1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: Live from the Mercedes Benz Interview Lounge. Wow, what a surprise. 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: I love holiday surprises. Our friend Dan Harris just dropped by. 3 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,239 Speaker 1: I didn't even know he was coming in today. Dan, 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: I didn't know you were coming in today. I didn't 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: know I was coming in either. 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,799 Speaker 2: I drank a lot last night and fat washed up 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 2: in your lobby. 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: We do that every single day. Yeah. Well, I heard 9 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: there was gas station foods. Oh that. I gotta give 10 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: them a plug because this is very important. You know, 11 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: we've been eating on this gas station food all day. 12 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: It's the best. We're saying that some of the best 13 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 1: food we've ever had has been served in gas stations. 14 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: You said the same thing. Yeah. 15 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 2: I was in Austin, Texas once and I had the 16 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 2: best barbecue of my life at a gas station. 17 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 1: I'm talking about Staten Island. Where's it right here? 18 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 2: Here? 19 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: It is? Uh? Oh, it's the Shell Station at twelve 20 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: twelve Victory Boulevard. The guy, the family who opened the 21 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: Shell station loves the food from this gentleman who came 22 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: to see us. Eat is his name, and Gerrado was 23 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,479 Speaker 1: his son. They said, want you to open a deli 24 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: in our gas station? Deli they did. Did they also 25 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,680 Speaker 1: have this food? They got chick him palm, they got 26 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: everything and the price is unloaded. Yeah? Absolutely yeah fell 27 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: her up anyway, So go check him out twelve twelve 28 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: Victory Boulevard. They're fantastic. The food looks amazing. It is. Hey, 29 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: So Dan Harris going back, if you're wondering, like, who's 30 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,400 Speaker 1: this guy? He sounds like he has it much more 31 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,559 Speaker 1: together than the other people in that room. He does. 32 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 1: We met Dan eleven years ago. 33 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 2: He wrote, if you compare me to scary, I'm doing great. 34 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to go shot shot fired. It was 35 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: eleven years ago. Eleven years ago this book came out 36 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: called ten what is it called? Oh my god, ten 37 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: percent Happier, Oh my gosh, ten percent happier about how 38 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: this incredible journalist Dan Harris from ABC News, through a crazy, 39 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: not even whimsical, a crazy odd turn of events, discovered 40 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: meditation was for him. I mean, you were reporting for 41 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: ABC News Religion in all spirituality stories, right, I was 42 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: like a straight you know, kind of pull up the 43 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: rear end anchorman and uh god, how do I get 44 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: that job? 45 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:25,079 Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, wow, you're really okay. So we've found ourselves 46 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 2: in a situation would have book in the road. 47 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 1: You would see Dan doing all these things on ABC 48 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: nightlining this and that, and he had the ABC News 49 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: conservative look, you know, the hair's perfect and and uh, yeah, 50 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: you seemed very like a conservative guy. 51 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 2: Yes, And then I took a huge risk, which is 52 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 2: I told the story publicly that I had had a 53 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 2: panic attack on Good Morning America and front of north 54 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 2: of five million people that was largely occasioned by cocaine. Yeah, 55 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 2: he was doing blow all night. Yes, I was not 56 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 2: actually doing blow all night the night before I had 57 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 2: the panic attack, but I was doing enough blow in 58 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: an ambient way in my life that produced this panic attack. 59 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 2: And then after I had the panic attack on air, which, 60 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 2: by the way, if you google panic attack on air, 61 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 2: it's the number one result. My mother is very proud 62 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,959 Speaker 2: of that. After I had that panic attack, I got 63 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 2: interested in meditation, and then I wrote a book about it, 64 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 2: and you were one of the earliest and most vocal 65 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 2: and warmest supporters. Really helped that book become a success. 66 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 2: And then I ultimately retired from the news game. And 67 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 2: now I'm like a full time happiness weirdo. 68 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 3: Are you Tenpi? 69 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 2: I believe that ten percent. That the ten percent compounds annually. 70 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 2: It's like a good investment that grows over time. And 71 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 2: so it's the incredibly I used to travel around the 72 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 2: world find the worst news and deliver it to you, 73 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 2: and now I have one really good piece of news 74 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 2: that I travel the world disseminating, which is that your 75 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 2: brain is trainable in small, manageable ways, including meditation. But 76 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 2: there are many other modalities and we'll talk about some 77 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 2: of them today that can help you do your life 78 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 2: just a little bit better, and that grows over time. 79 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: Of course, timing is everything. Dan was with us exactly 80 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: one year ago. You came on to talk about meditation, 81 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: how it's important to be mindful of this and that, 82 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: especially during this holiday season because it's such a stressful 83 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: time of year, And then you came and joined us 84 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: at our holiday party. And my assumption is this, I 85 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: was telling this all the earlier. We think you only 86 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 1: show up because you want an invite to the holiday party. 87 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: You are invited. Thank you. 88 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 4: It's next We're having Mexican Okay, is it from a 89 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 4: gas station? 90 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: No? No, Actually, actually the place used to be a 91 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 1: limousine gas station. Oh yeah, limousine depot. Anyway, it doesn't matter, 92 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: so okay. So it's also interesting to me that in 93 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,119 Speaker 1: this eleven years since we met you, since ten percent 94 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: Happier came out, how meditation is so much more recognized 95 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: and the norm when it comes to a lot of people. 96 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: Back then, a lot of people went, ooh God, is 97 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: that some sort of Satan worship. 98 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 2: I had a conversation with Barbara Walters, who was my 99 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 2: colleague at ABC News, and I told her I'm working 100 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 2: on a book about meditation, and she said, with no hesitation, 101 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 2: don't quit your day job. 102 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Barbara, look at her now. 103 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: Anyway, I did quit my day job because you're right, Elvis. 104 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 2: I mean, but on some stuff. You were right, specifically 105 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 2: about the fact that meditation eleven years ago was this weird, 106 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 2: hippie niche concern and now it's kind of like commonly 107 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: accepted mental hygiene. 108 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: Well back even back then, eleven years ago, when you 109 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 1: were sharing this story to all of us who needed 110 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: to hear it about meditation, the military was already into it. Yes, 111 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: I mean, big, huge corporations were totally totally buying into it. Yes, 112 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: and seeing results. 113 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 2: Yes, that's true, and it was it was being adopted 114 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 2: in elite corners of the culture, but not it wasn't 115 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 2: like commonly practiced in my job was where my hope 116 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 2: was to kind of nudge it into the mainstream. Over 117 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 2: those eleven years, I've just got I've gotten interested in 118 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,720 Speaker 2: things way beyond meditation. I just think that there are 119 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 2: so many ways that we can improve our lives based 120 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 2: on ancient wisdom and modern science, and that's what I 121 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 2: focus on. So I like, I try to become, try 122 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 2: to make myself into it, like a happiness Swiss army knife. 123 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 2: I can just help you with any situation. 124 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 4: It's also kind of crazy since we've met you, how 125 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 4: many more people have anxiety and how many more people 126 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 4: need something like this? 127 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: Yes, and talking about anxiety, and. 128 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 4: Especially in adolescence, I cannot believe how many kids suffer 129 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 4: from this now. 130 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 2: Yes, I mean there are many theories as to why 131 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 2: this is. I think one of them is technology. It's 132 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 2: isolating and we need other human beings in order to 133 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 2: be happy. And I mean one of the one of 134 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 2: the curses of being a human being is that we 135 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 2: need others to thrive, and yet other people are a 136 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,039 Speaker 2: titanic pain in the you know what, and can we 137 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 2: say yes? So they're a titanic assay other people and 138 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 2: so like one of the skills that I think is 139 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 2: really important around the holidays is learning how to deal 140 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 2: with difficult people. But what we have now are young 141 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 2: people who, through no fault of their own, the faultest hours. 142 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 2: We've created a world where young people are not interacting 143 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 2: with other people. They're not learning the skills of dealing 144 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 2: with difficult people. They're not learning the skills of managing 145 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 2: their own emotions in contact with other people, and that 146 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 2: leads to anxiety. 147 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: Let's talk about it. Then it's the holidays. Let's just 148 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: get to the By the way, Dan Harris is here 149 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: ten percent happier. But also the podcast. Are you still 150 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 1: doing the app as well? 151 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 2: I have a podcast I have I will be launching 152 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 2: my new app in a week with Dan Harris, but 153 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 2: you can get it through Dan harris dot com. Anyway, 154 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 2: enough plugging, Well, how can I help? 155 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 1: Okay, we are right in the middle of the stress. 156 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I know that everyone has different things thrown 157 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: at them for different reasons during this time of year. 158 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: You know, we've got concerts, people have gifts, people have 159 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: family coming in, people will have loneliness. Yes, one of 160 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: the surefire ways to get started on this journey without 161 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: having to fully immerse into knowing everything you need to 162 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: know about meditation. 163 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I mean again, as I was saying earlier, 164 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 2: I don't think I started my kind of side hustle 165 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 2: and post and news career talking about meditation. And I 166 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,719 Speaker 2: always am happy to talk about that. But there are 167 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:42,199 Speaker 2: so many other ways to improve your life. Let's talk 168 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 2: about loneliness. One really simple way to mitigate your loneliness 169 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 2: is to volunteer. If you feel isolated, A great way 170 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 2: to meet other people is to go help other people. 171 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 2: And why are you not in Gandhi Ghandi. 172 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: Is a big one in that one. 173 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,839 Speaker 3: And I started doing it because you said one of 174 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 3: the remedyings to anxiety is action, And after you said that, 175 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 3: I was like, that is what makes me feel really 176 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 3: good about volunteering because it does take something off. 177 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: Of your head. 178 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 2: What are you volunteering as. 179 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 3: There are a couple different things. My favorite one that 180 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 3: we do is a community cook where we meet and 181 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,559 Speaker 3: we make a bunch of food for people who need 182 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 3: it and we don't serve it or anything. We just 183 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 3: cook a ton of food and you get to do 184 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 3: it with your friends and do something fun and move on. 185 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 2: So have you found that this is a great way 186 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 2: to boost your social contact. Yeah, I mean absolutely, And 187 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 2: that's a huge thing. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, 188 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 2: we all need other human beings in order to be happy. 189 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 2: Of course, everything about modern culture militates against that. It 190 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,079 Speaker 2: drives us into individual achievement, it drives us into our 191 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 2: own individualized news feeds and et cetera, et cetera. But 192 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 2: that's counter revolutionary. This is how modern life makes us sick. 193 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 2: We need literally makes us sick. It drives up anxiety, 194 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 2: it drives up autoimmune diseases, all sorts of negatives logical 195 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 2: and physiological results from the way the culture is set 196 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 2: up right now. But what you're doing is like a 197 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 2: heroic counter programming. We need to get involved, and we 198 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 2: need to be involved with other human beings, and volunteering 199 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 2: is a great way to do that. 200 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: People need us, people need you. And if it's not 201 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: to cook them a meal, it's to read to them, 202 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: it's to just look to them in the eye and 203 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:28,079 Speaker 1: say hi, good to see you. I mean, that's the thing, 204 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 1: And this is the fourth time. I mentioned this on 205 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 1: this show. When you're standing in line it's a supermarket 206 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: or whatever, you have people in front of you, you 207 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: look at your phone, start doom scrolling whatever. My point 208 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: is this, I've started to do this more and more. 209 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: I don't look at my phone when I'm an idle 210 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: form because when you look at your phone and hang out, 211 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: you're ignoring yourself. You're looking at other people and what 212 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,400 Speaker 1: their thoughts are all about. I dare you. I challenge 213 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: you to look at the person in front of you 214 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: or behind you in line and have a conversation with you. 215 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: Know, there's science about this, talk about It's called micro 216 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 2: inter and there's a woman named Barbara Frederickson who's like 217 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 2: the small small talk with your barista, with the cashier, 218 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 2: with other people online has a a quantitative and qualitative 219 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 2: impact on your happiness. In other words, if you just 220 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 2: make it a practice to talk to strangers or even 221 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 2: just to colleagues in the office who you might otherwise ignore, 222 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 2: your happiness will improve that Just iv drip of positive 223 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 2: interactions throughout the day is a massive, massive leverata pole. 224 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: We see as I get older, I'm doing I'm like 225 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: a granddad I'll talk to anyone and everyone, and Alex 226 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: gets mad at me. They don't want to hear you. 227 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: They don't understand your humor. No they do. I get 228 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 1: yelled at like Froggy Froggy his dad. Everything they go 229 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: to the grocery store or if they're at a restaurant. 230 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:49,559 Speaker 1: He just says anything and everything with little or no filter. Everybody. 231 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: The thing is he's making friends. They like him. 232 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 2: Everyone else's embarrassed. My my grandfather, his name is Sam Harris. 233 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,439 Speaker 2: He was a carpenter over the over the river. And 234 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 2: is he a terrible carpenter because he chopped off three 235 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 2: of his own fingers. And he, through my whole childhood, 236 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 2: would go up to strangers with his good thumb and 237 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 2: say pull my thumb, and then he would substitute it 238 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 2: with the stump. And that explains my whole personality. 239 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 1: Is this is this the root of all of your evil? 240 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 4: Yes? 241 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: Yes, that's a window into my soul. Sam Harris, God 242 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: loves Sam Harris. 243 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 2: He would show up at jobs with an electric hammer 244 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 2: and ask people where do I plug this in? 245 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: Dan Harris is here, son of Sam Harris, son of Sam, 246 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: son of Sam, grandson of Sam. I just want to 247 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: be clear. I want to be clear. So let's analyze this. Guys, 248 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:54,079 Speaker 1: So scary your favorite producer behind? Uh huh, that's scary. Yes, okay, 249 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,319 Speaker 1: just handed me a note. I'm gonna read the note 250 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: in his own handwriting. Mind you what your advice Dan? 251 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 1: For someone on their way to a thankless job and 252 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: toxic work environment asking for a friend scary? How do 253 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: they deal or make a change? 254 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 2: Has anybody noticed the similarity between his handwriting and the unibombers? 255 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: Listen this to the lab? Yeah that long? 256 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 3: Ok? 257 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: Okay, you just sat in traffic on the way down 258 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: from your beautiful sprawling estate in the jis wherever it is. 259 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 1: Think of everyone who's sitting in traffic right now. Yes, 260 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: they're not alone because they have us on okay, so 261 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: they can hear us. But maybe they're leaving a place 262 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: that they want to get out of at home, or 263 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 1: they're going to a job like Scary says, it's toxic 264 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: and they don't want to be there, But they do 265 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,719 Speaker 1: have this bridge of time between the two. Yes, how 266 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 1: do you use these moments, these micro moments of your 267 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: day to totally reshift your mind and prepare for whatever 268 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: hell could or may not be waiting for you. 269 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:09,319 Speaker 2: So many little things that I find helpful in these situations. 270 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,959 Speaker 2: First of all, let me just validate the life circumstances 271 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 2: for many people. Listening right now may be really unpleasant. 272 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 2: And I do not have a magic wand, and there 273 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 2: are no magic wands. So anybody who takes the mic 274 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 2: and starts telling you they have some way to solve 275 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 2: all of your problems, you should be very suspicious. But 276 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 2: there are little things you can do that can compound 277 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 2: over time. So one of them is super simple, and 278 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 2: it's the type of thing that your mom told you 279 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: when you were young, which is taking a deep breath, 280 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 2: but to do it in a very specific way. There's 281 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 2: a technique called straw breathing, where you deep inhale through 282 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 2: the nose, deep deep, deep inhale, and then you want 283 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 2: an exhale through the lips with lips pursed as if 284 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 2: you're blowing through a straw, and you want that exhale 285 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: to be three or four times the length of the inhale. 286 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 2: Sitting in traffic or any moment of frustration through the day, 287 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 2: you can do this actually in a way that people 288 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 2: won't even know you're doing it. Three deep breaths and 289 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 2: then long exhalations like that can reset the nervous system 290 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 2: and fortify you to deal with whatever annoyance lies ahead. 291 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 2: It's not going to solve all of your life circumstances, 292 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 2: but can help you navigate in a more supple way. 293 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 2: Can I offer one other offer? 294 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: Seventeen mores? Okay, situations? Have you? Have you guys heard 295 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: of self compassion? No? Okay? 296 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 2: It sounds vaguely autoerotic and weird, but it is. Yeah. 297 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: I know. 298 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm always just tempting you to be as 299 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 2: dirty as possible. That just the look on your faces. 300 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 2: I see seventy five comments scrolling through your mind right now. 301 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 1: I feel seen. Okay, That's what I'm trying to do. 302 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 2: Self compassion is we we live in a culture where 303 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 2: we are encouraged to kick our own asses all the time, 304 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 2: and to compare ourselves to other people, and to feel 305 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 2: this ambient sense of insufficiency, always behind, never enough, And 306 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 2: so how how do you counter a program against this? 307 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 2: There is a large and growing body of science to 308 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 2: suggest that something called self compassion can really help, and 309 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 2: it is essentially talking to yourself the way you would 310 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 2: talk to a good friend. We all have this capacity 311 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 2: to talk to our kids, our friends, our mentees at 312 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 2: work in a supportive way, to give good advice, to reassure, 313 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 2: to just be there for them in dark moments. You 314 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 2: can channel that capacity and direct it towards yourself, literally 315 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 2: just by talking to yourself in a supportive way. So 316 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 2: for me, I'm in a moment of irrational fear about 317 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 2: losing everything. Stop, notice this is happening. Okay, yep, I'm 318 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 2: in a moment of anxiety. Step number one, Step number two. 319 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 2: And this is where it gets a little cheesy. Hand 320 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 2: on the chest. You can put your hand on your heart, 321 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 2: you can hug yourself. A lot of data to show 322 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 2: this triggers the paras sympathetic nervous system, in other words, 323 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,239 Speaker 2: the aspects of your nervous system that are activated when 324 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,919 Speaker 2: you're resting. So it just relaxes you, and then you 325 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,199 Speaker 2: just say to yourself what you would say to a 326 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 2: good friend using your own name. I'll say usually, dude, 327 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 2: I know you're worried about losing everything and living in 328 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 2: a flophouse, but that's irrational. You're totally fine, and even 329 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 2: if it did happen, you'd still have your wife and 330 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 2: son and all of your friends and your purpose on 331 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 2: earth to help other people. You're good moments like that 332 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 2: in the car right now, if you're on your way 333 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 2: to a terrible job, or you're leaving a domestic situation 334 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 2: that stinks. Again, I can't fix all of that for you, 335 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,159 Speaker 2: but I can help you navigate it by regulating your 336 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: nervous system deep breaths as I mentioned, and then talking 337 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 2: to yourself in a supportive way. Especially if you're alone 338 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 2: and there's nobody to share your problems with, you can 339 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 2: be your own support system. Doesn't mean you don't need 340 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 2: other people. You do, but you have a lot within 341 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 2: your own mind and heart right now that can help you. 342 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 4: Does that make sense when I'm paying call it giving 343 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 4: yourself grace? Perfect because I do it with my son 344 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,919 Speaker 4: when he like, he was coming off of an injury 345 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 4: and he thought he was you know, it's time get 346 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 4: back out there, gonna be and I go, hey, hey, 347 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,680 Speaker 4: got to give yourself some grace. 348 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not. 349 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,719 Speaker 4: You're not going to come back and be perfect, but 350 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 4: you're gonna come back and. 351 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: Do your best. 352 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:21,720 Speaker 2: Yes. 353 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 1: And can you talk to yourself that way. 354 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 4: Danielle, Not as much as I can talk to him though, right. 355 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: But now that I'm saying it, because it seemed like 356 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: something you could. 357 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,680 Speaker 4: Do, yeah, I can definitely try it. 358 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 2: It's just it's just a habit that we need to develop. 359 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,800 Speaker 2: And again, you're gonna fall off the wagon. You're gonna 360 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 2: fall into self criticism or self hatred or whatever. But 361 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 2: can you remember, oh, there is this tool. Yeah, I 362 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 2: don't need anybody else to do it, and I can 363 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,479 Speaker 2: practice it. 364 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: It's the opposite of what we typically do. This morning, 365 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: on the way to work, coming down sixth Avenue or up, 366 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,920 Speaker 1: I started thinking about what I have to get done today. 367 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: I started thinking about jingle Ball this Friday. I start 368 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,399 Speaker 1: thinking about the people I have to deal with it 369 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: jingle Ball this Friday, and I felt between here and Trybeca. 370 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 1: My heart start to be I'm starting to be like, 371 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 1: I'm having conversations with them in my head. It's not good. 372 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: I'm texting Nate about a schedule today. And I started 373 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: feeling myself getting more and more just like yeah, crazy. 374 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 1: And then what we don't have the practice of doing 375 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: in our own heads is stopping ourselves. Why am I 376 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: saying this to myself right now? Why is my heart 377 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:29,639 Speaker 1: beat lifting, Why are my palm sweaty? Being self aware 378 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: of this stuff happening is half the battle for me. Anyway. 379 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: What was the first thing you said to me when 380 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 1: I walked in here this morning? 381 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 2: Do you remember? 382 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:39,439 Speaker 1: I said, I really want to spank your butt? That 383 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: was the second thing. And what did I say? What 384 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:42,959 Speaker 1: I said? 385 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 2: You said something critical about yourself and how you look 386 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 2: is the first thing you said to me? 387 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,239 Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I did. I did. Yeah, And that is 388 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: what we're doing all day long. You just externalized it, 389 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: even that all morning to myself. 390 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 2: Yes, And and can you just notice when that's happening, 391 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 2: and say, Danielle, you look fine? And who are you 392 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:11,400 Speaker 2: comparing yourself against? Are you comparing yourself against yourself ten 393 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 2: years ago? 394 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:12,679 Speaker 1: Well? 395 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 2: Are you saying that time should not apply to you? 396 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 2: Are you comparing yourself to the people you're seeing in 397 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 2: your Instagram feed? Well, those people are using filters and 398 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 2: showing you a very curated aspect of their lives. Can 399 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 2: you just apply basic wisdom that you would share with 400 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,719 Speaker 2: your son to yourself in that moment when you look 401 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 2: in the mirror. And but I do it too, I 402 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 2: look in the mirror, I'm like Wow, you look dowey today, 403 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 2: or you look like an over ripe turnip. 404 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:35,359 Speaker 1: Or whatever it is. 405 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do that all the time because a woman 406 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 2: who I really respect, Sonya Rena Taylor, says, when she 407 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 2: notices self criticism, she realizes, that's the voice of the system, 408 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 2: that's the voice of the culture, filtering through me, applying 409 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 2: the culture's standards to my standards. And can you just 410 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 2: learn over time to sort of counter program that. 411 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,399 Speaker 1: Okay, I think it's creepy. Remember the first thing I 412 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: said to you we walked in and we'll get to 413 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,679 Speaker 1: that in a moment. Okay, So Dan Harris is here, 414 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you a question. Will you actually 415 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 1: come back later in the show. I'll come back anytime 416 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: because there's a guy that's so hot waiting in the 417 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: other room. Yeah, no offense, but no, no, I take, 418 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 1: I take not. I mean, does does he come to 419 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:26,439 Speaker 1: the Christmas party too? Maybe we're gonna invite him? No, no, 420 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: I I want you to come back because we want 421 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 1: to continue this conversation. I know Gandi has a million questions. 422 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: And we're not done with you, Dan, We're not done 423 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 1: with you anywhere. You're not done with us Okay, you 424 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: have you have to get out of that chair. Okay, Dan, 425 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: what are you doing? That's how you know your family? 426 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 2: Get out? 427 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: Get out? There's I know that there's a lot of 428 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: There are a lot of people listening. There are a 429 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: billion people listening for once that really want to hear 430 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: what else we have to say about this? Because it 431 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: is holidays and this is the perfect time of year 432 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:02,159 Speaker 1: to be focusing on being asked. Anxiety levels are up 433 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 1: there and just the sound of your voice is calming along. 434 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: So Dan Harris is coming back. We also have to 435 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 1: play around of family feud. What is it match game? 436 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 3: And someone has a whistley booger I've been hearing it 437 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 3: might be may Okay. 438 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: Well we got to move on if you could blow 439 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,360 Speaker 1: your nose because Lucian Levis Gooun is coming in from 440 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: Emily in Paris. 441 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, do you watch Emily in Paris? 442 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: No? 443 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 2: I made it on Netflix, right, it's so good. Yeah, 444 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,360 Speaker 2: that's Phil collins daughter. Yes is the lead. 445 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 1: Yes, but she's not made She has not made it 446 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,640 Speaker 1: any because her character irritates the hell out of it. Okay, 447 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 1: I like her as an actor. 448 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:37,679 Speaker 4: But we like Alfie. 449 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: But anyway, so Alfie Lucian Leviscount is here. Season five 450 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 1: of Emily and Paris is debuting December eighteenth. Yeah, soon, soon, 451 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: in a week. He's coming in. But you got to 452 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,400 Speaker 1: come back. I'm happy to. I'm just trying to figure 453 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:55,679 Speaker 1: out when I should get up and leave. Yeah, I 454 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 1: just I don't know. I spent a long time. I'm rusty. 455 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: Network TV was never quite this loose. 456 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 2: Left you can't say as there were no masturbation jokes, 457 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 2: not at all. 458 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's you know, that's missing. I mean we got 459 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: to take a break. Lucien is coming up next. You're 460 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,679 Speaker 1: coming back. Sure, we're gonna talk more about this and 461 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 1: we're gonna play match game with you and there you go. Okay, 462 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:28,120 Speaker 1: Dan Harris, everyone, what's going on. I'll tell you what's 463 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: going on. Dan Harris is back. I like this. This 464 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: is a new format. We have a guest on and 465 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 1: we get really really deep, and then they leave. We 466 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: bring another guest on, then we go back to guest 467 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,720 Speaker 1: a because we feel like we just didn't get enough 468 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: out of them. Yeah, we need more from you, Dan. 469 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 2: I'm just out there with an IV drip of gas 470 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 2: station food and pastry. 471 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 1: It's not good I'll stay here forever. May I say, 472 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,879 Speaker 1: if you were listening earlier when Dan Harris arrived, the 473 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: response on our text message machine or whatever this thing 474 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: is was huge. Can we just stop for a second 475 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: on text message machine? It's a thing, this contraption, leave 476 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: me alone. So then we're all very good friends with Dan, 477 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 1: as you can tell, because he's being quite a butthole. 478 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: So anyway, where were we? So, of course we met 479 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: Dan eleven years ago. He came out with this book 480 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: called ten Minutes, two Minutes, ten Percent Happier. It seems 481 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: I could remember the name of the book that introduced 482 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: us ten percent Happier, meaning you know, you find this 483 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: life of awareness and meditation and you can at least 484 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: be ten percent happier in your life because you're now aware, 485 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: you're taking care of yourself, you're trying to erase anxiety. 486 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:50,159 Speaker 1: I mean, all the great things that meditation does and 487 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: continues to do. I need it right now. 488 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 2: How I was just going to ask you, how is 489 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 2: your medita is it? 490 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,320 Speaker 1: Obviously I'm rusty when I met you, you were you 491 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,959 Speaker 1: actually had a pretty stable practice. I did, I did. 492 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: It comes and goes, and it seems as if as 493 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: I become more anxious in life, I meditate less, which 494 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: seems is that a natural thing? 495 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 2: I think it makes complete sense because life seems less 496 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: in control and it's spiraling a little bit, and so 497 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 2: you don't feel like you have the time. And that's 498 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 2: a bit of a kind of death spiral because you 499 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 2: feel like you have less time, and then you're more anxious, 500 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 2: but you're not making time for the things that actually 501 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,879 Speaker 2: will help you be less anxious. So you actually you 502 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 2: kind of have to make a concerted effort to break 503 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 2: that spiral. Sometimes. I'm not saying it has to be meditation. 504 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 2: It could be exercise, taking a walk, whatever does it 505 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,439 Speaker 2: for you. You kind of have to. 506 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,159 Speaker 1: I don't know. 507 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 2: I'll ask you, Danielle. I remember talking about this last year. 508 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 2: I think you feel a little guilty making time for yourself. 509 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 4: Yes, if I'm doing something, yeah, because you want to 510 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 4: a suffer your kids all the time, and you know whatever. 511 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 4: So if you make time for yourself, a lot of 512 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 4: times you feel like, oh, I shouldn't be doing that. 513 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 2: Yes, And this is very common and I completely get it, 514 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 2: and it comes from a good place. However, you can't 515 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 2: be there for your kids or anybody else if you're 516 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 2: not taking time for yourself. The cliche is you can't 517 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 2: pour from an empty cup, so you're actually doing the 518 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,120 Speaker 2: best thing for your kids. If you put on your calendar, 519 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 2: I need thirty minutes to take a walk. I need 520 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 2: thirty minutes to do whatever. 521 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 1: I do it every day. 522 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 4: I walk every day, no matter how cold it is 523 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 4: or whatever's happening. That's my day. 524 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: You posted from the thumbs and tundra talking. 525 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 4: I was in my coat and hat and gloves, and 526 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 4: I had my audible and it was just my hour. 527 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 2: Do you spend time on those walks practicing glorious expletive 528 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 2: filled speeches you're going to deliver to Elvis about no 529 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 2: various things. 530 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,440 Speaker 1: No, I listen to audible. See Danielle will pop her audible. 531 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 1: We will pop an edible. You know what? I think 532 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:52,320 Speaker 1: this is going to be mind blowingly relaxing. What's about 533 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: to occur here on the show. It's now time to 534 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: play match game? Are we doing edibles for the same 535 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 1: you may need to. It's time to like, are you 536 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,679 Speaker 1: hoping she's dyed to do mushrooms with you? 537 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 2: By the way, Oh man, I'm scared of that stuff. 538 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 1: Good, be very scared. It's now time to match the stars. Unfortunately, 539 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: we couldn't find the stars, so we asked Dan Harris. 540 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 3: To come in. 541 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,880 Speaker 1: And so you know how match game works, right? 542 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:27,440 Speaker 2: Did that joke come to you on the text message machine? 543 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,880 Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, I'm not gonna I think I know how 544 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,760 Speaker 1: the match gam goes. Okay, let's just jump into We 545 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: have two contestants ready to go. They're ready to play. 546 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,119 Speaker 1: Monica from Staten Island. Monica, how are you feeling? You're 547 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: in a good mood today? 548 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 4: Good morning guys. 549 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: Yes, talking to you just made my year. Look at 550 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 1: that you see? Damn people like us. You know there's 551 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: no accounting for tastes. All right, don't listen to him, Monica. 552 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,160 Speaker 1: All right, Monica, I'm gonna read a sentence out here 553 00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: or a thought, and there's going to be a blank 554 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,800 Speaker 1: in the middle of this thing. Now, I'm going to 555 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 1: ask you to think of a word to fill in 556 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 1: the blank, but don't say it out loud because I 557 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,840 Speaker 1: want the stars to write down what they think you're 558 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,120 Speaker 1: going to say and see how many matches do you get? 559 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:20,120 Speaker 1: That's what we call it match cave. Right, which seventies porn? 560 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 1: Did you take that song from Wow, oh it is, 561 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,200 Speaker 1: that's what I borrowed from you. Here we go. Okay, 562 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: listen closely. You don't answer out loud, mon account. I 563 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 1: want you to think about it. Okay, here we go. 564 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 1: Frosty said, it's hard being a snowman. Every time someone 565 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: takes a selfie with him, their hands end up on 566 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 1: his blank. Oh all right, just think about that. It's 567 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 1: a snowman. He's a god. It's really rough being a snowman. 568 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: Every time someone takes a selfie with me, their hands 569 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: end up on my blank. So keep in mind Frosty 570 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: is a snowman. Take that into account. And we're not 571 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 1: trying to be fun. We're trying to get matches your Monica. 572 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 4: That's serious, serious, serious, Okay, this is not a time 573 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 4: for you to be mister comedian. 574 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, let's not start that, right. I wrote 575 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:15,720 Speaker 1: down a Shakespeare quote. Here we go, Monica. Frosty says, 576 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: it's hard being a snowman. Every time someone takes a 577 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 1: selfie with me, they end up putting their hands all 578 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 1: over my what carrot? Can't carrots one? They put their 579 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: hands all over my carrot? All right? Scary, yeah, Frosty oh, 580 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 1: I hate being a snowman, said Frosty every time I 581 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,719 Speaker 1: take a selfie, but so when they can't keep their 582 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: hands off my pipe. Alright, alright, sorry, he's trying to 583 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 1: be funny. Gandhi. Frosty hates being a snowman because taking 584 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 1: selfies with him, they always put their hands on his said, 585 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: big old steak, big old stick, stick like little arms, 586 00:29:55,680 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: little he had sticks. Yeah, okay, oh well, let's go 587 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: over to Nate. Nate Frosty hates being a snowman because 588 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: selfie time they put their hands on his snowballs. 589 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 4: Snowball, that's good. 590 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 1: No one's trying to match. Danielle. Frosty hates taking selfies. 591 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: They put it, put their hands on his two head pipe. 592 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Monica, this is awful. Let's go to Dan. 593 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:29,000 Speaker 1: Maybe Dan will save the day. Hey Dan Harris, what up? Yell? 594 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: Who said, Carrot? We got a match? Sorry? I jumped 595 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: the gun. You were supposed to read it, and I was. 596 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 2: It's all right, I'm no Jean Rayburn. He just called 597 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 2: me premature, Carrot. I just want to make. 598 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, Monica, Monica, having one match is 599 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 1: better than usual. So you're you're ahead of the game. 600 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,720 Speaker 1: Hold on, you're doing great, Dan, Thank you. Just keep 601 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: doing what you're doing. Constant reassurance is what I need alright. Basically, 602 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 1: how would it be the carrot? Carrot's on his face, 603 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,640 Speaker 1: don't they You used to put a carrot on his wiener? 604 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 3: Oh? 605 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 1: Well in that case, don't know. Oh, I see I 606 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:12,600 Speaker 1: put it down there, of course you do. Okay, moving on. 607 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,360 Speaker 1: Hello Claudine from Beautiful Mystic, Connecticut. How is it up 608 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 1: there in Beautiful Mystic today? 609 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 4: It's beautiful and cold first thing in the morning. 610 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: We love Mystic, Okay, Claudine. Uh, your friend Monica from 611 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: Staten Island only has one match with the world famous 612 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 1: Dan Harris, author who gave us ten percent happier. I 613 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,080 Speaker 1: want you to read that, and thanks to you, I 614 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,920 Speaker 1: learned about Dan Harris and I meditate every morning now 615 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 1: and it makes it amazing. Look at changing lives. You 616 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 1: did it, not me. All right, here we go. Let's 617 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: see if we can get more than one match. Claudine, Oh, 618 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: here we go. 619 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:48,080 Speaker 3: Now. 620 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,240 Speaker 1: Don't give us your answer immediately. I want people to 621 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 1: have a chance to write down the answers. Okay, missus 622 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: Claws claims Santa gets kind of handsy around the holidays, 623 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 1: she exclaimed. Just last night, he grabbed my blank, thinking 624 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 1: it was a stalking. Oh, don't answer yet. The stars 625 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 1: is gonna write down, right down your answer. You answer, 626 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: missus Claus claimed, Santa gets all handsy during the holidays. 627 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 1: Just last night, he grabbed my blank, thinking it was 628 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 1: a stalking. Okay, this is tough. I would say something 629 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 1: stupid like I would say stalking. He grabbed my stalking 630 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 1: thinking it was a stalking. It was a stock exactly. 631 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 1: It's a stupid answer. That's why I'm not playing. I'm 632 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,280 Speaker 1: the host. Oh I I don't think I'm gonna I 633 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,479 Speaker 1: think Monica's going to kick my butt. No, I don't know. 634 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,120 Speaker 1: Cruise kind of weird. All right, here we go, Claudine U, 635 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: missus Clause, I don't know. Mister Claus gets kind of 636 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 1: handsy with her around the holidays. Just last night, he 637 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: grabbed her blank, thinking it was a stalking. What do 638 00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: you think it was? Her gigantic tam panty, gigantic lot 639 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,680 Speaker 1: me and scary with the bell. The bell that means 640 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,320 Speaker 1: we're locked in. Oh, Monica, good luck with your PRIs man. 641 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: All right, all right, he thought, my panties were a stalking. 642 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: Uh scary, Uh, missus Claws. While that mister Claus is 643 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 1: all handsy, he keeps grabbing her blank, thinking it was 644 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: a stalking. What is your answer, Murkin? What what? 645 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 2: Oh? 646 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: Damn dam look up the Google marking, Dan, I don't 647 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 1: have my phone on it. 648 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 3: It's a wig for a body part. 649 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 1: It's it's a cubic to pay if you've got alopecia 650 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: south of the board. Let's not overthink it. Gandhy you gandhy, yes, 651 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 1: missus Claws. His mister Claus is all handsied around the 652 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 1: around the holidays, just like I said, he grabbed her blank, 653 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 1: thinking it was his stalking. 654 00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 3: I said, cookie, cookie, Yeah, that's good. 655 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 1: Sorry. Wow, it's at a little more subtle than than that. 656 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:04,720 Speaker 2: Scary. 657 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 1: That's a long cookie. Hey Nate, turn on Nate's Mike, 658 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:15,520 Speaker 1: Hey Nate. Missus Claws claims senses getting handsy around the holidays. 659 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: She says this last night, he grabbed my blank, thinking 660 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 1: it was a stalking. I said, bonnet. 661 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 4: She does, Yeah, a bonnet, bonnet the thing you've got. 662 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in my bonnet right now, Danielle, Please, 663 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 1: we're looking for uh panties. Who isn't u missus Claws says, 664 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,720 Speaker 1: Sands's handsy grabbed her blank, thought it was a stalking. 665 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 1: What do you think it is? Bob movie? See that's funny. 666 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: That's funny. And finally we go to Dan Harris. Claudie, 667 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: keep in mind this man is the guy that got 668 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 1: you to meditate. Hey, hey, Dan, you have to say panties. 669 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 1: Uh mi, his claws claimed Santa gets handy around the holidays. 670 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,080 Speaker 1: She says, just last night, he grabbed a blank thinking 671 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,439 Speaker 1: it was a stalking. And you said, I said, leg, 672 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,719 Speaker 1: leg It makes sense. 673 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:13,960 Speaker 3: This was a tough question. 674 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,360 Speaker 1: It was a great meeting. You hold on, Claudy. You 675 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,360 Speaker 1: don't walk away empty handed. We're gonna send you something. No, 676 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:24,440 Speaker 1: you don't. We got something, Andy, and he sent her something. Okay, 677 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,640 Speaker 1: I'll think about it. And do you have any panties 678 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 1: back there? Andy? Hello Monica, you won with only one match? 679 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,279 Speaker 1: What do you got for a friend? Monica? Thanks to 680 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,959 Speaker 1: the delonge're giving treats the LAS specialist or to Evo Wow, 681 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:49,840 Speaker 1: oh my god. 682 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,839 Speaker 4: Professional gives you the precision to craft your perfect cup. 683 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:56,320 Speaker 1: You know we love DELONGI comes with him urkin damn 684 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,840 Speaker 1: we talked something today. In the business, we call that 685 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 1: a callback. Is that losing a client? 686 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:02,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? 687 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 1: I love you, DeLong, thank you for being a client 688 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 1: for so many years. We're gonna ask you I apologies, 689 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 1: hold on and enjoy your your new delogy. By the way, 690 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 1: delongey perfect. I'm gonna have a little pick me up 691 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,239 Speaker 1: right now. Hey, you know we have we have a 692 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:22,840 Speaker 1: few moments with Dan, don't we How about Dan comes 693 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,360 Speaker 1: back next year for the podcast. 694 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 4: Can't he stay for the podcast? 695 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, say for the podcast, but he's not what 696 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 1: just say it. He'll be coming back soon. Yeah, Daniel, 697 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 1: don't say anything because you're wrecking his plans. 698 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,200 Speaker 4: I'm sorry. 699 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: I thought Dan was taking for the podcast, but he is, 700 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,760 Speaker 1: but it's for a later date. Oh okay, Dan behind 701 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:46,040 Speaker 1: the curtains. I love you guys. No, no, so fast, 702 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,120 Speaker 1: not so fast. First of all, we're having our lunch 703 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 1: next Wednesday. We would love for you to be there. Uh. Secondly, 704 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 1: the app is coming up. When are you talking about this? Yeah? 705 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 2: I have a If you go to Dan Harris dot com, 706 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,319 Speaker 2: you can get all of my stuff, including the the 707 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,400 Speaker 2: New Year's Free Meditation Challenge. We're going to onboard you 708 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,480 Speaker 2: to meditation. If you've fallen off the wagon like Elvis Duran, 709 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 2: or you want to start, it's a good place to go. 710 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:09,719 Speaker 2: Dan Harris dot com. 711 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,440 Speaker 1: You know me. I always on a wagon. Hey, but 712 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 1: before you leave, I need one more thing from you. 713 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:19,920 Speaker 1: Everyone driving to work right now. I love that silence 714 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,920 Speaker 1: right there by the way. It's so important we have silence. 715 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 1: To me. That's my go to place. I got in 716 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,680 Speaker 1: trouble once people were talking about being anxious. I said, 717 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 1: you know what I want you to do. Turn off 718 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,759 Speaker 1: your radio right now and be with yourself. And the 719 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 1: manager calls, what are you doing? They're go our ratings. 720 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,680 Speaker 1: It's okay, we can sacrifice ratings for a day. But 721 00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,560 Speaker 1: what is your advice for someone right now who is 722 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,239 Speaker 1: in the thick of it. It's the holiday season and 723 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 1: we're going through these I feel like I'm sitting in 724 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 1: an electric chair time times. So what do you say? 725 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 2: I'm going to calibrate my answer to how much time 726 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 2: we have left? 727 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 1: Don't do the time we have left? Don't do that, 728 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 1: don't let you do that? No, no, no, serious? 729 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 2: Okay? Can I give you a deep and challenging answer. Yeah, 730 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,879 Speaker 2: some people might not like this. But if you're dealing 731 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,839 Speaker 2: with difficult people in your life, as we all are, 732 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 2: here's a little phrase you can drop into your mind. 733 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,120 Speaker 2: When I first heard it, I did not like it 734 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 2: because I misinterpreted it. But the phrase is love no 735 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:21,080 Speaker 2: matter what. That does not mean you have to be 736 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 2: resigned or passive or a doormat in the face of 737 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,840 Speaker 2: the difficult people in your life, whether it's your boss 738 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 2: or your obnoxious uncle or whatever. It just means recognizing 739 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:34,800 Speaker 2: that we all have a whole set of past causes 740 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,920 Speaker 2: and conditions and traumas that produce our current behavior. And 741 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,320 Speaker 2: so if you can view the activities of the people 742 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,080 Speaker 2: in your life who are annoying or obnoxious through the 743 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:46,880 Speaker 2: lens of hey, if I came out of that womb 744 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 2: and had the same exact life circumstances, I probably be 745 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,759 Speaker 2: doing the same stuff. Christmas is I'm told as a 746 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,320 Speaker 2: Jew Jesus' birthday. What was the last thing Jesus said, 747 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 2: I believe was forgive them Lord? They know not what 748 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,640 Speaker 2: they do, And can you bring that spirit. It doesn't 749 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,799 Speaker 2: mean you don't set boundaries, it doesn't mean you don't 750 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,279 Speaker 2: stand up for yourself, but you can do all that 751 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,239 Speaker 2: without the hatred, and I think this is a good 752 00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,080 Speaker 2: time of year to remember that spirit. 753 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 1: Okay, Gosh, I love you even though eight things were 754 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 1: about to take a break. Okay. That is a great 755 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,200 Speaker 1: way of looking at an individual or a group of 756 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,240 Speaker 1: people who are driving you nuts. What about the situations. 757 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,120 Speaker 1: I'm in a situation now where I've got a calendar 758 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,439 Speaker 1: that's driving me insane. Yeah, I have things I've got 759 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 1: to get done by a deadline. Maybe a lot of 760 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,240 Speaker 1: this is my fault because I'm the one who decided 761 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 1: to take it on. Yeah. What about situations? 762 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 2: Have you thought about exerting the power of no a lot? Yeah, 763 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,319 Speaker 2: but sometimes you know, there's just things coming at you. 764 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: Absolutely, you know. 765 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,279 Speaker 2: But you have a lot of power to say no. 766 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,840 Speaker 2: And I wonder if your yeses are motivated by people 767 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,560 Speaker 2: pleasing of course. 768 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,160 Speaker 1: Now, I want you to speak to everyone listening, not just. 769 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:03,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I just says saying to Elvis and anybody listening. 770 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 2: I think you can deploy no in your life, not 771 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 2: in an abusive or obnoxious way, but as a self 772 00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 2: protective in the spirit of love. No matter what, you 773 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,880 Speaker 2: you deserve love too, and part of loving yourself, And 774 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 2: I don't mean self love in the kind of like 775 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,160 Speaker 2: knitted on a throw pillow, annoying cliche way. I mean, 776 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 2: real love of yourself, the way you would love anybody 777 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 2: else in your life is to protect your boundaries and 778 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,120 Speaker 2: not say yes to everything because you're trying to keep 779 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,680 Speaker 2: everybody happy in a way that depletes you. Kind of 780 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 2: goes back to what I was saying to Danielle earlier, like, 781 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,640 Speaker 2: you can't be good to the people in your life 782 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 2: if you're not good to yourself. 783 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:41,040 Speaker 1: What did. 784 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,560 Speaker 2: There's some great Pops line how you're gonna be all 785 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 2: in if you're not right within? 786 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:50,839 Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, how are you gonna win if you ain't 787 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:51,359 Speaker 3: right within? 788 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:56,399 Speaker 2: It's it's the nineties pops, said Lauren Hill. Yes, Lauren Hill, 789 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 2: how are you gonna be all in? Or how you're 790 00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,759 Speaker 2: gonna win if you're not right within? And so you 791 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,680 Speaker 2: do need to take care of yourself. If you're an 792 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 2: annoying situation and you're feeling overwhelmed, you do need to 793 00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,520 Speaker 2: say no sometimes, and you can do that in a 794 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,040 Speaker 2: polite way, but you need to pick the you need 795 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,479 Speaker 2: to prioritize. And I struggle with this too, but over 796 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,920 Speaker 2: time I learn and then fall off the wagon. And 797 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 2: then learn again. 798 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,400 Speaker 1: Well, then I'm gonna ask you to take you to 799 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,680 Speaker 1: the next level. Okay, what about these things that I 800 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:22,600 Speaker 1: didn't say no to? But I still have a mountain 801 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,440 Speaker 1: in front of me I have to climb and take 802 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:29,279 Speaker 1: care of how do I keep myself sane, sane and 803 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:29,880 Speaker 1: get through it? 804 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,959 Speaker 2: Are you carving out enough time for yourself within these 805 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,240 Speaker 2: current perspective? 806 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 1: Is will that help me get all these things on 807 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:40,040 Speaker 1: my list checked off? If I carve out some time 808 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:40,359 Speaker 1: I do? 809 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 2: I mean, don't you think if you take some time 810 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 2: to fill your own tank that it can really help 811 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 2: you navigate all the stuff. And this again, I'll broaden 812 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,520 Speaker 2: it beyond you. We're all in this crazy holiday season 813 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:54,240 Speaker 2: where we've got parties and gifts and the whole extra 814 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,919 Speaker 2: holiday workload added on top of our normal workload. And 815 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:02,440 Speaker 2: can you do this counterintuitive thing of like, Nope, I'm 816 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna do whatever it is that fills my cup. 817 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,880 Speaker 2: If it's Danielle, I'm gonna take a walk. If it's me, 818 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,719 Speaker 2: I'm gonna meditate an exercise. I'm gonna do that so 819 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 2: that I can navigate everything else with a little bit 820 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:14,800 Speaker 2: more sanity. 821 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,640 Speaker 1: So you're saying, I have a list of things to 822 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,359 Speaker 1: get done. I should add one more thing to the list. 823 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 1: And yes, and I also think do my own thing 824 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,560 Speaker 1: for a few minutes. And yes, yes, I. 825 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,040 Speaker 2: Also think, to the best of your ability, if you 826 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,959 Speaker 2: can cross a few of those things off the list 827 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 2: or delegate might be helpful not just for you, but 828 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,440 Speaker 2: for everybody. 829 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,839 Speaker 4: Or move it to the next list. 830 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,960 Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with asking for help, I would say 831 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,120 Speaker 2: not asking for help as a kind of mistreatment of yourself. 832 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 1: Yes, that's a very good point. And with that said, 833 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:42,680 Speaker 1: we love you, Dan Harris. 834 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:43,399 Speaker 2: I love you right back. 835 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 1: Come back and see us in the new year with 836 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:47,840 Speaker 1: the podcast we're about to record in a few moments.