WEBVTT - Show Me Your Narcissism 0:00:01.800 --> 0:00:05.240 Wind Down with Jandon Kraner and Michael Coffin and I'm. 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:09.039 Her Radio podcast special guests Sarah Gretzky. 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:11.879 Hello, Hello, Hi honey. 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:15.480 I haven't seen you in forever. So excited to catch 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:19.680 up a lot wind down, tell me everything. It's still weird, 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:21.440 by the way, looking over and seeing your engagement ring. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:22.280 Is it? It is? 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:23.959 When when we were kind of catching up in the 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:24.800 hallway earlier, I. 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:26.920 Was like, oh, this is weird. Did it catch your eye? 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:27.480 It did? 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:28.680 Yeah? 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:30.960 I tried a red color. I'm not loving it. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:32.479 I feel like now when you have a ring on 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:34.400 your hand, you can't like do certain colors, and Red's 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:37.519 just not happening right now. It's okay, I love it. 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:39.360 It's all right, but I love you, I know. So 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:40.640 what's going on? Plans? 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:44.280 Oh my god? What's going on? A lot? 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:48.080 Making more traveling so much. Yeah, we've made We've made 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:48.640 some moves. 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:49.280 Dress. 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:53.680 Oh yeah, dress is done. I got a wedding planner thrilled. 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:59.760 Couldn't be happier. She They've done a lot, like everything. 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:01.160 Did you pick the band? 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:01.880 Oh yeah? 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:04.560 Band video photo there? Did you get my picks with 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:08.399 the bridesmaid's dresses? No to you to me, Yeah, I 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.280 texted you because you sent me you like, which one 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:12.440 do you like? And I said the top? Oh yeah, yeah, 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:15.240 Oh Sorryry, I thought you meant you sent yeah unclear. 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:19.679 I cannot decide on the color wardrobe change. 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:21.880 Oh yeah it's Sarah. 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:23.360 I mean I'm just making sure. 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:26.320 Yeah, I think just for like dancing reasons. I'm a 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:26.960 dancing queen. 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:28.920 I can't be bothered by like a train and a 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.039 so but no, I cannot decide on the color. Okay, 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:35.199 like in general, well, what's the color of the wedding? 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:37.360 Unclear? I cannot decide. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:38.840 Didn't you just want like black and white? 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:40.200 Yeah? 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:42.679 But then it's like is that too boring? And then 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:46.720 it's like classy? I know, everyone keeps saying that super 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:48.920 classy and then just throw in like a pop somewhere. Well, 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:50.720 I wanted them in white, like I wanted all the 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:51.480 bridesmaids and white. 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:51.960 I love. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:54.520 They were like not happening, none of the oh I'll 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.840 shoup'm like cards. 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:58.800 I just thought it would be so because I wanted 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:00.120 to be like Heaven, like I just want. 0:01:59.960 --> 0:02:03.240 To be so like yeah, and just the consensus was 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:07.720 a no, why why? I think they were just like 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:10.079 I know, but they're like, really, bitch, we're not trying 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:11.560 to stand up in white next to you while you're 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:11.960 in white. 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:15.400 You know, it's not like the most Well. 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:20.359 They also had dresses like tailor made to like their figures. 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:25.359 Yeah, doesn't everybody. You don't buy dress off the rack 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:27.520 and not get it tailored some correct. 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:32.760 No, my dresses fit a little differently, like on purpose. No, 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:35.800 I want And that's the thing is, I was like, 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.520 I want them to look good. It's a vibe, Like 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:38.280 it's a whole vibe. 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:39.000 They're part of it. 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:40.640 So I'm like, I don't need them showing up looking 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.000 like Frumpleston, like I need it to. I want them 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:48.080 to look chic and sexy. Definitely don't do red hat. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:52.720 What about black with a white embellishment? Black is like leading, 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:56.520 but I think a simple black would be really pretty. 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:02.239 White tuxes, oh tie though, No, I'm in white. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:06.400 Yeah, you're look contrast, right, you're in white ties and black. 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:08.919 Bridesmaids are in black crimsmans are in white. 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:12.240 Oh contrast contrast. 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:14.160 That's kind of cool, But I kind of thought it 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:15.680 would be like super sick if the guys were in 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:22.040 like black velvet mmmm no no, because of like where 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:26.120 we are and like the time, I don't know I 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:27.160 saw you in London. 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:28.880 I mean, oh my god, I would. 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.639 I just saw the Ralph Lauren fashion show during Passion 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:33.080 Week and it was just like, oh, it was like 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:33.880 goatspy vibes. 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.160 I was just like feeling it. I just like loved it. 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:39.320 Belack tie, Yeah, I love it. 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:41.120 Oh my god, you're like the first person to be 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:41.920 like ye a guy. 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:44.680 Because if I still have your tax yeah, I thought 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:45.680 I wrote all over it. 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:47.600 That's my wedding. Teh. 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:51.760 You wrote all over his wedding. Ts I did it 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.160 with the black sharpie. But how did you see it? 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:58.760 Because he's it was a great Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, sorry, 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:00.480 but no I have a black I was. 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:02.640 Angry and I got angry with the black charp. I'm shocked, 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:05.840 you know, I'm shocked. That's all you did. So it wasn't. 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:11.520 That's somehow everything all stems back to all this stuff. 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:13.839 Oh no, no, no, no, I know it'll be fun. 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:17.480 It's gonna be a time. What is it, six six months? 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:19.680 Okay, because we already said the month. It's gonna be 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:22.960 so fun, so fun? Can I wear black, yes, or 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:23.599 maybe I'll wear a. 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:28.760 Deep green okay, love love deep emerald green. 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:29.000 Love. 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:30.440 Finally your embracing color. 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:32.440 I love that. Yeah, I love that too. See. 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:34.440 I wish I could tell everyone to wear black, because 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:36.000 I just think that would look so cool. But I'm 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.640 not going to be that bright. And everyone loves black, 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:41.080 I know, So that's why I'm I'm like, yeah, wear it, 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.400 wear it, love it. 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.159 What do women when it's a black tie event? Do 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:49.599 women usually have to stick to black? 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:50.320 No? 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.040 I just feel like it means more of like a gown. 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:57.200 It's black tie, I think means long and it just 0:04:57.240 --> 0:05:01.320 means for a guy. Yeah, because what's black tie optional 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.279 that a guy just doesn't have to wear a tie? 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:07.000 I mean, I have no idea mark, and then you're asking. 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:07.360 The wrong guy. 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:10.200 In fact, we've been invited some charity gala next month 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.160 in Beverly Hills, and my wife's kind of freaking out 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:16.039 because she has sun dresses. She doesn't have gas. Wear 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.800 your nicest suit, that's what I was. Not a talx, 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.359 but wear your nicest suit. So what does she she 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:21.720 have to wear? 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:22.039 A long? 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:24.600 So confusing for a woman, Like if a man shows 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:26.120 up in a talx, like I mean a suit. 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:27.320 It's like, okay, where can I go? 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.240 I can go pantsuit, I can go skirt, I can 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.000 go dress, I can go gown. 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:33.640 I think she'd be fine. I wouldn't say a sun dress, 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.880 but like an evening dress. Would like it could be 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:39.520 short at a MIDDI, amitty is good, she can she 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:41.560 can wear a MIDI. I wouldn't wear along for that, 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:42.760 but for a wedding ed wear long. 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:46.440 Yeah MIDI. We write that down mid calf. 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:48.360 But then again, I think a lot of people get 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.279 that confused, and I think they'll still wear the very 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:51.039 fancy MIDI. 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:53.240 Yeah. I know. 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.400 I kept finding dresses that I liked for bridesmaids, but 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:57.080 they weren't quite to the ground, and I was like, no, 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:57.599 I can't do that. 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:59.239 I can't have them showing up like half assed. 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.240 Yeah, because I feel like people like, you know, Mike's 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:04.560 going to show up and show out, you know, yeah. 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:06.240 Buddy, you're so excited to wear your talk. 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:08.800 I love where is even though it's in the closet. 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.240 Even though I don't have a lot of opportunities to 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:13.240 dress up right, I'm not I don't wear a suit 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:14.200 every day to work. And stuff. 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:15.240 I love. 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:18.080 There's nothing more I love than buying, like a suit, 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:20.599 like going and getting custom made suit. It's like my 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:22.800 favorite thing to do, sitting down looking at the little 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.080 fabrics and the button details and the threat details. I 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.039 love it, the lapel everything, I love it. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.840 That is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, he's like obsessed. You guys 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:32.320 can go get like matching. 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.599 Last year for my birthday and I'm doing it. But 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.560 it's like two years ago, Mike. But I was like, 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:40.880 Jane's like, what do you want for your birthday? I 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:42.480 was like, I just want to go get a new 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:47.520 suit made. And she's like that's great, but why. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.440 What are you going to do with it hanging in 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:49.960 your closet? 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:54.880 Like we have enough carpet stuff and you know events 0:06:55.440 --> 0:06:55.880 carpet do. 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.120 You wear a suit? Do you could just totally change 0:06:58.120 --> 0:06:59.680 your Oh. 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:07.480 Yes, twenty five today. Yeah, don't forget, don't forget to 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.360 get out there and vote. I feel like you got 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:10.680 a lot of people behind you on this one. 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:14.880 I mean Tanya and Becca have like they're like doing 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:16.280 sweeps on Kiss FM. 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.120 Tony is obsessed. Also, Tanya. 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:22.360 Any downtime she has, she's voting with other people's email addresses. 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:23.960 Oh god, I say, I don't have that. 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:25.400 Okay, I bet you doing it right now. 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.800 I bet she's actually you can see from the studio 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:29.080 we can see her staring at her phone. 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:29.840 I bet she's voting. 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:30.000 Right. 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:31.080 I'm gonna start doing that. 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:35.040 I'll be your like Tanya like things I know. I like. 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:37.240 Tina's like how to be a week? And I'm like, oh, 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.240 I forgot to vote this week? Have you voted for 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:41.040 I did, like twice. 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:41.800 I haven't. 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.880 Oh, I can't. But it's fine. 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:46.520 We don't have We don't have seacrests behind us, and 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:51.040 that's okay, it's okay. You know we have Winem we 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.240 do that market Easton behind us. Well, they also do 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:54.720 scrubbing into so we're screwed. 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:56.560 But it's fine. 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:00.560 It's all good. On the other news, I might pregnant. 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:02.280 What the fuck? 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:06.640 Wait, Tory screaming I called it. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.480 She did, which is so weird if I didn't mention it. 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:11.080 And now Tanya's. 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:15.600 Wait, wait, wait, wait, Tori, if you're pregnant in my wedding, like, 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:16.760 what am I gonna do? 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:18.720 That doesn't matter? 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:19.320 No, but. 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:24.840 My gosh, I called it. You did call it, but 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:27.640 I don't know. I'm just I'm lazy. But you have 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:31.440 fish like a week ago. I'm so stressed. I know, 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:33.480 so I don't. But here's the thing. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:37.440 What bothers me is that Michael, Michael never got. 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:38.599 You should. 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:44.200 I'm sorry, yes, And I've. 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:47.000 Literally said to him, Michael, make sure you get checked, Michael, 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:48.600 make sure you get checked. And He's like, yeah, I'll 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:49.560 do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:53.559 Yeah, And now I'm late late, I have a pit. 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:55.559 I have a literal pit in my stomach. 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.959 I don't know, doesn't matter a couple I'm always on time. 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:00.000 I don't miss. 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:02.120 I think I lost track of how many times since 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:04.240 I've gotten Aviseectony that Jane said, you know what, I 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:08.160 really want another kid. I really want another kids. Like 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:09.240 this is all your. 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:14.600 Fault, I know, I is giving me I needed to 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:15.600 have another baby. 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:17.880 Jesus getting too old. 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:19.199 Oh Jesus Christ. 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:23.600 Here's the thing though, so Tanya still has her mouth. 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:25.760 From there. 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:28.679 I don't know. I'm just saying usually I'm very so, 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:30.600 so why don't we know, like, why don't we figure 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:30.839 it out? 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:34.280 Well? Well, so the other day we're eating casually having dinner, 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:37.160 and I go, so I might be pregnant. She's like, 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.400 I want to slushy slurpy. 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.480 And he's like okay, And I said, would you be 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:44.280 upset about that? 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:53.800 Oh, she's playing games. 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.360 Not games and I and he's like, well, I wouldn't 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:53.439 necessarily want another one. 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:55.040 I was like, so you'd be upset. 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:59.640 I said, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be upset either way. 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.360 I would be upset if we had one. I wouldn't 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:02.199 be upset if we didn't. 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:04.080 Well, what a blessing to have another child? 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:07.800 Yeah? We make I mean we make good looking babies. 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:10.360 I would love to I would love But I'm just 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.240 saying it's worried. So he's like, when should we take 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:15.920 a test? And so probably in the next tonight. 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.360 Yeah, I was thinking on the podcast. 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:20.040 Yeah, like, can now just go run and get it 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:20.480 one now? 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:21.160 Next week? 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:27.400 Sure? Yeah, we just postmates one up. You can posts 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:28.079 of pregnant. 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.880 I'm sure you can post he can post me anything. 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:35.240 Okay, hold on wait wait, did to show up now 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:36.360 a few days late? 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:37.200 Yeah? 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.520 Because usually it shows you like every time I took 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:43.040 the first one, like it was like six days before 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:44.960 I'm a miss period is when it would always show up. 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.200 So like it would show up now because I'm late. 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:54.560 Hold on, because he's getting like this reaction makes me 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:55.880 think that like you wouldn't be happy. 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:57.840 All he wants to do is party at my wedding. Okay, 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:01.600 that's all he's worried about. He just just concerned. It's 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:02.520 all about the wedding. 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:05.120 It is all about the wedding. 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:05.839 Oh my god. 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.280 Okay, So like let's see, you're gonna be like September 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:10.920 you guys. 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:14.000 Yeah, Torri just asked if she needs an I D 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:22.360 to get a pregnancy. 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:23.280 Today. I can't. 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:25.280 Wait. 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:30.040 That is, she's literally running right now to like the nearest, 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:31.439 like can you get eleven eleven? 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:33.439 Because can you get one of the whole foods? I 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.360 don't know. I don't think you can. 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:43.360 I think you can only get public CBS Walgreens' I 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:45.319 think you need an ID for like planning pan B 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:46.880 but I think also now you can. 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.280 Yeah, I don't know. That's that's so funny. Okay, hold on. 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:54.320 Here, I thought we were going to come in here 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:58.000 talk about like just not this. 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:03.679 So I mean Mark, doctor Romani's gonna be on in 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:06.240 a few minutes, and then after that, I'm thinking we 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:07.000 send Janet to. 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:09.640 The bathroom one hundred and fifty percent. 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:11.600 I think, wep, and do. 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:13.640 It in here? Can we just do it? 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.599 Pour the cup over, bring the microphone. 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.520 No, go pee in a cup, bring it in here, 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:21.200 and then put the thing so we can all just 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:21.920 be in this together. 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:23.280 We need some sort of a big bowl. 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:24.800 Wait, but is it going to show up? I feel 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:27.480 like you need more time. No, it would show promise 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:28.199 because mine what. 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:28.600 Are you doing? 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:28.920 Michael? 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:30.400 Whoa, I'm listening. 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:31.440 He's picking his tooth. 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:32.400 Oh I thought you were. 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.000 You grabbed your bag to like throw up, and I 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.400 was like, are you okay? 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:41.040 Are you getting naus? Yes? So, oh my god, I know. 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:42.160 So that's the thing. 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.240 Are you going to get tested after this though, even 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:46.040 if it's it, because I think it's still something you 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.520 should see if because we're there's no lack of sex 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:50.640 in our marriage right now. 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:56.360 And that's the tea. Wait, hold on, I might be confused. 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.959 Why is what's the problem that he needed to get 0:12:58.960 --> 0:12:59.480 tested again? 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:00.920 He needed to test to see if. 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:02.480 You're make sure your tubes are clear? 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.439 Yeah, I got I got tested. I was supposed to 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.520 get tested twice and only got tested once. I was satisfied 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.040 with the results of the first one, they still wanted 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:09.800 me to come back again. 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:10.680 But it's fine. 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.800 They said there were found one dead one and the 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:17.040 one with no motility, right, so like that's good enough 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:17.320 for me. 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:18.440 Yeah, And it's. 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:19.559 Been ten years. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:22.360 This is Jane and I and we were even talking 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:24.320 about this when it came up. I was like, you know, 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.280 we've talked about on here how we go in phases 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:30.320 with intimacy and sex and sometimes there's some some issues 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:32.880 around it, but we have not had an issue for 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:33.520 a while. 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:35.120 Oh my god, these horny. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.840 That's definitely been like the one area that's remained the 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:41.680 most consistent and strongest over the last That's. 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:42.320 Impressive, you know what. 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.160 That's pretty amazing, and like, let's say it happens. It's 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:45.440 like this baby was made out of love. 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.320 Yeah, yeah, you know sure. I mean not that they all. 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:51.040 Weren't, but if you're as like connected right now, like 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:53.080 it's kind of like I almost don't want to know though, 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:56.040 because if it's not, then I I'm kind of excited. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:58.720 I know, I kind of would love enough. 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:02.840 You're getting back in that chair and getting reversal, so 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:03.640 they're getting tested. 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:05.199 Is the worst because you've got to bring it in. 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:06.800 We didn't. 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:08.520 You don't have to do it there, didn't know. 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.680 I actually I think I threw away the cup to 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.800 bring it in. The cup made it with me from 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:16.520 l A to the in the move to Nashville. But 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.440 it's got to be warm. But I haven't used the cup. 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:23.400 It's got to be within thirty minutes. Yeah, I know, yes, 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.880 I know. It's the worst. And then when you hand 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.320 it to them, the woman gave me a look like, seriously, 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:29.000 you're handing me this. 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:30.720 Like you work here at a job. 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.720 I felt like a real schmuck. 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:35.240 Schmuck. 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:40.120 Oh my god, I'm pitting out so hard, like in 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:43.040 a good way, in an interesting way. 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:44.800 If it's not, would you be upset? 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.040 Did I not remember what I said? I said, if 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:50.920 we do, I won't be upset. If it's not, I 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:51.560 won't be upset. 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:53.640 So the only really upset this is going to be 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:55.880 if it's not. If you're not pregnant, Jen. 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:57.040 Is going to be really disappointed. 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:00.840 I will say this part of me, just with the 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:04.160 excitement that we're making us into now, is going to 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.120 cause me to be a lit upset if we're not, 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.680 only because like Jace, he's it's such a perfect gauge 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:11.240 right now, nine months. 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.120 It's exhausted with two. I love you. 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.440 You find a way. No, no, I'm so tired. But 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.920 it's just me, know it is Mark. You just just 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:19.480 do it, man. 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:20.520 But I don't want a third. 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:21.840 Yeah no I don't either. 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.560 I do and so that you know what a third means, 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:29.239 like new plane seats. You know, you're your seating arrangements. 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:30.320 I know. 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:33.720 I five is not a practical amount of people for 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:37.120 a theme park, the. 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:39.080 Parks, that's good. Yeah, you have to think. 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:41.360 Part of the world. Jana is never going to go 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.320 on a roller coaster. So if it's me and the 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.760 three kids, it's two in the front, in the back, 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.000 we're good. Mom's the fifth wheel. 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:50.880 Oh my, see that works out great for you guys. 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.120 Oh my god. 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:57.280 So we'll see Sarah. When are you baby making soon? 0:15:57.960 --> 0:15:59.920 I mean, like, yeah, why don't you just like hold 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:00.760 off until next year? 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:02.400 I think we could do it? 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:06.160 No, no, no. 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:07.560 What's the difference between now and then? 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.120 A lot? A lot that's a long time. 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:11.280 Okay, I don't mean. 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:16.240 Baby, Sorry, sorry, I mean like maybe like, but Mike 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.840 again has like a very warped sense of time because 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:20.560 when we talked about the whole like police thing the 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:22.760 other day and I made a poll like, hey, should 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.200 Mike do police stuff? And there were so many people 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.000 like he's thirty two, Like you're not, You're so young, 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.000 You're so young, it's just crazy, Like he's just like 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.480 it's for you would want him to believe to be 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:35.280 a police officer. 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:37.120 But no, I just was saying, whatever he wants to do. 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:40.120 Oh yeah, yeah, no, of course not but no, no, no, 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.080 I'm like, whatever he wants to do, I would like 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.680 because he was saying like that's something he'd always wanted 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:45.800 to do, so I'm like, go do it. 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:48.479 He's like, I'm so old, and I'm like, oh no. 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:51.760 But that's not what's stopping me. It's again anything else 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:53.200 that we have going on right now. 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:55.480 But you would be the oldest do you think amongst 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:57.080 your like group of cadets in the. 0:16:58.640 --> 0:16:58.760 Well? 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:01.120 I will say there's a guy, a childhood buddy and 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:03.640 my dad's that served in the fire department with my 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:07.640 dad for decades and when he retired from the fire department, 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:09.600 he went over and became a police officer. 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.080 Just started from at the beginning to wow. 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.000 Just to kind of kind of double dip on his. 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:18.600 Yeah, what a nice man is He's a. 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.560 Great and he's hilarious and a great man too. 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:23.960 Side note, Easton, when we talked about the stuff going 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:28.040 on with your lady, yes, your wife, our girlfriend, Leslie 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:31.520 texted us and said, that sounds like he's a fair 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:36.080 what's that called again, he's trying a fair dating, like 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:39.280 trying to find like someone to She had a word 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:39.520 for it. 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:40.520 I can't remember what it. 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:43.520 Was, but yeah, so that's something where it's like it's 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:46.040 totally not inappropriate at all. 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.080 So she stopped a quick update. 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.199 She's like, I'm just gonna just stop responding to this 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.399 dude because they don't like directly work together. It's not 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:57.320 like it's gonna be an awkward thing at work, right, And. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:17:59.760 He's a fair hunting. That's a fair hunting. 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.160 Listening to the podcast till east and the dude contacting 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.520 his wife is crossing a major line. Not okay, the 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:06.840 guy is married and is telling her how unhappy he's 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.639 with his wife. That's called a fair hunting. 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:10.040 Yeah, she had. 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.480 She cut him off and he sent like a couple 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.000 like weird messages like the next day. It was like 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:17.840 because he saw her work and was like, oh wait 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:19.480 up to this weekend, She's like, oh, nothing, just I'm 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.159 feeling kind of sick. I'm just gonna stay home. And 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:22.800 then like I think, she posts on Instagram that she 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:23.720 and I went to Disneyland. 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:24.880 He's like, oh, feeling really sick. 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:25.880 Huh like that kind of thing. 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:27.760 Oh my god, you I know, like that was like 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:32.080 upsetting and so us like Alison said, like I don't 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:33.800 know this guy anything, Like we're not friends. 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:34.480 I don't know. 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:36.120 He's trying to make me feel like I am something 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:38.720 that I don't. So just like stopped and uh. He 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:40.960 kept messaging, but that was like a couple of days 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.080 ago and has hasn't been lost two days. 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:46.080 She hit him with the block Sam delete as I say, 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:48.080 like just blocked this time time to block hit him 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:49.960 with the three I know. 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:50.920 Well, thanks for the update. 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:52.680 Toy is on the phone from the pharmacy. 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:57.440 Tory, Oh, Tory, I'm here. 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:01.200 Did you did you have to use your ID? 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:02.520 No? 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:06.240 So I listen you guys. I don't know how this 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:08.360 whole thing works. Do you need to show your ID? 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:13.520 I'm currently walking tours of Halloween candy. 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:19.399 Let me tell you what to do? 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:21.960 You Tori twenty one. 0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:24.680 Okay, toy, just walk in, grab a pregnancy test and 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:26.560 a bottle of water and some candy, and just leap. 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:28.240 I think you should. 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:29.919 Do you have wait, do you have a Do you 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.440 have a ring? Put it on your left finger and make. 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:34.639 You feel so much better the amount of times I've 0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:35.679 walked in not married. 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:40.040 You want to know that I literally pointed with my 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:42.200 left hand so that they could see I had some 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:44.840 kind of gold band on my finger. Oh my god, 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:48.000 twenty one over there, That twenty one that went over there. 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:52.879 The ring idea, Yeah, get to get the first response 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:55.280 with the lines, not the ones that say yes or no. 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:57.919 Get the first response. Six days before. 0:19:57.680 --> 0:19:59.680 I'm a period, I feel like I'm close. 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:01.960 My god, toys like, here's the loop. 0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:05.080 There's a lot of loop there. 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:09.000 Next they're by the tampon. 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.600 No, I'm literally gonna have to ask her againtory. 0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:15.920 You're a college educated woman. You can find them. Don't ask. 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.280 I love that Sarah said, get some candy words. 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:22.200 Well, no, you don't want it. Not then you want 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.120 to let You don't want to roll up with one test. 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:26.439 You gotta act like you just like are stalking up, 0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:29.040 so you grab like some water because I. 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:31.760 Can't believe it again, and there's like fifteen people in 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:32.720 line at the partment. 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:33.840 Not her. 0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:36.840 We don't have all day toy there by the I'm trying, 0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:39.639 I'm you guys, I'm not kidding, I am looking. 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:41.359 Okay, they're by their tampons. 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:45.880 That's all first response. They're usually they actually, which. 0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:46.040 Store are you at? 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:48.120 I'm a CBS. 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:49.440 Okay, so CBS. 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:53.320 They might be locked up here in LA because they're expensive. 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:56.720 Yeah, I'm actually thinking that because they're definitely nice. 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.960 They're like twenty five bars respect. Oh my god, you're 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:04.640 gonna have to ask someone to unlock the thing for you. 0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:05.920 Ask her again. 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.600 I love that the tequila and the pregnancy text and 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:12.440 the razors are behind. 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:13.960 It's so annoying that. 0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:19.159 The one three, it's like. 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:21.359 We got to help her. 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:23.480 All right, Okay, we're in action. 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:24.040 Good luck. 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:24.320 All right. 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.040 So you saying I'm gonna drink some water, but can 0:21:27.080 --> 0:21:28.080 you grab me in their smart water? 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:33.000 Thanks? All right? 0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:35.679 Well to be continued finished listening to the show to 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:39.280 see uh the real real live peing on a stick? 0:21:40.680 --> 0:21:43.000 Are you what if we like what if you mean 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:46.800 like in like some of so random friend, like you're 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:49.360 not but like like Danielle's like, oh, I'll take one 0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:57.200 for fun and likes pregnant or like Torri or Tania. 0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:02.120 The job is god, oh that would be well. So 0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:04.720 stay tuned. We're having a guest coming up before I 0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:05.040 do that. 0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:07.359 So act Ramani is talking narcissism next. 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:08.160 Super excited. 0:22:11.880 --> 0:22:14.640 Making your home beautiful is the ultimate form of self care. 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:16.720 So you spend one thirty of your life in sheets, 0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:18.800 so don't you want to be insanely comfortable? 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:19.920 So true story. 0:22:19.960 --> 0:22:23.320 Michael and I obviously moved to Nashville, and every single 0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:26.760 one of our sheets is Brooklynen. Because I'll never forget 0:22:26.760 --> 0:22:29.320 the one night Michael got into bed and he goes, 0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:32.200 these sheets, by the way, are the most comfortable sheets ever? 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:34.000 Are these from blah blah blah? 0:22:34.000 --> 0:22:36.040 And I said, no, babe, these are Brooklynen And he 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:40.040 was completely blown away. And everybody is loving and recommending 0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:42.560 Brooklyn In. Brooklyn and Sheets are named the winner of 0:22:42.600 --> 0:22:46.480 the best of online betting and their luxury sheets, towels, 0:22:46.480 --> 0:22:49.199 betting and more without the luxury markup. Most betting is 0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:52.960 marked up as much as three hundred percent. That's insane. 0:22:53.600 --> 0:22:56.040 Brooklyn is so confident in their product that all their sheets, 0:22:56.080 --> 0:22:59.439 comforters and towels come with a lifetime warranty. So for 0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:03.199 our list, they are giving you guys an exclusive offer. 0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:04.840 You go to Brooklyn dot com. 0:23:04.880 --> 0:23:07.280 Okay, get ten percent off and free shipping when you 0:23:07.359 --> 0:23:09.720 use promo code Jana at Brooklyn dot com. 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:11.160 This is the only way. 0:23:10.960 --> 0:23:13.240 To get ten percent off and free shipping is to 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:16.240 use the promo code Jana at Brooklyn dot com. That's 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:19.280 Brooklyn and b r oh okay l I N E 0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:23.520 N dot com promo code Jana brooklynan. These truly are 0:23:23.720 --> 0:23:26.440 the best sheets ever. So no one really has time 0:23:26.480 --> 0:23:28.200 to go to the post office. You know, you're busy. 0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:32.000 You've got like grocery shopping to do and errands. Do 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:34.720 you really want to make another stop? And plus who's 0:23:34.720 --> 0:23:37.040 got the time with the parking, the lugil your mail 0:23:37.080 --> 0:23:37.640 and packages. 0:23:37.680 --> 0:23:38.679 It's honestly a hassle. 0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:40.639 Well that's why you need stamps dot com, one of 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:43.600 the most popular time saving tools for small businesses and 0:23:43.880 --> 0:23:47.040 just for moms or honestly for whoever, especially in a 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:50.679 day and age now, where you can basically get anything 0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:52.920 you want shipped to your door. Well, stamps dot com 0:23:52.960 --> 0:23:55.399 will ship you a scale and anything else that you 0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:58.600 need to make sure that you can print us postage 0:23:58.640 --> 0:24:01.080 twenty four to seven for any life, any package, any 0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:03.720 class of mail, anywhere, right from your home. Once your 0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:05.560 mail is ready, just hand it to your mail carrier 0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:08.040 or drop it in the mailbox. It's as simple as that. 0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:10.600 With stamps dot com, you get five cents off of 0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:12.959 every first class stamp and up to forty percent off 0:24:13.000 --> 0:24:15.600 of priority mail. Not to mention, it's a fraction of 0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:18.840 the cost of those expensive postage meters. Stamps dot Com 0:24:18.880 --> 0:24:21.560 is a no brainer, saving you time and money. It's 0:24:21.560 --> 0:24:25.040 no wonder that over seven hundred thousand small businesses already 0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:27.520 use dance dot com. Right now, our listeners get a 0:24:27.520 --> 0:24:30.480 special offer that includes a four week trial plus free 0:24:30.520 --> 0:24:33.920 postage and a digital scale without any long term commitment. 0:24:34.119 --> 0:24:35.919 Just go to stamps dot com, click on the microphone 0:24:35.920 --> 0:24:37.639 at the top of the homepage and type in Jana. 0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:41.560 That's stamps dot com. Enter Jana. 0:24:44.080 --> 0:24:45.439 Hi, it's doctor Rominey. 0:24:45.480 --> 0:24:49.119 How are you hey? I'm good? 0:24:49.280 --> 0:24:50.880 Thank you. So. 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:53.320 You have a book coming out It's called Don't You 0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:53.960 Know Who I Am? 0:24:54.040 --> 0:24:57.000 How to Stay Sane in an era of narcissism. 0:24:57.640 --> 0:24:59.280 Why did you write this book? 0:24:59.560 --> 0:24:59.920 Where was? 0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:02.520 Where's your connection to narcissism? 0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:05.800 So I've been working in narcissism as an area for 0:25:05.840 --> 0:25:07.760 over ten years and it was sort of one of 0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:09.800 those things I was working on quietly, and then there 0:25:09.840 --> 0:25:12.800 was an election and everybody started talking about it. But 0:25:12.920 --> 0:25:16.720 in having those conversations, yeah, there's a bigger cultural issue 0:25:16.800 --> 0:25:20.119 around narcissism, and whether it's how the president behaves or 0:25:20.160 --> 0:25:24.760 other famous people behave, or social media, it's really bled 0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:27.399 into regular people's lives. You can't go into a parking 0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:30.360 lot nowadays without people screaming at each other or someone 0:25:30.440 --> 0:25:31.960 screaming don't you know who I am? 0:25:32.000 --> 0:25:33.879 On an airplane or at a hotel clerk. 0:25:34.080 --> 0:25:36.080 So it seems to be something that's bubbled up into 0:25:36.200 --> 0:25:39.680 American actually global culture I'm seeing now, and it's really 0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:42.920 taking a toll on people and all of that cumulatively. 0:25:42.960 --> 0:25:45.080 I've written another book called Should I Stay or Should 0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:48.119 I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist that was 0:25:48.160 --> 0:25:51.480 about narcissism and the intimate space boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, 0:25:51.640 --> 0:25:54.560 because a lot of relationships were sort of crumbling under that. 0:25:54.760 --> 0:25:57.200 But after that book, I got a lot more questions. 0:25:57.280 --> 0:25:59.520 People said, you know what, my husband's fine, but it's. 0:25:59.320 --> 0:26:02.640 My mom who's narcissist. Or it's my boss who's the narcissist. 0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:05.200 This book takes on all of the different kinds of 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:09.000 narcissistic relationships, but also makes us to take a really 0:26:09.040 --> 0:26:10.840 hard look at our culture and say, how are we 0:26:10.920 --> 0:26:12.000 all contributing to this? 0:26:12.240 --> 0:26:13.720 And how are we all suffering? 0:26:14.359 --> 0:26:19.600 Buck Ramani? At what age does it kind of transition 0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:22.760 from maybe someone just having some character defects or being 0:26:23.359 --> 0:26:27.840 just an a hole or whatever into actual full blown narcissism. 0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:31.720 You know, I actually tell people, especially parents, I'm like, 0:26:32.080 --> 0:26:33.720 put the brakes, I calling this the. 0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:36.240 Name until actually a person's probably. 0:26:35.840 --> 0:26:39.320 Into the early mid twenties, until that age of personality. 0:26:39.359 --> 0:26:41.840 It's almost like a sweater that's too big for someone 0:26:42.080 --> 0:26:44.920 still kind of growing into it. By twenty three, twenty 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:46.719 four to twenty five, you can look at someone how 0:26:46.760 --> 0:26:49.000 someone's acting and saying, yeah, this is probably going to 0:26:49.040 --> 0:26:51.080 be a pattern. I wouldn't use this word with a 0:26:51.119 --> 0:26:53.880 seventeen year old because I'm as a mother of teenagers. 0:26:53.440 --> 0:26:55.280 I could say most teenagers are awful. 0:26:55.359 --> 0:27:00.639 So yeah, so that's something where you eat it like okay. 0:27:01.160 --> 0:27:03.600 After that time when yeah, it's a wait and see. 0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:06.080 Yeah, do you do you find that are women? 0:27:06.600 --> 0:27:08.560 Is it like more men are narcissist or is it 0:27:08.560 --> 0:27:11.120 more women or do you find that to be different. 0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:15.080 Way more men are narcissistic. I'm guessing it's probably eighty 0:27:15.160 --> 0:27:19.439 twenty to be honest with you, and I for sure 0:27:20.200 --> 0:27:22.600 the big spread is how the difference between how men 0:27:22.680 --> 0:27:25.960 and women are socialized. Women are taught to talk about 0:27:26.000 --> 0:27:29.880 their emotions, they're taught to make stronger relational ties from 0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:32.919 an early age. They're not taught to be as competitive, 0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:36.119 they're not as authoritarian. They have very different kinds of 0:27:36.119 --> 0:27:39.480 relationships with their parents. And boys are really taught to 0:27:39.520 --> 0:27:42.800 be competitive. Little boys are told don't cry, you're you know, 0:27:42.840 --> 0:27:43.600 boys don't cry. 0:27:43.640 --> 0:27:45.720 Girls are like cool, you can cry, like cry this 0:27:45.760 --> 0:27:46.320 one out. 0:27:46.520 --> 0:27:50.080 So we do teach them differently, we socialize them differently. 0:27:50.240 --> 0:27:52.359 There's been a lot of talk in the media about 0:27:52.359 --> 0:27:53.600 toxic masculinity. 0:27:53.880 --> 0:27:56.159 Toxic masculinity is sort of a you know, I don't know, 0:27:56.200 --> 0:27:57.879 sort of a pithy way to say narcissism. 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.639 To be honest with you, but is it to catch up? 0:28:00.840 --> 0:28:03.680 Yes, I would say, I run into narcissistic women all 0:28:03.680 --> 0:28:05.720 the time. I have a lot of men who come 0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:08.080 into my practice and say, what have I done? 0:28:08.160 --> 0:28:11.320 Who have I married? And these women are very narcissistic. 0:28:11.520 --> 0:28:13.600 Lots of people out there had narcissistic mothers. 0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:16.120 So I mean, I honestly think that in the next 0:28:16.160 --> 0:28:17.919 ten to twenty years, we're going to see those scales 0:28:17.920 --> 0:28:19.400 starting reading out quite a bit. 0:28:20.040 --> 0:28:22.560 I guess, like, what really truly makes a narcissist? Though, 0:28:22.680 --> 0:28:24.520 that's what I was going to ask, Like, I might 0:28:24.640 --> 0:28:26.960 be a dumb question, but what is a narcissist? 0:28:27.720 --> 0:28:29.520 It's a great question because I think a lot of 0:28:29.560 --> 0:28:33.280 people think narcissist is someone who's really stuck up and 0:28:33.440 --> 0:28:37.640 loves themselves. It's not, in fact, it's in fact, it's 0:28:37.680 --> 0:28:38.320 the opposite of that. 0:28:38.320 --> 0:28:40.200 They're actually really quite self loathing. 0:28:40.440 --> 0:28:42.360 So at the core of it, these are people who 0:28:42.480 --> 0:28:46.760 lack empathy, who are really entitled. They're really arrogant. They're 0:28:46.880 --> 0:28:50.160 constantly seeking admiration or validation. Look at me, tell me 0:28:50.200 --> 0:28:54.560 I'm great. They're really superficial. They're vain, they are very 0:28:54.600 --> 0:28:59.680 prone to rage, they're very controlling. They're also very charming, 0:29:00.160 --> 0:29:03.840 very charismatic. They're very confident, but ultimately, at the core 0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:06.960 of it, believe it or not, they're deeply, deeply insecure, 0:29:07.240 --> 0:29:09.800 and that's why they're always trying to overcompensate. I said, listen, 0:29:09.800 --> 0:29:12.080 if somebody's really good at something, they're. 0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:13.440 Not going to brag about it. They're going to be 0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:15.440 confident like I know, I know this, I got this. 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:18.160 I don't need to behave like a fool and suck 0:29:18.200 --> 0:29:21.240 all the oxygen out of the room. However, if I'm insecure, 0:29:21.560 --> 0:29:23.440 I'm going to come out punching, I'm going to come 0:29:23.440 --> 0:29:26.120 out bragging, and I'm going to get really irritable if 0:29:26.160 --> 0:29:27.160 things don't go my way. 0:29:28.240 --> 0:29:31.040 It's the no empathy that is sort of the shocking 0:29:31.080 --> 0:29:33.960 part of it, because they truly it's not that they 0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:35.840 are selfish. 0:29:35.480 --> 0:29:36.080 And have no empathy. 0:29:36.160 --> 0:29:38.560 They don't really even understand what it would be to 0:29:38.800 --> 0:29:39.640 have empathy. 0:29:39.720 --> 0:29:40.240 Is that right? 0:29:40.440 --> 0:29:40.760 Uhh? 0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:43.840 No, absolutely, And you nail that. That's actually really well put. 0:29:44.160 --> 0:29:45.680 I think where a lot of people will sit in 0:29:45.680 --> 0:29:48.040 my office and say, I don't get it. Are you 0:29:48.200 --> 0:29:50.600 telling me they just don't care? And I look at them, 0:29:50.600 --> 0:29:52.800 I'm like, yeah, I'm telling you, they just don't care. 0:29:53.080 --> 0:29:55.920 Then people say, what's wrong with me? I said, nothing's 0:29:55.960 --> 0:29:59.000 wrong with you. They don't care about anybody. Again, it's 0:29:59.040 --> 0:30:02.160 the insecurity. Really don't care. They don't have empathy. And 0:30:02.200 --> 0:30:03.880 I got to be honest with you. Every week I 0:30:03.920 --> 0:30:07.200 get emails and calls from people who say I'm narcissistic. 0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:09.600 The word is getting out that we kind of suck 0:30:10.040 --> 0:30:14.240 and I actually want a relationship, and they want a relationship, 0:30:14.280 --> 0:30:15.680 they said, But you know, I'm gonna be honest with you. 0:30:16.040 --> 0:30:18.760 I really don't care about feelings and emotions and stuff. 0:30:18.880 --> 0:30:20.320 Can you teach me how? 0:30:20.960 --> 0:30:23.560 I gotta tell you it's hard to do as an 0:30:23.640 --> 0:30:26.800 aftermarket add on at thirty five, to be teaching people. 0:30:26.600 --> 0:30:28.160 Stuff they should have learned when they were six. 0:30:28.600 --> 0:30:31.680 And so, a self aware narcissist is a horrible thing 0:30:31.720 --> 0:30:33.800 to witness because they kind of realize they. 0:30:33.640 --> 0:30:34.400 Don't really care. 0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:38.200 That lack of empathy is what makes it so invalidating 0:30:38.240 --> 0:30:40.120 to have any kind of relationship with them. 0:30:40.240 --> 0:30:41.520 Is it on a spectrum? 0:30:42.600 --> 0:30:45.080 Yeah, absolutely on a spectrum. Not only is it on 0:30:45.120 --> 0:30:49.200 a spectrum, there's different kinds. Like listen, everybody, all of 0:30:49.320 --> 0:30:52.160 us have a few of those benign and narcissistic friends, 0:30:52.160 --> 0:30:55.040 like they're a little bit too instagrammy and they were 0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:57.360 a little bit too edit my pictory and a little 0:30:57.400 --> 0:31:00.640 bit too selfie. You know, there's always that person, but 0:31:00.720 --> 0:31:02.360 you know at the core of it, and they're not 0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:05.239 really good at empathy, but they're not bad people, and 0:31:05.280 --> 0:31:06.760 like there's always good to have a few of them 0:31:06.760 --> 0:31:08.680 on ice for a dinner party because they sort of 0:31:08.720 --> 0:31:09.480 jazz things up. 0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:11.480 Definitely not someone you take your problems too. 0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:15.520 But at the most severe end, we have malignant narcissists 0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:19.160 that almost feel like psychopaths, like they manipulate, they exploit, 0:31:19.600 --> 0:31:23.880 they coerce, they bully, they oppress, like they're really. 0:31:23.560 --> 0:31:26.360 Really dreadful, if not dangerous people. 0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:29.360 And then there's all other sort of your classical narcissists 0:31:29.360 --> 0:31:34.560 who's sort of like the showy, braggy, you know, charming, charismatic, 0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:37.040 kind of is the center of tension person but gets 0:31:37.080 --> 0:31:39.560 grumpy when things don't go that where people aren't noticing them. 0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:43.040 And then you have sort of that stealth narcissist, which 0:31:43.080 --> 0:31:45.960 is the covert narcissist. And these are the people who 0:31:46.000 --> 0:31:49.240 are always victims. They're like, how come nothing ever goes 0:31:49.320 --> 0:31:50.680 my way? You know, I would have been one of 0:31:50.720 --> 0:31:53.480 the great ones if I had been born ten years later. 0:31:53.720 --> 0:31:55.560 You know, things don't go my way because people are 0:31:55.600 --> 0:31:59.680 threatened by me. Those are narcissists, and people think they're pathetic, 0:32:00.120 --> 0:32:03.200 but actually that constantly being a victim. They're very entitled. 0:32:03.240 --> 0:32:04.840 They're like, you know what, I'm too good for a 0:32:04.960 --> 0:32:07.080 nine to five, so I'm going to stay home. So 0:32:07.120 --> 0:32:08.880 the other person who kind of lives in mom's basement 0:32:08.920 --> 0:32:10.840 and somehow is waiting for someone to show up with 0:32:10.880 --> 0:32:12.760 a check, I guess, but they really. 0:32:12.480 --> 0:32:14.120 Do believe that they shouldn't have to work. 0:32:14.960 --> 0:32:18.160 Now, I'm a question. And you know, it's interesting. Jane 0:32:18.160 --> 0:32:20.280 and I talk a lot about the current events and 0:32:20.840 --> 0:32:24.240 also what's current in our relationship, and so you know, 0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:27.080 I hear a lot of talk about narcissism nowadays, obviously, 0:32:27.320 --> 0:32:29.800 and a lot of the traits that you're talking about 0:32:29.880 --> 0:32:33.080 right now, you know, And I feel these little flags 0:32:33.080 --> 0:32:36.080 coming up in my brain and I'm like, oh, I 0:32:36.160 --> 0:32:38.480 do some of that or I've done that. I'm this 0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:41.440 way sometimes and like last night, for example, Jane and 0:32:41.480 --> 0:32:44.000 I were kind of having an argument and you know, 0:32:44.160 --> 0:32:47.520 discussing something and I and maybe this is just my 0:32:47.840 --> 0:32:52.560 upbringing as a male. But I find it physically impossible 0:32:52.880 --> 0:32:57.360 or very very difficult at times to actually comprehend maybe 0:32:57.400 --> 0:33:01.440 where Janna is coming from in a situation like to me, 0:33:01.560 --> 0:33:05.680 it doesn't make rational sense, and I'm like, I literally, 0:33:05.680 --> 0:33:08.160 like last night, I had a hard time finding the 0:33:08.320 --> 0:33:12.800 empathy for Jana's point of view because it just did 0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:16.040 not make sense to me. And so so here's. 0:33:15.880 --> 0:33:17.800 Why I was trying to tell him that it doesn't 0:33:17.800 --> 0:33:19.800 need to make sense to you. But that's still I'm 0:33:19.840 --> 0:33:22.400 still allowed to have those feelings. 0:33:22.560 --> 0:33:25.160 So my big question would be did you try? Did 0:33:25.200 --> 0:33:27.000 you try to understand her feelings? 0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:30.120 Because empathy has got two pieces of Empathy is not 0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:33.840 a one way street. Okay, it's not just I get 0:33:33.880 --> 0:33:36.520 your feelings, but it's also you taking a minute and 0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:40.240 reflecting on yourself and saying, is how I'm acting now 0:33:41.040 --> 0:33:42.080 uncomfortable for her? 0:33:42.680 --> 0:33:44.760 And because even if you were to say something. 0:33:44.520 --> 0:33:46.280 Like you know, I'm going to be honest with you, 0:33:46.880 --> 0:33:50.920 I'm struggling with this, like with understanding this. But I 0:33:50.960 --> 0:33:53.280 can look at your face and see that you're hurt, 0:33:54.000 --> 0:33:56.880 and so I love you or care about you, whatever 0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:59.480 your feeling is for this person, I don't want you 0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:01.840 to be hurt, so how can you help me? 0:34:01.880 --> 0:34:04.760 Help you? At this point? So it's not you may listen. 0:34:04.880 --> 0:34:07.960 We don't always get someone else's feelings, right, I don't understand. 0:34:07.960 --> 0:34:09.440 Sometimes when somebody. 0:34:09.320 --> 0:34:11.560 Is I don't understand, and my clients and I they 0:34:11.600 --> 0:34:14.560 scratch on my head thinking they are what are they thinking? 0:34:14.840 --> 0:34:17.520 But I can read their faith and they're in pain. 0:34:17.880 --> 0:34:20.480 So this is real. And one of the worst things 0:34:20.480 --> 0:34:23.040 we can ever do to someone is judge their emotions 0:34:23.440 --> 0:34:24.360 because we don't. 0:34:24.160 --> 0:34:24.560 Get to it. 0:34:24.680 --> 0:34:27.000 It's almost like telling someone else you must be hungry. 0:34:27.120 --> 0:34:28.719 How the hell are you supposed to know that they're hungry. 0:34:28.760 --> 0:34:31.480 They're the ones it's their stomach. Let them figure it out, 0:34:31.640 --> 0:34:35.520 so you can't anticipate that. But making a good faith 0:34:35.560 --> 0:34:38.320 attempt at saying I actually don't intellectually get. 0:34:38.200 --> 0:34:40.759 It, but I see it, so please help me because 0:34:40.800 --> 0:34:41.440 I love you. 0:34:41.480 --> 0:34:43.279 I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want 0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:44.440 you to be hurting. I don't want you to be 0:34:44.520 --> 0:34:47.080 in pain. I want you to feel understood. We're not 0:34:47.120 --> 0:34:49.920 always going to be understood. Someone may not understand. For example, 0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:52.279 let's say somebody I don't goes through a breakup, and 0:34:52.400 --> 0:34:54.960 six months later they're still obsessing about the breakup and 0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:56.960 the relationship only lasted three months. 0:34:57.160 --> 0:34:59.239 Everyone around them might say I don't get it. 0:34:59.440 --> 0:35:01.840 I'd say to them, you may not get it, but 0:35:01.920 --> 0:35:04.000 this is real for them, and the best thing we 0:35:04.080 --> 0:35:07.279 can do is just be there attempt to get it. 0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:09.240 But more than anything, see that our friend is hurting, 0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:11.520 and that sometimes is all the antidote you need, and 0:35:11.520 --> 0:35:13.920 that's what can keep a relationship going. I know with 0:35:14.360 --> 0:35:16.600 my partner, he'll say, you know, honey, I don't get it, 0:35:17.040 --> 0:35:19.000 and he'll just put his arms around me and that's 0:35:19.040 --> 0:35:19.839 it and I'm good. 0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:23.000 And why is it so hard, though, for him to like. 0:35:24.600 --> 0:35:27.480 Do that, because I think he's trying to intellectualize it. 0:35:27.600 --> 0:35:30.279 You know, never make a feeling intellectual, because it's not 0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:32.080 it's not a thought, it's a feeling. 0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:33.040 It's like being hungry. 0:35:33.400 --> 0:35:35.160 Like I said, you don't know if someone else is hungry, 0:35:35.160 --> 0:35:36.919 and you have to trust in good faith that they are. 0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:39.319 And let's say you just ate an enormous meal and 0:35:39.360 --> 0:35:40.480 they say I'm still hungry. 0:35:40.480 --> 0:35:42.400 You can't say you can't be hungry. We just ate 0:35:42.440 --> 0:35:45.120 so much. They just that they're hungry. You have to 0:35:45.200 --> 0:35:47.960 run and roll with that. So it is about trusting. 0:35:47.520 --> 0:35:51.239 The other person, and the arrogance comes from thinking like, no, 0:35:51.400 --> 0:35:54.240 they can't be feeling that because that's only one person's experience. 0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:56.960 So it's really about stepping out of yourself and saying 0:35:57.000 --> 0:35:59.000 this is possible feeling this way. 0:35:59.400 --> 0:36:02.080 You have to under standard. I simply need to be 0:36:02.239 --> 0:36:06.359 here to accept it. There's a difference between understanding and accepting, right. 0:36:06.640 --> 0:36:09.760 And the thing is, ultimately I do end up getting 0:36:09.800 --> 0:36:12.359 to that point, but it is I mean literally last night, 0:36:13.120 --> 0:36:14.919 but Jana had to like walk out of the room 0:36:15.000 --> 0:36:19.400 because she was getting so frustrated that I was physically 0:36:19.480 --> 0:36:24.280 like in agony trying to comprehend, trying to understand. 0:36:24.360 --> 0:36:27.080 It sounds he didn't need to understand. I just I 0:36:27.080 --> 0:36:29.040 didn't need him to. I was just like, that's my 0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:31.279 just say I'm sorry you feel that way. How can 0:36:31.320 --> 0:36:33.960 I maybe help you in the future or something, And 0:36:34.160 --> 0:36:36.160 it just he just physically could not do it. And 0:36:36.200 --> 0:36:37.560 I was like, I cannot hold your hand through this 0:36:37.640 --> 0:36:39.400 right now because I'm getting frustrated and I'm walking out 0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:40.400 of the room. 0:36:40.200 --> 0:36:43.200 Right, And so that idea like and I would want 0:36:43.239 --> 0:36:46.160 to know then what happened in your childhood that understanding 0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:49.360 became so important because that goes deeper, you know, because 0:36:49.400 --> 0:36:52.320 it drives that need that somehow in your early environment 0:36:52.400 --> 0:36:55.560 with your parents or caregivers or even your siblings, there 0:36:55.640 --> 0:36:57.719 was a need to get it and that might have 0:36:57.800 --> 0:37:00.560 given you power in the family system or comfort in 0:37:00.600 --> 0:37:04.160 the family system. These icebergs run really, really deep, and 0:37:04.239 --> 0:37:06.799 if I were my client and I was working with you, 0:37:07.080 --> 0:37:08.919 I would really want to spend the time saying why 0:37:08.960 --> 0:37:10.520 is it so important to get it? 0:37:10.880 --> 0:37:13.799 Why can't you just feel it? I mean, forgive me 0:37:13.840 --> 0:37:15.799 for using sort of a I don't know, like a bit. 0:37:15.680 --> 0:37:19.280 Of a sexy example, but it's trying to understand your orgasm. 0:37:19.280 --> 0:37:21.399 How often you say, wow, that's quite good, and I'm 0:37:21.400 --> 0:37:22.360 feeling like ramped up. 0:37:22.400 --> 0:37:24.520 You're like, no, that felt really good. You know. 0:37:24.600 --> 0:37:27.919 You don't try to deconstruct feelings, whether they're good ones 0:37:27.960 --> 0:37:30.560 like orgasms or eating a great meal, or they're bad ones. 0:37:30.640 --> 0:37:32.120 You just roll with the feeling. 0:37:32.520 --> 0:37:35.200 And I think that in a relationship with somebody's having 0:37:35.239 --> 0:37:37.800 a rough time of it, it's being in the moment 0:37:37.800 --> 0:37:39.880 with their feeling, and it could very well be that 0:37:39.920 --> 0:37:43.520 you're uncomfortable with her discomfort, and by trying to understand it, 0:37:43.560 --> 0:37:46.680 you're creating distance between you and her rather than closeness. 0:37:46.719 --> 0:37:49.480 Because you're uncomfortable, she's fine with her feeling. You're the 0:37:49.480 --> 0:37:50.320 one who's struggling. 0:37:50.440 --> 0:37:54.520 Are certain types of women attracted to narcissistic men? 0:37:54.840 --> 0:37:55.160 Correct? 0:37:55.400 --> 0:38:02.080 Because I repeatedly am very attractive, So. 0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:03.000 What is that? 0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:03.919 What is that? 0:38:05.280 --> 0:38:06.600 Narcissists? Almost? 0:38:06.800 --> 0:38:08.839 I mean, I'm going to use a heterosexual paradigm here, 0:38:08.840 --> 0:38:11.360 so forgive me it, and I'm giving men men women 0:38:11.600 --> 0:38:15.319 women doesn't matter. The narcissist always gets the girl, and 0:38:15.320 --> 0:38:20.400 that's because they're more clever, they're more charming, they're more extroverted, 0:38:20.640 --> 0:38:23.600 they tell a better story, they're much better at dating. 0:38:24.600 --> 0:38:26.759 They can be so attentive. 0:38:26.280 --> 0:38:28.080 In the beginning that you feel like you're the only 0:38:28.120 --> 0:38:29.960 person in the world, and then once they've got your attention, 0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:32.520 it's like putting a butterfly under glass, like they're not 0:38:32.560 --> 0:38:36.399 interested anymore. Now you'd like to think, you know, first time, 0:38:36.480 --> 0:38:37.640 shame on you know, shame on you. 0:38:37.680 --> 0:38:40.080 Second time, shame on me. But some people keep. 0:38:39.880 --> 0:38:42.560 Doing it because what they'll often say is like, if 0:38:42.560 --> 0:38:45.520 somebody's not really exciting in the beginning, I'm going to 0:38:45.560 --> 0:38:47.920 get bored and I'm not interested. But a lot of 0:38:47.960 --> 0:38:51.080 it also comes from early family stuff that many times 0:38:51.120 --> 0:38:53.240 people will say, you know what, I had to really 0:38:53.280 --> 0:38:56.239 pedal fast and hard to get my parents' attention, and 0:38:56.480 --> 0:38:58.520 to this day, to me, love means I got to 0:38:58.560 --> 0:39:02.040 work hard to keep someone's attention, and people will really 0:39:02.160 --> 0:39:04.479 keep replaying that dynamic over and over again. 0:39:04.560 --> 0:39:05.600 I gotta be honest with you. 0:39:05.960 --> 0:39:09.959 Sometimes where it turns around, somebody gets really really hurt 0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:12.360 by a narcissist. I mean they get destroyed by one, 0:39:12.719 --> 0:39:15.360 and then they go date or fall inve with someone 0:39:15.400 --> 0:39:17.360 that ten years before they would have thought was boring 0:39:17.760 --> 0:39:19.759 and they find that, wow, this boring thing is. 0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:21.719 Really hot, Like I am down with this. 0:39:22.160 --> 0:39:24.480 But they really had to kind of go through that, 0:39:24.719 --> 0:39:27.440 they had to get hurt to work through that earlier conflict, 0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:30.360 to realize they were working through earlier kinds of stuff 0:39:30.680 --> 0:39:33.040 to keep winning this person over. And remember, for a 0:39:33.120 --> 0:39:37.200 lot of people out there, their prevailing self story. 0:39:36.920 --> 0:39:38.000 Is I'm not enough. 0:39:38.280 --> 0:39:40.319 I'm not pretty enough, I'm not tall enough, i'm not 0:39:40.360 --> 0:39:44.120 smart enough, I'm not rich enough. And narcissists reinforced that 0:39:44.200 --> 0:39:46.960 idea of not enough. So then people it's almost like 0:39:46.960 --> 0:39:48.880 a job then like I'm going to lose weight, or 0:39:48.920 --> 0:39:50.520 I'm going to be sexier, or I'm going to make 0:39:50.560 --> 0:39:52.000 more money, or I'm going to get a promotion. 0:39:52.400 --> 0:39:53.839 I'm going to win this person over. 0:39:54.120 --> 0:39:56.080 Like I said, that's often a story that starts in 0:39:56.120 --> 0:39:58.000 people's family of origin and then they keep. 0:39:57.840 --> 0:40:01.440 Playing that get this person over is really winning. It's 0:40:01.480 --> 0:40:04.920 really hitting me hard because it's like I always want to, Oh, 0:40:05.000 --> 0:40:06.480 I'll feel so good if I just do. 0:40:06.960 --> 0:40:08.920 I'll bend like a pretzel to get them back. 0:40:09.160 --> 0:40:11.360 Do you feel like you'll end up breaking him? Amy? 0:40:11.600 --> 0:40:12.960 Is that like you're going, you think, But. 0:40:12.960 --> 0:40:14.400 She's nailing it with winning. 0:40:14.560 --> 0:40:17.760 It's like, I'll feel so good when I get them back, 0:40:18.200 --> 0:40:20.839 and I'll be so happy and this time it'll be good. 0:40:21.120 --> 0:40:23.360 And I read I've read like twenty books on narcissism, 0:40:23.440 --> 0:40:27.080 and what's really fascinating is they are textbook like the 0:40:27.120 --> 0:40:29.600 book look like and then this will happen, and it did, 0:40:29.800 --> 0:40:31.919 and then this will happen and it did, and. 0:40:31.800 --> 0:40:34.719 I'm so now we just now you need to see 0:40:34.719 --> 0:40:37.200 why you do that, why you go to those men? 0:40:37.440 --> 0:40:38.480 Did you call the therapist? 0:40:38.760 --> 0:40:41.759 Yeah, Mike has send me has another one today, and 0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:43.879 I feel like I'm getting a little something something right now. 0:40:44.000 --> 0:40:45.759 I know you need to like figure out why you 0:40:45.840 --> 0:40:46.239 keep picking it. 0:40:46.400 --> 0:40:49.000 Yes, because I do agree, like it's on me now. Yeah, 0:40:49.040 --> 0:40:52.279 And I even and I have been hurt so bad, 0:40:52.440 --> 0:40:55.640 so bad, so bad, and I thought, oh, I won't. 0:40:55.360 --> 0:40:58.000 Do that again, and I've done it two more times. 0:40:58.200 --> 0:41:06.680 Yeah, she can narcissists attract each other. I'm saying, is 0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:07.720 it possible. 0:41:11.360 --> 0:41:11.680 Each other? 0:41:11.680 --> 0:41:15.520 And and I like the show? So can you not know? 0:41:15.840 --> 0:41:17.880 I'm the m path. I've read like a lot of 0:41:17.880 --> 0:41:18.839 books I take. 0:41:20.080 --> 0:41:23.560 I'm just curious because I know you're all pretty aware. 0:41:23.400 --> 0:41:25.239 You're aware. I just think, no, no, no. 0:41:25.920 --> 0:41:28.920 Narcissism is so prevalent and it's become sort of a 0:41:28.960 --> 0:41:33.440 catch phrase. But they are truly crazy makers because you 0:41:33.560 --> 0:41:36.960 feel crazy, you're like and they kind of tell you 0:41:36.960 --> 0:41:39.960 you're crazy, and then you think, am I am I crazy? 0:41:40.160 --> 0:41:40.279 Like? 0:41:40.360 --> 0:41:40.600 Wait? 0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:42.880 Am I the one? Am I the one? 0:41:43.000 --> 0:41:45.799 And I I think sometimes they're right, and I'll go, oh, 0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:48.680 if I just do this, then will be good. 0:41:48.920 --> 0:41:51.040 If I just do this, will be okay. 0:41:51.480 --> 0:41:53.399 I feel like that's a lot of that's a lot 0:41:53.400 --> 0:41:58.080 of relationships, so too no, No. 0:41:57.960 --> 0:41:59.080 It's not. It shouldn't be. 0:41:59.440 --> 0:42:02.440 No, you're ever in a relationship and you feel that confused, 0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:04.720 you got to get out. Some women, what you're describing 0:42:04.800 --> 0:42:07.760 is what we call gaslighting. Gaslighting is where you keep 0:42:07.880 --> 0:42:10.759 challenging someone's reality over and over and over again to 0:42:10.800 --> 0:42:12.560 the point where they feel like they're losing their mind. 0:42:12.840 --> 0:42:15.920 And in mental health, gas lighting qualifies as emotional abuse. 0:42:16.200 --> 0:42:17.759 I mean, it's so different than sort of rounding up 0:42:17.760 --> 0:42:19.720 a fist and punching someone in the face. It's exactly 0:42:19.760 --> 0:42:22.319 the same thing, just leaves a different bruise. And so 0:42:22.360 --> 0:42:24.360 when somebody challenges your reality, not okay. 0:42:24.520 --> 0:42:27.400 Some women are strong and like if a man treats 0:42:27.400 --> 0:42:30.120 them badly, they go at this and they're out where 0:42:30.160 --> 0:42:32.879 I'm like, oh yeah, let me come back for ten 0:42:32.920 --> 0:42:33.680 times of this. 0:42:33.680 --> 0:42:36.000 This is this great, let me try that again. 0:42:36.360 --> 0:42:37.279 But it's addictive. 0:42:37.480 --> 0:42:40.680 It's addictive, right because that idea of winning, winning actually 0:42:40.760 --> 0:42:42.359 lights up the dopamine in our brain. 0:42:42.480 --> 0:42:44.200 Like because it is, it often. 0:42:43.960 --> 0:42:47.279 Does become a cycle of they win you over and 0:42:47.320 --> 0:42:49.480 it's really fun and you're having a great time, and 0:42:49.480 --> 0:42:51.160 then they pull away a little bit, like, oh I 0:42:51.200 --> 0:42:53.600 got to win them back over. Again, hustle, hustle, hustle, 0:42:53.800 --> 0:42:57.040 You get their attention, exciting dopamine, and you keep doing 0:42:57.120 --> 0:42:58.520 it over and over again. 0:42:58.760 --> 0:42:59.920 So it's an old cyclone. 0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:02.760 So people who are actually have at all an addictive 0:43:02.760 --> 0:43:05.759 style of their personality, they're often drawn to narcissists too, 0:43:05.960 --> 0:43:08.160 people who don't mind roller coasters, and people who are 0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:10.879 sort of slow and steady. They'll walk away. But it 0:43:10.960 --> 0:43:12.319 is Listen, we're all going to. 0:43:12.320 --> 0:43:14.040 Make the mistake. How many people are going to say, well, 0:43:14.200 --> 0:43:15.960 really attractive guy just gave me. 0:43:15.920 --> 0:43:18.399 His number, I'm going to crumple it up and throw 0:43:18.400 --> 0:43:19.279 it in the trash. 0:43:19.560 --> 0:43:21.000 Actually, by the time I'm. 0:43:20.800 --> 0:43:22.600 Done with people, they do, I mean, because they're so 0:43:22.680 --> 0:43:24.600 scared after they talk to me, because. 0:43:24.360 --> 0:43:26.000 I trained them so well. I'm like, God, these are 0:43:26.040 --> 0:43:26.839 the things to look for. 0:43:27.120 --> 0:43:30.360 But someone smooth and slick and suave and charismatic, I 0:43:30.440 --> 0:43:31.480 really love to get to know you. 0:43:31.480 --> 0:43:34.319 You're the most interesting person in the room. Most people say, Wow, 0:43:34.360 --> 0:43:36.200 this is really great. I want to meet this person. 0:43:36.480 --> 0:43:38.360 So the trick is a lot of people need to 0:43:38.400 --> 0:43:41.160 learn better gatekeeping and the first time, the first time 0:43:41.200 --> 0:43:43.839 anyone fools with your reality, you need to get out 0:43:44.200 --> 0:43:46.600 and that and really to lay that down because and 0:43:46.640 --> 0:43:48.520 then what will happen is the narcissist will try to 0:43:48.560 --> 0:43:51.279 sock you back in. It's actually something called hoovering. They 0:43:51.360 --> 0:43:53.359 will give you the full court press to get you 0:43:53.400 --> 0:43:56.560 back in. And you have to have absolute nerves of 0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:59.560 steel to say absolutely not. Because the one thing, the 0:43:59.600 --> 0:44:01.880 one thing you've got to remember about narcissists that they 0:44:01.920 --> 0:44:04.560 don't change. They are one trick ponies. They only know 0:44:04.640 --> 0:44:06.600 one song and they will not change. 0:44:07.000 --> 0:44:07.520 Interesting. 0:44:07.880 --> 0:44:09.919 This is definitely going to be a trending topic as 0:44:10.160 --> 0:44:12.200 years go on in this society, I mean, the way 0:44:12.280 --> 0:44:14.880 things are going. Doctor Ramani, thank you so much for 0:44:14.920 --> 0:44:17.439 your time. Where can our where can our listeners find 0:44:17.520 --> 0:44:19.680 you to learn more about you know, your outlook on 0:44:19.800 --> 0:44:20.279 all of this. 0:44:21.160 --> 0:44:23.920 Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at doctor Romney 0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:26.520 which is d O C t O R r A 0:44:26.920 --> 0:44:30.319 m A n I. You can find my website at 0:44:30.360 --> 0:44:31.759 doctor Romney which is d O. 0:44:31.760 --> 0:44:35.040 C t O R dash r A m a n 0:44:35.160 --> 0:44:36.120 I dot com. 0:44:36.280 --> 0:44:37.839 If you go to either those places, it will link 0:44:37.880 --> 0:44:40.279 you to my YouTube channel, my Instagram, Twitter, all the 0:44:40.280 --> 0:44:42.560 rest of it too. And new book coming out so 0:44:42.960 --> 0:44:45.200 you can order it. It's just about to hit the stores. 0:44:45.239 --> 0:44:47.080 It's called Don't You Know Who I Am? How to 0:44:47.120 --> 0:44:51.439 Stay Sane in an Era of narcissism, entitlement, and incivility. 0:44:51.480 --> 0:44:53.640 So it's a survival guide for the next century. 0:44:54.239 --> 0:44:56.880 And that's October first. 0:44:56.160 --> 0:45:00.759 Now October first, Yeah, so much appre thank you take 0:45:00.800 --> 0:45:01.359 good care of them. 0:45:01.440 --> 0:45:07.520 But by now, so we all love a good subscription box, 0:45:07.600 --> 0:45:12.399 right from food boxes to wellness boxes to I mean 0:45:12.640 --> 0:45:16.040 anything even Michael Zombie Apocalypse boxes. 0:45:16.400 --> 0:45:18.040 But what about a subscription. 0:45:17.640 --> 0:45:20.560 Box for your kids that's fun, educational and helps them 0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:23.560 develop creative confidence to change your world and also, going 0:45:23.600 --> 0:45:26.520 to be honest, helps me come up with great ideas 0:45:26.600 --> 0:45:29.120 because sometimes I feel bad. I'm like, all right, let's 0:45:29.120 --> 0:45:32.720 just color. But with Kiwiko, they create these super cool 0:45:32.719 --> 0:45:38.120 hands on projects for kids to make learning about steam fun, science, technology, engineering, art, 0:45:38.160 --> 0:45:41.200 and math, designed by experts and tested by kids. So 0:45:41.400 --> 0:45:44.440 again it's so great for moms parents out there that 0:45:44.520 --> 0:45:47.359 are just like, honestly, this is another way to help 0:45:47.440 --> 0:45:50.800 my kid with not only school, but to get creative. 0:45:51.239 --> 0:45:54.319 It's affordable, convenient, and it really encourages your children to 0:45:54.320 --> 0:45:56.759 be anything they want to be. There's no commitment too 0:45:56.800 --> 0:45:59.320 you can cancel any time. Monthly options start at nineteen 0:45:59.440 --> 0:46:02.680 ninety five per month, including shipping. For our listeners. Go 0:46:02.719 --> 0:46:05.160 to kiwiicote dot com slash Jana to get your first 0:46:05.160 --> 0:46:07.640 month free. Every day counts when it comes to making 0:46:07.680 --> 0:46:10.600 a difference, so don't miss out on this amazing opportunity again. 0:46:10.680 --> 0:46:12.920 Go to kiwikode dot com slash Jana and get your 0:46:12.960 --> 0:46:22.040 first month free. That's kiwiico dot com slash Jana. Hey, guys, 0:46:22.239 --> 0:46:26.000 so I've been texting with Lauren because her Laura, Yeah, 0:46:26.040 --> 0:46:31.120 Laurena Elena sorry thinks and her first episode, her first dance, 0:46:31.239 --> 0:46:34.520 just came out on Dancing with Stars, So she said 0:46:34.560 --> 0:46:35.440 she can call in Easton. 0:46:35.680 --> 0:46:37.520 Is that gonna be cool? Can she? 0:46:37.760 --> 0:46:37.920 Can? 0:46:37.920 --> 0:46:38.440 She call in? 0:46:38.640 --> 0:46:40.240 Yeah? Yeah, let's get on the phone. 0:46:40.040 --> 0:46:41.320 All right, Lauren? 0:46:42.040 --> 0:46:44.320 Yeah? 0:46:44.920 --> 0:46:48.240 Hey, oh my god, girl, you killed it. 0:46:49.480 --> 0:46:50.040 Thank you. 0:46:51.239 --> 0:46:53.719 I just watched it again and I was like, is 0:46:53.800 --> 0:46:56.560 that nateh? Like you even know that person? I'm like 0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.040 an a new person. 0:47:00.080 --> 0:47:01.640 And I feel like you kind of because you came 0:47:01.680 --> 0:47:03.759 over and you're like, I can't dance at all, and 0:47:03.800 --> 0:47:06.359 then you came out there and like Michael's like, hey, 0:47:06.600 --> 0:47:07.279 so how did Lauren do? 0:47:07.360 --> 0:47:09.560 Because he was. I think he was watching football. 0:47:09.200 --> 0:47:13.319 And I said, she freaking killed it, Like you did 0:47:13.320 --> 0:47:14.640 not miss like a step? 0:47:15.320 --> 0:47:17.960 Well you I don't know how. 0:47:18.600 --> 0:47:20.440 Here's the thing though, you like, even though even if 0:47:20.480 --> 0:47:22.600 you did, like we never know, and that's something too, 0:47:22.640 --> 0:47:23.840 Like I remember I've been like, oh my god, but 0:47:23.880 --> 0:47:25.360 I missed that and this, and it's like but we 0:47:25.440 --> 0:47:28.320 don't know, you know, like watching. 0:47:28.239 --> 0:47:31.440 Yeah, I was so proud. I thought I was going 0:47:31.440 --> 0:47:31.960 to pass out. 0:47:31.960 --> 0:47:32.800 I was so excited. 0:47:33.920 --> 0:47:34.600 That's amazing. 0:47:34.640 --> 0:47:36.880 Like that's gotta be like the best feeling, like knowing that, 0:47:37.000 --> 0:47:39.480 like you know, it's just like that you're like proud 0:47:39.520 --> 0:47:40.120 of yourself. 0:47:41.320 --> 0:47:43.880 I am so proud. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad 0:47:43.880 --> 0:47:46.160 that it went well and we got Sam. 0:47:46.960 --> 0:47:50.600 That is that's incredible, like literally incredible. 0:47:51.600 --> 0:47:54.520 Because everyone was like, yeah, the judges are going to 0:47:54.600 --> 0:47:57.319 be harder this year, and they worked pretty strict. I 0:47:57.400 --> 0:48:03.920 was like, crap, but Globe like to me, he said, 0:48:04.280 --> 0:48:09.120 don't even pay attention to the score, Like it's no 0:48:09.160 --> 0:48:11.879 matter what our score is, it doesn't matter. It's they're 0:48:11.880 --> 0:48:14.640 gonna be so much more strict this year. This year, 0:48:14.760 --> 0:48:17.880 and it's gonna be okay. Just don't let it get 0:48:17.920 --> 0:48:19.759 you down if we don't get a good score. And 0:48:19.800 --> 0:48:22.360 I was like, is he giving me a pep talk? 0:48:22.560 --> 0:48:24.640 Is he telling me that we're gonna get a bad school? 0:48:25.560 --> 0:48:28.120 When they were like when they said all right, let's 0:48:28.160 --> 0:48:30.200 get your scores, I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna 0:48:30.200 --> 0:48:32.120 pass out right now. I didn't even I was like 0:48:32.239 --> 0:48:35.960 I blacked out. I don't even know. I was so nervous. 0:48:35.960 --> 0:48:37.840 And then we got great scores, and I was like 0:48:38.680 --> 0:48:39.920 I wanted to look at glob and. 0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:45.759 Be like, uh huh, how are you preparing for next week? 0:48:47.320 --> 0:48:50.359 So we have today off? They like made everyone take 0:48:50.400 --> 0:48:54.239 today off. I think that's different. Usually I think, did 0:48:54.280 --> 0:48:56.759 you learn your new dance on Tuesdays? 0:48:56.880 --> 0:48:57.040 Yeah? 0:48:57.080 --> 0:48:58.359 There was there was no days off. 0:48:59.560 --> 0:49:02.680 Yeah, so they like made everyone take today off. It's 0:49:02.719 --> 0:49:07.360 like a new rule, I guess. So I'm just laying 0:49:07.400 --> 0:49:08.839 around praying about it. 0:49:10.480 --> 0:49:12.080 Well, I'm in LA, So let's get together. 0:49:13.120 --> 0:49:16.759 You are uh huh, we have to. 0:49:17.160 --> 0:49:17.759 I would love that. 0:49:18.800 --> 0:49:20.680 Hey a girl, I just got to ask because it's 0:49:20.680 --> 0:49:21.640 out there. How's your heart? 0:49:22.200 --> 0:49:24.400 My heart is good. 0:49:25.760 --> 0:49:30.319 It's it's kind of like weird timing obviously, to go 0:49:30.360 --> 0:49:34.200 through a break right before you go on TV, but 0:49:34.280 --> 0:49:37.239 it's been a good distraction. And John and Friends. I mean, 0:49:37.320 --> 0:49:40.000 I love John. We were best friends before we dated. 0:49:40.000 --> 0:49:42.799 It's just like didn't work out, you know, yeah, but 0:49:42.840 --> 0:49:47.960 we're still friends. I've just talked to him and he says, 0:49:48.000 --> 0:49:51.160 you know, he's really proud of me. And it sucks. 0:49:51.320 --> 0:49:53.839 I mean it's sad, but like now's the times are 0:49:53.880 --> 0:49:56.640 just like have so much freaking fun on Dancing with 0:49:56.680 --> 0:49:59.040 the Stars and I want everyone to vote for Laura 0:49:59.080 --> 0:50:02.360 and Elena because she's incredible person and she's killing the 0:50:02.560 --> 0:50:04.880 like like that was insane. I'm so excited to watch 0:50:05.280 --> 0:50:07.719 every week now because I think I think the mirror 0:50:07.760 --> 0:50:09.520 Ball is going to stay in the Country family because 0:50:09.520 --> 0:50:13.800 that was that was so good, Like it's got to 0:50:13.800 --> 0:50:14.839 be so happy. 0:50:15.360 --> 0:50:18.759 When we get it home. But yes, I want to 0:50:18.760 --> 0:50:22.839 win so bad. After doing that dance that I wasn't 0:50:22.920 --> 0:50:24.640 sure that I was gonna be able to do, Like 0:50:24.680 --> 0:50:27.640 I didn't know how I would do in the moment, 0:50:27.880 --> 0:50:29.680 you know, I was like, please don't get out there 0:50:29.719 --> 0:50:32.319 and forget it. I just kept praying, just remember the steps, 0:50:32.320 --> 0:50:34.800 to remember the steps, because it's so different than anything 0:50:34.800 --> 0:50:37.120 I've ever done. And I was like what if I'm 0:50:37.160 --> 0:50:41.440 like nervous and forget the whole thing. That was like yeah, 0:50:41.520 --> 0:50:43.040 But now that I got that one out of the way, 0:50:43.080 --> 0:50:44.479 I think I can do it. I think I could 0:50:44.480 --> 0:50:44.759 do this. 0:50:45.160 --> 0:50:45.319 Well. 0:50:45.520 --> 0:50:46.360 Just know that Gleb. 0:50:46.600 --> 0:50:48.520 You know, Gleb totally gets that because I remember the 0:50:48.520 --> 0:50:50.920 first dance, like right before the beet beep beep, I 0:50:50.960 --> 0:50:52.359 was like, Glove, I've got the entire thing. I've forgot 0:50:52.360 --> 0:50:53.959 the entire thing. He's like, no, you didn't, just dance 0:50:54.080 --> 0:50:57.000 and it was like end, You're live and I'm like, so. 0:50:57.120 --> 0:51:01.280 It's oh, it's terrible yep on the show. 0:51:02.080 --> 0:51:04.920 I mean it scared you. 0:51:05.760 --> 0:51:09.120 It's like it's like your heartbeat, like coming out of 0:51:09.120 --> 0:51:09.840 your truest. 0:51:13.000 --> 0:51:18.040 Heart. Like it's very well, I love you. 0:51:17.880 --> 0:51:19.759 You looked beautiful. I'm so proud of you. 0:51:19.800 --> 0:51:21.680 And I think the biggest takeaway this is that you're 0:51:21.680 --> 0:51:23.480 proud of yourself too, which I think is huge. 0:51:23.520 --> 0:51:25.960 So I'm so proud. 0:51:26.800 --> 0:51:30.120 I love you. I'll text you later bybe okay, okay, 0:51:30.840 --> 0:51:31.200 bye bad. 0:51:35.040 --> 0:51:37.640 So why does Men's Health called the Peloton bike the 0:51:37.680 --> 0:51:41.560 best cardio machine on the planet. Well, let's break it down. 0:51:42.120 --> 0:51:44.360 So you can't find a workout that keeps you engaged. 0:51:44.400 --> 0:51:47.640 Peloton in this immersive cardio experience with real time features 0:51:47.640 --> 0:51:48.840 that will always. 0:51:48.520 --> 0:51:51.200 Keep you coming back. Work up a great spitt at 0:51:51.200 --> 0:51:53.560 home for less than the cost of a studio class. 0:51:53.719 --> 0:51:57.279 So I actually got to just work with Peloton and 0:51:57.320 --> 0:51:59.680 it was incredible. First of all, their treadmills and their 0:51:59.719 --> 0:52:02.640 bikes are absolutely insane. But the greatest part about that 0:52:02.800 --> 0:52:05.280 is if you don't want to pay for an expensive 0:52:05.320 --> 0:52:09.480 trainer or a gym membership, Peloton offers classes, which is 0:52:09.560 --> 0:52:13.319 so great on their amazing Peloton screen and you can 0:52:13.360 --> 0:52:16.840 either watch live classes or you can download some classes 0:52:16.880 --> 0:52:19.840 that you like from your favorite trainers. It's so great. 0:52:19.880 --> 0:52:21.760 So you can get in your zone with curated music 0:52:22.000 --> 0:52:24.920 designed to move and motivate you, hip hop, country, Latin, 0:52:25.040 --> 0:52:27.440 whatever you're in the mood for. They've got classes waiting 0:52:27.440 --> 0:52:30.279 for you with a variety of themes, difficulty levels, and 0:52:30.320 --> 0:52:34.719 training programs. Experience something new every time you sweat. Live 0:52:34.800 --> 0:52:37.440 encouragement from top instructures makes you want to keep coming 0:52:37.520 --> 0:52:40.200 back for more. So Peloton is offering a limited time 0:52:40.239 --> 0:52:43.120 offer get one hundred dollars off accessories when you purchase 0:52:43.160 --> 0:52:46.400 the Peloton bike and get a great cardio workout at home. 0:52:47.080 --> 0:52:50.000 Go to one Peloton dot com and use promo code 0:52:50.040 --> 0:52:53.360 wind down to get started. That's one oh any dash 0:52:53.480 --> 0:52:57.120 Peloton p e l Oton dot com and use the 0:52:57.120 --> 0:53:05.120 promo code wind down. That's one dash Peloton on dot com. 0:53:05.160 --> 0:53:08.319 Okay, I have to peek, like really bad. Actually you 0:53:08.480 --> 0:53:11.000 actually have to pee. So did Tori? Right here? 0:53:11.080 --> 0:53:11.439 Right here? 0:53:11.520 --> 0:53:13.879 What did she get? Let's see, I feel like toy 0:53:13.920 --> 0:53:14.520 needs to come in here. 0:53:15.000 --> 0:53:16.200 They're blue there. 0:53:16.760 --> 0:53:22.560 I told her not to get that kind. 0:53:25.160 --> 0:53:33.200 It's a peanut butter cups, big old for you. 0:53:33.920 --> 0:53:36.320 Thank you? Go ahead, Tori? Would you have to ask again? 0:53:36.640 --> 0:53:37.960 I had to ask again? Okay? 0:53:38.800 --> 0:53:41.000 She recommended these two and I lost you guys on 0:53:41.040 --> 0:53:42.640 the line, so I didn't hear what you said for 0:53:42.800 --> 0:53:45.000 not getting and I try to ask what Brandy, and 0:53:45.000 --> 0:53:46.319 then you guys were disconnected. 0:53:46.520 --> 0:53:47.160 Well I'm going to go. 0:53:47.640 --> 0:53:48.279 I really have to go. 0:53:48.320 --> 0:53:50.680 You guys keep talking. Thank you for your service. We'll 0:53:50.680 --> 0:53:52.080 go live here on this okay. 0:53:52.280 --> 0:53:56.279 Well, yeah, can you take a phone with you to 0:53:56.320 --> 0:53:57.719 the bathroom bring it in here? 0:54:00.360 --> 0:54:02.279 Can you resist looking at it until you get in here? 0:54:02.280 --> 0:54:03.960 Can you wrap it in paper. 0:54:05.000 --> 0:54:05.719 And then bring it in? 0:54:06.320 --> 0:54:09.080 Is Mike glad to tell us what was Jenna trying 0:54:09.120 --> 0:54:11.680 to express to you last night that you couldn't understand, 0:54:11.680 --> 0:54:14.399 because I want to see if I understand it as 0:54:14.400 --> 0:54:14.840 a woman. 0:54:15.520 --> 0:54:16.680 She was, don't worry. 0:54:16.680 --> 0:54:20.880 I got your back, Okay, Yeah, Yeah, we'll talk babies. 0:54:20.960 --> 0:54:23.279 Yeah, we'll talk about will grow me about how I 0:54:23.280 --> 0:54:26.480 feel about this third baby, and we'll talk about the 0:54:26.760 --> 0:54:28.120 other stuff when you get back. 0:54:28.320 --> 0:54:29.520 I think it's great. 0:54:30.880 --> 0:54:33.600 With her sp but I don't. 0:54:33.440 --> 0:54:36.080 Feel like, how do you feel. 0:54:37.800 --> 0:54:40.200 She's gone real hurry fast? 0:54:40.840 --> 0:54:43.719 I mean, yes, it would be amazing. And I was 0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:45.560 genuine when I told Jane. I was like, if we 0:54:45.600 --> 0:54:47.719 have one, great, If we don't. 0:54:48.040 --> 0:54:50.320 I believe you great truly. 0:54:50.880 --> 0:54:54.960 But right now with this up the air, now the 0:54:54.960 --> 0:54:58.359 things that the ideas of starting all over again, and 0:54:59.280 --> 0:55:01.759 you know that, other plans that we wanted to do 0:55:02.480 --> 0:55:05.080 in a few years, and it just it changes the 0:55:05.160 --> 0:55:08.960 landscape of the next few years life of life. Yeah, 0:55:09.000 --> 0:55:11.040 not even the next few years of life. So it 0:55:11.160 --> 0:55:12.200 just it changes things. 0:55:12.239 --> 0:55:14.040 Well, your house is big enough, That's what I was 0:55:14.080 --> 0:55:14.440 gonna say. 0:55:14.440 --> 0:55:16.600 But how long are you just trusting the universe? Like 0:55:16.640 --> 0:55:18.520 if it is great? 0:55:17.960 --> 0:55:20.400 And that's that's why I'm this way That's why I'm like, 0:55:20.400 --> 0:55:21.879 even though we got to protect me for a reason, 0:55:21.960 --> 0:55:22.799 I'm still just like, but. 0:55:22.960 --> 0:55:25.120 Is a part of you like because you know her, 0:55:25.160 --> 0:55:26.719 and you know if it comes back and it says no, 0:55:26.800 --> 0:55:28.360 She's going to kind of be like, I kind of 0:55:28.400 --> 0:55:29.879 want another no. 0:55:29.840 --> 0:55:32.359 Because my I mean, I'm on my foot's down. 0:55:32.440 --> 0:55:34.759 I also think it's a no. I don't think she is. 0:55:34.800 --> 0:55:35.920 I don't think yes. 0:55:36.000 --> 0:55:37.960 The universe clearly wants you to have this, which is 0:55:38.000 --> 0:55:40.520 totally fine because I love our kids more than anything, 0:55:40.560 --> 0:55:42.480 and like this whole last weekend as hot as hell 0:55:42.480 --> 0:55:43.880 in Nashville, and we were in the pool all day 0:55:43.920 --> 0:55:46.040 every day with both kids, and it was just like, 0:55:46.719 --> 0:55:48.239 this is the happiest thing in the world. 0:55:49.000 --> 0:55:51.480 And it's like the other night, Jolie woke up at 0:55:51.480 --> 0:55:53.920 like four in the morning for some reason, came into bed. 0:55:54.560 --> 0:55:56.279 I'm on I'm near the door side. She came in 0:55:56.360 --> 0:55:58.719 late in my arms for like twenty minutes. I took 0:55:58.719 --> 0:56:00.520 her upstairs to her room. She wanted me to lay 0:56:00.520 --> 0:56:02.560 with her and read her story. We fell asleep together 0:56:02.560 --> 0:56:04.239 in her bed. I'm like this right here. I was like, 0:56:04.280 --> 0:56:06.040 nothing in the world beats this. I was like, so 0:56:06.080 --> 0:56:07.680 if I have a third kid to do that again with. 0:56:07.800 --> 0:56:11.399 I was like, I wouldn't regret that. What's boy or girl, 0:56:11.760 --> 0:56:13.720 it wouldn't matter. Jana would want a boy. 0:56:15.440 --> 0:56:15.680 Down. 0:56:18.160 --> 0:56:19.360 She's like, I want five boys. 0:56:19.600 --> 0:56:20.000 Wow. 0:56:20.280 --> 0:56:21.600 I just feel like a part of her is gonna 0:56:21.600 --> 0:56:23.040 be a little sad if she comes in and it's 0:56:23.040 --> 0:56:26.040 a no, Like I know she's gonna that. 0:56:26.080 --> 0:56:29.520 I honestly have no empathy for because I'm like, this 0:56:29.560 --> 0:56:31.359 isn't like this. 0:56:31.320 --> 0:56:33.319 Would just be a bonus, like like, yeah, it'd be. 0:56:33.280 --> 0:56:35.759 Great, it be amazing because you were you guys did 0:56:35.800 --> 0:56:38.120 decide as as a. 0:56:37.880 --> 0:56:39.400 Unit that you were done, and you went and did 0:56:39.400 --> 0:56:40.000 your thing right. 0:56:40.560 --> 0:56:42.680 Even though the next day she's like, actually I don't. 0:56:42.520 --> 0:56:44.840 Know, dude. We were sitting here in the podcast and 0:56:44.880 --> 0:56:47.560 she was like, actually, I know, that. 0:56:47.560 --> 0:56:52.319 Was very fascinating. I mean, she's not pregnant. I'm I 0:56:52.360 --> 0:56:53.200 would be willing to be. 0:56:53.480 --> 0:56:56.520 But like Sarah's saying, she's definitely gonna probably be a 0:56:56.520 --> 0:57:00.919 little upset if she's not. But okay, Sarah, what's your gut? 0:57:03.440 --> 0:57:03.640 Rely? 0:57:04.280 --> 0:57:06.719 I mean, the sectomies are pretty good. 0:57:07.600 --> 0:57:08.520 Oh god, she's bad. 0:57:10.000 --> 0:57:11.960 Did you do you have a paper towel? It has 0:57:12.000 --> 0:57:17.040 a cap I don't know these things is clean? Cover 0:57:17.080 --> 0:57:17.360 it up? 0:57:17.640 --> 0:57:18.480 What do you cover it up? 0:57:18.520 --> 0:57:21.040 I don't know. So it's like we all unveeel it together. 0:57:21.280 --> 0:57:24.120 We gradually get no spoilers. 0:57:24.320 --> 0:57:25.920 What do you mean spoilers up? 0:57:26.160 --> 0:57:29.040 Yeah, there you go, say it takes. 0:57:30.640 --> 0:57:33.480 Now now you've been gone for two. 0:57:33.840 --> 0:57:35.880 Yeah, it'll show up now because it usually shows up 0:57:35.880 --> 0:57:38.160 with and like like the real Yeah, just give it 0:57:38.200 --> 0:57:38.680 a minute. 0:57:39.360 --> 0:57:41.120 Let's talk about the other stuff and then we'll come 0:57:41.120 --> 0:57:41.480 back to this. 0:57:41.960 --> 0:57:43.560 You're really gonna make us a base. 0:57:43.720 --> 0:57:46.800 That's so rude because what if it says not and 0:57:46.840 --> 0:57:48.840 then in another minute it says yes. 0:57:49.400 --> 0:57:51.000 I don't think they can change their minds. 0:57:54.840 --> 0:57:58.840 That's like almost worse than what Toy said, did you 0:57:58.880 --> 0:57:59.440 take did. 0:57:59.280 --> 0:57:59.680 You take one? 0:57:59.760 --> 0:58:00.000 Or two? 0:58:00.160 --> 0:58:02.280 I just did one before you Look, how are you feeling? 0:58:02.640 --> 0:58:04.360 Actually, as I was doing it, I was like, Oh, 0:58:04.400 --> 0:58:05.919 I'm kind of like, I'm kind of nervous right now. 0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:08.640 Yeah, you're taking a pregnancy test. 0:58:08.680 --> 0:58:10.800 I would be nervous to do you have a feeling 0:58:10.920 --> 0:58:12.560 how you'll feel if it's a yes or a no? 0:58:14.200 --> 0:58:16.680 Like as excited as I would be, I'm like, I'm 0:58:16.840 --> 0:58:18.600 I'm good to where we're at. 0:58:18.920 --> 0:58:21.760 Okay, we're good. I think I feel that well. 0:58:21.960 --> 0:58:24.360 I think that you'll there will be tears. 0:58:24.360 --> 0:58:28.040 If it's no, a little misty, a little bit of 0:58:28.040 --> 0:58:31.120 a little bit, I think i'd be okay. 0:58:31.360 --> 0:58:33.240 I do too. Think about how drunk you're going to 0:58:33.240 --> 0:58:36.520 get right, you're. 0:58:36.360 --> 0:58:39.120 Going to get you know. I was really excited. 0:58:39.760 --> 0:58:41.240 I feel like we can look, can we look? 0:58:42.080 --> 0:58:51.920 Oh god, I'm actually freaking out. Okay, look right, procedure. 0:58:54.040 --> 0:58:56.600 Somehow Okay, ready, what do you do? 0:58:56.960 --> 0:58:57.520 Oh my god? 0:58:57.800 --> 0:59:00.000 If it's two lines, we're pregnant. If it's one line, we're. 0:58:59.840 --> 0:59:05.880 Not, there's. 0:59:05.080 --> 0:59:07.800 Wait, how many lines are Jesus? Oh god? 0:59:08.280 --> 0:59:11.200 To okay, what is it? One more time? 0:59:11.840 --> 0:59:26.360 You're lying limiting? He's like, double jacket. Are you looking 0:59:26.400 --> 0:59:32.640 at the lines? I'm not pregnant? 0:59:33.840 --> 0:59:36.600 How accurate are those things though? I mean they're pretty 0:59:36.600 --> 0:59:37.440 accurate of. 0:59:37.440 --> 0:59:39.880 Him having a vasectomy, and it's saying no, I'm going 0:59:40.080 --> 0:59:40.840 pretty solid. 0:59:40.960 --> 0:59:44.680 No, I'm looking for the second one. Oh god. Because 0:59:44.720 --> 0:59:47.959 sometimes she's like the line is there? 0:59:48.000 --> 0:59:50.800 I just show up though, It's like, now what. 0:59:52.440 --> 0:59:54.000 You try? 0:59:54.080 --> 0:59:57.040 What did I tell you? 0:59:56.680 --> 0:59:57.120 You know? 0:59:57.240 --> 0:59:58.160 She'll be happy? She won't. 0:59:58.200 --> 1:00:01.960 I'm like, I really think she's gonna be like just try. 1:00:02.160 --> 1:00:03.400 I kind of do, babe. 1:00:03.640 --> 1:00:07.320 Oh you know, like what a bummer? 1:00:07.640 --> 1:00:11.640 No, who knows? Maybe need some candy? 1:00:11.720 --> 1:00:14.840 Yeah, I started eating. I just literally packed up in chips. 1:00:14.840 --> 1:00:15.920 I'm like, I can't with this. 1:00:16.480 --> 1:00:19.440 I Am like, she's like, someone take a test, someone, 1:00:19.960 --> 1:00:23.720 Maybe I'm going through menopause. My mom went through menopause 1:00:23.720 --> 1:00:24.280 at thirty three. 1:00:24.360 --> 1:00:26.000 Oh yeah, then maybe because she thought she was. 1:00:26.000 --> 1:00:27.520 She took me to the doctor's with her and thought 1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:28.000 that she was. 1:00:28.200 --> 1:00:29.080 I'm gonna look at that later. 1:00:29.120 --> 1:00:31.760 By the way, she thought that she was pregnant, and 1:00:32.040 --> 1:00:33.320 she went through early menopause. 1:00:34.040 --> 1:00:35.000 So that's why I've always. 1:00:34.760 --> 1:00:36.240 Get a full out of whack at your age. But 1:00:36.240 --> 1:00:38.600 will you tell us what happened last night? Because I'm 1:00:38.600 --> 1:00:41.000 really curious whose side I'm on. I'm sorry to say that, 1:00:41.040 --> 1:00:41.320 but I. 1:00:41.240 --> 1:00:44.080 Really I'm most likely did you already tell your part? 1:00:44.200 --> 1:00:47.680 No, I'm most likely you wanted to wait because you 1:00:47.720 --> 1:00:54.320 wanted to Well, he seemed a little frustrated because sometimes 1:00:54.320 --> 1:00:56.960 like nighttime routine can be a little a lot. 1:00:57.720 --> 1:01:00.840 So he seemed just a little more on edge and frustrated. 1:01:02.600 --> 1:01:06.960 And so when we put the kids down, I was 1:01:07.000 --> 1:01:08.920 coming down the stairs and this is the second time 1:01:08.960 --> 1:01:12.160 he's made a comment about the gates, the baby gates 1:01:12.200 --> 1:01:12.720 not closing. 1:01:13.160 --> 1:01:14.440 When was the other time. 1:01:15.000 --> 1:01:16.600 I was saying, I was like, oh, He's like, did 1:01:16.600 --> 1:01:18.000 you close the gate when we went up to take 1:01:18.320 --> 1:01:20.840 Jason to the bath and you would just close the gate. 1:01:20.840 --> 1:01:22.440 I was like, oh, no, it doesn't close very well. 1:01:23.480 --> 1:01:25.280 Yeah. All I asked was did you close the gate? 1:01:25.360 --> 1:01:26.920 I know, but and I said no, So then that 1:01:27.040 --> 1:01:28.600 was so. Then the second time was then when I 1:01:28.600 --> 1:01:32.000 came down the steps, and so he was just kind 1:01:32.040 --> 1:01:33.600 of like in a little weird of a mood. And 1:01:33.640 --> 1:01:37.800 then he said this sounds like so juvenile now, but 1:01:38.360 --> 1:01:40.160 we're walking down the I'm walking down the steps and 1:01:40.160 --> 1:01:41.480 he goes, is it so hard for you to not 1:01:41.520 --> 1:01:42.040 shut the gate? 1:01:42.400 --> 1:01:45.800 No? I didn't. I just like, too, that's not at 1:01:45.840 --> 1:01:47.760 all how I said it or what I said. 1:01:47.800 --> 1:01:50.600 You were very like dead, honey, I said. 1:01:50.360 --> 1:01:52.560 Did you What did I say? I said, did you 1:01:52.560 --> 1:01:54.480 need did you have a hard time shutting the gate? 1:01:54.600 --> 1:01:57.120 Because you had said it's hard to shut? No, but 1:01:57.400 --> 1:01:59.400 you know, we got it fixed. But because the last 1:01:59.480 --> 1:02:02.880 isn't fall completely on it. But this against context, that's 1:02:03.040 --> 1:02:04.000 that's important. 1:02:04.160 --> 1:02:05.760 But you said, do you have a hard time shutting 1:02:05.760 --> 1:02:08.600 the gate, and I'm like, oh, it just it was 1:02:08.640 --> 1:02:10.760 like very deadpanned, and he was just and I just 1:02:10.840 --> 1:02:13.800 was like okay, like sorry, and to kind of ran 1:02:13.840 --> 1:02:16.160 at the step scene how to like close up properly, 1:02:17.840 --> 1:02:20.040 and then I just again because to me, that was 1:02:20.080 --> 1:02:21.919 not like later on he said that was a joke, 1:02:21.960 --> 1:02:23.840 but I'm like, but you seemed frustrated early on, so 1:02:23.840 --> 1:02:25.240 I didn't really take it as a joke because it 1:02:25.240 --> 1:02:28.280 seemed kind of passive. So when we were in the lawndroom, 1:02:28.320 --> 1:02:29.960 I was just like, hey, I don't know what's going on, 1:02:30.040 --> 1:02:32.160 but if there's something bothering you, will you just please 1:02:32.240 --> 1:02:34.880 let me know, like invitation basically to come talk to me. 1:02:35.400 --> 1:02:38.480 He's like, nothing's wrong, and I'm just like I love how. 1:02:38.320 --> 1:02:45.600 The infliction of her voice to act. 1:02:43.960 --> 1:02:46.600 But like, yeah, I mean you still were like nothing 1:02:46.640 --> 1:02:48.880 like you wasn't like, oh no, babe, I'm totally fine. 1:02:48.880 --> 1:02:51.800 I'm sorry that you think something's wrong, like it was sorry, 1:02:51.840 --> 1:02:53.320 Oh you don't okay, you don't say you're sorry, but 1:02:53.360 --> 1:02:55.320 you can you know, you could have been like, oh no, babe, 1:02:55.320 --> 1:02:58.240 nothing's wrong at all. And so it's a different like 1:02:58.280 --> 1:03:01.880 sometimes like your tone is can you taken a little harsher? 1:03:02.160 --> 1:03:03.560 Do you guys watch the show The Affair? 1:03:04.720 --> 1:03:06.560 So here's what's super fascinating and why I think you 1:03:06.600 --> 1:03:08.840 guys should watch it the way they do well, it 1:03:08.920 --> 1:03:09.640 is about an affair. 1:03:10.360 --> 1:03:11.200 You'll be able to handle that. 1:03:12.120 --> 1:03:17.880 The clearly they shoot the same scene. Oh love that 1:03:18.000 --> 1:03:20.800 from the woman's perspective. 1:03:20.640 --> 1:03:22.160 And then the man's love. 1:03:22.400 --> 1:03:28.320 It's the same sort of scenario, and the differences are amazing, 1:03:28.440 --> 1:03:35.320 Like it's incredibly because the way it lands on one 1:03:35.440 --> 1:03:38.160 character when you're seeing it from the male perspective and 1:03:38.200 --> 1:03:43.320 then the opposite, and as the viewer, you're really like, well, wow, yeah, 1:03:43.360 --> 1:03:44.040 I don't know what. 1:03:44.120 --> 1:03:47.280 Happened now because I see both. Yeah, it's super fascinating 1:03:47.320 --> 1:03:48.160 and that's what I see. 1:03:48.240 --> 1:03:50.280 Yeah, No, for sure, And I can get like, you know, 1:03:50.320 --> 1:03:52.000 there's times when you know, he's a little bit more 1:03:52.040 --> 1:03:53.040 quieter than other times. 1:03:53.240 --> 1:03:55.640 But you know, lately he has been a little bit more. 1:03:57.640 --> 1:04:01.160 Just smoothie, I guess, and so it's just been kind 1:04:01.160 --> 1:04:04.680 of hard to decipher that and it just you know, 1:04:04.840 --> 1:04:07.160 I just think his tone sometimes is very hard to 1:04:07.320 --> 1:04:11.200 take because it's it's not cheery. It doesn't have to 1:04:11.240 --> 1:04:12.600 be You don't have to always be cheery, but you 1:04:12.680 --> 1:04:15.120 can tell when someone's tone is a little off. And 1:04:15.160 --> 1:04:19.040 so then I came then into the living room and 1:04:19.080 --> 1:04:22.000 I was like, hey, can you just understand or try 1:04:22.000 --> 1:04:24.160 to understand, like why I thought that that wasn't a 1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:26.800 joke about the thing, and how like it seems passive 1:04:26.840 --> 1:04:28.640 to me, and how I still feel like there's something 1:04:28.640 --> 1:04:30.800 wrong with you and I'm sorry that if there isn't, 1:04:30.840 --> 1:04:32.720 like that is totally annoying. And I get that too, 1:04:32.840 --> 1:04:35.880 Like that sucks because like you ask me that sometimes too, 1:04:35.880 --> 1:04:38.200 and it's not. But I'm just I just want you 1:04:38.240 --> 1:04:40.840 to understand why I didn't take that as a joy. 1:04:41.400 --> 1:04:44.720 Hey, that landed on me weird. Do you mind explaining it? 1:04:46.120 --> 1:04:47.480 Yeah, I guess. 1:04:47.480 --> 1:04:49.560 Sometimes remember that one time there was a doctor here 1:04:49.600 --> 1:04:51.440 I don't remember her name, and she said something like 1:04:51.920 --> 1:04:53.840 if you had more like oh god, it was like 1:04:53.880 --> 1:04:57.200 something like emotional, if you had more in the bank 1:04:57.280 --> 1:04:59.960 or something more like a I feel like that's how 1:05:00.080 --> 1:05:05.080 it is sometimes like he was probably joking, but because 1:05:06.160 --> 1:05:09.320 the tone is not, you're more hyper sensitive to it. 1:05:09.440 --> 1:05:11.880 So like because like I'm the same, Like sometimes I'll 1:05:11.920 --> 1:05:14.320 just like say, like you know, dumb whatever to tie 1:05:14.400 --> 1:05:15.600 or he'll say it to me, and it kind of 1:05:15.640 --> 1:05:18.720 just like bounces. But I feel like, because you're because 1:05:18.720 --> 1:05:20.480 of what you guys have been through, you're just more 1:05:20.560 --> 1:05:22.800 hyper sensitive to what he says. And then when you say, 1:05:22.880 --> 1:05:25.640 is is something wrong? Maybe he's more hyper sensitive to 1:05:25.680 --> 1:05:26.960 you being like why is something wrong? 1:05:27.000 --> 1:05:30.040 You know what I'm saying, Like I feel like that 1:05:30.080 --> 1:05:30.880 could be it for sure. 1:05:31.520 --> 1:05:34.080 That's what I feel like. I'm kind of hearing because 1:05:34.600 --> 1:05:36.040 I feel like you both are probably like, yeah, it 1:05:36.120 --> 1:05:38.240 was nothing, but it was something like he doesn't like 1:05:38.280 --> 1:05:40.160 when you say you know what's wrong or something wrong, 1:05:40.440 --> 1:05:42.240 but then you don't like when he snaps or whatever 1:05:42.280 --> 1:05:44.080 it is. Even if it was a joke, you didn't 1:05:44.080 --> 1:05:46.400 think it was a joke because you're just more. 1:05:47.160 --> 1:05:49.920 You're not you're not sensitive, but you're more. 1:05:49.840 --> 1:05:52.200 Hyper sensitive to things he and now we're making him 1:05:52.240 --> 1:05:56.000 out an skin right. It's just like his restingness though, 1:05:56.080 --> 1:05:56.800 is like because he. 1:05:56.920 --> 1:06:02.200 Thinks a while back, was like yeah, basically I remember 1:06:03.360 --> 1:06:05.800 like yeah, and all my friends think you're grumpy. 1:06:06.560 --> 1:06:10.320 I'm like, what, No, because you're you're more like you're 1:06:10.360 --> 1:06:13.200 just like thinking about it, but to you, you're more, 1:06:13.760 --> 1:06:15.080 you know what I mean, So you I could see 1:06:15.080 --> 1:06:16.120 how you'd be like, are you mad? 1:06:16.240 --> 1:06:18.480 But really he's like, no, I'm not mad, but stop asking, 1:06:18.520 --> 1:06:18.800 you know. 1:06:18.960 --> 1:06:20.480 Yeah, And I do get it, but again it was 1:06:20.520 --> 1:06:22.400 the tone in which, like, I don't think you realized 1:06:22.440 --> 1:06:28.400 this is your tone sometimes with when you speak. 1:06:27.400 --> 1:06:30.160 I'm guilty of doing the you should have done this. 1:06:30.600 --> 1:06:32.880 And men do not enjoy that. 1:06:33.040 --> 1:06:35.160 No, So I really learned. 1:06:36.520 --> 1:06:37.600 And it's like, what are you my mom? 1:06:37.600 --> 1:06:38.560 It's like I'd best. 1:06:38.400 --> 1:06:39.080 Not do that. 1:06:39.320 --> 1:06:41.200 Yeah, So I really am working on that because I 1:06:41.240 --> 1:06:42.920 get it. And they don't like to be told what 1:06:43.000 --> 1:06:44.800 to do. So even if you're like, hey, you should 1:06:44.800 --> 1:06:48.080 have said this or you should feel this, it's essentially 1:06:48.120 --> 1:06:50.320 telling them what to do and they don't care for that. 1:06:50.400 --> 1:06:52.040 I just don't know why it's so hard to like, 1:06:52.160 --> 1:06:54.680 I mean, I was literally talking like a therapist, Michael. 1:06:54.840 --> 1:06:56.840 All I'm asking you to do in this moment. 1:06:56.640 --> 1:06:59.960 Is just to please try to understand where I'm coming 1:07:00.240 --> 1:07:02.600 from and then you can say your feelings after that. 1:07:02.720 --> 1:07:04.920 And he's just like he could not do it, and 1:07:04.960 --> 1:07:05.640 I was just like, I can't