WEBVTT - #26 What's Inside My Head? 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.240 Help I Suck At Dating with Dean Angler and I 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:08.760 Heart Radio Podcast. Hello and welcome to this week's episode 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:10.640 of Help I Suck At Dating. My name is Jared 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:15.440 Haven and I am with the wonderful Dean Dean Say hello, Hello, Hello. 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:20.800 Um so Dean, I figured we jump right into it, 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:23.880 getting into the nitty gritty. Uh. There was some news 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.960 this week that another couple from the Bachelorordin Games has 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:29.320 broken up and that involved you. I don't know if 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.360 you wanted to kind of take the platform and and 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:33.440 discuss it a little bit, or just if you had 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:35.640 anything on your chest. Yeah, I've been kind of dreading 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:38.120 this moment for the past four or five days. To 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:42.080 be perfectly honest with you. Um. Yeah, Leslie and I 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:46.920 decided to part ways, and UM, I don't I don't 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:48.400 really want to talk too much about it to be 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:51.480 perfectly honest with you guys. I want to respect her privacy. 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:54.160 UM And I know that kind of with this podcast 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.480 comes the territory of everyone expecting me to share every 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.560 once in my life at all times, and I think 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:01.480 that I'm going to forego that this time and just 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:05.120 not really speak too much about that specifically. UM, I 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:07.880 will say that, you know, the last four or five 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:11.760 days have been credibly challenging. Uh. Fortunate enough to hang 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:13.280 out with Jared actually on Saturday night and he was 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:14.600 able to kind of like talk with me through a 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:16.800 lot of things. But it's been tough. It's been tough 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:22.000 for both of us. And um, yeah, I don't even 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:23.240 just like talking about it right now. It's kind of 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:25.800 getting me a little sad. But no, of course, like 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:27.319 and I could see it on Saturday, I could see 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:29.320 all right here that you know, it's it's an emotional 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:31.679 time for you right now. Um, and it always is 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:33.840 going through a breakup, and uh, I think it's even 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:37.840 heightened when you're going through a public breakup. UM. So 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:41.280 you know, maybe a question I had for you was 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.560 because you do and I do respect your privacy and 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.479 and I think that's um a great quality to have 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:49.160 to keep things, you know, Uh, some things don't need 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.400 to be public. Um. But having said that, you did 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.800 post something a couple of days ago. Um, I just 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.000 kind of had a question about like where you were 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.400 coming from when posting that and and why you felt 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:02.800 the need to um post uh something so um emotional 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:05.480 like that on Instagram. Yeah, I I think because Less 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:06.920 he posted something as well, and she's like, I don't 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:08.640 know why I have to feel the need to post 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:11.400 something like this, and it's like this the sentiment is 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.360 mimicked on my side too. It's kind of like I 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:15.440 don't really feel like I have the need to share 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:18.640 that but for semantic sake, for due diligence sake. I 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:20.919 guess maybe I don't know, But um, it was weird 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:25.520 because the News published that uh split article before either 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:27.480 of us said even even even talked to the news 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:29.799 or talk to anyone about it, Like it was basically 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:33.240 an hour or two old at that point, um, And 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.440 so it was just it was a weird dynamic to 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:39.600 introduce to the breakup. Um. But yeah, I mean the 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:43.680 post that I had, it's like it's like I've always 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:45.760 had this idea that you kind of, like, like I 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:47.480 said in my post, like you live your life, you 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:49.880 do your things exactly how you want to do them, um, 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:51.440 and then eventually, at some point in your life, you'll 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:53.120 be introduced to the person that lives their life the 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:54.239 way that they want to live their life, and you 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:57.359 kind of just like come together and become this one. Um. 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:59.720 I guess A couple where you guys are being very 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.400 into pendant of each other and you kind of just 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.040 build each other up in so many ways and there's 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:07.120 no real like work that asked you put into it. 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:08.920 And as I'm getting older, I'm starting to realize, like 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:11.280 love takes a lot of work, and it takes you know, 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:12.880 a lot of time and a lot of compromise and 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:17.839 a lot of effort on both sides, and um, yeah, 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:19.679 it was weird. It's it's funny too, because like I 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:21.360 thought about what I wanted to say coming into this 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.640 podcast and like the things that I'd be willing to share, 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:27.840 and um, one of the things, so my friend asked 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:29.720 me before going into Bachelor Winter Games, He's like, what's 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.040 like the one thing that you want out of a 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:34.280 relationship going into Winter Games? And I like that was, 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:35.720 like the one thing that I want is just to 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:37.840 know that I feel loved back, Like I want to 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:39.880 feel loved and like I feel like I belong all 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:41.440 that kind of stuff. And what's what's the worst part 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:42.920 about all of this is like I know that Leslie 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:46.320 did feel that way about me, regardless of everything. Like 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.560 I knew that she she did love me, and so 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:52.160 it's like here, I am like, now, it's that's what 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:53.280 I wanted. Like I got the one thing that I 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:54.840 wanted and still didn't end up working out, you know, 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:56.200 which is like the one of the worst things to 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.440 to come to the realization of. And so like now 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:01.520 I'm sitting here and I've like taken a few steps back. 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.280 Over the past four or five days, I've um, you know, 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.360 spent a lot more time alone. I think that that's 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:07.600 one thing that I really need to do, is start 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.560 spending a lot more time alone and just kind of 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:11.920 focusing on myself and and kind of come to terms 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:13.320 with a lot of the issues that I have in 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:15.320 my life and from my past that are are very 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.760 much affecting my dating life nowadays. And you know, I've 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:21.640 been like meditating more and um, I sought out therapy. 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:25.200 I'm gonna start going to therapy this week. UM. And 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:27.279 even like as I was, it was kind of like 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.280 a postmortem with with um one another, and I was like, 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:34.080 I don't know, I don't really think I've ever had 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:36.760 a strong example of a good relationship in my entire life. 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:38.279 Like my parents didn't really like each other when I 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.560 was growing up. My brother is in a good relationship 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.120 now with his girlfriend, but I don't really see or 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:44.240 hear from them very often. All my friends are, you know, 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:46.240 more or less going from one field relationship to the next. 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:48.480 So like, I've never really had a relationship to look 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:49.920 up to, and I think that that takes a big 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:52.920 toll on on kind of what I think a relationship 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:56.320 should be. Like, UM, I think I have like this, 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:58.760 And sorry for just I'm rambling and I'm just kind 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.039 of talking about what comes to mind. But UM, I 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.240 like this crippling fear of like turning out like my father. 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:04.600 I think I realized the other day too. I was 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:05.920 like sitting on the beach and I was like doing 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:07.480 my breathing exercises, and I was like, damn if I 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:09.080 end up like him, I'm gonna be really really sad 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:11.599 at myself for that. Um. And so you know, I 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.840 have like this, I guess instinctive defensive thing to like 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.039 kind of push away from the good things in my life. 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.920 And um, hopefully there are people end up helping me 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:21.560 out with that. And UM, I think I just need 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:23.440 to come to two terms with a lot of the 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:27.280 issues that I have ah or have dealt with personally. 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:29.720 And like face myself and like look myself in the 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:31.440 mirror and be like, you went through this, and so 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:33.760 now you need to, like people to build from this. 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:35.800 And obviously all we can do is like, once you 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.120 recognize a fault, if you don't like take action to 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:40.000 make it better, like, that's the worst thing you can do. 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:41.599 And I think that I've kind of done that in 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:43.720 the past, where I'm like, oh, I have this problem, 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:45.040 but it's going to fix it self kind of thing. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:46.200 But now it's more of a matter of like, oh, 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:47.560 I have all these problems. I need to like take 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:49.440 action actually make them better for myself. And of course 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:53.200 you learn from your mistakes. Um and yeah, like like 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.080 the guilt, the the remorse, the depression and anxiety that 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:58.400 I feel right now, it sucks. But um, I think 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.919 if you know, if the relationship up going, it's it 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.000 would have been much worse if it got to this 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:06.040 point again, you know. Um So, so all of these 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:10.359 feelings are a fraction of what I assumed would have been. Um. 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:12.800 You know, if a breakup happened in six months, when 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:15.960 just relationships or I'm sorry, emotions continue to kind of 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:18.680 grow and grow, and um and I said, I wasn't 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:20.800 gonna talk much about this. But again, all of this 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:24.080 boils back down to I think my issues, my securities, 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:27.760 like my incredible fear of abandonment and like needing to 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:31.080 be belonged somewhere all that kind of stuff. So um, 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.000 nothing Unleslie. Like Leslie was an incredible girlfriend, and I 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:35.919 know one day she'll be an incredible wife of a 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:39.039 wonderful mother. She's a great uh aunt to her two nephews, 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:42.440 and um, you know she she's she's a great girl. 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:46.279 So um, I don't know, it's tough. It's been a 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.800 rough couple of days. Yeah, man, uh you know we 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:50.480 I was, like I said, I've seen you the beast 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:51.960 couple of days, and I can kind of see you 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.360 going through a very emotional difficult time right now. And 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:56.480 I think you're handling it as best as you possibly can. 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.000 I think you're handling it very maturely. And and also 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:02.560 I wanted to say that like you've been nothing, you 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:04.920 have nothing, You have nothing but nice things to say 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:08.120 about Leslie. Like that's I mean even talking about it. 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.840 The past few days, you have said nothing but just 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:14.120 wonderful things about her. Um, and I think that's very respectable. 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:16.360 And I also think that you going through the self 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:19.440 reflecting reflecting time right now is also very important because 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:20.600 I feel like a lot of people that go through 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.960 breakups they kind of they can maybe blame the other 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:24.640 person too much, and you're not doing that. You're taking 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:28.320 a lot of responsibility for yourself. Um, and you're learning 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.960 from that. And even by you know, you're saying going 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:33.040 to therapy, by the way, but you know, like going 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.280 in interviews in the batchelors like exactly like going through 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.400 therapy right now, and so UM, trust me, we've all 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:41.240 been there, and I think you're doing the best you 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.440 can and that's all you can do. Yeah, I mean, 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.920 I don't know. I can't. Like I said, it's it's 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.560 one thing to recognize the faults that you have in 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:54.680 your relationships. But I'm working hard and diligently to focus 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.800 on fixing those problems, and I don't necessarily know where 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.080 to start. I think therapy is a good place to 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:00.800 start for me. I always kind of like, I always 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.679 kind of knock therapy. I one of my former girlfriends 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:05.640 from a three year few years ago, I mentioned that 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.120 she went to therapy and um and how beneficial it 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:09.120 was for her, and I was I was kind of 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:10.720 wrote it off as like, oh, I always kind of think, 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.000 like week, will people go to therapy, like just people 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:16.320 that can't really deal with their own emotions, etcetera, etcetera. Um, 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:19.040 but going through this breakup and like the amount of uh, 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:24.000 I guess things that came to surface throughout it, like 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.120 it was like I need to go to therapy. Yeah. 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:29.080 I went to therapy for about two years really, yeah, absolutely, 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.720 just to uh kind of went through a difficult break up. 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.920 This is before the Bachelorette and um, kind of going 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:36.440 through the same thing you're going through right now. Where 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:38.080 I was just doing a lot of self reflecting and 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:41.400 questioning my own, um decisions that I've made and the 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:43.960 person that I am today. And I was trying to 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.560 exactly kind of focus on the things that I don't 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:49.040 like about myself and and try to fix those things. 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:51.360 And so therapy really helped me just being able to 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:53.360 It's amazing how a thought can go through your head 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:55.959 and it feels like the worst thing imaginable, and then 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:57.439 all you do is say it and you just kind 0:08:57.440 --> 0:08:58.760 of put it out into the world and get it 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:01.320 off your chest, and then you realize. Wow, Okay, I 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.880 feel aho lot better right now just from saying that. UM, 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.640 And so I am a total advocate therapy, and I'm 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:11.199 also a total advocate of UM, you know, looking inward 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:14.680 for answers. Yeah, and that's something I maybe you haven't 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.000 done so much. I've I've been alone before, like I've 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:19.320 been on my own for you know, however long, but UM, 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:21.200 I don't think I've ever really dived in and like 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.559 I asked myself the difficult questions, and so over the 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:26.040 past four or five days, like I'll like be sitting 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:27.320 there and thinking, like I'll have like a like an 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:30.320 epiphany You're like a revelation about UM, something about my 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:32.120 childhood or something about my past where I'm like, I 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.080 don't want that and I don't want that to happen again. 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.240 So like what are the necessary steps to ensure that 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.400 that doesn't happen? Yeah? Absolutely, I think you're showing a 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:40.120 lot of vulnerability right now. And we've talked about it 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.040 on this podcast before. I mean, I think we've all 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.320 said vulnerabilities a sign of strength, not weakness. So I 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:46.560 think you're exuding a lot of strength by going through 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:48.640 this public ar right now and I want to thank 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:54.200 you for talking about it with us, um, and uh, yeah, 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:55.800 I feel like you're being a little hard on yourself 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:57.480 to be honest with you. I mean, aren't all breakups 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.640 snately a mutual situation, don't matter who did the breaking up. 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.320 And I don't know in your situation. I don't know 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:04.640 anything about your situation, but it seems like it's just 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.240 these things. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. I 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:10.120 think you maybe shouldering too much of the blame. I 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.040 think I've done that before in the past, and I 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.800 think that sometimes I do end up taking too much 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.160 of the responsibility and like allowing myself to kind of 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:20.199 be that sponge to absorb that. But I mean that's 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:22.520 just kind of maybe that's again something that I can 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:25.040 work through therapy, but it's just like that's my I 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:27.720 guess default. Like when things go wrong, like the easiest 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:29.520 thing to do is to blame yourself, because at the 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:31.240 end of the day, like you control how you react 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.600 to everything, You control your actions to to every situation, 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:36.720 and so it's in a sense always entirely my fault. 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:38.000 But then obviously if you look at from the other 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:39.240 side of that that person can be like, oh, it's entirely 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:43.400 my fault too, So, UM, I understand where you're coming from. Um, 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:46.280 But to bounce off that, I would absolutely agree with you. 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:48.560 Any relationship that breaks off, it's on both people, right, 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:50.679 A relationship is a two way street. Having said that, 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:53.840 I think for me personally, it was just more it 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.760 was more difficult to put to talk about Leslie's side 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:58.880 for the simple fact that Leslie's in here and so 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.520 she can't really articulate her own feelings about things. And 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.480 that's one of the main reasons why I demand that demand. 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:07.800 Whatever I demand, I demand it that that the breakup 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:11.120 itself is at least as private as possible, to respect 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.360 her privacy because she doesn't have a voice in the situation. 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:15.080 And of course you could go to a news outlet 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:16.440 whatever share her side of the story if she so 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.040 intend to. Um, But like, just because she's not here to, 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:21.680 I have no right to talk about that, I don't 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:24.920 think I would agree. Well, could Rachel Lindsay talk about it? Yes, 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:27.760 because she has some thoughts. So before we entered Marketad 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.319 informed me that Rachel was on the Almost Famous podcast 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:32.720 with Benn and Ashley, another I heard radio podcast and 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:34.319 if you haven't listened to it yet. Give it a listen. 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.640 So here is Ashley I asking Rachel about this. Well, 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.240 speaking of things not being sunshine and rainbows, we just 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:44.000 recently had two big Bachelor Winter Games breakups this week 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.920 Claire and Benoir and Diana and Leslie. Um, Rachel, did 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.800 you see these coming? I never thought had report to 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:58.280 work now and Leslie, I actually thought they were. I 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.760 thought that they had to have along with the same 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:05.679 interest like personalities that messed really well together. And I 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:07.640 thought that they were going to work out. Like. I 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:09.679 didn't think that they were going to be running down 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:12.640 the eye only any time soon. But I thought that 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:15.400 they were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend for a while, 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:19.200 so I would it ended so quickly. That's pretty much 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.120 my thoughts on it too. I thought Dean Leslie would 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:22.840 be together for a while and think they were each 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:25.000 other's forever person. I think he was going to lead 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:27.120 to marriage, but I thought it would be maybe maybe 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.480 become more months actually in rachel thoughts on your situation 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:32.160 is that it's gotta be weird to just to hear 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.720 people on other shows talking about your personal life, right, 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.760 Is that weird? Well, yeah, it's weird. But my question 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:41.800 with that, and I would love to obviously give the 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.880 floor to you guys. In in response to that, so 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:46.680 actually said, and they both kind of seemed to agree 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:49.040 that we would date for you know, maybe another year, 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.319 a year and a half. But where if you if 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.000 you kind of see it coming to an end eventually, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.880 if it's not your forever person, why why keep going 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:00.880 along with the process and keep it I absolutely agree. 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:03.320 I think that they probably thought that you both of 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.640 you would not realize that you weren't each other's forever 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.800 person for a little while. That's my only defensive theirs. 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:12.080 But having said that, as they're saying two different things, 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:13.839 are saying, I knew they were never gonna get married, 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:15.760 but I was shocked they broke up. Well, it's kind 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:19.560 of the opposite thing, isn't it. Yes, especially especially at 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:21.320 this age, right when you're getting to your late twenties 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:22.800 early thirties, you're like, well, if this is not my 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:25.280 forever person, that it's better to end it earlier rather 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.960 than later. And I think, um, for them, they probably 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:29.600 were just saying that because they thought that you guys 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:31.320 were in day for a while and you guys maybe 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:35.120 would fade out. I'm not really sure, but for you, uh, Dean, 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:38.719 I think the fact that you realized that Leslie might 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.120 not be your forever person and that you ended it 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.960 earlier rather than later, uh, was the right thing to do, 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.400 because it's not good to drag these things on because 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:49.880 all you're doing is hurting each you know, not only 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:53.679 hurting yourself, but hurting um, you know, your partner as well. 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:55.559 So and that goes back to the point that I 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.920 made earlier, of all of these horrible feelings that I'm 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:01.560 going through, unless you are going through right now, is 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.760 there there a fraction of what they would potentially be 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.400 if if you happen in a year too, of course, 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:09.160 because then feelings grow then turned you know, you're turning 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.880 into like, you know, deeper love and families being a 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:16.000 part of each other, and potential like you know, other 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:19.000 things you know, moving in that just would really complicate 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:22.960 the issue. So and it's also like, you know, like 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:24.840 with Rachel, as much as a respect her, like, she 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:26.680 just doesn't know. She didn't know the inner workings of 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.000 your relationships, so she's just saying like, yeah, I thought 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:30.200 it would work out for a while, and then I 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.480 thought they probably wouldn't be you know, married or anything, 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:34.040 but I thought they'd be together for a while. And 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.720 so it's just an outsider speaking on a relationship, just 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:38.720 like if you know, if I was speaking upon it, 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:40.440 i'd be announcer. I don't know the inner workings of 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.440 your relationship with Leslie. So the only two people that 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:45.360 know that are you and Leslie, right, I mean, yeah, 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:46.960 competing you a little bit. And that's another thing too, 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.000 especially with like social media and all that kind of stuff, 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:51.960 is everyone has an opinion about everything. I've I've gone 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.200 to the extent of just deleting my Instagram and deleting 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:55.960 my Twitter, not like de activating my accounts, but just 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.120 deleting the apps and I'll reinstall them. And I have 0:14:58.160 --> 0:14:59.680 to you know, post for a brand or post to 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:03.040 promote this podcast. But I just like it. I had 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:05.400 like this digital dependence of like every time I picked 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:07.240 up my phone, the first thing I would do is 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:09.600 open Instagram totally. And so so now I just want 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:11.160 to if I pick up my phone, it's going to 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.800 be either to answer a phone call, call someone, text someone, etcetera, 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:16.520 and not just go on social media. Um again, it's 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.160 it's not so much about like listening to like the 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:20.720 negativity that's out there about people talking about the relationship, 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.040 and I think that it's just a matter of it's 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.960 just it's a waste of time in so many ways, 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:26.480 and I think, like, right now, I just need to 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.800 realign my focus and my priorities because of that. And 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:30.680 everyone's got an opinion, and that's gonna be the hardest 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.600 part about going through a public situation like this is 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:36.120 everyone you've actually met those people actually, and Rachel, so 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:38.520 many hundreds of people you've never met hav an opinion 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.280 on this, and that's Oh, it does driving nuts, right. 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.800 Everybody's like, you were right, you were wrong. She's the best, 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:45.720 you're the worst. You're the best, she's the worst. And 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:47.640 it's just like, no, that's not how it works. You 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.720 guys don't understand that it's just a relationship. It's a 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.120 normal relationship. Yes, that it was. It was on TV, 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:53.960 and it was for the public eye. Having said that, 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.680 it was a very normal relationship where feelings happened, We 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:59.240 were together and it was a very difficult breakup, but 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:00.720 it just needed to come to an end. And so 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:02.520 I think people forget that, right they look at you 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:04.800 and they look at Leslie and you guys are like, oh, 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.040 these aren't real people. These are just characters that I've 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.240 seen on the television show. No, these are real people 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:12.000 with real feelings and real emotions. And while we try 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.600 not to look at comments or people's opinions, like, of 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:16.000 course we're going to hear them and see them and 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.400 it's gonna affect us and either make us sad or 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:21.720 happy or well, probably not happy. But um, like I 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:23.600 think people just forget that they see you on TV. 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.840 They immediately think that you're just a character and that 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:27.800 you're actually not a real person. People forget that this 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.160 is reality television. It's not just television, and you can 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:31.880 filter out only so much. But at the end of 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:34.120 the day to to that point as well, it's like 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:39.320 the most important thing that I've I guess, I mean 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.640 not the most important thing, because I I'm trying to 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:43.440 see the value and being alone, but like my friends 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:45.400 and uh, the people that are close to me have 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:47.560 been incredibly supportive, like if if, if, and when I 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:49.360 need to talk about anything, like they're the first ones there, 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:53.920 and um, yeah, I mean the people that know you 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:55.640 are really the only ones that should have an opinion 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.520 to value and and the ones that you at least 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.240 the only people that the people that know you, sorry, 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:04.040 are the ones opinions that you should only really carry 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.440 any weight in your life. Of course, yeah, you should 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.760 value the opinions of the people that are important to you, 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.440 you know, not the people that have no idea who 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:14.120 you are and the only thing they know about you 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:17.639 is either through television show or social media. Of course, 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:22.080 I wholeheartedly agree. Before we start the rest of the show, 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:23.879 we have a psychicon in a minute, because you have 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.639 one more question you want to ask, Oh, do I 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:31.399 know I was God Dean? Well, now I feel like 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:33.840 a jerk asking I was gonna joke around and be like, oh, 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.560 well Dean, what about Paradise? But now I'm not gonna 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:39.000 ask about that. That's I'll put it out there right now. 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.320 There is a zero percent chance there we go. Zero 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.800 was seeing Dean on Bachelor? Zero percent chance. And I've 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:46.600 seen before I leave on my Twitter, which just was 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:48.280 last night, so it's it's like a fresh thing to me. 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:50.480 I'm just I'm slowly trying to learn how to be 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:53.840 less engaged with that type of stuff. Um, I saw 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:58.040 people saying things like Uh, if Dean goes on paradise 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.040 and it's proof that he's just chasing the fame and 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.960 all that kind of stuff, And it's like, I want 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.240 to be with someone like I I wish that I 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.000 met my person five years ago and I was twenty one, 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:08.080 that I could spend the rest of my life with 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.359 or eighteen, and so I could spend the rest of 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:11.359 my life with them from that point forward. But there's 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.920 a point where I want to be with someone, but 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:16.960 I don't want to have a very big fear of 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:19.480 being with the wrong person, And maybe that's something that 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:21.800 I need to work on again. Honestly, it's the key 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:23.360 to life. And I don't mean to put that kind 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.320 of pressure on you, but as a happily married man, 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:28.320 I've always said the key to life is marrying the 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:30.720 right person right, because then everything else falls into place. 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:32.680 What's your fear of being with the wrong person. Don't 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.280 you find that if you were with the wrong person, 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.480 you would end it right? So what is your fear? 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:40.800 Is your fear of marrying the wrong person? No? No, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:42.240 So I guess the point that I'm trying to say 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:45.159 is is I want to be with someone and I 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:47.000 want to be in a relationship, but I don't want 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.280 to be in that relationship if it's not with the 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:51.280 person that I see myself really spending the rest of 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:53.920 my life with. So are you more afraid of being 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:55.919 with the wrong person or are you more afraid of 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:58.399 being alone for the rest of your life? Because I 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:00.000 feel like you're the type of person that would never 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:02.560 marry the wrong person. You're the more of the type 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:04.639 of person that would just never marry anybody because you 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.960 don't think that they're the right person. Well, so that's 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:08.600 the thing, and that goes back to my Instagram caption 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:10.600 of this utopian idea of what a relationship is. I 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:13.760 don't I don't I want to be married at some 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:16.080 point in my life, Like I I don't think that 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:18.040 I think that marriage has a lot of issues just 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:21.480 fundamentally as as a institution whatever it is. And it 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:24.440 dates back to you know, archaic ages where they were 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:27.119 bringing together two farms so that the families could have 0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:28.320 more sheeps and all that kind of stuff, and it 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:30.040 just kind of snowballed into what it is now and 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.080 that's probably fine, but there I do have, like the 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:33.800 longing to be with one person for the rest of 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:35.120 my life. I want to meet the love your life 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:36.840 and spend the rest of your life with them and 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.160 share your life with them totally, whether that be marriage 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.800 or just being with each other. Well, I mean I 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:44.919 want marriage, but be married alright, perfect, you want marriages. Well, 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:46.280 I just don't want to judge people that are like 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:48.679 I'm never getting married, and and even my roommates. So 0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:51.560 my roommates, Um, I was talking to me the other 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.440 day and he's like, yeah, like I don't know if 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:54.919 I ever want to be married. And I was like, 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:56.600 really like that surprising. He's like, yeah, I don't know 0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:58.160 if I ever want to have kids. And he looks 0:19:58.200 --> 0:19:59.480 at his father, and his father is kind of the 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.760 same way where his father lived in Germany, and you know, 0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:04.200 just kind of like dates around and all this stuff 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.159 and all this stuff and environment was like usually like 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:09.200 when I'm I guess single, I'm happier and I feel 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:11.080 more liberated and more freed all that kind of stuff. 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:13.720 And um, I can see obviously like if he's happy 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:17.199 because of that, then that's great, But um, I just 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:20.000 think that again back to that that utopian idea of 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:22.199 of kind of two people coming together to creating the 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:25.960 best forms of both of themselves. Um. That's that's what 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:27.920 I want, is like I want to like, I want 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:31.000 to find someone who's whose strengths or my weaknesses my weaknesses, 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.960 or there's my strengths or their weaknesses. Um, and we 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:35.359 can just kind of build each other up and grow 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:37.919 off of each other all that kind of stuff. And um, 0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:39.439 you know, not to say that I haven't found that 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:42.200 in people that I've dated, Like Leslie is is so 0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:44.159 strong in areas that I'm so weak, and I'm trust me, 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:46.200 I'm a weak in a lot of areas, but you're 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:48.200 also strong in a lot of areas as well. Give 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:51.160 yourself some credit. Let's focus on the weaknesses though. Um. 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:53.840 But yeah, it's just it's it's a fear. It's a 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:55.640 fear that I need to just kind of continue to 0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:58.199 to conceptualize and realize and understand why it's there and 0:20:58.240 --> 0:20:59.960 hopefully fix it one day and get rid of it 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:03.919 and be comfortable. She she sent me like an article 0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:05.840 of I wish I could pull it up right now. 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:08.080 It's kind of long, but it's like it was saying, like, 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.520 you should never compare relationships to other relationships. You should 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:14.919 never um think about the the one in quotation marks, Um, 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:16.480 you should never do any of that type of stuff 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:18.159 because all that does is pull you away from the 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:20.600 current relationship that you're in. Absolutely should be living in 0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:23.480 the moment right. Absolutely A great because I suffer from 0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:26.080 the same thing where sometimes if I'm starting off dating 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:28.960 somebody ver earli early on that I start projecting into 0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:30.960 the future and thinking, is this person I could spend 0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:32.680 the rest of my life with? And I start thinking 0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:35.160 about that on the second date, and I'm like, Jared, 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:37.960 you're insane. Don't think about that. Just have fun because 0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:41.240 feelings grow, right, like turns into love and then love 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:44.440 changes over time. Um. And that's so that's the thing too. 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:46.480 It's like I was actually thinking about this morning, was like, 0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:49.479 I haven't like insane attachment issues, Like on a second date, 0:21:49.520 --> 0:21:51.240 I'm like, I want to like just blur out I 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:53.040 love you, like that type of stuff. Sometimes. Yeah, And 0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:55.920 then there's also like the mixture in of like, oh, 0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:58.080 like okay, slow down, Like this is you've known this 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:00.000 person for however long and you can't really get that 0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:01.560 far ahead of yourself. And then it's hard because you 0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:05.240 can't tell the difference between love and lust, especially if that, 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:07.120 if it's that early on where you're on the second 0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:08.480 day and you're like, I just want to say I 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:11.560 love you, then it might be just this infatuation rather 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:15.600 than actually strong love feelings. True. Um So that's also 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:17.240 something that you need to think about as well, and 0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:19.840 that we all need to think about. Right well, anyways, 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:23.520 long story short, not going to paradise perfect to I 0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:25.520 don't I doubt they'll let her ask me again I 0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:28.520 once I know if they did. Um So, if any 0:22:28.520 --> 0:22:30.359 of the the producers are listening, just please don't ask that'd 0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:33.000 be great. Thanks. Perfect Well, you're gonna probably gonna get 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:34.800 a phone call right after this after he said that 0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:36.800 the door was closed. Door was closed? All right? On 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:38.520 the show today, we have a matchmaker coming up in 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:40.480 a little bit. You'll be very helpful to all the 0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:43.119 singles listening if they need any advice on finding the 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:46.040 right person. And we have a psychic coming up. He's 0:22:46.040 --> 0:22:47.360 going to be here in just a minute. His name 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:50.320 is Reginald Lewis. And before we get into the psychic, 0:22:50.359 --> 0:22:52.760 I wanted to ask you guys what your level of 0:22:53.000 --> 0:22:57.120 belief skepticism is about the whole thing. Jared, where where 0:22:57.119 --> 0:22:59.520 do you stand with psychics. I've never got I've never 0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:01.639 been to a s kick. I've gotten my palm read before, 0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:04.600 which I think are very two different things. I could 0:23:04.760 --> 0:23:06.800 I'm a skeptic, Like if I'm being honest, I am 0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:09.720 a skeptic because I think, like I've looked into psychics 0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:11.439 a little bit, and there's something called cold reading. Have 0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:13.400 you ever heard of this where it's like they give 0:23:13.440 --> 0:23:15.400 it's pretty much like a film in the blank. And 0:23:15.480 --> 0:23:17.200 so if I ever went to a psychic, I would 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.120 be I would be open to the idea. I wouldn't 0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:22.760 have my doors closed having said that I would go in, 0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:24.760 I wouldn't say anything. I would want them to tell 0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:27.400 me specifics without me answering any questions. But I don't 0:23:27.400 --> 0:23:29.520 really think that's how it works. So I'm not sure. 0:23:29.640 --> 0:23:32.240 But I'm definitely open to the idea of believing a psychic. 0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:35.280 But I am definitely a skeptic, okay. And I think 0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:36.960 Jared and I are very much on the same page 0:23:37.119 --> 0:23:39.560 in that I don't necessarily if I were to go 0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:42.239 to a psychic, no matter the circumstance, I don't think 0:23:42.240 --> 0:23:44.080 I would ever believe what they have to say as gospel. 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:45.520 Like I wouldn't be like if the psychic was like, 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:47.159 in two years, this is gonna happen to you, I 0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:48.560 wouldn't be like, oh, in two years, like I have 0:23:48.600 --> 0:23:50.479 to plan for that because it's happening to me now 0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:54.600 because the psychic told me that. Um, I don't necessarily 0:23:54.640 --> 0:23:59.000 believe in like extra terrestrial, not extra Rassically I'm sorry, 0:23:59.000 --> 0:24:02.040 because I do believe in actually show but like after 0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:04.959 like ghosts, ghosts, I don't believe in so much. If 0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:07.000 they do exist, I don't think they can interact with physical, 0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:10.080 physical things around us. I don't necessarily believe in like 0:24:10.119 --> 0:24:12.399 that type of stuff. I agree. I'm much more of 0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.359 a believer in like energy, that we are filled with 0:24:14.480 --> 0:24:16.760 energy and when we die, our energy would be transferred 0:24:16.760 --> 0:24:19.280 into something else. Whether that means like an afterlife, I'm 0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:22.360 not really sure, or like how are like we could 0:24:22.400 --> 0:24:24.679 be able to connect with the dead or talk to 0:24:24.720 --> 0:24:26.520 the dead. I don't really believe in a lot of 0:24:26.520 --> 0:24:28.480 that stuff. Having said that, I still would never mess 0:24:28.520 --> 0:24:31.439 with Luijibar, just because God forbid if I'm wrong, Like 0:24:31.600 --> 0:24:33.640 it's not even just Stine worth, it not even worth. 0:24:33.640 --> 0:24:34.840 And I think I think a lot of that blows 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:36.920 down to experience because I know Eastern before we even 0:24:37.160 --> 0:24:39.240 started the podcast, had mentioned he was kind of in 0:24:39.280 --> 0:24:41.239 the same boat as Jared and me, and then he 0:24:41.320 --> 0:24:43.960 met with a medium and she completely blew his mind. 0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:46.120 So I think if you experience something that is utterly 0:24:46.119 --> 0:24:48.360 like mind blowing, then that's kind of caused to change 0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:50.720 your mind about certain things with a Long Island medium 0:24:50.840 --> 0:24:53.359 and on the Secret Show, and we didn't set anything 0:24:53.400 --> 0:24:55.679 up ahead of time, there was nothing, We didn't know 0:24:55.680 --> 0:24:57.640 who she was going to talk to in the room anything, 0:24:58.160 --> 0:25:01.240 and she started naming some things that really hit home 0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:03.080 with East and East and take it from there. Yeah, 0:25:03.080 --> 0:25:04.720 it was wild. I wasn't even supposed to be there today. 0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:07.639 I was covering for somebody else and she Um, she 0:25:07.760 --> 0:25:10.280 started talking about she was She was just kind of 0:25:10.280 --> 0:25:11.919 like throwing things out to the room and then she 0:25:12.000 --> 0:25:13.600 looked at me and she said, you had a close 0:25:13.640 --> 0:25:16.520 friend die recently, and uh, and I said, yes, I did. 0:25:16.560 --> 0:25:18.119 And then she told me about my friend that had 0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:20.439 drowned um a couple of years earlier, and it was 0:25:20.520 --> 0:25:22.680 very hard for me to deal with and she got 0:25:22.760 --> 0:25:26.920 very specific. And you know, I'm a I'm a skeptic. 0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:28.520 I didn't. I don't buy that kind of thing, but 0:25:28.560 --> 0:25:32.760 she got really it was very specific, um and so 0:25:32.840 --> 0:25:35.959 that made me like, I left going like, what's you know? 0:25:36.240 --> 0:25:39.119 She's either got a crazy team of Googlers, which is 0:25:39.240 --> 0:25:43.520 equally impressive, or she's tapped into something. Uh and and 0:25:43.760 --> 0:25:45.800 that's on YouTube. So if you want to check out 0:25:45.800 --> 0:25:51.360 my experience, go to on earth Ryan dot com. But yeah, 0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:52.960 it was. It was wild. And now I'm I don't 0:25:52.960 --> 0:25:54.960 know if I'm a believer now, but I'm definitely there's 0:25:54.960 --> 0:25:56.959 something there. I think. I guess I'd have to experience 0:25:56.960 --> 0:25:59.119 for myself before I can say I'm believer, because, like I, 0:25:59.240 --> 0:26:01.200 I do hear stories of people like I never believed 0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:02.439 in that kind of stuff, and then I went to 0:26:02.480 --> 0:26:04.480 one and they blew my mind. I guess maybe I 0:26:04.480 --> 0:26:06.000 just haven't been to one, so it's still hard for 0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:08.600 me to be like, I don't know. Well, let's see 0:26:08.600 --> 0:26:11.000 if he blows your mind. The age old seeing is believing. 0:26:11.119 --> 0:26:15.000 Let's bring him in here. This is Reginald lewis psychic. 0:26:15.480 --> 0:26:16.840 So Reginald, do you mind tell us a little bit 0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:19.400 more about yourself? Yes, So I'm a psych in the medium. 0:26:19.960 --> 0:26:22.080 A lot of people see me on Steve Harvey. You know, 0:26:22.119 --> 0:26:24.400 I've done guests appearance on Steve Harvey. So a lot 0:26:24.400 --> 0:26:26.359 of people want to know what is a psychic in 0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:28.320 the medium. Most people don't understand that, you know. Most 0:26:28.320 --> 0:26:30.639 people want to think about, you know, tarot cards and 0:26:30.640 --> 0:26:32.919 crystal balls, and you think about the old weird gypsy 0:26:33.040 --> 0:26:37.479 lady reading your future. Uh's nothing like that as far 0:26:37.520 --> 0:26:40.240 as the real deal of what a psyching medium is. Basically, 0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:42.919 as a psychic, I'm able to read energy. So if 0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.679 you think about it, we all know physics, everything is energy. 0:26:45.800 --> 0:26:48.199 Everything has a vibration to it, So I just have 0:26:48.280 --> 0:26:50.919 a sensitivity where I can pick up on those frequencies, 0:26:51.160 --> 0:26:53.639 those vibrations and kind of tell stuff about people. You know. 0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:56.080 The next part of it is a medium. Now, a 0:26:56.160 --> 0:26:58.080 medium is a whole another level. So there's a difference 0:26:58.080 --> 0:27:03.960 between a psychic and the medium. As I get reads energy, potential, past, present, future, 0:27:04.320 --> 0:27:07.119 a medium actually connects with spirit, so they actually have 0:27:07.160 --> 0:27:09.600 the ability to connect with our loved ones, you know, 0:27:09.640 --> 0:27:12.320 and those who are around you. So basically that's my work, 0:27:12.359 --> 0:27:14.080 That's what I do. You know, I've been doing over 0:27:14.119 --> 0:27:16.280 ten years. I was born this way. A lot of 0:27:16.320 --> 0:27:18.080 people say, did you go to school for this? You 0:27:18.119 --> 0:27:20.480 know how I was born with it. It's something that's 0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:23.199 actually hereditary for me. I'm Puerto Rican and black. My 0:27:23.240 --> 0:27:27.520 mom's Puertorican, my father's black. Uh, they're very spiritual Catholic 0:27:27.600 --> 0:27:31.280 and Baptist background. For me, it was just something that 0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:33.280 I just naturally had. And as I got older, it 0:27:33.359 --> 0:27:35.800 just became stronger and stronger, and I decided just to 0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:38.720 you know, follow it and embrace it, because, um, I 0:27:38.720 --> 0:27:40.399 tried to run away from it. I'm not gonna be 0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:43.080 you know, I'm not gonna lie. I tried to run 0:27:43.080 --> 0:27:45.679 away from it because doing what I do is not easy. 0:27:46.040 --> 0:27:48.359 When you're being somewhere and you're picking up on stuff, 0:27:48.400 --> 0:27:50.200 a lot of stuff, having to deal with death. Then 0:27:50.520 --> 0:27:52.680 if someone is sad and picking up on other people, 0:27:52.800 --> 0:27:55.400 it's overwhelming. You know. Think about it, your fourteen years old, 0:27:55.560 --> 0:27:58.879 your puberty, and not only you're dealing with your own stuff, 0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:01.119 but you're literally like you have the weight of the 0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:03.359 world around you, you know. And and so as I 0:28:03.400 --> 0:28:06.960 got older, you know, practicing meditation and prayer, studying, I 0:28:06.960 --> 0:28:09.119 start to learn more about my gifts through you know, 0:28:09.280 --> 0:28:13.840 books and studying up about you know, esp and psychic abilities, 0:28:13.880 --> 0:28:16.560 and I learned how to kind of hone it, you know, 0:28:16.640 --> 0:28:18.680 and so that's what I do now, help to council people, 0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:20.720 help people and guide them. Okay, So and that was 0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:22.680 right around you said eighteen nineteen is when you started 0:28:22.680 --> 0:28:24.280 to fully accept it and kind of take it off 0:28:24.280 --> 0:28:27.919 in well, fifteen, actually fifteen in middle school. Was fifteen 0:28:27.920 --> 0:28:30.200 when you first started realizing that you could potentially be 0:28:30.320 --> 0:28:34.840 doing this uh like thing. Yeah, about fifteen, because in 0:28:34.920 --> 0:28:38.640 middle school that's when I started to share with friends, family, 0:28:38.840 --> 0:28:40.080 and then all of a sudden you start to grow 0:28:40.120 --> 0:28:42.280 from there and everyone found out about my gifts. So 0:28:42.720 --> 0:28:43.880 we have to ask you to come in and read 0:28:43.920 --> 0:28:46.160 the room a little bit. You got to mark me, 0:28:46.360 --> 0:28:49.760 Jared Easton, Erica is back there, Erica back there in 0:28:49.800 --> 0:28:52.600 the in the operating room. H um, whatever you call 0:28:52.680 --> 0:28:53.920 I'm not really sure what that thing is called, but 0:28:54.040 --> 0:29:00.400 the pucer. Okay, So I guess just initial energy pickups 0:29:00.400 --> 0:29:03.160 that you get from us walking in here, are we? Yeah? Well, 0:29:03.280 --> 0:29:05.920 first of all, you guys have awesome energy synergy. I 0:29:06.240 --> 0:29:08.640 like to call it awesome connection here. I like that 0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:10.360 it feels like home. It's fine. I feel like I've 0:29:10.360 --> 0:29:17.120 been here before, so I feel extremely comfortable exactly. So 0:29:17.200 --> 0:29:18.720 the way that it works is I actually have an 0:29:18.720 --> 0:29:23.280 ability to read or us. Okay. I discovered this ability 0:29:23.320 --> 0:29:26.400 and all elementary school. So basically, when I would watch 0:29:26.440 --> 0:29:28.760 the teacher up in front of the black chalkboard, I 0:29:28.760 --> 0:29:31.080 would see I would be very distracted. They used to say, 0:29:31.120 --> 0:29:33.360 as you used to daydream and and you know school 0:29:33.400 --> 0:29:36.200 a lot um. I would be distracted by this white 0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:39.520 light around my elementary you know, school teacher. And I'm like, 0:29:39.600 --> 0:29:41.680 what is this white light that's following her, you know, 0:29:42.000 --> 0:29:43.560 and I can see it because she's in front of 0:29:43.560 --> 0:29:47.320 the black chalkboard, which basically emphasized it. Well, I realized 0:29:47.320 --> 0:29:48.640 it's like I older, I kept seeing this more and 0:29:48.640 --> 0:29:51.280 more colors and lights around people. You know. My eyes 0:29:51.560 --> 0:29:54.320 never had any issues, you know with my eyes, nothing 0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:57.000 like that. Well, I find out that I have an 0:29:57.040 --> 0:29:59.120 ability to read or So that's one of the first 0:29:59.120 --> 0:30:02.080 abilities that I found I had as I could read ours. 0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:04.560 So that's the most easiest way for me to connect 0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:06.719 with someone. When I read them, I basically look at 0:30:06.720 --> 0:30:08.960 your ore and basically what ore is your energy field? 0:30:08.960 --> 0:30:11.560 We all have an energy field, Okay, a psychic or 0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:13.959 a sensitive or a medium, they have the ability to 0:30:14.040 --> 0:30:16.880 see it physically with their eyes. And so basically the 0:30:16.960 --> 0:30:20.520 colors represent your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental state of being. 0:30:20.800 --> 0:30:23.240 So I can tell, okay, where are you at emotional? Okay? 0:30:23.280 --> 0:30:26.400 Like when I look at you, for instance, Yeah, when 0:30:26.440 --> 0:30:28.440 I look at you, you have a lot of red 0:30:28.520 --> 0:30:30.400 and blue around you. Okay. So what that shows me 0:30:30.440 --> 0:30:32.800 is red shows a lot of drive, a lot of 0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:35.320 dry sometimes a little too much dry. Sometimes you jump 0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:37.160 in head first and a lot of things and you 0:30:37.240 --> 0:30:39.680 get yourself in trouble and you need to slow down. 0:30:40.040 --> 0:30:41.560 You know. That's the energy I get because you have 0:30:41.600 --> 0:30:43.720 a lot of red, meaning you're always anxious. Are is 0:30:43.720 --> 0:30:45.200 ready to go? It's like, oh, I'm ready to do this, 0:30:45.240 --> 0:30:46.280 I'm ready to go to you know I do have 0:30:46.320 --> 0:30:48.600 a lot of anxiety. Yeah, and it's like slow down, 0:30:48.680 --> 0:30:51.320 slow down. So you know, it's like you need to balance. 0:30:51.360 --> 0:30:53.240 Everyone needs a balance. Sometimes it's bad to have a 0:30:53.240 --> 0:30:55.280 little bit too much of one color, and you know 0:30:55.360 --> 0:30:57.280 you need to have some good things that you have 0:30:57.360 --> 0:31:01.200 blue okay around you, which shows me that you have 0:31:01.240 --> 0:31:02.760 a little bit of balance there where you're trying to 0:31:02.800 --> 0:31:04.719 learn a little be a little be a little bit 0:31:04.720 --> 0:31:07.719 more relaxed, you know, around you. The other thing too, 0:31:07.800 --> 0:31:10.440 that I keep getting is you have a gift for 0:31:10.520 --> 0:31:14.520 writing that you need to exercise more. That keeps coming 0:31:14.600 --> 0:31:17.320 up around you. And also your voice, other than obviously 0:31:17.360 --> 0:31:22.080 doing this um, music comes up around you really really strong. Okay, 0:31:22.120 --> 0:31:24.120 that comes up extremely strong. That's something I feel that 0:31:24.120 --> 0:31:27.160 you need to exercise more. Do you play any instruments 0:31:27.240 --> 0:31:28.880 or anything like that? I don't. I did when I 0:31:28.880 --> 0:31:32.120 was little, but i've since What did you play? I 0:31:32.240 --> 0:31:36.240 was a first chair recorder in first chair, Uh, I 0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:38.320 don't know, some other instrument in like fifth grade or 0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:43.360 something like that, and everybody at first chair recording might 0:31:43.400 --> 0:31:46.440 have been a specialist chair. But no, it's been a 0:31:46.440 --> 0:31:48.960 while since I've actually practiced the musical instrument. What about writing? 0:31:49.320 --> 0:31:52.120 Uh No, I don't really write that much either. Yeah, 0:31:52.160 --> 0:31:53.640 that's what you need to do. But that's you're saying that. 0:31:53.640 --> 0:31:56.240 He's saying that I should. Yeah, exactly do because what 0:31:56.360 --> 0:31:58.280 I see one of my gifts is telling other people 0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:01.240 gifts and talents that thing, do your size more, and 0:32:01.280 --> 0:32:02.800 I'm seeing that with you. I can see it's kind 0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:04.720 of repressed because it's like a pale blue. So the 0:32:04.760 --> 0:32:06.800 fact that it's not a very strong blue that shows 0:32:06.840 --> 0:32:08.960 this is something that you need to emphasize the strength 0:32:09.000 --> 0:32:11.800 that you need to work more on, you know, And 0:32:11.800 --> 0:32:13.520 I think as you do it, it's going to help 0:32:13.560 --> 0:32:15.360 you in other areas of your work. Because you're definitely 0:32:15.400 --> 0:32:17.000 meant to be a writer. I don't see you writing 0:32:17.000 --> 0:32:18.520 in a book or anything like that. I don't see 0:32:18.560 --> 0:32:21.400 that around you, but I definitely see you writing more material. 0:32:21.520 --> 0:32:24.280 You're like producing something like that. I see you doing 0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:26.360 that more of that. I read some pretty good instagram captions. 0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:28.840 Every once in a while, I'll see my own horn 0:32:28.840 --> 0:32:34.360 for a second. Gift, Um, what about what about Jared? 0:32:34.480 --> 0:32:37.080 Well before? Where do you see these colors? Questions? I'm 0:32:37.120 --> 0:32:39.040 so interested, Like when you look at Dean, where do 0:32:39.120 --> 0:32:40.840 you see like the red and the blue? How do 0:32:40.880 --> 0:32:43.080 you yea? So it's a flash. It's almost like it's 0:32:43.080 --> 0:32:45.600 a flash. Sometimes I can see you physically sometimes in 0:32:45.760 --> 0:32:48.040 my mind's eye, you know, and it's like a flash. 0:32:48.080 --> 0:32:50.800 I'll see red or blue or orange. It it flashes 0:32:51.040 --> 0:32:53.440 around individual. Now when I look at you, when you 0:32:53.520 --> 0:32:56.920 ask that, I kept seeing orange orange flashing, which is 0:32:57.160 --> 0:33:02.880 you're extremely creative. I'm actually on fire right now. You 0:33:02.920 --> 0:33:07.640 know you're extremely creative. You have all extremely strong creative 0:33:07.760 --> 0:33:10.040 energy about you, Okay. And one of the things I 0:33:10.080 --> 0:33:13.200 see is that you love traveling. Traveling is a major 0:33:13.520 --> 0:33:15.560 thing with you, okay. And I see you doing a 0:33:15.560 --> 0:33:17.080 lot of traveling. And I just heard this in the 0:33:17.120 --> 0:33:23.520 next two months. So this is what April June June time. Okay, 0:33:23.680 --> 0:33:25.640 I do see you doing some traveling that comes up 0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:27.320 around you. So I know there's a trip or something 0:33:27.320 --> 0:33:29.480 that you have planned. But I see this coming up 0:33:29.520 --> 0:33:31.400 around you around in June because it feels like some 0:33:31.480 --> 0:33:33.520 traveling something coming up around you. Now I want to 0:33:33.560 --> 0:33:35.640 go back to you for some reason, because what happens 0:33:35.640 --> 0:33:36.960 is I'll get put. So I have to go to 0:33:37.000 --> 0:33:39.520 where I'm being put. It's where do your parents live? 0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:42.800 Not live like in the same state. My mom passed away, 0:33:42.840 --> 0:33:45.720 but my father lives in Colorado, okay. Because I kept 0:33:45.720 --> 0:33:48.400 picking up on an energy of a parent that's in 0:33:48.440 --> 0:33:50.840 a different state, okay, And I kept feeling the energy 0:33:50.840 --> 0:33:54.440 of visitation or visiting Okay. Uh, this kept coming up 0:33:54.440 --> 0:33:56.640 really strong. So that kept coming up. Now you said 0:33:56.680 --> 0:33:59.720 your mom has passed, Okay, when I hear first names 0:33:59.720 --> 0:34:02.040 that me to actually connect. So if you just say 0:34:02.040 --> 0:34:04.400 a first name for me, her name is Debbie okay, 0:34:04.440 --> 0:34:08.040 Debbie okay um okay, wow is it? Does she have 0:34:08.080 --> 0:34:11.520 a brother? Do's de cease this? Well? I don't. Maybe 0:34:11.920 --> 0:34:14.560 I'm not close with that. I'm not close. Okay, she 0:34:14.640 --> 0:34:17.840 got assisted that's pasted, okay, because I kept feeling sibling 0:34:17.880 --> 0:34:19.920 next her. I also kept picking up at brother energy 0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:21.879 and spirit next to her as well. Okay, that kept 0:34:21.920 --> 0:34:23.759 coming through. I know I had an uncle or two 0:34:23.800 --> 0:34:27.880 and I'm not sure about there. They're okay, Um, I 0:34:27.920 --> 0:34:31.480 do feel mom. Mom's energy is around you a lot. Um. 0:34:31.520 --> 0:34:33.799 It's quite interesting because she keeps bringing up the month 0:34:33.800 --> 0:34:36.759 of May. Okay, So she keeps ringing up the May 0:34:36.800 --> 0:34:39.040 connection okay, so that she's me celebration that comes up 0:34:39.080 --> 0:34:42.400 in May really strong with her also as well. This 0:34:42.480 --> 0:34:45.000 is interesting, keep hearing this, um. But she also keeps 0:34:45.000 --> 0:34:48.319 mentioning connection to a Sarah okay um on her side 0:34:48.320 --> 0:34:50.720 of the family. So this is blood relations okay, Sarah, 0:34:50.880 --> 0:34:52.520 connection to her side of line that she keeps in 0:34:52.640 --> 0:34:57.279 living not deceased okay living. Um. Also, the other thing 0:34:57.320 --> 0:34:59.080 she keeps showing me as a dog. There's a dog 0:34:59.120 --> 0:35:01.840 that's in the spirit that's actually around her, which is 0:35:01.880 --> 0:35:05.160 really interesting. So this someone had lost a dog at 0:35:05.200 --> 0:35:06.680 some point, and I feel like this is a while back, 0:35:06.719 --> 0:35:08.719 so this is not even feel recent. I feel like 0:35:08.719 --> 0:35:10.640 this would have been a dog that they ceased a 0:35:10.680 --> 0:35:12.479 long time ago. We had a family dog, I guess 0:35:12.520 --> 0:35:16.279 that passed away, what eight years ago ago? Okay, And 0:35:16.760 --> 0:35:18.719 I feel like I see this dog running around her. 0:35:18.800 --> 0:35:20.719 So I do pick up on pats too as well, 0:35:21.160 --> 0:35:24.799 that it's true that dogs go to happen too. We 0:35:24.840 --> 0:35:27.399 always we always like to assume that. Um no, I mean, yeah, 0:35:27.400 --> 0:35:28.680 we had a we had a dog growing up, a 0:35:28.680 --> 0:35:30.839 miniature long hair dogs and my mom definitely loved her 0:35:30.880 --> 0:35:33.400 to the fullix extent that anyone could love an animal. 0:35:33.440 --> 0:35:35.480 So yeah, I'm sure that's what you're talking about. Yeah, 0:35:35.480 --> 0:35:37.840 this dog is with her because I kept seeing running 0:35:37.840 --> 0:35:40.239 around this woman around her. The other thing too, which 0:35:40.280 --> 0:35:43.080 is interesting, is I come from a Catholic background. Okay. 0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:47.320 For some reason, I keep feeling a Catholic connection coming through. Okay, 0:35:47.320 --> 0:35:53.160 So mom was mother of a Catholic background, she was Presbyterian, Okay, okay, Um, 0:35:53.200 --> 0:35:57.120 because she kept showing me. I kept seeing rosary beats. Okay, 0:35:57.239 --> 0:35:59.520 I kept literalte rosary. So this will you know that 0:35:59.600 --> 0:36:04.360 someone actually have a cross of hers okay, a rosaries 0:36:04.400 --> 0:36:06.120 of hers? What you know who would have that? My 0:36:06.160 --> 0:36:09.440 sister probably has something like that, Okay, I guess she 0:36:09.520 --> 0:36:11.560 keeps referring to that. The other thing, too, is she 0:36:11.640 --> 0:36:14.000 keeps showing sports around you. Okay, so I don't early 0:36:14.040 --> 0:36:18.920 if you played like football, okay, football, basketball, because I 0:36:18.960 --> 0:36:21.000 feel like this is one of her like major memories 0:36:21.040 --> 0:36:23.000 of you is sports. And I keep saying I kept 0:36:23.000 --> 0:36:26.000 seeing football in particularly for some reason. So it seems 0:36:26.000 --> 0:36:28.200 like for something she has a major connection with you 0:36:28.800 --> 0:36:32.520 and and sports or remembering you with sports. The only 0:36:32.600 --> 0:36:33.960 I guess remember that I could think of it was 0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:37.720 actually passed her passing. But on the anniversary of her death. 0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:39.640 When I was a senior, it was like a senior 0:36:39.760 --> 0:36:42.160 night football game and I had, like I just remember 0:36:42.239 --> 0:36:44.479 I had like a nine yard touchdown catch or something, 0:36:44.480 --> 0:36:46.920 and I remember I was across the end zone. I 0:36:46.960 --> 0:36:48.440 remember like pointing up to this guy and I was like, 0:36:48.520 --> 0:36:50.040 oh my mom had my back on that one. Like 0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:51.480 it was just kind of a cool connection that we had. 0:36:51.480 --> 0:36:53.160 It was like three months after she three years after 0:36:53.200 --> 0:36:56.440 she passed um. But in terms of her watching, I mean, 0:36:56.440 --> 0:36:58.040 she definitely came to all my sporting events, but I 0:36:58.040 --> 0:37:00.799 was definitely never much of a highlight, real guy. But 0:37:00.840 --> 0:37:02.480 it doesn't matter. You know, A mom is a mom. 0:37:02.560 --> 0:37:04.719 You know. Moms are always your biggest fan, no matter what. 0:37:04.920 --> 0:37:06.680 And so this is her way of showing that she 0:37:06.800 --> 0:37:10.320 still is your biggest fan, you know, and she's rooting 0:37:10.320 --> 0:37:12.640 for you, you know, and she's just very proud. She's 0:37:12.680 --> 0:37:17.040 extremely proud. That's great. So I'm gonna leave you with that. 0:37:17.280 --> 0:37:18.920 I'm sucker. I don't know. I don't even know how if. 0:37:18.920 --> 0:37:23.040 I don't even know if I can continue right now, 0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:24.560 you know. And the funny thing, you know, I'm not 0:37:24.560 --> 0:37:27.400 gonna lie. I can tell people who are skeptical and 0:37:27.480 --> 0:37:31.040 not skeptical or in between, and I always say skeptical 0:37:31.040 --> 0:37:32.960 it is a great thing to be. I'm very skeptical. 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:35.040 Anyone who tells me they're just like, I mean, I'm like, yeah, whatever, 0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:37.440 show I prove, you know, prove it I want, you know, 0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:40.600 I don't I take it. I take my work very serious, 0:37:40.880 --> 0:37:42.960 you know, And I tell people it's great to be 0:37:42.960 --> 0:37:46.640 a skeptic. You know, don't ever just believe anything and everything, 0:37:47.000 --> 0:37:48.839 but don't don't be a cynic. It's a difference between 0:37:48.840 --> 0:37:50.439 a skeptic and a cynic, you know what I mean. 0:37:50.760 --> 0:37:53.080 As long as you're if you're skeptical and you're open minded, 0:37:53.120 --> 0:37:54.640 I can read you and I can connect. That's not 0:37:54.680 --> 0:37:57.000 even a problem. Like with you, I did feel a 0:37:57.040 --> 0:37:59.879 little bit like hmmm, I don't know, I don't know. 0:38:00.400 --> 0:38:02.520 But then I saw your or a change. I saw 0:38:02.560 --> 0:38:05.520 you shift, so it's like, wow, okay, you know what. Okay, 0:38:05.520 --> 0:38:09.280 I think it's something here. I can feel your energy shift, 0:38:09.360 --> 0:38:11.080 like I can actually tell when the person is kind 0:38:11.080 --> 0:38:14.080 of shifting or their perspective on what I do, which 0:38:14.120 --> 0:38:16.520 is really great. Um, I do want to connect with 0:38:16.520 --> 0:38:18.960 you with me yeah, okay, I don't want to connect 0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:22.520 with you. Mark for the listening, Thank you. There's two 0:38:22.600 --> 0:38:25.279 energies that's actually coming through for you. Um there's a 0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:27.840 grandfather energy that comes through Okay. I feel like this 0:38:27.880 --> 0:38:30.560 is on maternal side. Okay, that's coming through with you 0:38:30.880 --> 0:38:34.239 and I get a very extremely strong military connection that 0:38:34.320 --> 0:38:37.040 keeps coming up Okay around him. So you have a 0:38:37.080 --> 0:38:39.880 father grandfather that he seas in your mom's side. Yes, Okay, 0:38:40.080 --> 0:38:43.840 he had military background. I don't think he did. Okay, 0:38:43.960 --> 0:38:46.560 my father was in the military. Okay, So okay, your 0:38:46.600 --> 0:38:50.239 father he's alive. Okay. So what I'm picking up is 0:38:50.280 --> 0:38:53.000 on two energies at the same time. Okay, Um, I'm 0:38:53.040 --> 0:38:55.480 definitely getting military connection comes to in American flag, which 0:38:55.480 --> 0:39:00.000 also a law enforcement military connection that keeps coming through. Um, 0:39:00.120 --> 0:39:02.640 your grandfather comes through definitely your mom's side. He comes 0:39:02.640 --> 0:39:04.799 through a lot. Now, did you not have a very 0:39:04.800 --> 0:39:08.680 close relationship with him, because okay, great, because I get 0:39:08.680 --> 0:39:11.120 this energy of him being distant, but it's like he 0:39:11.120 --> 0:39:14.160 knows you, but I feel like you don't know him. Okay, 0:39:14.520 --> 0:39:16.080 I don't know him except that I know that I'm 0:39:16.080 --> 0:39:18.440 going to have his hairline. So I look at pictures 0:39:18.440 --> 0:39:21.320 of him sometimes because that's my because your mom's father 0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:23.360 is your hairline, and so I'm watching for that and 0:39:23.400 --> 0:39:25.480 it's not gonna be pretty. Yeah, but he was bringing 0:39:25.520 --> 0:39:28.080 that up, that relationship. Okay, I didn't feel very close 0:39:28.200 --> 0:39:30.839 because I actually that with him, But he's there, and 0:39:30.960 --> 0:39:32.319 you know, whether he was close to him or not, 0:39:32.719 --> 0:39:35.120 he's there with you in spirit. Is actually a guiding 0:39:35.719 --> 0:39:39.040 uh force or a guiding spirit with you, whether you 0:39:39.080 --> 0:39:41.520 realize it or not. Um. The other thing too comes up. 0:39:41.600 --> 0:39:44.040 You have a daughter, I do, okay, because your daughter 0:39:44.120 --> 0:39:46.560 energy kept coming up. So just letting you guys know 0:39:46.600 --> 0:39:48.919 how here this, I literally will hear words in my head. 0:39:49.080 --> 0:39:52.160 So I'll get daughter energy, dog energy, mom energy, and 0:39:52.200 --> 0:39:55.360 then I'll get concepts and words and feelings. Have two daughters. Okay, 0:39:55.640 --> 0:39:57.799 I kept pringing daughter with you. Okay, so I want 0:39:57.800 --> 0:40:00.960 to go to maybe older daughter energy. Okay, school and 0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:03.640 keeps coming up around her for some reason. Okay, college 0:40:03.719 --> 0:40:05.919 or school and graduation comes up. So did your older 0:40:05.960 --> 0:40:08.760 daughter just literally like graduate or she's going in schooling 0:40:08.840 --> 0:40:11.319 because the program or something keeps coming up. This this 0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:13.480 is what this could be is next week she's going 0:40:13.520 --> 0:40:16.680 to outdoor school where she has to spend three nights 0:40:16.719 --> 0:40:19.719 away from home. And that's a very stressful thing for 0:40:19.840 --> 0:40:22.239 all of us because she has anxiety issues, she has 0:40:22.360 --> 0:40:25.040 nighttime issues, sleep issues, and we're really concerned about how 0:40:25.080 --> 0:40:27.040 that's going to go next week. And this is the 0:40:27.040 --> 0:40:30.880 first time that she's not staying at home. Yes, okay, 0:40:30.960 --> 0:40:33.120 because that I feel that around her, I got daughter energy. 0:40:33.160 --> 0:40:35.600 I kept hearing school, school and energy and literally heard 0:40:35.640 --> 0:40:38.240 it and felt it. They call it outdoor school. Okay, 0:40:38.280 --> 0:40:41.759 perfect Um. I feel like she's gonna be okay, Like 0:40:41.800 --> 0:40:43.200 I feel like parents are going to be parents. We 0:40:43.239 --> 0:40:45.640 all know that, but she's gonna be okay. I think 0:40:45.640 --> 0:40:48.400 I feel like she can handle this. I feel like 0:40:48.480 --> 0:40:50.200 she can handle this. But I think the thing with 0:40:50.360 --> 0:40:53.560 her is this is obviously something completely new for her. 0:40:53.680 --> 0:40:56.000 Obviously with anything new is it's going to be nervous 0:40:56.120 --> 0:40:58.960 and there's going to be some anxiety. But I think 0:40:59.000 --> 0:41:01.680 this is something that she's been wanting to do for 0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:04.160 quite some times. She is excited about it. Yeah, so 0:41:04.360 --> 0:41:06.000 for her to get there. When she actually gets there, 0:41:06.000 --> 0:41:07.719 I feel like she's going to fall in love with 0:41:07.800 --> 0:41:10.719 it and she's going to come back with so many 0:41:10.760 --> 0:41:14.320 great stories and it's going to be just an awesome experience. 0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:17.480 I just get that with her. How do you typically 0:41:17.520 --> 0:41:20.399 practice this this gift of yours? Is it mostly via TV? 0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:22.719 Is it? Um? Like? I don't know, Like, how do 0:41:22.760 --> 0:41:24.520 you get introducing new people that kind of Well? I 0:41:24.600 --> 0:41:27.200 have a private practice. So what happened with me is 0:41:27.239 --> 0:41:30.120 how I first got my exposure is doing missing person cases. 0:41:31.600 --> 0:41:35.400 So that's how I actually started getting exposure in the public, 0:41:35.440 --> 0:41:37.359 so you would work with like the law enforcement used 0:41:37.360 --> 0:41:40.360 to work with law enforcement, yes, over yeah, national working 0:41:40.400 --> 0:41:42.319 with law enforcement. In the way that that began is 0:41:42.560 --> 0:41:45.560 there was a show on ANY called Psychic Kids or 0:41:45.560 --> 0:41:48.120 Psychic Children, and some of you might might remember that, 0:41:48.200 --> 0:41:51.319 maybe maybe not, but they had a few seasons on 0:41:51.360 --> 0:41:53.480 Any and it was called Psychic Kids. Were basically they 0:41:53.480 --> 0:41:56.239 would go to these kids that were gifted, you know, 0:41:56.400 --> 0:41:58.600 and they would talk to their parents who didn't understand 0:41:58.600 --> 0:42:01.279 the gift to help them to understand gifts and abilities. Well, 0:42:01.320 --> 0:42:04.160 there was this one episode. I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. UM. 0:42:04.200 --> 0:42:06.400 There was this one episode that was actually in Ohio, 0:42:06.920 --> 0:42:10.080 and these two kids were working with a psyche detective 0:42:10.120 --> 0:42:13.160 that was really well known across the nation. And first, 0:42:13.280 --> 0:42:15.560 first off, I was very excited because it was in 0:42:15.600 --> 0:42:18.480 Ohio and I never met anyone with my gift my age. 0:42:18.520 --> 0:42:22.600 One was eighteen years old, another one was probably fifteen. UM. 0:42:22.719 --> 0:42:24.319 And first of all, they were in Ohio and they 0:42:24.320 --> 0:42:26.319 were gifted my age. So when the show was over with, 0:42:26.840 --> 0:42:28.600 I have to find these people. I had to find 0:42:28.640 --> 0:42:31.600 this lady. I went on Google, I went online. I 0:42:31.600 --> 0:42:34.400 found the woman who was on the show. Um, I 0:42:34.400 --> 0:42:35.600 reached out to it and I told her about my 0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:38.480 gifts and abilities. She contacted me within twenty four hours. 0:42:38.719 --> 0:42:40.560 She said, I want you to work on the case. 0:42:40.880 --> 0:42:42.600 So what she did is she gave me two pictures 0:42:42.640 --> 0:42:44.879 of cases that they already worked on that they had 0:42:44.920 --> 0:42:48.440 notes on. She said, just sit write notes, whatever, whatever 0:42:48.480 --> 0:42:50.000 you get, just sit there and write it. Then sent 0:42:50.080 --> 0:42:51.720 it back to me. So I'm a little bit nervous 0:42:51.719 --> 0:42:53.600 because I've never done anything, like what do I do? 0:42:53.760 --> 0:42:55.960 So the only thing I know is meditation. So I 0:42:56.000 --> 0:42:58.799 sit there with these pictures a meditating. I write these 0:42:58.840 --> 0:43:01.759 notes down, I said them back to her. She comes back, 0:43:01.840 --> 0:43:04.560 she shows me their notes and my notes, compare them 0:43:04.880 --> 0:43:09.200 and literally they're all the same. My notes and they're 0:43:09.200 --> 0:43:12.080 notes so the same. So that really opened up my eyes, 0:43:12.120 --> 0:43:14.000 the fact that I was able to pick up on 0:43:14.040 --> 0:43:15.680 stuff that I had no idea what I was doing. 0:43:15.880 --> 0:43:18.439 So she took me under as an apprentice. And she's 0:43:18.440 --> 0:43:20.839 a very well known, you know, psychedective girl, Saint John 0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:22.920 that's actually her name, if anyone was to look. And 0:43:23.040 --> 0:43:25.520 she took me under his apprentice, and uh, one of 0:43:25.560 --> 0:43:27.440 the most well known cases that we worked almost the 0:43:27.480 --> 0:43:31.160 Kaylie Anthony case, you know. And the crazy thing about 0:43:31.160 --> 0:43:33.120 this at the time, UM, I used to go on 0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:35.719 site for the cases of Search and Rescue team. I 0:43:35.719 --> 0:43:37.560 couldn't go on site with that because I was in 0:43:37.600 --> 0:43:40.520 college at that time, but I worked at a distance. UM. 0:43:40.640 --> 0:43:43.640 They were in you know, Florida at that time, and 0:43:43.760 --> 0:43:48.360 there's a video where they located the body. They located 0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:50.880 the location of the body, which was discovered I think 0:43:50.920 --> 0:43:54.120 it was probably three weeks later, and my notes and 0:43:54.160 --> 0:43:58.719 everything were saved and we documented everything. Uh and all 0:43:58.719 --> 0:44:04.400 the notes on my says you know, garbage bag, wht area, field, everything, 0:44:04.640 --> 0:44:07.720 and this is recorded. It's it was showed. It showed 0:44:07.760 --> 0:44:10.239 like this is where she's at. You know, she was 0:44:10.239 --> 0:44:12.640 discovered you know, three weeks or whatever, you know, in 0:44:12.640 --> 0:44:15.640 this field in the bag. And that's actually on YouTube. 0:44:15.840 --> 0:44:18.120 So you can't deny something like that, you know, the 0:44:18.160 --> 0:44:20.960 fact that we worked on this, we recorded everything. Three 0:44:20.960 --> 0:44:23.520 weeks later, they find a body and it's everything that 0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:26.799 we said. Quick question before we wrap Erica back there. 0:44:27.760 --> 0:44:30.120 She has a first date this week, a second date 0:44:30.200 --> 0:44:33.799 this week, and has a crush on her orthodonta, her 0:44:34.000 --> 0:44:37.759 orthodonic surgeon. Whatever you call it oral surgeon seven a 0:44:37.760 --> 0:44:39.919 good week. So the question is which of those three 0:44:40.000 --> 0:44:42.600 iff Any is the man for her. The truth is 0:44:42.640 --> 0:44:46.120 it is none of them. She's still independent. She's like, 0:44:46.160 --> 0:44:48.479 I don't want a man. If hey, car, She's like, alright, 0:44:48.560 --> 0:44:50.360 just don't go on the dates. Then it's not the issue. 0:44:50.400 --> 0:44:52.040 I really don't want a man right now because like 0:44:52.120 --> 0:44:54.560 you want a man, but you're independent, you don't. The 0:44:54.640 --> 0:44:56.520 thing is you don't. You don't want to settle right now, 0:44:56.800 --> 0:44:58.200 as much as you want to, man, I know you 0:44:58.200 --> 0:45:00.480 don't want to settle right now. Tell me in my line, No, 0:45:00.560 --> 0:45:02.279 you're not on at all. This is the conversation I 0:45:02.320 --> 0:45:07.319 had with myself exactly meditating. All right, REGI, well, thank 0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:08.600 you so much for coming in. Is there anything that 0:45:08.600 --> 0:45:09.960 you're working on right now that you want to let 0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:13.040 the listeners know about. Well, I have a new website launching. 0:45:13.200 --> 0:45:16.040 So my website is Reginald Lewis dot com. That was 0:45:16.160 --> 0:45:18.719 my name, Reginald Lewis dot com. People can follow me 0:45:18.719 --> 0:45:22.680 on social media Twitter, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Reginald Lewis, Reginald 0:45:22.719 --> 0:45:26.839 Lewis Medium. It's not hard to find me, so very awesome, awesome, Well, 0:45:26.840 --> 0:45:29.239 thank you so much for joining us. Great, thank you. 0:45:30.000 --> 0:45:31.400 I think you mentioned it. Both Jared and I were 0:45:31.400 --> 0:45:33.040 skeptics coming in. I think Mark was a little bit 0:45:33.040 --> 0:45:36.160 as well. But it's uh, it's always a humbling experience 0:45:36.200 --> 0:45:39.160 to hear something spoken about yourself that you definitely shouldn't know. 0:45:40.160 --> 0:45:41.520 But thank you so much for coming in. Honestly, it 0:45:41.560 --> 0:45:44.320 was al would we love to have you back sometime? 0:45:44.360 --> 0:45:48.359 So great, Yeah, thank you, thanks mat So Gean, how 0:45:48.360 --> 0:45:50.800 do you feel after Reggie. I'm gonna be honest with you, guys, 0:45:51.160 --> 0:45:54.640 I'm still pretty skeptical about same here. Reggie was awesome. 0:45:54.680 --> 0:45:56.839 I loved his vibe. There were certain things that I 0:45:56.920 --> 0:45:58.799 really enjoyed listening to him about, and I think it's 0:45:58.880 --> 0:46:02.239 very knowledgeable. Having said that, there were just you know, 0:46:02.800 --> 0:46:05.600 with anybody who's the psychic there there's just a lot 0:46:05.640 --> 0:46:08.480 of like, oh is there you know, there's a daughter 0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:10.200 or there's a mom, and there's a father, and it's 0:46:10.280 --> 0:46:15.279 very you know, very general general assumptions about people like, 0:46:15.480 --> 0:46:17.160 for instance, to look at Marc, he's the wedding ring, 0:46:17.160 --> 0:46:20.279 you're married, you probably have a daughter, that type of stuff. Again, 0:46:20.320 --> 0:46:21.880 not to take anything away from me, because he he 0:46:21.920 --> 0:46:23.960 is incredible and you can definitely I feel like I 0:46:24.000 --> 0:46:26.280 obviously don't sense oras like he does, but I definitely 0:46:26.280 --> 0:46:28.000 sense an aura about him when he walks into the room, 0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:30.520 like they're comfortable with it in here. I am less 0:46:30.520 --> 0:46:32.560 of a skeptic than I was prior to when he 0:46:32.600 --> 0:46:35.000 walked in the room. I will say that, like, I'm 0:46:35.280 --> 0:46:37.080 a little bit more open to it. Having said that, 0:46:37.120 --> 0:46:40.640 it wasn't like my entire viewpoint was just changed. I agree. 0:46:41.320 --> 0:46:43.759 He kind of leads you to it and lets you 0:46:43.800 --> 0:46:46.160 fill in the blanks, right, It's exactly. And so that 0:46:46.239 --> 0:46:47.840 was the only issue I had, even like with the 0:46:47.840 --> 0:46:49.840 grandfather thing with the military and you're like, well, no, 0:46:49.960 --> 0:46:54.120 my father, Okay, it's like, well that's you know, it's 0:46:54.200 --> 0:46:58.560 kind of connected. I don't know, but yeah, all around, 0:46:58.640 --> 0:47:02.040 I definitely see the appeal. I think maybe, uh maybe 0:47:02.040 --> 0:47:03.719 the more like session more the more time you spend 0:47:03.760 --> 0:47:05.120 with him, I'm sure like the more accurate he could 0:47:05.120 --> 0:47:06.719 become reading you. It's it's hard to walk into a 0:47:06.760 --> 0:47:09.360 room cold like that, I'm sure and say that you this, this, this, 0:47:09.360 --> 0:47:11.239 and this, especially in the room with four guys, right, 0:47:11.280 --> 0:47:13.000 So he's probably getting a lot of different vibes a 0:47:13.040 --> 0:47:14.799 lot of different ras, so it's kind of coming at 0:47:14.840 --> 0:47:16.880 him very quickly and then he's on the you know, 0:47:17.000 --> 0:47:20.000 on the mic, having to do it right in the spot. So, UM, 0:47:20.040 --> 0:47:22.080 it would be something that I would be interested in 0:47:22.160 --> 0:47:25.719 doing one on one, like meeting him in person and 0:47:25.760 --> 0:47:28.320 seeing how he's talked to everybody. I would be open 0:47:28.360 --> 0:47:30.719 to the idea of of meeting with him one on 0:47:30.719 --> 0:47:34.120 one to get a better sense of what he's vibing 0:47:34.160 --> 0:47:37.520 with me. Yeah, I agree with that. So yeah, So 0:47:37.560 --> 0:47:40.399 that was Reggie Lewis. Um again, great guy. I think. 0:47:40.400 --> 0:47:43.200 Next up we have Nora, who is a matchmaker with 0:47:43.480 --> 0:47:45.520 the three day Rule. UM. One thing I want to 0:47:45.520 --> 0:47:47.879 talk to you guys about before jumping in with Nora, though, 0:47:48.239 --> 0:47:49.839 is Beach Body on Demand. And I know you guys 0:47:49.840 --> 0:47:52.239 have heard me talk about it before. Basically what it 0:47:52.320 --> 0:47:54.600 is is on demand workouts in your house wherever you 0:47:54.640 --> 0:47:57.600 are on the go. Um. I personally, like I think 0:47:57.600 --> 0:47:59.000 we mentioned at the top of this podcast, I was 0:47:59.040 --> 0:48:01.080 just traving through India for seventeen days and one of 0:48:01.080 --> 0:48:03.680 my big things that I'm trying to focus on more 0:48:03.719 --> 0:48:05.920 and more is is to just kind of be active 0:48:05.920 --> 0:48:07.719 and be fit. And I'm not doing a very good job. 0:48:07.760 --> 0:48:09.520 But Beach Body makes that a lot easier, especially when 0:48:09.520 --> 0:48:11.880 you're traveling internationally. Um. You know, it's hard to wake 0:48:11.960 --> 0:48:13.400 up in a different country, would in a hotel that 0:48:13.440 --> 0:48:15.279 doesn't maybe have a jam or anything like that, but 0:48:15.520 --> 0:48:17.880 Beach Body lets you do that. Um. They have hundreds 0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:20.080 of effective workouts for all fitness levels, ranging from like 0:48:20.120 --> 0:48:23.520 bodybuilding to weightlifting to cardio, even dance workouts. Because I'm 0:48:23.520 --> 0:48:26.040 trying to work on my uh my ballet ballet a 0:48:26.040 --> 0:48:28.319 little bit, I've seen him practice in the corner. He's 0:48:28.360 --> 0:48:31.280 quite good. It's getting better, it's getting better, and I perfect. 0:48:31.360 --> 0:48:33.640 I owe. That's a Beach Body. Um. But again, the 0:48:33.640 --> 0:48:35.560 biggest appeal to me personally is that you have access 0:48:35.560 --> 0:48:38.040 to it anytime, anywhere. You can watch on your computer, 0:48:38.120 --> 0:48:41.120 your tablet, your TV, your smartphone, your Roku, your Apple TV, 0:48:41.200 --> 0:48:42.600 all that stuff. I really want you guys to give 0:48:42.600 --> 0:48:44.719 it a try as well. I promise you won't regret it. Uh. 0:48:44.760 --> 0:48:47.200 There's definitely something to be said about this, just because 0:48:47.200 --> 0:48:48.879 it's been around for so long and so many people 0:48:48.880 --> 0:48:51.720 swear by it, myself included. So be sure to text 0:48:51.840 --> 0:48:55.120 Dean to thirty thirty. That's d E A N to 0:48:55.320 --> 0:48:57.719 three zero three zero three zero. You'll get your free 0:48:57.719 --> 0:48:59.560 trial membership. I promise you're gonna love it enough that 0:48:59.560 --> 0:49:01.920 you're gonna on or renew, You're gonna pay for the subscription. 0:49:01.920 --> 0:49:04.120 You're gonna be looking good in time four summer. They 0:49:04.160 --> 0:49:07.000 see page two here the program matrix, the program. There's 0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:09.080 so much good stuff on here. I mean, look, it's 0:49:09.440 --> 0:49:11.040 a sample of some of the things that you get 0:49:11.080 --> 0:49:14.120 access to, like the one Day Fixed and P ninety X. 0:49:14.160 --> 0:49:16.799 I mean it's program forty five minutes a day, seven 0:49:16.880 --> 0:49:19.000 days a week. You got body Beast, you got a 0:49:19.080 --> 0:49:23.480 yoga treatment Focus. I mean all this stuff with legit 0:49:23.640 --> 0:49:27.319 trainers names, you know, and it's all available to you 0:49:27.400 --> 0:49:29.640 wherever you go. That's the coolest thing too, because like 0:49:29.680 --> 0:49:31.560 I find it difficult to have time to go to 0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:33.200 the gym, but if I could just work off from home, 0:49:33.320 --> 0:49:35.640 then there saves me the time. Right there. Likes the gym, 0:49:35.719 --> 0:49:37.960 Let's be honest, no, I hate it. It's it's disgusting. 0:49:38.000 --> 0:49:39.319 I go in there and some guys let in like 0:49:39.320 --> 0:49:41.040 three pounds, and I'm like, I'm just gonna go on 0:49:41.080 --> 0:49:42.520 the treadmill for a half hour and get the hell 0:49:42.560 --> 0:49:44.360 out of here. I'm not just saying this for the 0:49:44.360 --> 0:49:46.760 sake of saying it. I did definitely, I literally cancel 0:49:46.800 --> 0:49:49.560 my gym membership. I'm just I can't do the gym anymore. 0:49:49.719 --> 0:49:51.520 You don't need it anymore with beach Body, and that's 0:49:51.560 --> 0:49:54.239 a great thing. Locker rooms. I mean, there's so much 0:49:54.280 --> 0:49:56.400 to deal with at the gym. You don't have to 0:49:56.480 --> 0:49:58.759 anymore because you got beach Body at home, and not 0:49:58.920 --> 0:50:00.920 just at home, wherever, where you go, wherever you go. 0:50:01.000 --> 0:50:03.280 But you only get it if you textan to thirty 0:50:03.360 --> 0:50:05.719 thirty thirty a's t e A N too three zero 0:50:05.840 --> 0:50:08.440 three zero three zero. Give beach Body on demand a 0:50:08.440 --> 0:50:10.759 good shot. Promise you won't regret it. I promise you'll 0:50:10.760 --> 0:50:12.560 definitely start seeing some results, just like I am. So 0:50:12.800 --> 0:50:15.200 check it out. Okay. So next, we're joined on the 0:50:15.239 --> 0:50:19.759 phone by Nora de Kaiser. Nora, are you there? Hi'm here? Hi? 0:50:19.840 --> 0:50:21.560 How are you? Thank you so much for calling in? Hi? No, 0:50:21.719 --> 0:50:24.799 this is Jared. Yes, Hi, guys. You're joined by both 0:50:24.880 --> 0:50:27.560 me Jared market easton Art in studio as well, but 0:50:27.560 --> 0:50:32.120 they're kind of more passively listening today. Um yeah, whole 0:50:32.120 --> 0:50:34.279 team today just for you Nora. All right, Nora, So 0:50:34.560 --> 0:50:35.840 tell us a little bit more about you. So we 0:50:35.960 --> 0:50:38.319 understand that you began kind of your matchmaking career as 0:50:38.440 --> 0:50:40.719 a three day rule matchmaker in New York, but um, 0:50:40.760 --> 0:50:42.200 we understand that you kind of have spun it off 0:50:42.200 --> 0:50:43.560 into a little bit more than that. So do you 0:50:43.600 --> 0:50:46.160 mind filling us in as listeners to kind of what 0:50:46.160 --> 0:50:48.640 you've been up to. Yeah, for sure. A lot of 0:50:48.640 --> 0:50:51.680 people when they hear I'm a matchmaker, they're like, wait, no, 0:50:51.760 --> 0:50:55.080 massmakers are supposed to be old woman. Um, and I'm 0:50:55.080 --> 0:50:58.480 pretty young. And it's it's one of those things where 0:50:58.480 --> 0:51:00.879 if this is a passion, it's something I always set 0:51:00.960 --> 0:51:03.360 up my girlfriend, my friends, and I was doing it 0:51:03.400 --> 0:51:06.319 really successfully. Um. So I started with the company, like 0:51:06.320 --> 0:51:07.880 you said, in New York City and did that for 0:51:07.920 --> 0:51:09.640 about two and a half years and moved out to 0:51:09.760 --> 0:51:11.719 l A. Now I've been working with a lot of 0:51:11.719 --> 0:51:14.680 celebrities and CEOs and people who want to who have 0:51:14.719 --> 0:51:16.840 a high profile but want to keep it a low profile, 0:51:17.280 --> 0:51:20.520 um and actually find love that's gonna last. Or you 0:51:20.520 --> 0:51:24.640 said you were pretty young, how old are you? Okay, okay, okay, 0:51:24.760 --> 0:51:26.560 you are a young matchpaper So you're kind of like 0:51:26.600 --> 0:51:31.000 the riot of matchmakers ceties. Yes, you know, there's there's 0:51:31.080 --> 0:51:34.239 really a part of dating for people that don't want 0:51:34.239 --> 0:51:36.520 to go on bumble and have their face plastered everywhere 0:51:36.560 --> 0:51:38.880 and a lot of people know them publicly, um, so 0:51:38.920 --> 0:51:41.360 they want to keep it more quiet, um, but actually 0:51:41.360 --> 0:51:43.040 find someone who aligns with them and not go on 0:51:43.080 --> 0:51:44.680 a ton of that date love it well. I think 0:51:44.680 --> 0:51:47.040 this also relates to people that aren't celebrities, because I 0:51:47.040 --> 0:51:48.279 think there's just a lot of people that don't want 0:51:48.280 --> 0:51:50.760 to put themselves on bumble and hinge for the simple 0:51:50.800 --> 0:51:52.960 fact of like they just don't want to put themselves 0:51:52.960 --> 0:51:54.680 out there. So I think whether you're or not, I 0:51:54.680 --> 0:51:56.480 think you would work for a lot of different people. 0:51:56.880 --> 0:51:59.000 Oh yeah, no, we don't just have celebrity clients. It's 0:51:59.000 --> 0:52:01.520 all over the place, but um, it really is for 0:52:01.520 --> 0:52:03.839 people who don't want to waste their time anymore, are 0:52:03.880 --> 0:52:06.239 kind of too busy to the online dating things. To 0:52:06.360 --> 0:52:08.600 Jared's point, one of my great friends just broke up 0:52:08.600 --> 0:52:10.480 with his girlfriend of two and a half years or so, 0:52:10.920 --> 0:52:13.160 and and he's like, I don't want to get on 0:52:13.200 --> 0:52:15.319 tender bumble anything like that because I'm worried that her 0:52:15.440 --> 0:52:17.080 or her friends would see me on it and then 0:52:17.160 --> 0:52:20.000 like that's obviously another ordeal to deal with, but um, 0:52:20.040 --> 0:52:21.719 it is there's definitely something to be said about kind 0:52:21.719 --> 0:52:24.719 of like the uh, I don't know how to say, 0:52:24.760 --> 0:52:26.880 like the stigmatism. I don't know. I'm just saying, like 0:52:26.920 --> 0:52:29.399 the appeal of working with a matchmaker is is that 0:52:29.680 --> 0:52:31.200 your face isn't plastered out there on all those dating 0:52:31.239 --> 0:52:32.880 sites all that kind of stuff. Exactly, You're working on 0:52:32.960 --> 0:52:34.960 a more personal level rather than just putting yourself on 0:52:35.000 --> 0:52:36.600 an online dating one site and then kind of like 0:52:36.640 --> 0:52:37.920 going through all these people that you don't know. At 0:52:37.960 --> 0:52:40.239 least you're working with somebody that you've met, like if 0:52:40.320 --> 0:52:41.960 nor you know, if people reach out to you, they 0:52:41.960 --> 0:52:43.680 can sit down, get to know each other, and then 0:52:43.680 --> 0:52:46.759 you can assess like what's best for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:52:46.840 --> 0:52:50.239 I mean the classic definition of insanity is doing the 0:52:50.320 --> 0:52:52.719 same thing over and over again but expecting it if 0:52:52.760 --> 0:52:54.759 am adults, and that's what a lot of people do 0:52:54.800 --> 0:52:58.279 with online dating. I'm sorry for your friend's big break up, 0:52:58.360 --> 0:53:02.239 but he'll probably get online dating eventually, um and get 0:53:02.239 --> 0:53:03.799 to the point where he's sick of it. He's not 0:53:03.840 --> 0:53:06.440 meeting someone who's connecting with And oftentimes you hear your 0:53:06.440 --> 0:53:08.960 friends say I'm gonna take a break from dating, um, 0:53:09.000 --> 0:53:10.960 But in reality, that's that's not going to do anything, 0:53:10.960 --> 0:53:12.759 because you're going to get back on a month or 0:53:12.760 --> 0:53:16.239 two later and do the same thing with a different person. UM. 0:53:16.320 --> 0:53:19.040 So what we try to do is interject and actually, 0:53:19.400 --> 0:53:21.799 you know, tell someone what they're really looking for. Because 0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:24.240 a lot of people think they know themselves the best 0:53:24.280 --> 0:53:27.360 out of anyone, but um, we're biased to ourselves. We 0:53:27.480 --> 0:53:29.960 know what we're good at, we know what we're bad at, 0:53:30.000 --> 0:53:31.480 but we try to hide that a little bit. And 0:53:31.520 --> 0:53:35.520 having an unbiased person, not your mom, not your best friend, um, 0:53:35.560 --> 0:53:37.960 but someone who doesn't know you yet really get to 0:53:37.960 --> 0:53:39.920 know you. Um. We have a lot of ways to 0:53:39.920 --> 0:53:41.880 be able to figure out who's gonna be a good 0:53:41.880 --> 0:53:43.840 fit for whom. Well, you're talking to two people that 0:53:43.920 --> 0:53:46.319 have been on multiple bachelor shows, so we are the 0:53:46.320 --> 0:53:49.600 definition of uh. Nor, can you tell us a little 0:53:49.600 --> 0:53:52.440 bit more about this three day rule? Yeah, you mean 0:53:52.480 --> 0:53:54.239 why it's called that? Yeah, I would love to hear 0:53:54.239 --> 0:53:56.480 more about that. A lot of people have questions about that. 0:53:56.600 --> 0:53:59.399 So it's from the movie Swingers and Vince n says 0:53:59.640 --> 0:54:02.440 you have to three days different. Um, we're kind of 0:54:02.480 --> 0:54:05.719 poking fun at modern deciding rules and saying there are 0:54:05.760 --> 0:54:07.640 no rules. You don't have the least three days. If 0:54:07.640 --> 0:54:09.560 you like her, let her not. If you don't also 0:54:09.719 --> 0:54:12.200 let her note. Um, so it's kind of poking fun 0:54:12.239 --> 0:54:15.480 at at modern dating. Well, you just said if you 0:54:15.480 --> 0:54:17.200 don't like her, let her know. But how do you 0:54:17.239 --> 0:54:20.359 know if you truly like someone after one day? Like, 0:54:20.800 --> 0:54:23.000 do you as a as a professional, you know somebody 0:54:23.040 --> 0:54:25.160 that matches people up? Would you give the advice? Say 0:54:25.160 --> 0:54:26.680 you go on a date with somebody that you're kind 0:54:26.680 --> 0:54:29.480 of not that excited about and it went fine, do 0:54:29.520 --> 0:54:31.160 you give that another day or do you just call 0:54:31.200 --> 0:54:34.200 it quits after one day? Totally? I always say go 0:54:34.400 --> 0:54:37.760 on at least three days because as you guys, probably 0:54:37.760 --> 0:54:41.560 not your first time on The Bachelor talking to who 0:54:41.560 --> 0:54:44.279 you were matched with. Um, you're nervous and you probably 0:54:44.320 --> 0:54:46.440 weren't yourself. You probably said, think you're like, what did 0:54:46.520 --> 0:54:48.080 I just say? Why did I just say that? That 0:54:48.200 --> 0:54:50.400 was constant for the entire season though for me personally, 0:54:52.040 --> 0:54:53.959 But that's how people are our first days. It's nerve 0:54:54.000 --> 0:54:56.080 wracking to put yourself out there and say yes, I'm 0:54:56.080 --> 0:54:58.799 single and I'm trying to find a partner. Um. So 0:54:58.920 --> 0:55:00.440 a lot of times pop will come back to me 0:55:00.520 --> 0:55:02.839 and they'll say, hey, he was funny, he was nice, 0:55:02.840 --> 0:55:04.560 but oh my gosh, it's just like there were so 0:55:04.600 --> 0:55:06.920 many awkward pauses. And when I hear that, I said, well, 0:55:06.960 --> 0:55:09.000 give another shot, because I've gotten known him well and 0:55:09.040 --> 0:55:12.000 he's really an awesome guy. But on a first date, 0:55:12.040 --> 0:55:14.520 it's really hard to bring everything to the table. I 0:55:14.520 --> 0:55:16.440 think it usually takes about three days to decide if 0:55:16.440 --> 0:55:18.560 you have chemistry or not. Yeah, that makes a lot 0:55:18.600 --> 0:55:20.640 of sense. So so what kind of questions do you 0:55:20.680 --> 0:55:22.920 typically ask? Me? What are the foundational questions that you 0:55:22.960 --> 0:55:25.520 ask someone that you're trying to match. Well, we get 0:55:25.560 --> 0:55:27.919 to do the fun stuff because normally on a first date, 0:55:28.040 --> 0:55:31.200 not many people are going to ask the tough questions 0:55:31.239 --> 0:55:33.359 like so do you want kids? Or what are your 0:55:33.400 --> 0:55:36.640 costing religion? Um? So we get to ask the foundational 0:55:36.760 --> 0:55:39.400 value questions. UM So I get to know the person 0:55:39.480 --> 0:55:42.360 on what they value. Um But the real question that 0:55:42.400 --> 0:55:45.000 tells me what's really going on is when I asked 0:55:45.040 --> 0:55:47.920 them why they think they're single? Because that's really a 0:55:47.960 --> 0:55:49.680 moment where they get to turn the mirror on themselves 0:55:49.680 --> 0:55:51.799 and say, all right, yeah, I have been been more 0:55:51.880 --> 0:55:54.799 for five years, and what is the real reason, Because 0:55:54.840 --> 0:55:57.360 a lot of times it's not lack of dating apps 0:55:57.480 --> 0:55:59.880 or not lack of dates in general. If it's something 0:56:00.160 --> 0:56:02.560 going on with you, whether you have wolves up, you're 0:56:02.600 --> 0:56:05.440 going out for the wrong person, um, or you're not 0:56:05.560 --> 0:56:08.839 over your ex um. So that's really the first part 0:56:08.880 --> 0:56:11.120 where we can dive into how we can change the 0:56:11.160 --> 0:56:14.759 pattern that they're going through. Interesting. Yeah, I don't know. 0:56:14.920 --> 0:56:18.000 I think that's great. Um So, so let's put the 0:56:18.040 --> 0:56:20.000 topic on Jared for a second. Let's let's kind of 0:56:20.000 --> 0:56:23.760 shift the subject here. So Jared, who has been single 0:56:23.800 --> 0:56:26.160 for quite some while. I know I've gotten so last 0:56:26.160 --> 0:56:27.440 week I said I was single for six years and 0:56:27.480 --> 0:56:29.399 people were like, what about Kala, technically, can I were 0:56:29.400 --> 0:56:31.440 never boyfriend girlfriends? When I was thinking back up the 0:56:31.440 --> 0:56:34.000 past six years of when I was single, it's been 0:56:34.680 --> 0:56:37.160 you know, I've I've been thinking boyfriend girlfriends. So I've 0:56:37.160 --> 0:56:40.240 been single. I I was single for quite some time. 0:56:40.680 --> 0:56:42.200 Um So if I was, yeah, if I was coming 0:56:42.239 --> 0:56:43.759 to you and I wanted you to match, make me 0:56:43.920 --> 0:56:46.560 like what some of the questions that you would ask me. Yeah, well, 0:56:46.600 --> 0:56:48.840 I was asked, why do you think you're single? On 0:56:48.920 --> 0:56:52.600 the talent? Great question, goodense, never but I don't want 0:56:52.600 --> 0:56:54.839 to do this Jared single. I mean, I think there's 0:56:54.840 --> 0:56:58.120 a lot of reasons as to why uh I was 0:56:58.160 --> 0:57:00.640 single for so long was because I I think the 0:57:00.680 --> 0:57:03.520 major one is stands from my own insecurities. And I 0:57:03.520 --> 0:57:05.719 think a lot of the reasons why I'm afraid to 0:57:05.760 --> 0:57:07.440 really make a move or kind of dive deep is 0:57:07.480 --> 0:57:10.160 that there are times where I'm really unwilling to let 0:57:10.200 --> 0:57:12.760 my walls down for the simple fact of I'm too 0:57:12.800 --> 0:57:15.120 scared that people, or at least somebody that I really 0:57:15.120 --> 0:57:17.160 care about in value their opinion, will find out how 0:57:17.240 --> 0:57:19.040 much of a mess I really am. Because you try 0:57:19.040 --> 0:57:21.600 to live up to people's expectations and I, you know, 0:57:22.040 --> 0:57:23.840 and we put like this idea of who we are 0:57:23.920 --> 0:57:25.440 out into the world. We try to be funny and 0:57:25.480 --> 0:57:28.000 charming and confident in all these things. And we talked 0:57:28.040 --> 0:57:29.920 about this last week on the podcast, like the idea 0:57:29.960 --> 0:57:32.080 of you know, trying to be the Wizard of Oz 0:57:32.320 --> 0:57:34.200 when you're really just a sweaty guy behind the curtain. 0:57:34.200 --> 0:57:36.400 And I think for me, That's always been my problem 0:57:36.400 --> 0:57:39.080 is that I'm really nervous about letting people in because 0:57:39.280 --> 0:57:41.479 I'm nervous about them finding out how much a mess 0:57:41.520 --> 0:57:44.440 I really am. And I've been called out on it before, 0:57:44.480 --> 0:57:46.600 Like I've had girls tell me like, You're gonna end 0:57:46.640 --> 0:57:48.840 up alone because you just don't let anybody in, and 0:57:48.880 --> 0:57:51.280 I'm like, you're right, and I understand that this is 0:57:51.320 --> 0:57:53.560 a problem and I need to try to actively fix 0:57:53.640 --> 0:57:57.280 this um, which I'm doing. I'm I'm, I'm you know, 0:57:57.440 --> 0:58:00.360 I'm working on it. Do you think it's part partially 0:58:00.400 --> 0:58:02.760 a perfectionism thing where you're kind of like, oh, man, 0:58:02.800 --> 0:58:04.480 I want to be perfect and I want to do 0:58:04.520 --> 0:58:06.160 this right and I want this relation to be perfect, 0:58:06.200 --> 0:58:08.920 and if it doesn't go right, that's I don't think. 0:58:08.960 --> 0:58:10.640 I don't think it's failure. I don't think it's a 0:58:10.640 --> 0:58:13.120 perfect thing. I think it's more of I want to 0:58:13.200 --> 0:58:16.160 be the man that I expect to be, you know, 0:58:16.240 --> 0:58:19.280 I want to be um. You know, I want to 0:58:19.680 --> 0:58:21.880 provide the life for the woman that I love, like 0:58:21.960 --> 0:58:25.120 the best life that she can possibly have, and so 0:58:25.280 --> 0:58:28.480 sometimes I doubt whether I can be that person. And 0:58:28.520 --> 0:58:33.240 I think because of that, I've been unwilling to really, um, 0:58:33.280 --> 0:58:36.040 you know, dive into a relationship because I've been too 0:58:36.080 --> 0:58:38.640 scared that I've been I will be unable to provide that. 0:58:39.800 --> 0:58:42.920 That actually reminds me of a client I worked with 0:58:43.280 --> 0:58:45.320 UM recently who you know. I was like, why do 0:58:45.360 --> 0:58:47.400 you think you're single? And he didn't have as perfan 0:58:47.520 --> 0:58:49.760 as an answer that you just had. You've definitely thought 0:58:49.760 --> 0:58:53.560 about this and done the work. But his reason was, 0:58:53.640 --> 0:58:55.240 you know, he dat someone for a couple of months, 0:58:55.280 --> 0:58:58.000 then he'd get bored UM and he couldn't really figure 0:58:58.000 --> 0:59:01.680 out why. And as we started we're together, I realized, Yeah, 0:59:01.800 --> 0:59:04.680 he's really afraid to not be that man that he 0:59:04.760 --> 0:59:07.520 thinks he should be because he's going after girls that 0:59:07.800 --> 0:59:09.720 he's not working that hard to get. He's going after 0:59:09.720 --> 0:59:12.640 the girls that are kind of easy and just coming 0:59:12.680 --> 0:59:15.760 in very quickly and it's just easy. It doesn't have 0:59:15.760 --> 0:59:17.760 to work very hard for it. So he's not he's 0:59:17.800 --> 0:59:20.640 not he's not vulnerable in a sense UM, and he's 0:59:20.680 --> 0:59:22.840 not going to fail because it was easy in the 0:59:22.840 --> 0:59:25.680 first place. UM. So we really worked at Okay, So, 0:59:25.680 --> 0:59:28.800 so what is your ideal girl? So I would ask you, Jared, 0:59:29.280 --> 0:59:31.280 could you give me a top five must have in 0:59:31.320 --> 0:59:33.680 a partner, and your top five like to have, well, 0:59:33.840 --> 0:59:35.600 at least top five for Jared, I'm excited to hear this. 0:59:35.680 --> 0:59:37.439 For myself, I have to give five or just one 0:59:37.440 --> 0:59:39.600 of five that comes to we need all five five 0:59:40.160 --> 0:59:42.560 top five or we're making him, we're holding accountable to 0:59:42.600 --> 0:59:45.720 give us the five. Oh good god, all right, I 0:59:45.760 --> 0:59:49.320 have to be taller than her when she's wearing heels. Okay, um, 0:59:49.560 --> 0:59:52.520 now what top five? That's the thing less the one 0:59:52.560 --> 0:59:58.960 you read with taller than hers? The number one. Now 0:59:59.120 --> 1:00:02.640 I I was, ah, God, that's so hard to really articulate, 1:00:02.680 --> 1:00:06.959 because I love all types of people, Like, there's so many. 1:00:07.200 --> 1:00:10.240 I would never really say I need this in a 1:00:10.280 --> 1:00:12.600 woman in order for me to develop a relationship with there, 1:00:12.600 --> 1:00:14.439 because if there was a strong enough connection and strong 1:00:14.520 --> 1:00:17.080 enough love, I could look past certain things, like because 1:00:17.120 --> 1:00:20.840 I like people for different reasons, you can eliminate them systematically. 1:00:20.840 --> 1:00:23.040 Do you need a woman to be nice? Of course 1:00:23.480 --> 1:00:25.959 the clichiate to be like, yeah, I wanted to be nice, 1:00:26.120 --> 1:00:29.880 and it's a launching bad all right, Well, she certainly 1:00:29.920 --> 1:00:32.720 has to, uh, alright. One thing I really look for 1:00:32.840 --> 1:00:34.880 on a date at least is if we go out 1:00:34.920 --> 1:00:36.680 to a date to a bar or a restaurant, how 1:00:36.720 --> 1:00:40.440 they treat the bartender or waiter is a huge factor 1:00:40.520 --> 1:00:43.400 of how I look at them on the first date, 1:00:43.520 --> 1:00:46.480 because I've there's nothing that turns me off more than 1:00:46.520 --> 1:00:48.880 if I'm on a date with somebody and the bartender 1:00:48.920 --> 1:00:50.040 or waiter will come over and the be like, Hi, 1:00:50.080 --> 1:00:51.960 how are you, and then she she just won't even 1:00:51.960 --> 1:00:53.280 look him in the eye and be like, oh, I'll 1:00:53.280 --> 1:00:55.480 take this, and it's like, all right, well this is 1:00:55.480 --> 1:00:57.920 not going to go well. So that's certainly something I 1:00:57.920 --> 1:01:01.080 look for. Somebody that treats uh, you know, it's very personal, 1:01:01.200 --> 1:01:05.160 can talk to somebody, have eye contact, is a conversationalist, 1:01:05.280 --> 1:01:08.720 because I definitely, um, I need someone who can challenge 1:01:08.720 --> 1:01:10.280 me in a lot of different ways. I'm also very 1:01:10.280 --> 1:01:12.720 easy going and laid back, so I definitely need someone 1:01:12.760 --> 1:01:14.760 to push me and be like you need to do 1:01:14.800 --> 1:01:16.920 this and that and this, because if I don't have 1:01:16.960 --> 1:01:19.320 somebody to push me in that way, I don't think 1:01:19.360 --> 1:01:22.240 I will accomplish the things that I think I'm capable 1:01:22.240 --> 1:01:24.320 of accomplishing. I'm the same way. I didn't even realize 1:01:24.320 --> 1:01:25.720 that until you just said that. Yeah, So I think 1:01:25.760 --> 1:01:29.080 I definitely need someone who's not afraid to call me out. 1:01:29.400 --> 1:01:32.040 That's one thing as well. I really need someone to 1:01:32.080 --> 1:01:33.640 be like, you need to get this done, or like 1:01:33.720 --> 1:01:36.720 not even like, but just more so of like, you know, 1:01:37.000 --> 1:01:39.280 even if we're talking, there are a lot of times 1:01:39.280 --> 1:01:43.200 where I'm uh, not afraid, but like unwilling to talk 1:01:43.240 --> 1:01:45.920 about my feelings or things that uh, you know are 1:01:46.000 --> 1:01:48.960 bothering me. Um. And so I need someone to be like, 1:01:49.720 --> 1:01:52.720 you know, tell me yes, don't, don't just say whatever, 1:01:52.760 --> 1:01:55.640 don't move past this conversation, talk to me. And so 1:01:55.920 --> 1:01:57.840 that's certainly something I guess I could put that on 1:01:57.840 --> 1:02:00.680 the top five right after to be shorter than you 1:02:00.720 --> 1:02:05.600 wearing heels, no, I mean, And that's it's so interesting 1:02:05.640 --> 1:02:08.520 to see that you were pruggling with that because oftentimes 1:02:08.560 --> 1:02:11.400 people say, oh, love will happen when you least expect it. 1:02:11.640 --> 1:02:14.960 But that's my least favorite um dating advice, because it's 1:02:15.160 --> 1:02:16.960 not gonna have when when you least expect it. And 1:02:17.280 --> 1:02:19.240 that's why a lot of people go after what they 1:02:19.400 --> 1:02:23.560 feel is right rather than what they know is right. Um. 1:02:23.640 --> 1:02:25.560 And so you end up going after a girl who's 1:02:25.600 --> 1:02:28.040 like you're playing the game. It's hard to get and 1:02:28.160 --> 1:02:31.160 it feels like luss, but it's really that's not gonna 1:02:31.240 --> 1:02:34.000 laugh versus Okay, you know the first thing you said 1:02:34.200 --> 1:02:36.000 nice to the bar center. So you want someone kind, 1:02:36.080 --> 1:02:38.800 You want someone who really has a heart to care 1:02:38.800 --> 1:02:42.600 about people who, um, she doesn't really need to be 1:02:42.680 --> 1:02:45.640 nice to exactly care enough people to treat them like 1:02:45.720 --> 1:02:48.520 human beings, like no matter what they do, Like I don't. 1:02:48.520 --> 1:02:51.400 I can't stay when uh, somebody, whether a man or 1:02:51.440 --> 1:02:54.120 a female, just treat human beings as if they are 1:02:54.160 --> 1:02:57.120 a lower class. And it's like the person that's bagging 1:02:57.160 --> 1:03:00.680 your groceries as the same quality of person as the 1:03:00.680 --> 1:03:04.000 person that's you know, I don't know is that owns 1:03:04.040 --> 1:03:06.800 the grocery store exactly like you should treat them one 1:03:06.840 --> 1:03:09.480 and the same. And so it's very difficult for me 1:03:09.520 --> 1:03:12.560 when I see either friends or even a potential partner 1:03:12.840 --> 1:03:16.760 treat people differently depending on you know, their quote unquote 1:03:16.800 --> 1:03:19.280 importance in life. And I think that's absurd and ridiculous 1:03:19.280 --> 1:03:21.320 and something that really turns me off. And or in 1:03:21.360 --> 1:03:23.720 your professional opinion, what is your what do you think 1:03:23.760 --> 1:03:26.880 the number one reason why relationships fail being a matchmaker. 1:03:26.920 --> 1:03:29.400 I guess uh, you know, I think the number one 1:03:29.440 --> 1:03:33.080 reason the reason that relationships sale is is because one, 1:03:33.240 --> 1:03:36.000 you're going after the wrong person, So you're not thinking 1:03:36.240 --> 1:03:39.040 logically about what you're looking for and you're just thinking 1:03:39.080 --> 1:03:40.640 I was just hot, Like I'm going to go after that, 1:03:41.600 --> 1:03:43.600 because that has nothing to do with the values that 1:03:43.640 --> 1:03:46.080 are going to be long term. Once you're actually in 1:03:46.080 --> 1:03:48.480 a relationship and it is working and it fails, usually 1:03:48.520 --> 1:03:51.400 that's because of communication. Um, and you aren't just being 1:03:51.440 --> 1:03:53.360 open and honest with what you want and what she 1:03:53.560 --> 1:03:55.960 not want. Those conversation is going to be awkward, but 1:03:56.400 --> 1:04:00.640 that's exactly how relationship is going to flourish. Interesting. Yeah, 1:04:00.640 --> 1:04:02.520 and north to your point earlier. Sorry, I kind of 1:04:02.520 --> 1:04:04.440 had this weird epiphany, uh the other day, And I 1:04:04.480 --> 1:04:07.560 don't want to necessarily rub you in for un necessary reasons, 1:04:07.560 --> 1:04:09.160 but I have this weird epiphany that I was like 1:04:09.160 --> 1:04:10.920 when I was younger, I used to think that falling 1:04:10.920 --> 1:04:12.560 in love with someone and spending the rest of your 1:04:12.600 --> 1:04:14.480 life with them was like a birthright that everyone should 1:04:14.480 --> 1:04:16.600 have at any like, like the second you're born, that's 1:04:16.640 --> 1:04:18.560 what you're deserve to have. And I do think that 1:04:18.600 --> 1:04:20.320 everyone needs to have that but I think that there 1:04:20.320 --> 1:04:22.800 also takes a lot of effort on both sides. And 1:04:22.840 --> 1:04:25.000 that's something that I've I've kind of slowly learned over 1:04:25.000 --> 1:04:27.280 the past maybe a year or so, is that we 1:04:27.360 --> 1:04:29.720 all have the obviously the right to fall in love 1:04:29.760 --> 1:04:30.960 and be with someone for the rest of our lives, 1:04:30.960 --> 1:04:33.120 but we also have to earn that and then learn 1:04:33.200 --> 1:04:35.600 that as well to to to you know, make it 1:04:35.760 --> 1:04:37.560 right for both people. And it's just kind of this 1:04:37.600 --> 1:04:38.920 weird thing that I was thinking about the other day. 1:04:38.960 --> 1:04:40.040 I think maybe I read it in a book that 1:04:40.040 --> 1:04:41.240 I was reading about or something like that, and I 1:04:41.240 --> 1:04:43.120 think you had kind of you know, I was reading 1:04:43.120 --> 1:04:45.200 a book one time. It was really good. I don't 1:04:45.200 --> 1:04:46.840 know if you knew this. I was reading the dictionary. 1:04:46.880 --> 1:04:48.400 I read the book. I read a book. You guys, 1:04:48.680 --> 1:04:50.120 I know how to read. But no, you said you 1:04:50.200 --> 1:04:52.160 mentioned something like that too, and it kind of coincides 1:04:52.160 --> 1:04:53.480 with that thought, and I was like, yeah, that definitely 1:04:53.520 --> 1:04:55.720 makes a lot of sense. I feel like, so, yeah, 1:04:55.760 --> 1:04:59.080 I mean, love is still exciting and it's so important. 1:04:59.160 --> 1:05:01.880 I think it's the most important thing in life and 1:05:01.960 --> 1:05:04.440 in the world. Um, but we get to choose the 1:05:04.480 --> 1:05:06.480 type of love we're going to have and we get 1:05:06.480 --> 1:05:10.000 to choose how we're going to teach people to treat us. Um. 1:05:10.040 --> 1:05:12.800 And that's why you know, you knew what you wanted, 1:05:12.920 --> 1:05:15.560 but it just wasn't kind of upfront. So I would 1:05:15.640 --> 1:05:18.640 tell you that, really write those down and know what 1:05:18.640 --> 1:05:20.280 you're looking for. And if you go on a first 1:05:20.360 --> 1:05:23.439 date and it's going okay, but one of those top 1:05:23.480 --> 1:05:26.040 five he doesn't have, that's okay. You can be a friend, 1:05:26.040 --> 1:05:28.640 no worries at all, but don't waste your time going 1:05:28.640 --> 1:05:31.000 after someone that doesn't have those values that you want. 1:05:31.120 --> 1:05:32.800 It's not so much I don't think I didn't know 1:05:32.880 --> 1:05:35.000 what I wanted. I think it was more so the 1:05:35.080 --> 1:05:37.400 guts to go after what I wanted, you know, because 1:05:37.400 --> 1:05:39.200 I knew what I wanted, but I didn't I don't 1:05:39.200 --> 1:05:42.880 think I had the conviction to actually go through with 1:05:42.960 --> 1:05:45.280 it because I was always too scared of the outcome, 1:05:45.320 --> 1:05:47.760 which is a ridiculous mindset to have, but it's true. 1:05:48.200 --> 1:05:51.680 I was just I was. I was fearful. I was, 1:05:51.800 --> 1:05:54.800 you know, for a very long time and so um. 1:05:54.840 --> 1:05:56.400 But yeah, I totally agree. I think when you were 1:05:56.400 --> 1:05:58.880 talking about relationships and love and like I think about 1:05:59.400 --> 1:06:00.920 this is of more bid a little bit. But I 1:06:00.920 --> 1:06:04.240 always think about being on my deathbed and thinking about, 1:06:04.520 --> 1:06:06.360 you know, my life, and like, what am I going 1:06:06.840 --> 1:06:08.440 like if I was on my deathbed right now? What 1:06:08.520 --> 1:06:09.960 are the moments that I would look back on my 1:06:10.000 --> 1:06:12.000 life and cherish the most? What are the memories that 1:06:12.040 --> 1:06:15.000 I would do anything to go back to? And I've 1:06:15.040 --> 1:06:17.720 always gone back to moments that I've spent with the 1:06:17.720 --> 1:06:19.919 people that I love, Like it's not my job, it's 1:06:19.960 --> 1:06:23.440 not you know. Sure, there's some you know, adventures that 1:06:23.480 --> 1:06:26.320 I have that are wonderful, but the reason so many 1:06:26.360 --> 1:06:28.360 times those adventures are great is because of the people 1:06:28.360 --> 1:06:30.680 that I'm with, and so like more so than anything, 1:06:30.680 --> 1:06:32.560 when you're talking about love being the most important thing 1:06:32.600 --> 1:06:35.000 in life, I do agree with you because I've I've 1:06:35.040 --> 1:06:37.400 always thought about this, like what is the most important 1:06:37.440 --> 1:06:39.720 memory in my life? And why is that so important 1:06:39.720 --> 1:06:41.760 to me? And I always go back to because it's 1:06:41.760 --> 1:06:43.760 the person that I'm with, whether that be you know, 1:06:43.840 --> 1:06:46.200 my father, my you know, my girlfriend at the time, 1:06:46.240 --> 1:06:49.040 my sister, um, so on and so forth, And so 1:06:49.320 --> 1:06:51.600 I do completely agree with you there. And then I 1:06:51.640 --> 1:06:53.800 also agree with you when you were talking about relationships 1:06:54.000 --> 1:06:56.520 and to go back doing what you were saying about 1:06:56.520 --> 1:06:58.840 how as you've gotten older you thought, you know, as 1:06:58.840 --> 1:07:00.320 a young age, you thought it was a right to 1:07:00.320 --> 1:07:02.040 fall in love, and then he's gone older, you're like, oh, no, 1:07:02.120 --> 1:07:04.200 this is actually something you have to work for, work 1:07:04.240 --> 1:07:06.320 for And I think people forget about that. I think 1:07:06.360 --> 1:07:09.640 people forget whether they're single or in a relationship, that 1:07:09.680 --> 1:07:13.160 they actually have to actively put work into love, like 1:07:14.160 --> 1:07:17.440 you know, marriage and and and you know, being in 1:07:16.880 --> 1:07:20.040 in in a relationship is it can be very difficult 1:07:20.080 --> 1:07:21.880 at times, and you're gonna have doubts and you're gonna 1:07:21.920 --> 1:07:24.160 have times where you really second guess whether you should 1:07:24.200 --> 1:07:26.520 be in this relationship with this person. And then that's 1:07:26.520 --> 1:07:28.640 where you have to actively put work in and really 1:07:29.080 --> 1:07:32.080 try to make this relationship better. And I think you 1:07:32.080 --> 1:07:34.280 know obviously there's a line, right, I'm sure that at 1:07:34.320 --> 1:07:36.120 some point you'll know what line that is, and if 1:07:36.160 --> 1:07:38.120 you guys still haven't come together, then you should probably 1:07:38.160 --> 1:07:40.000 end the relationship. But I think so many people give 1:07:40.080 --> 1:07:43.360 up so easily these days. Yeah, no, I mean you 1:07:43.440 --> 1:07:45.600 hit that right in ahead. Especially with dating in l 1:07:45.640 --> 1:07:48.280 A and dating apps in general, there's so many options 1:07:48.360 --> 1:07:50.320 and there's so many choices, and I think a lot 1:07:50.360 --> 1:07:52.560 of people when it gets a little bit weird or 1:07:52.560 --> 1:07:55.320 a little bit taught, like Okay, I'm over there, let's 1:07:55.320 --> 1:07:57.479 see what else is out there. Um. And a way 1:07:57.560 --> 1:08:00.000 to stop that is what we're just talking about, is 1:08:00.080 --> 1:08:02.800 being very intentional about what you want in a partner. 1:08:03.080 --> 1:08:05.280 Because if you know what you want and you get it, 1:08:05.440 --> 1:08:07.400 you're gonna want to keep it and you're gonna do 1:08:07.480 --> 1:08:10.080 anything you can to keep that relationship. If you don't 1:08:10.120 --> 1:08:12.640 know what you want and you're flifinitly dating, um, you're 1:08:12.680 --> 1:08:14.920 gonna be very quick to let go of the relationship 1:08:14.920 --> 1:08:18.240 pretty fast. Yeah, Yeah, I agree. I mean I always 1:08:18.280 --> 1:08:22.479 say this, but I firmly believe love evolves and changes 1:08:22.520 --> 1:08:26.080 over time, and so as long as you're aware of that, UM, 1:08:26.120 --> 1:08:28.600 I don't think there's anything wrong with uh putting some 1:08:28.680 --> 1:08:30.400 work in Well, Nora, this has been in a very 1:08:30.520 --> 1:08:34.240 enlightening conversation, I think, more so than I personally expected, 1:08:34.400 --> 1:08:37.200 not just because Jared has some really insightful points. Now, 1:08:37.320 --> 1:08:40.680 Dean is always the insightful one off points right, Um. 1:08:40.960 --> 1:08:44.240 For the listeners that want to maybe pursue Nora's advice, 1:08:44.640 --> 1:08:46.639 a skill set, anything like that, people free to shoot 1:08:46.680 --> 1:08:48.320 an email Nora. I think it's okay if they shoot 1:08:48.360 --> 1:08:51.679 your email at Nora at three day rule dot com. Um. 1:08:51.760 --> 1:08:53.759 If you have an Instagram, be sure to follow her 1:08:53.840 --> 1:08:58.800 on Instagram at matched by Nora. Um and yeah, I 1:08:58.800 --> 1:09:00.400 mean check her out. Nora. Is there anything you are 1:09:00.400 --> 1:09:02.920 working on currently besides obviously all this matchmaking stuff that 1:09:02.960 --> 1:09:06.559 you want to talk about real quick? Um? No, I 1:09:06.640 --> 1:09:09.280 just I mean just basically putting people together. So if 1:09:09.280 --> 1:09:12.120 you have any friends that you need to be set 1:09:12.200 --> 1:09:14.160 up and Jared, if you need me help, I'm happy 1:09:14.200 --> 1:09:16.200 to help. Oh well, thank you. Well, I think Dean 1:09:16.240 --> 1:09:18.000 and I have plenty of friends from the Bachelor franchise 1:09:18.040 --> 1:09:21.719 that could use help with. Yes, should just be milking 1:09:21.760 --> 1:09:24.559 the Bachelor franchise because of the people that go on 1:09:24.600 --> 1:09:27.479 that show are perpetually single, it seems like exactly, so 1:09:27.560 --> 1:09:30.760 I really, yeah, we'll say, we'll send him your way. 1:09:30.800 --> 1:09:32.679 Don't you worry about how your people call our people? 1:09:32.760 --> 1:09:35.400 And yeah, we'll put you in touch, all right, Nora. Well, 1:09:35.439 --> 1:09:37.479 thank you so much for calling in again, and best 1:09:37.520 --> 1:09:40.800 of luck moving forwards. Talk to you guys here. Thanks Nor, 1:09:42.280 --> 1:09:45.320 what a sweetheart. It's great. She was great. She's wonderful, 1:09:45.360 --> 1:09:47.200 and look at that. You were so hesitant to to 1:09:47.280 --> 1:09:49.040 talk about the five things that you needed a woman, 1:09:49.080 --> 1:09:51.240 and then you just rambled on for five minutes. It's 1:09:51.280 --> 1:09:53.479 amazing too. When somebody asked you a question, you're like, 1:09:53.520 --> 1:09:55.400 I have no idea, and then all of a sudden, 1:09:55.439 --> 1:09:57.439 it's just somebody else will say something and in the 1:09:57.479 --> 1:09:59.479 conversation involves and you're like, oh, that's right. No, that 1:09:59.560 --> 1:10:01.040 is something I look for. Oh that's right, that is 1:10:01.040 --> 1:10:03.000 something that turns me off, So you know, I just 1:10:03.040 --> 1:10:05.120 need a little work. One of my biggest pet pieces 1:10:05.120 --> 1:10:08.240 with this entire podcast is always talk about something uh 1:10:08.280 --> 1:10:11.040 at nausea for like ten fifteen minutes. It's nonsense called jargon, 1:10:11.120 --> 1:10:12.920 bs whatever. And then I'll get home, I'll be laying 1:10:12.920 --> 1:10:14.200 in bed at night and I'm like, damn, I should 1:10:14.200 --> 1:10:16.240 have said this, and I should have said that, like 1:10:16.280 --> 1:10:17.720 so many things that you know you're probably not going 1:10:17.760 --> 1:10:19.240 to talk about again, and then you're like, oh, well, 1:10:19.240 --> 1:10:22.320 I totally forgot about the most like uh central points 1:10:22.320 --> 1:10:23.680 to that point that I was trying to make. Do 1:10:23.760 --> 1:10:26.160 you ever regret from that one right there? I won't 1:10:26.200 --> 1:10:29.439 know until later tonight. Okay, let us okay, and we 1:10:29.720 --> 1:10:31.360 can start it. Can we like start a segment of 1:10:31.800 --> 1:10:34.559 things that I wish I said the first time around? Yes, 1:10:34.840 --> 1:10:36.519 yes we can. That would make it, and that can 1:10:36.520 --> 1:10:38.320 go back to Reggie's point of needing to write things 1:10:38.360 --> 1:10:40.200 down Moore and express my stuff to be writing, so 1:10:40.520 --> 1:10:42.960 totally good mental note that way. All right, how about 1:10:43.000 --> 1:10:45.839 an emails, gentlemen, Let's do it. People value your opinion 1:10:45.880 --> 1:10:48.120 on relationships and want to know advice and why the 1:10:48.120 --> 1:10:53.920 heck wouldn't thing they've obviously seen us. I do think 1:10:53.920 --> 1:10:56.639 it's valuable sometimes for women, and I believe all four 1:10:56.640 --> 1:10:59.000 of these are from women to get a guy's perspective 1:10:59.040 --> 1:11:01.200 on this, because they don't know how guys think. And 1:11:01.320 --> 1:11:03.720 your guys that know how guys think. We know how 1:11:03.720 --> 1:11:09.200 guys think. I know how a guy thinks. That's singular one. Okay, 1:11:09.280 --> 1:11:12.080 a guy questionable. See if you can help Tasha. She's 1:11:12.080 --> 1:11:13.960 been a long term relationship with an amazing guy for 1:11:13.960 --> 1:11:16.720 about three years now. We're quite young, twenty three, but 1:11:17.040 --> 1:11:19.439 Tasha here has had a pretty bad relationship in high school. 1:11:19.439 --> 1:11:22.479 She was cheated on, lied to, and abused her current 1:11:22.520 --> 1:11:24.760 boyfriend and her med in high school. So she knows, 1:11:24.880 --> 1:11:27.240 he knows all about that past relationship. They're both very 1:11:27.240 --> 1:11:29.800 mature for their age, she says, But then she says, 1:11:29.920 --> 1:11:31.840 I'm pretty confident he's who I want to spend my 1:11:31.880 --> 1:11:35.160 life with. But we're having a conversation recently about different 1:11:35.160 --> 1:11:38.360 political topics, how we would raise our kids and so forth, 1:11:38.439 --> 1:11:40.080 and I found out we have pretty different views on 1:11:40.120 --> 1:11:42.320 a lot of things. I can't help but think that 1:11:42.320 --> 1:11:44.559 when it comes to our future and raising a family together, 1:11:44.640 --> 1:11:46.800 this would be difficult. I know how I want to 1:11:46.840 --> 1:11:48.599 raise my kids and how I want them to treat 1:11:48.640 --> 1:11:51.920 others and be receptive towards differences. I guess my main 1:11:52.000 --> 1:11:53.439 question is do you think this is something that is 1:11:53.520 --> 1:11:55.439 minor or do I need to think more about this 1:11:55.479 --> 1:11:57.519 before I commit to a possible life with him. Love 1:11:57.560 --> 1:12:01.040 and blessings from Tasha I Atasha, thank you for emailing 1:12:01.040 --> 1:12:05.320 the podcast. Foremost Um, I personally think that you're kind 1:12:05.320 --> 1:12:07.040 of making a big deal out of something that doesn't 1:12:07.080 --> 1:12:09.439 necessarily have to have a big deal made out of it. 1:12:09.560 --> 1:12:11.040 Have you guys ever seen Parks and rec one of 1:12:11.040 --> 1:12:14.160 my personal TV fantastic so An and Chris and Perkins 1:12:14.200 --> 1:12:16.599 and Chris Traeger are talking about having a baby um 1:12:16.680 --> 1:12:20.679 and they go through like the uh, the compatibility tests, 1:12:20.680 --> 1:12:22.080 all that kind of stuff, and they score like fIF 1:12:22.880 --> 1:12:25.160 on all the compatibility tests. And then by the end 1:12:25.200 --> 1:12:27.240 of the episode, Chris like looks at and and Or 1:12:27.320 --> 1:12:29.920 he answer one piece of paper with one question on it. 1:12:30.120 --> 1:12:32.559 And the one question is will you love our child 1:12:32.640 --> 1:12:35.120 unconditionally and hope nothing but the best for them? And 1:12:35.120 --> 1:12:37.000 obviously the answer to that is yes. And so if 1:12:37.040 --> 1:12:39.920 Tasha can see the man that she's dating now have 1:12:40.080 --> 1:12:43.040 the love in his heart for a potential child that 1:12:43.080 --> 1:12:44.960 they might have, I think that's the most important thing. 1:12:44.960 --> 1:12:48.800 There's obviously semantical differences and being raised raised religiously and 1:12:48.800 --> 1:12:50.920 all that kind of stuff, But I think, like, if 1:12:50.960 --> 1:12:52.840 you love this man and you want him to be 1:12:52.880 --> 1:12:54.360 the father of your children, and you know that he's 1:12:54.360 --> 1:12:56.800 going to treat those children with love, that's all that 1:12:56.800 --> 1:12:59.000 should be necessary for you guys to move to that 1:12:59.000 --> 1:13:01.080 next step. I totally grant. I would just ask Tasha 1:13:01.160 --> 1:13:04.040 how important that your political views are for you because 1:13:04.080 --> 1:13:07.000 and for him, because yes, if he is like, listen, 1:13:07.040 --> 1:13:08.479 these are the ways that my kids are gonna raise 1:13:08.520 --> 1:13:11.160 This is the only thing they're going to watch or 1:13:11.400 --> 1:13:13.400 believe in. And then of course those are questions that 1:13:13.439 --> 1:13:15.240 you need to ask him before you guys start having kids, 1:13:15.240 --> 1:13:17.160 because if he's so stout on it and says no, 1:13:17.240 --> 1:13:19.439 there's I'm not open to any other ideas, and that's 1:13:19.439 --> 1:13:21.479 the conversation you need to have. Having said that, I 1:13:21.520 --> 1:13:23.840 do believe that this is more minor than it is major, 1:13:23.920 --> 1:13:26.479 because I do think that it is something it seems 1:13:26.520 --> 1:13:28.759 like you can move past if he is such a 1:13:28.840 --> 1:13:30.880 you know, amazing guy as you describe, which I don't 1:13:30.880 --> 1:13:32.920 doubt he is. I'm sure if you guys are open 1:13:32.920 --> 1:13:34.880 and honest and you want your kids to kind of 1:13:34.920 --> 1:13:37.960 get both sides of whether it be politics, religion, whatever 1:13:38.000 --> 1:13:39.680 however you want to raise them and let them make 1:13:39.720 --> 1:13:42.240 up their own mind, then you know that's best for everybody. 1:13:42.280 --> 1:13:44.519 So I do believe, yeah, it's more minor as long 1:13:44.560 --> 1:13:46.640 as love is the primary thing for your kids, and 1:13:46.720 --> 1:13:49.640 that's the most important thing. I'm a little concerned about it. 1:13:49.680 --> 1:13:52.439 I don't want to be contrarian here, but especially the line. 1:13:52.520 --> 1:13:53.960 I know how I want to raise my kids and 1:13:53.960 --> 1:13:56.320 how I want them to treat others and be receptive 1:13:56.320 --> 1:14:00.439 towards differences. That concerns me a little bit. Well, it 1:14:00.479 --> 1:14:03.720 seems like if he's not receptive towards differences, I'm not 1:14:03.760 --> 1:14:06.320 even sure what that means necessarily, but does that have 1:14:06.400 --> 1:14:10.520 to do with ethnicities, that that have to do with races, genders, 1:14:10.560 --> 1:14:13.360 ages like that he might not be quite as open 1:14:13.360 --> 1:14:15.800 minded as he wants him to be. Yeah, and then 1:14:15.880 --> 1:14:18.519 raising a kid with one parent giving you that one 1:14:18.520 --> 1:14:20.719 parent giving you the other side, I mean, honestly reminds 1:14:20.720 --> 1:14:24.480 me of my grandparents. But so maybe things will be okay. 1:14:24.560 --> 1:14:26.639 But I'm a little bit concerned about this. I would 1:14:26.680 --> 1:14:28.640 agree with that just but the only thing is it 1:14:28.840 --> 1:14:31.800 does seem different political topics. So I'm assuming that that 1:14:31.800 --> 1:14:36.639 would mean he's conservative and she's liberally vice versa. And 1:14:36.760 --> 1:14:40.160 so as long as he's you know, I I you 1:14:40.200 --> 1:14:42.280 know that I think about that as well, because I'm 1:14:42.320 --> 1:14:44.000 far more open minded. And if I was with a 1:14:44.040 --> 1:14:46.280 stout conservative that was like, no, my kid is going 1:14:46.320 --> 1:14:48.320 to believe one thing and that is the only thing 1:14:48.400 --> 1:14:50.479 they're gonna believe. That would bother me and that would 1:14:50.520 --> 1:14:52.880 cause a red flag as well. Having said that, I 1:14:52.920 --> 1:14:57.040 couldn't imagine with a life partner and love, hopefully that 1:14:57.080 --> 1:14:59.519 would be not something we couldn't talk about and kind 1:14:59.520 --> 1:15:02.120 of wrote it together, right, and especially with a kid, 1:15:02.160 --> 1:15:04.679 kind of letting them not make up their own mind, 1:15:04.680 --> 1:15:06.680 but giving them all the information you can give them 1:15:06.720 --> 1:15:09.959 and let them decide what they want. And Tatasha to Tasha, 1:15:10.400 --> 1:15:13.679 if you're if you're main initiative is for your child, 1:15:13.720 --> 1:15:16.000 your children to be open minded. I don't think money 1:15:16.160 --> 1:15:19.160 things could be more open minded than having a liberal 1:15:19.200 --> 1:15:22.439 mother and a conservative whether than to liberal parents or 1:15:22.479 --> 1:15:25.040 two conservative parents, because it kind of shows your both perceptives. 1:15:25.160 --> 1:15:28.960 That's very true. Unless this guy was like, he's not 1:15:28.960 --> 1:15:31.439 going to hear your side of it in terms of 1:15:31.439 --> 1:15:34.640 like you like, my kids aren't gonna like you're not 1:15:34.680 --> 1:15:38.000 gonna brainwash my kids, but your political views. They're only 1:15:38.040 --> 1:15:39.800 going to listen to my views. Or that would be 1:15:39.840 --> 1:15:42.479 a huge red flag. Or let's flip this entirely upside 1:15:42.479 --> 1:15:44.840 down and say, maybe she's grasping at straws and trying 1:15:44.880 --> 1:15:48.920 to find reasons to break up with this guy. That's interesting, Tasha, 1:15:48.960 --> 1:15:51.759 think about that one. Maybe she actually figure eternally And honestly, 1:15:51.760 --> 1:15:54.799 there was a time, fairly recently that different political opinions 1:15:54.800 --> 1:15:57.519 among parents wasn't that big of a deal today, it's huge. 1:15:57.960 --> 1:16:00.240 I've never lived in I mean, Grinton, I'm still only 1:16:00.240 --> 1:16:02.320 twenty nine, but I've never lived in a society that's 1:16:02.320 --> 1:16:05.040 been more divided right now. It's just insane. You can't 1:16:05.080 --> 1:16:08.720 even say anything without somebody just be rating him like 1:16:08.960 --> 1:16:12.920 you're wrong, blah blah blah. It's it's intimidating to even 1:16:13.080 --> 1:16:16.400 I've always been one that I'm always open talk about whatever, politics, religion, 1:16:16.439 --> 1:16:18.479 I don't really care. But with politics these days, it's 1:16:18.520 --> 1:16:20.799 just like you can't even get a word in edgewise 1:16:20.800 --> 1:16:23.840 without them. You can honestly present facts towards somebody and 1:16:23.840 --> 1:16:27.320 they're like, no, that's not true. Well, I don't know 1:16:27.360 --> 1:16:30.840 what else to say, because it's a fact. Do you 1:16:30.840 --> 1:16:33.519 think it's better than to have no strong opinions one 1:16:33.520 --> 1:16:35.639 way or the other on that, because then you're less 1:16:35.880 --> 1:16:38.280 inclined to even care so much about it, and like 1:16:38.479 --> 1:16:40.840 that's less divisive of you to be just like, yeah, 1:16:40.920 --> 1:16:43.000 I see your point, but I see your plant. You know, well, 1:16:43.000 --> 1:16:44.800 I think that's the best outcome, is to be able 1:16:44.840 --> 1:16:47.839 to have your opinion while also still being open minded 1:16:47.880 --> 1:16:51.919 to other people's opinions. I think that's obviously in my opinion, 1:16:52.080 --> 1:16:53.800 that would be the best outcome for everybody to be 1:16:53.840 --> 1:16:55.639 like I have my beliefs, I have my opinions. I'm 1:16:55.640 --> 1:16:58.320 still listening to yours. Not say my mind can't be changed, 1:16:58.360 --> 1:17:02.960 but you know, have an open mind towards things. Jesse, 1:17:03.520 --> 1:17:05.720 I recently moved from San Francisco to Washington, d C. 1:17:05.880 --> 1:17:07.920 Around six months ago. About a month before I moved, 1:17:08.000 --> 1:17:09.439 I had a guy through a friend and spent the 1:17:09.439 --> 1:17:11.520 whole day getting to know each other. At the party, 1:17:11.680 --> 1:17:13.680 I was going through some personal family stuff at the time, 1:17:13.680 --> 1:17:15.800 and I quickly felt comfortable enough to confide in him. 1:17:15.840 --> 1:17:17.920 We're drinking all day. We ended up hooking up by 1:17:17.920 --> 1:17:19.720 the end of the night. I really saw him at 1:17:19.720 --> 1:17:21.599 another group event a few weeks later, but nothing really 1:17:21.640 --> 1:17:24.240 came to it since I was moving away anyway. Well, 1:17:24.240 --> 1:17:26.120 now that I've moved, he's been calling me every few 1:17:26.120 --> 1:17:28.400 weeks late at night. The first few times he was drunk, 1:17:28.439 --> 1:17:30.479 but last weekend he called he wasn't drunk. His book 1:17:30.479 --> 1:17:32.480 for over an hour in a pretty deep, deep conversation. 1:17:33.240 --> 1:17:35.200 What are his motives for calling? It's not a booty 1:17:35.240 --> 1:17:37.439 callerve across the country from him, and it's not very 1:17:37.479 --> 1:17:39.160 often I meet people that click with like this, So 1:17:39.200 --> 1:17:41.360 I'm struggling with if I should try to pursue this 1:17:41.479 --> 1:17:43.120 or what I should do. I would love to hear 1:17:43.160 --> 1:17:44.679 your input. This is a good one to put yourself 1:17:44.680 --> 1:17:47.920 in the mindset of this guy. What do you think, Dan, Jared? 1:17:47.920 --> 1:17:49.519 Why is this guy calling her all the time late 1:17:49.560 --> 1:17:54.320 at night, Dean? After you? I love him the last one? 1:17:54.320 --> 1:17:56.960 So I figured on and Ali, then I think this 1:17:56.960 --> 1:18:00.200 guy might be just so if she doesn't gets a 1:18:00.200 --> 1:18:03.120 booty call, it depends on what her meaning of deep 1:18:03.200 --> 1:18:06.000 conversation is like, is that just you guys talk about 1:18:06.120 --> 1:18:08.479 very insightful things or I don't have I don't have 1:18:08.520 --> 1:18:12.720 our long phone conversations with anyone. Yeah, so any conversation 1:18:12.760 --> 1:18:15.479 that goes past five minutes I think on the phone specifically, 1:18:15.520 --> 1:18:18.080 I'm saying totally, of course, deeper, not that's something to 1:18:18.120 --> 1:18:20.160 be said, of course. So maybe this guy just really 1:18:20.160 --> 1:18:22.040 likes her, but also is playing it cool because he 1:18:22.040 --> 1:18:23.880 lives across country. He doesn't really know what to do, 1:18:23.960 --> 1:18:25.320 so this is the best thing he can think of, 1:18:25.400 --> 1:18:27.559 just kind of like stay in touch and maybe she'll 1:18:27.600 --> 1:18:29.479 be back on his side of the country. I think 1:18:29.479 --> 1:18:31.000 this is more of a stay in touch thing. Personally, 1:18:31.040 --> 1:18:32.320 if I were to stay in touch with someone that 1:18:32.320 --> 1:18:35.280 just moved across the country, I text them, I don't 1:18:35.320 --> 1:18:38.200 I think that he just enjoys talking to you. I 1:18:38.200 --> 1:18:39.639 don't think that they're I don't think you really should 1:18:39.640 --> 1:18:41.000 read into it more than that. I don't know if 1:18:41.000 --> 1:18:42.760 you really need to put the pressure on yourself to 1:18:42.800 --> 1:18:44.640 say that you need to pursue it or not. I 1:18:44.680 --> 1:18:46.120 think that you should just continue talk to him and 1:18:46.200 --> 1:18:48.639 enjoy it and have fun and see what happens like yeah, yeah, yeah. 1:18:48.640 --> 1:18:49.880 You don't have to push it in any direction. It's 1:18:49.880 --> 1:18:51.960 not going to naturally go right exactly. I do think 1:18:51.960 --> 1:18:55.200 it's a weird combination of loneliness and fear of commitment, 1:18:55.520 --> 1:18:57.240 which I think describes a lot of twenty something men. 1:18:57.800 --> 1:19:00.160 As as as weird as those two things might see him. 1:19:00.200 --> 1:19:02.320 I think it's a lot of people, especially twenty something men, 1:19:02.840 --> 1:19:05.880 who are lonely and want someone to talk to. But 1:19:06.720 --> 1:19:09.439 knowing that she lives across the country makes it completely safe. 1:19:09.600 --> 1:19:11.879 He knows that it's not going to necessarily be a girlfriend, 1:19:12.160 --> 1:19:14.120 She's not gonna expect anything from him. They don't have 1:19:14.160 --> 1:19:15.960 to have the talk and all this stuff that he's 1:19:16.000 --> 1:19:19.439 afraid of, but it's somebody that he can open up to. Agree. 1:19:19.600 --> 1:19:22.320 And here's kind of the weird, awkward beauty of it, 1:19:22.439 --> 1:19:23.960 because you guys have already hooked up, so you know 1:19:23.960 --> 1:19:25.479 that he's not doing this just so he can hook 1:19:25.560 --> 1:19:27.519 up with you, because you guys have already hooked up exactly, 1:19:27.520 --> 1:19:30.320 So it's definitely more well intentioned, I think, and I 1:19:30.320 --> 1:19:31.920 think that you should just continue to kind of let 1:19:31.920 --> 1:19:34.479 it happen naturally. It sounds like it's a good thing 1:19:34.520 --> 1:19:36.080 that you have going on, So just let it keep going. 1:19:36.120 --> 1:19:39.080 Don't be afraid to see other people, let him see 1:19:39.120 --> 1:19:41.200 other people, don't put too much pressure on this thing. 1:19:41.280 --> 1:19:42.639 Just let it be what it is, and who knows, 1:19:42.760 --> 1:19:45.559 if it's meant to be, it'll happen somehow. Good luck, 1:19:45.680 --> 1:19:48.640 good luck. This is Morgan, similar deal. What is a 1:19:48.680 --> 1:19:51.280 guy thinking in these situations? So my best friend and 1:19:51.360 --> 1:19:53.640 roommate and I have been we've been hanging around this 1:19:53.760 --> 1:19:55.880 group of guy friends for the past couple of months. Well, 1:19:55.880 --> 1:19:57.840 I've been crushing hard on one of the guys in 1:19:57.880 --> 1:20:00.160 the group for a few years now, but he's really 1:20:00.160 --> 1:20:02.880 hard to read. The last weekend, this guy that I 1:20:02.880 --> 1:20:05.120 have a crush on. He tried to kiss my roommate. 1:20:05.560 --> 1:20:07.920 She said to him, I can't do that. You're off limits. 1:20:08.320 --> 1:20:12.400 He said, why does Morgan like me? Then he asked 1:20:12.640 --> 1:20:15.000 do you like me? To the roommate. Then he asked 1:20:15.040 --> 1:20:17.720 who likes me more? Then he asked would it be 1:20:17.760 --> 1:20:20.200 weird if I kissed you the roommate, and then kissed 1:20:20.240 --> 1:20:23.040 Morgan later. Then he admitted he likes both of us, 1:20:23.160 --> 1:20:25.080 but didn't want to make the wrong choice. My roommate's 1:20:25.080 --> 1:20:27.720 attracted to him but doesn't like like him. I don't 1:20:27.720 --> 1:20:29.560 know what to do with this new information. Is this 1:20:29.640 --> 1:20:31.280 going to be weird the next time we hang out? 1:20:31.320 --> 1:20:32.920 Why did he try to put himself in a love 1:20:33.000 --> 1:20:35.120 triangle with my roommate and me? What if he actually 1:20:35.120 --> 1:20:37.679 does like me? I'd be willing to accept any thoughts 1:20:37.720 --> 1:20:40.400 or advice to help me navigate this terribly weird situation. 1:20:40.520 --> 1:20:43.519 Everyone involved is twenty four years old and intoxicated while 1:20:43.560 --> 1:20:45.760 confessing their feelings. Well, I think that last line is 1:20:45.800 --> 1:20:48.320 the most important one of the entire email. You guys 1:20:48.320 --> 1:20:50.880 are twenty four years old, and you guys are intoxicated 1:20:50.880 --> 1:20:53.240 while confessing all these feelings, And I do. I do 1:20:53.320 --> 1:20:55.120 want to say, out of all vachelanation, I think Jared 1:20:55.160 --> 1:20:56.960 and I are the least qualified to be giving advice 1:20:57.000 --> 1:21:02.600 on this specific one. Uh. Yeah, I I agree with 1:21:02.640 --> 1:21:07.719 that one. Yeah. I mean I think, yeah, I wouldn't 1:21:07.720 --> 1:21:10.720 take it too seriously if I was Morgan, like, yeah, 1:21:10.800 --> 1:21:14.120 if you like him, I wouldn't really pursue him too hard. 1:21:15.000 --> 1:21:16.920 I think you should just get the hell away from 1:21:16.920 --> 1:21:19.960 this guy. Yeah, I entirely your friend as well, this 1:21:19.960 --> 1:21:22.120 this line right here. Then he admitted he likes both 1:21:22.160 --> 1:21:24.439 of us, but he didn't want to make the wrong choice, 1:21:24.680 --> 1:21:27.000 and that's the biggest red flag any woman should need 1:21:27.040 --> 1:21:29.840 to get out of that relationship. Exactly. I agree. He's 1:21:29.840 --> 1:21:32.360 a twenty four year old guy. He likes you, he 1:21:32.479 --> 1:21:35.320 likes your roommate, he likes anybody that he's got a 1:21:35.360 --> 1:21:37.400 shot with. Exactly. He's gonna be liking a lot of women, 1:21:37.400 --> 1:21:38.599 and you guys are just so happening to be two 1:21:38.600 --> 1:21:41.120 of them. Not to say, you know, that doesn't make 1:21:41.120 --> 1:21:44.080 you special in any way, But think about it this way, 1:21:44.160 --> 1:21:48.280 say Morgan, say, under happenstance you end updating this guy. 1:21:48.520 --> 1:21:50.160 He's always going to be thinking, well, what if I 1:21:50.240 --> 1:21:52.400 ended up dating your roommate's dead. He's always gonna be 1:21:52.400 --> 1:21:54.640 comparing the two, and not only that, you're going to 1:21:54.720 --> 1:21:57.000 be thinking that way, you're gonna be like, I wonder 1:21:57.040 --> 1:21:59.519 if he still likes more, not Morgan, your roommate. I 1:21:59.560 --> 1:22:01.360 wonder if he's still likes my roommate. There's a it's 1:22:01.360 --> 1:22:03.880 a net law situation. No one's ever gonna win, especially 1:22:03.920 --> 1:22:05.679 if you guys were drunk while you're talking about this, 1:22:05.760 --> 1:22:08.200 and it's like this awkward situation where he's asking you, like, 1:22:08.240 --> 1:22:11.599 who likes me more? It's almost it's like a like 1:22:11.640 --> 1:22:13.800 an ego thing for him at this point, It's like, well, 1:22:13.800 --> 1:22:15.360 who likes me more? Who's going to really come back 1:22:15.400 --> 1:22:18.240 for me more? So? I totally agree with Dean, stay 1:22:18.280 --> 1:22:20.200 with from this guy. He's twenty four. I think a 1:22:20.240 --> 1:22:22.080 twenty year old girls should date at twenty eight year 1:22:22.080 --> 1:22:24.640 old minimum. I agree. I've always thought that, Yeah, just 1:22:24.680 --> 1:22:27.880 for just maturity levels. What about a twenty six year 1:22:27.880 --> 1:22:30.280 old dating thirty year old twenty six year old girl 1:22:30.360 --> 1:22:33.120 thirty year old guy? No opposite, opposite? Well, what happens 1:22:33.160 --> 1:22:36.439 in a six year old guy year old girl? I 1:22:36.520 --> 1:22:42.080 see trouble down the road. Oh, Okay, I'm gonna just 1:22:42.120 --> 1:22:46.400 say it right now. Regyards disagree. Alright, one more, Jenna. 1:22:46.880 --> 1:22:48.840 I've been single almost three years now, with a few 1:22:48.880 --> 1:22:51.479 almost relationships during that time. Didn't really have the intention 1:22:51.479 --> 1:22:53.400 of dating anyone while here in grad school, but I 1:22:53.400 --> 1:22:56.680 did end up meeting somebody recently. I've wondered if he 1:22:56.760 --> 1:22:58.880 might be interested in me, because he's always kind of 1:22:58.920 --> 1:23:01.280 awkward and nervous and usually poking fun at me and 1:23:01.280 --> 1:23:03.679 then I do it right back at him. He's mentioned 1:23:03.720 --> 1:23:05.680 interested in another girl he's known since high school, but 1:23:05.720 --> 1:23:07.280 we both said we're content to be on our own 1:23:07.360 --> 1:23:09.240 right now. There's other girls also seeing somebody else, so 1:23:09.280 --> 1:23:12.080 I don't see her as a factor anyway. I'm not 1:23:12.120 --> 1:23:14.000 sure what to do here because the other night we 1:23:14.080 --> 1:23:16.799 went out, we were pretty drunk and we held hands 1:23:16.840 --> 1:23:19.360 in the uber on the ride home. We talked about 1:23:19.360 --> 1:23:20.920 a lot of stuff that night, some of which I 1:23:20.960 --> 1:23:23.200 can't remember because I was pretty drunk too. So what 1:23:23.200 --> 1:23:24.720 do I do. Do I bring this night up, Do 1:23:24.760 --> 1:23:27.080 I address that there maybe unspoken feelings and both of 1:23:27.080 --> 1:23:28.880 our rounds, and do I just appreciate having a close 1:23:28.920 --> 1:23:30.559 guy friend that I can open up to and stick 1:23:30.600 --> 1:23:34.200 to being on my own. This is this is Jenna, 1:23:34.200 --> 1:23:37.600 and this is similar, isn't It's a similar drunk male confessions. 1:23:37.680 --> 1:23:40.160 It's certainly different though, just for the simple fact of 1:23:40.439 --> 1:23:43.760 they these two seem a lot on better terms. Yeah, 1:23:43.760 --> 1:23:46.559 there's more potential here. It's like a friendship I could 1:23:46.600 --> 1:23:49.640 turn into something. Promise to Jenna right now that if 1:23:49.680 --> 1:23:53.599 she doesn't pursue it, I think that she'll kick herself. 1:23:53.760 --> 1:23:56.759 Not that she won't kick yourself, but she will harbor 1:23:56.840 --> 1:23:59.320 a lot of romantic feelings towards him down the line, 1:23:59.600 --> 1:24:01.679 and I think that they might both act on it eventually. 1:24:01.720 --> 1:24:03.280 But I just think that if you really feel this 1:24:03.320 --> 1:24:05.680 way about this some guy, obviously you know it's a 1:24:05.760 --> 1:24:07.200 drunken night, you really have to take those with a 1:24:07.200 --> 1:24:08.519 big grain of sault. So you have to do that 1:24:08.560 --> 1:24:10.960 as well. But um, I've had a friend in a 1:24:11.040 --> 1:24:16.120 situation before where him and this girl were very close friends, 1:24:16.400 --> 1:24:20.320 and they their friendship continued to grow together, and she 1:24:20.439 --> 1:24:22.320 had always kind of expressed interest in him, but he 1:24:22.479 --> 1:24:25.640 obviously wasn't very into it himself, and they eventually like 1:24:25.720 --> 1:24:27.559 drunkenly hooked up one night and then like they kind 1:24:27.560 --> 1:24:29.479 of put a strain on their relationship a little bit, 1:24:29.479 --> 1:24:31.599 so I think that you need to. But the issue 1:24:31.600 --> 1:24:33.680 with that was that there was never the sober conversation 1:24:33.720 --> 1:24:35.320 of hey, this is what we did, this is what 1:24:35.400 --> 1:24:37.559 the how I feel about you? You know, we held 1:24:37.600 --> 1:24:39.559 hands in an uber, we had this deep philosophical talk 1:24:39.600 --> 1:24:41.120 with each other. So what happened with your friend after 1:24:41.160 --> 1:24:43.680 they hooked up? I think they're still friends. But you 1:24:43.720 --> 1:24:45.719 said to put a strain on their relationship. Well, it's 1:24:45.720 --> 1:24:47.599 a temporary strain. I mean you could, like she says, 1:24:47.640 --> 1:24:48.920 at the very end, do I want to have a 1:24:48.920 --> 1:24:50.559 close guy friend who I can open up too and 1:24:50.560 --> 1:24:52.439 stick being on my own? It's very difficult to have 1:24:52.479 --> 1:24:54.559 a close relationship with a guy who you've at least 1:24:54.560 --> 1:24:56.920 one time been romantically interested in or are continuing to 1:24:56.960 --> 1:25:00.560 have romantic interests. For um, I was gonna say, I 1:25:00.600 --> 1:25:02.800 think more so like, yeah, you sure of course you 1:25:02.800 --> 1:25:04.400 could have a close guy friend. But this close guy 1:25:04.400 --> 1:25:06.559 friend that you have you actually have romantic feelings with, 1:25:06.640 --> 1:25:09.360 so are you? There's always going to be that what 1:25:09.520 --> 1:25:11.280 if factor? And if you do have any type of 1:25:11.360 --> 1:25:13.720 romantic feelings, if I were you, I would articulate them, 1:25:13.720 --> 1:25:15.800 because yes, you might lose him as a friend, But 1:25:16.160 --> 1:25:18.960 what's what's better losing him as a friend or always 1:25:18.960 --> 1:25:21.920 having him as a friend and always wondering is there 1:25:21.960 --> 1:25:24.280 something more between us? Yeah? I agree. I think you 1:25:24.320 --> 1:25:25.560 just got to go for it, and I think the 1:25:25.600 --> 1:25:27.360 best way to go about it. And what we've kind 1:25:27.360 --> 1:25:28.960 of seen a trend in these emails at least today 1:25:29.000 --> 1:25:30.680 is a lot of people have been drunk, and I 1:25:30.720 --> 1:25:32.439 think the best thing you can do for yourself is 1:25:32.479 --> 1:25:36.040 to stay sober. Stay sober and have a conversation with him. Um, 1:25:36.160 --> 1:25:38.760 maybe go out to drinks with him and have a conversation. 1:25:38.800 --> 1:25:40.600 That way, by the end of the conversation you're at 1:25:40.680 --> 1:25:43.240 least feeling a little tipsy and that can maybe alleviate 1:25:43.280 --> 1:25:46.000 some of the pressure and stress. Um, just my two 1:25:46.040 --> 1:25:48.000 cents and Jared two cents. That's four cents total. Were 1:25:48.000 --> 1:25:49.960 one penny short of a nickel. But that's not too bad, 1:25:50.439 --> 1:25:52.400 too bad at all, And I agree with Dean. I 1:25:52.439 --> 1:25:55.479 would definitely actively put effort into hanging out with him, 1:25:55.520 --> 1:25:57.920 just one on one, not like having a random setting 1:25:58.080 --> 1:25:59.439 where you guys are out one night and you're like, 1:25:59.600 --> 1:26:01.640 by the way, like, I don't know if if I 1:26:01.640 --> 1:26:04.240 should tell you this or not like actively be like, hey, 1:26:04.280 --> 1:26:06.400 you want to hang out, you know, let's grab dinner 1:26:06.479 --> 1:26:08.000 or something like that, and then you know have a 1:26:08.000 --> 1:26:10.040 moment to be like, this has kind of been bothering me. 1:26:10.080 --> 1:26:11.680 I'm not sure if you remember this night, which I'm 1:26:11.680 --> 1:26:16.040 sure he probably remembers too. So he's the thing is, Jenny, 1:26:16.080 --> 1:26:17.320 he might be going through the same thing you are 1:26:17.400 --> 1:26:19.080 right now where he doesn't know exactly what to do. 1:26:19.200 --> 1:26:21.719 And I had back to the friend thing. My friend 1:26:22.439 --> 1:26:25.439 still she tells me all the time about how me, 1:26:25.720 --> 1:26:27.519 her and my other friend hooked up and they still 1:26:27.560 --> 1:26:29.679 have had zero sober conversations about it, and it's driving 1:26:29.680 --> 1:26:31.640 her insane. Every time I hang out with her, She's like, 1:26:31.640 --> 1:26:33.320 I still haven't talked to about it. I still don't 1:26:33.360 --> 1:26:35.160 know where we stand. It's like, just go talk to 1:26:35.200 --> 1:26:36.800 him about it. And it's weird because like obviously if 1:26:36.800 --> 1:26:37.960 you're in the same friend groups and all that kind 1:26:37.960 --> 1:26:39.840 of stuff, it adds a little different dynamic to it. 1:26:39.880 --> 1:26:43.479 But um, Jenn, I just take that. Take Jared's advice 1:26:43.640 --> 1:26:47.120 and my advice. No, it's all the same. It's all 1:26:47.160 --> 1:26:49.120 the same. So it take Jared mind's advice. Just have 1:26:49.160 --> 1:26:51.000 a sober conversation with him. At least put it out there. 1:26:51.000 --> 1:26:54.200 You're gonna regret it if you don't. UM. But also 1:26:54.280 --> 1:26:55.760 to say, like, if you do put it out there, 1:26:55.800 --> 1:26:57.400 that doesn't mean that the friendship is over. No, not 1:26:57.439 --> 1:27:01.080 at all. Like exactly, you guys could have adult conversation, 1:27:01.120 --> 1:27:02.920 talk about it, maybe realize that you're not right for 1:27:02.960 --> 1:27:05.479 each other, and like Dean said, that friendship will become stronger. 1:27:05.520 --> 1:27:07.439 So you're not really sure. I think it'll be far 1:27:07.479 --> 1:27:09.519 worse if you do hold onto these feelings and never 1:27:09.560 --> 1:27:12.120 really articulate them, because I think it'll just it'll just 1:27:12.360 --> 1:27:14.599 build towards something that you don't want, right. I agree. 1:27:14.880 --> 1:27:17.600 All right, Well, thank you all for joining us for 1:27:17.640 --> 1:27:20.240 this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating. UM. 1:27:20.280 --> 1:27:24.840 Sorry for making you sit through that minute monologue of 1:27:24.880 --> 1:27:27.200 the things that are just afflicting my life. We worry, 1:27:27.320 --> 1:27:29.000 We we love you, Dean, and we worry about you 1:27:29.040 --> 1:27:31.439 sometimes will make sure you're okay. I appreciate it, and 1:27:31.439 --> 1:27:33.000 I will say that as much as I was dreading 1:27:33.000 --> 1:27:34.439 coming in here today to talk about it, it it is 1:27:34.479 --> 1:27:37.639 still nice to like talk and get things off your chest. 1:27:37.720 --> 1:27:40.320 And that's what we're here for you're among friends, and 1:27:40.360 --> 1:27:42.519 I think of the listeners of this podcast also consider 1:27:42.560 --> 1:27:44.400 themselves your friends. They know you're pretty well at this 1:27:44.439 --> 1:27:46.560 point among friends, but still it's kind of scary to 1:27:46.640 --> 1:27:51.800 sometimes just fell your share your absolutely personal issues they 1:27:51.840 --> 1:27:53.880 public format. Yeah, I think you just forget that, Like 1:27:54.000 --> 1:27:57.559 it's not just for people you're talking to rights, Yeah, 1:27:58.000 --> 1:28:02.080 it's like forever. Okay. Anyways, Uh, I really like to 1:28:02.120 --> 1:28:05.000 thank Reginald Lewis for coming on today. Be sure to 1:28:05.000 --> 1:28:08.200 follow on on Instagram at Reginald Lewis. UM. Big thank 1:28:08.240 --> 1:28:10.280 you to match maker Dora de Kaiser or sorry Nora 1:28:10.360 --> 1:28:12.920 de Kaiser, who works with the three Day Rule dot com. 1:28:13.000 --> 1:28:15.720 The word three not the number three, so th h 1:28:15.880 --> 1:28:18.759 R E E day Rule dot com with Nora de Kaiser. 1:28:19.240 --> 1:28:21.240 Keep the emails coming, Um, I say it every week. 1:28:21.280 --> 1:28:22.519 I'll say it this week as well. That's one of 1:28:22.560 --> 1:28:25.160 my favorite parts of this podcast. Um. You know, it's 1:28:25.200 --> 1:28:27.000 it's nice to hear kind of about what's going on 1:28:27.040 --> 1:28:28.800 your guys life. So keep them coming. I suck at 1:28:28.880 --> 1:28:31.800 dating at I heeart Media dot com. Big thank you 1:28:31.880 --> 1:28:36.320 to the emails today Morgan, Jenna, Jesse and Tasha of course, 1:28:36.320 --> 1:28:38.559 big thank you to our sponsor, Beach Body. Uh. Like 1:28:38.600 --> 1:28:40.400 I said, I've been doing it quite a bit. I 1:28:40.439 --> 1:28:42.559 canceled my gym gym membership and have been using them 1:28:42.640 --> 1:28:45.840 pretty much exclusively and eating right because of their nutrition plan. 1:28:45.880 --> 1:28:49.479 And I've already feel a lot better physically. Um and 1:28:49.520 --> 1:28:52.160 you can too, So go to Beach Body. Text Dean 1:28:52.240 --> 1:28:54.360 to thirty thirty. That's d e A N too three 1:28:54.439 --> 1:28:56.800 zero three zero three zero. And of course, big thank 1:28:56.840 --> 1:28:58.679 you to my man Jared for being here with me today. 1:28:59.160 --> 1:29:02.439 Be sure to next week. And uh yeah, thank you 1:29:02.479 --> 1:29:04.400 Dean for no but seriously, thank you Deane for coming 1:29:04.400 --> 1:29:06.040 in and talking about everything that's going on in your 1:29:06.080 --> 1:29:07.760 public life right now, because I know it wasn't easy, 1:29:07.800 --> 1:29:12.720 and um, so a big thank you. Thanks, yeah, thanks Dean, 1:29:12.800 --> 1:29:16.080 Thanks for listening, Thanks for sharing Deane on Tuesday, help 1:29:16.360 --> 1:29:19.160 I Suck at Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart 1:29:19.240 --> 1:29:22.160 Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.