1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi, Lela, Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hello, babes. 2 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: It is La La Kent with my rider Die, my soulmate. 3 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 2: We had a we had a tough little uh afternoon. 4 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: Tough, a little. 5 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 2: Of a tough, a lot of a lot of toughness. 6 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 2: But you know what, Amber, I find that we do 7 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 2: a great job at passing the rock. When I'm in 8 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 2: a full spiral, you come in to save the day, 9 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 2: and when you're leaning towards the spiral, I feel like 10 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 2: I can come in and help you out. 11 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 1: That is a beautiful thing. No, we have a beautiful 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: relationship and friendship. And I literally was suffocating and I 13 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: couldn't breathe, and You're like, calm down, calm down. And 14 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: then five minutes later you're like, I can't get this 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: fucking bracelet off my arm. I'm so bruised. I've told 16 00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: everyone that will listen about It. Wasn't that particular bracelet 17 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: that you have on. 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 2: No, it's not one that does that. It was like 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 2: a full, a full one. And I was like, oh 20 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 2: my gosh, this is so cute. And I was like 21 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 2: sliding it up and I'm like maybe I was an 22 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 2: armband and I pushed it and it got stuck and 23 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 2: I could not get it off. And I'm so bruised 24 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 2: now and a little swollen. 25 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: Now, I'm glad we put out two fires today and 26 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: your hair, your hair looks fired. By the way, I'm 27 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,319 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm just making this a public announcement. 28 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: I'm growing my fucking hair out, okay, and over that, Bob. 29 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: I don't know why, because the wind fucking blew the 30 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: wrong way today. That's how I feel. No, honestly, I 31 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: just I just want my long hair back. I do 32 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: this all the time. Yeah, but how great that you 33 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 1: can make. 34 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 2: Like if I cut my hair like that, I would 35 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 2: have to dedicate five plus years to getting it past 36 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 2: my shoulders again. 37 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: No, but I'm gonna have to do the same thing. 38 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm loading up on vitamins as we speak. And if 39 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: you have any suggestions, do you take neutrafol because I 40 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: actually do swear by it. I've been taking it by 41 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: the fist I have. And let me tell you what 42 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: happened was neutraful. I feel like that particular vitamin made 43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: me break out. So I have to like take half 44 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: the dose like I think normally it says take four 45 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: pills I need to take half half the. 46 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:22,679 Speaker 2: Yeah okay, I oh yeah, I've fucking slammed those things. 47 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: All right. Neutraful here I come because I still want 48 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: a partnership. Yeah, well I have the postpartum still happening. 49 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: And when I say still, it's you know, so this 50 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: is a year and a half. 51 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 2: But like the way that it happens, which is why 52 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 2: a lot of women are like, what the fuck is 53 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 2: happening to my hair? Because it kind of happens later on, 54 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 2: which is why I say, you got to take the 55 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,839 Speaker 2: postpartum the moment that baby is born, because you can 56 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 2: breastfeed on it. But I've noticed that already, like my 57 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 2: the areas where most of my shedding happened, which was 58 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 2: along the hairline, is like filling in. 59 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: So I don't know, just a thought, all right. 60 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 2: And every time I get my hair done, my hair 61 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 2: girls are like, your hair is night and day from 62 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 2: like when you used to come in here and we 63 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 2: would have to load your hair with extensions. 64 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: Like now you I know, I could totally tell. I 65 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 1: see it. I see the difference. So whatever you're doing 66 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: is working. Well. 67 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 2: I clipped the hair in today because I was facetiming 68 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 2: a boy, I'm out on these streets amber. No one 69 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 2: is safe. And here's what's great is it's not just 70 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 2: about fucking them now. It used to be where it 71 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,839 Speaker 2: was like the guard is up, come in, get out. 72 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 2: Now I've conquered the art of the gray where I'm like, yes, 73 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: I can go enjoy your time and your company, and 74 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 2: we can be intimate together. But I don't have to 75 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 2: fully give my all to you, if that makes sense, 76 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 2: and let's just see where it goes. 77 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: You know, I'm open. I'm open, open for business. I 78 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: love that. That's actually a really good place to be. 79 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: I particularly don't like being in the gray. I'm like, 80 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: are we or are we not? 81 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 3: No? 82 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: No, no, no no. 83 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 2: I don't like when a relationship is in the gray. 84 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 2: But I, as a human have to stop being so 85 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 2: black or white. I have to say it's not either 86 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 2: guard all the way down or guard all the way up. 87 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 1: It's like, why don't you just take it a little slow? 88 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: How about that? Mm hmm. 89 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 2: That's what I mean by the gray. But I'm with you. 90 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 2: I can't be in the gray with a relationship. Are 91 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 2: you crazy? 92 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: Question Mark, I'm thirty five with two fucking kids. No, 93 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: I know I know, I know. We don't like the gray. No, 94 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 1: I don't. We're learning to live in the gray. We're 95 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: learning to live in the gray. Doesn't mean we have 96 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: to like it, no, but some things need to be defined, 97 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: like a relationship hundred percent. And by the way, like 98 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: for me, if I'm dating someone with in like a 99 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: matter of like three four weeks and we've been seeing 100 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: each other consistently, it's like, bro, we're both off the 101 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: dating apps, like I'm not playing this game. Like I'm 102 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: not playing this game. We're not testing the waters. Because 103 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,679 Speaker 1: how could you fully get to know someone and really 104 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: see if this person could be right for you if 105 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: you have all these other you know, low hanging fruit 106 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: or high hanging fruits? 107 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, depending on the age, right. 108 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, So you said four to six weeks consistently 109 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: talking and seeing each other. At that point in time, 110 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: you're off the apps. How do you go about it? 111 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:41,239 Speaker 1: The conversation looks like this, Hey, bro, I'm not interested. 112 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: I really would like to get to know you without 113 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: any distractions, and I think it's time like where we 114 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: could like for me anyways that I want to I 115 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: want to be able to fully focus on you and 116 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,119 Speaker 1: and see if this could amount to something mm hmmm, 117 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: because all you have to do is download the app 118 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 1: back up, right. I deleted my account, my accounts. That's 119 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: what I do. I delete my accounts. But it costs nothing. 120 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: And it's just like I'm so I really am over 121 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: the dating app, so it works works out best for me. 122 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: That's my approach. It's not for everybody, and most people 123 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: like to like say and suggest other ways of doing it, 124 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,279 Speaker 1: but not like, I really want to get to know someone. 125 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,919 Speaker 1: And by the way, whether it's it ends up being 126 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: a great experience or bad experience, at least I know 127 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: that I gave that person my full undivided attention to 128 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,599 Speaker 1: really get to know them. And they may not be 129 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: for me right, we may not be compatible, we may 130 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: not have the same values. But I'm not distracted. I 131 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: get distracted, and I don't want to be distracted. Well, 132 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,919 Speaker 1: I think it's just a slippery slope. 133 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 2: You know, when you are talking to someone getting to 134 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 2: know them, and then you've got your dating apps or 135 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 2: you're sliding into the dms. You can't fully give yourself 136 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 2: to somebody because then there's a portion of your life 137 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 2: that you are hiding and giving to someone else. And 138 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 2: that's that's for me, going back to the gray. Why 139 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 2: I have to have something very defined and if someone 140 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 2: says like, well I don't really know what I want 141 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: or I don't know what I want to do, it's like, well, 142 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 2: then you have to go elsewhere. Like I can't sit 143 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 2: around and wait for you to figure it out, because 144 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 2: at this stage in. 145 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: My life, I know what I want. I know if 146 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: I want you or not. There's no I don't know. 147 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: It's either a fuck yes or it's a fuck no. 148 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: And it's again just hearing you say that, it takes 149 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: me back to our experiences that we had that were 150 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: well defined. The foundation of a romantic relationship was laid 151 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: in my twenties, and because there was a lot of mistrust, 152 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: I want someone to know that they could fully trust 153 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: me because I would never want to make a person 154 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: feel how I felt. Some women might be able to 155 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: do that, but you know, it's like addiction. It's like 156 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: I have to just manage it on a daily basis 157 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: because it will never go away. And I think you 158 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: and I had this a private conversation. It is so 159 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: embedded in me from like a cellular perspective that it's 160 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: a part of me. It's who I am, and no 161 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: matter how much I try to fight with it, it just 162 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: gets inflamed. I have to learn to live with it. 163 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: And how am I going to go about the world 164 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: and date and trust people again with my past experiences? 165 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 2: But what a beautiful thing to say with my past 166 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 2: experience is I know what that feels like. And in 167 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 2: a relationship, I never want to be the cause of 168 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 2: someone feeling that way. I want ever to create a 169 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 2: space of safety, stability, trust. 170 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: And when you said that to me. 171 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 2: During that time of like me going through you know, 172 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: the first I guess heartache that I had been through 173 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 2: in five years. When you said when I was like, 174 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 2: I can't explain this feeling like I'm unwell, and you 175 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 2: said you've emotionally relapsed, I was like, do. 176 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: I need to call my sponsor? Like? Who do I 177 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 1: call for an emotional relapse? You know I heard someone 178 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: say last night in a meeting. You know what they 179 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: called it? Instead an emotional relapse? What is it? A 180 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: relapse in recovery? Not your sobriety. You're still sober, Oh, 181 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: but you're recovery. I was like, oh, I might like 182 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: I like the better. 183 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 2: I think I kind of like emotional relapse. It's very 184 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 2: intense and dramatic. 185 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: I was gonna say it's a little dramatic, which fits 186 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 1: us clearly. 187 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 2: There's this guy who this other guy who I've started 188 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,319 Speaker 2: talking to, communicating with, and he had asked me, he 189 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,839 Speaker 2: had asked me on a coffee date, which you said 190 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 2: in a previous episode, like take me to dinner. 191 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to get coffee. I don't want to 192 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: do any Like. 193 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 2: There's something about a coffee date for me that I 194 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 2: really like because it's at there. It's a coffee shop 195 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 2: where the intent is to just kind of like sit 196 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 2: down and go. But you also have the other side 197 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 2: of it, where people hang out at coffee shops all 198 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 2: day long on their computers. Like it's it's not weird 199 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 2: if you leave quickly, and it's not weird if you 200 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 2: stay a long time. 201 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: You just feel it out right, you know. I agree, 202 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: And maybe maybe that's where I was in that space 203 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 1: at that time, where I'm like, I want a fucking dinner, 204 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: like if you're going to take me out. But the 205 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: guy that I've been seeing, we went on a coffee date, 206 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: and you know, I led with That's how you first. 207 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: That was the first time you guys linked at mm hmmkay. 208 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 1: I said to myself, you're going in this, just can 209 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: you see him as a friend, like take the pressure off, 210 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: Like is he like a friend that you would want 211 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 1: in your life? And that really helped it, like kind 212 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: of just helped. Like he's also in the program, So 213 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 1: that was really easy talking points for us to talk 214 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: about sobriety. See that. So then with dinner with a 215 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: sober person, you don't have to worry about like them 216 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 1: going and ordering like a bottle of wine or whatever 217 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: it may be. 218 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 2: Because I'm still a little bit unclear if I want 219 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 2: to lead if I go out with someone like, oh, 220 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,719 Speaker 2: by the way, I don't drink because I'm sober, or 221 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: when someone says like I'd love to grab a drink 222 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 2: with you, I never say, oh, I'm sober, because technically 223 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 2: I can go grab a drink with you. I drink 224 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 2: all the time, constantly drinking. So like, do you lead 225 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 2: with I'm a sober person? Like on your dating profile, 226 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 2: does it say you're sober? No, it says well, I 227 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 2: actually don't even think. I don't know now because it's 228 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 2: not on my phone anymore. But I do lead with 229 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 2: even in like a general setting. I live a sober life. 230 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: M unless we're talking emotionally, but then. 231 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:57,959 Speaker 2: I'm real fucked up ripping daily. So let me tell 232 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:01,239 Speaker 2: you about this off off my rock emotionally. 233 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: I don't like to call it unstable emotionally drum, it's unhinged, unhinged. 234 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: I'm still trying to manage. So this guy needs so cute. 235 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: He's so cute. So he asked me. He says, you've 236 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: I've been thinking about you. I would love to grab 237 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: a coffee with you. I said, great, what's your schedule? Like? 238 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 2: He said, well, I was gonna ask you the same 239 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 2: thing because you your life seems chaotic. 240 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,719 Speaker 1: I was like, I will make the time. You just 241 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: tell me one your life seems chaotic. I was like, 242 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: that's very true. What sign did I give you that 243 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 1: makes it seems chaotic? I don't know. 244 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 2: And so I text him the night before and I 245 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 2: was like, hey, I'm just making sure that, like we're 246 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 2: still good for tomorrow. He asked me what time my 247 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 2: day wraps. So I then again tell him this is 248 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 2: what I'm doing. I should be done it this time. 249 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 2: His response his response, he said, okay, we will play 250 00:12:55,040 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 2: it by ear. I didn't respond ilan the rest of 251 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 2: my day without him a part of it. He texted 252 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 2: me the next day and asks how it's looking. How's 253 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 2: my day looking? I said, Hi, you said, you know, 254 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 2: let's play it by ear, and I don't really have 255 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 2: the luxury of doing that, so I made another plan. 256 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: He said, ah, man, that was a miscommunication. I meant 257 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: to text. 258 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 2: I meant, when you're free, text me so that we 259 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 2: have an exact time. And I was like, wow, there 260 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 2: are still like I'm so into talking about the communication 261 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 2: for everyone else, but I also lack that because I 262 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,439 Speaker 2: should have said, when you say let's play it by ear, 263 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 2: does that mean this? 264 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: Like I sit here and I'm like. 265 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 2: I'm thirty five. I don't have time for that. I 266 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 2: got two kids. But then something as simple as let's 267 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 2: play it by ear, I can't. I can't come back 268 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 2: and be like, what does that mean? Should I make 269 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 2: another plan? 270 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: Okay? The way I hear it is like I'm open 271 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: and flexible, so just let me know. That's how I 272 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 1: interpret that. 273 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 2: A message like that, and I took it as you 274 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 2: can't lock something, you can't lock it in, you ain't 275 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 2: a closer yeah, but you said, Lalla that you don't 276 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 2: know when I told him, I wrap at this time. 277 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: This is when I'm done, and then I'm free. 278 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: Oh and then he said, let's me say play it 279 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: by ear, and I was like, oh, noway, it by ear, buddy. 280 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 2: I don't know what kind of lifestyle you live, but 281 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 2: playing things by ear that doesn't work in my lad I. 282 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: Have a question. Did he know that you have children? Yeah? 283 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 1: He knows I have kids. Okay, well we talked about it. 284 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: That's yeah. And I think that's the other thing. It's 285 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: like when you have kids and it's a weekday and 286 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: you're playing it by like we were. We are on 287 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: a schedule. We have bathtubs and dinner time. Like we 288 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: can't just wake up at like seven, you know, seven 289 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: o'clock and be like, okay, I'm ready to go. You know. 290 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: Took a little cat, but I'm ready to go party 291 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 1: for the night. That doesn't mask that way. No, I 292 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: have kids. I got to pick up. 293 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 2: I have nannies that need to go home to their 294 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 2: own children, and I got to take over. 295 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: Like I got the whole bit. 296 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 2: However, I did say I will be done between one 297 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 2: thirty and two, so then he repeats that to me. 298 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 2: He's like, I said, let's play it by ear because 299 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 2: you said you would be done between these two times. 300 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: So I was saying, just let me know, and I'm 301 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: like yeah, But he could have easily said, like, okay, 302 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 1: so let's just give us a little buffer. How about 303 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: like three, let's say I agree? I agree? Yeah, Like 304 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: four o'clock, why don't you go home and rest You've 305 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: had a long work day and then and then you 306 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: could rally around four. Does that work for you? I 307 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: don't know something like that. I just don't think. I 308 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: think cass men. Yeah. How old is he? Yeah? I 309 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: think he's maybe thirty one, thirty two? Baby, they're all babies. 310 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 2: I don't have one person that I'm talking to right 311 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 2: now who is. 312 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: Over the age of thirty two. 313 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 3: They're young, dumb, and full of come my love, come 314 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 3: all over me. 315 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: I don't even care. I'm sure they would be happy 316 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: to I'd be happy for them too. But here's the thing, Amber, 317 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: I'm only I'll be thirty six this year. Is thirty 318 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: two really that big of a deal? Is that? That's 319 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: not like young? No, thirty two is not young, But 320 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: it depends. I feel like geographically, it could be young. 321 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: That's La. It's still young in La. I really truly. 322 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: What about the South, let's talk about the South. No, 323 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 1: I think that in the South, you know what's up 324 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: at thirty one? Really, except except he's the exception, right, 325 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: he is just growing out. He's not ready for a 326 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 1: real relationship. He wasn't ready, no, because his actions would 327 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 1: have been different. Agree with you and he agree with 328 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: you. You know. 329 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 2: That's the other part, though, when the sucks. Ball's part 330 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 2: when you find someone who you're like head over heels 331 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 2: for and then it's all amazing until it isn't. And 332 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,120 Speaker 2: then I'm the type of person and I surround myself 333 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,160 Speaker 2: with people who are like this, where it's a tight 334 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 2: little circle and we all go and we vent and 335 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 2: we're like, this is. 336 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: What he said, this is what they did. Now, even 337 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 1: if it were on some off chance to work out, 338 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, everyone around me hates you. I can't even 339 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: bring you around. There's no no, never so true. Well, 340 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,880 Speaker 1: I mean, okay, here's the other thing that I hear 341 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: what you're saying, right, It's like you could it's really 342 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: hard to go to your friends and bitch about your 343 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: spouse or someone you're saying, because that's imprinted in now 344 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,160 Speaker 1: who he is right and who he represents in the world. 345 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 1: I am trying to move differently in the world when 346 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: it comes to relationships, like I'm not saying any like 347 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,160 Speaker 1: I don't want to say anything to anyone, like I'll 348 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: talk to you about it, but I don't want to 349 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: bring anyone the family, to the family, or just in 350 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: general the show that I'm not on. I just think. 351 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 2: You have to to to go through ups and downs 352 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 2: in your relationship because sometimes you're not going to be 353 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 2: on the same page and you have to vent to somebody. 354 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 2: And it doesn't mean vent to everyone who will listen, 355 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,679 Speaker 2: but you have to have a safe space that you 356 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 2: can go to to just melt down and talk about 357 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 2: all the shit they're doing that you don't like or appreciate. 358 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: And I think you can. 359 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 2: That's a great person based off of like you and 360 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 2: I can come to each other because I do feel 361 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 2: like it's a judgment free zone, Like I know what 362 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 2: it's like to dig a guy and maybe not have 363 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,640 Speaker 2: it go the way you plan, Like I don't hold 364 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 2: on to anything. 365 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: I literally have two people, two people in my life 366 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 1: right now, you being one of them. Another one a 367 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: girlfriend in New York who no one knows, no, you 368 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: know what I mean. She's a little bit older than me. 369 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 1: Just to get like, I need that perspective and I 370 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: need that like because again I'm still learning how to 371 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 1: navigate the waters of dating. And so I'm like, is 372 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 1: this a red flag or is this not a red flag? 373 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: Or is this my dysregulated nervous system or is it not? 374 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 1: So I get that. I definitely agree with you. You 375 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 1: need to have two people, but it doesn't need to 376 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: be announced to the world, and like you don't also 377 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: need to go on Instagram and like shout it to 378 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,879 Speaker 1: social media. I don't think that. I believe that a 379 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 1: relationship can be really intimate, but you do have to 380 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: have a good sounding board. I agree with you. That's 381 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 1: not an attorney. Oh my god, you know what I 382 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: love on O you how I communicate with our ex. 383 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: Now they put these like meters in so when you 384 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 1: write a message and they'll like red alert, Like that's 385 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: not nice. You should have said it differently. So now 386 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 1: I fuck run I go, and I'm like, I like 387 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,199 Speaker 1: let it like I'll type like really aggressive, like how 388 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 1: I would say it in person and then I just 389 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: laugh at like what it comes back as is like 390 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 1: you should probably refrain this a little bit different, to 391 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 1: be a little softer. 392 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 2: So for those of you who have not been in 393 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 2: a high conflict custody battle ofw is our family wizard, 394 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 2: and it is what you communicate with your. 395 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: Co parent, your parallel parent. You don't text, you don't email. 396 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: Every message goes through this app and they've just put 397 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 1: in this like AI thing where you type and there's 398 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: a little meter at the bottom that stays green, and 399 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: if you start getting too hyped up, it goes red. Now, 400 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,439 Speaker 1: there was a time that mine was red and the 401 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: only thing I had said was thank you so much, 402 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: like something silly, and it turned red. So I screenshoted 403 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: that shit. 404 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 2: Because I'm like, I'll be damned if I ever have 405 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 2: to like go and talk about the things that you know, 406 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, well, it doesn't know what it's talking about, 407 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 2: because it also said me telling him thank you was aggressive. 408 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 1: So yeah, that's true. I literally just now typed in 409 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: I went to a message and I wouldn't say this, 410 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 1: but I I typed in fuck you, and it turned 411 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: up red and said that was negative. That is negative damper. 412 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 2: That is very negative and we should not say fuck 413 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 2: you in ofw Can I ask. 414 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,119 Speaker 1: You do you think. 415 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 2: Do the grandpas you date have Instagram? I do not 416 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 2: date grandpa's. 417 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: You're such a compare, okay, compared to my thirty two 418 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: year olds, my twenty eight to thirty two, they Grampyes, 419 00:21:53,680 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: they could be my man's dad's listen the forty but 420 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: by the way, they show up to the airport and 421 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 1: park the car and get your bag and bring me flowers. 422 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,160 Speaker 1: So you guys, figure it out. And not only that, 423 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 1: but I dated a forty one year old and a 424 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 1: thirty nine year old. Older men. They know what's up. 425 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,919 Speaker 1: They know how to treat a woman. I am sorry, 426 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 1: I cannot date it. I agree, okay, And by the way, 427 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,159 Speaker 1: I would love for someone to prove me wrong. But 428 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: I have yet in the past three years that I 429 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,879 Speaker 1: have been like out there dating preach, I have not 430 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:36,200 Speaker 1: found anyone that is of age appropriate, that is emotionally mature, 431 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,160 Speaker 1: knows what the fuck he's doing in the bedroom, can 432 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: keep his penis hard like, knows how to navigate business 433 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: and emotional like. There's just not I can't find it. 434 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 1: And so guess what I take that and I scale 435 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: it up because when I'm an old So why am 436 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: I justifying. 437 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 2: This to you? You're not justifying it. We're on a 438 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 2: podcast where we share our thoughts, but these are my 439 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 2: fucking thoughts. By the way, you had me at He 440 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,160 Speaker 2: picks me up from the airport and parks the car. 441 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I know, I know you had me there, 442 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 2: babe with flowers. Okay, so I'm here here being like, Hi, 443 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 2: where are you Charles golfing? 444 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: Fuck you golfing? Fucking golfing? What you've been doing every 445 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: sing by day. That's the other thing. I cannot date 446 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: anyone who's like obsessed with golf because I grew up 447 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 1: a golfer. I know the amount of time it takes 448 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: men fucking hide on the golf course. There's nothing good 449 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 1: that men do. What do you mean, what do they 450 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: do out there? They're just dirt bags. Let's be real. 451 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 2: And now I got to stay away from the men 452 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 2: who like to golf as a hobby. The list of 453 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,879 Speaker 2: non negotiables is becoming very long. 454 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,439 Speaker 1: I want him so busy when he's doing sports, like 455 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 1: if he's playing tennis, that he doesn't have time to 456 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: get on his phone. And fuck around, you know what 457 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, golfing. There's a lot of fucking around 458 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: on the golf course. You're right, there's a lot of 459 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,720 Speaker 1: life bag time in between holes, and I don't know 460 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: it's in between holes. You're right. I just can't take 461 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 1: it anyways, I don't know. 462 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,399 Speaker 2: The reason I asked about the social media aspect is, 463 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 2: do you like when you're on the dating app and 464 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,880 Speaker 2: it can take and it takes you to the Instagram 465 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 2: profile because some of them have that right where you 466 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 2: can click it's like attached rayah does hinge does not? 467 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 2: Do you look at who they follow? I've just recently 468 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,439 Speaker 2: come across getting into the follow who you're following, and 469 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 2: when you're following a bunch of fucking chicks. 470 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I'm gonna say this may be a little 471 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 1: bit of a red flag. Mm hmm. You know, it's funny. 472 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,439 Speaker 1: I started doing that. I started going on because I 473 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,480 Speaker 1: want to see if we have any people in common. First, 474 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: because that's I'm going to go to that person and 475 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,679 Speaker 1: be like, what's the deal with this guy? But the 476 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,880 Speaker 1: second thing is is when you see them and they're 477 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: dating like twenty five girls that look like, you know, playmates. 478 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: Then I'm like, oh, I know what's up with this guy, 479 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 1: because you I have to believe that they've you know, 480 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: hooked up with these people. Yeah. 481 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 2: I've now started venturing into that area. I'm looking for 482 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 2: the man who follows a lot. 483 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: Of men, a lot of athletes. 484 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 3: You know. 485 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, this is a guy or something like 486 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: Huberman or like Chris or Barack Obama. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 487 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 1: Oh you sold me. I never thought to look there before. 488 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And when I'm doing most of my work 489 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:52,439 Speaker 2: in the DMS, I should probably know this, you know. 490 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: I think that's a really smart that's a smart, smart 491 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: thing to do. And here's the thing. Guys are so stupid. 492 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: They are not even clocking that. They're not like, oh, 493 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: she's going to find out. They're like, women are so 494 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: good at being investigators. We're so good at it. There's 495 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,639 Speaker 1: very few things that I I tag that kind of quick. 496 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 2: They're like, you need to scroll his socials and I'm like, scroll, 497 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 2: I didn't see anything. 498 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: They're like, did you go into the tags? Did you 499 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,919 Speaker 1: go into the tags tags? I'm like, no, should I? 500 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 2: They're like, yes, go into the tag tag tags and 501 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 2: then find out how they tagged. 502 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: Then there's five little tags that you go to check, 503 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: like you that are on tag Oh shit, I did 504 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: not know that. Yeah. Oh that's another one though. If 505 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: you don't accept tags, why why do you not accept tags? 506 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 2: I know why I don't because if you tag me 507 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 2: in something that I didn't Hollywood too, people are gonna 508 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 2: know my real face looks sag bitch. 509 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: I know I'm not accepting the tags, but why are 510 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: you not? Who the fuck are you? Gosh, I can't 511 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: that's so funny. That is so funny. Yeah, it's true, 512 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 1: it's so true. I love an unhinged woman. 513 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,400 Speaker 2: By the way, Well you're looking at one right now, 514 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 2: I know, But no, you're not unhinged. You have moments 515 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 2: of going into a spiral and just welcome to like 516 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 2: being a human being. Like there are moments even in sobriety, 517 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:26,359 Speaker 2: when you're in your feels, you're in self, and you 518 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,679 Speaker 2: call your sponsor and they're like, did you talk to 519 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 2: so and so today? 520 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 1: Did you did you talk to God? Did you talk 521 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: to God? Did you call three sober people? And I'm like, 522 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,919 Speaker 1: I just need right now for you to be like, 523 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 1: you know what, this all sounds really shitty? Just get 524 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: in it for a moment, just be a human. Don't drink. 525 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to sit in it. Sometimes sometimes I 526 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: want to put on Nicki Minaj and fucking twerk or 527 00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 1: dance naked around my house. 528 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 2: Okay, yep, replace Nicki Minaj with Cardi B for me 529 00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 2: and Drake's new album, but only jan Is shut the 530 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,719 Speaker 2: fuck up, because that is my go to and I 531 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 2: have not stopped listening since we were in San Francisco. 532 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 1: Are you serious? Yeah? 533 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 2: My mom looks at me the other day because you 534 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,280 Speaker 2: really like this song. Huh. I was like, I think 535 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 2: it just takes me. It puts me in a place 536 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 2: where when we were in San Francisco, something happened on 537 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 2: that trip where I emotionally just kind of took my 538 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 2: life back. That was such this weird spiral and this 539 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 2: touch and go and this circling the drain. And when 540 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 2: we were on that trip, I was like, I'm done, 541 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 2: Like I have the control here, I'm in charge of 542 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 2: my emotions and I'm not fucking doing this anymore. 543 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: Like who the fuck are you to make me feel 544 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: this way? I'm allowing it. I can't be mad at you. 545 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 1: You're a fucking lost cause, but I'm not. Yeah, yeah, No. 546 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 1: When you have that moment, it's so profound and it's 547 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: like I just wasted two weeks of my life, three 548 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: days of my life letting someone have that kind of power. 549 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,640 Speaker 1: But us, what it's okay, Like we're experiencing this and 550 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 1: we're out there and we're we're doing it like we're not. 551 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 1: We keep coming back for more. So like we're learning, 552 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 1: And that's all we could ask of each other is 553 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: we're learning. This is learning. What is this life? It's 554 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: the life of learning. Let's fucking learn and have fun 555 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 1: while we're doing it. 556 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 2: I feel like God is like really trying to keep 557 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 2: me on the straight arrow though right now, because every 558 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 2: time I decide like, oh I found a guy, I'm 559 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 2: want to fuck him, I end up being on my period. 560 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: Oh that's one hundred percent the universe. You know. What 561 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 1: I realized the other day is that I was going 562 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: through this dry spell like down there, and it wasn't 563 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: anything theopause type dryness, yes, But what was happening is 564 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 1: I really believe my body was trying to tell me something. 565 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: Don't have sex. MM, have you slept with this guy? Yes? 566 00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 1: I have, so, then why would your body tell you 567 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: now not to continue. No, No, this was not this guy. 568 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: This was another guy. This was a guy in January. 569 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's a January guy. 570 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 2: So you think I was talking to that woman sex 571 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 2: with Emily and she said, no matter what, lube is 572 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 2: like the end all be all to good sex, like 573 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 2: that is the secret weapon. You could be twenty years old, like, 574 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 2: lube is everything. And I found the best coconut water 575 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 2: based lube ever. It smells so good. 576 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. So that'll never happen to you again. 577 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: I feel like with the right guy though I don't 578 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,000 Speaker 1: need it now, Like with the right guy, when you 579 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 1: have chemistry with someone you don't need it, your body 580 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: is naturally going to produce it. Listen, I'm not in 581 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: full minopause. Okay, I'm in perimenopause. So but again back 582 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: to like your body's gonna tell you, honey? Who said this? 583 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: Was it? 584 00:30:54,800 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 2: Gucci Mane the Juice Box song? That is mem Okay, 585 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 2: m that is me. 586 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 1: But you're right. When I feel when I'm not feeling 587 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: comfortable with someone, all of the sudden, I'm like, what's 588 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: going on? Down? I have diarrhea? No, can you imagine? 589 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: Can you imagine every time you're like gos. 590 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 2: Shit literally, oh no, do you analyze how they text 591 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 2: you were talking about this earlier, like you get the ick? 592 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 2: You get the ick from if they like use an 593 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 2: emoji that shouldn't be used. 594 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want like some like very I just don't. 595 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: I think there's you could use too many emojis one 596 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 1: hundred percent. 597 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,880 Speaker 2: I if I could just communicate with someone with emojis, 598 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 2: I would be the happiest girl on Earth. I love them. 599 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,560 Speaker 2: I love the chef's kiss, I love the melting face one. 600 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 2: The melting face one is my favorite. 601 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,240 Speaker 1: I love that one, the bored one. 602 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 3: Dancing lady. The dancing lady is my all time favorite. No, 603 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 3: I know, but what about with a man? You don't mind? 604 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 2: No, because if he says something and then he uses 605 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,280 Speaker 2: like an emoji, I'm like, oh, I understand, that's funny. 606 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 1: My most used emoji is the crying laughing face like 607 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 1: this one. 608 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 2: Oh and I love the yawn. Oh and I like 609 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 2: the guy who's puffing blowing smoke. Oh and the one 610 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 2: with glasses cool guy or the smart. 611 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 1: Gosh, it's so funny. Now I'm really going to use 612 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: Oh the rock on. I love rock on, rock on. Yeah, 613 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 1: it's like, what are you doing putting the kids to bed? Oh? No, 614 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 1: my favorite this look at look at the side, I 615 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 1: the side I let me get in here. Oh I 616 00:32:59,320 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: love that too. 617 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 2: But see, I'd use that when someone's like ready and 618 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 2: willing to send like a nasty picture to me where 619 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 2: I'm like, so. 620 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: You know how when you do messages and it kind 621 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 1: of takes out your most used I have the heart, 622 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,040 Speaker 1: the red heart, the celebration okay, the dancing girl, the 623 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: melting face, the kissy face, this one that's doing this thinking, 624 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: oh I like that one too, and then oh the 625 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:29,280 Speaker 1: eyes watering up that one, happy fights, happy face, like 626 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: happy cry. Yeah. These are my use ones. Oh so cute. 627 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, mine are weird right now. Like I have 628 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,880 Speaker 2: a frog face? What's the frog faces? Just a frog, 629 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 2: it's a frog out, it's a face frog. Oh my god, 630 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 2: that's actually so cute. 631 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 1: I love that. 632 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 2: No, I would say I'm most used when I'm going 633 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 2: to like flirt with someone, let them know, like I 634 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 2: like it. Chef's kiss emoji mmmm mm hmm. But again 635 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 2: I used it on someone not from America, and he said, 636 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 2: is this a good thing, babe. 637 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: I was like, yes, it is a very good thing. 638 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: That's actually really cute. I the one that irritates me? 639 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: Which one gives you the ick? This one right here? 640 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 1: The son. That son irritates me. I don't know why. 641 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 1: It's because that son is hideous? Who is that? This 642 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:30,439 Speaker 1: is the guy that I'm dating? Oh okay, wait were wait? 643 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,919 Speaker 1: Were you actually looking at the messages? Well he said 644 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 1: he's thinking of you. And you didn't respond. No, actually 645 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: I did because I didn't scrow down. He said, I 646 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: said a sun face emoji and he gave you the ick. 647 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: It's ruined. He said. He goes, how are you feeling? 648 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 1: I said good? You just said good. You just said good. 649 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 1: How the fuck do you bag so many men with 650 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:58,359 Speaker 1: that response good? I wasn't done reading. I said, going good, 651 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 1: good crew, love the filmmakers And he said this is 652 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 1: when I was on the set and he said excellent. 653 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,479 Speaker 1: I said, how is your morning? He said really good 654 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: first call and I put I'm very into this right 655 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 1: now where I say good, g oh oh oh oh oh, 656 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: and then d oh, that's on me and the boy 657 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 1: us to tag really yeah, a lot of letters. I 658 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,240 Speaker 1: love using a lot of leather, leathers or letters. 659 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:29,840 Speaker 2: I like a leather too, You guys said, good a lot. 660 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:35,320 Speaker 1: I think you're right, by the way. Good and then wait, 661 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,399 Speaker 1: this is the best wait, this is the best part. 662 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: Very very wait did he edit and then resend? Anyway? 663 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 1: I just realized, how old is this person? He's fifty 664 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:56,320 Speaker 1: one and you're thirty seventy. Nice. That's not that bad. 665 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,960 Speaker 1: It's not that bad. Thank you? Do you want to 666 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,879 Speaker 1: close this out? Number? Thank you everybody for joining us 667 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 1: on another episode of an unlikely affair with my ride 668 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,000 Speaker 1: or die who is being very mean to me. But 669 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: I love you no matter what, No matter what, I 670 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,839 Speaker 1: love you. I love you so much. I'm a very 671 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 1: sensitive fucking human being. You know. 672 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 2: I see nothing wrong with you dating a fifty one 673 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:24,239 Speaker 2: year old. I'm strictly teasing, by the way, I get 674 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 2: it because of everything I just stated, like, he has 675 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 2: it together. 676 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 1: He's taking you out, he's feeding you meals, he's doing 677 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,160 Speaker 1: all the things that should be happening. And I'm out 678 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,399 Speaker 1: on these streets looking for twenty five year olds being like, 679 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 1: why don't you have your shit together? I'm thinking it 680 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,920 Speaker 1: may be a me problem. Anyway, Love you, guys, have 681 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:49,200 Speaker 1: the best week bye or by weekend. Yeah, weekend, have 682 00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,480 Speaker 1: the best weekend. All right, bye y'all.