I like I do.
Speaker 3: And also you've done like roast battles here in the city.
Speaker 2: How so a ROAs is so done with those right?
Speaker 4: Listen a roast battle when they put two comics against
Speaker 4: each other and they have like, what is it like
Speaker 4: a minute to say as many jokes as possible.
Speaker 3: To each other.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you just go back and forth with jokes, just
Speaker 5: like joking about like the most horrible shit that's ever
Speaker 5: happened to you.
Speaker 2: It's a very formal roast. It it is a very
Speaker 2: formal roast.
Speaker 1: You sit down and you think about these jokes about
Speaker 1: something like the worst thing possible you can think of someone,
Speaker 1: you write a well crafted joke about it.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's not well crafted.
Speaker 5: Sometimes it is just mean, yeah, that's the problem with those,
Speaker 5: Well that's the problem with unfunny people. But this is
Speaker 5: it's like, if you have it's not the problem. The
Speaker 5: problem is not with the roast. The problem is that
Speaker 5: not everyone is good at it. And so if you
Speaker 5: have a joke that you think is gonna crush, like,
Speaker 5: you better be positive it's gonna crush, because if it doesn't,
Speaker 5: it just comes off me.
Speaker 2: So it has to be funnier than it is me because.
Speaker 4: You'll be talking about people family members dying and people's
Speaker 4: mothers beating them, and people got aids when they really
Speaker 4: do have aids.
Speaker 3: It's like crazy, they all roast each other.
Speaker 4: You're really saying stuff that you know about the other
Speaker 4: persons really getting this information.
Speaker 2: I don't know a lot of people. I just ask them,
Speaker 2: you know, I'll be like, what I.
Speaker 5: Think I would tell you about my harp girl by
Speaker 5: but like you can it doesn't have to be the
Speaker 5: worship that's ever happened to them. Like I'll be like,
Speaker 5: what is it that you're comfortable with me writing jokes about.
Speaker 3: I'll be like, none of it, nothing, none of it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna punch you for them.
Speaker 5: I'm a wait outside but that's why you wouldn't sign
Speaker 5: up for it.
Speaker 2: You know, like the people that sign up for this
Speaker 2: are willing to go for it. I'm selfe.
Speaker 3: They have asked me and Sydney to roast each other
Speaker 3: many times.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure I said, I don't need to.
Speaker 3: Have a negativity in my life.
Speaker 2: We really don't.
Speaker 1: We see each other enough. We don't need to be
Speaker 1: roasting each other. The white people we don't know. You
Speaker 1: guys can see Sidney. None of my business, you guys.
Speaker 2: I have seen the roasts.
Speaker 5: I know for a fact that you guys have seen
Speaker 5: certain roasts that I've done that you immediately texted me about.
Speaker 2: I don't even like.
Speaker 5: This is the greatest moment of my life. So I
Speaker 5: know that you can enjoy it as long as you're
Speaker 5: not doing it.
Speaker 2: And I don't enjoy them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if somebody that I don't like is getting thoroughly roasted,
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. Wait, what was one of the jokes that
Speaker 1: that you I can't.
Speaker 4: I can't if I don't remember them. If oh, I remember,
Speaker 4: I remember a couple of them. When we had the video,
Speaker 4: we were like, run that bag. We were in an
Speaker 4: overpool listening at full value can we plut this into
Speaker 4: the Yeah, it's.
Speaker 3: So loud, so messy, Marie, It's good.
Speaker 2: It was fun. It was a fun one.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But is that how you channel some of your anger? Yes, battles?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think for I think that was one of
Speaker 5: the ways that I realized I was so angry is
Speaker 5: I was like, Oh, it's a lot easier for me
Speaker 5: to write jokes when I'm angry about something.
Speaker 4: Now, what does a young, well to do white woman
Speaker 4: have to be angry about?
Speaker 3: Because you well to do.
Speaker 4: Well, did you look like you had a racketball club
Speaker 4: membership or something like?
Speaker 2: I really do? I really?
Speaker 1: Do you look like you shop at I don't know rag?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's uh, it's I don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't know what I have to be angry about.
Speaker 5: When I really like focusing on it, I'm like, I
Speaker 5: don't have that much to be angry about. But you
Speaker 5: don't have to have something to be angry about to
Speaker 5: just be angry, Like, you could just be an angry person,
Speaker 5: which I have been since.
Speaker 2: I was a kid.
Speaker 3: Do you have angry parents?
Speaker 2: My dad?
Speaker 5: Yeah, my dad he's a he's a real mean he's
Speaker 5: a mean guy. What's he's like, okay, so he is
Speaker 5: a lawyer and my mom is like a painter, right,
Speaker 5: so I come from so he working all hard and your.
Speaker 3: Mom and some flowers here.
Speaker 5: My mom's a painter and my dad's a lawyer. And
Speaker 5: my dad is like, you know, he had four five daughters.
Speaker 5: He didn't know what to do.
Speaker 2: He was just angry.
Speaker 5: We were all supposed to be men, and he just
Speaker 5: failed miserably each time. Right, so he never created a
Speaker 5: man and that was his fault, you know. So he
Speaker 5: was angry about that, but also like he was just
Speaker 5: he was mean, but in the funniest ways, Like when
Speaker 5: I look back when I was a kid, my dad
Speaker 5: would come to these plays that I would do right,
Speaker 5: and he would he would sit in the front row
Speaker 5: and then he would fall asleep. And I remember him
Speaker 5: coming in college and falling asleep in the front row
Speaker 5: with his drink in his hand. And I remember coming
Speaker 5: up to him afterwards and being like.
Speaker 2: You fell asleep. I can't believe you fell asleep? Was
Speaker 2: so dramatic.
Speaker 5: He goes, well, maybe you know, he's like he's from Texas.
Speaker 5: He's like, well, you know, maybe if it was a
Speaker 5: better play, I wouldn't have fallen asleep. Oh my god,
Speaker 5: I just like that is you know, looking back at that,
Speaker 5: I go like, that's fucking funny, Like that's a funny thing.
Speaker 1: Your dad would have got along with my mom because
Speaker 1: my mom went to my talent show in high school
Speaker 1: and she took off of work yea. She had like
Speaker 1: she had a trench coat on, she had sunglasses and
Speaker 1: she would not take them off. She sat in the
Speaker 1: front and I sang, oh, holy night, yes, and when
Speaker 1: I tell you Ramona Marie so and you could see
Speaker 1: the heat.
Speaker 2: Coming off her wig, like her wig wanted to just
Speaker 2: pop off.
Speaker 1: And then at the end of it, she's like, next time,
Speaker 1: don't have me take off a work foot is bullshit.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, you're right, You're right, You're right,
Speaker 1: and I never sang again.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like all I needed was my mom to
Speaker 1: be like, no, let me take off.
Speaker 2: I'm not losing my hours.
Speaker 1: I know, She's like, now you can't eat next week
Speaker 1: because we don't have money for it.
Speaker 2: I could whole off dry ass voice.
Speaker 5: I mean, being a parent is a pain in the ass,
Speaker 5: you know. I feel like if I wish that I
Speaker 5: had been an adult, like adult me had heard my
Speaker 5: dad say that, because I would have cracked up, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, Because the funniest part about it
Speaker 5: was I wrote the fucking play. So I'm like, he's like, well,
Speaker 5: maybe if it was a better play, if or maybe
Speaker 5: I wouldn't have fallen asleep if it was a better play.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I wrote, did he know that you wrote
Speaker 2: the play? Apparently not? And I was like, Dad, I
Speaker 2: was like, I wrote the play. And he goes, well,
Speaker 2: you're not fucking Shakespeare. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That sounds fantastic, but it's hilarious, terrible, He's terrible.
Speaker 5: But he's also like, as a comic, I'm like, that's
Speaker 5: the reason I became a comic, Like, that's my sense
Speaker 5: of humor.
Speaker 2: You know you need it though, Sometimes you need a
Speaker 2: little bit of that. You just steer you in the
Speaker 2: direction like, hey, maybe plays ain't for me. Yes, maybe
Speaker 2: I'm not good. Maybe that's not my lane. But I
Speaker 2: do something else.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's not my lane, that's.
Speaker 2: Not what I should do. Yeah. My dad was, you know,
Speaker 2: he was always like, you're very funny.
Speaker 5: You should do you should do comedy, He's like, and
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm a I'm a serious actress. Yeah,
Speaker 5: he was like, uh, all right, well nobody likes theater,
Speaker 5: That's what he said to me. He's like, nobody wants
Speaker 5: to That's why they have Mattinees, because nobody wants to
Speaker 5: waste their whole night out of theater.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Yes, I want to hang out with you.
Speaker 2: Can he get on the past? I know? I want
Speaker 2: him to be James Baker, James Baker, James We got
Speaker 2: some time James Baker.
Speaker 1: It seemed like he might say the N word on
Speaker 1: the Weekend Texas he's from.
Speaker 2: You might say, well, I'll sipping on an old fashioned.
Speaker 5: I've never heard him say it, but you know what,
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna say.
Speaker 1: That's how y'all do you like? Well, he's never been
Speaker 1: racist in front of not in front of me.
Speaker 3: I can't confirmed.
Speaker 2: Tonight whatever happens in his car.
Speaker 4: James seems like one of those people that like when
Speaker 4: he sees like somebody who's down on their luck or
Speaker 4: like a homeless he just says thoughts and prayers.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 5: He is definitely one of those puts no money in
Speaker 5: the cup, definitely one of those.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you had that anger from a kid. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also, my mom's really southern, you know, so she didn't.
Speaker 5: She would never admit that she was angry. She'd always
Speaker 5: be like, no, I'm just sad, and that you to
Speaker 5: piss him off. Yeah, because it's like, don't say your
Speaker 5: fucking side, just say you're pissed.
Speaker 1: But what are sad and angry have to do? Like
Speaker 1: they have nothing in common to me?
Speaker 4: Like I feel like I'm quiet when i'm sad, and
Speaker 4: I'm loud when i'm angry.
Speaker 1: Well, sometimes you're sad that you're angry. You're like, and
Speaker 1: you can't pinpoint why you're angry.
Speaker 2: That can make you sad. You're like, what the fuck
Speaker 2: am I so mad about it?
Speaker 5: I can't always point why I'm angry. I can't pinpoint
Speaker 5: why I'm sad anger always I can find a.
Speaker 2: Direct source, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Because if you get angry, something set you off, and
Speaker 5: it's always pretty obvious.
Speaker 2: But no, no, no, no, I will tell you this.
Speaker 1: When you angry about stuff, you think it's about one thing,
Speaker 1: but it's it's about something that happened like.
Speaker 2: Two weeks ago, right, that happens too.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's the snowball effect that you're like layering noim.
Speaker 5: But Here's the thing is, this is why I'm an
Speaker 5: expert at anger is because the second that I feel angry,
Speaker 5: I say it in them, like I don't have a
Speaker 5: way to be like, oh, let me just hold onto
Speaker 5: this for a second.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like I'll just say, Okay,
Speaker 2: well this is pissing me off. You nip it in
Speaker 2: the button.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that way, the next time I see the person,
Speaker 5: you know, their outfit won't annoy me?
Speaker 2: That make you angry for my outfit?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You ever not like somebody and everything about them? You smile.
Speaker 5: There's one guy in New York. I'm not gonna say
Speaker 5: his name. I hate the shape of his fucking head
Speaker 5: because I because so much of what he's done has
Speaker 5: pissed me off so many times that I can't even now.
Speaker 5: He'll walk in a room and I'm like, this guy
Speaker 5: with his fucking mouth, like I just can't even I can't.
Speaker 5: I can't why I can't even say that because it
Speaker 5: would give it away, But like, I just I can't,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Yeah, right now, it's not
Speaker 5: even Yeah, it's just like the way that he talks,
Speaker 5: do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: He's one of those people that just he's one of
Speaker 2: these people that just always has something to fucking says
Speaker 2: on Facebook. Were we talking about this person earlier?
Speaker 5: No, but that person pisses me off just because self
Speaker 5: pity is disgusting.
Speaker 2: Okay, talk about that.
Speaker 5: Those people like on Facebook. They'll be like, oh, I
Speaker 5: don't have any friends.
Speaker 6: I'm just like, oh god, oh yeah, there's this guy adult.
Speaker 3: There's a guy on Facebook, and.
Speaker 1: He'll put like if I hit read more, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then if another page pops open, yeah, that's that you
Speaker 1: wrote too much.
Speaker 2: You wrote too much, and I was a read more person.
Speaker 2: That too much.
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't even read. Don't You'll make us
Speaker 1: read a lot on your status it I.
Speaker 2: Do read said, they will just like it. She won't
Speaker 2: read the whole thing, but she'll like it. I support you.
Speaker 2: I blindly support you. It's like it's just so obvious. Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, you're.
Speaker 3: When you get mad.
Speaker 2: I know you so when you get met.
Speaker 4: But like, if I get met, I'm not jumping on
Speaker 4: social media to type about it.
Speaker 5: Like if I'm mad, I'll type about it, and so yeah,
Speaker 5: I'll just be like, you know, I won't be specific.
Speaker 5: I try not to be specific, but yeah, there's sometimes
Speaker 5: I'll just be like I can't, I can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But sometimes that's the thing. People are such idiots,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. People are such morons, especially
Speaker 2: now eighteen, people just getting dumber and dumb, just dumber
Speaker 2: and dumber.
Speaker 5: I honestly, there's not a single person that I even
Speaker 5: if I agree with the overall, cause that this person
Speaker 5: has the way that they go about it annoys me, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
Speaker 5: There are people that are so fucking devoted to like
Speaker 5: one specific cause that I just go like you, I'm like,
Speaker 5: you're setting yourself up for such failure, especially now because
Speaker 5: people are so you know, they'll be like, I'm such
Speaker 5: a feminist, and I'm like, okay, but if you ever
Speaker 5: fucked up in the past, if you are without sin,
Speaker 5: then fine, but like, if you ever fucked up in
Speaker 5: the past, you are setting yourself up for some fucked
Speaker 5: up shit to happen, and everyone is gonna turn on you.
Speaker 4: Crazy how It's like, especially in like a Hollywood and
Speaker 4: entertainment right now, the stuff that people did in like
Speaker 4: nineteen ninety two in like a basement, it's coming in
Speaker 4: light like people and.
Speaker 3: They didn't have phones back then to document everything.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know how people remember. How do
Speaker 2: you have the memory? I know I can't remember what
Speaker 2: happened last week.
Speaker 4: From what I had on yesterday, and I put it
Speaker 4: on my ashy as me either. Yeah, Like it's just
Speaker 4: it's crazy to me, especially for like kids, the kids
Speaker 4: that are growing up now, they're never gonna be able
Speaker 4: to lie about anything, right because everything that they do
Speaker 4: is all of a social media it is, and it's
Speaker 4: like they're digging into People can delete tweets and then
Speaker 4: get jobs, and then they'll find them deleted tweets and
Speaker 4: be like, well you called Mexican.
Speaker 2: Wait, you can delete tweets and people find them. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they like live somewhere Sydney's about to go on a strike.
Speaker 1: No, I no, I'd rather I don't really delete my tweets.
Speaker 1: I know they're I can't even say retarding, but yeah.
Speaker 2: I know that they're done.
Speaker 1: And I live in my I lean into the dumb
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is what it is, yeah, but
Speaker 1: I don't really say anything like that.
Speaker 2: Racist.
Speaker 5: That's the thing though, is like comedians right, Like comedians
Speaker 5: are now being held at this like up this standard
Speaker 5: because we're pandering to whatever side we think will agree
Speaker 5: with us.
Speaker 2: Instead of just focusing on being fucking funny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's the thing too.
Speaker 4: You say the word comedian and it's like, look, it's
Speaker 4: a lot of people at the level that we're at currently,
Speaker 4: and you know, levels above us that do comedy and
Speaker 4: they do it because they saw Bill Bird do it
Speaker 4: or Luisy K do it and he said the N word,
Speaker 4: so like, I'm also gonna say it. And it's like,
Speaker 4: you're not that funny, You're not that funny, You're you're
Speaker 4: not funny. You just want to jump up and say
Speaker 4: the N word in front of people to be like
Speaker 4: because the stuff that they're saying is not new, it's
Speaker 4: not original. It's nothing creative or funny or that or
Speaker 4: that makes you think that. Like a dude a few
Speaker 4: years ago came to a comedy show at a bar
Speaker 4: with a KKKR and he was like, it's because he
Speaker 4: was roasting some a black dude and in his roast
Speaker 4: he was gonna throw his hood.
Speaker 1: On and there was a few people, there were no
Speaker 1: there were actually people who supported him like.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is comedy.
Speaker 1: I was like, if this is your comedy, you need
Speaker 1: to fall down all the flights of stairs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what the problem is is Louis c.
Speaker 5: K did that joke about uh, he did a joke
Speaker 5: about the N word, and he was the first white
Speaker 5: guy that ever first of all, like went there, right.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure it was the first well I saw
Speaker 2: the first.
Speaker 5: Like icmic that ever was able to like make an
Speaker 5: N word like an intelligent like use the N word
Speaker 5: in a joke that was perceived to be really intelligent.
Speaker 2: Right, it was an intelligent joke.
Speaker 5: And then everybody that saw that went, oh, if I
Speaker 5: do that, then I might be perceived as the intelligent,
Speaker 5: you know, edgy comic. And it's like you have to
Speaker 5: be Norm MacDonald said something about this in an interview
Speaker 5: like last week where he was like yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 5: this was a different interview. He was like, you have
Speaker 5: to be a master at something before you can be subversive,
Speaker 5: and like, you know what I'm saying, Like Picasso learned
Speaker 5: how to draw a perfect fucking circle before he was
Speaker 5: able to turn the circle into like seventeen squares and
Speaker 5: make it, you know what I'm saying. So it's like
Speaker 5: you have these comics that are like two years in
Speaker 5: and they're trying to do these jokes with two years
Speaker 5: of skill under their belt and it's a disastrous.
Speaker 4: But Colin, if you don't get a raggedy as face
Speaker 4: out myffet, like, it's crazy. The stuff that people say
Speaker 4: that they think right, is exactly that, Like, oh, I've
Speaker 4: been doing it for two years, that's that's time.
Speaker 1: But it's like, but how do you master five minutes
Speaker 1: about yourself before you talk about the world. Right? If
Speaker 1: you can't make your own personal situations funny, how can
Speaker 1: I trust that you can talk about racism?
Speaker 5: Right? Some people don't talk about themselves on stage, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, they'll just talk about they don't
Speaker 5: they don't want to.
Speaker 2: That's not what they do, which I understand. Yeah, and I.
Speaker 5: Also think that people should be allowed to make the dumb,
Speaker 5: fucking mistakes that you make when you're trying to learn
Speaker 5: to be funny.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but a lot of these people that are jumping
Speaker 4: on stage and they're like and then the nigger okay
Speaker 4: said like the people A lot of those people they
Speaker 4: don't do comedy for that long.
Speaker 2: No, they don't.
Speaker 5: That's because because it like they they're just cast off.
Speaker 5: It's like there there's a weeding out system that happens.
Speaker 5: But also they suck at it.
Speaker 1: That's not like a mistake, Like you should know that
Speaker 1: people have been doing that for so long that why
Speaker 1: would you even go there?
Speaker 4: Because not worth it because everyone thinks that they're the
Speaker 4: smartest and funniest person.
Speaker 2: And then they teach themselves.
Speaker 5: They go, oh, oh, I don't I'm not good enough
Speaker 5: to make this joke and this isn't even a joke,
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying. There were like when I
Speaker 5: went on stage in the beginning, my chair is like
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 2: I'm like, is this.
Speaker 7: Me?
Speaker 2: Am I doing this with? Who's doing this with their mind? Oh?
Speaker 2: That makes me feel thin? I don't know, I just
Speaker 2: feel like, you know, there's I forget where I was going.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I made some you know, the jokes I
Speaker 5: would make. I was like I was an idiot, you know.
Speaker 5: Like there's times when I walked away from stage and
Speaker 5: I'd be like, oh my god, like just feeling so
Speaker 5: ashamed of like what I said, because I was trying
Speaker 5: to make something work, you know what I mean, And
Speaker 5: I didn't know how to like formulate the thought I
Speaker 5: wasn't good enough for the joke, you know.
Speaker 2: But those you could go back and you can go
Speaker 2: back to those jokes and fix it.
Speaker 5: And you can fix it, but you gotta be That's
Speaker 5: why we have open mics. We gotta be allowed to
Speaker 5: just go Okay, you suck, but whatever.
Speaker 2: Man, if you needed to try that, Like yeah, but
Speaker 2: that's one thing.
Speaker 1: Now, Like you can't even you can't even go to
Speaker 1: an open mic with somebody without somebody like Instagram and
Speaker 1: it or like.
Speaker 2: Take an Instagram in an open mind, be surprised. So
Speaker 2: many people, so many people, so many people.
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm gonna go live at the mic, at
Speaker 1: the mic, at the live, go live.
Speaker 4: Can we talk about people go live at like concerts
Speaker 4: and stuff?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I saw this girl. She went live.
Speaker 3: She was at a concert, had the phone up.
Speaker 4: No one was watching the live, but it was up
Speaker 4: for so many songs, and it was like, no one
Speaker 4: wants to watch your grainy pham coverage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, get out, get out of my life.
Speaker 1: It's like, why are why are we going If you're
Speaker 1: around people and you're having a good time with the people,
Speaker 1: why are you going live?
Speaker 3: You gotta show people that you're having a better time.
Speaker 5: The only time that it's appropriate to go live is
Speaker 5: when you're walking alone down the street and you want
Speaker 5: someone to talk to and nobody wants to watch that
Speaker 5: ship either.
Speaker 2: They haven't made that on lawn on SVU. That's a
Speaker 2: that's an episode right there.
Speaker 1: Now he's going down the alley, yeah, and she's going
Speaker 1: live and then all of.
Speaker 2: A sudden somebody attacked her and her followers saw the man.
Speaker 2: Just see the scrolling up. What happened? Are you okay?
Speaker 5: Wait?
Speaker 4: Are alleys still a thing? I feel like I've never
Speaker 4: seen alleys in New York City.
Speaker 2: Alleys are a thing.
Speaker 3: They're in like California.
Speaker 2: In Boston.
Speaker 3: Yea, where are the New York alleys?
Speaker 2: I feel like, not that many?
Speaker 3: And the buildings all touch.
Speaker 2: Yeah they do. There's no room. Where is this alley?
Speaker 4: Like people are like stealing people's shoes and like people actually.
Speaker 1: The alley that Sarah, Jessica Parker Carrie got robbed in
Speaker 1: is it's still an alley.
Speaker 3: And so so yes, that's the all I was thinking about.
Speaker 3: I just I've never I.
Speaker 2: Know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: I'll show you or it's I'm not going to We're
Speaker 1: together and I'll go live.
Speaker 5: You guys should go live in an alley.
Speaker 4: So did you spend time. Can we talk about you,
Speaker 4: like as a kid, were you an angry baby?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I was. I was an angry baby. I was. Uh.
Speaker 5: There's pictures of me holding books that like trying to
Speaker 5: read and making a fist and like scowling.
Speaker 2: I was constantly scowling. I don't like I needed botox
Speaker 2: by the time I was five. I had. I had
Speaker 2: fucking lines in my forehead by the time I was
Speaker 2: five years old, because I just yeah, I was just
Speaker 2: all the time. I don't remember. I remember every like
Speaker 2: what is it childhood? Like video? You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: When your parents would so h there was recordings of me,
Speaker 5: and it's always just like my sisters, like playing in
Speaker 5: a pool and then me just sitting there just staring
Speaker 5: into space.
Speaker 2: Baby, no, it would I'd be like ten. It's basically
Speaker 2: my tire.
Speaker 3: You the baby or you the middle kids.
Speaker 2: I was the oldest.
Speaker 3: Oh damn, dude, you.
Speaker 1: Don't want your sisters to have a good time in
Speaker 1: the pool. But that sound like an older like the
Speaker 1: first Yeah, girl, maybe my brother was the oldest, and
Speaker 1: he is and has always been the one that cared
Speaker 1: the least, like he was never mad.
Speaker 3: My sister was the baby, and she was always Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: she's still angry.
Speaker 4: That's why she works out now she's now, she's angry
Speaker 4: and buff and that don't that, don't go, doesn't impress
Speaker 4: the me. I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 2: Did you get into any fights as a kid? Yes,
Speaker 2: I used to.
Speaker 5: Okay, so I threw a rock at the window of
Speaker 5: my kindergarten classroom. What yeah, I broke the window of
Speaker 5: my kindergarten classroom because oh this is embarrassing.
Speaker 2: So I was a fat kid and baby was a
Speaker 2: fat kid. Well that's the reason to be angry. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: oh yeah.
Speaker 4: Kids don't know they're fat when they're babies. No, we
Speaker 4: know when you're when you're like five six, you know
Speaker 4: that you're fat.
Speaker 2: You're a woman and you're a fat five year old.
Speaker 2: You know? Really, yes, I don't know.
Speaker 3: The world will let you know.
Speaker 1: Well, it depends on what kind of family you have,
Speaker 1: because some family twight.
Speaker 5: Family from the South, they're gonna let you know if
Speaker 5: you feel like they're all fat. Oh there's I mean
Speaker 5: they are, but they'll tell you if you are because
Speaker 5: they don't expect you to be.
Speaker 2: They'll be like, you're You're supposed to be thin, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? And it's like, well, what about you?
Speaker 2: You've got diabetes. You know you lost your foot on Thursday.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: You know I think we hit the fat quota. We
Speaker 1: can't say anymore on the podcast City Please.
Speaker 2: Fat Fat about her fat? True? I was fat.
Speaker 4: You're like, we can't say fat no more. I feel like,
Speaker 4: do you need a moment? No around the studio. We
Speaker 4: will not wait for you.
Speaker 1: I just so you are a fat kid, and because
Speaker 1: of that you throw a rock at the window.
Speaker 5: No. So this kid, you know how you used to
Speaker 5: like run after dude's for to get them to kiss
Speaker 5: you on the playground.
Speaker 2: Was in kindergarten. Yeah, you were fast. So yeah, I
Speaker 2: was masturbating by the time I was like eight. Wow,
Speaker 2: that's another podcast. What did you know what you were doing? No,
Speaker 2: I didn't know what I was doing.
Speaker 5: I was just rubbing my ship against everything in the house,
Speaker 5: doing horrible things.
Speaker 3: Like a dog dragging your vagina cross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly how I get off to this day.
Speaker 2: This clip is gonna haunt you, girl.
Speaker 1: We're gonna kick this and post this totally fine on
Speaker 1: the loop. It's totally fine, run back, run back, even.
Speaker 2: Nothing to be a shame.
Speaker 4: We're gonna put music behind it, and we're gonna chop
Speaker 4: it together and make it the theme to the Unofficial
Speaker 4: Express O, rubbing it on everything. Okay, So what happened
Speaker 4: to this window?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 5: Uh so this kid promised he would kiss me if
Speaker 5: I could chase him, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 5: he's like, uh, I couldn't fucking catch up to him.
Speaker 5: So he was like, if you throw this rock against
Speaker 5: the window, then I'll kiss you. But I had too
Speaker 5: much anger in me and I and I threw the
Speaker 5: rock and I broke the whole fucking window, and I
Speaker 5: got sent into the principal's office and he still never
Speaker 5: kissed me to this day. Was his name Matthew Silver
Speaker 5: And if you did just so you know, Matthew, I'll
Speaker 5: never fucking forget it. You made a promise, we had
Speaker 5: an agreement, and you renigged renigged.
Speaker 2: Joe.
Speaker 1: Can you google this guy? I'm gonna can we get
Speaker 1: a picture?
Speaker 5: Can we post see if we can find I've actually
Speaker 5: tried to find him on Facebook, Like this motherfucker just
Speaker 5: like an Italian level of just hatred for this guy.
Speaker 2: So Citney.
Speaker 3: Were you ever in a fight?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: In elementary school or primary school, A lot of.
Speaker 1: People picked on me, so I didn't really give him fights.
Speaker 1: I feel like I fought with my cousins a lot.
Speaker 1: I would get in arguments with my family. Then I
Speaker 1: would go to school and just all of the picking on.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not. I don't want to say too much.
Speaker 2: I don't want to have a problem. Yeah. Really as
Speaker 2: a I feel like children don't care. Yeah, like I
Speaker 2: would fight with anybody. My first day of school, I
Speaker 2: got into a fight.
Speaker 1: And by fight, I mean I smashed a toy car
Speaker 1: into this kid's head because he was playing with a
Speaker 1: toy that I thought was mine.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. That's beautiful. I think that's great. Is it beautiful?
Speaker 2: It is?
Speaker 5: His thing?
Speaker 3: Was Terrence Chang?
Speaker 2: Hey, Terrence, remember everybody's first and lastin.
Speaker 3: I remember that.
Speaker 2: I remember the people that wronged you.
Speaker 3: Okay, I mean I wronged him.
Speaker 2: But you know, Terrence graduated with like honors or whatever.
Speaker 2: How you doing?
Speaker 3: But you know what, I don't know, check in ter
Speaker 3: That's fine, aunt.
Speaker 4: But I remember that because my mother likes to tell
Speaker 4: me that story, like every once in a while.
Speaker 2: She Remember when you.
Speaker 4: Hear that, boy, you've always had that attitude, remember, and
Speaker 4: it's like shut up, like everybody in here is angry.
Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, I mean I poured milk on all over
Speaker 5: this guy's head once.
Speaker 2: Uh, because he said I was like big boned or
Speaker 2: something yet but you were big bone I was.
Speaker 5: But you know what, and you know what's fucked about that?
Speaker 5: I poured milk on his head and then I had
Speaker 5: to write him the apology. Even though he called me fat,
Speaker 5: I was like, wait a second, I still to this
Speaker 5: day don't believe. I'm like, he deserved what I did.
Speaker 3: What was his name?
Speaker 2: Yusuf harden Boom what.
Speaker 3: It's crazy that you remember these names.
Speaker 2: But I will say, it's all about the reaction.
Speaker 1: If somebody wrongs you and you react to it, then
Speaker 1: that depends on if you're going to get away with
Speaker 1: it or not.
Speaker 2: If you would have just if I don't do anything,
Speaker 2: of course I'm gonna get away with it. That's dumb.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's how you do it, because, yeah, if
Speaker 4: you're trying to get back at somebody and you want
Speaker 4: to get away with it, you got to be smart
Speaker 4: about how you do it.
Speaker 2: See that was My problem for a long time is
Speaker 2: I didn't know. I had no timing, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 5: I would do it immediately whenever second it pissed me off.
Speaker 2: It was just like I was. It was, and people
Speaker 2: were like Jesus Christ. That escalated quickly, Sidney, I'm.
Speaker 4: Sure you've done something mean to somebody that you don't
Speaker 4: want to tell us me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the meanest?
Speaker 4: You never like cut the back of somebody's hair, or
Speaker 4: like laid fun of somebody behind their back.
Speaker 3: Like come on, somebody's I mean, no, I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I've told this story so many times. I got I
Speaker 1: got pregnant.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I had two men at the same
Speaker 2: damn time.
Speaker 1: Two men, and one of them gave me money for
Speaker 1: you know what, and I took that money and bought
Speaker 1: an iPad and then did what I had to do.
Speaker 2: Sorry, thank you. Wow, you can't you can't let me live,
Speaker 2: I said, iPad.
Speaker 3: I'm like, dude, that's too current. Like that means it
Speaker 3: happened recently.
Speaker 1: It was a nano and it was like, wow, Sis,
Speaker 1: and then you do. I did what I had to
Speaker 1: do on my mother's insurance, and then she found out.
Speaker 1: She's like what is this anesthesiologist?
Speaker 4: I was like, no, Sydney. I mean, that story is
Speaker 4: hilarious whether you shared it again. But I meant like,
Speaker 4: what's the meanest thing you ever done with somebody? Is
Speaker 4: the meaning to tell somebody you are the father and
Speaker 4: you're not, and.
Speaker 2: Then you just put ninety songs on a shuffle.
Speaker 1: Every time my plate and someone I was like, that
Speaker 1: sounds like me not having a baby.
Speaker 2: You know what, that's not mean, That's just.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: I can't believe I said that. Yeah, so what song?
Speaker 3: What song do you think about? When you do you
Speaker 3: tie to that memory?
Speaker 2: It was usher Okay.
Speaker 4: Now, whenever I hear that last my homies, whenever I
Speaker 4: hear that song, whenever you hear that song, I want
Speaker 4: you to think of Sydney not having a baby.
Speaker 2: Sydney's not pregnant.
Speaker 5: God.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I feel like me being angry. I always like,
Speaker 1: try to count to ten.
Speaker 3: Does that work?
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean does it work?
Speaker 5: You know what? The only thing that works is yelling.
Speaker 5: That's the only thing that works when you need to
Speaker 5: get your anger.
Speaker 1: I'm so angry that I'm stop myself and then just
Speaker 1: start counting.
Speaker 2: That's a tactic you can't.
Speaker 5: You can't be that angry if you're count right, if
Speaker 5: you think to count, you're not angry.
Speaker 3: I can't do that and I'm just counting back.
Speaker 1: I think it's just like working in the hospitality for
Speaker 1: so long the industry, like you can't always pop off,
Speaker 1: especially if like you're making a lot of money and
Speaker 1: my bills is dependent on it. It's a lot of
Speaker 1: times where you gotta hold your tongue and you better count,
Speaker 1: and you better take a shot of patron and then
Speaker 1: you go curse that mother.
Speaker 2: Look, see, this is why they sign that check after
Speaker 2: they give you that percent.
Speaker 1: You know what, let me tell you how I feel
Speaker 1: and then they have American Express and they cancel everything.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, that has happened, yeah to you. Yes I have.
Speaker 1: I've definitely waited for everything to be signed off, and
Speaker 1: right before they leave, I let them know how I
Speaker 1: really feel, and they'll call in and cancel the charge.
Speaker 2: Oh and they won't even be like, oh the food
Speaker 2: was bad.
Speaker 1: They'll be like, I didn't have a good time there,
Speaker 1: and American Express will will say sure, okay, and we'll.
Speaker 2: Take it off. That's why American Express is the best
Speaker 2: credit card to have.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but a lot of places don't take MX because
Speaker 4: they know that they like cost the most or something
Speaker 4: for like businesses.
Speaker 2: Yea to have it, but good to know, Yes you should.
Speaker 3: When I get some money, oh, my ex and a
Speaker 3: credit card.
Speaker 1: My ex, he would go to night clubs, buy bottles,
Speaker 1: leave without signing, and then call American Express the next day.
Speaker 5: Y'all.
Speaker 1: I wasn't there, that was not me. Cancel that please,
Speaker 1: and the American Express would be like, okay, yeah, but
Speaker 1: how many times can you do that BEFOREX is like.
Speaker 2: Yours.
Speaker 1: We were at the club and we saw you get
Speaker 1: several bottles with flares. Well, he was so short you
Speaker 1: couldn't see him on the damn y But he's not
Speaker 1: bringing the bottles.
Speaker 3: It's the women are bringing. You're bringing the bottles, right,
Speaker 3: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: It's so funny.
Speaker 1: But yeah, being in hospitality and just serving people for
Speaker 1: so long, you have to you have to hold your tongue.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm not the anger management. I don't manage it.
Speaker 2: Are you angry in relationship to ships?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: Orships?
Speaker 5: No, it's weird in my relationships and like personal relationships,
Speaker 5: I don't. I don't really get angry at the at
Speaker 5: the men that I'm with, I don't. I will call
Speaker 5: up a girlfriend and be like this motherfucker, oh uh
Speaker 5: needs needs something like like I'll just be like they're retarded.
Speaker 2: I can't, I can't be with this person.
Speaker 3: But what happens when you when you can't do that?
Speaker 3: We happened?
Speaker 2: Sorry if you're and you heard that joke?
Speaker 3: Fat what happens when you're like you blow up?
Speaker 4: Have you ever blown up when a dude and you
Speaker 4: just feel like if it like, I just don't, we
Speaker 4: don't need to.
Speaker 5: Be Yeah, there's been a couple of relationships that were dark,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: There's been a few of those like oh god, I'm
Speaker 2: trying to think. There was a dude that I was with.
Speaker 5: That I he but he was really the abusive one.
Speaker 2: So it was kind of like, you know what I mean, truth,
Speaker 2: he kind of dreve he can't.
Speaker 5: He kind of drove me to that point where I
Speaker 5: was like I'd be like, Okay, well, i I'm like moving,
Speaker 5: you know what i mean. And then I'd be like
Speaker 5: packing up my ship leaving the house that I was
Speaker 5: fucking paying for what you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 5: I would be paying the rent he was just like
Speaker 5: staying there.
Speaker 2: He was a fucking alcoholic, you know. And I'd be
Speaker 2: walking out the door and he'd be like, you're a
Speaker 2: fucking slut.
Speaker 5: And then I'd come back in and I just like
Speaker 5: throw start throwing ship at him, you know, and then.
Speaker 1: You started unpacking your stuff. You're like, well, if you're
Speaker 1: gonna call me a sled, I'm staying now.
Speaker 5: No, not even I was like, I just wanted to
Speaker 5: come back because he called me a sled to throw
Speaker 5: shit at him, and then and then I walked out,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So there were times when I.
Speaker 3: Was never thrown anything at a man.
Speaker 1: I feel like I see that in like movies and
Speaker 1: music videos all the time, But I've never thrown if
Speaker 1: you get mad at late or a glass of wine, no,
Speaker 1: nothing like that in a man's face. No.
Speaker 2: Oh, I used to.
Speaker 5: I threw a glass of wine once love him top.
Speaker 5: This was this, Yeah, I was very drunk. This was
Speaker 5: at my dad's wedding.
Speaker 2: Wow, at a wedding, at James wedding, at my dad's wedding.
Speaker 2: That's wow. Rude.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: You know what's really disrespectful is I thought that I'd
Speaker 5: thrown it at my sister.
Speaker 2: And then I found us years later.
Speaker 5: I was like, I was like, I don't know why
Speaker 5: this sister's being such a bitch to me, Like I
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, Like I didn't even I
Speaker 5: did nothing to her. And my other sister was like,
Speaker 5: you threw a glass of wine at her head at
Speaker 5: dad's wedding, and I was like.
Speaker 2: I thought that was you.
Speaker 5: So I didn't even know who i'd thrown it at.
Speaker 5: I was just going off.
Speaker 2: But what is that's okay for that to happen. It's
Speaker 2: just always that's.
Speaker 1: Really not okay for that.
Speaker 2: It's not okay for that to happen.
Speaker 3: How many times has your dad been married?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Just my mom and the and the other woman,
Speaker 2: the woman who's wedding you ruined? Oh god, okay, but
Speaker 2: you've been you've been with your man for how long?
Speaker 2: Five years? Five years? What's the worst fight you've had?
Speaker 2: Worst fight we've ever had? Uh? So I had to
Speaker 2: I had to leave town for a little while. I
Speaker 2: came back. The house was dirty, and I was like, listen,
Speaker 2: I love you, and I was like trying so hard
Speaker 2: to keep it together. How long are you going for
Speaker 2: a week? Okay? Oh that's a long time to fuck
Speaker 2: some shit up.
Speaker 1: Man, you put one thing down and it's like fifty
Speaker 1: thousand things.
Speaker 3: You should have had him give you a card for incidental.
Speaker 2: I mean, I for real.
Speaker 5: I was like, this is I came home and I
Speaker 5: was like, this looks like we're nineteen, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, this looks like the apartment of a nineteen your
Speaker 2: frat house.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I was like, I just like texted and
Speaker 5: I was like, I just need you to know that
Speaker 5: I really need the place to be clean. I just
Speaker 5: wanted to look like we're in our thirties. That's all
Speaker 5: I asked, you know. And I think, which is not crazy,
Speaker 5: which is not crazy.
Speaker 3: Which is something that it should look like if you're
Speaker 3: in your thirties.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but you know, like men and they So he
Speaker 5: called me that and he was like, oh, this is
Speaker 5: like all you ever do is like tell me I'm
Speaker 5: not doing shit, tell me you're always trying to fucking
Speaker 5: nag me.
Speaker 3: And I was like, it's like, my house is dirty.
Speaker 3: I literally was.
Speaker 2: Like, my house looks like shit. I'm not blind, Like
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna go back on this and be like, oh,
Speaker 5: maybe I'm being unreasonable, like this is a fucking basic
Speaker 5: thing that I'm asking for. And I was like, and
Speaker 5: if you need somebody who is going to need less
Speaker 5: from you, please go out and fucking find them, Like
Speaker 5: I was like, please, you.
Speaker 2: Sound triggered right now.
Speaker 5: No to day to this day, I'm like, I cannot
Speaker 5: fucking stand up when dudes are like, oh, yeah, you
Speaker 5: ask this so much, and I'm like, I'm not asking
Speaker 5: for so much.
Speaker 3: This is basic level, entry level.
Speaker 2: Yes, so you live here too, you should.
Speaker 4: You don't want spider webs exactly, face when you wake
Speaker 4: up at a.
Speaker 2: Certain point you go, do you respect yourself? Like what?
Speaker 1: Also I'm saying no, it's a man.
Speaker 4: But also like not all men are like that, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean? Like some men like they they
Speaker 4: won't even ever see a mess. They're just like stepping
Speaker 4: over like beer cans, and they got like a hoarder
Speaker 4: house and they're like, this is just the way my
Speaker 4: house looks like they don't see it.
Speaker 2: But they don't see it, And I'm like that is crazy.
Speaker 5: It makes me insane, Like when I come home to
Speaker 5: a dirty house, I'm I lose it O C D. No.
Speaker 4: I feel like everything that you're saying people who are
Speaker 4: like clean clean, you o c D.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, you haven't.
Speaker 5: I When people say you have OCD, it sounds like
Speaker 5: a compliment to me. That's it's like, yes, absolutely, I'm
Speaker 5: a clean person. I like ship to be organized.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't want I'm holding on by a fucking thread.
Speaker 5: I just want my apartment to look nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean. Low key, I feel
Speaker 2: like i'm OCD.
Speaker 4: I like things to be clean, yes, like my kitchen
Speaker 4: to be clean, and like my bathroom to be clean.
Speaker 3: And you're not eating in my bed like that. That's
Speaker 3: grow crumbs.
Speaker 1: That that used to kill me when I was staying
Speaker 1: with my ex.
Speaker 2: Crumbs all the time.
Speaker 3: But whose crumbs your crumbs?
Speaker 2: See, we couldn't figure out who.
Speaker 4: It was community crumbs because you're talking and I'm like sitting,
Speaker 4: they were probably your.
Speaker 2: Crumb No I anymore.
Speaker 3: But when you were with your we're trying to.
Speaker 2: Dust.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean you've been in a relationship for
Speaker 1: so long, and you have friendship for so long, you
Speaker 1: definitely have to hold back your anger.
Speaker 2: You definitely have to. No, you don't.
Speaker 3: When I'm in a relationship for a long time, I
Speaker 3: can be as me as I want to be.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you don't have to hold back your anger like
Speaker 5: you don't. You Also, you can have your anger without
Speaker 5: like being your anger, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like you can you can tell somebody like come through,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: You can tell somebody like, look, I'm I'm so mad
Speaker 5: right now that I can't find the words for how
Speaker 5: much I hate you and just like say that in
Speaker 5: a in a s you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: But that's a real lifetime movie of you.
Speaker 2: Loo, I can't explain. I can't. It's beyond the reach
Speaker 2: of words how much you annoy me right now? Like
Speaker 2: that's you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: If you're talking to somebody who's not as angry as you,
Speaker 4: that'll go fine. If you're talking to somebody who's also angry,
Speaker 4: that's not gonna go. Well yeah, somebody who's all you're
Speaker 4: gonna do is bump hi.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So then you have to be the person that's like, uh,
Speaker 5: that sees things.
Speaker 2: For for what they actually are. And here's you need
Speaker 2: a rational person in an argument. Yeah.
Speaker 5: And here's the thing is, I don't find myself getting
Speaker 5: angry unless it's about something rational and that's like the
Speaker 5: benefit of I think my anger.
Speaker 3: Die for you.
Speaker 2: I don't. Well, I don't like everything you met about
Speaker 2: is rational. You're right, I'm wrong. Well, Like, here's the thing,
Speaker 2: is like if it's not like my sister.
Speaker 5: Texted me the other the other day that she was
Speaker 5: going out to dinner with my friend, right, and I
Speaker 5: was like, that's my fucking friend, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like I immediately got so mad.
Speaker 5: And then I was like, hold on, Like you don't
Speaker 5: own like you don't have ownership over people.
Speaker 2: No, you do.
Speaker 3: What's between your sister and your friend five years?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, they shouldn't hanging out. That's your friend at all, that's.
Speaker 1: Your Why wait, why hang it out? I want to
Speaker 1: know what was y'all doing? Y'all celebrating without me? Was
Speaker 1: y'all doing something without me?
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm on a plane on the way back
Speaker 5: from La. I can't be there to hang out. They
Speaker 5: didn't ask me to hang out.
Speaker 2: Why would they? Because they know I'm in La hang No,
Speaker 2: they why would that?
Speaker 3: That's your permission?
Speaker 4: Yea, Honestly, why are we like that about our for
Speaker 4: certain friends, like certain people you don't care about. But
Speaker 4: like if somebody hangs out with your other friend, or
Speaker 4: two of your friends hang out that you introduced to
Speaker 4: each other and you see him chilling.
Speaker 3: What's happening? He Yeah, Like it's not real friendship.
Speaker 5: But I don't think them ever makes sense because you
Speaker 5: don't have ownership over a person.
Speaker 2: You got to just let people be and let people
Speaker 2: do what they want to do. That's it.
Speaker 5: That's like, you can't get mad about that. If you
Speaker 5: are mad about it, it's fine, but it's about something else.
Speaker 5: It's not about them hanging out, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: It's about you feeling insecure.
Speaker 3: And that's I don't like.
Speaker 2: That word at all. Damn.
Speaker 3: That's studying therapy at.
Speaker 2: I've just been in therapy for so long. I might
Speaker 2: as well have a fucking degree.
Speaker 3: What made you go to therapy? Like start going?
Speaker 2: I don't. I was just unhappy. I was just really unhappy,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. When you're when your whole
Speaker 2: life is just like you're like, I'm disappointed in myself.
Speaker 1: Oh that's disappointed is a word that white people like
Speaker 1: to use, and that means like real, like it's really
Speaker 1: upsetting for y'all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I'm disappointed in you you disappointed in me?
Speaker 2: Does it hurt your feelings?
Speaker 4: I mean not really, I'm not disappointed. I'm not disappointed
Speaker 4: in what I'm saying. If I said that to you,
Speaker 4: would you like, would you like?
Speaker 2: You know? How?
Speaker 3: Like on TV?
Speaker 2: White moms will be like, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, disappointed means a lot when it's coming from somebody
Speaker 1: you look up to.
Speaker 2: That hurts hard.
Speaker 1: That hurts harder, Yeah than saying like, fuck you, I
Speaker 1: don't like you. Saying disappointed. Disappointed is like it's a
Speaker 1: real emotion. That means you I let you down and
Speaker 1: you're feeling it, and you care that I let you down.
Speaker 2: You care you.
Speaker 4: Disappointed affects you the same way it affects us. But
Speaker 4: I'm assuming the word it does.
Speaker 1: You can see it her disappointed in a long time
Speaker 1: because people don't be telling me that.
Speaker 2: They'll be like, I'm just disappointed. I ain't gonna tell
Speaker 2: her though.
Speaker 3: She don't need to know that she really let me down.
Speaker 2: Girl, you dropped the.
Speaker 3: Ball on that.
Speaker 2: I really needed that thirty dollars. That's disappointed.
Speaker 3: That you have friends that.
Speaker 2: So disappointed and how much money you needed.
Speaker 4: Thirty dollars have you ever been angry at work that
Speaker 4: you like, blew up and got fired for it or
Speaker 4: you got.
Speaker 2: A yes, yes, I remember I was. I was a waitress.
Speaker 2: This is why I can't be in the service industry.
Speaker 2: I was a waitress and I walked I remember walking
Speaker 2: into work one day. I tried to throw these people
Speaker 2: out for talking to me in a disrespectful way.
Speaker 3: But what did they say?
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: You can't remember, but I do remember that it was
Speaker 1: disrespect I don't remember.
Speaker 2: I don't even think. I don't think it was even
Speaker 2: that disrespectful.
Speaker 5: I think I was just like, my feelings were hurt
Speaker 5: by how dismissive they were.
Speaker 2: Like I remember walking up.
Speaker 5: I didn't know how being a waitress worked, like, I
Speaker 5: didn't know you go there to be disrespected, you know,
Speaker 5: bas that is what a service job is, you know
Speaker 5: that was I did not know that. I just thought,
Speaker 5: you know, you were going to be a fun waitress.
Speaker 5: I was always watching the fucking coyote Ugly. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna be the neighborhood waitress. Everybody's gonna love me.
Speaker 2: No. I loved in there and I was like, hey, guys.
Speaker 5: How you doing, And they they did I just have
Speaker 5: like sort of an accent when I.
Speaker 2: Said that, where were you working? Maybe? Uh?
Speaker 5: I was a Don Giovanni's pizza place in Yes, how.
Speaker 3: Did you get a job like that?
Speaker 2: It's always dudes that are not from yeah, United States? Yeah, immigrants.
Speaker 3: Well, there was a lot of green guards at Don Giovanni.
Speaker 2: Listen.
Speaker 5: There was a long period of time where I did
Speaker 5: not have any ID.
Speaker 2: Uh where I just did not have ID. You were
Speaker 2: an illegal, No, I was just I was just Uh.
Speaker 5: I was just an alcoholic and I couldn't find I
Speaker 5: couldn't get myself to go to.
Speaker 1: The d m V and like together, let me find out,
Speaker 1: you're not Anglo Saxon and you're Venezuelan.
Speaker 2: From South America. Love and bleaching.
Speaker 4: I see it, Marie, I see it. She rolled her
Speaker 4: ours earlier. You were working at a pizza place. I was,
Speaker 4: And I didn't like the way people talk to you
Speaker 4: at the pizza pizza bath.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not allowed to.
Speaker 2: Be No, I wasn't. Listen.
Speaker 5: There was a long period of time in my life
Speaker 5: where I could qualify as like certifiably insane because I
Speaker 5: drank so much and because my ego is all over
Speaker 5: the place, my mood swings were all over the place.
Speaker 5: I didn't know what and was, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: And then I quld drinking and all this shit stopped
Speaker 5: happening in my life.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh that was meal and you
Speaker 2: were like oh, I was like, oh, that was my fault,
Speaker 2: which is.
Speaker 1: Crazy, But because when I was drinking, I was not angry.
Speaker 1: I wasn't I don't really care. And now that I'm sober,
Speaker 1: I care about everything. Everything is fucking annoying or stressful.
Speaker 1: My feelings are hers. So it's just it's all that
Speaker 1: built up. I was taken so much as a drunk that, yeah,
Speaker 1: that I'm sober, I'm like, oh I got I gotta
Speaker 1: get Yeah, I got to kick something, right.
Speaker 5: I mean, here's the thing, Like I don't know. I'm like, dude,
Speaker 5: did I care or did I not care? You know,
Speaker 5: It's like you're you're so drunk, you don't really feel
Speaker 5: it whatever you're going through, but.
Speaker 2: You do, uh, you do act like you feel it.
Speaker 5: Like I remember, Sydney, I remember a lot of tears,
Speaker 5: Like talking to you remember like I remember a lot
Speaker 5: of tears. So you were feeling shit, but it was
Speaker 5: like it was just like not. It was like after
Speaker 5: the fact, you know what I mean, it was to
Speaker 5: come out of it, and you're like, oh God Jesus Christ,
Speaker 5: you know, and I've been there, and I was like,
Speaker 5: you know, now that I'm sober, I'm like, I still
Speaker 5: care about everything, but it's just like learning the ship,
Speaker 5: but learning the difference between something that you should give
Speaker 5: a shit about and something that you should really just
Speaker 5: put away.
Speaker 2: I feel like there's also something that happens as you
Speaker 2: get older though, too. For sure, as you age, you're like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I don't really care about this.
Speaker 3: I don't need this in my life, Like, I don't
Speaker 3: have time to deal with this.
Speaker 5: Yes, have you ever had like a friend, you know,
Speaker 5: like as you're growing older, you have a friend who
Speaker 5: disappoints you, and you go, you know, I unders I
Speaker 5: don't need that friend that much.
Speaker 2: I do that all the time now.
Speaker 5: I just like, I don't feel like making the effort
Speaker 5: to try to fix this. And you know, I got
Speaker 5: my friends. I don't need new people. I was looking
Speaker 5: at cutting back, you know, I'm over staffed anyway.
Speaker 3: The Christmas card list was getting too long.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's too many people to keep up with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you look at the months and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: there's there's three birthdays in October. One of them got
Speaker 1: to go the friend at the end of up you
Speaker 1: gotta go say Halloween.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like three birthdays in February and mine's At first,
Speaker 1: it's like, well I still gott to be their friend
Speaker 1: until after my birthday.
Speaker 3: Well, good thing your birthdays.
Speaker 1: On the second, I just hold on to them. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, well the birthday party got to be
Speaker 1: I know she's gonna bring that good old apple pie.
Speaker 2: So this is.
Speaker 5: Why I don't have birthdays, because I don't want to
Speaker 5: overwhelm my friends. Also because I don't want to face
Speaker 5: the rejection in case people don't show up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's rough tomorrow, and it's like, oh, go come,
Speaker 2: it's so scary. This looks like is anybody going to
Speaker 2: go it?
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, last year, back at the ranch, packed to the brim,
Speaker 1: random people that I was like, I've never seen you ever,
Speaker 1: who are you?
Speaker 2: And that's Marie's friend from like twenty years ago.
Speaker 4: I'm sure, Okay, I'm sure, yeah sure from high school
Speaker 4: on college camp is crazy.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, it's so it's me I don't
Speaker 2: know okay. On the new one, Yeah, they're looking at
Speaker 2: you like we don't know you.
Speaker 3: Yeah they were.
Speaker 2: They were actually really nice. They're like, hey, I see
Speaker 2: pictures of you all the time. Oh I should probably
Speaker 2: be nicer. You're right rude?
Speaker 3: See that route route?
Speaker 2: Do you people show up that are supposed to anyway?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And the people who aren't supposed to be like, well,
Speaker 3: how did you get here? Who gave you the door code?
Speaker 2: How do you treat those people? Do you get angry?
Speaker 2: Do those people would piss me off?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Like the people that show up? Oh my god? What
Speaker 2: if they bring something like bottle? Uh or like a
Speaker 2: piece of cake? If they bring something, then great, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Like, Okay, Reggie came to fucking Emmy party the other night,
Speaker 5: which Reggie Conquest.
Speaker 2: Okay, what Amy party? It wasn't really an Emmy party.
Speaker 2: It was like an Emmy you see how bit just
Speaker 2: slide back. I didn't invite you. It wasn't really it was
Speaker 2: a hangout.
Speaker 5: It wasn't at my place. It was last minute, it
Speaker 5: wasn't at my place. And but it was Reggie's idea
Speaker 5: to have this, like get together at Macaulla's, right, Okay,
Speaker 5: so he he like set this whole thing up, shows
Speaker 5: up three hours late, like asks if he can bring
Speaker 5: like uh plates and cups and everybody already fucking ate
Speaker 5: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: That kind of ship. If if that was my place,
Speaker 2: I'd be furious.
Speaker 1: He suggested her house and then didn't bring anything, and
Speaker 1: then didn't bring anything, and and.
Speaker 3: Then got there three hours later.
Speaker 2: Yes, so she hid the pot roast before.
Speaker 5: He got there so that he couldn't have any It
Speaker 5: was beautiful.
Speaker 2: That feels like something Reggie would do though.
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course, also, how long are the Emmys? That
Speaker 4: he was three hours late? The Emmys is three hours late, right,
Speaker 4: So what you know?
Speaker 2: I don't know?
Speaker 3: Was the pot roads cute?
Speaker 5: That was a good Did you guys watch the Emm's
Speaker 5: by the way, that.
Speaker 2: Made me angry?
Speaker 3: I haven't watched the Emmys and I don't watch work shows.
Speaker 2: Nah, I couldn't.
Speaker 3: I was why what what made you angry about it?
Speaker 2: Just the hosts?
Speaker 5: No, no, just everything about it. I was just like
Speaker 5: I thought, actually that Chay and Colin did a good job.
Speaker 5: I just feel like it was so the kind of
Speaker 5: laughter that if I don't know if you guys have
Speaker 5: ever done like a corporate gig where people can't laugh
Speaker 5: in front of their coworkers. Oh yeah, that's what the
Speaker 5: Emmys felt like, you know what I mean. They it
Speaker 5: all just felt like them being like, but those jokes
Speaker 5: weren't for them.
Speaker 2: I know, they were really playing to the people at home,
Speaker 2: which is perfect, right, they're smart. Yeah, maybe what Michelle
Speaker 2: Wolf did.
Speaker 5: But then everybody on Twitter is like just following whatever
Speaker 5: the Emmy audience did, you know what I mean, They
Speaker 5: were just like, Oh, I can't do this.
Speaker 2: I can't listen to this.
Speaker 5: I'm so uncomfortable because like nobody can think for themselves.
Speaker 4: Every joke is not for everybody, right, and them corporate
Speaker 4: gigs be real rough. One of the roughest shows that
Speaker 4: I've ever done. And I just remembered because I suppressed it.
Speaker 2: I did because I tried to completely.
Speaker 3: Forgot until you said that, and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: one of my worst shows.
Speaker 2: Wash.
Speaker 1: You know how Walgreens has like the red Nose Day, yes,
Speaker 1: to like raise money for children or something. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: told me about that, but she was like, Marie, when
Speaker 1: you said that, I was like, I think you probably
Speaker 1: think that you didn't do, but you said people can
Speaker 1: were coming up to.
Speaker 2: You and tell you later. But in the moment when
Speaker 2: I'm on stage and no one. First of all, they
Speaker 2: showed a.
Speaker 1: Sad ass video of Julia Roberts with like children that
Speaker 1: had not eaten and were dying.
Speaker 3: And then they're like, next Marie Foston doing company, and.
Speaker 1: It was like, you got to say that from sad
Speaker 1: Aaron Brockovich to this, uh huh. And I went on
Speaker 1: stage and you know, it was a bunch of like
Speaker 1: old white dudes in there with like pinstripe suits or whatever.
Speaker 1: And I was like, look at all this money in here,
Speaker 1: and they nobody left. And then everything I said after that,
Speaker 1: they were just like waiting for me to finish. And
Speaker 1: I don't know how much time I was supposed to do,
Speaker 1: but I wrapped myself up. I was like, well, the
Speaker 1: open block on Rose, so I'm gonna just go over there,
Speaker 1: and they were like no, and uh, you know, I.
Speaker 2: Got paid for it. You got paid.
Speaker 4: That's all that I went on stage, which I love
Speaker 4: that fact. Yeah, I envelope with the cash in it, yeah,
Speaker 4: but I love that it.
Speaker 3: Was such a rough, corporate little gig for the kids.
Speaker 2: But I did it, you know, for the kids for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 2: for the kids. But Julia Roberts wasn't there. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: you got you got paid. She probably got paid to.
Speaker 1: But the people who come to those things, they're not
Speaker 1: trying to laugh anyway, like.
Speaker 3: You're yeah, they're there for like work.
Speaker 2: You don't know why they fucking get comics for this
Speaker 2: ship this kind of shiit save you're not we can't
Speaker 2: say I can't not only that.
Speaker 5: Most of us don't give a fuck about anything but ourselves.
Speaker 3: Yeah right, just because she with a harp to play
Speaker 3: for thirty minutes. Yeah, and then like donate get the.
Speaker 5: Kind of artist that gives a ship about other people,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean out the art form.
Speaker 1: Get a one legged spoken word person.
Speaker 3: Yes, like to be like the kids, yes, yes, yes, I.
Speaker 2: Mean they need money. The guys got one leg. They
Speaker 2: wanted to be like my friend did. The places that
Speaker 2: they do comedy is so weird.
Speaker 4: My friend was at a sex party and they were
Speaker 4: like we they hired a comedian and.
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, they get people in the move
Speaker 1: and it was like, what don't want to dicks out?
Speaker 3: And people got on collars, wait in here.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry what she.
Speaker 4: Did comedy at a sex party. They were like, we
Speaker 4: want they wanted somebody to warm up.
Speaker 2: That's how you know the sex party is trashed.
Speaker 3: Like I was there, sis, I went to the party.
Speaker 2: Just to see.
Speaker 1: They were like, okay, so the cold cuts are not
Speaker 1: gonna cut it, so we gotta.
Speaker 3: Get some comedy. Comedy it was.
Speaker 2: It was a lot.
Speaker 3: That's a great show.
Speaker 2: Actually, a lot of.
Speaker 4: People were like it was like like like like a
Speaker 4: comic con for like people who want to have sex
Speaker 4: in a like a warehouse place.
Speaker 5: That's what most swinger parties are is just like hideously ugly.
Speaker 2: People got a lot of swingers party set.
Speaker 1: No I went to one, so you so the right
Speaker 1: side of you is ugly.
Speaker 5: I went to one. So I went to one and listen,
Speaker 5: this was on me. This was my fault because I
Speaker 5: went to a swingers party with Seaton at like I
Speaker 5: think it was in January. It was one of the
Speaker 5: coldest days of the year. If people are trudging out
Speaker 5: in the snow to fuck at when it's six degrees.
Speaker 2: Out, those people are crazy are.
Speaker 5: Very lonely, Okay, I mean that's a very lonely type
Speaker 5: of person.
Speaker 1: I want to know the person who got there first,
Speaker 1: like yo, no, no, no, what about the committee that was like,
Speaker 1: we still we can't cancel this our deposits.
Speaker 2: It was the worst thing. I walked in there.
Speaker 5: I knew it was over before it even started because
Speaker 5: I walked in there and I took off my coat.
Speaker 5: Wore I remember what I wore. You might as well, Like,
Speaker 5: I think I came from a spot. You He was like,
Speaker 5: do you want to go to like check the OU.
Speaker 5: I was like sure, So I came from like a
Speaker 5: spot to meet him. I take off my coat. It
Speaker 5: drops on the ground and I went, oh and I
Speaker 5: had just been in a comedy club.
Speaker 3: So did they have carpet?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Yes, they had a six carpet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you had GE's on your coat and everything was
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, just get it, just
Speaker 2: keep my coat.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. I didn't take any of my things off.
Speaker 4: But there was food at the sex party that I
Speaker 4: was at, and no one else was eating except me.
Speaker 2: That's the other day. I don't know why they have food.
Speaker 2: Why do they food at a sex party.
Speaker 1: There's one person that's like, you know, I can't really funk.
Speaker 2: I just literally I'm here. I'm here for the cheese.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this disgusting you anything at the Swinger party,
Speaker 1: he was on an empty stomach looking at terrible dick.
Speaker 2: That ain't my scene, that's not my lane. Literally me,
Speaker 2: we itto got six months to recover from that night.
Speaker 2: So how long did you guys stay at the Swingers party?
Speaker 2: I mean probably we walked.
Speaker 5: We walked around it and like looked around it and
Speaker 5: we were just like joking with each other for a while.
Speaker 6: We'll drinks in the You guys have to I mean honestly,
Speaker 6: you have to go because it is the most hideous,
Speaker 6: Like it was like the place where they it was
Speaker 6: ground zero for.
Speaker 2: Pink eye, you know what I mean, Like it was,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, and.
Speaker 3: You walked in and immediately took your coat off.
Speaker 5: I would have just would you have to you have
Speaker 5: to take off your stuff because people rob you.
Speaker 2: I think that's what I was thinking. I was like,
Speaker 2: this is the kind of place where people will rob you.
Speaker 3: Where was the sex party?
Speaker 2: I don't borrow this, son.
Speaker 3: Like you were in the Bronx Dude, Like, where were you?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: But it's like it was I can't go to a
Speaker 1: sex party, especially with Marie because Marie were like, don't
Speaker 1: look and then and he's like she.
Speaker 3: Turned, you know when you're like look over there, let's
Speaker 3: don't don't, don't do.
Speaker 1: And then you took the one like where yes, his
Speaker 1: arms like yarms, yo, he's missing one where.
Speaker 3: His balls that's sitting She's rude.
Speaker 2: That's so funny.
Speaker 5: There was literally a couple that I remember because there
Speaker 5: were several floors and each floor was like supposed to
Speaker 5: get kinkier, but the ceilings would get lower, so people
Speaker 5: just look bigger and bigger as you went up on
Speaker 5: the floors. So it was Alice in Wonderland, Alice in Wonderland,
Speaker 5: where you just like walked into somebody's asshole at the end,
Speaker 5: like it was like the most disastrous ship I've ever seen.
Speaker 5: I could count the rings around a woman's asshole. By
Speaker 5: the end of this ring, this woman's dead. I mean
Speaker 5: she must have been very old.
Speaker 2: She must have been very old, old mother Hubbard. Rings
Speaker 2: around the asshole.
Speaker 3: Anybody.
Speaker 2: I think it's good to express your anger freely.
Speaker 3: You throw that rock in that window with that person's.
Speaker 5: Face, listen. That was in the beginning of my anger career. Okay,
Speaker 5: you don't throw you don't throw shit at people now,
Speaker 5: but you should yell. You can yell, and you can
Speaker 5: say I'm very fucking angry right now. And you don't
Speaker 5: have to you know, you don't have to say anything
Speaker 5: about the person's character.
Speaker 2: You could just say how angry you are. Rose. That
Speaker 2: was literally the whitest thing you said. I am very
Speaker 2: fucking That was my voice when I was a nanny
Speaker 2: that show.
Speaker 3: When you be asking this, speak to manage me, you
Speaker 3: be like, look, I'm very any.
Speaker 2: Speak to the manager.
Speaker 1: I'm very disappointed. I'm so disappointed.
Speaker 2: I have never experienced anything like this. The clam chowder
Speaker 2: really disappointed me. White people chowder?
Speaker 3: Is that like clam soup? Yeah, that's nasty.
Speaker 2: I don't know anybody that orders claims Sydney.
Speaker 3: Does you heard you just said it's good.
Speaker 2: It's good.
Speaker 1: There's the one from New York, and then there's one
Speaker 1: from New England. The New England is the white one.
Speaker 1: I'm both pretty white to me, says.
Speaker 2: New England's probaly Wider producer Joe. It's white, right, Okay,
Speaker 2: of course that's gross.
Speaker 3: Be learned that you like clam chowder.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie and you get the little the cookie. No,
Speaker 1: not the crackers, the little clam cracker.
Speaker 2: So good, so gross, so young.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it literally makes me make an ugly face whatever
Speaker 5: the thought of it.
Speaker 3: I mean, my face doesn't do ugly things, but you know, basically, yeah.
Speaker 2: Right, it's trying. I can see Marie trying to look ugly.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Rosebud. Where can people listening catch
Speaker 4: you going on?
Speaker 2: Oh god?
Speaker 5: You can catch me on Twitter and Instagram at Rosebud Baker.
Speaker 2: I will be when is this coming out tomorrow? Tomorrow?
Speaker 3: You know, we don't be prepared for these things.
Speaker 5: All right, Well then I will be at the Village
Speaker 5: Underground next week. All my show dates stuff like that
Speaker 5: is on my website at rosebud Baker dot com.
Speaker 3: Your real name is Rosebud.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's a lie.
Speaker 3: She said he's Venezuelan.
Speaker 2: So it's actually.
Speaker 1: That's a good talk Yelanda Baker. H what Yolanda Baker?
Speaker 1: That sounds like a talk show. Send him taking my
Speaker 1: headphones off?
Speaker 2: Forever.
Speaker 7: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 7: Brett Baham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 7: please visit foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
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