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Speaker 1: Y'all you watched the trial Sean Combs, So in your

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Speaker 1: thirty years, this is the first time a man has

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Speaker 1: ever come into the room. Yeah at that point, and

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Speaker 1: he's yeah, and he's naked wearing a woman's religious covering, yes.

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Speaker 2: And self pleasuring at the same time.

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Speaker 1: Well, I know you made a ton of money. I know,

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Speaker 1: normally you're saying you may make two hundred dollars for

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Speaker 1: the entire party. I know you made four times that

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Speaker 1: in a few hours. So I guess part of me too.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like you know, you made a ton of

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Speaker 1: money for just a couple of hours.

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Speaker 3: And what I have to adjust that It was four

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Speaker 3: times initially, then when it was over, I got an

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Speaker 3: addition to twelve hundred, so it was ten times.

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Speaker 2: It was two thousand, two thousand by the end of everything.

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Speaker 1: Sure, I just got to talk real for you for

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Speaker 1: a minute. For that amount of money, you better have

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Speaker 1: a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a margarita machine

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Speaker 1: and the other. Now, listen, I've seen you, so you

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Speaker 1: can keep your shirt off. That'll be fine, But that

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Speaker 1: is so much money. Listen to each his own I

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Speaker 1: love it. I mean, what adults want to do in

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Speaker 1: their bedroom. I'm all about it if it is consensual.

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Speaker 1: But here is my next question. You have seen the

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Speaker 1: video where he beat her up, and I know you

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Speaker 1: have dealt with thousands of women. You've never beat a woman.

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Speaker 1: You've never dragged one through a hallway, you've never kicked

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Speaker 1: one in the stomach. Men normally can size up other

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Speaker 1: men pretty quick, like you know when somebody's kind of

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Speaker 1: a piece of crap, Like if you have a niece

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Speaker 1: or a good friend that's a girl, or a female cousin,

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Speaker 1: if she's dating somebody that's no good. You know he's

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Speaker 1: no good before you even shake his hand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you can get an intuition from it.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Men, no other men when women don't. Oh,

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Speaker 1: we just still think he's fabulous, even though he hadn't

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Speaker 1: worked in twenty years and he drinks too much and

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Speaker 1: he don't help with the kids. But he's fabulous, right,

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Speaker 1: But men, no other men. And my question for you is,

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Speaker 1: after all of these events that you had, that eight

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Speaker 1: to twelve interactions and what you kind of know from

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Speaker 1: the media, do you get any sense at all that

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Speaker 1: he is in fact an abuser or would you honestly

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Speaker 1: say that you didn't get that vibe at all.

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Speaker 3: So I'm going to tell you that I did not

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Speaker 3: get that vibe at all. And I know exactly why

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Speaker 3: I didn't. So me being a heterosexual male and an

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Speaker 3: only child, right, the idea of sharing my wife or

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Speaker 3: girlfriend with another man, it just doesn't make sense to me.

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Speaker 3: So going through this process, I made up my own story,

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Speaker 3: right because I needed it to make sense why he

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Speaker 3: was paying me to sleep with his gorgeous girlfriend. And

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Speaker 3: what I came up with was two things. I even

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Speaker 3: came up with. He's this celebrity and he has ten

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Speaker 3: other girlfriends and she kind of accepts it. Look, he's

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Speaker 3: gonna have his cake and eat it too. And at

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Speaker 3: one point I believed, Okay, maybe I am the you

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Speaker 3: know what, I step out of this relationship all the time.

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Speaker 3: You know what, it's only fair. You can have a

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Speaker 3: guy that, if you like him, you can have fun

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Speaker 3: in the same way that I do outside of the relationship.

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Speaker 3: So I thought either he was consenting it, trying to

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Speaker 3: be fair now, and or secondly, I thought he had

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Speaker 3: some sort of sexual performance issue that either he could

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Speaker 3: not please her in bed, or he had his own

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Speaker 3: erection issues or whatever. And he was bringing somebody in

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Speaker 3: to supplement for her satisfaction. So I literally went through

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Speaker 3: this whole process believing he was doing this to try

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Speaker 3: to please her. It never really clicked to me that

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Speaker 3: this was his own fetish, possibly an isolation, that he

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Speaker 3: was possibly making her do because this is what he enjoyed.

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Speaker 3: I always thought it was something for her, sure.

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Speaker 1: Right, That is so interesting because I thought he had

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Speaker 1: an issue as well and could not. And this makes

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Speaker 1: perfect sense of how you would miss it because you're

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Speaker 1: not trying to size him up. You're trying to get

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Speaker 1: through it. And here's the thing too, and I want

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Speaker 1: everybody to be really clear, domestic violence Stockholm syndrome, you know,

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Speaker 1: controlling a victim that ain't your area. You're not going

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Speaker 1: into any situation looking for abuse or assault in any way.

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Speaker 1: That makes a lot of sense to me what you do.

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Speaker 1: You said it already like your whole world is please

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Speaker 1: women and coming from the single mom, you don't hurt women, CHARAE.

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Speaker 1: So that's got to be weird for you too, Like

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Speaker 1: once you saw that video, that's a different person than

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Speaker 1: you thought was sitting in that room with baby old.

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Speaker 3: You know, when you see those levels of domestic violence

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Speaker 3: and that, you know, that type of physical aggression, you know,

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Speaker 3: stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to see, you, it's.

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Speaker 1: Hard to see. Do you think you'll ever talk to

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Speaker 1: Cassie again?

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Speaker 2: I don't think so.

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Speaker 3: I think, you know, I have a lot of empathy

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Speaker 3: for Cassie, and and I'm not I'm gonna just the

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Speaker 3: stuff in the trial is the stuff in the trial.

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Speaker 3: That's self explanatory, right. But you know, sex for women

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Speaker 3: in general is usually a very shameful place. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's it's a you know, a man can go out

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Speaker 3: and sleep with a thousand women and he's heralded, right,

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Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, Like and and and and

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Speaker 3: a woman hits double digits, some people will condemn her as.

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Speaker 2: A whole or a slept for the rest of her life. Right.

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Speaker 3: So for this woman to have her her sex life,

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Speaker 3: you know, put on display for the entire world in

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Speaker 3: a way to be judged and up people's opinions, and

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Speaker 3: actually people joke about it and belittle HER's that's horrible.

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Speaker 3: That is really horrible. So what I believe is that

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Speaker 3: she wants to get as far away from any and

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Speaker 3: everything associated with that period in her life and never

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Speaker 3: see here. Look think I think if she could never

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Speaker 3: hear anything about this uttered again, that's will.

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Speaker 2: Be her choice. So me speaking to her, I just

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Speaker 2: why would she ever even want that?

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Speaker 3: You know, if I'm putting myself in her shoes, I

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Speaker 3: want to get as far away from any of these

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Speaker 3: experiences and people as I can.

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Speaker 1: Is there anything you would want to say to her?

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Speaker 2: You know I've said this before.

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Speaker 3: You know, I've been fortunate enough that when I was

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Speaker 3: for tosipating in these things, I didn't I didn't see

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Speaker 3: any abuse. I didn't I didn't even see any slight

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Speaker 3: indications of her even really being in distress. But I

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Speaker 3: would like to say if if she was in some

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Speaker 3: sort of deep state of denial and making the most

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Speaker 3: of the scenario while she was simultaneously, you know, suffering

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Speaker 3: in some way inside, and I'm contributing to it by participating,

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Speaker 3: I would want to apologize.

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Speaker 2: I want to.

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Speaker 3: Apologize to be a part of a difficult time in

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Speaker 3: her life that she was going through. And again, even

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Speaker 3: though I wasn't aware, I still was a part of it.

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Speaker 3: And you know, I feel bad if I contributed to,

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Speaker 3: you know, making a bad situation for her you know,

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Speaker 3: worse or or prolonging it or keeping it going by

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Speaker 3: being a part.

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Speaker 1: Well that brings me to what I want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about next, honey, And that is your book.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you and I have talked before

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Speaker 1: off air, but I'm going to tell you publicly. I

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Speaker 1: was scared to death to research your book just based

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Speaker 1: on the title. I mean, I was like, what does

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Speaker 1: that mean? Is this some code word? Am I going

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Speaker 1: to type something and then be in some you know,

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Speaker 1: crazy chat room, you know with fetishes or what? I

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Speaker 1: didn't know what it meant. And when I hear you

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Speaker 1: talk about, you know, possibly some things that Cassie went through,

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Speaker 1: You've had to deal with some things too. So your

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Speaker 1: book is called in Search of Freezer Meat. Tell us

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Speaker 1: what that is and why you wrote it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So, first and foremost, you touched on something earlier

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Speaker 3: with me naming my my strip of website get Punished

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Speaker 3: dot com and you said, hey, you you pull up

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Speaker 3: the Google searches and you see you get punished and

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Speaker 3: you're probably gonna click on it.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: That's the same thing with Freezing Me. Right, So In

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Speaker 3: Search of Freezing Me is a men's self help book

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Speaker 3: Slash kind of my life story. It chronicles very periods

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Speaker 3: in my life that pretty much led to me eventually

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Speaker 3: developing a rectile dysfunction. And for most people, it's not

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Speaker 3: something that happens overnight, right, it happens over a period

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Speaker 3: of time. And what was really special about my rectile

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Speaker 3: dysfunction was by the time it was all said and done,

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Speaker 3: I went to a doctor and it was absolutely nothing

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Speaker 3: wrong with me physically. There was no health markers that

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Speaker 3: was causing it. It was all in a mental, anxiety

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Speaker 3: based erectile dysfunction that had developed over a period of time.

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Speaker 3: And lo and behold, more than fifty percent of cases

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Speaker 3: are the same way. There's a bunch of men walking

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Speaker 3: around struggling to perform sexually, and there's nothing wrong with them.

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Speaker 3: It's all a mental condition that's developed over time through

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Speaker 3: anxiety and sexual pressure.

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Speaker 1: I was just going to say, I've heard famous actors

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Speaker 1: say that sex scenes are the hardest to do because

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Speaker 1: you've got all these cameras and all these people around,

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Speaker 1: and you're told, oh, be in this position, look this way,

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Speaker 1: put your leg here, put your hand here, and that

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Speaker 1: it's just almost impossible. Well, you've been in that situation

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Speaker 1: for thirty years.

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Speaker 3: In my case, I started developing the inklings of reptile

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Speaker 3: dysfunction while I was still a virgin. I hadn't even

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Speaker 3: had sex yet. You know, I went through a scenario

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Speaker 3: where my best friend losses virginity before me, and he

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Speaker 3: clearly did not do a good job because the little

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Speaker 3: his girlfriend that he lost it to basically put him

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Speaker 3: on blast and told our whole school how he was

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Speaker 3: terrible in bed. Oh, and he was terrible in bed

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Speaker 3: because he was fast, right, he was, you know, and

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Speaker 3: the thirty second banded?

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Speaker 2: Right? So?

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Speaker 1: And how old was he?

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Speaker 2: Fourteen years old?

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Speaker 1: Fourteen? Was fast?

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Speaker 2: Good?

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Speaker 1: Lord?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So here I am same age fourteen a couple of

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Speaker 3: months later as my chance, and when am I a

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Speaker 3: fifteen second bandit? And I was literally scared to come

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Speaker 3: to school the next day because of you know, being

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Speaker 3: rid of cued because of this. Right, So, you know,

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Speaker 3: I bring up that story where the anxiety for men,

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Speaker 3: a lot of men can start even before you start

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Speaker 3: having sex. And now fast forward to I get twenty

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Speaker 3: two years old, and now I'm the punisher, right, and

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Speaker 3: now I'm this male dancer that I'm putting myself out

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Speaker 3: there in this fantasy type of way. So every woman

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Speaker 3: that decides to sleep with me, she has expectations that.

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Speaker 1: I got a limit to sure.

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Speaker 3: So the book kind of gives you these the normal

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Speaker 3: you know, cause effect, cure solution stuff that you get

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Speaker 3: from a typical medical book, but it's coupled with very

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Speaker 3: relatable life story situations that in some ways shape or

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Speaker 3: form every man goes through it, and they have no

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Speaker 3: idea that this could be contributing to your sexual issues.

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Speaker 3: And a lot of people don't realize that there's sexual

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Speaker 3: issues also contribute to your self worth, your self confidence.

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Speaker 3: You know, you're how you think about yourself as a man,

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Speaker 3: how successful your actual relationship is. You know, there are

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Speaker 3: some men that have been in relationships long time and

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Speaker 3: married and they just stop touching their wives, and you know,

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Speaker 3: it sends this mixed message because the women sit around

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Speaker 3: and they blame themselves. Oh, he doesn't find me attractive anymore,

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Speaker 3: he's not intimate, he's you know, maybe he's with somebody else.

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Speaker 3: So she goes through her issues and the truth of

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Speaker 3: the matter is the guy is declining sexually from his

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Speaker 3: own pressure. But instead of communicating that, he just becomes avoidant, right,

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Speaker 3: like sex is not important, Like you still don't like sex,

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Speaker 3: and your wife doesn't still love sex, or your long

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Speaker 3: term partner. And now it's this confusion that's through lack

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Speaker 3: of communication, that is, you know, creating that is forcing

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Speaker 3: marriages and relationships to lose intimacy and also creating friction

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Speaker 3: with just a man feeling a masculated because he can't

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Speaker 3: do what he needs to do, but because he won't

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Speaker 3: speak of it, he's accepting it like well, this just happens.

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Speaker 3: It's just a really really convoluted thought process to sexuality

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Speaker 3: as we age that, no one's addressing it from a

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Speaker 3: place of understanding. And that's what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to write the book. I wouldn't need it,

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Speaker 3: you know. I was, you know, my late thirties and

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Speaker 3: my forties going into my fifties, just struggling with this

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Speaker 3: over the course of a decade. And when I finally

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Speaker 3: figured all this stuff out, I was like, there's no tool,

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Speaker 3: there's no book for anybody to pick up to really

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Speaker 3: see it from a relatable story understanding, and didn't give

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Speaker 3: you the information you need to correct it.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about some more pressure because I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you my sister Charlene and I we were in Vegas

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Speaker 1: and they had a show called Thunder Down Under and

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Speaker 1: we saw the poster of these young men. They were gorgeous,

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Speaker 1: So of course we were just acting silly, you know, about, oh,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get them all to buy strengths, like we're

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Speaker 1: just acting ridiculous. Well, they had a night off, and

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Speaker 1: sure enough they're at the bar, was like six of

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Speaker 1: them and all just tremendously in shape, beautiful men. Well

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Speaker 1: of course we couldn't even talk to them. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we had done all that big talk in the day before,

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Speaker 1: you know, and now we see them and we're just like,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're acting like we're twelve, you know, giggling.

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Speaker 1: But there is pressure there, and you had to experience

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Speaker 1: something that most people don't. And I will tell you

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Speaker 1: even as somebody, this is my forty fourth year in

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Speaker 1: police work, and I've had to testify I don't even

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Speaker 1: know how many times, and I get anxious every time.

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Speaker 1: I get a little nervous every time that they're going

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Speaker 1: to come at me, they're going to attack me on something.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to screw up something, and they're going to

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Speaker 1: highlight it and hear you not only have to testify

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Speaker 1: in a high profile case, you have to talk about

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Speaker 1: your personal business.

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Speaker 3: Talking about my personal business. Was it was not that difficult.

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Speaker 3: I think the difficult part about it for me was,

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Speaker 3: you know, I had a man on trial facing life

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Speaker 3: in prison, right and whether you think he's guilty or not,

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Speaker 3: or whatever the case may be.

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Speaker 2: It is a very, very very.

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Speaker 3: Difficult space to understand that your words decides the faith

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Speaker 3: of somebody's life for the rest of your life. You know,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't wish that on anybody. You know, It's it's

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Speaker 3: a tremendous amount of pressure. And I was in the

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Speaker 3: now leading up to it, but by the time I

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Speaker 3: walked in that courtroom, I had almost like a full

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Speaker 3: flat anxiety attack, Like my hands was trembling, I was

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Speaker 3: losing my voice.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't talk.

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Speaker 3: And then the magnitude of the courtroom is it is

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Speaker 3: not Judge Judy, you know what I'm saying, Like whatever,

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Speaker 3: Judge Judy, It is an extremely intimidating, overwhelming atmosphere and

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Speaker 3: a federal court.

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Speaker 1: And let me just tell you something. You were in

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Speaker 1: a no win situation. You were going to have you know,

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Speaker 1: mister Comb's fans, if you did say something about him

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Speaker 1: negative that would never forgive you, then you're going to

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Speaker 1: have women's right folks that are never going to forgive you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, You're never going to make everybody happy. There's

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Speaker 1: no way you could walk in there and testify and

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Speaker 1: walk out and satisfy the majority of people.

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Speaker 3: My focus was was, Look, I just want to get

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Speaker 3: up here and testify without any biased be as truthful

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Speaker 3: and honest as I can, and hopefully that relays to

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Speaker 3: both sides and everybody sees that, hey, this is just

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Speaker 3: an honest guy giving his facts to the best of

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Speaker 3: his ability, with no with no horse in the race.

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Speaker 3: You know, I just wanted to do that. And what

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Speaker 3: I will say is I think that's what happened. You know,

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Speaker 3: when I when I do speak to people, when they

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Speaker 3: do have an opinion, they just feel that I was

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Speaker 3: unbiased and credible, and which apparently was not the norm

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Speaker 3: in this case. You know, it seems like like it

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Speaker 3: wasn't a lot of witnesses that got up there that

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Speaker 3: you know, people felt confident when they came off to stand,

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Speaker 3: like Okay, I can believe this person, you know.

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Speaker 2: So I was gonna.

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Speaker 1: Common in a lot of cases, It's really not. I mean,

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Speaker 1: look at Karen Reid. It's not common that somebody gets

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Speaker 1: off the stand and people go, oh yeah, that person

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Speaker 1: was straight up, they were honest.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate you being with us, and I appreciate

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Speaker 1: you giving us the insight literally behind the curtain. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I appreciate what you're trying to do helping men.

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Speaker 1: You can talk to them in a way I would

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Speaker 1: think most people couldn't. You have been in situations that

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Speaker 1: they would think would be a fantasy and it is harmful.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you can't do that for thirty years and

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Speaker 1: it not affects you. So I appreciate you, know, you

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Speaker 1: having the guts to do that.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, thank you.

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Speaker 3: And I think what really, what I saw for the

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Speaker 3: most part with in terms of writing the book, is

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Speaker 3: you know, my lifestyle to the majority of guys, it's

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Speaker 3: a fantasy lifestyle. It's like, oh man, this guy, he's

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Speaker 3: in the limelight, these around all these women every weekend,

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Speaker 3: like it must be a dream scenario. So what I

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Speaker 3: noticed when I would be open and tell guys, hey, look,

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Speaker 3: I'm having my own sexual aging struggles.

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Speaker 2: Like everybody else. It just it actually helped them.

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Speaker 3: It actually helped them to say, hey, look it's it's

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Speaker 3: not just a meeting, right, it affects everybody. And you know,

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Speaker 3: I get a lot of messages and emails and great

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Speaker 3: reviews on Amazon of guys are saying, hey, I'm not alone,

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Speaker 3: like this book motivated me to you know, this is

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Speaker 3: not normal and I need to get back on track

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Speaker 3: and I need to find my sexuality.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Think it was just you know, you take a male striper,

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Speaker 3: if you want to call me a male escort. A

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Speaker 3: male escort with erectais function is like a singer losing it.

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Speaker 3: It just can't happen. So it's some irony to the scenario.

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Speaker 3: And you know, hey, I'm I'm just glad it's helping people.

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Speaker 1: No, I love it. Well, thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: Listen, thank you for having me. It was awesome. This

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Speaker 3: was fun, and I appreciate you taking the time to

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Speaker 3: talk to me.

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Speaker 1: Y'all. I'm going to end Zone seven the way that

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Speaker 1: I always do with a quote, you have to be

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Speaker 1: somewhat crazy if you want to be successful Sean Puffy Combs.

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Speaker 1: I'm Cheryl McCollum, and this is Zone seven