Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jandon Kraner and Michael Coffin and I'm.
Speaker 2: Her Radio podcast special guests Sarah Gretzky.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Hi honey.
Speaker 2: I haven't seen you in forever. So excited to catch
Speaker 2: up a lot wind down, tell me everything. It's still weird,
Speaker 2: by the way, looking over and seeing your engagement ring.
Speaker 3: Is it? It is?
Speaker 2: When when we were kind of catching up in the
Speaker 2: hallway earlier, I.
Speaker 3: Was like, oh, this is weird. Did it catch your eye?
Speaker 3: It did?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I tried a red color. I'm not loving it.
Speaker 2: I feel like now when you have a ring on
Speaker 2: your hand, you can't like do certain colors, and Red's
Speaker 2: just not happening right now. It's okay, I love it.
Speaker 2: It's all right, but I love you, I know. So
Speaker 2: what's going on? Plans?
Speaker 3: Oh my god? What's going on? A lot?
Speaker 2: Making more traveling so much. Yeah, we've made We've made
Speaker 2: some moves.
Speaker 3: Dress.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dress is done. I got a wedding planner thrilled.
Speaker 2: Couldn't be happier. She They've done a lot, like everything.
Speaker 3: Did you pick the band?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah?
Speaker 2: Band video photo there? Did you get my picks with
Speaker 2: the bridesmaid's dresses? No to you to me, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: texted you because you sent me you like, which one
Speaker 2: do you like? And I said the top? Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: Oh Sorryry, I thought you meant you sent yeah unclear.
Speaker 2: I cannot decide on the color wardrobe change.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah it's Sarah.
Speaker 5: I mean I'm just making sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just for like dancing reasons. I'm a
Speaker 3: dancing queen.
Speaker 2: I can't be bothered by like a train and a
Speaker 2: so but no, I cannot decide on the color. Okay,
Speaker 2: like in general, well, what's the color of the wedding?
Speaker 3: Unclear? I cannot decide.
Speaker 2: Didn't you just want like black and white?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: But then it's like is that too boring? And then
Speaker 2: it's like classy? I know, everyone keeps saying that super
Speaker 2: classy and then just throw in like a pop somewhere. Well,
Speaker 2: I wanted them in white, like I wanted all the
Speaker 2: bridesmaids and white.
Speaker 6: I love.
Speaker 2: They were like not happening, none of the oh I'll
Speaker 2: shoup'm like cards.
Speaker 3: I just thought it would be so because I wanted
Speaker 3: to be like Heaven, like I just want.
Speaker 2: To be so like yeah, and just the consensus was
Speaker 2: a no, why why? I think they were just like
Speaker 2: I know, but they're like, really, bitch, we're not trying
Speaker 2: to stand up in white next to you while you're
Speaker 2: in white.
Speaker 3: You know, it's not like the most Well.
Speaker 2: They also had dresses like tailor made to like their figures.
Speaker 5: Yeah, doesn't everybody. You don't buy dress off the rack
Speaker 5: and not get it tailored some correct.
Speaker 2: No, my dresses fit a little differently, like on purpose. No,
Speaker 2: I want And that's the thing is, I was like,
Speaker 2: I want them to look good. It's a vibe, Like
Speaker 2: it's a whole vibe.
Speaker 3: They're part of it.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I don't need them showing up looking
Speaker 2: like Frumpleston, like I need it to. I want them
Speaker 2: to look chic and sexy. Definitely don't do red hat.
Speaker 2: What about black with a white embellishment? Black is like leading,
Speaker 2: but I think a simple black would be really pretty.
Speaker 2: White tuxes, oh tie though, No, I'm in white.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're look contrast, right, you're in white ties and black.
Speaker 5: Bridesmaids are in black crimsmans are in white.
Speaker 3: Oh contrast contrast.
Speaker 2: That's kind of cool, But I kind of thought it
Speaker 2: would be like super sick if the guys were in
Speaker 2: like black velvet mmmm no no, because of like where
Speaker 2: we are and like the time, I don't know I
Speaker 2: saw you in London.
Speaker 3: I mean, oh my god, I would.
Speaker 2: I just saw the Ralph Lauren fashion show during Passion
Speaker 2: Week and it was just like, oh, it was like
Speaker 2: goatspy vibes.
Speaker 3: I was just like feeling it. I just like loved it.
Speaker 5: Belack tie, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're like the first person to be
Speaker 3: like ye a guy.
Speaker 2: Because if I still have your tax yeah, I thought
Speaker 2: I wrote all over it.
Speaker 5: That's my wedding. Teh.
Speaker 3: You wrote all over his wedding. Ts I did it
Speaker 3: with the black sharpie. But how did you see it?
Speaker 2: Because he's it was a great Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, sorry,
Speaker 2: but no I have a black I was.
Speaker 3: Angry and I got angry with the black charp. I'm shocked,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm shocked. That's all you did. So it wasn't.
Speaker 5: That's somehow everything all stems back to all this stuff.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, I know it'll be fun.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be a time. What is it, six six months?
Speaker 6: Okay, because we already said the month. It's gonna be
Speaker 6: so fun, so fun? Can I wear black, yes, or
Speaker 6: maybe I'll wear a.
Speaker 2: Deep green okay, love love deep emerald green.
Speaker 4: Love.
Speaker 5: Finally your embracing color.
Speaker 3: I love that. Yeah, I love that too. See.
Speaker 2: I wish I could tell everyone to wear black, because
Speaker 2: I just think that would look so cool. But I'm
Speaker 2: not going to be that bright. And everyone loves black,
Speaker 2: I know, So that's why I'm I'm like, yeah, wear it,
Speaker 2: wear it, love it.
Speaker 5: What do women when it's a black tie event? Do
Speaker 5: women usually have to stick to black?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 3: I just feel like it means more of like a gown.
Speaker 3: It's black tie, I think means long and it just
Speaker 3: means for a guy. Yeah, because what's black tie optional
Speaker 3: that a guy just doesn't have to wear a tie?
Speaker 3: I mean, I have no idea mark, and then you're asking.
Speaker 1: The wrong guy.
Speaker 8: In fact, we've been invited some charity gala next month
Speaker 8: in Beverly Hills, and my wife's kind of freaking out
Speaker 8: because she has sun dresses. She doesn't have gas. Wear
Speaker 8: your nicest suit, that's what I was. Not a talx,
Speaker 8: but wear your nicest suit. So what does she she
Speaker 8: have to wear?
Speaker 1: A long?
Speaker 2: So confusing for a woman, Like if a man shows
Speaker 2: up in a talx, like I mean a suit.
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, where can I go?
Speaker 2: I can go pantsuit, I can go skirt, I can
Speaker 2: go dress, I can go gown.
Speaker 6: I think she'd be fine. I wouldn't say a sun dress,
Speaker 6: but like an evening dress. Would like it could be
Speaker 6: short at a MIDDI, amitty is good, she can she
Speaker 6: can wear a MIDI. I wouldn't wear along for that,
Speaker 6: but for a wedding ed wear long.
Speaker 1: Yeah MIDI. We write that down mid calf.
Speaker 2: But then again, I think a lot of people get
Speaker 2: that confused, and I think they'll still wear the very
Speaker 2: fancy MIDI.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I know.
Speaker 2: I kept finding dresses that I liked for bridesmaids, but
Speaker 2: they weren't quite to the ground, and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I can't do that.
Speaker 3: I can't have them showing up like half assed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I feel like people like, you know, Mike's
Speaker 2: going to show up and show out, you know, yeah.
Speaker 3: Buddy, you're so excited to wear your talk.
Speaker 5: I love where is even though it's in the closet.
Speaker 5: Even though I don't have a lot of opportunities to
Speaker 5: dress up right, I'm not I don't wear a suit
Speaker 5: every day to work. And stuff.
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 5: There's nothing more I love than buying, like a suit,
Speaker 5: like going and getting custom made suit. It's like my
Speaker 5: favorite thing to do, sitting down looking at the little
Speaker 5: fabrics and the button details and the threat details. I
Speaker 5: love it, the lapel everything, I love it.
Speaker 3: That is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, he's like obsessed. You guys
Speaker 3: can go get like matching.
Speaker 5: Last year for my birthday and I'm doing it. But
Speaker 5: it's like two years ago, Mike. But I was like,
Speaker 5: Jane's like, what do you want for your birthday? I
Speaker 5: was like, I just want to go get a new
Speaker 5: suit made. And she's like that's great, but why.
Speaker 2: What are you going to do with it hanging in
Speaker 2: your closet?
Speaker 5: Like we have enough carpet stuff and you know events
Speaker 5: carpet do.
Speaker 3: You wear a suit? Do you could just totally change
Speaker 3: your Oh.
Speaker 2: Yes, twenty five today. Yeah, don't forget, don't forget to
Speaker 2: get out there and vote. I feel like you got
Speaker 2: a lot of people behind you on this one.
Speaker 6: I mean Tanya and Becca have like they're like doing
Speaker 6: sweeps on Kiss FM.
Speaker 1: Tony is obsessed. Also, Tanya.
Speaker 8: Any downtime she has, she's voting with other people's email addresses.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I say, I don't have that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I bet you doing it right now.
Speaker 8: I bet she's actually you can see from the studio
Speaker 8: we can see her staring at her phone.
Speaker 1: I bet she's voting.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna start doing that.
Speaker 2: I'll be your like Tanya like things I know. I like.
Speaker 3: Tina's like how to be a week? And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I forgot to vote this week? Have you voted for
Speaker 3: I did, like twice.
Speaker 5: I haven't.
Speaker 3: Oh, I can't. But it's fine.
Speaker 6: We don't have We don't have seacrests behind us, and
Speaker 6: that's okay, it's okay. You know we have Winem we
Speaker 6: do that market Easton behind us. Well, they also do
Speaker 6: scrubbing into so we're screwed.
Speaker 3: But it's fine.
Speaker 2: It's all good. On the other news, I might pregnant.
Speaker 3: What the fuck?
Speaker 2: Wait, Tory screaming I called it.
Speaker 3: She did, which is so weird if I didn't mention it.
Speaker 3: And now Tanya's.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait, wait, Tori, if you're pregnant in my wedding, like,
Speaker 2: what am I gonna do?
Speaker 3: That doesn't matter?
Speaker 4: No, but.
Speaker 3: My gosh, I called it. You did call it, but
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just I'm lazy. But you have
Speaker 3: fish like a week ago. I'm so stressed. I know,
Speaker 3: so I don't. But here's the thing.
Speaker 2: What bothers me is that Michael, Michael never got.
Speaker 5: You should.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, yes, And I've.
Speaker 6: Literally said to him, Michael, make sure you get checked, Michael,
Speaker 6: make sure you get checked. And He's like, yeah, I'll
Speaker 6: do it, I'll do it, I'll do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And now I'm late late, I have a pit.
Speaker 3: I have a literal pit in my stomach.
Speaker 6: I don't know, doesn't matter a couple I'm always on time.
Speaker 3: I don't miss.
Speaker 5: I think I lost track of how many times since
Speaker 5: I've gotten Aviseectony that Jane said, you know what, I
Speaker 5: really want another kid. I really want another kids. Like
Speaker 5: this is all your.
Speaker 3: Fault, I know, I is giving me I needed to
Speaker 3: have another baby.
Speaker 9: Jesus getting too old.
Speaker 3: Oh Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing though, so Tanya still has her mouth.
Speaker 1: From there.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just saying usually I'm very so,
Speaker 3: so why don't we know, like, why don't we figure
Speaker 3: it out?
Speaker 2: Well? Well, so the other day we're eating casually having dinner,
Speaker 2: and I go, so I might be pregnant. She's like,
Speaker 2: I want to slushy slurpy.
Speaker 6: And he's like okay, And I said, would you be
Speaker 6: upset about that?
Speaker 3: Oh, she's playing games.
Speaker 2: Not games and I and he's like, well, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: necessarily want another one.
Speaker 3: I was like, so you'd be upset.
Speaker 5: I said, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be upset either way.
Speaker 5: I would be upset if we had one. I wouldn't
Speaker 5: be upset if we didn't.
Speaker 3: Well, what a blessing to have another child?
Speaker 5: Yeah? We make I mean we make good looking babies.
Speaker 2: I would love to I would love But I'm just
Speaker 2: saying it's worried. So he's like, when should we take
Speaker 2: a test? And so probably in the next tonight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was thinking on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, can now just go run and get it
Speaker 3: one now?
Speaker 5: Next week?
Speaker 3: Sure? Yeah, we just postmates one up. You can posts
Speaker 3: of pregnant.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you can post he can post me anything.
Speaker 5: Okay, hold on wait wait, did to show up now
Speaker 5: a few days late?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Because usually it shows you like every time I took
Speaker 6: the first one, like it was like six days before
Speaker 6: I'm a miss period is when it would always show up.
Speaker 6: So like it would show up now because I'm late.
Speaker 6: Hold on, because he's getting like this reaction makes me
Speaker 6: think that like you wouldn't be happy.
Speaker 2: All he wants to do is party at my wedding. Okay,
Speaker 2: that's all he's worried about. He just just concerned. It's
Speaker 2: all about the wedding.
Speaker 5: It is all about the wedding.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Okay, So like let's see, you're gonna be like September
Speaker 3: you guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Torri just asked if she needs an I D
Speaker 2: to get a pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Today. I can't.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 2: That is, she's literally running right now to like the nearest,
Speaker 2: like can you get eleven eleven?
Speaker 3: Because can you get one of the whole foods? I
Speaker 3: don't know. I don't think you can.
Speaker 6: I think you can only get public CBS Walgreens' I
Speaker 6: think you need an ID for like planning pan B
Speaker 6: but I think also now you can.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. That's that's so funny. Okay, hold on.
Speaker 2: Here, I thought we were going to come in here
Speaker 2: talk about like just not this.
Speaker 8: So I mean Mark, doctor Romani's gonna be on in
Speaker 8: a few minutes, and then after that, I'm thinking we
Speaker 8: send Janet to.
Speaker 2: The bathroom one hundred and fifty percent.
Speaker 1: I think, wep, and do.
Speaker 3: It in here? Can we just do it?
Speaker 5: Pour the cup over, bring the microphone.
Speaker 2: No, go pee in a cup, bring it in here,
Speaker 2: and then put the thing so we can all just
Speaker 2: be in this together.
Speaker 1: We need some sort of a big bowl.
Speaker 3: Wait, but is it going to show up? I feel
Speaker 3: like you need more time. No, it would show promise
Speaker 3: because mine what.
Speaker 6: Are you doing?
Speaker 3: Michael?
Speaker 5: Whoa, I'm listening.
Speaker 3: He's picking his tooth.
Speaker 4: Oh I thought you were.
Speaker 6: You grabbed your bag to like throw up, and I
Speaker 6: was like, are you okay?
Speaker 3: Are you getting naus? Yes? So, oh my god, I know.
Speaker 3: So that's the thing.
Speaker 6: Are you going to get tested after this though, even
Speaker 6: if it's it, because I think it's still something you
Speaker 6: should see if because we're there's no lack of sex
Speaker 6: in our marriage right now.
Speaker 2: And that's the tea. Wait, hold on, I might be confused.
Speaker 2: Why is what's the problem that he needed to get
Speaker 2: tested again?
Speaker 3: He needed to test to see if.
Speaker 5: You're make sure your tubes are clear?
Speaker 8: Yeah, I got I got tested. I was supposed to
Speaker 8: get tested twice and only got tested once. I was satisfied
Speaker 8: with the results of the first one, they still wanted
Speaker 8: me to come back again.
Speaker 1: But it's fine.
Speaker 8: They said there were found one dead one and the
Speaker 8: one with no motility, right, so like that's good enough
Speaker 8: for me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's.
Speaker 1: Been ten years.
Speaker 5: This is Jane and I and we were even talking
Speaker 5: about this when it came up. I was like, you know,
Speaker 5: we've talked about on here how we go in phases
Speaker 5: with intimacy and sex and sometimes there's some some issues
Speaker 5: around it, but we have not had an issue for
Speaker 5: a while.
Speaker 9: Oh my god, these horny.
Speaker 5: That's definitely been like the one area that's remained the
Speaker 5: most consistent and strongest over the last That's.
Speaker 1: Impressive, you know what.
Speaker 3: That's pretty amazing, and like, let's say it happens. It's
Speaker 3: like this baby was made out of love.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you know sure. I mean not that they all.
Speaker 2: Weren't, but if you're as like connected right now, like
Speaker 2: it's kind of like I almost don't want to know though,
Speaker 2: because if it's not, then I I'm kind of excited.
Speaker 3: I know, I kind of would love enough.
Speaker 2: You're getting back in that chair and getting reversal, so
Speaker 2: they're getting tested.
Speaker 1: Is the worst because you've got to bring it in.
Speaker 5: We didn't.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do it there, didn't know.
Speaker 5: I actually I think I threw away the cup to
Speaker 5: bring it in. The cup made it with me from
Speaker 5: l A to the in the move to Nashville. But
Speaker 5: it's got to be warm. But I haven't used the cup.
Speaker 8: It's got to be within thirty minutes. Yeah, I know, yes,
Speaker 8: I know. It's the worst. And then when you hand
Speaker 8: it to them, the woman gave me a look like, seriously,
Speaker 8: you're handing me this.
Speaker 5: Like you work here at a job.
Speaker 1: I felt like a real schmuck.
Speaker 3: Schmuck.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm pitting out so hard, like in
Speaker 2: a good way, in an interesting way.
Speaker 3: If it's not, would you be upset?
Speaker 5: Did I not remember what I said? I said, if
Speaker 5: we do, I won't be upset. If it's not, I
Speaker 5: won't be upset.
Speaker 8: So the only really upset this is going to be
Speaker 8: if it's not. If you're not pregnant, Jen.
Speaker 1: Is going to be really disappointed.
Speaker 5: I will say this part of me, just with the
Speaker 5: excitement that we're making us into now, is going to
Speaker 5: cause me to be a lit upset if we're not,
Speaker 5: only because like Jace, he's it's such a perfect gauge
Speaker 5: right now, nine months.
Speaker 3: It's exhausted with two. I love you.
Speaker 5: You find a way. No, no, I'm so tired. But
Speaker 5: it's just me, know it is Mark. You just just
Speaker 5: do it, man.
Speaker 1: But I don't want a third.
Speaker 5: Yeah no I don't either.
Speaker 2: I do and so that you know what a third means,
Speaker 2: like new plane seats. You know, you're your seating arrangements.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 1: I five is not a practical amount of people for
Speaker 1: a theme park, the.
Speaker 3: Parks, that's good. Yeah, you have to think.
Speaker 5: Part of the world. Jana is never going to go
Speaker 5: on a roller coaster. So if it's me and the
Speaker 5: three kids, it's two in the front, in the back,
Speaker 5: we're good. Mom's the fifth wheel.
Speaker 2: Oh my, see that works out great for you guys.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: So we'll see Sarah. When are you baby making soon?
Speaker 2: I mean, like, yeah, why don't you just like hold
Speaker 2: off until next year?
Speaker 3: I think we could do it?
Speaker 5: No, no, no.
Speaker 3: What's the difference between now and then?
Speaker 5: A lot? A lot that's a long time.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't mean.
Speaker 2: Baby, Sorry, sorry, I mean like maybe like, but Mike
Speaker 2: again has like a very warped sense of time because
Speaker 2: when we talked about the whole like police thing the
Speaker 2: other day and I made a poll like, hey, should
Speaker 2: Mike do police stuff? And there were so many people
Speaker 2: like he's thirty two, Like you're not, You're so young,
Speaker 2: You're so young, it's just crazy, Like he's just like
Speaker 2: it's for you would want him to believe to be
Speaker 2: a police officer.
Speaker 6: But no, I just was saying, whatever he wants to do.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah, no, of course not but no, no, no,
Speaker 6: I'm like, whatever he wants to do, I would like
Speaker 6: because he was saying like that's something he'd always wanted
Speaker 6: to do, so I'm like, go do it.
Speaker 3: He's like, I'm so old, and I'm like, oh no.
Speaker 5: But that's not what's stopping me. It's again anything else
Speaker 5: that we have going on right now.
Speaker 8: But you would be the oldest do you think amongst
Speaker 8: your like group of cadets in the.
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 5: I will say there's a guy, a childhood buddy and
Speaker 5: my dad's that served in the fire department with my
Speaker 5: dad for decades and when he retired from the fire department,
Speaker 5: he went over and became a police officer.
Speaker 1: Just started from at the beginning to wow.
Speaker 5: Just to kind of kind of double dip on his.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what a nice man is He's a.
Speaker 5: Great and he's hilarious and a great man too.
Speaker 6: Side note, Easton, when we talked about the stuff going
Speaker 6: on with your lady, yes, your wife, our girlfriend, Leslie
Speaker 6: texted us and said, that sounds like he's a fair
Speaker 6: what's that called again, he's trying a fair dating, like
Speaker 6: trying to find like someone to She had a word
Speaker 6: for it.
Speaker 3: I can't remember what it.
Speaker 6: Was, but yeah, so that's something where it's like it's
Speaker 6: totally not inappropriate at all.
Speaker 3: So she stopped a quick update.
Speaker 10: She's like, I'm just gonna just stop responding to this
Speaker 10: dude because they don't like directly work together. It's not
Speaker 10: like it's gonna be an awkward thing at work, right, And.
Speaker 3: He's a fair hunting. That's a fair hunting.
Speaker 6: Listening to the podcast till east and the dude contacting
Speaker 6: his wife is crossing a major line. Not okay, the
Speaker 6: guy is married and is telling her how unhappy he's
Speaker 6: with his wife. That's called a fair hunting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she had.
Speaker 10: She cut him off and he sent like a couple
Speaker 10: like weird messages like the next day. It was like
Speaker 10: because he saw her work and was like, oh wait
Speaker 10: up to this weekend, She's like, oh, nothing, just I'm
Speaker 10: feeling kind of sick. I'm just gonna stay home. And
Speaker 10: then like I think, she posts on Instagram that she
Speaker 10: and I went to Disneyland.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, feeling really sick.
Speaker 5: Huh like that kind of thing.
Speaker 10: Oh my god, you I know, like that was like
Speaker 10: upsetting and so us like Alison said, like I don't
Speaker 10: know this guy anything, Like we're not friends.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 10: He's trying to make me feel like I am something
Speaker 10: that I don't. So just like stopped and uh. He
Speaker 10: kept messaging, but that was like a couple of days
Speaker 10: ago and has hasn't been lost two days.
Speaker 2: She hit him with the block Sam delete as I say,
Speaker 2: like just blocked this time time to block hit him
Speaker 2: with the three I know.
Speaker 3: Well, thanks for the update.
Speaker 1: Toy is on the phone from the pharmacy.
Speaker 2: Tory, Oh, Tory, I'm here.
Speaker 3: Did you did you have to use your ID?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 11: So I listen you guys. I don't know how this
Speaker 11: whole thing works. Do you need to show your ID?
Speaker 11: I'm currently walking tours of Halloween candy.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you what to do?
Speaker 9: You Tori twenty one.
Speaker 2: Okay, toy, just walk in, grab a pregnancy test and
Speaker 2: a bottle of water and some candy, and just leap.
Speaker 3: I think you should.
Speaker 2: Do you have wait, do you have a Do you
Speaker 2: have a ring? Put it on your left finger and make.
Speaker 6: You feel so much better the amount of times I've
Speaker 6: walked in not married.
Speaker 11: You want to know that I literally pointed with my
Speaker 11: left hand so that they could see I had some
Speaker 11: kind of gold band on my finger. Oh my god,
Speaker 11: twenty one over there, That twenty one that went over there.
Speaker 6: The ring idea, Yeah, get to get the first response
Speaker 6: with the lines, not the ones that say yes or no.
Speaker 3: Get the first response. Six days before.
Speaker 11: I'm a period, I feel like I'm close.
Speaker 3: My god, toys like, here's the loop.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of loop there.
Speaker 3: Next they're by the tampon.
Speaker 11: No, I'm literally gonna have to ask her againtory.
Speaker 2: You're a college educated woman. You can find them. Don't ask.
Speaker 12: I love that Sarah said, get some candy words.
Speaker 3: Well, no, you don't want it. Not then you want
Speaker 3: to let You don't want to roll up with one test.
Speaker 2: You gotta act like you just like are stalking up,
Speaker 2: so you grab like some water because I.
Speaker 11: Can't believe it again, and there's like fifteen people in
Speaker 11: line at the partment.
Speaker 3: Not her.
Speaker 11: We don't have all day toy there by the I'm trying,
Speaker 11: I'm you guys, I'm not kidding, I am looking.
Speaker 3: Okay, they're by their tampons.
Speaker 6: That's all first response. They're usually they actually, which.
Speaker 3: Store are you at?
Speaker 11: I'm a CBS.
Speaker 3: Okay, so CBS.
Speaker 2: They might be locked up here in LA because they're expensive.
Speaker 11: Yeah, I'm actually thinking that because they're definitely nice.
Speaker 2: They're like twenty five bars respect. Oh my god, you're
Speaker 2: gonna have to ask someone to unlock the thing for you.
Speaker 11: Ask her again.
Speaker 12: I love that the tequila and the pregnancy text and
Speaker 12: the razors are behind.
Speaker 3: It's so annoying that.
Speaker 11: The one three, it's like.
Speaker 4: We got to help her.
Speaker 11: All right, Okay, we're in action.
Speaker 3: Good luck.
Speaker 5: All right.
Speaker 6: So you saying I'm gonna drink some water, but can
Speaker 6: you grab me in their smart water?
Speaker 3: Thanks? All right?
Speaker 6: Well to be continued finished listening to the show to
Speaker 6: see uh the real real live peing on a stick?
Speaker 2: Are you what if we like what if you mean
Speaker 2: like in like some of so random friend, like you're
Speaker 2: not but like like Danielle's like, oh, I'll take one
Speaker 2: for fun and likes pregnant or like Torri or Tania.
Speaker 6: The job is god, oh that would be well. So
Speaker 6: stay tuned. We're having a guest coming up before I
Speaker 6: do that.
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Speaker 4: Hi, it's doctor Rominey.
Speaker 3: How are you hey? I'm good?
Speaker 4: Thank you. So.
Speaker 2: You have a book coming out It's called Don't You
Speaker 2: Know Who I Am?
Speaker 6: How to Stay Sane in an era of narcissism.
Speaker 3: Why did you write this book?
Speaker 13: Where was?
Speaker 3: Where's your connection to narcissism?
Speaker 7: So I've been working in narcissism as an area for
Speaker 7: over ten years and it was sort of one of
Speaker 7: those things I was working on quietly, and then there
Speaker 7: was an election and everybody started talking about it. But
Speaker 7: in having those conversations, yeah, there's a bigger cultural issue
Speaker 7: around narcissism, and whether it's how the president behaves or
Speaker 7: other famous people behave, or social media, it's really bled
Speaker 7: into regular people's lives. You can't go into a parking
Speaker 7: lot nowadays without people screaming at each other or someone
Speaker 7: screaming don't you know who I am?
Speaker 4: On an airplane or at a hotel clerk.
Speaker 7: So it seems to be something that's bubbled up into
Speaker 7: American actually global culture I'm seeing now, and it's really
Speaker 7: taking a toll on people and all of that cumulatively.
Speaker 7: I've written another book called Should I Stay or Should
Speaker 7: I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist that was
Speaker 7: about narcissism and the intimate space boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,
Speaker 7: because a lot of relationships were sort of crumbling under that.
Speaker 7: But after that book, I got a lot more questions.
Speaker 7: People said, you know what, my husband's fine, but it's.
Speaker 4: My mom who's narcissist. Or it's my boss who's the narcissist.
Speaker 7: This book takes on all of the different kinds of
Speaker 7: narcissistic relationships, but also makes us to take a really
Speaker 7: hard look at our culture and say, how are we
Speaker 7: all contributing to this?
Speaker 4: And how are we all suffering?
Speaker 5: Buck Ramani? At what age does it kind of transition
Speaker 5: from maybe someone just having some character defects or being
Speaker 5: just an a hole or whatever into actual full blown narcissism.
Speaker 7: You know, I actually tell people, especially parents, I'm like,
Speaker 7: put the brakes, I calling this the.
Speaker 4: Name until actually a person's probably.
Speaker 7: Into the early mid twenties, until that age of personality.
Speaker 7: It's almost like a sweater that's too big for someone
Speaker 7: still kind of growing into it. By twenty three, twenty
Speaker 7: four to twenty five, you can look at someone how
Speaker 7: someone's acting and saying, yeah, this is probably going to
Speaker 7: be a pattern. I wouldn't use this word with a
Speaker 7: seventeen year old because I'm as a mother of teenagers.
Speaker 4: I could say most teenagers are awful.
Speaker 6: So yeah, so that's something where you eat it like okay.
Speaker 6: After that time when yeah, it's a wait and see.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you do you find that are women?
Speaker 6: Is it like more men are narcissist or is it
Speaker 6: more women or do you find that to be different.
Speaker 7: Way more men are narcissistic. I'm guessing it's probably eighty
Speaker 7: twenty to be honest with you, and I for sure
Speaker 7: the big spread is how the difference between how men
Speaker 7: and women are socialized. Women are taught to talk about
Speaker 7: their emotions, they're taught to make stronger relational ties from
Speaker 7: an early age. They're not taught to be as competitive,
Speaker 7: they're not as authoritarian. They have very different kinds of
Speaker 7: relationships with their parents. And boys are really taught to
Speaker 7: be competitive. Little boys are told don't cry, you're you know,
Speaker 7: boys don't cry.
Speaker 4: Girls are like cool, you can cry, like cry this
Speaker 4: one out.
Speaker 7: So we do teach them differently, we socialize them differently.
Speaker 4: There's been a lot of talk in the media about
Speaker 4: toxic masculinity.
Speaker 7: Toxic masculinity is sort of a you know, I don't know,
Speaker 7: sort of a pithy way to say narcissism.
Speaker 4: To be honest with you, but is it to catch up?
Speaker 7: Yes, I would say, I run into narcissistic women all
Speaker 7: the time. I have a lot of men who come
Speaker 7: into my practice and say, what have I done?
Speaker 4: Who have I married? And these women are very narcissistic.
Speaker 4: Lots of people out there had narcissistic mothers.
Speaker 7: So I mean, I honestly think that in the next
Speaker 7: ten to twenty years, we're going to see those scales
Speaker 7: starting reading out quite a bit.
Speaker 2: I guess, like, what really truly makes a narcissist? Though,
Speaker 2: that's what I was going to ask, Like, I might
Speaker 2: be a dumb question, but what is a narcissist?
Speaker 7: It's a great question because I think a lot of
Speaker 7: people think narcissist is someone who's really stuck up and
Speaker 7: loves themselves. It's not, in fact, it's in fact, it's
Speaker 7: the opposite of that.
Speaker 4: They're actually really quite self loathing.
Speaker 7: So at the core of it, these are people who
Speaker 7: lack empathy, who are really entitled. They're really arrogant. They're
Speaker 7: constantly seeking admiration or validation. Look at me, tell me
Speaker 7: I'm great. They're really superficial. They're vain, they are very
Speaker 7: prone to rage, they're very controlling. They're also very charming,
Speaker 7: very charismatic. They're very confident, but ultimately, at the core
Speaker 7: of it, believe it or not, they're deeply, deeply insecure,
Speaker 7: and that's why they're always trying to overcompensate. I said, listen,
Speaker 7: if somebody's really good at something, they're.
Speaker 4: Not going to brag about it. They're going to be
Speaker 4: confident like I know, I know this, I got this.
Speaker 7: I don't need to behave like a fool and suck
Speaker 7: all the oxygen out of the room. However, if I'm insecure,
Speaker 7: I'm going to come out punching, I'm going to come
Speaker 7: out bragging, and I'm going to get really irritable if
Speaker 7: things don't go my way.
Speaker 12: It's the no empathy that is sort of the shocking
Speaker 12: part of it, because they truly it's not that they
Speaker 12: are selfish.
Speaker 9: And have no empathy.
Speaker 12: They don't really even understand what it would be to
Speaker 12: have empathy.
Speaker 9: Is that right?
Speaker 2: Uhh?
Speaker 4: No, absolutely, And you nail that. That's actually really well put.
Speaker 7: I think where a lot of people will sit in
Speaker 7: my office and say, I don't get it. Are you
Speaker 7: telling me they just don't care? And I look at them,
Speaker 7: I'm like, yeah, I'm telling you, they just don't care.
Speaker 7: Then people say, what's wrong with me? I said, nothing's
Speaker 7: wrong with you. They don't care about anybody. Again, it's
Speaker 7: the insecurity. Really don't care. They don't have empathy. And
Speaker 7: I got to be honest with you. Every week I
Speaker 7: get emails and calls from people who say I'm narcissistic.
Speaker 7: The word is getting out that we kind of suck
Speaker 7: and I actually want a relationship, and they want a relationship,
Speaker 7: they said, But you know, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 7: I really don't care about feelings and emotions and stuff.
Speaker 4: Can you teach me how?
Speaker 7: I gotta tell you it's hard to do as an
Speaker 7: aftermarket add on at thirty five, to be teaching people.
Speaker 4: Stuff they should have learned when they were six.
Speaker 7: And so, a self aware narcissist is a horrible thing
Speaker 7: to witness because they kind of realize they.
Speaker 4: Don't really care.
Speaker 7: That lack of empathy is what makes it so invalidating
Speaker 7: to have any kind of relationship with them.
Speaker 9: Is it on a spectrum?
Speaker 7: Yeah, absolutely on a spectrum. Not only is it on
Speaker 7: a spectrum, there's different kinds. Like listen, everybody, all of
Speaker 7: us have a few of those benign and narcissistic friends,
Speaker 7: like they're a little bit too instagrammy and they were
Speaker 7: a little bit too edit my pictory and a little
Speaker 7: bit too selfie. You know, there's always that person, but
Speaker 7: you know at the core of it, and they're not
Speaker 7: really good at empathy, but they're not bad people, and
Speaker 7: like there's always good to have a few of them
Speaker 7: on ice for a dinner party because they sort of
Speaker 7: jazz things up.
Speaker 4: Definitely not someone you take your problems too.
Speaker 7: But at the most severe end, we have malignant narcissists
Speaker 7: that almost feel like psychopaths, like they manipulate, they exploit,
Speaker 7: they coerce, they bully, they oppress, like they're really.
Speaker 4: Really dreadful, if not dangerous people.
Speaker 7: And then there's all other sort of your classical narcissists
Speaker 7: who's sort of like the showy, braggy, you know, charming, charismatic,
Speaker 7: kind of is the center of tension person but gets
Speaker 7: grumpy when things don't go that where people aren't noticing them.
Speaker 7: And then you have sort of that stealth narcissist, which
Speaker 7: is the covert narcissist. And these are the people who
Speaker 7: are always victims. They're like, how come nothing ever goes
Speaker 7: my way? You know, I would have been one of
Speaker 7: the great ones if I had been born ten years later.
Speaker 7: You know, things don't go my way because people are
Speaker 7: threatened by me. Those are narcissists, and people think they're pathetic,
Speaker 7: but actually that constantly being a victim. They're very entitled.
Speaker 7: They're like, you know what, I'm too good for a
Speaker 7: nine to five, so I'm going to stay home. So
Speaker 7: the other person who kind of lives in mom's basement
Speaker 7: and somehow is waiting for someone to show up with
Speaker 7: a check, I guess, but they really.
Speaker 4: Do believe that they shouldn't have to work.
Speaker 5: Now, I'm a question. And you know, it's interesting. Jane
Speaker 5: and I talk a lot about the current events and
Speaker 5: also what's current in our relationship, and so you know,
Speaker 5: I hear a lot of talk about narcissism nowadays, obviously,
Speaker 5: and a lot of the traits that you're talking about
Speaker 5: right now, you know, And I feel these little flags
Speaker 5: coming up in my brain and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 5: do some of that or I've done that. I'm this
Speaker 5: way sometimes and like last night, for example, Jane and
Speaker 5: I were kind of having an argument and you know,
Speaker 5: discussing something and I and maybe this is just my
Speaker 5: upbringing as a male. But I find it physically impossible
Speaker 5: or very very difficult at times to actually comprehend maybe
Speaker 5: where Janna is coming from in a situation like to me,
Speaker 5: it doesn't make rational sense, and I'm like, I literally,
Speaker 5: like last night, I had a hard time finding the
Speaker 5: empathy for Jana's point of view because it just did
Speaker 5: not make sense to me. And so so here's.
Speaker 6: Why I was trying to tell him that it doesn't
Speaker 6: need to make sense to you. But that's still I'm
Speaker 6: still allowed to have those feelings.
Speaker 4: So my big question would be did you try? Did
Speaker 4: you try to understand her feelings?
Speaker 7: Because empathy has got two pieces of Empathy is not
Speaker 7: a one way street. Okay, it's not just I get
Speaker 7: your feelings, but it's also you taking a minute and
Speaker 7: reflecting on yourself and saying, is how I'm acting now
Speaker 7: uncomfortable for her?
Speaker 4: And because even if you were to say something.
Speaker 7: Like you know, I'm going to be honest with you,
Speaker 7: I'm struggling with this, like with understanding this. But I
Speaker 7: can look at your face and see that you're hurt,
Speaker 7: and so I love you or care about you, whatever
Speaker 7: your feeling is for this person, I don't want you
Speaker 7: to be hurt, so how can you help me?
Speaker 4: Help you? At this point? So it's not you may listen.
Speaker 7: We don't always get someone else's feelings, right, I don't understand.
Speaker 4: Sometimes when somebody.
Speaker 7: Is I don't understand, and my clients and I they
Speaker 7: scratch on my head thinking they are what are they thinking?
Speaker 7: But I can read their faith and they're in pain.
Speaker 7: So this is real. And one of the worst things
Speaker 7: we can ever do to someone is judge their emotions
Speaker 7: because we don't.
Speaker 4: Get to it.
Speaker 7: It's almost like telling someone else you must be hungry.
Speaker 7: How the hell are you supposed to know that they're hungry.
Speaker 7: They're the ones it's their stomach. Let them figure it out,
Speaker 7: so you can't anticipate that. But making a good faith
Speaker 7: attempt at saying I actually don't intellectually get.
Speaker 4: It, but I see it, so please help me because
Speaker 4: I love you.
Speaker 7: I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want
Speaker 7: you to be hurting. I don't want you to be
Speaker 7: in pain. I want you to feel understood. We're not
Speaker 7: always going to be understood. Someone may not understand. For example,
Speaker 7: let's say somebody I don't goes through a breakup, and
Speaker 7: six months later they're still obsessing about the breakup and
Speaker 7: the relationship only lasted three months.
Speaker 4: Everyone around them might say I don't get it.
Speaker 7: I'd say to them, you may not get it, but
Speaker 7: this is real for them, and the best thing we
Speaker 7: can do is just be there attempt to get it.
Speaker 7: But more than anything, see that our friend is hurting,
Speaker 7: and that sometimes is all the antidote you need, and
Speaker 7: that's what can keep a relationship going. I know with
Speaker 7: my partner, he'll say, you know, honey, I don't get it,
Speaker 7: and he'll just put his arms around me and that's
Speaker 7: it and I'm good.
Speaker 2: And why is it so hard, though, for him to like.
Speaker 7: Do that, because I think he's trying to intellectualize it.
Speaker 7: You know, never make a feeling intellectual, because it's not
Speaker 7: it's not a thought, it's a feeling.
Speaker 4: It's like being hungry.
Speaker 7: Like I said, you don't know if someone else is hungry,
Speaker 7: and you have to trust in good faith that they are.
Speaker 7: And let's say you just ate an enormous meal and
Speaker 7: they say I'm still hungry.
Speaker 4: You can't say you can't be hungry. We just ate
Speaker 4: so much. They just that they're hungry. You have to
Speaker 4: run and roll with that. So it is about trusting.
Speaker 7: The other person, and the arrogance comes from thinking like, no,
Speaker 7: they can't be feeling that because that's only one person's experience.
Speaker 7: So it's really about stepping out of yourself and saying
Speaker 7: this is possible feeling this way.
Speaker 4: You have to under standard. I simply need to be
Speaker 4: here to accept it. There's a difference between understanding and accepting, right.
Speaker 5: And the thing is, ultimately I do end up getting
Speaker 5: to that point, but it is I mean literally last night,
Speaker 5: but Jana had to like walk out of the room
Speaker 5: because she was getting so frustrated that I was physically
Speaker 5: like in agony trying to comprehend, trying to understand.
Speaker 6: It sounds he didn't need to understand. I just I
Speaker 6: didn't need him to. I was just like, that's my
Speaker 6: just say I'm sorry you feel that way. How can
Speaker 6: I maybe help you in the future or something, And
Speaker 6: it just he just physically could not do it. And
Speaker 6: I was like, I cannot hold your hand through this
Speaker 6: right now because I'm getting frustrated and I'm walking out
Speaker 6: of the room.
Speaker 7: Right, And so that idea like and I would want
Speaker 7: to know then what happened in your childhood that understanding
Speaker 7: became so important because that goes deeper, you know, because
Speaker 7: it drives that need that somehow in your early environment
Speaker 7: with your parents or caregivers or even your siblings, there
Speaker 7: was a need to get it and that might have
Speaker 7: given you power in the family system or comfort in
Speaker 7: the family system. These icebergs run really, really deep, and
Speaker 7: if I were my client and I was working with you,
Speaker 7: I would really want to spend the time saying why
Speaker 7: is it so important to get it?
Speaker 4: Why can't you just feel it? I mean, forgive me
Speaker 4: for using sort of a I don't know, like a bit.
Speaker 7: Of a sexy example, but it's trying to understand your orgasm.
Speaker 7: How often you say, wow, that's quite good, and I'm
Speaker 7: feeling like ramped up.
Speaker 4: You're like, no, that felt really good. You know.
Speaker 7: You don't try to deconstruct feelings, whether they're good ones
Speaker 7: like orgasms or eating a great meal, or they're bad ones.
Speaker 4: You just roll with the feeling.
Speaker 7: And I think that in a relationship with somebody's having
Speaker 7: a rough time of it, it's being in the moment
Speaker 7: with their feeling, and it could very well be that
Speaker 7: you're uncomfortable with her discomfort, and by trying to understand it,
Speaker 7: you're creating distance between you and her rather than closeness.
Speaker 7: Because you're uncomfortable, she's fine with her feeling. You're the
Speaker 7: one who's struggling.
Speaker 12: Are certain types of women attracted to narcissistic men?
Speaker 4: Correct?
Speaker 12: Because I repeatedly am very attractive, So.
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 9: What is that?
Speaker 4: Narcissists? Almost?
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm going to use a heterosexual paradigm here,
Speaker 7: so forgive me it, and I'm giving men men women
Speaker 7: women doesn't matter. The narcissist always gets the girl, and
Speaker 7: that's because they're more clever, they're more charming, they're more extroverted,
Speaker 7: they tell a better story, they're much better at dating.
Speaker 4: They can be so attentive.
Speaker 7: In the beginning that you feel like you're the only
Speaker 7: person in the world, and then once they've got your attention,
Speaker 7: it's like putting a butterfly under glass, like they're not
Speaker 7: interested anymore. Now you'd like to think, you know, first time,
Speaker 7: shame on you know, shame on you.
Speaker 4: Second time, shame on me. But some people keep.
Speaker 7: Doing it because what they'll often say is like, if
Speaker 7: somebody's not really exciting in the beginning, I'm going to
Speaker 7: get bored and I'm not interested. But a lot of
Speaker 7: it also comes from early family stuff that many times
Speaker 7: people will say, you know what, I had to really
Speaker 7: pedal fast and hard to get my parents' attention, and
Speaker 7: to this day, to me, love means I got to
Speaker 7: work hard to keep someone's attention, and people will really
Speaker 7: keep replaying that dynamic over and over again.
Speaker 4: I gotta be honest with you.
Speaker 7: Sometimes where it turns around, somebody gets really really hurt
Speaker 7: by a narcissist. I mean they get destroyed by one,
Speaker 7: and then they go date or fall inve with someone
Speaker 7: that ten years before they would have thought was boring
Speaker 7: and they find that, wow, this boring thing is.
Speaker 4: Really hot, Like I am down with this.
Speaker 7: But they really had to kind of go through that,
Speaker 7: they had to get hurt to work through that earlier conflict,
Speaker 7: to realize they were working through earlier kinds of stuff
Speaker 7: to keep winning this person over. And remember, for a
Speaker 7: lot of people out there, their prevailing self story.
Speaker 4: Is I'm not enough.
Speaker 7: I'm not pretty enough, I'm not tall enough, i'm not
Speaker 7: smart enough, I'm not rich enough. And narcissists reinforced that
Speaker 7: idea of not enough. So then people it's almost like
Speaker 7: a job then like I'm going to lose weight, or
Speaker 7: I'm going to be sexier, or I'm going to make
Speaker 7: more money, or I'm going to get a promotion.
Speaker 4: I'm going to win this person over.
Speaker 7: Like I said, that's often a story that starts in
Speaker 7: people's family of origin and then they keep.
Speaker 12: Playing that get this person over is really winning. It's
Speaker 12: really hitting me hard because it's like I always want to, Oh,
Speaker 12: I'll feel so good if I just do.
Speaker 9: I'll bend like a pretzel to get them back.
Speaker 5: Do you feel like you'll end up breaking him? Amy?
Speaker 5: Is that like you're going, you think, But.
Speaker 9: She's nailing it with winning.
Speaker 12: It's like, I'll feel so good when I get them back,
Speaker 12: and I'll be so happy and this time it'll be good.
Speaker 12: And I read I've read like twenty books on narcissism,
Speaker 12: and what's really fascinating is they are textbook like the
Speaker 12: book look like and then this will happen, and it did,
Speaker 12: and then this will happen and it did, and.
Speaker 6: I'm so now we just now you need to see
Speaker 6: why you do that, why you go to those men?
Speaker 3: Did you call the therapist?
Speaker 12: Yeah, Mike has send me has another one today, and
Speaker 12: I feel like I'm getting a little something something right now.
Speaker 2: I know you need to like figure out why you
Speaker 2: keep picking it.
Speaker 12: Yes, because I do agree, like it's on me now. Yeah,
Speaker 12: And I even and I have been hurt so bad,
Speaker 12: so bad, so bad, and I thought, oh, I won't.
Speaker 9: Do that again, and I've done it two more times.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she can narcissists attract each other. I'm saying, is
Speaker 5: it possible.
Speaker 4: Each other?
Speaker 3: And and I like the show? So can you not know?
Speaker 9: I'm the m path. I've read like a lot of
Speaker 9: books I take.
Speaker 5: I'm just curious because I know you're all pretty aware.
Speaker 4: You're aware. I just think, no, no, no.
Speaker 12: Narcissism is so prevalent and it's become sort of a
Speaker 12: catch phrase. But they are truly crazy makers because you
Speaker 12: feel crazy, you're like and they kind of tell you
Speaker 12: you're crazy, and then you think, am I am I crazy?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 4: Wait?
Speaker 3: Am I the one? Am I the one?
Speaker 12: And I I think sometimes they're right, and I'll go, oh,
Speaker 12: if I just do this, then will be good.
Speaker 9: If I just do this, will be okay.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's a lot of that's a lot
Speaker 6: of relationships, so too no, No.
Speaker 4: It's not. It shouldn't be.
Speaker 7: No, you're ever in a relationship and you feel that confused,
Speaker 7: you got to get out. Some women, what you're describing
Speaker 7: is what we call gaslighting. Gaslighting is where you keep
Speaker 7: challenging someone's reality over and over and over again to
Speaker 7: the point where they feel like they're losing their mind.
Speaker 7: And in mental health, gas lighting qualifies as emotional abuse.
Speaker 7: I mean, it's so different than sort of rounding up
Speaker 7: a fist and punching someone in the face. It's exactly
Speaker 7: the same thing, just leaves a different bruise. And so
Speaker 7: when somebody challenges your reality, not okay.
Speaker 12: Some women are strong and like if a man treats
Speaker 12: them badly, they go at this and they're out where
Speaker 12: I'm like, oh yeah, let me come back for ten
Speaker 12: times of this.
Speaker 9: This is this great, let me try that again.
Speaker 4: But it's addictive.
Speaker 7: It's addictive, right because that idea of winning, winning actually
Speaker 7: lights up the dopamine in our brain.
Speaker 4: Like because it is, it often.
Speaker 7: Does become a cycle of they win you over and
Speaker 7: it's really fun and you're having a great time, and
Speaker 7: then they pull away a little bit, like, oh I
Speaker 7: got to win them back over. Again, hustle, hustle, hustle,
Speaker 7: You get their attention, exciting dopamine, and you keep doing
Speaker 7: it over and over again.
Speaker 4: So it's an old cyclone.
Speaker 7: So people who are actually have at all an addictive
Speaker 7: style of their personality, they're often drawn to narcissists too,
Speaker 7: people who don't mind roller coasters, and people who are
Speaker 7: sort of slow and steady. They'll walk away. But it
Speaker 7: is Listen, we're all going to.
Speaker 4: Make the mistake. How many people are going to say, well,
Speaker 4: really attractive guy just gave me.
Speaker 7: His number, I'm going to crumple it up and throw
Speaker 7: it in the trash.
Speaker 4: Actually, by the time I'm.
Speaker 7: Done with people, they do, I mean, because they're so
Speaker 7: scared after they talk to me, because.
Speaker 4: I trained them so well. I'm like, God, these are
Speaker 4: the things to look for.
Speaker 7: But someone smooth and slick and suave and charismatic, I
Speaker 7: really love to get to know you.
Speaker 4: You're the most interesting person in the room. Most people say, Wow,
Speaker 4: this is really great. I want to meet this person.
Speaker 7: So the trick is a lot of people need to
Speaker 7: learn better gatekeeping and the first time, the first time
Speaker 7: anyone fools with your reality, you need to get out
Speaker 7: and that and really to lay that down because and
Speaker 7: then what will happen is the narcissist will try to
Speaker 7: sock you back in. It's actually something called hoovering. They
Speaker 7: will give you the full court press to get you
Speaker 7: back in. And you have to have absolute nerves of
Speaker 7: steel to say absolutely not. Because the one thing, the
Speaker 7: one thing you've got to remember about narcissists that they
Speaker 7: don't change. They are one trick ponies. They only know
Speaker 7: one song and they will not change.
Speaker 3: Interesting.
Speaker 5: This is definitely going to be a trending topic as
Speaker 5: years go on in this society, I mean, the way
Speaker 5: things are going. Doctor Ramani, thank you so much for
Speaker 5: your time. Where can our where can our listeners find
Speaker 5: you to learn more about you know, your outlook on
Speaker 5: all of this.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at doctor Romney
Speaker 7: which is d O C t O R r A
Speaker 7: m A n I. You can find my website at
Speaker 7: doctor Romney which is d O.
Speaker 4: C t O R dash r A m a n
Speaker 4: I dot com.
Speaker 7: If you go to either those places, it will link
Speaker 7: you to my YouTube channel, my Instagram, Twitter, all the
Speaker 7: rest of it too. And new book coming out so
Speaker 7: you can order it. It's just about to hit the stores.
Speaker 7: It's called Don't You Know Who I Am? How to
Speaker 7: Stay Sane in an Era of narcissism, entitlement, and incivility.
Speaker 7: So it's a survival guide for the next century.
Speaker 5: And that's October first.
Speaker 7: Now October first, Yeah, so much appre thank you take
Speaker 7: good care of them.
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Speaker 6: so I've been texting with Lauren because her Laura, Yeah,
Speaker 6: Laurena Elena sorry thinks and her first episode, her first dance,
Speaker 6: just came out on Dancing with Stars, So she said
Speaker 6: she can call in Easton.
Speaker 3: Is that gonna be cool? Can she?
Speaker 2: Can?
Speaker 3: She call in?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, let's get on the phone.
Speaker 3: All right, Lauren?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Hey, oh my god, girl, you killed it.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 13: I just watched it again and I was like, is
Speaker 13: that nateh? Like you even know that person? I'm like
Speaker 13: an a new person.
Speaker 6: And I feel like you kind of because you came
Speaker 6: over and you're like, I can't dance at all, and
Speaker 6: then you came out there and like Michael's like, hey,
Speaker 6: so how did Lauren do?
Speaker 3: Because he was. I think he was watching football.
Speaker 2: And I said, she freaking killed it, Like you did
Speaker 2: not miss like a step?
Speaker 13: Well you I don't know how.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing though, you like, even though even if
Speaker 2: you did, like we never know, and that's something too,
Speaker 2: Like I remember I've been like, oh my god, but
Speaker 2: I missed that and this, and it's like but we
Speaker 2: don't know, you know, like watching.
Speaker 13: Yeah, I was so proud. I thought I was going
Speaker 13: to pass out.
Speaker 2: I was so excited.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 6: Like that's gotta be like the best feeling, like knowing that,
Speaker 6: like you know, it's just like that you're like proud
Speaker 6: of yourself.
Speaker 13: I am so proud. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad
Speaker 13: that it went well and we got Sam.
Speaker 2: That is that's incredible, like literally incredible.
Speaker 13: Because everyone was like, yeah, the judges are going to
Speaker 13: be harder this year, and they worked pretty strict. I
Speaker 13: was like, crap, but Globe like to me, he said,
Speaker 13: don't even pay attention to the score, Like it's no
Speaker 13: matter what our score is, it doesn't matter. It's they're
Speaker 13: gonna be so much more strict this year. This year,
Speaker 13: and it's gonna be okay. Just don't let it get
Speaker 13: you down if we don't get a good score. And
Speaker 13: I was like, is he giving me a pep talk?
Speaker 13: Is he telling me that we're gonna get a bad school?
Speaker 13: When they were like when they said all right, let's
Speaker 13: get your scores, I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 13: pass out right now. I didn't even I was like
Speaker 13: I blacked out. I don't even know. I was so nervous.
Speaker 13: And then we got great scores, and I was like
Speaker 13: I wanted to look at glob and.
Speaker 2: Be like, uh huh, how are you preparing for next week?
Speaker 13: So we have today off? They like made everyone take
Speaker 13: today off. I think that's different. Usually I think, did
Speaker 13: you learn your new dance on Tuesdays?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: There was there was no days off.
Speaker 13: Yeah, so they like made everyone take today off. It's
Speaker 13: like a new rule, I guess. So I'm just laying
Speaker 13: around praying about it.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm in LA, So let's get together.
Speaker 5: You are uh huh, we have to.
Speaker 3: I would love that.
Speaker 6: Hey a girl, I just got to ask because it's
Speaker 6: out there. How's your heart?
Speaker 4: My heart is good.
Speaker 13: It's it's kind of like weird timing obviously, to go
Speaker 13: through a break right before you go on TV, but
Speaker 13: it's been a good distraction. And John and Friends. I mean,
Speaker 13: I love John. We were best friends before we dated.
Speaker 13: It's just like didn't work out, you know, yeah, but
Speaker 13: we're still friends. I've just talked to him and he says,
Speaker 13: you know, he's really proud of me. And it sucks.
Speaker 6: I mean it's sad, but like now's the times are
Speaker 6: just like have so much freaking fun on Dancing with
Speaker 6: the Stars and I want everyone to vote for Laura
Speaker 6: and Elena because she's incredible person and she's killing the
Speaker 6: like like that was insane. I'm so excited to watch
Speaker 6: every week now because I think I think the mirror
Speaker 6: Ball is going to stay in the Country family because
Speaker 6: that was that was so good, Like it's got to
Speaker 6: be so happy.
Speaker 13: When we get it home. But yes, I want to
Speaker 13: win so bad. After doing that dance that I wasn't
Speaker 13: sure that I was gonna be able to do, Like
Speaker 13: I didn't know how I would do in the moment,
Speaker 13: you know, I was like, please don't get out there
Speaker 13: and forget it. I just kept praying, just remember the steps,
Speaker 13: to remember the steps, because it's so different than anything
Speaker 13: I've ever done. And I was like what if I'm
Speaker 13: like nervous and forget the whole thing. That was like yeah,
Speaker 13: But now that I got that one out of the way,
Speaker 13: I think I can do it. I think I could
Speaker 13: do this.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: Just know that Gleb.
Speaker 6: You know, Gleb totally gets that because I remember the
Speaker 6: first dance, like right before the beet beep beep, I
Speaker 6: was like, Glove, I've got the entire thing. I've forgot
Speaker 6: the entire thing. He's like, no, you didn't, just dance
Speaker 6: and it was like end, You're live and I'm like, so.
Speaker 7: It's oh, it's terrible yep on the show.
Speaker 13: I mean it scared you.
Speaker 6: It's like it's like your heartbeat, like coming out of
Speaker 6: your truest.
Speaker 13: Heart. Like it's very well, I love you.
Speaker 2: You looked beautiful. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 6: And I think the biggest takeaway this is that you're
Speaker 6: proud of yourself too, which I think is huge.
Speaker 13: So I'm so proud.
Speaker 3: I love you. I'll text you later bybe okay, okay,
Speaker 3: bye bad.
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Speaker 3: Okay, I have to peek, like really bad. Actually you
Speaker 3: actually have to pee. So did Tori? Right here?
Speaker 2: Right here?
Speaker 3: What did she get? Let's see, I feel like toy
Speaker 3: needs to come in here.
Speaker 1: They're blue there.
Speaker 2: I told her not to get that kind.
Speaker 8: It's a peanut butter cups, big old for you.
Speaker 3: Thank you? Go ahead, Tori? Would you have to ask again?
Speaker 3: I had to ask again? Okay?
Speaker 11: She recommended these two and I lost you guys on
Speaker 11: the line, so I didn't hear what you said for
Speaker 11: not getting and I try to ask what Brandy, and
Speaker 11: then you guys were disconnected.
Speaker 3: Well I'm going to go.
Speaker 2: I really have to go.
Speaker 3: You guys keep talking. Thank you for your service. We'll
Speaker 3: go live here on this okay.
Speaker 12: Well, yeah, can you take a phone with you to
Speaker 12: the bathroom bring it in here?
Speaker 1: Can you resist looking at it until you get in here?
Speaker 1: Can you wrap it in paper.
Speaker 3: And then bring it in?
Speaker 12: Is Mike glad to tell us what was Jenna trying
Speaker 12: to express to you last night that you couldn't understand,
Speaker 12: because I want to see if I understand it as
Speaker 12: a woman.
Speaker 3: She was, don't worry.
Speaker 2: I got your back, Okay, Yeah, Yeah, we'll talk babies.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll talk about will grow me about how I
Speaker 5: feel about this third baby, and we'll talk about the
Speaker 5: other stuff when you get back.
Speaker 9: I think it's great.
Speaker 3: With her sp but I don't.
Speaker 9: Feel like, how do you feel.
Speaker 1: She's gone real hurry fast?
Speaker 5: I mean, yes, it would be amazing. And I was
Speaker 5: genuine when I told Jane. I was like, if we
Speaker 5: have one, great, If we don't.
Speaker 3: I believe you great truly.
Speaker 5: But right now with this up the air, now the
Speaker 5: things that the ideas of starting all over again, and
Speaker 5: you know that, other plans that we wanted to do
Speaker 5: in a few years, and it just it changes the
Speaker 5: landscape of the next few years life of life. Yeah,
Speaker 5: not even the next few years of life. So it
Speaker 5: just it changes things.
Speaker 3: Well, your house is big enough, That's what I was
Speaker 3: gonna say.
Speaker 12: But how long are you just trusting the universe? Like
Speaker 12: if it is great?
Speaker 5: And that's that's why I'm this way That's why I'm like,
Speaker 5: even though we got to protect me for a reason,
Speaker 5: I'm still just like, but.
Speaker 2: Is a part of you like because you know her,
Speaker 2: and you know if it comes back and it says no,
Speaker 2: She's going to kind of be like, I kind of
Speaker 2: want another no.
Speaker 5: Because my I mean, I'm on my foot's down.
Speaker 9: I also think it's a no. I don't think she is.
Speaker 5: I don't think yes.
Speaker 8: The universe clearly wants you to have this, which is
Speaker 8: totally fine because I love our kids more than anything,
Speaker 8: and like this whole last weekend as hot as hell
Speaker 8: in Nashville, and we were in the pool all day
Speaker 8: every day with both kids, and it was just like,
Speaker 8: this is the happiest thing in the world.
Speaker 5: And it's like the other night, Jolie woke up at
Speaker 5: like four in the morning for some reason, came into bed.
Speaker 5: I'm on I'm near the door side. She came in
Speaker 5: late in my arms for like twenty minutes. I took
Speaker 5: her upstairs to her room. She wanted me to lay
Speaker 5: with her and read her story. We fell asleep together
Speaker 5: in her bed. I'm like this right here. I was like,
Speaker 5: nothing in the world beats this. I was like, so
Speaker 5: if I have a third kid to do that again with.
Speaker 5: I was like, I wouldn't regret that. What's boy or girl,
Speaker 5: it wouldn't matter. Jana would want a boy.
Speaker 1: Down.
Speaker 5: She's like, I want five boys.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: I just feel like a part of her is gonna
Speaker 2: be a little sad if she comes in and it's
Speaker 2: a no, Like I know she's gonna that.
Speaker 5: I honestly have no empathy for because I'm like, this
Speaker 5: isn't like this.
Speaker 3: Would just be a bonus, like like, yeah, it'd be.
Speaker 2: Great, it be amazing because you were you guys did
Speaker 2: decide as as a.
Speaker 3: Unit that you were done, and you went and did
Speaker 3: your thing right.
Speaker 5: Even though the next day she's like, actually I don't.
Speaker 3: Know, dude. We were sitting here in the podcast and
Speaker 3: she was like, actually, I know, that.
Speaker 12: Was very fascinating. I mean, she's not pregnant. I'm I
Speaker 12: would be willing to be.
Speaker 5: But like Sarah's saying, she's definitely gonna probably be a
Speaker 5: little upset if she's not. But okay, Sarah, what's your gut?
Speaker 6: Rely?
Speaker 1: I mean, the sectomies are pretty good.
Speaker 9: Oh god, she's bad.
Speaker 5: Did you do you have a paper towel? It has
Speaker 5: a cap I don't know these things is clean? Cover
Speaker 5: it up?
Speaker 3: What do you cover it up?
Speaker 5: I don't know. So it's like we all unveeel it together.
Speaker 1: We gradually get no spoilers.
Speaker 3: What do you mean spoilers up?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go, say it takes.
Speaker 5: Now now you've been gone for two.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it'll show up now because it usually shows up
Speaker 6: with and like like the real Yeah, just give it
Speaker 6: a minute.
Speaker 5: Let's talk about the other stuff and then we'll come
Speaker 5: back to this.
Speaker 3: You're really gonna make us a base.
Speaker 5: That's so rude because what if it says not and
Speaker 5: then in another minute it says yes.
Speaker 3: I don't think they can change their minds.
Speaker 6: That's like almost worse than what Toy said, did you
Speaker 6: take did.
Speaker 3: You take one?
Speaker 5: Or two?
Speaker 9: I just did one before you Look, how are you feeling?
Speaker 6: Actually, as I was doing it, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 6: I'm kind of like, I'm kind of nervous right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're taking a pregnancy test.
Speaker 12: I would be nervous to do you have a feeling
Speaker 12: how you'll feel if it's a yes or a no?
Speaker 6: Like as excited as I would be, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 6: I'm good to where we're at.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're good. I think I feel that well.
Speaker 1: I think that you'll there will be tears.
Speaker 6: If it's no, a little misty, a little bit of
Speaker 6: a little bit, I think i'd be okay.
Speaker 3: I do too. Think about how drunk you're going to
Speaker 3: get right, you're.
Speaker 5: Going to get you know. I was really excited.
Speaker 9: I feel like we can look, can we look?
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm actually freaking out. Okay, look right, procedure.
Speaker 5: Somehow Okay, ready, what do you do?
Speaker 4: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: If it's two lines, we're pregnant. If it's one line, we're.
Speaker 4: Not, there's.
Speaker 3: Wait, how many lines are Jesus? Oh god?
Speaker 5: To okay, what is it? One more time?
Speaker 3: You're lying limiting? He's like, double jacket. Are you looking
Speaker 3: at the lines? I'm not pregnant?
Speaker 2: How accurate are those things though? I mean they're pretty
Speaker 2: accurate of.
Speaker 12: Him having a vasectomy, and it's saying no, I'm going
Speaker 12: pretty solid.
Speaker 3: No, I'm looking for the second one. Oh god. Because
Speaker 3: sometimes she's like the line is there?
Speaker 5: I just show up though, It's like, now what.
Speaker 2: You try?
Speaker 9: What did I tell you?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: She'll be happy? She won't.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I really think she's gonna be like just try.
Speaker 3: I kind of do, babe.
Speaker 6: Oh you know, like what a bummer?
Speaker 3: No, who knows? Maybe need some candy?
Speaker 9: Yeah, I started eating. I just literally packed up in chips.
Speaker 9: I'm like, I can't with this.
Speaker 2: I Am like, she's like, someone take a test, someone,
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm going through menopause. My mom went through menopause
Speaker 2: at thirty three.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, then maybe because she thought she was.
Speaker 2: She took me to the doctor's with her and thought
Speaker 2: that she was.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look at that later.
Speaker 6: By the way, she thought that she was pregnant, and
Speaker 6: she went through early menopause.
Speaker 3: So that's why I've always.
Speaker 12: Get a full out of whack at your age. But
Speaker 12: will you tell us what happened last night? Because I'm
Speaker 12: really curious whose side I'm on. I'm sorry to say that,
Speaker 12: but I.
Speaker 2: Really I'm most likely did you already tell your part?
Speaker 14: No, I'm most likely you wanted to wait because you
Speaker 14: wanted to Well, he seemed a little frustrated because sometimes
Speaker 14: like nighttime routine can be a little a lot.
Speaker 6: So he seemed just a little more on edge and frustrated.
Speaker 6: And so when we put the kids down, I was
Speaker 6: coming down the stairs and this is the second time
Speaker 6: he's made a comment about the gates, the baby gates
Speaker 6: not closing.
Speaker 5: When was the other time.
Speaker 2: I was saying, I was like, oh, He's like, did
Speaker 2: you close the gate when we went up to take
Speaker 2: Jason to the bath and you would just close the gate.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, no, it doesn't close very well.
Speaker 5: Yeah. All I asked was did you close the gate?
Speaker 6: I know, but and I said no, So then that
Speaker 6: was so. Then the second time was then when I
Speaker 6: came down the steps, and so he was just kind
Speaker 6: of like in a little weird of a mood. And
Speaker 6: then he said this sounds like so juvenile now, but
Speaker 6: we're walking down the I'm walking down the steps and
Speaker 6: he goes, is it so hard for you to not
Speaker 6: shut the gate?
Speaker 5: No? I didn't. I just like, too, that's not at
Speaker 5: all how I said it or what I said.
Speaker 3: You were very like dead, honey, I said.
Speaker 5: Did you What did I say? I said, did you
Speaker 5: need did you have a hard time shutting the gate?
Speaker 5: Because you had said it's hard to shut? No, but
Speaker 5: you know, we got it fixed. But because the last
Speaker 5: isn't fall completely on it. But this against context, that's
Speaker 5: that's important.
Speaker 6: But you said, do you have a hard time shutting
Speaker 6: the gate, and I'm like, oh, it just it was
Speaker 6: like very deadpanned, and he was just and I just
Speaker 6: was like okay, like sorry, and to kind of ran
Speaker 6: at the step scene how to like close up properly,
Speaker 6: and then I just again because to me, that was
Speaker 6: not like later on he said that was a joke,
Speaker 6: but I'm like, but you seemed frustrated early on, so
Speaker 6: I didn't really take it as a joke because it
Speaker 6: seemed kind of passive. So when we were in the lawndroom,
Speaker 6: I was just like, hey, I don't know what's going on,
Speaker 6: but if there's something bothering you, will you just please
Speaker 6: let me know, like invitation basically to come talk to me.
Speaker 3: He's like, nothing's wrong, and I'm just like I love how.
Speaker 5: The infliction of her voice to act.
Speaker 6: But like, yeah, I mean you still were like nothing
Speaker 6: like you wasn't like, oh no, babe, I'm totally fine.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry that you think something's wrong, like it was sorry,
Speaker 6: Oh you don't okay, you don't say you're sorry, but
Speaker 6: you can you know, you could have been like, oh no, babe,
Speaker 6: nothing's wrong at all. And so it's a different like
Speaker 6: sometimes like your tone is can you taken a little harsher?
Speaker 9: Do you guys watch the show The Affair?
Speaker 12: So here's what's super fascinating and why I think you
Speaker 12: guys should watch it the way they do well, it
Speaker 12: is about an affair.
Speaker 9: You'll be able to handle that.
Speaker 12: The clearly they shoot the same scene. Oh love that
Speaker 12: from the woman's perspective.
Speaker 9: And then the man's love.
Speaker 12: It's the same sort of scenario, and the differences are amazing,
Speaker 12: Like it's incredibly because the way it lands on one
Speaker 12: character when you're seeing it from the male perspective and
Speaker 12: then the opposite, and as the viewer, you're really like, well, wow, yeah,
Speaker 12: I don't know what.
Speaker 9: Happened now because I see both. Yeah, it's super fascinating
Speaker 9: and that's what I see.
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, for sure, And I can get like, you know,
Speaker 6: there's times when you know, he's a little bit more
Speaker 6: quieter than other times.
Speaker 3: But you know, lately he has been a little bit more.
Speaker 6: Just smoothie, I guess, and so it's just been kind
Speaker 6: of hard to decipher that and it just you know,
Speaker 6: I just think his tone sometimes is very hard to
Speaker 6: take because it's it's not cheery. It doesn't have to
Speaker 6: be You don't have to always be cheery, but you
Speaker 6: can tell when someone's tone is a little off. And
Speaker 6: so then I came then into the living room and
Speaker 6: I was like, hey, can you just understand or try
Speaker 6: to understand, like why I thought that that wasn't a
Speaker 6: joke about the thing, and how like it seems passive
Speaker 6: to me, and how I still feel like there's something
Speaker 6: wrong with you and I'm sorry that if there isn't,
Speaker 6: like that is totally annoying. And I get that too,
Speaker 6: Like that sucks because like you ask me that sometimes too,
Speaker 6: and it's not. But I'm just I just want you
Speaker 6: to understand why I didn't take that as a joy.
Speaker 12: Hey, that landed on me weird. Do you mind explaining it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2: Sometimes remember that one time there was a doctor here
Speaker 2: I don't remember her name, and she said something like
Speaker 2: if you had more like oh god, it was like
Speaker 2: something like emotional, if you had more in the bank
Speaker 2: or something more like a I feel like that's how
Speaker 2: it is sometimes like he was probably joking, but because
Speaker 2: the tone is not, you're more hyper sensitive to it.
Speaker 2: So like because like I'm the same, Like sometimes I'll
Speaker 2: just like say, like you know, dumb whatever to tie
Speaker 2: or he'll say it to me, and it kind of
Speaker 2: just like bounces. But I feel like, because you're because
Speaker 2: of what you guys have been through, you're just more
Speaker 2: hyper sensitive to what he says. And then when you say,
Speaker 2: is is something wrong? Maybe he's more hyper sensitive to
Speaker 2: you being like why is something wrong?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like I feel like that
Speaker 3: could be it for sure.
Speaker 2: That's what I feel like. I'm kind of hearing because
Speaker 2: I feel like you both are probably like, yeah, it
Speaker 2: was nothing, but it was something like he doesn't like
Speaker 2: when you say you know what's wrong or something wrong,
Speaker 2: but then you don't like when he snaps or whatever
Speaker 2: it is. Even if it was a joke, you didn't
Speaker 2: think it was a joke because you're just more.
Speaker 3: You're not you're not sensitive, but you're more.
Speaker 2: Hyper sensitive to things he and now we're making him
Speaker 2: out an skin right. It's just like his restingness though,
Speaker 2: is like because he.
Speaker 5: Thinks a while back, was like yeah, basically I remember
Speaker 5: like yeah, and all my friends think you're grumpy.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what, No, because you're you're more like you're
Speaker 2: just like thinking about it, but to you, you're more,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, So you I could see
Speaker 2: how you'd be like, are you mad?
Speaker 3: But really he's like, no, I'm not mad, but stop asking,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I do get it, but again it was
Speaker 2: the tone in which, like, I don't think you realized
Speaker 2: this is your tone sometimes with when you speak.
Speaker 9: I'm guilty of doing the you should have done this.
Speaker 3: And men do not enjoy that.
Speaker 9: No, So I really learned.
Speaker 3: And it's like, what are you my mom?
Speaker 9: It's like I'd best.
Speaker 3: Not do that.
Speaker 12: Yeah, So I really am working on that because I
Speaker 12: get it. And they don't like to be told what
Speaker 12: to do. So even if you're like, hey, you should
Speaker 12: have said this or you should feel this, it's essentially
Speaker 12: telling them what to do and they don't care for that.
Speaker 6: I just don't know why it's so hard to like,
Speaker 6: I mean, I was literally talking like a therapist, Michael.
Speaker 3: All I'm asking you to do in this moment.
Speaker 6: Is just to please try to understand where I'm coming
Speaker 6: from and then you can say your feelings after that.
Speaker 6: And he's just like he could not do it, and
Speaker 6: I was just like, I can't