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Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two, one of your celebrity mentors,

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Speaker 1: Kelly ben Simone, And today I am so excited because

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Speaker 1: my gorgeous daughter, gorgeous and smart daughter Teddy ben Simone

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Speaker 1: is joining me on the pod. Hi Teddy, Hi mom,

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Speaker 1: Hi angel my princess girl. Look at you. Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: get started, ted So this is Iety Part two. We're

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Speaker 1: talking all things love. Okay, do you like to talk

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Speaker 1: about love? Teddy?

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Speaker 2: I love love. I'm a lover.

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Speaker 1: Are you a lover?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm like a romantic person. I love love.

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Speaker 1: I love that you look very beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's set up for the audience. What kind of mother

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Speaker 1: daughter dynamic? What would you say? We have?

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Speaker 2: We are mother daughter, we are you and see are

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Speaker 2: more like friends? Oh? We are like mother daughter?

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Speaker 1: And what does that mean? Exactly?

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Speaker 3: Like you're my mom and I'm your daughter, and we

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Speaker 3: are a mother daughter. You gave birth to me.

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Speaker 2: I did I exist now.

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Speaker 1: It was the easiest birth. It was the easiest. I

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Speaker 1: had a tricky sandwich and so good. We're like. I

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Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to touch you. It was like do not.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember, Kenny, but I love turkey sandwiches. They're delicious.

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Speaker 1: How would you describe our relationship. I mean, I think

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Speaker 1: I definitely see you as my daughter mom.

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Speaker 2: We have a mother daughter relationship, Like you're my mom.

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Speaker 2: Obviously I love you. Obviously, I think you're fabulous, but

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Speaker 2: obviously you're my mom.

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Speaker 3: Like, I'm going to be annoyed with you sometimes, I'm

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Speaker 3: going to think you're cringe. I'm going to think you're embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to think you're annoying. I'm also going to

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Speaker 3: think you're so bad. I'm gonna be like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: I'm annoyed.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I love that you think I'm cringe.

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Speaker 1: That makes me so happy. It makes me so unhappy, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, my daughter called me cringe. To me,

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Speaker 1: that's like music to my ears. Because it's like, I

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Speaker 1: don't I want you to I want you to learn

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Speaker 1: from my mistakes. I don't want you to just think

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Speaker 1: that my mistakes are okay. What do you think about mistakes, Teddy?

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Speaker 3: I think mistakes are great. Your mistakes mm hmmm, I

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Speaker 3: mean they're not mine.

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Speaker 2: I mean, like I feel.

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Speaker 3: As though I'm sad that you had to experience those

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Speaker 3: mistakes because I think that some mistakes that you've experienced

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Speaker 3: or made were ones that had consequences that were not

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Speaker 3: the most fabulous or pleasant.

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Speaker 2: You know, obviously, like when you make a mistake or

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Speaker 2: you make a choice, you can't always foresee what the

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Speaker 2: future is going to be. That's why we make.

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Speaker 3: Choices and make decisions, and then you know, you make

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Speaker 3: me the one once the outcome happens. But I'm because

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Speaker 3: I've seen the consequences of your mistakes so far, I

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Speaker 3: know to not make those same choices.

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Speaker 1: I'm a single parent, as you know, I'm your single mom.

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Speaker 1: As I know I'm yes, I present to you as

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Speaker 1: the both the mother and you have it. You have

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Speaker 1: a dad, but as I present to you as the

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Speaker 1: mother and the father, so I take care of you.

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Speaker 1: I'm your provider, I'm your I'm your I'm your rock.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm you know, we love, we love your dad,

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Speaker 1: and we understand my mother very very good.

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Speaker 2: At and my dad is my dad like I have

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Speaker 2: a father. You're not like a.

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Speaker 1: Father, yes, but you have me as your parent. So

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Speaker 1: let's talk about like some mistakes because I'm actually really

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Speaker 1: curious and I think this is a talk about them.

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Speaker 1: Why not talk about them with on a podcast that's

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Speaker 1: really helped me to be a better version of myself.

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Speaker 1: So I love that what kind of mistakes have I made?

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Speaker 1: Don't make me cry?

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Speaker 3: I think you've made mistakes in your romantic partners before.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think that your biggest mistake is you don't.

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Speaker 3: I think something you can still learn from is that

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Speaker 3: you need to when someone tells you this is wrong.

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Speaker 3: I think this is a bad choice. I think this

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Speaker 3: is a bad person. Whatever, it's be wise to listen

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Speaker 3: to them, because obviously I think that it's a big

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's a big thing to say to someone

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Speaker 3: because in everyday life, when someone tells you that's a

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Speaker 3: bad choice, you'd be like, what do you know? You're

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Speaker 3: not mean, you're not living my life, you don't know

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Speaker 3: my experience, you don't know me.

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Speaker 2: No one knows you better than yourself. But I think

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Speaker 2: that listening to friends and family.

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Speaker 3: Or you know, hey, this person is not a great

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Speaker 3: choice for you. Knowing that people who love and care

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Speaker 3: about you are telling you to lead this person, maybe

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Speaker 3: that should.

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Speaker 2: Be something that you should listen to more in life.

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Speaker 3: Like if people say don't do it, you shouldn't be like,

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Speaker 3: what do you know?

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Speaker 2: You're not me. You could be like, why do you

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Speaker 2: say that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like, oh my god, let me be a

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Speaker 1: martyr because I need to be a martyr. I'm not

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Speaker 1: like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's martyrdom though. I think it's just

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Speaker 3: you know, making a choice. For example, you know, you

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Speaker 3: you you had a romantic partner when I was younger,

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Speaker 3: friends and family told you maybe this is not a

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Speaker 3: good choice, you know, and instead of necessarily saying, you

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Speaker 3: know what, I'm going to listen to what you have

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Speaker 3: to say, why do you say this to you, were

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Speaker 3: just like I'm gonna continue doing this instead. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't saying anything because I was younger, But I

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Speaker 3: think that, like, if you had listened to those people

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Speaker 3: at that time, you wouldn't have made so many mistakes

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Speaker 3: later when I say that you've made mistakes, and what

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Speaker 3: I mean is that, you know, I think that you have.

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Speaker 3: I think in romantic situations, I think that you either

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Speaker 3: give someone way too many chances or you give them

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Speaker 3: like no leash at all, and you don't, like you

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Speaker 3: like the tiniest thing. You're like, oh my god, I

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Speaker 3: hate that I'm writing them off, and it's like whoa

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Speaker 3: you know, you know, he used.

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Speaker 2: The wrong fork at dinner. I mean actually pretty bad.

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Speaker 2: But whatever.

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Speaker 3: No, that's a different thing, because I think i'd be like,

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Speaker 3: there are your manners, but no, but not everyone knows

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Speaker 3: about you know, table manners. And then not using the

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Speaker 3: right fork at dinner. But it's a tiny fork, solid fork.

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Speaker 2: Hello.

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Speaker 1: No, no, But what you were saying about about picking

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Speaker 1: and choosing people and giving them too many chances, I

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Speaker 1: think too that one of the things that I was

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Speaker 1: doing is that although I was saying and presenting myself

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Speaker 1: saying that I was looking for someone to share my

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Speaker 1: life with and to when I you know, I mean

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Speaker 1: from you know, from like from the minute I got divorced,

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I want a better

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Speaker 1: life for my girls. I want a better life for

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Speaker 1: my girls. And that's always what I wanted. And I

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Speaker 1: was so concerned that you guys would not have a

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Speaker 1: better life than what my parents gave to me that

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Speaker 1: I didn't see men for actually for who they were.

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Speaker 1: I was so laser focused on you guys and providing

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Speaker 1: for you that, you know, if they were the nicest guy,

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Speaker 1: I didn't see them. If they were the worst guy,

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Speaker 1: I didn't see them like I literally did not see

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Speaker 1: who they were. I mean, people would make mistakes or

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Speaker 1: they would do things, and I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't I wasn't present, I wasn't available. I

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Speaker 1: was So you know how they talk about like, you know,

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Speaker 1: dating unavailable guys, Well, these all the guys that I

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Speaker 1: was going on dates with or I was in relationships

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Speaker 1: were with a highly unavailable woman. And that was me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but I think that you also know.

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Speaker 2: I know you know, my mom, I'm aware. I think

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Speaker 2: that you.

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Speaker 3: Have this idea of what your perfect person is in

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Speaker 3: your brain and you.

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Speaker 2: See yourself as like you're like, Okay, this is me

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Speaker 2: and this is what I want.

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Speaker 3: And I'm fifty seven, fifty seven, and I feel like

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Speaker 3: I've lived this long, and I've waited this long. I

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Speaker 3: still should have exactly what I want. I should be

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Speaker 3: able to have my cake, I should be able to

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Speaker 3: eat it, and I should be able to share with everybody.

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Speaker 2: And in reality, that's not the way life works.

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Speaker 3: That's not where the way romance works, and that's not

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Speaker 3: the way finding a partner works.

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Speaker 2: I'm a firm believer.

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Speaker 3: In like you, I always sew like my friends like

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Speaker 3: and I'm even tell you this all the time, where

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Speaker 3: it's like you have to think of your perfect person

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Speaker 3: and your brain and say, like you're ten things or

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Speaker 3: twenty things that you want in your perfect person, whether

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Speaker 3: it's physical traits, like intellectual traits, emotional traits, mental traits,

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Speaker 3: all these things. Put them on on a piece of

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Speaker 3: paper and then like cut them in and like cut

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Speaker 3: a third of them away and like get take off

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Speaker 3: like a third of them, be like okay. And that's

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Speaker 3: more of a reality of like what people are. Because

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Speaker 3: if you're expecting to have your perfect person, then you

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Speaker 3: need to understand that you would eat to be.

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Speaker 2: Saying that you are a perfect person. Or I always

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Speaker 2: say to you, think.

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Speaker 3: Of your ideal man and then think of his ideal woman,

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Speaker 3: and are you that person?

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Speaker 1: I love that. I love that when you say that.

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Speaker 1: So if you're talking about my dear deal man, and

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Speaker 1: I think, I love you so much and I really

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Speaker 1: appreciate you saying those beautiful things. What what do you

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Speaker 1: think are three to five things that you think that

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Speaker 1: I kind of what kind of three to five characteristics

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Speaker 1: that you think that I needed a man.

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Speaker 3: I think you need someone who is patient. I think

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Speaker 3: you need someone who is understanding and someone who is intelligent.

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Speaker 1: I love that is that three understanding of what that's

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Speaker 1: three understanding of what my emotions, understanding of the world,

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Speaker 1: like understanding understanding.

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Speaker 3: Of like you and your experiences and like Like an

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Speaker 3: understanding person doesn't mean that they understand a certain thing,

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Speaker 3: but they're willing to They're not the kind of someone

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Speaker 3: who's understanding is not going to be like you say, X,

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Speaker 3: y Z thing happens.

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Speaker 2: They're not going to react immediately.

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Speaker 3: They're going to think about all these other things and

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Speaker 3: all these other factors, and then they're going to make

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Speaker 3: a judgment after. It's just someone who's not really reactive,

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Speaker 3: and they are very much so the kind of person

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Speaker 3: who looked at the bigger picture and looks at it

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Speaker 3: and takes everything else and puts it together to make

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Speaker 3: their decision.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because I, you know, one of

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Speaker 1: the So there's two things that I that happened when

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Speaker 1: I when I go on a date. The first thing

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Speaker 1: is that they asked me about Scary Island. Not like

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Speaker 1: what happened. So I'm like, Okay, obviously.

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Speaker 3: Why are you dating men that know about what scary Island?

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Speaker 3: I couldn't even tell you what happened on Scary Island.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't tell you what happened.

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Speaker 1: I actually like it because it means that they have

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Speaker 1: a genuine interest in me. So I think that's kind of.

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Speaker 2: Ish.

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Speaker 1: And the second thing they asked me is oh my god, like,

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Speaker 1: you're so busy on social and you're in you know,

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Speaker 1: you're like, what do you do for a living?

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Speaker 2: Where are you finding these people?

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Speaker 1: It's just that's just how people. That's how men in

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Speaker 1: their fifties, that's how they respond. That's what they's maybe

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Speaker 1: go from a man in his sixties.

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Speaker 3: This is bizarre, mom. I'm not kidding. If a man

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Speaker 3: like that would be shocking to me. If I went

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Speaker 3: on a date with someone and they were like, how

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Speaker 3: was this big fight that you had with people?

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Speaker 2: I would be like, what do you what do you talking?

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Speaker 1: Can you remember that I'm in my fifties so it's

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Speaker 1: like we're the same age. So they're kind of trying

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Speaker 1: to ask me things that are really like relatable. That's

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Speaker 1: what they're trying to do.

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Speaker 3: I don't think that would be these are that would

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Speaker 3: be I think it's the red flag if they're like, hey,

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Speaker 3: how was going on scary Island you. I would be like, what,

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Speaker 3: like I've that would be shocking to me. Mom, I'm

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Speaker 3: in my twenties. I've never had a guy on any

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Speaker 3: date ever asked me what it was like to have.

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Speaker 2: A parent be on a Bravo show I love you well.

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Speaker 2: They don't even ask me about, like, are you close

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Speaker 2: to your parents?

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Speaker 3: I'm like yeah, and they're like, okay, great, because one

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Speaker 3: part of you on a TV show is so like that,

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Speaker 3: if that even part of you even still exists in

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Speaker 3: you right now, it's so small and insignificant. It's stupid

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Speaker 3: to me that that would even be a question that

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Speaker 3: someone would ask, And they need to be gone.

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Speaker 1: Teddy Beautiful.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, that's bizarre.

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Speaker 1: So what do you think about the men I've dated recently?

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts?

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Speaker 2: I like them, the ones that I've met, I like.

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Speaker 1: So you think I'm making better choices, absolutely, even the

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Speaker 1: ones that cheat, cheat is going cheat.

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Speaker 2: I think that.

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Speaker 1: You're okay with cheaters.

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Speaker 2: Who is okay with cheaters?

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Speaker 1: No one, no one.

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Speaker 2: I'm not okay with cheaters.

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Speaker 3: Like I feel as though when you cheat in the

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Speaker 3: legitimate cheating way, that is hideous and that is the

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Speaker 3: worst thing you could Like, I know for a fact

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Speaker 3: that if I got cheated on, I would be I

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Speaker 3: would be so upset. If I was truly in love

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Speaker 3: with that person, I'd be so upset with them number one,

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Speaker 3: because I'd be like, you ruin this forever, I'll never

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Speaker 3: be able to ever trust you again and will never

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Speaker 3: be able to together.

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Speaker 2: It's done.

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Speaker 1: Like I know that myself to be transparent with you.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons why I do have such

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Speaker 1: a guard up when it comes to dating, is because

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Speaker 1: I have been cheated on so much, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I put you guys first, and I'm a you know

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Speaker 1: outside you know, in my business world, I wore my

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Speaker 1: business hat. But when it's family time, as you know,

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Speaker 1: it's all family, all you guys.

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Speaker 3: And plus the phone, the phone is a family member.

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Speaker 3: That's my other sister, that's your stepsister. Yeah, she's evil.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm.

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Speaker 1: Always on the phone texting is because I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be calling. I didn't want to be talking on

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Speaker 1: the phone with you guys, And that's why I would

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Speaker 1: text all the time. It's because I didn't want you

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Speaker 1: guys to think that I wasn't listening to you.

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Speaker 2: But you weren't. You were texting on the phone.

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Speaker 1: Always listening. I listened to everything you think. You think

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Speaker 1: I don't listen to what you're saying. I listened to

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Speaker 1: absolutely wem.

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Speaker 2: I will ask you.

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Speaker 3: You'll be on the phone or whatever, and I'll say, Mom,

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Speaker 3: what I just say? You say one second? And I'll say,

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Speaker 3: I never said one second?

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Speaker 1: My favorite one you guys, Mom'm getting a tattoo. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I see, see, why are you getta gettato? Why is

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Speaker 1: that I'm getting tattooed?

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Speaker 2: See?

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Speaker 3: Always will do the craziest thing whenever you're on the

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Speaker 3: phone ignoring us. She will be like, okay, let's say,

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Speaker 3: what's the craziest thing I could say to upset her?

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Speaker 2: Right? I'm like, she doesn't even care tattoo.

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Speaker 3: She's like, I'm going to get tattoo on my forehead

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Speaker 3: of you know something inside?

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Speaker 1: How do you how do you like?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: Tell how do you feel about? How do you feel

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Speaker 1: when I introduce you two different two men? How do

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Speaker 1: you feel? How does it make you feel?

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like I should I never really care. I'm

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Speaker 3: like trying to be nice and friendly, and I was like, hey,

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Speaker 3: how are you?

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Speaker 2: But I also it's never I.

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Speaker 3: Think it is because I'm you know, I'm twenty Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I just turned twenty five.

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty five now weird.

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Speaker 1: But like, how did you know when you were younger?

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Speaker 1: How did you know that it was someone that I

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Speaker 1: liked what I met them? But how did you know

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Speaker 1: that I was them? I mean, you met a lot

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Speaker 1: of men from like I mean there I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of males that are like you know a lot

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Speaker 1: of I mean, I work with a lot of gay men.

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Speaker 3: I was aware of they were gay. Mom, I wasn't

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Speaker 3: thinking that broadly. Your hairdresser who I was, clearly he

328
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Speaker 3: was clearly gay. I wasn't like, are you getting my mom?

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Speaker 3: Like I was aware. I knew, you explained to me,

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Speaker 3: and I knew.

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Speaker 1: Do you miss? Is there anyone that I dated that

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Speaker 1: you miss?

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Speaker 2: Can I say the name?

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Speaker 1: Well, you can't say their name, but you can describe them.

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Speaker 3: They were someone you went to college with Columbia and they.

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Speaker 2: Are my favorite always?

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, he's so.

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Speaker 3: Because also Grandpa loved him so much, and Grandma loved

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Speaker 3: him so much, and everyone in the family loves him.

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Speaker 1: What do you like about him?

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Speaker 3: He is I think my biggest thing with him was

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Speaker 3: just like he's such a family oriented guy in the

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Speaker 3: way where it's like he loves he loves you, but

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Speaker 3: he also loves our family and he loves me like see,

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Speaker 3: he loves me, he loves like he knows and love

346
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Speaker 3: or loved Grandpa and Grandma, and he knows like your

347
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 3: siblings and your siblings all like him. And I found

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Speaker 3: him to be like super fun and like lighthearted, but

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Speaker 3: also I don't know, I just feel like he really

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Speaker 3: fit in. And I thought he was a really good

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Speaker 3: match for you. And I like how I liked the

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Speaker 3: person you were.

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Speaker 2: When you were with him.

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Speaker 3: I obviously love you always, but I think that he

355
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Speaker 3: brought out a really good side of you.

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Speaker 1: So when I when I broke up with him or

357
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Speaker 1: when we stopped dating, is.

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Speaker 2: So mad at you? I was so mad. I was like, Mom, how.

359
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Speaker 1: Did you find out? How did I tell you?

360
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Speaker 2: You told me? I was like, where is he? We

361
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Speaker 2: should go?

362
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Speaker 3: Because he didn't live here, didn't he didn't leave all

363
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 3: the time, he like lived here, and then he moved

364
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 3: back because he was done working whatever he's doing here.

365
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 3: He moved back, and I was like, oh, when are

366
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 3: we seeing him again or whatever, and you were like, uh,

367
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Speaker 3: I guess I don't know. Whenever you want. I was like,

368
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 3: what do you mean, what do you mean whenever I want?

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Speaker 2: Like that?

370
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,280
Speaker 3: Why is it in my court? And you were like,

371
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Speaker 3: we're all not seeing hither anyone. I was like why,

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Speaker 3: and he told me and I was like, that's a

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Speaker 3: stupid answer.

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Speaker 1: He's such a great guy. He's such a great guy.

375
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Speaker 1: And you know, again, I am looking for consistency too.

376
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Speaker 1: So it's like, just because he's a great guy doesn't

377
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Speaker 1: mean that he's consistent.

378
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,360
Speaker 2: Well, not everyone's consistent in life. Are you consistent?

379
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 1: I'm pretty consistent, pretty clousten. I have like I have

380
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Speaker 1: one I have like one path that I follow and

381
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Speaker 1: then sometimes I go off of it a little bit.

382
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Speaker 2: But so that's not being consistent. You literally we're like,

383
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Speaker 2: I'm consistent. I do one thing all the time, but

384
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Speaker 2: sometimes I don't do that thing.

385
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Speaker 1: I think that what I really liked about him as well,

386
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Speaker 1: and what I and what you liked is that, yes,

387
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 1: he's super family oriented, which is something that's super important

388
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 1: to you and I and to your sisters see it,

389
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 1: and to my parents, and I know the most will

390
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: say that was like that is something that lacks with

391
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Speaker 1: a lot of men that I that I have dated,

392
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,399
Speaker 1: is that they just aren't family oriented. They just are

393
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 1: feeling gorgeous and think that you know, they're going to

394
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 1: be you know, loving, you know what they think that

395
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:32,000
Speaker 1: they're they're attaching themselves to some kind of like you know,

396
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,880
Speaker 1: Disney movie and we're real life, and it's just very

397
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,360
Speaker 1: you know sometimes it's really it makes me very sad

398
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: because I can see that they are not taking the

399
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: relationship seriously and that they want to just be like

400
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 1: with Kelly Bensma, which is really well.

401
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 2: I hear that. I'm not gonna lie.

402
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 3: I don't want to burst your bub and I don't

403
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 3: want to expose you every single guy you've dated, besides

404
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 3: obviously because Dad is different, every since guy you've dated,

405
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,640
Speaker 3: the reason why you broke up with them or things

406
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 3: I ended was because you said they weren't interested in

407
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 3: dating me. They were interested in dating tell you Bensmom

408
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 3: every time. And I know what it's like to feel

409
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 3: like you've been used like people will. I've had people

410
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 3: use me, try to use me for my parents my

411
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 3: whole life. I literally had to end up end the

412
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 3: friendship two months ago because I found out.

413
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: That per person was trying to use me or.

414
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 3: Was whatever, like that was upsetting and disappointing and people

415
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 3: are going to do that, but I can't. And I

416
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: was actually talking to somebody o the day and I

417
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 3: was saying, she was like, oh, why are you so

418
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 3: because when people first meet me, I'm pretty closed off.

419
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 3: I always said, like I never I don't like anyone.

420
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 2: I don't know.

421
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 3: That's what I always say. And she was saying, she's like,

422
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 3: you can't be like that. You need to be more

423
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 3: open people. And I explained to her. I was like, well,

424
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 3: I just immediately seen that someone's going to try to

425
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,959
Speaker 3: use me for my parents or whatever.

426
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 2: And she was And then when I explained that to her,

427
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 2: and she's like, actually, that makes sense because like my parents,

428
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 2: no one's trying to use me for my parents, and

429
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,120
Speaker 2: like that's just the tea. Obviously.

430
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 3: There are some friends that I have and people that

431
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 3: I know, a lot of people that I know that

432
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 3: I never was scared about that because I've known them

433
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 3: for so long. Most people from New York, I'm like,

434
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 3: you guys don't care, so it doesn't really matter. My

435
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 3: friend from high school, my friends from like my childhood friends,

436
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 3: my friends from life, some of my friends from college,

437
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:24,959
Speaker 3: like whatever.

438
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 2: But I think that it's a negative.

439
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 3: It's a bad way to live life when you immediately

440
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 3: assume that everybody wants to use you or everyone wants

441
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 3: things from you. Some people will want to use you

442
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 3: and some people will want things from you. That's just

443
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 3: the way life is. Not everyone's a good person, and

444
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 3: I don't think you should assume everybody's a good person,

445
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 3: but you shouldn't always assume that they're a bad person.

446
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 2: And it's not like.

447
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 3: It's either you say that they're you always say they're

448
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 3: either using you or wanted to take Kelly Bensimon, not

449
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: you know Kelly or whatever Kiki. And they are competitive

450
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 3: with you, like they want to be you, which I think.

451
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 1: Is it's true. It's very very strange and competitive, Like

452
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 1: I don't mean like competitive like they want to, you know,

453
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,919
Speaker 1: run down the street and embrace me. Competitive like to

454
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: see like how many how many women they've dated, or

455
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 1: how many women look at them at a restaurant or

456
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 1: it's very really really off putting.

457
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 3: Do you find yourself on dates talking about men being

458
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 3: attracted to a lot and a lot of men find

459
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 3: you attractive and like being you know, sexy, never okay,

460
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 3: because then I would say.

461
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 1: So when it comes to dating, what kind of questions

462
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: do you think that I should be asking them?

463
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 2: Like you should be asking if you could go to

464
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: dinner with anybody dead? Who?

465
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 3: Who do you want to go to breakfast but that's dead?

466
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 3: Who do you want to go to lunch with that's dead?

467
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 3: And who do you want to go to dinner with

468
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 3: that's dead? And who do you want to get a

469
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 3: drink with after dinner that is dead?

470
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 2: Who is dead? Sorry I said that people that are

471
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 2: lying that's wrong. Well you can't.

472
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 3: I like I would be like, oh my gosh, I

473
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 3: want to go to I want to have breakfast with

474
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 3: like Napoleon, right, maybe I'll have breakfast Julius Caesar.

475
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure. Maybe better breakfast time, Teddy Roosevelt's

476
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: getting lunchtime. For sure.

477
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 1: I whenever I go on a date with anyone, I

478
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: find out so much about them and not like you know,

479
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: you know, when I when I started the podcast, they

480
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 1: were like, okay, ask about like how many wives they've had,

481
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: why they broke up? And I'm just like, you know

482
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: what that'll be an organic conversation that they'll so I

483
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 1: just asked them questions about themselves. Every single guy that

484
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: I've ever gone into a date with my first day

485
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: has said the exact same thing.

486
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 2: But do you always.

487
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: Only person that's ever asked me about myself? That what

488
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 1: didn't feel like an interview? And I'm thinking to myself, Okay, well,

489
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: these guys are you, but like what about Like, yeah,

490
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm glad that they're feeling gorgeous. That's really nice for us.

491
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 3: Well, I think that are you going on dates with

492
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 3: these people? Are you dating to marry or are you

493
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 3: damed just find a partner.

494
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: So when when you guys were younger, I would just

495
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: go on dates to go on date.

496
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 3: When you were younger, you were going on dates and

497
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 3: then you want to find a husband at some point.

498
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 1: I know this in my mind. When you guys were younger,

499
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: I would I would say to myself things like when

500
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: I was doing my headstands that like the things that

501
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 1: I was grateful for are obviously the wellness of my parents,

502
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 1: and the wellness of you guys, and the wellness of

503
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: the relationship of my future relationship with my husband, like that,

504
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 1: those are the things that I would always say I

505
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 1: would always be grateful for when I was doing head stands,

506
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: always constant. I clearly did not date anyone that I

507
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 1: would that was marriage material, That's for sure.

508
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 2: Did people who are.

509
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 3: Marriage material, you just sometimes would leave them. I couldn't

510
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 3: name like five of them who I think would be

511
00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 3: great husbands.

512
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 1: I was a big real I love that five men.

513
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 2: See and I have ranked them. We've gone through the list.

514
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 2: This was number one.

515
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 3: Our number ones are different, but we're we have pretty

516
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 3: similar lists overall. Right, But I think that you now,

517
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 3: I feel like you're still talking about like your future husband.

518
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 3: I am a pretty traditional person. I was like, I

519
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 3: want to get married and I want to have children,

520
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 3: and obviously don't want to get divorced. But if divorce

521
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 3: is the thing, whatever you know, you move, you shake,

522
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 3: you move forward, you try to do you pay it.

523
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 1: Why is it that you have that person? No but serious?

524
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 1: Why is it that you feel like that about divorce

525
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 1: Because a lot of kids had such you know they

526
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: have they have so much emotional baggage associated with their divorce.

527
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: Do you feel like do you feel like the divorce

528
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: that your dad and I have?

529
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 2: What know what you guys like.

530
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 3: Because I was so young already, I have no memory

531
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 3: of my parents being together, so I was never like, well, well.

532
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 2: Got my parents were together, because I was like, my

533
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: parents are never together. Hello. I was just like, Okay,

534
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,879
Speaker 2: my mom's here, my dad lives here, and that's the vibe,

535
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 2: and that was it.

536
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that, but I think that you

537
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 3: are still looking for like a husband, even though you're

538
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 3: not going to have children with a man anymore.

539
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 2: You're not you can't have kids anymore. Sorry, you can't.

540
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 3: I'm saying, just like, like, obviously, romance is a thing, but

541
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 3: I think that if you don't share children with someone,

542
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: you don't need to marry with them.

543
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 2: I think for now you could. Just what you're looking

544
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 2: for is who do I like? Who is this person.

545
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 3: Who's my life partner? Obviously, if I hate the guy,

546
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 3: that's a problem. If she hates the guy, that's a problem.

547
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 3: Like we've seen before. If he doesn't like someone, maybe

548
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 3: we should listen to her. But I think that bottom line,

549
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 3: you need to look for a life partner and someone

550
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 3: that you can like, live and grow oled with. Like,

551
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 3: think about when you are no longer this you know,

552
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 3: Diba that you see as yourself now and when you, you know,

553
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: are old.

554
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 2: And you can't do anything, you can't you maybe you

555
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: are like we'll be in a wheelchair.

556
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: I don't know that's for my future.

557
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 2: No, I'm not.

558
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 3: I just like I think that, like you need to

559
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 3: think about like a long term and that in his way,

560
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 3: like I I think that you need to get out

561
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 3: of New York because clearly you know everyone in New York.

562
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 3: It's a very small town. I know everyone in New York.

563
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 3: I'm twenty five. I'm like, I don't want to know

564
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 3: any of you anymore. Maybe look somewhere else.

565
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 2: But I feel like you want to be with that

566
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: person all the time. I don't know why. I feel

567
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 2: like you want to be like in the same I can't.

568
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not. I can't do a long distance

569
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: like I mean, especially now.

570
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 2: That I'm no problem.

571
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: But Teddy, I'm like living in my own apartment for

572
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 1: my for the first time in how many years? Almost

573
00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 1: twenty five years, twenty six years, Okay, and I miss

574
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: you every day, by the way, I miss you.

575
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 2: No Miami, by the way, No Miami, You're not getting

576
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 2: a guy from Miami. You're not getting a guy from

577
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,120
Speaker 2: you can date a guy from Actually, no, you can't

578
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: date a politician. You'd be the worst politician's wife.

579
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: Why why would.

580
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 2: I have you chat and also the politician.

581
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 3: Honestly, if you're dating a politician or you're marrying a politician,

582
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 3: they need to be the star. You clearly want to

583
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: be the star. You need to be the star.

584
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 2: You cannot be like You're.

585
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: Like, I want to be the star of or relationship.

586
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: You think I'm the peacock.

587
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 3: You are the peacock. You think you're not the peacock.

588
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 3: Delusions of grandeur. Mom, you are the peacock. I love you.

589
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: So Basically, I need to look for people that aren't

590
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: stealing my life.

591
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 2: No, why why do you think everyone's taking something from you?

592
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: Because they do.

593
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 2: No, you need to say someone.

594
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 3: I want someone to to support me and be there

595
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 3: for me and be a cheerleader.

596
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, how about with my business.

597
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 1: Here's a business card for your for your friend at

598
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: the Dick's game. I'm like, what are you doing? Like

599
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: did you just give that person business card? Have you

600
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: ever seen me? Hold on?

601
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: Hold on?

602
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen me solicit for real estate in public? Ever?

603
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 3: What does that even know? And that's like a weird

604
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 3: way to put things. By the way, thank you, Okay.

605
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: But that reference what you just made, I get it.

606
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: That person was not for us. We know.

607
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: Next no soliciting a solictening in public.

608
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 3: My firm believer mom, that you need to stop, like

609
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 3: you need to obviously you've had these many experiences with

610
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 3: all these different guys or whatever.

611
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: Many experiences different that was like hideous you've did' that.

612
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 2: Was horrible like that?

613
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 3: Likel No, you've dated some people.

614
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: Okay, I have dated and people.

615
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: But I think that you do.

616
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 3: This thing where you take the baggage from the first

617
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 3: this relationship and you bring it.

618
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 2: Into the next one like I do a very new person.

619
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 2: This person could.

620
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,959
Speaker 3: Be like the best guy on the planet, and you like,

621
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 3: assuming that he's the worst is not going to be great.

622
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: Well, I don't like the whole idea of trauma bonding.

623
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: So when a guy says to me, my my eggs white,

624
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: how horrible my life?

625
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 2: But that's not trauma bonding. They're trying to open up

626
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 2: to you. Men can be emotional, men can cry.

627
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 3: If men have have hardships and they're like, hey, I

628
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 3: had this really tough time.

629
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: I don't want a trauma bond. I don't want them

630
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: to be.

631
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 3: Like trauma bonding is when you are doing going through

632
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 3: something hard together and then you truma you bond.

633
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: But I feel like, but I'm using trauma bond like

634
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: they have a trauma. This how they how it's used

635
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 1: in a relationship is like one person has a trauma,

636
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: the other person has a trauma, and so they try

637
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: to like bond.

638
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: But that's the way of connecting with people.

639
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 3: Like there's so many people like that have like so

640
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: many of my friends or like I've only by the way,

641
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: I've only dated guys that have divorced parents.

642
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 2: Why why why? Because I don't know if they come

643
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: to me, I don't know. No, I don't know, no

644
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 2: idea why. But I've literally any guy I like dated

645
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 2: or like really like because they're.

646
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 3: No I think that I don't know why, but I

647
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 3: think that also like to bond over a shared experience,

648
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 3: Like Okay, you know what it's like to have divorced parents.

649
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 2: Do you know what it's like to raise your to

650
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 2: be divorced?

651
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 3: You know what it's like to have kids with a

652
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: different whatever, and like deal with that situation, Like those

653
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 3: are it's not trauma bonding and it's not with them

654
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 3: like try to manipulate you.

655
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 2: It's a way to connect. Oh, we we have this

656
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 2: shared experience.

657
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 1: So what if I met a guy who was living

658
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: in another state and.

659
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: I moved where? What? Move? Where? Would state?

660
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 3: Move?

661
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 1: Move where? I don't know. I'm just wondering, like how

662
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: you would feel?

663
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 2: Like, are you moving to like Massachusetts? That's not happening.

664
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: No, I'm just wondering, like how you could you.

665
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 2: See yourself living in any other state? By the way,

666
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: I feel like you do not belong anywhere but New York.

667
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: I love California. I love the lifestyle of California. I

668
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: love it. I've never lived there. I've never lived there.

669
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 3: I think New York is a hard place to like.

670
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 3: New York City is like a hard place to grow old.

671
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 3: Sorry to bring it up again. I don't know why bring

672
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 3: it out.

673
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: That's a main me.

674
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: What kind of guy do you think I should be with?

675
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 3: I think you need someone who I think Are you

676
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 3: saying what I think you want or what I think

677
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 3: you need?

678
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: What do you think I need? First of all, what

679
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: do you think I need? And then I want to

680
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: hear what you think I want.

681
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 3: I think you need someone who is maybe ten years

682
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 3: your senior, ten years, maybe sixty seven even maybe even

683
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 3: like like literally or even seventy.

684
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: Okay, no joke, I'm sorry.

685
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 3: I think you need someone who's older because I feel

686
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: like you obviously were married to dad who was way.

687
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 2: Older than you at the time. We're so older than

688
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 2: he was now, but like it was like he was

689
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 2: double your age.

690
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 3: At the time, and you got engaged or were first

691
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 3: seeing each other now so, and then after the divorce

692
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: you're like, I'm only gonna with the guys who are

693
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: younger than me. But you need to realize, like you were,

694
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 3: you were doing guys who were younger than you, ten

695
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 3: years younger than five years anger than you, and you

696
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 3: were seeing these guys who were not developed mentally like anyway,

697
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 3: like when like I think that the older say, well,

698
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 3: I mean you did. I mean at some point you

699
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 3: were dating a guy who was in his twenties before

700
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 3: his frontal lobe was developed.

701
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: Men's front hold lobes development when they're twenty eight.

702
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: Very nice human, Oh my god, beautiful human.

703
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: Well not, that's not the one I'm talking about.

704
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 1: I've talked about that though. He's a beautiful human.

705
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 3: I'm talking by the other one pre him, but there

706
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 3: are so many different Like I think that you really

707
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 3: should be with someone who's older than you, at least

708
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 3: ten years, because they are older and they have lived

709
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 3: life and they have experiences and they know that, like

710
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 3: they knew what they want.

711
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: Let's just whold on, let's just clarify it, because I

712
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: don't want that because when I was you know, I was,

713
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: I was divorced when I was in my like, so

714
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: when I was dating someone in there late twenties, that

715
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: didn't seem like so.

716
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: No, yeah, it was like thirty.

717
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: Seven twenties there, Like it sounds like you're like.

718
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 2: My reference was thirty seven to twenty seven.

719
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: You try to make me into like Caroline Sansbury, Like.

720
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 3: Now I'm not even sure who that is, but thirty

721
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 3: seven to twenty seven that was the thing, and twenty

722
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 3: seven is one.

723
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 2: Year before twenty eight. That's what I was referencing.

724
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: By the way, everybody, okay, but yeah, I don't hear it.

725
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 2: Whatever.

726
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 3: I think that you need someone who's older. I think

727
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 3: you need someone who is.

728
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 2: Athletic, like likes to like, likes to ski, likes to

729
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:37,879
Speaker 2: do things that you like to.

730
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 3: Do, but I think you need someone who is the

731
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 3: exact opposite of you.

732
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 2: They are interested in.

733
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:52,439
Speaker 3: They're interested in science and maths, or they work in

734
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 3: or they worked in.

735
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 2: Maybe someone who's retired, you.

736
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 3: Know, someone who doesn't work anymore and they just want

737
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 3: to like have a slow vibe or they have they're

738
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 3: not working anymore, but they're still actively doing things. I

739
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 3: think you need someone who's philanthropic. I think what you

740
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 3: actually need is someone who's a little bit more than

741
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 3: what you are in every single thing, Like someone who's

742
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 3: a little bit smarter than you, someone who's a little

743
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: bit more film topic than anymore, someone who's a little

744
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,720
Speaker 3: bit more a family person, someone who's like almost better

745
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: than you what every single thing that you pride yourself

746
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 3: as being good at or whatever. Because I feel like

747
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 3: that's the only way you'll actually respect that person is

748
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 3: if there's when you can actually look up to and

749
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 3: learn from. Because it feels like whenever you've had someone

750
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 3: who's not as much as you are in any certain

751
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 3: kind of way, you are like.

752
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how do you not know they're so

753
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 2: not whatever? Do you know what I mean?

754
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 1: Maybe someone someone that is a little bit better than

755
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: not like who's.

756
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 3: Better than you, but like you know, can kind of

757
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 3: one up you, like a one up basically.

758
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 2: I don't know.

759
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 3: I think that that's the way, like the way that

760
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 3: you think. I don't really sometimes I understand your brain,

761
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 3: but I think that that's what you would need.

762
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 2: And I think maybe someone who has grandkids.

763
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I feel like the one that

764
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 3: you respect someone is because someone if they are so

765
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 3: you even it's better than you, which is a weird way.

766
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 2: But I don't know why you're like that, but I

767
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 2: think maybe something who eyes like they have they have

768
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 2: kids that are older where it's like they're older than me,

769
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 2: like kids in their thirties and they have children.

770
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,280
Speaker 1: I ask when on my first on the first dates,

771
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 1: like I ask these questions to you know, the guys

772
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to dates with, because I do want to

773
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: learn from them. I do want to I do want

774
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: them to teach me new things and to teach me

775
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 1: how to be better and teach me, you know, just

776
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: teach me new things. And I it's and I I

777
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes it's like I'm always the one that's

778
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: kind of nurturing them or like that's where like I

779
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 1: fall onto that trap where but I.

780
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 2: Think you like to nurture, you are like a mother.

781
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,240
Speaker 1: I want to be I want someone to I genuinely tenny.

782
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: I want obviously the first thing. I just want to

783
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: be loved like hands, like really genuinely loved, like not

784
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: how not, like you know, fake love, like real love.

785
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: Then I want to be protected. I want someone to

786
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: protect me. I want someone to protect me. I want

787
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 1: someone I want to feel like they have my back.

788
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 1: And I don't feel like a lot of men have

789
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 1: my back. I feel like the men that I've dated

790
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: in the past are always looking to the side to

791
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,800
Speaker 1: see what I can bring to them or what's around

792
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 1: the corner for them. And I'm being honest, okay, and

793
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: it really hurts. I mean I'm you know, that's hurtful.

794
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 2: That's horrible.

795
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: I make a lot of fun about it, but it

796
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: really hurts, and it really hurts my feelings when like,

797
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: for example, like I'll never forget like when I was

798
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 1: in Scary Island and I was filming Scary Island and

799
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: I was just like this, these people are this is

800
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: this is this is bad news. This is not gonna

801
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 1: be this is not going to farewell. And so after

802
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: I left, I literally broke up with the guy that

803
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: I was dating, who was such a nice person. And

804
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 1: I broke up with him because I was just like,

805
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: this is not going to be good for you.

806
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 2: Did I meet that guy?

807
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:19,799
Speaker 1: Yes?

808
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 2: Was he cooking things?

809
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:22,720
Speaker 1: Yes?

810
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 2: I think that that guy was not meant I mean loved.

811
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 2: He was so nice.

812
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if he was like great for me

813
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 1: or not. I broke up with him because I was like,

814
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 1: I need to protect myself and I need to protect him,

815
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 1: and I don't want to do that. I want to

816
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 1: protect a man. I want them to protect me. I

817
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: want them to be like, you know, whatever is happening,

818
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, kid, I've got this.

819
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: But I feel like you've met guys who are like that.

820
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 3: Oh you you dated guys who are like that, who

821
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 3: are willing to protect you all these things. I think

822
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 3: that if you want to.

823
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: Be good to see them like that. Maybe we want to.

824
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 2: Be loved, mom, Everyone wants to be loved. I want

825
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:56,760
Speaker 2: to be loved.

826
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: I love love love.

827
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 3: I loved you love people. Okay, loving is being loving people.

828
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 3: Sharing your love, showing people how much you love them

829
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: is one of the most like It literally is like

830
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:11,399
Speaker 3: an adrenaline rush when you like, are you know, are

831
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 3: are you? You're in the moment of, you know, showing

832
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 3: one of your love languages to somebody. It's like when

833
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 3: you feel like you're giving somebody else love. It's such

834
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 3: a it's such an amazing feeling to love somebody romantically

835
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 3: or platonically and to share that love with them.

836
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 2: It's one of the best feelings.

837
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,720
Speaker 1: All right, what do you think my love languages?

838
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,879
Speaker 2: I think it love languages gift giving I do.

839
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 1: I love to give gifts, not because.

840
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 2: But it's not always about a big price. I think

841
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 2: it's also like, hey, I thought about.

842
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,760
Speaker 1: I just love to do something for someone. Most people

843
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: when they gift give gifts, they buy things. When I

844
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 1: give a gift, I actually think about it, think about

845
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: that person. And you know, like even the other day

846
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: watching you for your birthday and just seeing how excited

847
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: you got. You're so excited.

848
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 2: That was the worth of they gift though, that was

849
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 2: you don't think that's a gift. No, oh mom, Wow,

850
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:03,840
Speaker 2: we know when.

851
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: You get those kind of gifts or when I see

852
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,240
Speaker 1: you so happy, that makes me really really happy.

853
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 2: I know, I could talk because you're like get the

854
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 2: shoes things, get that. And I was like, ooh, but

855
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 2: I think that you are a gift giver. But I

856
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 2: also think you like to receive gifts. You do not.

857
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 2: You're not a big physical touch person.

858
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 3: Actually that's why you are a big touch You're so touchy.

859
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 3: You're like, so I think that I'm not a poser person.

860
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 2: I was just thinking to myself.

861
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 3: I was like, maybe me, uh, you're definitely a gift

862
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 3: giving on both sides. And you do like you don't

863
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 3: like words of reformation. I don't think because anytime a

864
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: guy has been like.

865
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 2: Hey you're this or this, You're like, wow, he's a liar.

866
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, okay, he's a liar.

867
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: I guess no, that's because Grandpa used to tell me

868
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: that actions speak louder than words. Don't listen to what

869
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: people I.

870
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: Say big words reformation person. I feel like, if you

871
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 2: feel something about someone, you should tell them, like I like,

872
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 2: I will always.

873
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 3: I write my friend's notes, I write my if I

874
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 3: really like somebody.

875
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:02,720
Speaker 1: I also incredibly like poetic in every sense of the word,

876
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: and so you're a different kind of human. But for me,

877
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 1: I mean just because of my industry and my business.

878
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: I've just heard so many I've heard so many things,

879
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: and I just don't see the follow through of it.

880
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 2: I don't know.

881
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 3: I think that I think the words of reformation is

882
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 3: a nice thing. I think that you are a physical

883
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 3: touch person.

884
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: I love notes. When someone writes me a beautiful note.

885
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,280
Speaker 2: That's words of affirmation.

886
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: Mom, No, I know, but that's different when someone actually

887
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 1: writes me a note that to me is just like

888
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: so magical.

889
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 3: Whether it's a coffee or a car, it's a gift.

890
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 2: Whether it's a note or out of your mouth, it's

891
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 2: so it's words.

892
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: Okay, May maybe I should look at that differently then.

893
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm a big words affirmation person. I tell

894
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 3: people who I feel. I like to dedicate.

895
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,399
Speaker 2: Poems to people. I'm one of those.

896
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,280
Speaker 1: Okay, you're also a creative, beautiful mind.

897
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 2: Thank you.

898
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: What do you think should I get married again? What

899
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: are your thoughts?

900
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 2: I don't think you need to get married again. I

901
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 2: think that you like wanted to have this big wedding

902
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:07,840
Speaker 2: because you're like a neighborhood.

903
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:08,919
Speaker 1: No good to get married again.

904
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: I think if you want to get married again, you can.

905
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: Be single for the rest of my life.

906
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 2: But that is not what that means.

907
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 3: What is that marriage is like a legally binding contract

908
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 3: if you want to get married because you share property

909
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,280
Speaker 3: together and all these.

910
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 2: Things at that point. But I think that because you've

911
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: already done the marriage thing and you've been divorced, you

912
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 2: don't need to look to get married again.

913
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: You can just look to have a life partner like

914
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 3: you should be looking. Stop looking for that big wedding

915
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 3: event and start looking for the person that you want

916
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 3: to be with for circles of your life.

917
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 2: So looking for your husband and look for your partner.

918
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: So, you know, training for this mini triathlon, and I

919
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: went out to train with my friend today and he

920
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 1: was talking about he just got divorced, and he was

921
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 1: talking about how his ex wife has a lot of

922
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: money and he did very well, very educated, and how

923
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: the dynamic between them was always separate. And you know,

924
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: it was interesting because as much as I needed to

925
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: make sure that you know, prenup was signed for specific reasons.

926
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: You know, if I marry someone, I want to be

927
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 1: in a relationship together. I don't want to be like

928
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 1: you on me four dollars and twenty cents, who's going

929
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 1: to pay for I don't want to be in a

930
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: relationship like that. I was married to your dad. I

931
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: literally I you know, I paid for a lot of

932
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 1: things with you for your dad, a lot, but I

933
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: never mentioned it. I'm just saying in general, I have

934
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 1: paid for a lot of things. I don't have a

935
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: problem with paying for things, but I don't like that

936
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 1: kind of nitpicky twenty five cents, who's going to get

937
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: the coffee kind of thing.

938
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 2: You don't like a cheap person.

939
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: I'm not a cheap person, and I don't want to

940
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 1: be with a cheap person.

941
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 2: I don't.

942
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 3: But also I think it's a bit like when people

943
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:57,799
Speaker 3: say that but like, oh, they're like women who don't

944
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 3: want a cheap guy are like gold diggers or whatever.

945
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 3: I'm the kind of person I don't like cheap people.

946
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,399
Speaker 3: Even in my friendships. I'm like, I'm that kind of person.

947
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 3: I like, I'll guess this coffee domat it doesn't matter

948
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 3: whatever who cares, because like I think it's all about

949
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,399
Speaker 3: it in friendships, it all evens out. I think that

950
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 3: obviously women want to be rude and all these things,

951
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:25,399
Speaker 3: but I think that you can try to. I also

952
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 3: just think it's it is sometimes when women do not

953
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 3: offer at all or when, because you're at a certain

954
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 3: age whatever, it can come off entitled like I think

955
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 3: that there is obviously a like if. Honestly, if you're

956
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 3: with a true gentleman, he's not gonna let you pay regardless,

957
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 3: but do not offer, I think is sometimes very rude.

958
00:44:58,239 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 1: We have a couple more things to talk about. One

959
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: thing I want to ask you is that you remember

960
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: me talking to you about the prenup with you with me?

961
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 1: Do you remember me talking to you about it?

962
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 2: Yes? What did I say, I'm getting a prenup but

963
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,720
Speaker 2: I need a prenup? And I said you need a prenup?

964
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 2: And see was like, you need a prenup?

965
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 1: What did you? What do you guys think of me

966
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 1: ending the engagement? What did you guys? Were you guys afraid?

967
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: Were you guys excited? What were you what.

968
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:27,320
Speaker 3: Were your I mean, I wasn't doing a party. I

969
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 3: was obviously concern for your well being. But it wasn't

970
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 3: like a surprise because we all knew.

971
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: Were you proud of me?

972
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 2: I was proud of you.

973
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:35,919
Speaker 3: I thought I was a little I was like, girl,

974
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 3: you could you could have done this like six months ago?

975
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 2: You could have also said no, you should have never started.

976
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,360
Speaker 2: You should never start a relationship where you were single

977
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 2: and then you get you get engaged. You guys were

978
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:48,720
Speaker 2: not together on that trip.

979
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 3: See and I were already living by the way about

980
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 3: that for thettily situation, because you we were like you

981
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 3: loft us whatever, we're in the handpins you were in

982
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 3: like Geneva to Neva.

983
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 2: By the way of Wisconsin. I love the Midwest, love Rockford,

984
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 2: Love Garrett's popcorn from Chicago, Illinois, you know.

985
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 1: Like those ease and popcorn. Let's talk about love.

986
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 2: The cheese popcorn in particular, not the caramel one.

987
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 3: But I think that you were scared of the people

988
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 3: are going to be out of you, even though literally

989
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,320
Speaker 3: a Thanksgiving me were like, no one came out of you.

990
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 2: If you say no.

991
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 3: I literally told my aunt, I said, I said, don't

992
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:24,919
Speaker 3: book your hotel room.

993
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 1: I wonder I was wondering why he did it at

994
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: that time. Afterwards, I'm like, why did he do it

995
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: like that? Like why didn't he do it like with my.

996
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 2: You know how I feel about that whole thing. I

997
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 2: thought it was bizarre and I thought it was it

998
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 2: felt like he was trying to rush it.

999
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess not. I guess I know that

1000
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: the next time, I do want to get married. I

1001
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: do want to have a relationship, a real relationship. I

1002
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 1: do want a solidary.

1003
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 2: The big white wedding is not happening. I think after

1004
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 2: a certain age, I.

1005
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 1: Want a beautiful I want a massive wedding. I want

1006
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: a wedding. I want a wedding. I want a honeymoon.

1007
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 1: I want I want the fairy tale wedding that that

1008
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 1: a lot of the women want.

1009
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: Have a honeymoon and just go on a trip with

1010
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 2: the person you.

1011
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 1: Love, and I want that for myself. I do. I

1012
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: want that person to show me that they.

1013
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 2: You know what you and Tarzan trip.

1014
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 1: Next week, they feel like someone special, That's what I want.

1015
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 2: But I think that you can.

1016
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 3: But I also feel like you shouldn't have someone makes

1017
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 3: you feel special. You should already feel like I feel.

1018
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 3: Some of my concern is like you should be These

1019
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 3: things that you want men to give you or find

1020
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 3: or make you feel, you can already feel on your own,

1021
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 3: and that actually, if you can figure out how to

1022
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 3: make those things and feel those things and do that

1023
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 3: for yourself already, you will be able to find a

1024
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 3: person faster and better and whatever, because you will have that.

1025
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 1: Because I had such a stellar father that I am

1026
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: looking for a stellar husband. And it's very difficult because

1027
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: they just don't make them like Thomas colaurn Well.

1028
00:47:58,640 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 2: They make it Thomas Cola Junior.

1029
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: They make me. Yes, my twin is amazing.

1030
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,320
Speaker 2: We love we love Uncle Tommy.

1031
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: We love Tommy. He's a great father. He's a great brother.

1032
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 1: He's a great uncle to you, he's a great husband

1033
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: to me. Me, He's he's just like, he's such a

1034
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: great he's so funny and he's so great.

1035
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 2: He just I love him so much.

1036
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 1: He's amazing. But that's the problem I have. I mean,

1037
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: most of them are like, oh my god, I'm in

1038
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 1: a harbor relationships with my parents.

1039
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:29,399
Speaker 2: I'm this.

1040
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 1: I have all these issues. And like, I don't have

1041
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 1: any issues with men. I just like love being around them.

1042
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: I genuinely love being around men. I find them to

1043
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: be funny, charismatic, charming, like I love their idiot secrecies.

1044
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 1: Like I genuinely love being around men. And I know

1045
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 1: a lot of them do not.

1046
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 3: I have a lot of guy friends. I love men,

1047
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 3: I love women. I love people.

1048
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: Did you say you're a girls girl or you're like

1049
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 1: more of like a guy's girl.

1050
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 2: I am a this is the thing.

1051
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 3: I'm a girls girl, like I will always I'm like,

1052
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 3: my my girlfriends are like so important to me, and

1053
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 3: they like my friends become like but I also have

1054
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 3: really close.

1055
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 2: Guy friends as well that I love, like who I

1056
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 2: love so much. But I think that.

1057
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 3: I will always try to support women in the way

1058
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 3: that I any way that I can, and I will

1059
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 3: not put up with men doing things in a way

1060
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,280
Speaker 3: if I feel like they're being such anistick or whatever.

1061
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: I'll be like when this this last weekend, I was

1062
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 1: I was at a client's house and I'm this woman

1063
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: who owns the beautiful house has done me for a

1064
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: long time, and she said to see she said, you know,

1065
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 1: she said, I've always wanted to be closer with your mom,

1066
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: but she always puts you guys first. Yeah, and you

1067
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: told me this because I hope we can be closer now.

1068
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 1: And literally almost start blowing my eyes out. I think

1069
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: it's funny because people are like like Lwan's always like,

1070
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 1: Kelly Darling, you're a guys girl, and I'm like, actually,

1071
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 1: I am, I mean, I love I love, you know,

1072
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 1: hanging around with men and having fun with them and dating,

1073
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: and you know, I love all that. But I'm definitely

1074
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: I would never say that I'm a guy's girl. I'm

1075
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: so grateful to have you, my beautiful daughters, Like I'm

1076
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 1: so grateful to have you guys into like just watch

1077
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: you navigate, you know, all these uncharted waters. It's like

1078
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 1: it's been incredible.

1079
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 2: I think that you.

1080
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 3: Do like the company of like straight men. I think

1081
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:32,879
Speaker 3: you like the company of day men too. I think

1082
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:34,799
Speaker 3: that you like the company of men. I think that,

1083
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 3: but I think that you.

1084
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 2: I feel like being a girl's girl is about choosing.

1085
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1086
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 3: I feel like my girls it is different than your

1087
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,720
Speaker 3: girls girlsness because I work in a man's world.

1088
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 2: Every all my publishing no I know actually knows a

1089
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 2: lot of women.

1090
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: Publishing, but the majority of the business that I work

1091
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 1: in is a man's world, and I just don't don't.

1092
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,839
Speaker 1: I don't have any like competition with them. I don't

1093
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 1: like put on armor when I go to meet someone

1094
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: in real estate or whatever.

1095
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 3: My question to you, mom, is being a girl's girl,

1096
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 3: you have to be supportive of women for being women

1097
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 3: in that way. So it's like if my friend is

1098
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 3: acting I think that sometimes you can be hard on

1099
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 3: women as a woman. I think also because you're in

1100
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 3: a different generation than I am, So it's like your

1101
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 3: your idea of being a girls girl is different because

1102
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 3: you're not able to actually be as like I don't

1103
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 3: think you're as much of a girl's girls who think

1104
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 3: you are because you you try to push out this

1105
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 3: like you're like, I want to support I want to

1106
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 3: be supportive, but to be supportive you actually have to

1107
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,600
Speaker 3: want to support work these people. And you can't just

1108
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 3: like say words and do things. You need to actually

1109
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 3: want have the desire first to do so. And I

1110
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 3: think that if you want to be a girl's girl

1111
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 3: and you want to be that way, you need to

1112
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 3: do it in a way and feel it in a

1113
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 3: way where it's like I think that people, what are

1114
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:18,799
Speaker 3: you gen X?

1115
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 2: You're you gen X? Yeah, you're a gen X, Like

1116
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 2: I think gen X.

1117
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 3: I'm in particular, actually have a difficulty trying to be

1118
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 3: you know, like support women out of the way because

1119
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 3: you're still in that way of being taught to compete

1120
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 3: with women and or that women are like like you're

1121
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,240
Speaker 3: you're taught to be like is this woman my friend

1122
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 3: or my competition, and whereas like my generation, I think

1123
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 3: we are much more about like, you know, I have

1124
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 3: friends who look very similar to me, I have friends

1125
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 3: who look very different than me. All these things, and

1126
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 3: it's like even when like a guy, like I went

1127
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:58,919
Speaker 3: to college with girls who are a lot of girls

1128
00:52:58,960 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 3: were blonde.

1129
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 2: I'm a blonde girl.

1130
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 3: I have blue eyes, I look I went to college

1131
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 3: with a lot of girls who looked like me, and

1132
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:08,959
Speaker 3: a lot of the guys obviously liked blonde blondes because

1133
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 3: they were there's one blondes everywhere, and it wasn't like

1134
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 3: we were.

1135
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 2: I was ever, like, I never have.

1136
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 3: Ever gotten into a fight with a friend over a

1137
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 3: guy or felt like I had to compete with a

1138
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 3: friend over a guy, because my idea is always like

1139
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 3: if they like her, then they should.

1140
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 2: Go for her. They don't like if they liked me,

1141
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 2: they would only like me, I.

1142
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: Think, which is interesting. What you're talking about being being

1143
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 1: a girls girl is that you know there's all these things,

1144
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 1: all these choices and decisions frame your life, right, so

1145
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,360
Speaker 1: you know there's a lot of things, different things that

1146
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: people go through. But a woman of my age of

1147
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:47,800
Speaker 1: fifty seven, like I've seen so many iterations of how

1148
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 1: women treat other women, and to your point, like you

1149
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 1: guys have the freedom to not see women so much

1150
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: as competition. Like when I was great getting when I

1151
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: was growing up, everyone was like, when you're going to

1152
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 1: get married, who's your boyfriend? Who's this? And just like

1153
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:03,879
Speaker 1: you were saying, like.

1154
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 3: Well, even now people ask me if I have a boyfriend.

1155
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 3: I don't, by the way, but I just think that, mom,

1156
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 3: I think that the idea I'm just.

1157
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 1: Saying that there's I'm just saying that going through these

1158
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 1: different moments in my life that there have been, you know,

1159
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 1: moments where people are very, very competitive. And you know,

1160
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,759
Speaker 1: I grew up in a high school with twenty kids

1161
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 1: in my graduating class, my twin brother and I, so

1162
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,359
Speaker 1: that's eighteen other students I was modeling at the time.

1163
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,879
Speaker 1: By the time I was fifteen years old, all over

1164
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 1: the world, all by myself, all the time, meeting new

1165
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 1: people every single day. There was never consistency. There was

1166
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,800
Speaker 1: never that moment where it was like I could rely

1167
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: on someone or a friendship because I would you know,

1168
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: they'd be my I'd be living with them as a roommate,

1169
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,319
Speaker 1: and then I would just never see them again, and

1170
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 1: so I had a lot of inconsistency.

1171
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 2: Were there cell phone at this time? I don't even know.

1172
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,479
Speaker 2: I mean, you guys have like pagers.

1173
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 1: And then and when I did have some strong friendships,

1174
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: you know, women were super competitive with me. They're like

1175
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 1: how you know, Oh you only get that because you're pretty.

1176
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: I mean, like I always felt like I had to

1177
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 1: be more than everyone else, more educated, more this, more that,

1178
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 1: just to be just to be able to be like,

1179
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:20,919
Speaker 1: you know, for people to say like, oh, she's she's

1180
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 1: doing well, but my.

1181
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 3: Mom there's that's actually like that feeling is authentic as

1182
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:31,720
Speaker 3: a woman living in the world because basically I'm I'm

1183
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:35,840
Speaker 3: I'm of the belief system that the reason why women

1184
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 3: today are not still like that we're still not at

1185
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 3: the place we all want to be. We all, like

1186
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 3: a lot of women be like we want you know,

1187
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 3: you don't like it's we all know we live in

1188
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,880
Speaker 3: a patriarchal society. And I always say that the reason

1189
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 3: why that we do, and that women aren't at the

1190
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 3: level that we want to be, or at the a

1191
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 3: level of power and control that we want to have

1192
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 3: over our lives, over our bodies, over the world, over.

1193
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,280
Speaker 2: Whatever is because it's our fault.

1194
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 3: It is because from a young age, we are taught, okay,

1195
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 3: you need to be the most beautiful, the most intelligent,

1196
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 3: the most the thinnest, the funniest, all these things, because

1197
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 3: if you're not, the girl next door will be and

1198
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 3: she's going to steal your husband. Like we're taught that

1199
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 3: the only thing in life is for us to find

1200
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 3: a husband and to have children. That's a beautiful thing,

1201
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 3: and that's that's an amazing, huge part of life. And

1202
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 3: I think that it's something that I want where I

1203
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 3: want to get married and I want to have children.

1204
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 3: I want to be I say, at home mom but

1205
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 3: at some point in my life and I want to

1206
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 3: do that and I want to raise my kids. But

1207
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 3: I also understand that my value isn't only in whether

1208
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:39,759
Speaker 3: a man picks me or not.

1209
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 2: And I think that a lot of women have been

1210
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 2: taught that you.

1211
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 3: Need to make yourself into the perfect thing so he

1212
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 3: will choose you instead of understanding that, and so you

1213
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 3: see all these other women as someone who's against you,

1214
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 3: when you should be seeing them as you know, this

1215
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,760
Speaker 3: is about sisterhood. There's always this idea of bro code,

1216
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,879
Speaker 3: but no one really uses girl Code as like girl

1217
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,359
Speaker 3: cod doesn't really like a thing, Like people don't really

1218
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 3: support women, like women don't really support each other as

1219
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:06,399
Speaker 3: much as they should because they have this internalized fear

1220
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 3: that we've been taking. This is very like young children

1221
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 3: that our value is inherently given to us by what

1222
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,319
Speaker 3: men think of us, which is not a good thing

1223
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 3: because because now it's like either you dress for men

1224
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,080
Speaker 3: or just for women. But it's like, what about dressing

1225
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 3: for yourself and finding who you like and finding who

1226
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 3: you are? And that's why I say to you that

1227
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 3: I think.

1228
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 2: That before you are looking for this guy, that you're seeing,

1229
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 2: who are you? And do you like who you are?

1230
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 3: And do you like do you think that you're the

1231
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 3: person at your level that you want to be? And

1232
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 3: if you are, then you're ready to go. But I

1233
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 3: don't think you need to keep on looking for these

1234
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 3: people if you don't feel as though you're a healed

1235
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 3: person enough. I mean, no one's perfect, but I think

1236
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 3: that if you feel like your nest isn't nesting, then

1237
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 3: there's nothing gonna do.

1238
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 2: You can't have little birdies there. You know.

1239
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: It's interesting that you say that, because being on this

1240
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 1: podcast has been like a huge like nest for me

1241
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 1: where I feel safe and I feel open, and I've

1242
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 1: had such incredible conversations with so many different people, including

1243
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 1: you and Tommy, and I've just had so I've met

1244
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 1: so many new friends, and I just I finally like

1245
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 1: I actually feel safe to talk about the things that

1246
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 1: are important to me. And you are very important to me,

1247
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 1: and I love you, Love you, love you, Teddy mensimone,

1248
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 1: You're the angel princess of all angel princesses.

1249
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 3: I feel like I was a little feisty today, but

1250
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 3: I do love you. I was like, pretty feisty. I

1251
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 3: was like, I like this thing, and I was like, wow,

1252
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 3: that was really feisty.

1253
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 1: Tough love my love tough.

1254
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 2: Someone something's wrong with me? I mean mean a little hungry.

1255
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 2: Maybe you know put this episode that I was a

1256
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 2: little hungry in the beginning.

1257
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: Teddy, thank you so much for coming on the pod

1258
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 1: and being so honest with me. I love you so much.

1259
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: Are you like me navigating dating as a single mom?

1260
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,240
Speaker 1: Need some advice? Call us or email us all the

1261
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 1: infos in the show notes, follow us on socials, and

1262
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: make sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do

1263
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 1: Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is

1264
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 1: the main objective.