WEBVTT - Ep 356: Social Media Is Making People Broker 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:10.479 Hey, hey, hey, we're back. 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:11.920 We're black. 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:22.959 Jazz calls for jazz hands. 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:27.840 Hey, how are you manage? 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:31.440 Oh you know, I got my struggle, my struggle blush on, 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.480 my struggle whip on. We're hanging in there. 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.279 I was so proud of myself because I like did 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.479 a little lightbeat for the first time with him. I 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:42.760 never ever used a tinted moisturizer. You know who put 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.440 me on the tinted moisturizer you know, no, Cole Walter 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:46.440 two thousand and three. 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:50.360 No, no, I was. I had no idea. I was like, wait, 0:00:50.400 --> 0:00:53.920 what so the Cole Walter cream come up? 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:54.560 Girl? 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:55.920 Tell us about BBE cream tips. 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.080 There's a super talk with girl who I love, Nicole 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:03.480 Walters On Like that's what literally her name on social media. 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:04.440 She had like a TV show. 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:09.440 Anyway, Nicole has the most beautiful, gorgeous, glowing black skin. 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:12.160 And I was just like. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:14.120 But I just figured, you know, this is just you know, 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:16.600 this is her look, like that's just and which it is. 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:17.440 She has beautiful skin. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.640 But she was like that she loves like tinted moisturizer 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:22.360 because it just helps to give it the all round 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:24.680 even And I was like, say what now, how did 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.959 I miss out the tinted moisturizer like trend? 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:30.480 And I was like, wait what? 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:34.520 So I'm mosied on down to the Sephora met Zanaiah 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.360 hay Zanaya. She's a like, you know, she works at 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.840 Sephora in Wilbrook Mall in New Jersey. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:41.040 And she was so nice. 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:43.319 So we tried on all these different tinted moisturizers and 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:47.520 I tried on this one called Granada from Nars and 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:49.200 I was like, but Zania, I can't see it, she 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.320 said exactly. 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:52.600 I was like, oh, and so. 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.400 If you're watching on this on YouTube, girl, when I 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.040 say my skin is because I already have decent skin. 0:01:57.360 --> 0:02:00.760 The skin is giving and the and I was like, 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.680 you need a little eyebrow jels like don't play this 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:03.960 and I but okay, and. 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.280 So that's why my eyeballs are looking laid to the woods. 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:09.760 Tell us about girl. 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.080 I don't remember. I was like, girl, just a few 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:14.120 years ago, I was still working. I'm sorry giving you. 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.200 So much shit. I deserve it a little bit, though 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:18.040 I know you go on any longer. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:18.280 I know. 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:24.280 Welcome Tiffany, Welcome of our Lord twenty No one of 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:26.160 you girls have been out here slaying, and I was like, wow, 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:31.280 look like that. Oh I'm just happy you're happy with 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.200 a little pumpkin poppin. I love it. 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:35.280 You know you have the top in another color, dude, 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:39.639 last time, I sake, you have a good eye. Okay, journalist, 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:42.960 i'd be playing. 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:48.320 So did you hear about the Aurora bole Aurora borealist? 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.359 Like that's just north They were supposed to be usable 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:54.119 last night. Did you see any girl? 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.080 I got about it like ninety. 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:59.200 No, I did it from New York. You could see that. 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:00.680 Well, this is like I think, like it's like you're 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.280 out in the country. Well know, I came back. So, 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.240 but every three hundred years or so there's something like 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:08.120 that that you can see them, not just in Alaska, 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.320 in Ireland and not Ireland Iceland. Those are the two places, 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:13.200 and so we're supposed to be able to see it 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.080 basically like in the North. So I went outside at 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:17.560 night to take a look. But you know, with all 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:20.960 the light, light pollution, pollution, Yeah, so I didn't get 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:22.440 you know, we're going to get to see but I 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:23.440 want to see the northern lions. 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:24.960 That's on my bucket list. I want to go to 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.200 Alaska or Iceland to see them. 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:29.720 Yeah, I feel like even here it would be neat. 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:32.079 But it's something about I don't know, those places where 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:34.440 you can live in an igloo and then you know, 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:37.960 like see it through your window. Yeah that sounds magical. Yeah. 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:40.400 And Rika made me watch Succession last night. I mean 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.920 he didn't make me, but like, you know, I was 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:44.360 on the couch and I feel like getting up and 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:45.240 he wanted to watch it. 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:47.560 I just can't get into you. I know you don't, 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:48.480 you know, a big TV fan. 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:51.400 But Succession is a show that, like everyone talks about 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:56.000 it wins all the awards, and it's basically like a 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:59.600 version of the Murdoch family, just like this billionaire you know, 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:05.920 multi billionaire family that the dad, the patriarch, owns like 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:08.600 all these you know, this huge company that owns multiple 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:12.920 companies and the kids are complete trash assholes and people 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.600 are obsessed with it and you just watch them just 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.320 kind of destroy each other and be horrible people. And 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.920 I'm just like, but why I'm not I'm not in 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.080 But they were in Norway. That's why I thought about it, 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:24.520 and I was like, oh, I want to go to Norway. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:26.120 So at least I got something out of watching it. 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:29.320 But anyway, and to what end. 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:30.560 I was thinking about that this more. I was having 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:34.280 a very like I don't know what it's esoteric, but 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:36.000 like experience is warning. I was taking a shower and 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:39.360 I thought to myself, So, let's just say, you spend 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.880 eighty years working so hard to make all the money 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:42.320 and have. 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.920 All the but then one day you're not here. 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:48.680 That's literally what the show's about. Tis it's called yes 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:51.440 No you hit it ah ahead, and it's like and 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:55.840 then you just see the wolves descend, and in your 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:58.000 legacy is that you created these shitty humans. 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.919 Yeah, so I'm just see, here's. 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.360 The thing even if like I get it people like, oh, 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:04.240 I want to create a legacy, But here's the thing 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:08.800 about having a legacy. You literally are not here, so 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.560 like you know what I mean, Like you're not here 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:13.240 to see it through. You're not here to see if 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:15.240 the legacy actually shakes out the way you wanted to. 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:17.359 So I'm not saying that you shouldn't work hard to 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.720 provide for your family and errors and things like that, 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:23.160 but it's like, I don't know, it's like you've almost 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:27.560 sacrificed yourself and your goodness and whatever to what end, 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.920 Because no matter how much money people make, it all ends. 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:33.480 I mean, if Steve Jobs passing away taught us nothing, 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:36.880 is that money and wealth and access and everything that 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:39.839 he had at his fingertips. He's not here and he 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:43.880 was young, relatively speaking, and so it just seemed like 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:47.520 such a foolish endeavor to spend the time that you 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:50.120 are here doing not so great things. 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:51.320 So I just was thinking about. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.240 Less You're going to create great humans who can carry 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.240 on and do good with them. That's that's what it's about. Yes, yeah, 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:57.520 I know what you mean. I know what you mean. 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:01.279 It's like, if you're going to leave the place, leave 0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:05.160 what you built with people who are inherently like selfish 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:08.119 and self serving and have their best interests at heart, 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:12.680 then thanks, appreciate you the rest of the world, and 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:16.279 thank you, mister rich guy. You know, so leave things 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:18.200 just the way they are when you were here. But 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.440 ooh I did, even though I overslept through my nap. 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:22.720 I did. Of course. 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:25.719 I always have time to check Instagram real quick, and 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:27.680 I'm not gonna lie. The first thing I saw is 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.919 that Don Lemon just got Acts from CNN. 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:31.560 I knew that was coming, and. 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.160 Don Lemon has been there for I know, I feel 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.839 like every couple years. It was like a Don Lemon controversy. 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.680 But it just reminded me again because his statement, his 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:42.960 statement came out and he was like, I was stunned. 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.880 I had no idea today that I wouldn't be or 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.000 there was no indication that I wouldn't be able to 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:50.880 continue the great work that I've done there. And I'm like, yep, 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:55.480 like everybody else, when they decide that you are no 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:58.960 longer serving them and their business needs, they will kick 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.640 your ass to the side. And if you're a woman 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:05.880 of color, a person of color even quicker. So Don 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:09.560 Lemon ain't special. What was it this time? He said 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.320 old women were past their prime. That was the last 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:12.320 thing I remember. I knew he was. 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.320 I said, Don, you're about to be on your wheel. 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.480 But he'll be fine, you know, like he'll have a 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.760 podcast by tomorrow exactly. So, but I just welcome. 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:24.160 I was thinking too, like even like there was this. 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.280 I went live last night on like Instagram for a 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:30.600 little bit and when I was finished, I like swiped 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.600 through a few stories and one of the stories I 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:35.200 saw people always got meme, so you know, Jamie Fox 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:36.400 has been hospitalized. 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:41.880 Reportedly, yes, stroke gone. Reportedly they're saying it's for a stroke. Now, well, 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:42.480 you know that's. 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:44.720 What the people say, but who knows, okay, if that's 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.560 true or not. And so they said that he was 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:49.280 like working on a movie. I think he had two 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:53.000 more weeks left. And so this is all supposed reportedly, 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:54.560 this is what you know, this is all from my meme. 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:56.880 So you know, God take it with the smallest grain 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.840 of smallest sault anyway, that he's working on a movie. 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.000 There's only like two weeks of shooting left, and instead 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.760 of waiting for him to recover, they instead just finished 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.760 with his body double right, And so, like the memes 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:11.280 purpose was to say that, like, take your rest because 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:14.720 even if you don't, they will find somebody to replace you, 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.320 you know. And that was just like dark but true, 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.720 but meaning that like sometimes we say that we will 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:25.160 break ourselves in order to you know, get something accomplished, 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:27.240 only to find out that like if we. 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:29.480 Just said no, they would figure it out. 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:31.320 We all, you know, we act like we're the oh, 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:32.920 y'all be all the people won't figure it out. 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:34.320 They'll figure it out, you know. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:37.959 Hm, that's the same speech I give to anyone who's 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:41.720 really frustrated or really I'm concerned about leaving their job 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.360 for a new opportunity, and they're like, but I've made 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.120 such an impact with the team, but my my, you 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.199 know again the word legacy or what I've built here, 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.680 and I'm just like, it's going to be okay. People 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:54.800 have quit before. You have entire prime minister's quitting right now, 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:58.080 like someone Biles left the Olympics and said they're all good. 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.560 You know, I think that there's at the same time, 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.280 you know, Don Lemon left, it does feel like there's 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.640 this you know, we haven't had a chance to talk 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:08.800 about this, but when you were on, when you were 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:12.200 in traveling in March, there was this influencer and now 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.480 I'm not going to remember her name, but she kind 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.240 of went viral because she had, you know, built this 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:20.680 huge following, had this very successful business and basically wrote 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.360 like I'm kind of done, y'all, I'm going to walk 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:23.400 away from this for a while. 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.720 I think I saw I had send you a message. 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.360 I'm like, we should have her, which is so ironic 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:28.320 because she ain't gonna be on. 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:31.880 Did send me a message? And I was like, wow 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.480 a sidebar, cousin. Yeah, we talked about that later. We 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.920 talked about that, lady. We talk about the later boost. 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:43.280 But but yeah, there have been you know these I 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:46.640 just you know this, these people who are announcing that 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.920 they're they are choosing like a different path and they're 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.839 just you know, leaving, and it's like, Okay, but your 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:56.080 people and but your followers they rely on you, but 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:58.959 your audience and this, and that they're gonna be fine. 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.040 You know, they'll find another I mean, they'll maybe miss you, 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.240 hopefully you'll be missed. But at the same time, it 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:09.320 shouldn't stop you from pursuing whatever it is that like 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:13.079 we deserve, we deserve to pursue what lights us up 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.800 and not feel this burden to you know, continue to 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:18.160 do a dog and pony show that we're just not 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:18.960 interested in anymore. 0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:20.800 Girl, When I tell you, that's what I love, That's 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:23.320 what the life was about last night. That like one 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:26.079 of the benefits of like taking like a deep break 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:31.640 from social media is that I didn't feel the urgency 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:35.040 that social media kind of like you know, so much stuff, 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.400 I don't know what's happening, and so I get to 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.080 actually just look at my day to day life and 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.640 just enjoy it as it is, not as I wish 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.400 it could be, you know, because we will literally stress 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.520 ourselves out over something we just learned. Like I was like, 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:50.360 I had never heard of tuloom five years ago, you know, 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.280 of course Mexico, but I never heard of to Loom Mexico. 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.880 And now the girls can't live without Tulum. They can't 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.839 live without Toulu. Everybody go to Loom. I'm like, yeah, 0:10:57.840 --> 0:10:59.640 I didn't even know to Little existed five years. 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:04.120 Ago, but so media fortieth every bachelor girl but some 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:05.560 of y'all, like I did hear about to Little. 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.199 He got a really good press person or social media. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:13.640 Girl was tired the tuloom is Tulum was like, actually, 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:15.840 we're good over here. But I see all that to 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:19.680 say that, like it became like this destination that you 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.960 must do, but so many people had never even heard 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.920 of it before, and that social media sometimes the world 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.120 we live in now can create urgency where there is now. 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.360 I was talking to my sister Carol the other day 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.360 and my niece Samiliar, who's six. She has to put 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:37.319 a lock on the tablet because they keep downloading games 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:38.920 and things for a dollar two dollars whatever. 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:41.720 Once Roman downloading a stock market girl. 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.080 This boy told his mother, I want to do a 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:46.640 summer program where I could do math and build things. 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:49.640 Yeah, he's not downloading money the other. 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.280 Regulars, right, and he's just out here just you know, 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:56.079 just who knows. It's probably a casino app. Just don't baby, Because. 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:00.319 So she asked a mother, can you cause now that 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.560 Carol has a cold loock on it? Mommy, can you 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.240 put in your numbers? And she said no, And so 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:06.800 Amelia was like, it's only. 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:07.480 A dollar ninety nine. 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.480 Can imagine the six year old who pays no bills 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.040 because I guess in her mind her birthday just passed. 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:16.320 So she's like, girl, if it's money, you need more 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:20.920 more more, Yes, exactly we do. And so she was 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.640 like Amelia, no, And the way Amelia I actually had 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:25.520 to tell Carol, can you check out my niece because 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:27.520 she sounds like she's being dangled from the top of 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.720 a building and it's scared for her life because the 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:33.360 way she had a meltdown for something that she did 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.480 not even know existed until five minutes ago. And I 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:38.920 thought to myself, this is how we're navigating that, you know, 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.160 we can all be like, oh, mim be a good girl. 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.720 But it's like we are all navigating from the space 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:45.959 of things that we didn't even know existed. All of 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.400 a sudden, there's this urgency and this need. And honestly, 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:51.200 I was reading an article, I think it was CNBC 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:55.560 of how it's costing young people their financial future. You know, 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:58.200 you're spending money on things that you don't you know, 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:02.000 necessarily even make you happy. You are, you know, telling 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.800 yourself like soft life, which is nothing wrong with that, 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.520 but you have no work experience, you know, like even 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.199 this I've always I wanted to talk to about the 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:10.520 work from home. Do we talk about the work from 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:14.319 home girlfriend? No, the girl the stay at home girlfriend movement? 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.360 Yeah, like people I have to skip. I was like, 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:19.440 make sure the algorithm knows I don't want these videos. 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:24.400 But yes, basically like a kept girlfriend who's like bragging 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.680 about it on social media and yes, aesthetic everything. 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.280 But the problem is is that most of these kept 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.200 most of these kept girlfriends, they think they're winning because 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.920 most of them are in their twenties and they think 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:37.560 my boyfriend is taking care of me. All I gotta 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.120 do is BQ, make sure he's good. But the problem 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:44.559 is your boyfriend is out there getting an education, work 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.760 experience all of the end starting to set aside for 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:50.360 you know. Let's just like assume that he has a 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:54.040 four one care whatever I work and setting aside money 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.800 for retirement in his twenties and you throughout. 0:13:56.600 --> 0:14:00.480 Your twenties dimension social security girl, so you your twenties, 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.200 he's that man you know, know eligible. 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:03.840 Exactly and even if he takes care of it, but 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:06.640 you have no work experience like you know, or your 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.360 work experience is going to be limited. It doesn't start 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:12.120 into you're thirty or thirty five like everybody knows. Hopefully 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.440 you know the power of compound and interest that it 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:16.760 would take you if you don't. If you start saving 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.320 at twenty, you don't have to put aside nearly as 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:22.080 much then if you start saving at forty or thirty 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.600 or something, So you're missing out on all that juicy 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.480 compound interest of that money that you can have set 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:30.000 aside and invest in. And even if you're like, well, 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:31.880 he's going to take care of me for life, Let's 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.560 just say your your boyfriend. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.160 Is amazing ends up marrying you. He's awesome. 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.600 I lost the love of my life, and he was 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:42.960 all those things amazing, awesome. So you cannot control someone 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.080 just literally might not be here, not because they don't 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:47.520 want to be, because something tragic happens, and then what 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:51.960 And so I just think that social media is actually 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.880 making people broken, which is really. 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.320 So yeah, you know, it's just yeah, I mean, it's 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.200 tails all this time. There's always going to be a 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:01.400 way for I knew. I guess when we were When 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:02.760 I was a kid, it was the toys or rust 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.960 Sunday catalog that thick newspaper came and we'd fight over 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:07.800 who got to get the catalog first, and that would 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.640 tell you what toys you wanted, plus commercials, you know. 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.920 So like I think it's tail as old as time 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:17.360 and so cheez something trying to I have had, you know, 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:18.920 and I know friends of mine who have two. On 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:21.680 those bad days when the kids are crying over things, 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:25.400 you know, toy a toy. Yesterday, Rio was obsessed with 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.800 a dinosaur egg that you can it's basically a piece 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:30.280 of dirt that they saw with the plastic dinosaur inside 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.760 for the low low price of like four dollars per egg. 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:36.480 And I guess he must have seen something on YouTube 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:37.880 because I'm not gonna lie this weekend. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:38.280 It was a. 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:43.360 Screen heavy gun weekend, and he's like, I want to 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:46.000 go the Dinosaur egg store. Everything he thinks to the normal. 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:50.520 It's like a store all freaking day and then anyway, 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.480 I don't know, just my lack of willpower and my husband, 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.880 who never has willpower. He cannot watch this baby cry. 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.640 We ended up at Target later in the day and 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:00.880 I immediately found the to I knew where it was, 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.840 and Rio meanwhile had to go. He's like, mom, because 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.320 I'd never really let him loosen Target, He's usually in 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:09.280 the cart. I'm stuffing snacks in his face to keep 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:11.800 him on that side of the store, and he's like, 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:14.440 there's so many toys and his eyes were just like 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:17.680 so overwhelmed. I'm proud of him because I think it 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:20.640 was almost too much for him to just compute. He's like, 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.520 but this and that and you know, and I was like, yes, 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.000 and we came for this one, and aren't you happy? 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:27.400 And do you want me to put this back so 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:28.960 you can, you know, find something to He's like, no, 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.960 I really wanted that egg toy. But yeah, I'm like 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:34.520 a lord of mercy trying to it's going to be 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.000 a battle, I think for ourselves and for the cheeran 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:40.280 to try to raise ourselves too, just like resist that. 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.160 And I think it really comes down to like constantly 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:47.920 checking in with yourself about what brings you joy and peace, 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:51.320 because it's it's so much easier to ignore the other stuff. 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:55.040 And I think that had I not had I not 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:57.600 spent sort of the last decade and you know, living 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.640 in a city of materialism and things, but then really 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.160 have like being grounded in what the things that I wanted, 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.600 Like I wouldn't have this house, I wouldn't pay for 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:07.480 this wedding. I wouldn't be able to start my own business, 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.960 shouts out to twenty two. I'm just like twenty two 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.560 to twenty six year old Mandy does not get enough credit, 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:16.439 hard like for the life that she created for me 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.960 now because man, like the smallest things, like you said, 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:23.239 saving investing that now I'm not able to do as 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:24.800 easily because I don't work nine to five and I'm 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:27.200 figuring out this new thing. I'm not as pressed or 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.000 stressed because I'm like, Okay, I made moves in the 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.800 first decade of my career that are paying dividends. To me. Now, 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.800 So if I don't even do anything, I've done something, yes, 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:38.719 you know, and it's like what I was always But 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:41.239 that comes I think from I don't know, maybe these 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.560 stay at home girlfriends never saw a single mom be 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.560 broke with four kids trying, you know, and had that 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:51.560 experience of like seeing your mom's credit card or debit 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.920 card get declined at a grocery store. And I'm just like, no, 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:59.199 that's what I value. I value security and you know, 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:02.960 instability and independence. And I don't know, they'll have their 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.119 they'll have a wake up call one day, I. 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.560 Know, but it's going to be an expensive one. That's 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.800 the thing. Hope it ain't my kids. I know I'm cheating. 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:13.360 I hope my boys don't grow up keeping a stay 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:14.720 at home girl. And I hope they're like, man, you 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:18.400 need to get a job for your own security. Yeah, 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:19.720 because you just don't. 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:21.480 I mean, even if someone is amazing and wonderful on 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:24.080 all the things, it's just I'm not saying that. 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:25.920 Like, here's the thing, I'm not saying that. 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:29.119