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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jandon Kraner and Michael Coffin and I'm.

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Speaker 2: Her Radio podcast special guests Sarah Gretzky.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Hi honey.

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen you in forever. So excited to catch

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Speaker 2: up a lot wind down, tell me everything. It's still weird,

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Speaker 2: by the way, looking over and seeing your engagement ring.

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Speaker 3: Is it? It is?

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Speaker 2: When when we were kind of catching up in the

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Speaker 2: hallway earlier, I.

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Speaker 3: Was like, oh, this is weird. Did it catch your eye?

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Speaker 3: It did?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I tried a red color. I'm not loving it.

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Speaker 2: I feel like now when you have a ring on

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Speaker 2: your hand, you can't like do certain colors, and Red's

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Speaker 2: just not happening right now. It's okay, I love it.

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Speaker 2: It's all right, but I love you, I know. So

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Speaker 2: what's going on? Plans?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god? What's going on? A lot?

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Speaker 2: Making more traveling so much. Yeah, we've made We've made

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Speaker 2: some moves.

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Speaker 3: Dress.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dress is done. I got a wedding planner thrilled.

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Speaker 2: Couldn't be happier. She They've done a lot, like everything.

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Speaker 3: Did you pick the band?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah?

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Speaker 2: Band video photo there? Did you get my picks with

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Speaker 2: the bridesmaid's dresses? No to you to me, Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: texted you because you sent me you like, which one

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Speaker 2: do you like? And I said the top? Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: Oh Sorryry, I thought you meant you sent yeah unclear.

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Speaker 2: I cannot decide on the color wardrobe change.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah it's Sarah.

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Speaker 5: I mean I'm just making sure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just for like dancing reasons. I'm a

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Speaker 3: dancing queen.

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Speaker 2: I can't be bothered by like a train and a

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Speaker 2: so but no, I cannot decide on the color. Okay,

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Speaker 2: like in general, well, what's the color of the wedding?

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Speaker 3: Unclear? I cannot decide.

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Speaker 2: Didn't you just want like black and white?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: But then it's like is that too boring? And then

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Speaker 2: it's like classy? I know, everyone keeps saying that super

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Speaker 2: classy and then just throw in like a pop somewhere. Well,

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Speaker 2: I wanted them in white, like I wanted all the

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Speaker 2: bridesmaids and white.

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Speaker 6: I love.

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Speaker 2: They were like not happening, none of the oh I'll

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Speaker 2: shoup'm like cards.

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Speaker 3: I just thought it would be so because I wanted

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Speaker 3: to be like Heaven, like I just want.

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Speaker 2: To be so like yeah, and just the consensus was

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Speaker 2: a no, why why? I think they were just like

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Speaker 2: I know, but they're like, really, bitch, we're not trying

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Speaker 2: to stand up in white next to you while you're

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Speaker 2: in white.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's not like the most Well.

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Speaker 2: They also had dresses like tailor made to like their figures.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, doesn't everybody. You don't buy dress off the rack

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Speaker 5: and not get it tailored some correct.

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Speaker 2: No, my dresses fit a little differently, like on purpose. No,

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Speaker 2: I want And that's the thing is, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I want them to look good. It's a vibe, Like

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Speaker 2: it's a whole vibe.

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Speaker 3: They're part of it.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, I don't need them showing up looking

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Speaker 2: like Frumpleston, like I need it to. I want them

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Speaker 2: to look chic and sexy. Definitely don't do red hat.

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Speaker 2: What about black with a white embellishment? Black is like leading,

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Speaker 2: but I think a simple black would be really pretty.

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Speaker 2: White tuxes, oh tie though, No, I'm in white.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you're look contrast, right, you're in white ties and black.

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Speaker 5: Bridesmaids are in black crimsmans are in white.

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Speaker 3: Oh contrast contrast.

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Speaker 2: That's kind of cool, But I kind of thought it

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Speaker 2: would be like super sick if the guys were in

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Speaker 2: like black velvet mmmm no no, because of like where

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Speaker 2: we are and like the time, I don't know I

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Speaker 2: saw you in London.

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Speaker 3: I mean, oh my god, I would.

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Speaker 2: I just saw the Ralph Lauren fashion show during Passion

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Speaker 2: Week and it was just like, oh, it was like

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Speaker 2: goatspy vibes.

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Speaker 3: I was just like feeling it. I just like loved it.

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Speaker 5: Belack tie, Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, you're like the first person to be

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Speaker 3: like ye a guy.

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Speaker 2: Because if I still have your tax yeah, I thought

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Speaker 2: I wrote all over it.

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Speaker 5: That's my wedding. Teh.

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Speaker 3: You wrote all over his wedding. Ts I did it

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Speaker 3: with the black sharpie. But how did you see it?

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Speaker 2: Because he's it was a great Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, sorry,

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Speaker 2: but no I have a black I was.

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Speaker 3: Angry and I got angry with the black charp. I'm shocked,

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Speaker 3: you know, I'm shocked. That's all you did. So it wasn't.

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Speaker 5: That's somehow everything all stems back to all this stuff.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, I know it'll be fun.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be a time. What is it, six six months?

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Speaker 6: Okay, because we already said the month. It's gonna be

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Speaker 6: so fun, so fun? Can I wear black, yes, or

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Speaker 6: maybe I'll wear a.

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Speaker 2: Deep green okay, love love deep emerald green.

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Speaker 4: Love.

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Speaker 5: Finally your embracing color.

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Speaker 3: I love that. Yeah, I love that too. See.

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Speaker 2: I wish I could tell everyone to wear black, because

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Speaker 2: I just think that would look so cool. But I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to be that bright. And everyone loves black,

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Speaker 2: I know, So that's why I'm I'm like, yeah, wear it,

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Speaker 2: wear it, love it.

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Speaker 5: What do women when it's a black tie event? Do

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Speaker 5: women usually have to stick to black?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 3: I just feel like it means more of like a gown.

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Speaker 3: It's black tie, I think means long and it just

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Speaker 3: means for a guy. Yeah, because what's black tie optional

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Speaker 3: that a guy just doesn't have to wear a tie?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I have no idea mark, and then you're asking.

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Speaker 1: The wrong guy.

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Speaker 8: In fact, we've been invited some charity gala next month

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Speaker 8: in Beverly Hills, and my wife's kind of freaking out

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Speaker 8: because she has sun dresses. She doesn't have gas. Wear

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Speaker 8: your nicest suit, that's what I was. Not a talx,

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Speaker 8: but wear your nicest suit. So what does she she

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Speaker 8: have to wear?

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Speaker 1: A long?

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Speaker 2: So confusing for a woman, Like if a man shows

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Speaker 2: up in a talx, like I mean a suit.

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Speaker 3: It's like, okay, where can I go?

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Speaker 2: I can go pantsuit, I can go skirt, I can

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Speaker 2: go dress, I can go gown.

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Speaker 6: I think she'd be fine. I wouldn't say a sun dress,

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Speaker 6: but like an evening dress. Would like it could be

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Speaker 6: short at a MIDDI, amitty is good, she can she

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Speaker 6: can wear a MIDI. I wouldn't wear along for that,

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Speaker 6: but for a wedding ed wear long.

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Speaker 1: Yeah MIDI. We write that down mid calf.

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Speaker 2: But then again, I think a lot of people get

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Speaker 2: that confused, and I think they'll still wear the very

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Speaker 2: fancy MIDI.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I know.

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Speaker 2: I kept finding dresses that I liked for bridesmaids, but

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Speaker 2: they weren't quite to the ground, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: I can't do that.

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Speaker 3: I can't have them showing up like half assed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I feel like people like, you know, Mike's

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Speaker 2: going to show up and show out, you know, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Buddy, you're so excited to wear your talk.

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Speaker 5: I love where is even though it's in the closet.

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Speaker 5: Even though I don't have a lot of opportunities to

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Speaker 5: dress up right, I'm not I don't wear a suit

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Speaker 5: every day to work. And stuff.

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Speaker 3: I love.

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Speaker 5: There's nothing more I love than buying, like a suit,

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Speaker 5: like going and getting custom made suit. It's like my

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Speaker 5: favorite thing to do, sitting down looking at the little

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Speaker 5: fabrics and the button details and the threat details. I

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Speaker 5: love it, the lapel everything, I love it.

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Speaker 3: That is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, he's like obsessed. You guys

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Speaker 3: can go get like matching.

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Speaker 5: Last year for my birthday and I'm doing it. But

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Speaker 5: it's like two years ago, Mike. But I was like,

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Speaker 5: Jane's like, what do you want for your birthday? I

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Speaker 5: was like, I just want to go get a new

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Speaker 5: suit made. And she's like that's great, but why.

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Speaker 2: What are you going to do with it hanging in

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Speaker 2: your closet?

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Speaker 5: Like we have enough carpet stuff and you know events

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Speaker 5: carpet do.

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Speaker 3: You wear a suit? Do you could just totally change

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Speaker 3: your Oh.

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Speaker 2: Yes, twenty five today. Yeah, don't forget, don't forget to

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Speaker 2: get out there and vote. I feel like you got

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Speaker 2: a lot of people behind you on this one.

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Speaker 6: I mean Tanya and Becca have like they're like doing

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Speaker 6: sweeps on Kiss FM.

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Speaker 1: Tony is obsessed. Also, Tanya.

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Speaker 8: Any downtime she has, she's voting with other people's email addresses.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, I say, I don't have that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I bet you doing it right now.

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Speaker 8: I bet she's actually you can see from the studio

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Speaker 8: we can see her staring at her phone.

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Speaker 1: I bet she's voting.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna start doing that.

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Speaker 2: I'll be your like Tanya like things I know. I like.

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Speaker 3: Tina's like how to be a week? And I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I forgot to vote this week? Have you voted for

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Speaker 3: I did, like twice.

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Speaker 5: I haven't.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I can't. But it's fine.

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Speaker 6: We don't have We don't have seacrests behind us, and

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Speaker 6: that's okay, it's okay. You know we have Winem we

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Speaker 6: do that market Easton behind us. Well, they also do

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Speaker 6: scrubbing into so we're screwed.

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Speaker 3: But it's fine.

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Speaker 2: It's all good. On the other news, I might pregnant.

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Speaker 3: What the fuck?

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Speaker 2: Wait, Tory screaming I called it.

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Speaker 3: She did, which is so weird if I didn't mention it.

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Speaker 3: And now Tanya's.

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Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait, wait, Tori, if you're pregnant in my wedding, like,

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Speaker 2: what am I gonna do?

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Speaker 3: That doesn't matter?

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Speaker 4: No, but.

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Speaker 3: My gosh, I called it. You did call it, but

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just I'm lazy. But you have

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Speaker 3: fish like a week ago. I'm so stressed. I know,

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Speaker 3: so I don't. But here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: What bothers me is that Michael, Michael never got.

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Speaker 5: You should.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, yes, And I've.

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Speaker 6: Literally said to him, Michael, make sure you get checked, Michael,

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Speaker 6: make sure you get checked. And He's like, yeah, I'll

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Speaker 6: do it, I'll do it, I'll do it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And now I'm late late, I have a pit.

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Speaker 3: I have a literal pit in my stomach.

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Speaker 6: I don't know, doesn't matter a couple I'm always on time.

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Speaker 3: I don't miss.

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Speaker 5: I think I lost track of how many times since

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Speaker 5: I've gotten Aviseectony that Jane said, you know what, I

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Speaker 5: really want another kid. I really want another kids. Like

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Speaker 5: this is all your.

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Speaker 3: Fault, I know, I is giving me I needed to

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Speaker 3: have another baby.

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Speaker 9: Jesus getting too old.

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Speaker 3: Oh Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing though, so Tanya still has her mouth.

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Speaker 1: From there.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just saying usually I'm very so,

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Speaker 3: so why don't we know, like, why don't we figure

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Speaker 3: it out?

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Speaker 2: Well? Well, so the other day we're eating casually having dinner,

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Speaker 2: and I go, so I might be pregnant. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I want to slushy slurpy.

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Speaker 6: And he's like okay, And I said, would you be

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Speaker 6: upset about that?

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Speaker 3: Oh, she's playing games.

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Speaker 2: Not games and I and he's like, well, I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: necessarily want another one.

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Speaker 3: I was like, so you'd be upset.

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Speaker 5: I said, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be upset either way.

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Speaker 5: I would be upset if we had one. I wouldn't

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Speaker 5: be upset if we didn't.

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Speaker 3: Well, what a blessing to have another child?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? We make I mean we make good looking babies.

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Speaker 2: I would love to I would love But I'm just

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Speaker 2: saying it's worried. So he's like, when should we take

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Speaker 2: a test? And so probably in the next tonight.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was thinking on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like, can now just go run and get it

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Speaker 3: one now?

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Speaker 5: Next week?

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Speaker 3: Sure? Yeah, we just postmates one up. You can posts

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Speaker 3: of pregnant.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure you can post he can post me anything.

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Speaker 5: Okay, hold on wait wait, did to show up now

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Speaker 5: a few days late?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Because usually it shows you like every time I took

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Speaker 6: the first one, like it was like six days before

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Speaker 6: I'm a miss period is when it would always show up.

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Speaker 6: So like it would show up now because I'm late.

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Speaker 6: Hold on, because he's getting like this reaction makes me

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Speaker 6: think that like you wouldn't be happy.

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Speaker 2: All he wants to do is party at my wedding. Okay,

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Speaker 2: that's all he's worried about. He just just concerned. It's

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Speaker 2: all about the wedding.

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Speaker 5: It is all about the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So like let's see, you're gonna be like September

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Speaker 3: you guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Torri just asked if she needs an I D

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Speaker 2: to get a pregnancy.

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Speaker 1: Today. I can't.

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Speaker 3: Wait.

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Speaker 2: That is, she's literally running right now to like the nearest,

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Speaker 2: like can you get eleven eleven?

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Speaker 3: Because can you get one of the whole foods? I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I don't think you can.

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Speaker 6: I think you can only get public CBS Walgreens' I

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Speaker 6: think you need an ID for like planning pan B

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Speaker 6: but I think also now you can.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. That's that's so funny. Okay, hold on.

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Speaker 2: Here, I thought we were going to come in here

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Speaker 2: talk about like just not this.

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Speaker 8: So I mean Mark, doctor Romani's gonna be on in

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Speaker 8: a few minutes, and then after that, I'm thinking we

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Speaker 8: send Janet to.

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Speaker 2: The bathroom one hundred and fifty percent.

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Speaker 1: I think, wep, and do.

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Speaker 3: It in here? Can we just do it?

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Speaker 5: Pour the cup over, bring the microphone.

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Speaker 2: No, go pee in a cup, bring it in here,

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Speaker 2: and then put the thing so we can all just

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Speaker 2: be in this together.

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Speaker 1: We need some sort of a big bowl.

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Speaker 3: Wait, but is it going to show up? I feel

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Speaker 3: like you need more time. No, it would show promise

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Speaker 3: because mine what.

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Speaker 6: Are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Michael?

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Speaker 5: Whoa, I'm listening.

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Speaker 3: He's picking his tooth.

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Speaker 4: Oh I thought you were.

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Speaker 6: You grabbed your bag to like throw up, and I

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Speaker 6: was like, are you okay?

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Speaker 3: Are you getting naus? Yes? So, oh my god, I know.

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Speaker 3: So that's the thing.

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Speaker 6: Are you going to get tested after this though, even

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Speaker 6: if it's it, because I think it's still something you

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Speaker 6: should see if because we're there's no lack of sex

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Speaker 6: in our marriage right now.

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Speaker 2: And that's the tea. Wait, hold on, I might be confused.

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Speaker 2: Why is what's the problem that he needed to get

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Speaker 2: tested again?

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Speaker 3: He needed to test to see if.

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Speaker 5: You're make sure your tubes are clear?

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Speaker 8: Yeah, I got I got tested. I was supposed to

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Speaker 8: get tested twice and only got tested once. I was satisfied

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Speaker 8: with the results of the first one, they still wanted

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Speaker 8: me to come back again.

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Speaker 1: But it's fine.

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Speaker 8: They said there were found one dead one and the

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Speaker 8: one with no motility, right, so like that's good enough

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Speaker 8: for me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's.

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Speaker 1: Been ten years.

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Speaker 5: This is Jane and I and we were even talking

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Speaker 5: about this when it came up. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 5: we've talked about on here how we go in phases

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Speaker 5: with intimacy and sex and sometimes there's some some issues

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Speaker 5: around it, but we have not had an issue for

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Speaker 5: a while.

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Speaker 9: Oh my god, these horny.

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Speaker 5: That's definitely been like the one area that's remained the

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Speaker 5: most consistent and strongest over the last That's.

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Speaker 1: Impressive, you know what.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty amazing, and like, let's say it happens. It's

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Speaker 3: like this baby was made out of love.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you know sure. I mean not that they all.

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Speaker 2: Weren't, but if you're as like connected right now, like

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Speaker 2: it's kind of like I almost don't want to know though,

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Speaker 2: because if it's not, then I I'm kind of excited.

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Speaker 3: I know, I kind of would love enough.

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Speaker 2: You're getting back in that chair and getting reversal, so

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Speaker 2: they're getting tested.

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Speaker 1: Is the worst because you've got to bring it in.

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Speaker 5: We didn't.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to do it there, didn't know.

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Speaker 5: I actually I think I threw away the cup to

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Speaker 5: bring it in. The cup made it with me from

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Speaker 5: l A to the in the move to Nashville. But

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Speaker 5: it's got to be warm. But I haven't used the cup.

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Speaker 8: It's got to be within thirty minutes. Yeah, I know, yes,

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Speaker 8: I know. It's the worst. And then when you hand

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Speaker 8: it to them, the woman gave me a look like, seriously,

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Speaker 8: you're handing me this.

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Speaker 5: Like you work here at a job.

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Speaker 1: I felt like a real schmuck.

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Speaker 3: Schmuck.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm pitting out so hard, like in

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Speaker 2: a good way, in an interesting way.

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Speaker 3: If it's not, would you be upset?

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Speaker 5: Did I not remember what I said? I said, if

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Speaker 5: we do, I won't be upset. If it's not, I

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Speaker 5: won't be upset.

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Speaker 8: So the only really upset this is going to be

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Speaker 8: if it's not. If you're not pregnant, Jen.

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Speaker 1: Is going to be really disappointed.

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Speaker 5: I will say this part of me, just with the

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Speaker 5: excitement that we're making us into now, is going to

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Speaker 5: cause me to be a lit upset if we're not,

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Speaker 5: only because like Jace, he's it's such a perfect gauge

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Speaker 5: right now, nine months.

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Speaker 3: It's exhausted with two. I love you.

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Speaker 5: You find a way. No, no, I'm so tired. But

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Speaker 5: it's just me, know it is Mark. You just just

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Speaker 5: do it, man.

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Speaker 1: But I don't want a third.

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Speaker 5: Yeah no I don't either.

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Speaker 2: I do and so that you know what a third means,

385
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,239
Speaker 2: like new plane seats. You know, you're your seating arrangements.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 1: I five is not a practical amount of people for

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Speaker 1: a theme park, the.

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Speaker 3: Parks, that's good. Yeah, you have to think.

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Speaker 5: Part of the world. Jana is never going to go

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Speaker 5: on a roller coaster. So if it's me and the

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Speaker 5: three kids, it's two in the front, in the back,

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Speaker 5: we're good. Mom's the fifth wheel.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, see that works out great for you guys.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: So we'll see Sarah. When are you baby making soon?

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Speaker 2: I mean, like, yeah, why don't you just like hold

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Speaker 2: off until next year?

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Speaker 3: I think we could do it?

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00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 5: No, no, no.

401
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,560
Speaker 3: What's the difference between now and then?

402
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,120
Speaker 5: A lot? A lot that's a long time.

403
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Speaker 3: Okay, I don't mean.

404
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,240
Speaker 2: Baby, Sorry, sorry, I mean like maybe like, but Mike

405
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,840
Speaker 2: again has like a very warped sense of time because

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Speaker 2: when we talked about the whole like police thing the

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Speaker 2: other day and I made a poll like, hey, should

408
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,200
Speaker 2: Mike do police stuff? And there were so many people

409
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 2: like he's thirty two, Like you're not, You're so young,

410
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,000
Speaker 2: You're so young, it's just crazy, Like he's just like

411
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 2: it's for you would want him to believe to be

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Speaker 2: a police officer.

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00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,120
Speaker 6: But no, I just was saying, whatever he wants to do.

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00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,120
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah, no, of course not but no, no, no,

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Speaker 6: I'm like, whatever he wants to do, I would like

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00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 6: because he was saying like that's something he'd always wanted

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Speaker 6: to do, so I'm like, go do it.

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Speaker 3: He's like, I'm so old, and I'm like, oh no.

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00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 5: But that's not what's stopping me. It's again anything else

420
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,200
Speaker 5: that we have going on right now.

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00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 8: But you would be the oldest do you think amongst

422
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 8: your like group of cadets in the.

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Speaker 6: Well?

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00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,120
Speaker 5: I will say there's a guy, a childhood buddy and

425
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 5: my dad's that served in the fire department with my

426
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,640
Speaker 5: dad for decades and when he retired from the fire department,

427
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 5: he went over and became a police officer.

428
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Speaker 1: Just started from at the beginning to wow.

429
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 5: Just to kind of kind of double dip on his.

430
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, what a nice man is He's a.

431
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,560
Speaker 5: Great and he's hilarious and a great man too.

432
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 6: Side note, Easton, when we talked about the stuff going

433
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Speaker 6: on with your lady, yes, your wife, our girlfriend, Leslie

434
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 6: texted us and said, that sounds like he's a fair

435
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 6: what's that called again, he's trying a fair dating, like

436
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 6: trying to find like someone to She had a word

437
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:39,520
Speaker 6: for it.

438
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 3: I can't remember what it.

439
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 6: Was, but yeah, so that's something where it's like it's

440
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 6: totally not inappropriate at all.

441
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 3: So she stopped a quick update.

442
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,199
Speaker 10: She's like, I'm just gonna just stop responding to this

443
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 10: dude because they don't like directly work together. It's not

444
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,320
Speaker 10: like it's gonna be an awkward thing at work, right, And.

445
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 3: He's a fair hunting. That's a fair hunting.

446
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,160
Speaker 6: Listening to the podcast till east and the dude contacting

447
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 6: his wife is crossing a major line. Not okay, the

448
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 6: guy is married and is telling her how unhappy he's

449
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 6: with his wife. That's called a fair hunting.

450
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, she had.

451
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 10: She cut him off and he sent like a couple

452
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 10: like weird messages like the next day. It was like

453
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,840
Speaker 10: because he saw her work and was like, oh wait

454
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 10: up to this weekend, She's like, oh, nothing, just I'm

455
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,159
Speaker 10: feeling kind of sick. I'm just gonna stay home. And

456
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 10: then like I think, she posts on Instagram that she

457
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,720
Speaker 10: and I went to Disneyland.

458
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,880
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, feeling really sick.

459
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:25,880
Speaker 5: Huh like that kind of thing.

460
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 10: Oh my god, you I know, like that was like

461
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 10: upsetting and so us like Alison said, like I don't

462
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 10: know this guy anything, Like we're not friends.

463
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 3: I don't know.

464
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,120
Speaker 10: He's trying to make me feel like I am something

465
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,720
Speaker 10: that I don't. So just like stopped and uh. He

466
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,960
Speaker 10: kept messaging, but that was like a couple of days

467
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 10: ago and has hasn't been lost two days.

468
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 2: She hit him with the block Sam delete as I say,

469
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 2: like just blocked this time time to block hit him

470
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 2: with the three I know.

471
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 3: Well, thanks for the update.

472
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 1: Toy is on the phone from the pharmacy.

473
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 2: Tory, Oh, Tory, I'm here.

474
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,200
Speaker 3: Did you did you have to use your ID?

475
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 2: No?

476
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 11: So I listen you guys. I don't know how this

477
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 11: whole thing works. Do you need to show your ID?

478
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:13,520
Speaker 11: I'm currently walking tours of Halloween candy.

479
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 3: Let me tell you what to do?

480
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 9: You Tori twenty one.

481
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,680
Speaker 2: Okay, toy, just walk in, grab a pregnancy test and

482
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 2: a bottle of water and some candy, and just leap.

483
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 3: I think you should.

484
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,919
Speaker 2: Do you have wait, do you have a Do you

485
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 2: have a ring? Put it on your left finger and make.

486
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 6: You feel so much better the amount of times I've

487
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,679
Speaker 6: walked in not married.

488
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 11: You want to know that I literally pointed with my

489
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 11: left hand so that they could see I had some

490
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 11: kind of gold band on my finger. Oh my god,

491
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 11: twenty one over there, That twenty one that went over there.

492
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,879
Speaker 6: The ring idea, Yeah, get to get the first response

493
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 6: with the lines, not the ones that say yes or no.

494
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,919
Speaker 3: Get the first response. Six days before.

495
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 11: I'm a period, I feel like I'm close.

496
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 3: My god, toys like, here's the loop.

497
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 4: There's a lot of loop there.

498
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 3: Next they're by the tampon.

499
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 11: No, I'm literally gonna have to ask her againtory.

500
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 2: You're a college educated woman. You can find them. Don't ask.

501
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 12: I love that Sarah said, get some candy words.

502
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 3: Well, no, you don't want it. Not then you want

503
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,120
Speaker 3: to let You don't want to roll up with one test.

504
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 2: You gotta act like you just like are stalking up,

505
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 2: so you grab like some water because I.

506
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 11: Can't believe it again, and there's like fifteen people in

507
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 11: line at the partment.

508
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 3: Not her.

509
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 11: We don't have all day toy there by the I'm trying,

510
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,639
Speaker 11: I'm you guys, I'm not kidding, I am looking.

511
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 3: Okay, they're by their tampons.

512
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 6: That's all first response. They're usually they actually, which.

513
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 3: Store are you at?

514
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 11: I'm a CBS.

515
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 3: Okay, so CBS.

516
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 2: They might be locked up here in LA because they're expensive.

517
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 11: Yeah, I'm actually thinking that because they're definitely nice.

518
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: They're like twenty five bars respect. Oh my god, you're

519
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 2: gonna have to ask someone to unlock the thing for you.

520
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 11: Ask her again.

521
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 12: I love that the tequila and the pregnancy text and

522
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 12: the razors are behind.

523
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 3: It's so annoying that.

524
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 11: The one three, it's like.

525
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 4: We got to help her.

526
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 11: All right, Okay, we're in action.

527
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 3: Good luck.

528
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 5: All right.

529
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 6: So you saying I'm gonna drink some water, but can

530
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 6: you grab me in their smart water?

531
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 3: Thanks? All right?

532
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 6: Well to be continued finished listening to the show to

533
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 6: see uh the real real live peing on a stick?

534
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 2: Are you what if we like what if you mean

535
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 2: like in like some of so random friend, like you're

536
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,360
Speaker 2: not but like like Danielle's like, oh, I'll take one

537
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 2: for fun and likes pregnant or like Torri or Tania.

538
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:02,120
Speaker 6: The job is god, oh that would be well. So

539
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 6: stay tuned. We're having a guest coming up before I

540
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 6: do that.

541
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: So act Ramani is talking narcissism next.

542
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Speaker 3: Super excited.

543
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544
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545
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546
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Speaker 3: So true story.

547
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Speaker 6: Michael and I obviously moved to Nashville, and every single

548
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549
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550
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551
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552
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599
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Speaker 4: Hi, it's doctor Rominey.

600
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,119
Speaker 3: How are you hey? I'm good?

601
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 4: Thank you. So.

602
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 2: You have a book coming out It's called Don't You

603
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 2: Know Who I Am?

604
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 6: How to Stay Sane in an era of narcissism.

605
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 3: Why did you write this book?

606
00:24:59,560 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 13: Where was?

607
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 3: Where's your connection to narcissism?

608
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 7: So I've been working in narcissism as an area for

609
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 7: over ten years and it was sort of one of

610
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 7: those things I was working on quietly, and then there

611
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 7: was an election and everybody started talking about it. But

612
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 7: in having those conversations, yeah, there's a bigger cultural issue

613
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 7: around narcissism, and whether it's how the president behaves or

614
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 7: other famous people behave, or social media, it's really bled

615
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 7: into regular people's lives. You can't go into a parking

616
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,360
Speaker 7: lot nowadays without people screaming at each other or someone

617
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 7: screaming don't you know who I am?

618
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 4: On an airplane or at a hotel clerk.

619
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 7: So it seems to be something that's bubbled up into

620
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 7: American actually global culture I'm seeing now, and it's really

621
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 7: taking a toll on people and all of that cumulatively.

622
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 7: I've written another book called Should I Stay or Should

623
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 7: I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist that was

624
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 7: about narcissism and the intimate space boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,

625
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 7: because a lot of relationships were sort of crumbling under that.

626
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 7: But after that book, I got a lot more questions.

627
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 7: People said, you know what, my husband's fine, but it's.

628
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 4: My mom who's narcissist. Or it's my boss who's the narcissist.

629
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 7: This book takes on all of the different kinds of

630
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 7: narcissistic relationships, but also makes us to take a really

631
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 7: hard look at our culture and say, how are we

632
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 7: all contributing to this?

633
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 4: And how are we all suffering?

634
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 5: Buck Ramani? At what age does it kind of transition

635
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 5: from maybe someone just having some character defects or being

636
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 5: just an a hole or whatever into actual full blown narcissism.

637
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 7: You know, I actually tell people, especially parents, I'm like,

638
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 7: put the brakes, I calling this the.

639
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 4: Name until actually a person's probably.

640
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 7: Into the early mid twenties, until that age of personality.

641
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 7: It's almost like a sweater that's too big for someone

642
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 7: still kind of growing into it. By twenty three, twenty

643
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,719
Speaker 7: four to twenty five, you can look at someone how

644
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 7: someone's acting and saying, yeah, this is probably going to

645
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 7: be a pattern. I wouldn't use this word with a

646
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 7: seventeen year old because I'm as a mother of teenagers.

647
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 4: I could say most teenagers are awful.

648
00:26:55,359 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 6: So yeah, so that's something where you eat it like okay.

649
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 6: After that time when yeah, it's a wait and see.

650
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you do you find that are women?

651
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 6: Is it like more men are narcissist or is it

652
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 6: more women or do you find that to be different.

653
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 7: Way more men are narcissistic. I'm guessing it's probably eighty

654
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 7: twenty to be honest with you, and I for sure

655
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 7: the big spread is how the difference between how men

656
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 7: and women are socialized. Women are taught to talk about

657
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 7: their emotions, they're taught to make stronger relational ties from

658
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 7: an early age. They're not taught to be as competitive,

659
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 7: they're not as authoritarian. They have very different kinds of

660
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 7: relationships with their parents. And boys are really taught to

661
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 7: be competitive. Little boys are told don't cry, you're you know,

662
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 7: boys don't cry.

663
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 4: Girls are like cool, you can cry, like cry this

664
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 4: one out.

665
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 7: So we do teach them differently, we socialize them differently.

666
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 4: There's been a lot of talk in the media about

667
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 4: toxic masculinity.

668
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 7: Toxic masculinity is sort of a you know, I don't know,

669
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 7: sort of a pithy way to say narcissism.

670
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 4: To be honest with you, but is it to catch up?

671
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 7: Yes, I would say, I run into narcissistic women all

672
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 7: the time. I have a lot of men who come

673
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 7: into my practice and say, what have I done?

674
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 4: Who have I married? And these women are very narcissistic.

675
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 4: Lots of people out there had narcissistic mothers.

676
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 7: So I mean, I honestly think that in the next

677
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,919
Speaker 7: ten to twenty years, we're going to see those scales

678
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 7: starting reading out quite a bit.

679
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 2: I guess, like, what really truly makes a narcissist? Though,

680
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 2: that's what I was going to ask, Like, I might

681
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 2: be a dumb question, but what is a narcissist?

682
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 7: It's a great question because I think a lot of

683
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 7: people think narcissist is someone who's really stuck up and

684
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 7: loves themselves. It's not, in fact, it's in fact, it's

685
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 7: the opposite of that.

686
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 4: They're actually really quite self loathing.

687
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 7: So at the core of it, these are people who

688
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 7: lack empathy, who are really entitled. They're really arrogant. They're

689
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 7: constantly seeking admiration or validation. Look at me, tell me

690
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 7: I'm great. They're really superficial. They're vain, they are very

691
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 7: prone to rage, they're very controlling. They're also very charming,

692
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 7: very charismatic. They're very confident, but ultimately, at the core

693
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 7: of it, believe it or not, they're deeply, deeply insecure,

694
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 7: and that's why they're always trying to overcompensate. I said, listen,

695
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 7: if somebody's really good at something, they're.

696
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 4: Not going to brag about it. They're going to be

697
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 4: confident like I know, I know this, I got this.

698
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 7: I don't need to behave like a fool and suck

699
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 7: all the oxygen out of the room. However, if I'm insecure,

700
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 7: I'm going to come out punching, I'm going to come

701
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 7: out bragging, and I'm going to get really irritable if

702
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 7: things don't go my way.

703
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 12: It's the no empathy that is sort of the shocking

704
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 12: part of it, because they truly it's not that they

705
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 12: are selfish.

706
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 9: And have no empathy.

707
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 12: They don't really even understand what it would be to

708
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 12: have empathy.

709
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 9: Is that right?

710
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 2: Uhh?

711
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 4: No, absolutely, And you nail that. That's actually really well put.

712
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 7: I think where a lot of people will sit in

713
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 7: my office and say, I don't get it. Are you

714
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 7: telling me they just don't care? And I look at them,

715
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 7: I'm like, yeah, I'm telling you, they just don't care.

716
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 7: Then people say, what's wrong with me? I said, nothing's

717
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 7: wrong with you. They don't care about anybody. Again, it's

718
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 7: the insecurity. Really don't care. They don't have empathy. And

719
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 7: I got to be honest with you. Every week I

720
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 7: get emails and calls from people who say I'm narcissistic.

721
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 7: The word is getting out that we kind of suck

722
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 7: and I actually want a relationship, and they want a relationship,

723
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 7: they said, But you know, I'm gonna be honest with you.

724
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 7: I really don't care about feelings and emotions and stuff.

725
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 4: Can you teach me how?

726
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 7: I gotta tell you it's hard to do as an

727
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 7: aftermarket add on at thirty five, to be teaching people.

728
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 4: Stuff they should have learned when they were six.

729
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 7: And so, a self aware narcissist is a horrible thing

730
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 7: to witness because they kind of realize they.

731
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 4: Don't really care.

732
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 7: That lack of empathy is what makes it so invalidating

733
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 7: to have any kind of relationship with them.

734
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 9: Is it on a spectrum?

735
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, absolutely on a spectrum. Not only is it on

736
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 7: a spectrum, there's different kinds. Like listen, everybody, all of

737
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 7: us have a few of those benign and narcissistic friends,

738
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 7: like they're a little bit too instagrammy and they were

739
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 7: a little bit too edit my pictory and a little

740
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 7: bit too selfie. You know, there's always that person, but

741
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 7: you know at the core of it, and they're not

742
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,239
Speaker 7: really good at empathy, but they're not bad people, and

743
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 7: like there's always good to have a few of them

744
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 7: on ice for a dinner party because they sort of

745
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 7: jazz things up.

746
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 4: Definitely not someone you take your problems too.

747
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 7: But at the most severe end, we have malignant narcissists

748
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 7: that almost feel like psychopaths, like they manipulate, they exploit,

749
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 7: they coerce, they bully, they oppress, like they're really.

750
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 4: Really dreadful, if not dangerous people.

751
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 7: And then there's all other sort of your classical narcissists

752
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 7: who's sort of like the showy, braggy, you know, charming, charismatic,

753
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 7: kind of is the center of tension person but gets

754
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 7: grumpy when things don't go that where people aren't noticing them.

755
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 7: And then you have sort of that stealth narcissist, which

756
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 7: is the covert narcissist. And these are the people who

757
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 7: are always victims. They're like, how come nothing ever goes

758
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 7: my way? You know, I would have been one of

759
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 7: the great ones if I had been born ten years later.

760
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 7: You know, things don't go my way because people are

761
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 7: threatened by me. Those are narcissists, and people think they're pathetic,

762
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 7: but actually that constantly being a victim. They're very entitled.

763
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 7: They're like, you know what, I'm too good for a

764
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 7: nine to five, so I'm going to stay home. So

765
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 7: the other person who kind of lives in mom's basement

766
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 7: and somehow is waiting for someone to show up with

767
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 7: a check, I guess, but they really.

768
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 4: Do believe that they shouldn't have to work.

769
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 5: Now, I'm a question. And you know, it's interesting. Jane

770
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 5: and I talk a lot about the current events and

771
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 5: also what's current in our relationship, and so you know,

772
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 5: I hear a lot of talk about narcissism nowadays, obviously,

773
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 5: and a lot of the traits that you're talking about

774
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 5: right now, you know, And I feel these little flags

775
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 5: coming up in my brain and I'm like, oh, I

776
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 5: do some of that or I've done that. I'm this

777
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 5: way sometimes and like last night, for example, Jane and

778
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 5: I were kind of having an argument and you know,

779
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 5: discussing something and I and maybe this is just my

780
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 5: upbringing as a male. But I find it physically impossible

781
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 5: or very very difficult at times to actually comprehend maybe

782
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 5: where Janna is coming from in a situation like to me,

783
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 5: it doesn't make rational sense, and I'm like, I literally,

784
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 5: like last night, I had a hard time finding the

785
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 5: empathy for Jana's point of view because it just did

786
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 5: not make sense to me. And so so here's.

787
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 6: Why I was trying to tell him that it doesn't

788
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 6: need to make sense to you. But that's still I'm

789
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 6: still allowed to have those feelings.

790
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 4: So my big question would be did you try? Did

791
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 4: you try to understand her feelings?

792
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 7: Because empathy has got two pieces of Empathy is not

793
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 7: a one way street. Okay, it's not just I get

794
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 7: your feelings, but it's also you taking a minute and

795
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 7: reflecting on yourself and saying, is how I'm acting now

796
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 7: uncomfortable for her?

797
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 4: And because even if you were to say something.

798
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 7: Like you know, I'm going to be honest with you,

799
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 7: I'm struggling with this, like with understanding this. But I

800
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 7: can look at your face and see that you're hurt,

801
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 7: and so I love you or care about you, whatever

802
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 7: your feeling is for this person, I don't want you

803
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 7: to be hurt, so how can you help me?

804
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 4: Help you? At this point? So it's not you may listen.

805
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 7: We don't always get someone else's feelings, right, I don't understand.

806
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 4: Sometimes when somebody.

807
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 7: Is I don't understand, and my clients and I they

808
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 7: scratch on my head thinking they are what are they thinking?

809
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 7: But I can read their faith and they're in pain.

810
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 7: So this is real. And one of the worst things

811
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 7: we can ever do to someone is judge their emotions

812
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 7: because we don't.

813
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 4: Get to it.

814
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 7: It's almost like telling someone else you must be hungry.

815
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 7: How the hell are you supposed to know that they're hungry.

816
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 7: They're the ones it's their stomach. Let them figure it out,

817
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 7: so you can't anticipate that. But making a good faith

818
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 7: attempt at saying I actually don't intellectually get.

819
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 4: It, but I see it, so please help me because

820
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 4: I love you.

821
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 7: I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want

822
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 7: you to be hurting. I don't want you to be

823
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 7: in pain. I want you to feel understood. We're not

824
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 7: always going to be understood. Someone may not understand. For example,

825
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 7: let's say somebody I don't goes through a breakup, and

826
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 7: six months later they're still obsessing about the breakup and

827
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 7: the relationship only lasted three months.

828
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 4: Everyone around them might say I don't get it.

829
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 7: I'd say to them, you may not get it, but

830
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 7: this is real for them, and the best thing we

831
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 7: can do is just be there attempt to get it.

832
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 7: But more than anything, see that our friend is hurting,

833
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 7: and that sometimes is all the antidote you need, and

834
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 7: that's what can keep a relationship going. I know with

835
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 7: my partner, he'll say, you know, honey, I don't get it,

836
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 7: and he'll just put his arms around me and that's

837
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 7: it and I'm good.

838
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 2: And why is it so hard, though, for him to like.

839
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 7: Do that, because I think he's trying to intellectualize it.

840
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 7: You know, never make a feeling intellectual, because it's not

841
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 7: it's not a thought, it's a feeling.

842
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 4: It's like being hungry.

843
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 7: Like I said, you don't know if someone else is hungry,

844
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:36,919
Speaker 7: and you have to trust in good faith that they are.

845
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 7: And let's say you just ate an enormous meal and

846
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 7: they say I'm still hungry.

847
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 4: You can't say you can't be hungry. We just ate

848
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 4: so much. They just that they're hungry. You have to

849
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 4: run and roll with that. So it is about trusting.

850
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 7: The other person, and the arrogance comes from thinking like, no,

851
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 7: they can't be feeling that because that's only one person's experience.

852
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 7: So it's really about stepping out of yourself and saying

853
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 7: this is possible feeling this way.

854
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 4: You have to under standard. I simply need to be

855
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 4: here to accept it. There's a difference between understanding and accepting, right.

856
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,760
Speaker 5: And the thing is, ultimately I do end up getting

857
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 5: to that point, but it is I mean literally last night,

858
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,919
Speaker 5: but Jana had to like walk out of the room

859
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 5: because she was getting so frustrated that I was physically

860
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:24,280
Speaker 5: like in agony trying to comprehend, trying to understand.

861
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 6: It sounds he didn't need to understand. I just I

862
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 6: didn't need him to. I was just like, that's my

863
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 6: just say I'm sorry you feel that way. How can

864
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 6: I maybe help you in the future or something, And

865
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 6: it just he just physically could not do it. And

866
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 6: I was like, I cannot hold your hand through this

867
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 6: right now because I'm getting frustrated and I'm walking out

868
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 6: of the room.

869
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 7: Right, And so that idea like and I would want

870
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 7: to know then what happened in your childhood that understanding

871
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 7: became so important because that goes deeper, you know, because

872
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 7: it drives that need that somehow in your early environment

873
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 7: with your parents or caregivers or even your siblings, there

874
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 7: was a need to get it and that might have

875
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 7: given you power in the family system or comfort in

876
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 7: the family system. These icebergs run really, really deep, and

877
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 7: if I were my client and I was working with you,

878
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,919
Speaker 7: I would really want to spend the time saying why

879
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 7: is it so important to get it?

880
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 4: Why can't you just feel it? I mean, forgive me

881
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 4: for using sort of a I don't know, like a bit.

882
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 7: Of a sexy example, but it's trying to understand your orgasm.

883
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 7: How often you say, wow, that's quite good, and I'm

884
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 7: feeling like ramped up.

885
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 4: You're like, no, that felt really good. You know.

886
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,919
Speaker 7: You don't try to deconstruct feelings, whether they're good ones

887
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 7: like orgasms or eating a great meal, or they're bad ones.

888
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 4: You just roll with the feeling.

889
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 7: And I think that in a relationship with somebody's having

890
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 7: a rough time of it, it's being in the moment

891
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 7: with their feeling, and it could very well be that

892
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 7: you're uncomfortable with her discomfort, and by trying to understand it,

893
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 7: you're creating distance between you and her rather than closeness.

894
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 7: Because you're uncomfortable, she's fine with her feeling. You're the

895
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 7: one who's struggling.

896
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 12: Are certain types of women attracted to narcissistic men?

897
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 4: Correct?

898
00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 12: Because I repeatedly am very attractive, So.

899
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 3: What is that?

900
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:03,919
Speaker 9: What is that?

901
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 4: Narcissists? Almost?

902
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,839
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm going to use a heterosexual paradigm here,

903
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 7: so forgive me it, and I'm giving men men women

904
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 7: women doesn't matter. The narcissist always gets the girl, and

905
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 7: that's because they're more clever, they're more charming, they're more extroverted,

906
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 7: they tell a better story, they're much better at dating.

907
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 4: They can be so attentive.

908
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 7: In the beginning that you feel like you're the only

909
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 7: person in the world, and then once they've got your attention,

910
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 7: it's like putting a butterfly under glass, like they're not

911
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,399
Speaker 7: interested anymore. Now you'd like to think, you know, first time,

912
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 7: shame on you know, shame on you.

913
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 4: Second time, shame on me. But some people keep.

914
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 7: Doing it because what they'll often say is like, if

915
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 7: somebody's not really exciting in the beginning, I'm going to

916
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 7: get bored and I'm not interested. But a lot of

917
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 7: it also comes from early family stuff that many times

918
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,240
Speaker 7: people will say, you know what, I had to really

919
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 7: pedal fast and hard to get my parents' attention, and

920
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 7: to this day, to me, love means I got to

921
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 7: work hard to keep someone's attention, and people will really

922
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,479
Speaker 7: keep replaying that dynamic over and over again.

923
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 4: I gotta be honest with you.

924
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,959
Speaker 7: Sometimes where it turns around, somebody gets really really hurt

925
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 7: by a narcissist. I mean they get destroyed by one,

926
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,360
Speaker 7: and then they go date or fall inve with someone

927
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 7: that ten years before they would have thought was boring

928
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 7: and they find that, wow, this boring thing is.

929
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 4: Really hot, Like I am down with this.

930
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 7: But they really had to kind of go through that,

931
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 7: they had to get hurt to work through that earlier conflict,

932
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 7: to realize they were working through earlier kinds of stuff

933
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 7: to keep winning this person over. And remember, for a

934
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 7: lot of people out there, their prevailing self story.

935
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 4: Is I'm not enough.

936
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 7: I'm not pretty enough, I'm not tall enough, i'm not

937
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 7: smart enough, I'm not rich enough. And narcissists reinforced that

938
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 7: idea of not enough. So then people it's almost like

939
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 7: a job then like I'm going to lose weight, or

940
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 7: I'm going to be sexier, or I'm going to make

941
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 7: more money, or I'm going to get a promotion.

942
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,839
Speaker 4: I'm going to win this person over.

943
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 7: Like I said, that's often a story that starts in

944
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 7: people's family of origin and then they keep.

945
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 12: Playing that get this person over is really winning. It's

946
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 12: really hitting me hard because it's like I always want to, Oh,

947
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 12: I'll feel so good if I just do.

948
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 9: I'll bend like a pretzel to get them back.

949
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 5: Do you feel like you'll end up breaking him? Amy?

950
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 5: Is that like you're going, you think, But.

951
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 9: She's nailing it with winning.

952
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,760
Speaker 12: It's like, I'll feel so good when I get them back,

953
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 12: and I'll be so happy and this time it'll be good.

954
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 12: And I read I've read like twenty books on narcissism,

955
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 12: and what's really fascinating is they are textbook like the

956
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 12: book look like and then this will happen, and it did,

957
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,919
Speaker 12: and then this will happen and it did, and.

958
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 6: I'm so now we just now you need to see

959
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 6: why you do that, why you go to those men?

960
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 3: Did you call the therapist?

961
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 12: Yeah, Mike has send me has another one today, and

962
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 12: I feel like I'm getting a little something something right now.

963
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: I know you need to like figure out why you

964
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 2: keep picking it.

965
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 12: Yes, because I do agree, like it's on me now. Yeah,

966
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 12: And I even and I have been hurt so bad,

967
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 12: so bad, so bad, and I thought, oh, I won't.

968
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 9: Do that again, and I've done it two more times.

969
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, she can narcissists attract each other. I'm saying, is

970
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:07,720
Speaker 5: it possible.

971
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 4: Each other?

972
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 3: And and I like the show? So can you not know?

973
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 9: I'm the m path. I've read like a lot of

974
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 9: books I take.

975
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 5: I'm just curious because I know you're all pretty aware.

976
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 4: You're aware. I just think, no, no, no.

977
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 12: Narcissism is so prevalent and it's become sort of a

978
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 12: catch phrase. But they are truly crazy makers because you

979
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 12: feel crazy, you're like and they kind of tell you

980
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 12: you're crazy, and then you think, am I am I crazy?

981
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 2: Like?

982
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 4: Wait?

983
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 3: Am I the one? Am I the one?

984
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 12: And I I think sometimes they're right, and I'll go, oh,

985
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 12: if I just do this, then will be good.

986
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 9: If I just do this, will be okay.

987
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,399
Speaker 6: I feel like that's a lot of that's a lot

988
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 6: of relationships, so too no, No.

989
00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 4: It's not. It shouldn't be.

990
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 7: No, you're ever in a relationship and you feel that confused,

991
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,720
Speaker 7: you got to get out. Some women, what you're describing

992
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,760
Speaker 7: is what we call gaslighting. Gaslighting is where you keep

993
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 7: challenging someone's reality over and over and over again to

994
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 7: the point where they feel like they're losing their mind.

995
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 7: And in mental health, gas lighting qualifies as emotional abuse.

996
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 7: I mean, it's so different than sort of rounding up

997
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 7: a fist and punching someone in the face. It's exactly

998
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 7: the same thing, just leaves a different bruise. And so

999
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 7: when somebody challenges your reality, not okay.

1000
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 12: Some women are strong and like if a man treats

1001
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 12: them badly, they go at this and they're out where

1002
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 12: I'm like, oh yeah, let me come back for ten

1003
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 12: times of this.

1004
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 9: This is this great, let me try that again.

1005
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 4: But it's addictive.

1006
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 7: It's addictive, right because that idea of winning, winning actually

1007
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 7: lights up the dopamine in our brain.

1008
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 4: Like because it is, it often.

1009
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 7: Does become a cycle of they win you over and

1010
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 7: it's really fun and you're having a great time, and

1011
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 7: then they pull away a little bit, like, oh I

1012
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 7: got to win them back over. Again, hustle, hustle, hustle,

1013
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 7: You get their attention, exciting dopamine, and you keep doing

1014
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 7: it over and over again.

1015
00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 4: So it's an old cyclone.

1016
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,760
Speaker 7: So people who are actually have at all an addictive

1017
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 7: style of their personality, they're often drawn to narcissists too,

1018
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 7: people who don't mind roller coasters, and people who are

1019
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 7: sort of slow and steady. They'll walk away. But it

1020
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 7: is Listen, we're all going to.

1021
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 4: Make the mistake. How many people are going to say, well,

1022
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 4: really attractive guy just gave me.

1023
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,399
Speaker 7: His number, I'm going to crumple it up and throw

1024
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 7: it in the trash.

1025
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 4: Actually, by the time I'm.

1026
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 7: Done with people, they do, I mean, because they're so

1027
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 7: scared after they talk to me, because.

1028
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 4: I trained them so well. I'm like, God, these are

1029
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:26,839
Speaker 4: the things to look for.

1030
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 7: But someone smooth and slick and suave and charismatic, I

1031
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 7: really love to get to know you.

1032
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 4: You're the most interesting person in the room. Most people say, Wow,

1033
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 4: this is really great. I want to meet this person.

1034
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 7: So the trick is a lot of people need to

1035
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 7: learn better gatekeeping and the first time, the first time

1036
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 7: anyone fools with your reality, you need to get out

1037
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 7: and that and really to lay that down because and

1038
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 7: then what will happen is the narcissist will try to

1039
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 7: sock you back in. It's actually something called hoovering. They

1040
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 7: will give you the full court press to get you

1041
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 7: back in. And you have to have absolute nerves of

1042
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 7: steel to say absolutely not. Because the one thing, the

1043
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 7: one thing you've got to remember about narcissists that they

1044
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 7: don't change. They are one trick ponies. They only know

1045
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 7: one song and they will not change.

1046
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 3: Interesting.

1047
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,919
Speaker 5: This is definitely going to be a trending topic as

1048
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 5: years go on in this society, I mean, the way

1049
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 5: things are going. Doctor Ramani, thank you so much for

1050
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,439
Speaker 5: your time. Where can our where can our listeners find

1051
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 5: you to learn more about you know, your outlook on

1052
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 5: all of this.

1053
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at doctor Romney

1054
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 7: which is d O C t O R r A

1055
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 7: m A n I. You can find my website at

1056
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 7: doctor Romney which is d O.

1057
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 4: C t O R dash r A m a n

1058
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 4: I dot com.

1059
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 7: If you go to either those places, it will link

1060
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 7: you to my YouTube channel, my Instagram, Twitter, all the

1061
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 7: rest of it too. And new book coming out so

1062
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 7: you can order it. It's just about to hit the stores.

1063
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 7: It's called Don't You Know Who I Am? How to

1064
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:51,439
Speaker 7: Stay Sane in an Era of narcissism, entitlement, and incivility.

1065
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 7: So it's a survival guide for the next century.

1066
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,880
Speaker 5: And that's October first.

1067
00:44:56,160 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 7: Now October first, Yeah, so much appre thank you take

1068
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Speaker 7: good care of them.

1069
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1070
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1071
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1072
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Speaker 3: But what about a subscription.

1073
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1074
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1075
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1076
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1077
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1080
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1081
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1082
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1083
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1084
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1092
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 6: so I've been texting with Lauren because her Laura, Yeah,

1093
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 6: Laurena Elena sorry thinks and her first episode, her first dance,

1094
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 6: just came out on Dancing with Stars, So she said

1095
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 6: she can call in Easton.

1096
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: Is that gonna be cool? Can she?

1097
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 2: Can?

1098
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 3: She call in?

1099
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,240
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, let's get on the phone.

1100
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 3: All right, Lauren?

1101
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,320
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1102
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 2: Hey, oh my god, girl, you killed it.

1103
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1104
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 13: I just watched it again and I was like, is

1105
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 13: that nateh? Like you even know that person? I'm like

1106
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 13: an a new person.

1107
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 6: And I feel like you kind of because you came

1108
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 6: over and you're like, I can't dance at all, and

1109
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 6: then you came out there and like Michael's like, hey,

1110
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 6: so how did Lauren do?

1111
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 3: Because he was. I think he was watching football.

1112
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 2: And I said, she freaking killed it, Like you did

1113
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 2: not miss like a step?

1114
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 13: Well you I don't know how.

1115
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 2: Here's the thing though, you like, even though even if

1116
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 2: you did, like we never know, and that's something too,

1117
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 2: Like I remember I've been like, oh my god, but

1118
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 2: I missed that and this, and it's like but we

1119
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 2: don't know, you know, like watching.

1120
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 13: Yeah, I was so proud. I thought I was going

1121
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 13: to pass out.

1122
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:32,800
Speaker 2: I was so excited.

1123
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 3: That's amazing.

1124
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 6: Like that's gotta be like the best feeling, like knowing that,

1125
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 6: like you know, it's just like that you're like proud

1126
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 6: of yourself.

1127
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 13: I am so proud. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad

1128
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 13: that it went well and we got Sam.

1129
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 2: That is that's incredible, like literally incredible.

1130
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 13: Because everyone was like, yeah, the judges are going to

1131
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 13: be harder this year, and they worked pretty strict. I

1132
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 13: was like, crap, but Globe like to me, he said,

1133
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 13: don't even pay attention to the score, Like it's no

1134
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 13: matter what our score is, it doesn't matter. It's they're

1135
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 13: gonna be so much more strict this year. This year,

1136
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 13: and it's gonna be okay. Just don't let it get

1137
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 13: you down if we don't get a good score. And

1138
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 13: I was like, is he giving me a pep talk?

1139
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 13: Is he telling me that we're gonna get a bad school?

1140
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 13: When they were like when they said all right, let's

1141
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 13: get your scores, I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna

1142
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 13: pass out right now. I didn't even I was like

1143
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 13: I blacked out. I don't even know. I was so nervous.

1144
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 13: And then we got great scores, and I was like

1145
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 13: I wanted to look at glob and.

1146
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 2: Be like, uh huh, how are you preparing for next week?

1147
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 13: So we have today off? They like made everyone take

1148
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 13: today off. I think that's different. Usually I think, did

1149
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 13: you learn your new dance on Tuesdays?

1150
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1151
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 3: There was there was no days off.

1152
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 13: Yeah, so they like made everyone take today off. It's

1153
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 13: like a new rule, I guess. So I'm just laying

1154
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 13: around praying about it.

1155
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: Well, I'm in LA, So let's get together.

1156
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 5: You are uh huh, we have to.

1157
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 3: I would love that.

1158
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 6: Hey a girl, I just got to ask because it's

1159
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 6: out there. How's your heart?

1160
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 4: My heart is good.

1161
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 13: It's it's kind of like weird timing obviously, to go

1162
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 13: through a break right before you go on TV, but

1163
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 13: it's been a good distraction. And John and Friends. I mean,

1164
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 13: I love John. We were best friends before we dated.

1165
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 13: It's just like didn't work out, you know, yeah, but

1166
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 13: we're still friends. I've just talked to him and he says,

1167
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 13: you know, he's really proud of me. And it sucks.

1168
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 6: I mean it's sad, but like now's the times are

1169
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 6: just like have so much freaking fun on Dancing with

1170
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 6: the Stars and I want everyone to vote for Laura

1171
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 6: and Elena because she's incredible person and she's killing the

1172
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 6: like like that was insane. I'm so excited to watch

1173
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 6: every week now because I think I think the mirror

1174
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 6: Ball is going to stay in the Country family because

1175
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:13,800
Speaker 6: that was that was so good, Like it's got to

1176
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 6: be so happy.

1177
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 13: When we get it home. But yes, I want to

1178
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:22,839
Speaker 13: win so bad. After doing that dance that I wasn't

1179
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 13: sure that I was gonna be able to do, Like

1180
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 13: I didn't know how I would do in the moment,

1181
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 13: you know, I was like, please don't get out there

1182
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 13: and forget it. I just kept praying, just remember the steps,

1183
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 13: to remember the steps, because it's so different than anything

1184
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 13: I've ever done. And I was like what if I'm

1185
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 13: like nervous and forget the whole thing. That was like yeah,

1186
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 13: But now that I got that one out of the way,

1187
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:44,479
Speaker 13: I think I can do it. I think I could

1188
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 13: do this.

1189
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 2: Well.

1190
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 3: Just know that Gleb.

1191
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 6: You know, Gleb totally gets that because I remember the

1192
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 6: first dance, like right before the beet beep beep, I

1193
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 6: was like, Glove, I've got the entire thing. I've forgot

1194
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:53,959
Speaker 6: the entire thing. He's like, no, you didn't, just dance

1195
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 6: and it was like end, You're live and I'm like, so.

1196
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:01,280
Speaker 7: It's oh, it's terrible yep on the show.

1197
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 13: I mean it scared you.

1198
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 6: It's like it's like your heartbeat, like coming out of

1199
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 6: your truest.

1200
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 13: Heart. Like it's very well, I love you.

1201
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 2: You looked beautiful. I'm so proud of you.

1202
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 6: And I think the biggest takeaway this is that you're

1203
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 6: proud of yourself too, which I think is huge.

1204
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 13: So I'm so proud.

1205
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 3: I love you. I'll text you later bybe okay, okay,

1206
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 3: bye bad.

1207
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 6: So why does Men's Health called the Peloton bike the

1208
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 6: best cardio machine on the planet. Well, let's break it down.

1209
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 6: So you can't find a workout that keeps you engaged.

1210
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 6: Peloton in this immersive cardio experience with real time features

1211
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 6: that will always.

1212
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: Keep you coming back. Work up a great spitt at

1213
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 2: home for less than the cost of a studio class.

1214
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 6: So I actually got to just work with Peloton and

1215
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 6: it was incredible. First of all, their treadmills and their

1216
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 6: bikes are absolutely insane. But the greatest part about that

1217
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 6: is if you don't want to pay for an expensive

1218
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 6: trainer or a gym membership, Peloton offers classes, which is

1219
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 6: so great on their amazing Peloton screen and you can

1220
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 6: either watch live classes or you can download some classes

1221
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 6: that you like from your favorite trainers. It's so great.

1222
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,760
Speaker 6: So you can get in your zone with curated music

1223
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 6: designed to move and motivate you, hip hop, country, Latin,

1224
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 6: whatever you're in the mood for. They've got classes waiting

1225
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 6: for you with a variety of themes, difficulty levels, and

1226
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 6: training programs. Experience something new every time you sweat. Live

1227
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 6: encouragement from top instructures makes you want to keep coming

1228
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 6: back for more. So Peloton is offering a limited time

1229
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 6: offer get one hundred dollars off accessories when you purchase

1230
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 6: the Peloton bike and get a great cardio workout at home.

1231
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 6: Go to one Peloton dot com and use promo code

1232
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,360
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1233
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 6: Peloton p e l Oton dot com and use the

1234
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 6: promo code wind down. That's one dash Peloton on dot com.

1235
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 3: Okay, I have to peek, like really bad. Actually you

1236
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 3: actually have to pee. So did Tori? Right here?

1237
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:11,439
Speaker 2: Right here?

1238
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,879
Speaker 3: What did she get? Let's see, I feel like toy

1239
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 3: needs to come in here.

1240
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 1: They're blue there.

1241
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 2: I told her not to get that kind.

1242
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 8: It's a peanut butter cups, big old for you.

1243
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,320
Speaker 3: Thank you? Go ahead, Tori? Would you have to ask again?

1244
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 3: I had to ask again? Okay?

1245
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 11: She recommended these two and I lost you guys on

1246
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 11: the line, so I didn't hear what you said for

1247
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 11: not getting and I try to ask what Brandy, and

1248
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 11: then you guys were disconnected.

1249
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 3: Well I'm going to go.

1250
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 2: I really have to go.

1251
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 3: You guys keep talking. Thank you for your service. We'll

1252
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 3: go live here on this okay.

1253
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 12: Well, yeah, can you take a phone with you to

1254
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 12: the bathroom bring it in here?

1255
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: Can you resist looking at it until you get in here?

1256
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: Can you wrap it in paper.

1257
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 3: And then bring it in?

1258
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 12: Is Mike glad to tell us what was Jenna trying

1259
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 12: to express to you last night that you couldn't understand,

1260
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,399
Speaker 12: because I want to see if I understand it as

1261
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:14,840
Speaker 12: a woman.

1262
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 3: She was, don't worry.

1263
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:20,880
Speaker 2: I got your back, Okay, Yeah, Yeah, we'll talk babies.

1264
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll talk about will grow me about how I

1265
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 5: feel about this third baby, and we'll talk about the

1266
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 5: other stuff when you get back.

1267
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 9: I think it's great.

1268
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 3: With her sp but I don't.

1269
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 9: Feel like, how do you feel.

1270
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 1: She's gone real hurry fast?

1271
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 5: I mean, yes, it would be amazing. And I was

1272
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 5: genuine when I told Jane. I was like, if we

1273
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 5: have one, great, If we don't.

1274
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:50,320
Speaker 3: I believe you great truly.

1275
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 5: But right now with this up the air, now the

1276
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 5: things that the ideas of starting all over again, and

1277
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 5: you know that, other plans that we wanted to do

1278
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 5: in a few years, and it just it changes the

1279
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,960
Speaker 5: landscape of the next few years life of life. Yeah,

1280
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 5: not even the next few years of life. So it

1281
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 5: just it changes things.

1282
00:55:12,239 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 3: Well, your house is big enough, That's what I was

1283
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 3: gonna say.

1284
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 12: But how long are you just trusting the universe? Like

1285
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 12: if it is great?

1286
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:20,400
Speaker 5: And that's that's why I'm this way That's why I'm like,

1287
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:21,879
Speaker 5: even though we got to protect me for a reason,

1288
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 5: I'm still just like, but.

1289
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 2: Is a part of you like because you know her,

1290
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: and you know if it comes back and it says no,

1291
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 2: She's going to kind of be like, I kind of

1292
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:29,879
Speaker 2: want another no.

1293
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 5: Because my I mean, I'm on my foot's down.

1294
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 9: I also think it's a no. I don't think she is.

1295
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 5: I don't think yes.

1296
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 8: The universe clearly wants you to have this, which is

1297
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 8: totally fine because I love our kids more than anything,

1298
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 8: and like this whole last weekend as hot as hell

1299
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:43,880
Speaker 8: in Nashville, and we were in the pool all day

1300
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 8: every day with both kids, and it was just like,

1301
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 8: this is the happiest thing in the world.

1302
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 5: And it's like the other night, Jolie woke up at

1303
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 5: like four in the morning for some reason, came into bed.

1304
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 5: I'm on I'm near the door side. She came in

1305
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 5: late in my arms for like twenty minutes. I took

1306
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 5: her upstairs to her room. She wanted me to lay

1307
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 5: with her and read her story. We fell asleep together

1308
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 5: in her bed. I'm like this right here. I was like,

1309
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 5: nothing in the world beats this. I was like, so

1310
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 5: if I have a third kid to do that again with.

1311
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:11,399
Speaker 5: I was like, I wouldn't regret that. What's boy or girl,

1312
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:13,720
Speaker 5: it wouldn't matter. Jana would want a boy.

1313
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 1: Down.

1314
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 5: She's like, I want five boys.

1315
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 3: Wow.

1316
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 2: I just feel like a part of her is gonna

1317
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 2: be a little sad if she comes in and it's

1318
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 2: a no, Like I know she's gonna that.

1319
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 5: I honestly have no empathy for because I'm like, this

1320
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,359
Speaker 5: isn't like this.

1321
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,319
Speaker 3: Would just be a bonus, like like, yeah, it'd be.

1322
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 2: Great, it be amazing because you were you guys did

1323
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 2: decide as as a.

1324
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 3: Unit that you were done, and you went and did

1325
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 3: your thing right.

1326
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 5: Even though the next day she's like, actually I don't.

1327
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,840
Speaker 3: Know, dude. We were sitting here in the podcast and

1328
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 3: she was like, actually, I know, that.

1329
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 12: Was very fascinating. I mean, she's not pregnant. I'm I

1330
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 12: would be willing to be.

1331
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 5: But like Sarah's saying, she's definitely gonna probably be a

1332
00:56:56,520 --> 00:57:00,919
Speaker 5: little upset if she's not. But okay, Sarah, what's your gut?

1333
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 6: Rely?

1334
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 1: I mean, the sectomies are pretty good.

1335
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 9: Oh god, she's bad.

1336
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 5: Did you do you have a paper towel? It has

1337
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 5: a cap I don't know these things is clean? Cover

1338
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 5: it up?

1339
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 3: What do you cover it up?

1340
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 5: I don't know. So it's like we all unveeel it together.

1341
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,120
Speaker 1: We gradually get no spoilers.

1342
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 3: What do you mean spoilers up?

1343
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go, say it takes.

1344
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 5: Now now you've been gone for two.

1345
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, it'll show up now because it usually shows up

1346
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 6: with and like like the real Yeah, just give it

1347
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 6: a minute.

1348
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 5: Let's talk about the other stuff and then we'll come

1349
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 5: back to this.

1350
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 3: You're really gonna make us a base.

1351
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 5: That's so rude because what if it says not and

1352
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 5: then in another minute it says yes.

1353
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 3: I don't think they can change their minds.

1354
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 6: That's like almost worse than what Toy said, did you

1355
00:57:58,880 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 6: take did.

1356
00:57:59,280 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 3: You take one?

1357
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 5: Or two?

1358
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 9: I just did one before you Look, how are you feeling?

1359
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 6: Actually, as I was doing it, I was like, Oh,

1360
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:05,919
Speaker 6: I'm kind of like, I'm kind of nervous right now.

1361
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're taking a pregnancy test.

1362
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 12: I would be nervous to do you have a feeling

1363
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 12: how you'll feel if it's a yes or a no?

1364
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 6: Like as excited as I would be, I'm like, I'm

1365
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 6: I'm good to where we're at.

1366
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 3: Okay, we're good. I think I feel that well.

1367
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 1: I think that you'll there will be tears.

1368
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 6: If it's no, a little misty, a little bit of

1369
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 6: a little bit, I think i'd be okay.

1370
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 3: I do too. Think about how drunk you're going to

1371
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 3: get right, you're.

1372
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 5: Going to get you know. I was really excited.

1373
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 9: I feel like we can look, can we look?

1374
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm actually freaking out. Okay, look right, procedure.

1375
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 5: Somehow Okay, ready, what do you do?

1376
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 4: Oh my god?

1377
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 2: If it's two lines, we're pregnant. If it's one line, we're.

1378
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 4: Not, there's.

1379
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 3: Wait, how many lines are Jesus? Oh god?

1380
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 5: To okay, what is it? One more time?

1381
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 3: You're lying limiting? He's like, double jacket. Are you looking

1382
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 3: at the lines? I'm not pregnant?

1383
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 2: How accurate are those things though? I mean they're pretty

1384
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:37,440
Speaker 2: accurate of.

1385
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 12: Him having a vasectomy, and it's saying no, I'm going

1386
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:40,840
Speaker 12: pretty solid.

1387
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 3: No, I'm looking for the second one. Oh god. Because

1388
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,959
Speaker 3: sometimes she's like the line is there?

1389
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 5: I just show up though, It's like, now what.

1390
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 2: You try?

1391
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 9: What did I tell you?

1392
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 2: You know?

1393
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 3: She'll be happy? She won't.

1394
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I really think she's gonna be like just try.

1395
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 3: I kind of do, babe.

1396
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 6: Oh you know, like what a bummer?

1397
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 3: No, who knows? Maybe need some candy?

1398
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 9: Yeah, I started eating. I just literally packed up in chips.

1399
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 9: I'm like, I can't with this.

1400
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 2: I Am like, she's like, someone take a test, someone,

1401
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:23,720
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm going through menopause. My mom went through menopause

1402
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 2: at thirty three.

1403
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, then maybe because she thought she was.

1404
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 2: She took me to the doctor's with her and thought

1405
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 2: that she was.

1406
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look at that later.

1407
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 6: By the way, she thought that she was pregnant, and

1408
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 6: she went through early menopause.

1409
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 3: So that's why I've always.

1410
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 12: Get a full out of whack at your age. But

1411
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:38,600
Speaker 12: will you tell us what happened last night? Because I'm

1412
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:41,000
Speaker 12: really curious whose side I'm on. I'm sorry to say that,

1413
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 12: but I.

1414
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 2: Really I'm most likely did you already tell your part?

1415
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 14: No, I'm most likely you wanted to wait because you

1416
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 14: wanted to Well, he seemed a little frustrated because sometimes

1417
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 14: like nighttime routine can be a little a lot.

1418
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 6: So he seemed just a little more on edge and frustrated.

1419
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 6: And so when we put the kids down, I was

1420
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 6: coming down the stairs and this is the second time

1421
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 6: he's made a comment about the gates, the baby gates

1422
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 6: not closing.

1423
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 5: When was the other time.

1424
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,600
Speaker 2: I was saying, I was like, oh, He's like, did

1425
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 2: you close the gate when we went up to take

1426
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 2: Jason to the bath and you would just close the gate.

1427
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, no, it doesn't close very well.

1428
01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 5: Yeah. All I asked was did you close the gate?

1429
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 6: I know, but and I said no, So then that

1430
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 6: was so. Then the second time was then when I

1431
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 6: came down the steps, and so he was just kind

1432
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 6: of like in a little weird of a mood. And

1433
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:37,800
Speaker 6: then he said this sounds like so juvenile now, but

1434
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 6: we're walking down the I'm walking down the steps and

1435
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 6: he goes, is it so hard for you to not

1436
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:42,040
Speaker 6: shut the gate?

1437
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 5: No? I didn't. I just like, too, that's not at

1438
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:47,760
Speaker 5: all how I said it or what I said.

1439
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 3: You were very like dead, honey, I said.

1440
01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 5: Did you What did I say? I said, did you

1441
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 5: need did you have a hard time shutting the gate?

1442
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:57,120
Speaker 5: Because you had said it's hard to shut? No, but

1443
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 5: you know, we got it fixed. But because the last

1444
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 5: isn't fall completely on it. But this against context, that's

1445
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 5: that's important.

1446
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,760
Speaker 6: But you said, do you have a hard time shutting

1447
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 6: the gate, and I'm like, oh, it just it was

1448
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 6: like very deadpanned, and he was just and I just

1449
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 6: was like okay, like sorry, and to kind of ran

1450
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 6: at the step scene how to like close up properly,

1451
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 6: and then I just again because to me, that was

1452
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:21,919
Speaker 6: not like later on he said that was a joke,

1453
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 6: but I'm like, but you seemed frustrated early on, so

1454
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 6: I didn't really take it as a joke because it

1455
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 6: seemed kind of passive. So when we were in the lawndroom,

1456
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 6: I was just like, hey, I don't know what's going on,

1457
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 6: but if there's something bothering you, will you just please

1458
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 6: let me know, like invitation basically to come talk to me.

1459
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 3: He's like, nothing's wrong, and I'm just like I love how.

1460
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:45,600
Speaker 5: The infliction of her voice to act.

1461
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 6: But like, yeah, I mean you still were like nothing

1462
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:48,880
Speaker 6: like you wasn't like, oh no, babe, I'm totally fine.

1463
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 6: I'm sorry that you think something's wrong, like it was sorry,

1464
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 6: Oh you don't okay, you don't say you're sorry, but

1465
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 6: you can you know, you could have been like, oh no, babe,

1466
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 6: nothing's wrong at all. And so it's a different like

1467
01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 6: sometimes like your tone is can you taken a little harsher?

1468
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:03,560
Speaker 9: Do you guys watch the show The Affair?

1469
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 12: So here's what's super fascinating and why I think you

1470
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 12: guys should watch it the way they do well, it

1471
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 12: is about an affair.

1472
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 9: You'll be able to handle that.

1473
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 12: The clearly they shoot the same scene. Oh love that

1474
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 12: from the woman's perspective.

1475
01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 9: And then the man's love.

1476
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 12: It's the same sort of scenario, and the differences are amazing,

1477
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 12: Like it's incredibly because the way it lands on one

1478
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 12: character when you're seeing it from the male perspective and

1479
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 12: then the opposite, and as the viewer, you're really like, well, wow, yeah,

1480
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 12: I don't know what.

1481
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:47,280
Speaker 9: Happened now because I see both. Yeah, it's super fascinating

1482
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:48,160
Speaker 9: and that's what I see.

1483
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, for sure, And I can get like, you know,

1484
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 6: there's times when you know, he's a little bit more

1485
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 6: quieter than other times.

1486
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,640
Speaker 3: But you know, lately he has been a little bit more.

1487
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 6: Just smoothie, I guess, and so it's just been kind

1488
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:04,680
Speaker 6: of hard to decipher that and it just you know,

1489
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 6: I just think his tone sometimes is very hard to

1490
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 6: take because it's it's not cheery. It doesn't have to

1491
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 6: be You don't have to always be cheery, but you

1492
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 6: can tell when someone's tone is a little off. And

1493
01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 6: so then I came then into the living room and

1494
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 6: I was like, hey, can you just understand or try

1495
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,160
Speaker 6: to understand, like why I thought that that wasn't a

1496
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,800
Speaker 6: joke about the thing, and how like it seems passive

1497
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,640
Speaker 6: to me, and how I still feel like there's something

1498
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 6: wrong with you and I'm sorry that if there isn't,

1499
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 6: like that is totally annoying. And I get that too,

1500
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 6: Like that sucks because like you ask me that sometimes too,

1501
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 6: and it's not. But I'm just I just want you

1502
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 6: to understand why I didn't take that as a joy.

1503
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 12: Hey, that landed on me weird. Do you mind explaining it?

1504
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess.

1505
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 2: Sometimes remember that one time there was a doctor here

1506
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 2: I don't remember her name, and she said something like

1507
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 2: if you had more like oh god, it was like

1508
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:57,200
Speaker 2: something like emotional, if you had more in the bank

1509
01:04:57,280 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 2: or something more like a I feel like that's how

1510
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:05,080
Speaker 2: it is sometimes like he was probably joking, but because

1511
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 2: the tone is not, you're more hyper sensitive to it.

1512
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 2: So like because like I'm the same, Like sometimes I'll

1513
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 2: just like say, like you know, dumb whatever to tie

1514
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 2: or he'll say it to me, and it kind of

1515
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,720
Speaker 2: just like bounces. But I feel like, because you're because

1516
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 2: of what you guys have been through, you're just more

1517
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 2: hyper sensitive to what he says. And then when you say,

1518
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 2: is is something wrong? Maybe he's more hyper sensitive to

1519
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 2: you being like why is something wrong?

1520
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like I feel like that

1521
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:30,880
Speaker 3: could be it for sure.

1522
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 2: That's what I feel like. I'm kind of hearing because

1523
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 2: I feel like you both are probably like, yeah, it

1524
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:38,240
Speaker 2: was nothing, but it was something like he doesn't like

1525
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 2: when you say you know what's wrong or something wrong,

1526
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 2: but then you don't like when he snaps or whatever

1527
01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 2: it is. Even if it was a joke, you didn't

1528
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 2: think it was a joke because you're just more.

1529
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:49,920
Speaker 3: You're not you're not sensitive, but you're more.

1530
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 2: Hyper sensitive to things he and now we're making him

1531
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:56,000
Speaker 2: out an skin right. It's just like his restingness though,

1532
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 2: is like because he.

1533
01:05:56,920 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 5: Thinks a while back, was like yeah, basically I remember

1534
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:05,800
Speaker 5: like yeah, and all my friends think you're grumpy.

1535
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:10,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, what, No, because you're you're more like you're

1536
01:06:10,360 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 2: just like thinking about it, but to you, you're more,

1537
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, So you I could see

1538
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:16,120
Speaker 2: how you'd be like, are you mad?

1539
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,480
Speaker 3: But really he's like, no, I'm not mad, but stop asking,

1540
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 3: you know.

1541
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I do get it, but again it was

1542
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 2: the tone in which, like, I don't think you realized

1543
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:28,400
Speaker 2: this is your tone sometimes with when you speak.

1544
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 9: I'm guilty of doing the you should have done this.

1545
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 3: And men do not enjoy that.

1546
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:35,160
Speaker 9: No, So I really learned.

1547
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 3: And it's like, what are you my mom?

1548
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:38,560
Speaker 9: It's like I'd best.

1549
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:39,080
Speaker 3: Not do that.

1550
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 12: Yeah, So I really am working on that because I

1551
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:42,920
Speaker 12: get it. And they don't like to be told what

1552
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:44,800
Speaker 12: to do. So even if you're like, hey, you should

1553
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:48,080
Speaker 12: have said this or you should feel this, it's essentially

1554
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 12: telling them what to do and they don't care for that.

1555
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 6: I just don't know why it's so hard to like,

1556
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 6: I mean, I was literally talking like a therapist, Michael.

1557
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 3: All I'm asking you to do in this moment.

1558
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 6: Is just to please try to understand where I'm coming

1559
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 6: from and then you can say your feelings after that.

1560
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:04,920
Speaker 6: And he's just like he could not do it, and

1561
01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 6: I was just like, I can't