WEBVTT - Josiah just cant stop prank calling 0:00:15.730 --> 0:00:17.970 First thing I want to talk about is when you 0:00:18.010 --> 0:00:23.070 go to a diner, are you getting turkey bacon, regular bacon, sausage, 0:00:23.250 --> 0:00:24.270 or chicken sausage? 0:00:24.750 --> 0:00:27.620 Well, when I go to a diner, I typically get 0:00:27.660 --> 0:00:31.160 the turkey bacon because it tastes really good and my 0:00:31.180 --> 0:00:32.640 name is Inyo Umanzor. 0:00:32.659 --> 0:00:32.720 Oh. 0:00:33.260 --> 0:00:34.080 Period. 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:35.099 That's what I sound like? 0:00:35.140 --> 0:00:35.520 Yes. 0:00:37.780 --> 0:00:40.620 I actually like that. I do feel like I was. 0:00:42.190 --> 0:00:45.909 Really destined like my reincarnation because this isn't my first 0:00:45.950 --> 0:00:49.800 life I do think it was a toss up Between 0:00:50.100 --> 0:00:53.760 this body and mind and the body and mind of 0:00:53.860 --> 0:00:57.520 like a 45-year-old, but specifically in the 80s, who was 0:00:57.660 --> 0:01:00.880 really gay and living in Florida. I don't say Miami 0:01:00.940 --> 0:01:02.680 because he's like bouge like that. 0:01:02.700 --> 0:01:03.440 It's a boy? 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:05.500 He's like, yeah, it's an older gay guy. 0:01:05.660 --> 0:01:07.320 In my past life, I was like an older gay 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.300 guy who like lived in New York for a second, 0:01:10.340 --> 0:01:11.500 but didn't really make it. 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:12.610 What year? 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:16.860 This is the 80s. Like by 88, he was like 27. 0:01:19.819 --> 0:01:21.539 Did he die? No, no, no, no, no. 0:01:21.580 --> 0:01:22.140 He's alive. 0:01:22.220 --> 0:01:26.420 He's not living, like, luxuriously. Well, he did die because 0:01:26.459 --> 0:01:26.860 I'm here. 0:01:27.340 --> 0:01:29.700 Did he do it with a dildo? 0:01:29.740 --> 0:01:30.980 Did he did it with a dildo? 0:01:31.020 --> 0:01:33.740 I like that you guys entertained that for so long. Also, 0:01:33.830 --> 0:01:35.360 I do, in this fantasy. 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:39.790 Have a home in Florida by the beach. 0:01:40.130 --> 0:01:40.650 She was a fairy. 0:01:40.670 --> 0:01:44.929 And you better believe all of the bathrooms are crazy 0:01:45.150 --> 0:01:46.850 seaside themed. 0:01:46.910 --> 0:01:47.170 Like. 0:01:47.930 --> 0:01:51.890 Baby, the hand soap is coming out of an acorn. 0:01:52.450 --> 0:01:54.770 It's coming out of a seashell. The soap is in 0:01:54.790 --> 0:01:55.190 the clam. 0:01:55.250 --> 0:01:59.450 And she sells seashells on the seashore. Try to say that. 0:01:59.990 --> 0:02:02.250 Sally sold seashells on the seashore. 0:02:02.410 --> 0:02:05.610 Girl. Okay, my new age tongue twister that I've realized 0:02:05.890 --> 0:02:09.840 is seat heaters. I always in a car without failure say, 0:02:09.940 --> 0:02:11.220 oh yeah, turn on the heat seaters. 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:13.040 Instead of the seat heaters. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:13.820 Heat seaters. 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.120 The seat geekers. 0:02:16.450 --> 0:02:17.269 What did you just say? 0:02:17.290 --> 0:02:18.270 The Seat Eaters. 0:02:18.389 --> 0:02:18.870 Seat Geek. 0:02:20.230 --> 0:02:24.090 And this episode is brought to you by Seat Geek. 0:02:24.630 --> 0:02:26.840 No, it's not. It's simply not. 0:02:27.139 --> 0:02:29.960 Guys, I had so much energy right before we were filming. Yeah, 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:31.020 they wasted all. 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:34.360 Their fucking energy on running around the house and bothering me. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.640 We were pranking Inya like for the last like 30 minutes, 0:02:37.660 --> 0:02:39.780 like tapping on the glass. Don't tap the glass. 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:40.460 Don't tap the glass. 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:42.320 Don't tap the glass. Do not tap the glass. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:42.600 Eh, eh. 0:02:43.300 --> 0:02:43.700 Eh, eh. 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:47.650 Eh, eh. Do not tap the glass. One thing about 0:02:47.690 --> 0:02:49.490 me is I'm not going to tap the glass. 0:02:49.550 --> 0:02:50.910 No, but you know what they say is if you 0:02:50.930 --> 0:02:52.790 say don't tap the glass, I just got to tap it. 0:02:53.090 --> 0:02:54.220 I mean, I just got to tap it. 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:56.000 It's like don't press the big red button. 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:57.580 I'm very alternative in that way. 0:02:57.860 --> 0:03:02.200 Yeah, you're an alt baddie. Y'all see Drake's new music video? 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:02.959 No. 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:04.700 No, you were talking about it and I was like, 0:03:04.740 --> 0:03:05.200 or Josh was. 0:03:05.220 --> 0:03:07.980 I have like a love for Drake in the sense that, oh, 0:03:08.020 --> 0:03:10.140 he passed. Oh, he passed. 0:03:10.500 --> 0:03:10.570 Aw. 0:03:10.930 --> 0:03:11.610 He passed away? 0:03:11.790 --> 0:03:14.679 Like, Kendrick Lamar really fucked him up because he's dressing, like, 0:03:14.810 --> 0:03:17.700 gothic in this video. Like, I'm not even kidding. He's, like, 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:18.279 gone hard. 0:03:18.300 --> 0:03:20.799 No, Kendrick Lamar did something to him that is, like, 0:03:20.900 --> 0:03:24.200 if the CIA ever wants a torture tactic, ask Kendrick 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:28.000 Lamar because he's wearing a hoodie with that one clown 0:03:28.060 --> 0:03:31.250 character from that, like, Netflix cartoon show that all the 0:03:31.540 --> 0:03:33.410 polyamorous white people in Florida like. 0:03:33.690 --> 0:03:38.170 Also, yeah. All the amazing digital circus. Also, the polycules 0:03:38.650 --> 0:03:41.320 and my... Autistic Nephew. 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:43.240 Oh, does he like that? 0:03:43.260 --> 0:03:44.360 Loves that show. 0:03:44.420 --> 0:03:46.890 I mean, we watched a few episodes of it. I just, like, 0:03:47.030 --> 0:03:48.390 I hate new age animation. 0:03:48.410 --> 0:03:48.970 It's just classic. 0:03:48.990 --> 0:03:51.110 I don't like new age animation. I don't like the 0:03:51.130 --> 0:03:51.610 way it looks. 0:03:51.730 --> 0:03:52.000 I'm very old. 0:03:52.010 --> 0:03:55.110 What happened to me with it is, like, I really 0:03:55.210 --> 0:03:57.330 actually liked it a lot, but then I saw the audience. 0:03:57.390 --> 0:03:59.370 I know, I started watching it because you told me 0:03:59.390 --> 0:04:01.850 to watch it. Yeah, I saw, like, the audience, like, 0:04:02.180 --> 0:04:05.420 that it garnered, and I was like, ugh, like, this sucks. Like, 0:04:05.460 --> 0:04:08.760 they're all, like, zoophiles, and they, like, fuck dogs. Like, 0:04:08.820 --> 0:04:09.780 it's horrible. 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:13.800 One letter. One letter. 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:14.880 That's all it takes. 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:19.320 In indifference. That is like... No, no, no. I'm saying 0:04:19.380 --> 0:04:19.720 it in. 0:04:19.740 --> 0:04:22.740 What the fuck are you saying? 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:23.800 What is going on? 0:04:23.820 --> 0:04:24.479 No, no, no, no, no, no. 0:04:24.940 --> 0:04:28.750 Autistic? If you change the U to an R, baby. 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.190 That's artistic. Clock it. 0:04:33.170 --> 0:04:34.290 And therapist? 0:04:35.990 --> 0:04:37.930 I hate that. The rapist. 0:04:37.950 --> 0:04:38.450 The rapist. 0:04:38.790 --> 0:04:40.430 Well, jurors told me that when I was like starting 0:04:40.450 --> 0:04:41.850 to go to therapy and it kind of set me 0:04:41.910 --> 0:04:42.270 off a bit. 0:04:42.310 --> 0:04:42.940 I can't lie. 0:04:43.529 --> 0:04:44.630 Like I was like, oh, damn. 0:04:44.980 --> 0:04:48.700 If therapy has no more haters, I'm dead. No, that's 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.480 not true. I support therapy. 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.880 Like someone who's running from himself, y'all. Don't listen to 0:04:56.900 --> 0:05:01.729 this person. Maybe that's a bad force. Now that's, you 0:05:01.750 --> 0:05:04.070 know how now TikTok sometimes will be like, check your 0:05:04.110 --> 0:05:05.330 sources on this one. 0:05:05.690 --> 0:05:07.350 That's what just popped up on Drew. 0:05:07.430 --> 0:05:08.210 Above my head. 0:05:08.250 --> 0:05:10.469 Would you rather have a crimson chin or huge teeth? 0:05:11.270 --> 0:05:12.400 Natalie Nunn. 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:15.240 No, crimson chin. Like from apparently a lot of parents, 0:05:15.260 --> 0:05:16.740 like a crimson chin, like a big. 0:05:16.900 --> 0:05:20.839 I feel like I already do. I feel like I 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:22.419 already do have like a big chin. 0:05:22.660 --> 0:05:22.920 No? 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:23.060 No. 0:05:24.630 --> 0:05:27.190 He wants you to say that. Like, exactly. Like, that's 0:05:27.250 --> 0:05:30.310 exactly what he wants, like, us to be like, no, no, 0:05:30.370 --> 0:05:31.369 you're perfect. 0:05:31.870 --> 0:05:33.909 Or would you rather have, like, teeth that are, like, 0:05:33.990 --> 0:05:39.580 four inches tall? Or, sorry, like, two inches tall. Crimson chin. 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:41.700 That's four would be, like, huge. 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:42.940 That's hanging out of my mouth. 0:05:43.140 --> 0:05:43.380 Yeah. 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:48.340 This is the worst episode we've ever recorded, by the way. 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.610 There was no intro. There was no, like, hi, guys. 0:05:50.650 --> 0:05:51.110 Hi, guys. 0:05:51.130 --> 0:05:55.610 Welcome to America. Hi guys, welcome to James Charles today. 0:05:55.630 --> 0:05:58.270 I'm going to do this whole episode as James Charles. 0:05:58.350 --> 0:06:00.250 Also, y'all are sitting in the wrong chairs, like everything 0:06:00.290 --> 0:06:02.750 is upside down. Ask me a question and I'll answer 0:06:02.770 --> 0:06:03.030 the James. 0:06:03.050 --> 0:06:05.560 Well, because you know how Stranger Things, it ended and 0:06:05.580 --> 0:06:08.460 people thought there was an extra episode. Yes. 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:09.500 This is where it starts. 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:09.800 There was. 0:06:09.820 --> 0:06:10.700 We're upside down. 0:06:10.740 --> 0:06:11.419 There was an extra episode. 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:12.480 There's a secret episode. 0:06:12.500 --> 0:06:13.650 Finn told me. Yeah, Finn told me. 0:06:14.140 --> 0:06:15.420 There was an extra episode. 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:18.100 They scrapped it because of the fans. Well, they scrapped 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:18.860 it because. 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:22.100 Well, the fans were being naughty, and that was their charcoal. 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:23.100 That's why someone had to save money. 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:24.870 Wait, someone asked me a question. I'm going to answer 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:25.520 as James Charles. 0:06:26.610 --> 0:06:30.890 What did you eat today? Pussy. 0:06:31.970 --> 0:06:33.849 That's not what he would say, though. He's really gay. 0:06:33.950 --> 0:06:34.770 He would say, like, dick. 0:06:35.990 --> 0:06:37.510 Boy pussy. 0:06:37.529 --> 0:06:40.589 No, he doesn't like ass either. We have it on record. 0:06:40.630 --> 0:06:43.480 He likes talking about sucking dick and cock. And you 0:06:43.510 --> 0:06:44.520 did it at my birthday dinner. 0:06:44.540 --> 0:06:45.720 What did you eat today? 0:06:45.740 --> 0:06:49.560 I ate eggs. I ate semen. 0:06:49.580 --> 0:06:51.400 I ate spit. 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.690 I hate to say it, but Tati Westbrook, if she 0:06:54.730 --> 0:06:56.870 was sat at a table with us at her birthday dinner... 0:06:57.180 --> 0:06:59.900 Her whole fucking month would be ruined. 0:06:59.940 --> 0:07:00.659 Her brain would have exploded. 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:01.800 The things they were saying were. 0:07:01.700 --> 0:07:04.839 Just absolutely vile. One time there was a blind item. 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.000 We were at a dinner table. I think it was 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:09.400 just me and you, Enya. We were with someone, and 0:07:09.420 --> 0:07:12.220 there was a blind item written about us, but they 0:07:12.260 --> 0:07:15.540 didn't know who we were. And it was like so-and-so 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:22.030 was with these two degenerate, psycho, nasty, foul-mouthed freaks. 0:07:22.410 --> 0:07:23.590 And I was like, oh. 0:07:24.470 --> 0:07:26.880 And it was us. And who the fuck. 0:07:26.830 --> 0:07:28.460 Told you to eavesdrop like that? 0:07:28.500 --> 0:07:29.800 Exactly. What, what, what? 0:07:29.820 --> 0:07:31.580 I saw this video on TikTok the other day of 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:31.920 this guy. 0:07:31.940 --> 0:07:34.140 I don't listen to judge. I listen to learn. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:34.580 Exactly. 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:35.900 Personally, I don't eavesdrop to judge. 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:36.280 Exactly. 0:07:36.300 --> 0:07:40.000 I do it to learn, to grow, to see human behavior. 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:40.890 And pattern recognition. 0:07:41.070 --> 0:07:41.730 Observation. 0:07:42.010 --> 0:07:42.390 Yes. 0:07:42.490 --> 0:07:43.870 Lobstervation. Exactly. 0:07:45.130 --> 0:07:45.410 Girl. 0:07:45.830 --> 0:07:48.770 Wait, me when I'm Jill Scott, I'm going to live 0:07:48.830 --> 0:07:49.410 life like it's golden. 0:07:49.430 --> 0:07:51.990 Wait, someone asked me a question. Someone asked me a question. 0:07:52.100 --> 0:07:55.000 I'm going to answer as the crosswalk voice. 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.660 What is the thing that we, like, how many pounds 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:01.240 do you. 0:08:02.180 --> 0:08:03.650 Yes. Weight. 0:08:04.230 --> 0:08:04.530 Weight. 0:08:05.170 --> 0:08:06.610 Weight. Weight. 0:08:08.030 --> 0:08:08.330 Weight. 0:08:09.570 --> 0:08:09.810 Weight. 0:08:11.030 --> 0:08:11.410 Girl. 0:08:11.510 --> 0:08:13.030 Well, I, um. 0:08:14.250 --> 0:08:19.150 In your loudest fucking jewel, like, completely ignoring... Scrolling on 0:08:19.210 --> 0:08:19.710 her damn phone. 0:08:19.740 --> 0:08:21.640 But I got a gold jewel. 0:08:21.940 --> 0:08:27.260 I drove from New York to bumfuck Massachusetts with Orion 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:32.250 to go to a flea market. And in, I don't 0:08:32.270 --> 0:08:36.370 remember if it was, it was Massachusetts. Massive huge tits. No, no, 0:08:36.450 --> 0:08:37.560 it was in New York. 0:08:37.380 --> 0:08:38.220 Before we left. 0:08:38.420 --> 0:08:42.020 I needed a puff bar. And we went and they 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.650 had gold jewels. I got a gold jewel. I fully 0:08:44.690 --> 0:08:46.869 lost it. I dropped it out of my pocket on 0:08:46.910 --> 0:08:49.130 the plane. Serves me right because I. 0:08:49.150 --> 0:08:50.820 You were getting greedy. 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:53.310 Yeah, I was getting greedy. I can be greedy. 0:08:53.450 --> 0:08:54.569 Nobody needs a golden baby. 0:08:54.590 --> 0:08:56.830 But then from that, when I lost my jewel, all 0:08:56.850 --> 0:08:58.510 of that to say, I woke up from a nap 0:08:58.570 --> 0:08:59.990 on the plane and the first thing I asked was 0:09:00.030 --> 0:09:01.350 where Mitch McConnell was. 0:09:01.750 --> 0:09:04.060 I landed at 1222 a.m. on September 4th. 0:09:04.170 --> 0:09:07.550 Hours later, his dilapidated body was seen strolling around. 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:10.520 Did you see the interview questions of him in the 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.220 back of the car? I literally woke up. 0:09:12.260 --> 0:09:14.540 By the way, on the plane and I like woke 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:16.260 up and Orion was with me and I was like, 0:09:16.300 --> 0:09:18.640 where is Mitch McConnell? That was the first thing I said. 0:09:18.980 --> 0:09:21.489 And then she was laughing. I was like, No, but actually, 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.180 I think I woke up from a dream about him 0:09:23.250 --> 0:09:23.620 or something. 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:24.610 And I was like, no, but actually. 0:09:24.630 --> 0:09:27.270 You were bouncing on Mitch McConnell's paraplegic dick. 0:09:27.770 --> 0:09:28.790 The petrified wood. 0:09:28.910 --> 0:09:29.850 The petrified wood. 0:09:31.070 --> 0:09:37.290 If you flick him, there's screams of a thousand souls. Dude, no, 0:09:37.330 --> 0:09:39.270 him in the back of that car is actually what 0:09:39.309 --> 0:09:41.310 I looked like that one night that Crankit sent me 0:09:41.350 --> 0:09:42.250 into a grump fit. 0:09:42.290 --> 0:09:44.270 Have we ever put that video on the podcast? 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:45.339 He's so hot. 0:09:45.790 --> 0:09:47.600 Mitch McConnell. I want to fuck him. I want to 0:09:47.660 --> 0:09:49.340 fuck him so bad. 0:09:49.980 --> 0:09:50.679 But I want a top. 0:09:51.220 --> 0:09:52.500 I want that boy pussy. 0:09:52.620 --> 0:09:53.179 Yes. 0:09:53.260 --> 0:09:56.070 I want that boy pussy. I do. 0:09:56.890 --> 0:09:57.470 That's man pussy. 0:09:57.490 --> 0:09:59.250 I really feel him, though, the way he looks in 0:09:59.270 --> 0:10:01.440 the back of that car. is kind of where my, like, 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.939 mental state has been. Like, I've been in this, like, 0:10:04.020 --> 0:10:09.350 disassociative state a bit. And that's just how I feel. Like, wait. 0:10:09.770 --> 0:10:13.210 Also, when we were driving to massive, huge tits, we 0:10:13.230 --> 0:10:15.990 stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts. Because yas, Boston. 0:10:16.010 --> 0:10:16.110 Yeah. 0:10:17.890 --> 0:10:19.390 No, they don't have the Charlie anymore, but they do 0:10:19.450 --> 0:10:23.380 have the Alex Elixir. It's Alex Earl's drink. 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:24.550 Oh, fear. 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:25.290 Who is that? 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.040 And she's very considerate. There's only three munchkins in the meal. 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:29.040 There's only three munchkins. 0:10:29.100 --> 0:10:31.040 She's conservative, babe. What is a munchkin? 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:33.340 A Dunkin' Donuts munchkin. 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.040 Girl, fuck Dunkin' Donuts. 0:10:35.059 --> 0:10:36.180 Okay, chill, chill, chill, chill. 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:38.420 Not too much on Dunkin'. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:41.400 They might buy a slot. America does not run on Dunkin'. 0:10:42.300 --> 0:10:45.939 Is that their slogan? America runs on Duncan. Girl, America 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:50.690 runs on capitalism, greed, war, Lockheed Martin. 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:54.960 Okay, well, I wasn't going down that whole road. 0:10:55.020 --> 0:10:56.000 No, I'm the bad guy. 0:10:56.179 --> 0:10:58.179 No, I'm just saying a few states run under me. 0:10:58.179 --> 0:11:01.660 No, I'm the bad guy. Yeah, let's talk about sociopolitical economics. 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:02.760 State of the world. 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:05.160 Like, bro. 0:11:05.220 --> 0:11:08.120 That's literally why I've been in the Mitch McConnell state 0:11:08.260 --> 0:11:10.679 is because of that because I have sadly thought about it. 0:11:10.700 --> 0:11:14.520 Well, the episode that, like, got scrapped that we recorded, like, 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.500 you asked a question on it and I was like, wait, 0:11:18.100 --> 0:11:19.920 why don't I know the answer to that? So I 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:20.960 started researching. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:22.060 For the midterms? 0:11:22.100 --> 0:11:22.280 Mm-hmm. 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:24.360 Yeah, I know. I need to tap in. 0:11:24.380 --> 0:11:25.300 I started researching. 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.280 The Daily Show is back. The Daily Report? What the 0:11:28.300 --> 0:11:29.579 fuck is it called? The Daily Report? 0:11:29.620 --> 0:11:31.560 Whatever the fuck it's called with all those random people 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:33.160 who sit at a desk and they tell me news. 0:11:33.700 --> 0:11:35.980 Love it. That's back, so that's good. 0:11:36.100 --> 0:11:37.260 Love it or hate it. 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:39.580 Love it or hate it, we need journalism. 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:43.000 These are the top five things that I will spend 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:47.730 my money on no matter what. Number one, fiber pills. 0:11:48.910 --> 0:11:52.220 Number two, water. Preferably clean. 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:55.090 Number three, my Ouala water bottle. 0:11:56.830 --> 0:11:59.770 My bink water bottle that I've had for going on 0:12:00.809 --> 0:12:01.610 like five years. 0:12:01.690 --> 0:12:03.070 It's very you. Very you. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:03.540 Yeah. 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.640 Oh, my God. I'm just like realizing like my entire 0:12:06.700 --> 0:12:10.050 TikTok feed is just ads now. It's like literally I 0:12:10.110 --> 0:12:13.290 like I have like TikTok. I get two videos and 0:12:13.309 --> 0:12:16.630 then I have to scroll four times because it's like ad, ad, live, 0:12:16.670 --> 0:12:20.070 live stream selling shit, Chinification of America. 0:12:20.150 --> 0:12:20.470 Oh, my God. 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.340 On Pinterest the other day, there was a small board 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:28.469 I had started and I like Didn't realize I ended, like, 0:12:28.790 --> 0:12:31.690 scrolling through the board because it was giving me recommendations. 0:12:31.730 --> 0:12:35.220 But very quickly, it went from other recommended pins to, 0:12:35.460 --> 0:12:38.530 I'm not kidding, just pages on pages of ads. 0:12:38.540 --> 0:12:40.540 It's crazy. Like, all ads. 0:12:40.620 --> 0:12:43.959 Also, all of them were wedding-based ads, which, like. 0:12:44.140 --> 0:12:44.900 You're getting married. 0:12:46.390 --> 0:12:47.170 It's been listening. 0:12:47.429 --> 0:12:47.890 Baby. 0:12:48.429 --> 0:12:49.550 The phone's been listening. 0:12:49.610 --> 0:12:52.010 I know the phone is listening. The phone is a 0:12:52.030 --> 0:12:52.650 powerful tool. 0:12:52.710 --> 0:12:55.309 We were talking about eavesdropping earlier, and I saw this 0:12:55.370 --> 0:12:57.910 video of this guy. Like, he sat next to, like, 0:12:58.090 --> 0:13:02.130 a freshly engaged couple on the airplane. And the couple was, like, 0:13:02.190 --> 0:13:08.810 talking the whole time about how they were, like, their 0:13:09.309 --> 0:13:12.370 sexual health and their relationship. And the guy was, like, 0:13:12.390 --> 0:13:16.370 kind of complaining the whole time. But I pray... to 0:13:16.429 --> 0:13:19.770 be in situations on planes where someone next to me 0:13:20.050 --> 0:13:22.420 is talking about like them having sex, like not in 0:13:22.460 --> 0:13:25.199 a pervy way, but like give me something interesting. Like 0:13:25.220 --> 0:13:28.970 normally I, Sit next to, like, the Fartbox 3000 stinker boots. 0:13:28.990 --> 0:13:30.690 No, but, like, some drama or something. 0:13:30.929 --> 0:13:31.000 Yes. 0:13:31.010 --> 0:13:33.170 Well, I was saying the other day, like, every single 0:13:33.210 --> 0:13:35.570 day of my life has to have a small amount 0:13:35.610 --> 0:13:37.010 of drama. I don't know what it is. 0:13:37.030 --> 0:13:37.890 You love watching drama. 0:13:38.130 --> 0:13:40.720 I love the drama. I literally love the drama. It 0:13:40.740 --> 0:13:43.260 can include me. It can include my loved ones. But, like, 0:13:43.300 --> 0:13:45.620 there needs to be a little drama in my day 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.360 to be satiated. And it's not because I'm a drama queen. 0:13:48.860 --> 0:13:51.160 But it's just, like, it's like a little puzzle for 0:13:51.179 --> 0:13:51.980 me to figure out. 0:13:52.220 --> 0:13:53.360 Okay. Well. 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:57.219 The power went out at our house on the hottest 0:13:57.260 --> 0:14:01.100 day of the year. It was horrible. It was out 0:14:01.179 --> 0:14:04.270 for over eight hours. We have a security system in 0:14:04.330 --> 0:14:09.429 our home and the backup generator or the backup power 0:14:09.470 --> 0:14:12.530 for the security system went out. So I had to 0:14:12.650 --> 0:14:17.280 have a technician for our security company come out and 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.100 fix it. And I did, for some reason, decide to 0:14:20.220 --> 0:14:24.070 cut random wires and a big spark happened. And it 0:14:24.130 --> 0:14:27.320 still didn't stop the beeping. But he came out and 0:14:27.430 --> 0:14:31.520 he was the weirdest guy I have ever encountered in 0:14:31.580 --> 0:14:36.560 my life. Like, full, like, creep, like, oh, like, urine 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.580 security systems to, like, learn the layout of people's homes vibe. Like, 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:42.370 it was genuinely haunting. 0:14:42.380 --> 0:14:43.890 Wait, urine security systems? 0:14:44.290 --> 0:14:44.870 Yeah, like pee. 0:14:44.890 --> 0:14:47.090 I didn't know they had those. 0:14:47.150 --> 0:14:48.870 Yeah, you have to have, like, it's like a chastity belt. 0:14:49.950 --> 0:14:51.510 Do you still have cameras in the toilets in the house? 0:14:51.570 --> 0:14:54.070 I'm pretty sure they do have pee... alarms. 0:14:54.150 --> 0:14:57.010 They literally have something like that. Well, for people who 0:14:57.050 --> 0:14:57.890 pee the bed. 0:14:57.910 --> 0:14:59.250 Tanner was telling us that. 0:14:59.670 --> 0:15:02.070 Yeah, Tanner told us that. 0:15:02.510 --> 0:15:02.770 Yeah. 0:15:03.250 --> 0:15:03.790 Or was. 0:15:04.990 --> 0:15:05.390 Yikes. 0:15:05.590 --> 0:15:08.440 Yeah, he was a big bed wetter. But he was 0:15:08.500 --> 0:15:11.640 so freaky and creepy, bro. And then I completely forgot 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.080 he was in the house because he was like sneaking around. Like, 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:15.900 God knows he probably went in your panty drawer, babe. 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.180 He was a straight man. But he was sneaking around 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:18.900 the house. I forgot. 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.540 And he found some funky stuff. 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:22.479 Yeah, he found. He was like, oh, no. 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:24.260 No, no, no, no. 0:15:24.380 --> 0:15:24.700 Oh, God. 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:26.680 No, it completely changed his whole, like, view on it. 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:27.100 What that mail? 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:27.720 What that mail? 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:29.540 He was like, I'm never doing this again. 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:30.040 What that mail? 0:15:30.580 --> 0:15:33.970 I know. My putrid panties have stopped his perversion. 0:15:33.990 --> 0:15:36.880 Petrified panties, baby. The petrified panties. 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:38.770 Like, yeah. 0:15:39.550 --> 0:15:42.810 Because, like, yeah. My dehydrated. 0:15:42.870 --> 0:15:45.070 I was going to say they break like a cracker. Like, 0:15:45.090 --> 0:15:46.050 you could completely, like. 0:15:48.090 --> 0:15:53.510 You know when people use one of those pulp bags 0:15:53.580 --> 0:15:56.340 if they're juicing something or whatever, and then they'll have 0:15:56.420 --> 0:15:57.700 the pulp jerky? 0:15:57.940 --> 0:16:01.720 That's what's on all my underwear. Dude, that's disgusting. 0:16:01.780 --> 0:16:03.200 The leather, the fruit leather. 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.140 Yeah, I'm making fruit leather down there. 0:16:05.180 --> 0:16:06.240 And you're making fruit leather. 0:16:06.260 --> 0:16:09.220 And you got back yesterday, and immediately, me and Josh 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:10.900 were in the house, and we were like, dude, what 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:12.280 is that smell? 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:13.620 What the milk? 0:16:13.660 --> 0:16:15.760 Yeah, and it was like, dude, and you just got back. 0:16:16.050 --> 0:16:18.330 Yeah, there was a big meal. And yeah, there's a 0:16:18.370 --> 0:16:19.580 big meal that comes off of you. 0:16:21.420 --> 0:16:23.739 And she was like, oh, it's Azul's little box. I 0:16:23.780 --> 0:16:26.550 was like, baby, I don't know because I was here 0:16:26.610 --> 0:16:27.810 earlier and it didn't smell. 0:16:27.830 --> 0:16:28.070 Yeah. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.980 So we need to talk about it. 0:16:31.420 --> 0:16:32.430 We don't talk about burnout. 0:16:32.450 --> 0:16:34.070 We're not talking about the blue juice either. You got 0:16:34.090 --> 0:16:35.430 the blue juice again, second week in a row. 0:16:35.450 --> 0:16:37.630 Yeah, I got my potion. And this is after she 0:16:37.670 --> 0:16:39.229 smoked four joints outside. 0:16:39.250 --> 0:16:43.580 That is just not true. That is just not true. 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.060 Don't let that get out to the press because I 0:16:45.100 --> 0:16:46.160 got a world tour coming up. 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:50.550 There's more cake pop drama on TikTok. So remember with 0:16:50.630 --> 0:16:53.750 Mary Beth, I was explaining the cake pop drama. Well, bitch, 0:16:53.870 --> 0:16:54.650 that community. 0:16:54.670 --> 0:16:57.350 They were trying to like sue her because she used 0:16:57.390 --> 0:16:59.130 somebody's cake pop recipe. 0:16:59.170 --> 0:17:01.410 Yeah. And it was literally in the girl that was 0:17:01.510 --> 0:17:04.360 suing just uses Betty Crocker mix. Like it was this 0:17:04.410 --> 0:17:07.540 whole thing. And like the cake pop community turned their 0:17:07.580 --> 0:17:09.320 backs on her so fast. They were it was like 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:13.900 their their star, their star. This lady was. Bitch, that 0:17:13.940 --> 0:17:18.980 community has fucking shooters. Like, it's crazy. Like, do not 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.060 fuck with K-pop people. I'm not even kidding. It's like 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.500 the new BTS, like, army. Like, do not fuck with 0:17:24.540 --> 0:17:25.180 K-pop people. 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:25.800 The K-poppers. 0:17:25.940 --> 0:17:27.080 Yeah, the K-poppers. 0:17:27.100 --> 0:17:27.340 K-pop. 0:17:27.619 --> 0:17:36.150 Yeah. But anyways, the drama is this. There's this new, like, 0:17:36.230 --> 0:17:40.130 form of selling K-pops online. And it's like you get 0:17:40.170 --> 0:17:43.010 like a freezer cart and you put them at the 0:17:43.070 --> 0:17:46.590 end of your driveway or underneath your eaves, like in 0:17:46.630 --> 0:17:49.850 your doorway. And it's like an honor system. Like you 0:17:49.869 --> 0:17:52.429 can open it up yourself. There's no one selling you anything. 0:17:52.510 --> 0:17:55.650 It's all like your own. You open it up, you 0:17:55.690 --> 0:17:57.660 grab a cake pop out, you scan a QR code 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:01.560 and you send the money. Like that's like the honor system. 0:18:01.619 --> 0:18:04.680 There's plenty of them all over the world. Well, this 0:18:04.859 --> 0:18:13.440 Amazon driver- Was delivering packages. It was 7,000 degrees out. 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:15.500 And you know the thing with Amazon drivers. 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.100 Wait, global warming has gotten that bad? 0:18:18.180 --> 0:18:19.820 No, it was crazy. 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:21.080 No, I'm not kidding. 0:18:21.140 --> 0:18:23.660 That's like going to be a real sentence in like 0:18:23.660 --> 0:18:24.530 20 years. 0:18:25.170 --> 0:18:25.379 It's 7,000. 0:18:25.369 --> 0:18:26.489 So it was 7,000 degrees out. 0:18:27.869 --> 0:18:31.390 The beach was, like, so nice on the 7,000 degree day. 0:18:31.410 --> 0:18:31.669 Oh, my God. 0:18:31.710 --> 0:18:33.030 Well, I don't want to go to the beach if 0:18:33.050 --> 0:18:34.670 it's not at least, like, 7,000 degrees outside. 0:18:35.300 --> 0:18:37.020 Because when it's 500, I'm a bit cold. 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:39.620 Or what if it gets colder because of global warming? 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:47.479 It gets... Beach days are 20 degrees. I would love that, honestly. 0:18:47.570 --> 0:18:48.310 I can't lie. 0:18:48.410 --> 0:18:49.450 You don't like the beach. 0:18:49.490 --> 0:18:51.310 Fuck you. I don't care about the beach at all. 0:18:51.570 --> 0:18:55.830 But wait, let me finish K-pop. So... This Amazon delivery, 0:18:55.850 --> 0:18:58.689 you know, like people like I've done it in Texas 0:18:58.760 --> 0:19:01.939 before with Madeline and my mom. They build carts and 0:19:01.980 --> 0:19:04.080 it's like and they put a refrigerator out there and 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:07.060 it's free treats for delivery drivers, especially in the winter 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:09.100 and the summer. Like you go up, you grab a 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:11.460 bag of chips and a soda and it's just a 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:15.360 cute thing to do. It's like appreciate your delivery drivers 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:20.179 because they're working hard as fuck challenge. Well, this delivery driver. 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:24.460 thought it was free treats so he opened it up 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:26.580 and was like oh yum like a cake pop like 0:19:26.619 --> 0:19:29.010 this is delicious yeah and he ate the fuck out 0:19:29.050 --> 0:19:31.720 of the cake pop and then just left it was 0:19:32.050 --> 0:19:35.010 a three dollar cake pop it wasn't like anything crazy 0:19:35.930 --> 0:19:38.950 bitch the owners i know i'm not even like he's 0:19:38.990 --> 0:19:41.310 little brother like just don't just ignore it like you 0:19:41.330 --> 0:19:45.790 have to ignore it um this dude he or the 0:19:46.030 --> 0:19:49.030 owners of this cake pop stand posted on their facebook 0:19:49.070 --> 0:19:52.820 page like, blowing this man up. Like, we need to 0:19:52.859 --> 0:19:55.770 get this man fired from Amazon. He fucking stole from us. 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:59.040 He's a thief. Blew his ass up. Tried to get 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:01.260 him fucking fired. The internet. 0:20:01.580 --> 0:20:02.780 Mind you, for like. 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:04.600 Three dollars. Four dollars. 0:20:04.619 --> 0:20:08.639 Like a mouthful of cake. A mouthful of cake. 0:20:08.810 --> 0:20:13.280 For 27 seconds of labor. But this, the internet obviously 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:14.880 was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:18.040 not having this. We're not getting this man fired for, like, misunderstanding. 0:20:18.060 --> 0:20:19.680 I'm so sorry. 0:20:20.619 --> 0:20:21.280 I'm so sorry. 0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:24.840 No, he did that shit on purpose. He knew exactly 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:26.780 what he was doing. I saw him open up settings 0:20:26.820 --> 0:20:29.740 and open up ringtone because he's a little bro. And 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:31.460 we weren't giving him any attention. 0:20:31.780 --> 0:20:33.800 See how upset you get? 0:20:33.900 --> 0:20:40.399 Because y'all, before the episode, were literally... bothering me I'm 0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:43.080 going outside to smoke and like look at my phone 0:20:43.420 --> 0:20:46.940 and I'm sitting there and they were tapping on every. 0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:50.180 Fucking window we were tapping the glass we were running 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:52.490 around the house and sneaking under the windows and tapping 0:20:52.530 --> 0:20:53.370 them all over. 0:20:53.190 --> 0:20:56.090 Our backyard and it started outside and then when I 0:20:56.130 --> 0:20:58.490 finally was like okay I'm not gonna like finish this 0:20:58.530 --> 0:21:00.710 whole joint I'm gonna get up and I go to 0:21:00.750 --> 0:21:03.930 go inside and they locked the doors and then they 0:21:03.990 --> 0:21:06.449 said that the doors weren't working and I had to 0:21:06.510 --> 0:21:12.950 crawl in a window But when I finally got inside, 0:21:13.270 --> 0:21:15.689 we can insert it. They were running around the fucking 0:21:15.730 --> 0:21:18.030 house and calling my name and being like, oh. 0:21:18.090 --> 0:21:19.649 I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. 0:21:19.670 --> 0:21:23.590 And I went to two different rooms and then gave 0:21:23.690 --> 0:21:25.850 up and came upstairs because they're fucking bothering me. 0:21:25.890 --> 0:21:27.790 We were hiding behind the couch in the living room 0:21:27.810 --> 0:21:29.930 so she couldn't see us. And I was like, come 0:21:29.950 --> 0:21:32.490 here and you help. She was like, where are you? 0:21:32.510 --> 0:21:34.030 The living room. 0:21:34.410 --> 0:21:35.530 And she went to my room. 0:21:36.170 --> 0:21:36.630 Well, no, no. 0:21:36.650 --> 0:21:40.230 When I first went inside, I assumed, I walked. That 0:21:40.250 --> 0:21:41.889 was before y'all told me y'all were in the living room. 0:21:41.930 --> 0:21:43.950 I walked into the living room assuming y'all were there. 0:21:44.310 --> 0:21:47.429 Nobody there. And then I went to your room. Nobody there. 0:21:48.650 --> 0:21:50.470 And then y'all started fucking screaming. 0:21:51.510 --> 0:21:55.130 Cake pop drama. Let me finish this. So what happened 0:21:55.340 --> 0:22:01.159 was the internet cake pop shooters came after this couple 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:04.060 and they're like, food cart and. 0:22:04.100 --> 0:22:07.679 Absolutely never sell another cake no as long as i'm alive. 0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:12.100 Literally literally that vibe mass reported facebook page like destroyed 0:22:12.140 --> 0:22:15.980 him actually gave this amazon driver a full social media 0:22:16.020 --> 0:22:17.880 career he like woke up the next day with like 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:21.520 a million followers like it's that deep and like now 0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:24.280 he can support his family without having to do backbreaking 0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:26.400 labor and it's because he ate a fucking cake pop 0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:28.780 and it's like karma got its kiss this woman is 0:22:29.020 --> 0:22:31.660 And this husband ruined their goddamn lives because they tried 0:22:31.680 --> 0:22:34.740 to get someone fucking hardworking fired, you fucking losers. 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:40.190 You are a freak, bro. Why would you do that? Also, like, bitch, 0:22:40.330 --> 0:22:41.110 don't leave. 0:22:41.230 --> 0:22:43.629 Just like, okay, I get the honor system, but if 0:22:43.650 --> 0:22:45.689 you're going to be that crazy, I feel like the 0:22:45.730 --> 0:22:49.230 whole setup and purpose of an honor system is knowing 0:22:49.270 --> 0:22:52.600 that there is a pretty high likelihood of somebody not 0:22:52.990 --> 0:22:56.260 abiding by it, but having to just accept the patience 0:22:56.320 --> 0:22:58.120 of like, Well, this is human nature. 0:22:58.200 --> 0:23:00.060 Like, you will be kind, but you might get your 0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:00.480 hand bit a few times. 0:23:00.500 --> 0:23:03.040 Well, because you're being fucking lazy. It's like motherfuckers who 0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:06.100 leave out a big bowl of candy on Halloween outside. Bitch, 0:23:06.180 --> 0:23:10.369 some punk-ass kid, i.e. me, I'm taking the whole fucking 0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:13.949 thing with the bowl, too. Like, because you're lazy. You 0:23:13.970 --> 0:23:14.910 don't want to sit there and be like. 0:23:14.990 --> 0:23:17.870 No, I'm not going to hate on people actually putting 0:23:17.890 --> 0:23:20.210 candy out for Halloween. I'm not going to let that slide. 0:23:20.230 --> 0:23:22.050 No, I'm down for that if they're not home. 0:23:22.510 --> 0:23:25.379 But what if it's midnight at this point? 0:23:25.540 --> 0:23:25.940 Well, no. 0:23:25.980 --> 0:23:27.640 Who the fuck is trick-or-treating at midnight? 0:23:27.760 --> 0:23:28.920 The teenage punks. 0:23:29.220 --> 0:23:29.300 Me. 0:23:31.090 --> 0:23:33.050 What are you, fucking 85? 0:23:33.030 --> 0:23:37.030 Well, one time I got called on Halloween. Like, I 0:23:37.070 --> 0:23:40.820 was probably, like, 11 or 12. And someone that was. 0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:42.500 Well, the rascals come out at that time. 0:23:42.520 --> 0:23:47.899 Someone that didn't know I was related to my parents 0:23:48.020 --> 0:23:50.560 was really, really rude to me on Halloween. They said 0:23:50.580 --> 0:23:53.810 I was too old and denied me candy. I was 0:23:54.010 --> 0:23:57.270 so excited. I was so excited to trick-or-treat. Trick-or-treating, I 0:23:57.290 --> 0:23:59.790 was like 11 or 12. That's not too old. It 0:23:59.910 --> 0:24:04.110 was not too old at all. And I've never felt 0:24:04.170 --> 0:24:06.450 more protected in my life by my parents. They like 0:24:06.510 --> 0:24:11.910 fucking destroyed this man. Like literally destroyed him. 0:24:12.290 --> 0:24:12.989 They blew him up. 0:24:13.369 --> 0:24:17.240 They shot IBM rockets. No, not IBM. What is it? 0:24:17.270 --> 0:24:19.950 Is it IBM rockets? IBS rockets at his house. 0:24:20.190 --> 0:24:21.170 They shit all over. 0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:22.300 Heat-seeking missiles. 0:24:24.960 --> 0:24:28.480 Well, I felt protected like that when my dad heard 0:24:28.560 --> 0:24:35.270 a YMCA counselor call me or ask if I was deaf, dumb, 0:24:35.310 --> 0:24:37.510 or blind. And then he drove to the school and 0:24:37.530 --> 0:24:38.330 beat the guy up. 0:24:38.710 --> 0:24:39.670 That's so fierce. 0:24:39.750 --> 0:24:41.530 Yeah. Have I told that story before? 0:24:41.550 --> 0:24:42.690 I think you have. 0:24:42.730 --> 0:24:43.750 I think I have. 0:24:43.930 --> 0:24:45.690 Yeah. Leave a comment if we haven't because it's a 0:24:45.750 --> 0:24:47.050 fucking good one, bro. 0:24:47.710 --> 0:24:49.470 Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was I going to say before that? 0:24:49.490 --> 0:24:51.070 What were we talking about? Oh, the cake pop shit? 0:24:51.090 --> 0:24:51.810 Yeah. 0:24:53.150 --> 0:24:56.040 Oh, no, we were talking about Halloween. I saw a 0:24:56.080 --> 0:24:59.660 TikTok that somebody was talking about how most houses just 0:24:59.760 --> 0:25:03.850 leave candy out now rather than, like, handing it out 0:25:03.960 --> 0:25:05.370 and answering the door. 0:25:05.390 --> 0:25:06.830 And I do agree. 0:25:06.930 --> 0:25:08.389 I think that makes me sad. 0:25:09.050 --> 0:25:10.910 Like, I look forward to doing that when I'm old, like, 0:25:10.970 --> 0:25:13.540 sitting there on Halloween. And, like, seeing the kids in 0:25:13.560 --> 0:25:15.959 their fun little costumes and being like, here's your candy. 0:25:15.980 --> 0:25:16.260 Yeah. 0:25:16.540 --> 0:25:18.590 And being the house that has, like, good-ass bars. We 0:25:18.609 --> 0:25:18.869 do that. 0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:19.510 I know. 0:25:19.550 --> 0:25:20.710 We've been doing that here. 0:25:20.810 --> 0:25:21.350 Yeah. 0:25:21.770 --> 0:25:24.970 Well, I was driving through a really nice neighborhood. 0:25:24.990 --> 0:25:26.290 Well, we tried to do it in our old neighborhood, 0:25:26.369 --> 0:25:27.669 but nobody went. 0:25:27.690 --> 0:25:28.709 No one was trick-or-treating there. 0:25:28.869 --> 0:25:31.209 Nobody wanted to. Nobody. That was the scary place. 0:25:31.230 --> 0:25:32.330 They did not want to. 0:25:32.369 --> 0:25:34.970 I mean, really, like, thinking back to what we went 0:25:34.990 --> 0:25:37.570 through in that house is crazy. And we just stayed. 0:25:37.590 --> 0:25:39.260 Well, someone tried to set the house on fire. Yeah. 0:25:39.780 --> 0:25:41.780 Somebody tried to kill Lucas near the end. 0:25:41.859 --> 0:25:45.340 Yes, someone broke in and stole all his panties and 0:25:45.440 --> 0:25:47.720 shaved themselves and chased me. 0:25:48.140 --> 0:25:50.800 That was me, man. That was Josie. 0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:53.160 He just didn't know if he was welcome yet. 0:25:53.420 --> 0:25:58.439 But we are having neighborhood drama in this house. We 0:25:58.460 --> 0:26:01.199 can't get into it because there is litigation going on. 0:26:01.220 --> 0:26:02.400 There are lawsuits. 0:26:02.440 --> 0:26:02.880 Wait, actually? 0:26:03.609 --> 0:26:06.469 No. Oh, there should be. There was some really crazy 0:26:06.510 --> 0:26:11.820 shit that happened to Josh in our neighborhood. Not my 0:26:11.859 --> 0:26:14.580 story to tell, so I won't tell him. But just 0:26:14.619 --> 0:26:16.639 know I fucking hate my neighbors. And if you're tuning in, 0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:22.790 I fucking hate you, bitch. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but... 0:26:22.830 --> 0:26:26.130 Put a spell on them. kind of proved the point 0:26:26.250 --> 0:26:28.369 that they are letting their... They are purposely pooping on 0:26:28.430 --> 0:26:30.130 our yard. They are shitting on our yard on purpose. 0:26:30.150 --> 0:26:32.639 They hate us. Do they have dogs? Well, no, it's everybody. Yes, 0:26:32.690 --> 0:26:32.929 they do. 0:26:32.930 --> 0:26:33.230 They do. 0:26:33.330 --> 0:26:35.710 It's everybody in this neighborhood. They're in a fucking group 0:26:35.730 --> 0:26:38.040 chat without us and they just, like, shit talk us 0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:40.540 the whole time. That was implied by this woman. 0:26:40.619 --> 0:26:40.919 Yeah. 0:26:42.020 --> 0:26:44.920 Well, because we're young. Because we're young and fun. We 0:26:44.940 --> 0:26:45.440 don't belong. 0:26:45.820 --> 0:26:48.020 We're young and fun. Oh, but I was driving through, like, 0:26:48.060 --> 0:26:50.460 a really nice neighborhood the other day, just, like, up 0:26:50.520 --> 0:26:52.359 and down Mulholland because I was bored as fuck. 0:26:53.300 --> 0:26:53.750 And.... 0:26:55.030 --> 0:26:56.609 I saw a sign that was really cute. And it 0:26:56.650 --> 0:26:58.870 was like, hey, if you want free Christmas lights, like 0:26:58.950 --> 0:27:01.270 call our number if you're on our street. And there's 0:27:01.290 --> 0:27:03.790 like a house in this neighborhood that like wants to 0:27:03.850 --> 0:27:07.050 bring the spirit of Halloween back and was like, oh, 0:27:07.070 --> 0:27:09.390 we'll put up Halloween lights and decorations in your yard 0:27:09.570 --> 0:27:12.830 for free. And I was like, wow, that's community. And 0:27:12.850 --> 0:27:16.830 then I found out later that the couple streets over 0:27:16.890 --> 0:27:20.450 is like one of the most iconic Halloween streets in L.A. 0:27:20.600 --> 0:27:23.850 It's like It's like you move to that street to 0:27:23.970 --> 0:27:26.050 give candy out on Halloween. Like, that's the thing. 0:27:26.930 --> 0:27:27.000 Wow. 0:27:27.050 --> 0:27:28.109 They give, like, big candy bars. 0:27:28.130 --> 0:27:28.320 Oh, my God. 0:27:28.350 --> 0:27:29.930 I can't believe I'm at the age where that would 0:27:29.970 --> 0:27:33.880 be so creepy. You'd have allegations. 0:27:33.900 --> 0:27:38.100 Like, if I dressed a certain way, people would be like, oh, okay, 0:27:38.140 --> 0:27:40.380 this is weird. Like, if nobody got a good look 0:27:40.420 --> 0:27:42.750 at me because of my stature, I think people would 0:27:42.770 --> 0:27:45.830 probably be like, oh, this sad, lonely, like, what, teen 0:27:45.869 --> 0:27:47.690 girl or, like, college girl. 0:27:47.790 --> 0:27:48.030 Teen girl. 0:27:48.050 --> 0:27:50.649 Teen girl. No, I'm thinking, like, I got, well, my 0:27:50.690 --> 0:27:53.550 face is fully covered. And this idea, like, I'm really 0:27:53.609 --> 0:27:54.510 betting on the fact. 0:27:54.670 --> 0:27:55.250 You're wearing a mask. 0:27:55.270 --> 0:27:55.350 Yeah. 0:27:55.369 --> 0:27:55.810 In my head. 0:27:55.830 --> 0:27:56.410 A bag over your head. 0:27:56.430 --> 0:27:58.410 I'm really leaning on the fact that I just, like, 0:27:58.450 --> 0:28:01.550 if I stood in a group of teens because of 0:28:01.609 --> 0:28:07.939 my height alone, I could pass through. But, yeah, if 0:28:08.080 --> 0:28:10.960 I was just there alone, they'd be like, oh, guys. 0:28:10.980 --> 0:28:11.800 I could probably pass. 0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:12.639 The killer. 0:28:12.680 --> 0:28:16.859 The killer is here. No, without a mask. They'd probably 0:28:16.880 --> 0:28:18.280 be like, who's this little kid? 0:28:19.359 --> 0:28:19.459 No. 0:28:19.480 --> 0:28:20.419 Look at this little guy. 0:28:20.460 --> 0:28:23.240 They see some light on my face and they're like, whoa. 0:28:23.570 --> 0:28:23.919 Whoa. 0:28:24.119 --> 0:28:25.449 This is a soul that's seen many things. 0:28:25.470 --> 0:28:27.649 Do not put up lighting on my face. I'll tell 0:28:27.670 --> 0:28:29.869 you right now. Do not put lighting going up on 0:28:29.910 --> 0:28:30.350 my face. 0:28:30.670 --> 0:28:31.770 You will be very scared. Well, they might think that 0:28:31.790 --> 0:28:33.609 you're doing like an old lady thing. 0:28:35.590 --> 0:28:37.350 Like an 80-year-old, like, yeah. 0:28:37.450 --> 0:28:38.290 No, not an 80-year-old. 0:28:38.410 --> 0:28:38.630 No. 0:28:38.650 --> 0:28:42.320 But they might be like, oh, you're like... They might 0:28:42.360 --> 0:28:43.760 just think you're a kid with some makeup on. 0:28:43.760 --> 0:28:44.320 It's so crazy. 0:28:44.360 --> 0:28:46.590 I really am not bothered by, like, the idea of 0:28:46.630 --> 0:28:50.170 looking old or young. But I do get told specifically 0:28:50.210 --> 0:28:53.490 when I'm traveling in the airport. I get pulled aside 0:28:53.510 --> 0:28:56.710 a lot because they have to verify that. 0:28:58.900 --> 0:29:00.940 I can be traveling alone. I'm not even kidding. 0:29:01.040 --> 0:29:02.520 I've been with you before. 0:29:02.560 --> 0:29:05.120 Yeah, and they'll be like, what are you, 16 or something? 0:29:05.140 --> 0:29:06.620 And I'm like, Bitch, I'm 27. 0:29:06.600 --> 0:29:09.680 But it's literally because when I don't have makeup on 0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:11.580 and my hair is all fucked up, I kind of 0:29:11.620 --> 0:29:13.400 do look like a kid just off that. 0:29:13.440 --> 0:29:14.090 It's like, damn. 0:29:15.030 --> 0:29:17.650 Like, people can't believe a grown woman. 0:29:17.370 --> 0:29:19.290 Would leave the house looking like that. 0:29:19.310 --> 0:29:21.570 They do the same to me. They can't believe I'm 16. 0:29:21.570 --> 0:29:24.310 I've never seen that happen with you. They think I'm 0:29:24.370 --> 0:29:26.469 like 28 or 30. And I know, baby, I'm 16. 0:29:26.470 --> 0:29:30.540 I also think my teeth being crooked the way they 0:29:30.600 --> 0:29:34.120 are specifically, I think I have like, especially now that 0:29:34.180 --> 0:29:35.480 most adults who. 0:29:37.840 --> 0:29:40.310 are alive are like getting their teeth fixed as fuck 0:29:40.490 --> 0:29:41.670 like I. 0:29:41.650 --> 0:29:45.230 Might though I'm thinking about getting mine fixed but just 0:29:45.390 --> 0:29:46.170 these two. 0:29:46.770 --> 0:29:48.800 Just get two big ass fucking veneers. 0:29:48.910 --> 0:29:50.780 I want to keep the gap. Mind the gap. I 0:29:50.800 --> 0:29:51.800 want to keep the gap. 0:29:51.840 --> 0:29:52.740 Yeah, you want to mind the gap. 0:29:52.780 --> 0:29:53.840 I'm minding the gap. 0:29:54.060 --> 0:29:57.240 Remember when I thought minding the gap was like a 0:29:57.380 --> 0:29:59.200 sexism like saying. 0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:00.160 No. 0:30:00.180 --> 0:30:01.720 Do you remember that? I think in an episode. 0:30:01.760 --> 0:30:02.640 Like the wage gap? 0:30:02.700 --> 0:30:05.320 Yeah, I thought it was talking about the wage gap. 0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:07.560 Like we were in a conversation about the wage gap 0:30:07.580 --> 0:30:08.940 and I was like, yep, mind the gap. 0:30:09.540 --> 0:30:16.420 Mind the gap. Well, I found out that I shouldn't. 0:30:17.240 --> 0:30:22.500 Be using the Tretinoin from TikTok shop. I bought a 0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:23.900 bunch of Tretinoin from TikTok shop. 0:30:23.920 --> 0:30:25.100 You didn't know that already? 0:30:25.120 --> 0:30:26.980 You bought Tretinoin from TikTok shop? 0:30:27.000 --> 0:30:27.440 Seriously? 0:30:27.560 --> 0:30:27.840 Yeah. 0:30:28.380 --> 0:30:29.180 Are you dead ass? 0:30:29.400 --> 0:30:30.310 Yeah, I did. 0:30:30.370 --> 0:30:30.670 True. 0:30:31.010 --> 0:30:33.230 And the thing is, you knew it was wrong because 0:30:33.250 --> 0:30:34.210 you didn't tell anybody. 0:30:34.230 --> 0:30:34.470 I know. 0:30:34.510 --> 0:30:34.970 Yeah. 0:30:35.430 --> 0:30:35.710 I know. 0:30:35.910 --> 0:30:37.790 That's like getting back with like a toxic ex and 0:30:37.810 --> 0:30:38.370 you don't tell nobody. 0:30:38.490 --> 0:30:40.410 I don't know if it actually. 0:30:40.130 --> 0:30:40.730 Worked, but it did burn. 0:30:40.750 --> 0:30:42.230 Well, it kind of is because everything he buys from 0:30:42.270 --> 0:30:45.170 TikTok shop is literally absolute goddamn garbage. 0:30:45.250 --> 0:30:47.800 Well, yeah, he bought that projector from there that one time. 0:30:47.880 --> 0:30:50.760 And he's like, dude, this thing's going to be the shit. 0:30:51.780 --> 0:30:53.280 It suck dick. 0:30:53.300 --> 0:30:54.680 Do you remember the hot bowl? 0:30:54.700 --> 0:30:57.100 Ew. He bought a hot bowl. 0:30:57.120 --> 0:31:00.560 TikTok shop hot bowl. But yeah, the tretinoin, I don't 0:31:00.600 --> 0:31:03.460 know if it's actually tretinoin, but it did start burning 0:31:03.500 --> 0:31:08.130 a little bit. Which I attributed to it being tretinoin, 0:31:08.150 --> 0:31:10.020 but it could just be sulfuric acid. 0:31:10.040 --> 0:31:12.160 No, it's definitely not. It's not supposed to burn. 0:31:12.320 --> 0:31:14.840 Yeah. But, like, it's crazy that, like, I wanted to test. 0:31:14.900 --> 0:31:16.320 I wanted to see if you could actually buy it, 0:31:16.400 --> 0:31:19.260 and you can actually buy it. You can buy tretinoin 0:31:19.280 --> 0:31:20.020 off TikTok shop. 0:31:20.320 --> 0:31:21.250 You can buy a lot of things off. 0:31:21.260 --> 0:31:21.580 What's next? 0:31:21.620 --> 0:31:22.640 Percocets, please? 0:31:24.490 --> 0:31:27.390 The crazy thing is, is Josh has got a... He 0:31:27.430 --> 0:31:31.390 got his wisdom tooth out. Imagine if he only had one. 0:31:31.690 --> 0:31:32.850 He got his wisdom tooth out. 0:31:33.510 --> 0:31:33.590 Um. 0:31:34.680 --> 0:31:36.840 And he had like this lineup of like pain meds 0:31:36.880 --> 0:31:37.240 and stuff. 0:31:37.360 --> 0:31:38.020 I took a picture. 0:31:38.140 --> 0:31:41.890 And there was tramadol there. And I'm not kidding. 0:31:41.950 --> 0:31:42.490 Hydrocodone. 0:31:42.670 --> 0:31:44.590 I was like, damn, I could just take that. 0:31:44.730 --> 0:31:45.570 He would have no idea. 0:31:45.590 --> 0:31:47.450 If I like took a few out of it and 0:31:47.490 --> 0:31:50.080 just like took it. Because I was like, damn, that 0:31:50.100 --> 0:31:50.660 would hit the spot. 0:31:50.700 --> 0:31:51.860 Why would they give him so much? 0:31:52.500 --> 0:31:55.780 Because he's a very important person. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. 0:31:55.800 --> 0:31:58.000 They want to make sure his pain is managed. 0:31:58.640 --> 0:32:06.470 I would sneak into my friend's parents' bathroom and steal 0:32:06.570 --> 0:32:11.950 pills from the medicine cabinets. And I regret it every day. 0:32:12.470 --> 0:32:15.570 Would you take a sex pill? Oh, I'm not kidding. 0:32:15.610 --> 0:32:17.740 I did take Viagra from my friend's dad. 0:32:17.880 --> 0:32:19.340 Oh, you told me this. 0:32:19.760 --> 0:32:20.060 Yes. 0:32:20.380 --> 0:32:22.540 Yeah. I've never taken that, but I think I'm going 0:32:22.580 --> 0:32:25.380 to start getting it in Bluetooth every day. 0:32:26.060 --> 0:32:28.460 Oh my god, I saw a blue chew ad while 0:32:28.500 --> 0:32:29.080 I was at. 0:32:28.980 --> 0:32:30.340 The Holiday Inn. You should take blue chew. 0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:30.960 See what happens. 0:32:31.460 --> 0:32:32.980 Yeah, see if my nipples get hard or something. 0:32:33.010 --> 0:32:35.350 You might grow a dick. You don't know. 0:32:35.610 --> 0:32:36.690 My clit expands. 0:32:37.350 --> 0:32:38.890 I mean, I don't know what the fuck they're putting 0:32:38.930 --> 0:32:39.970 in blue chew, so maybe. 0:32:41.590 --> 0:32:42.250 Tadatafil. 0:32:44.030 --> 0:32:46.910 I don't take drugs like that. Like, you guys are 0:32:46.950 --> 0:32:48.430 talking about like shit that- I don't either. 0:32:48.620 --> 0:32:49.390 It's Viagra. 0:32:50.660 --> 0:32:55.170 No, I really don't think I have like- any sort 0:32:55.290 --> 0:32:59.209 of affinity for that side of drugs. 0:32:59.230 --> 0:33:00.190 Like, I just don't, like. 0:33:00.210 --> 0:33:01.910 Does my hair look big right now? 0:33:01.930 --> 0:33:04.950 What are you running from? Grow up. Toughen up. 0:33:04.990 --> 0:33:07.650 Well, I agree. Who has the time to do it? 0:33:08.030 --> 0:33:10.150 Like, because that's a really, really slippery slope. Y'all don't understand, though. 0:33:10.190 --> 0:33:11.890 It feels so good. 0:33:12.210 --> 0:33:14.270 You know what also feels good? Sitting on the couch 0:33:14.290 --> 0:33:14.930 with you guys. 0:33:15.450 --> 0:33:19.190 That's so true. I was thinking that last night. Because we, 0:33:19.250 --> 0:33:21.520 the three of us, hadn't been together in, like, maybe 0:33:21.540 --> 0:33:22.360 close to two weeks. 0:33:22.670 --> 0:33:22.930 Yeah. 0:33:23.110 --> 0:33:25.570 But it felt like so long and we were. 0:33:25.330 --> 0:33:27.950 Like together last night. Y'all were on a wavelength when 0:33:27.990 --> 0:33:30.920 y'all got into the house that I have never expected. 0:33:30.940 --> 0:33:31.920 Why do you keep looking at my hair? 0:33:31.940 --> 0:33:32.440 What's going on? 0:33:32.540 --> 0:33:33.520 It looks really good. 0:33:33.640 --> 0:33:34.080 Oh, really? 0:33:34.100 --> 0:33:35.460 Yeah, it looks actually so good. 0:33:35.500 --> 0:33:35.860 Your hair? 0:33:36.120 --> 0:33:37.800 It looks like you got like at least the front 0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:39.690 part of it fully just done by someone. 0:33:39.730 --> 0:33:40.430 Wow. 0:33:40.450 --> 0:33:41.390 I thought the opposite. 0:33:42.090 --> 0:33:43.010 We look like shit. 0:33:43.210 --> 0:33:43.410 Yeah. 0:33:44.450 --> 0:33:45.210 Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. 0:33:47.380 --> 0:33:48.980 I need to use some of that dry salt because 0:33:49.020 --> 0:33:52.700 my shit is slippery. Like, my armpit is a slip 0:33:52.720 --> 0:33:53.590 and slide right now. 0:33:54.130 --> 0:33:55.670 Yeah. What was I saying? Oh, y'all, we're on, like, 0:33:55.710 --> 0:33:58.590 a level and a wavelength that I've never experienced before 0:33:58.790 --> 0:34:01.310 in my life. She's asking for my vape. 0:34:01.370 --> 0:34:06.810 I don't have a vape, though. I don't vape. And 0:34:06.830 --> 0:34:09.170 it was getting watched last night before we came in. 0:34:09.570 --> 0:34:12.610 There was a guy, a kid. Well, this goes back. 0:34:12.370 --> 0:34:15.680 To the, like, shit with our neighbors. Like, literally, our neighbors, 0:34:15.800 --> 0:34:18.600 I don't know what they think we do or who 0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:21.920 they think we are, but they are fucking petrified of us. 0:34:22.000 --> 0:34:25.040 Like, literally, in their head, we are Diddy. Like, I 0:34:25.100 --> 0:34:25.540 don't know. 0:34:25.580 --> 0:34:26.060 We are Diddy. 0:34:26.120 --> 0:34:26.580 We are Diddy. 0:34:26.600 --> 0:34:29.180 Like, unironically, I don't know what they think. 0:34:29.200 --> 0:34:31.509 Dude, it's like a Get Out. 0:34:32.610 --> 0:34:33.339 like, street. 0:34:33.480 --> 0:34:33.900 Yeah, it really is. 0:34:33.900 --> 0:34:36.870 Like, they are like, no, like, y'all don't get it. 0:34:36.960 --> 0:34:39.240 These people here, no, no, no, no. 0:34:39.340 --> 0:34:40.000 They are evil. 0:34:40.160 --> 0:34:40.940 They're bad seeds. 0:34:41.120 --> 0:34:46.260 Um, but, when Josie was pulling up, to be fair, 0:34:46.300 --> 0:34:49.950 you did get really close to the other car, but like, 0:34:50.030 --> 0:34:51.390 I still, why was he looking outside? 0:34:51.430 --> 0:34:52.550 But that's not even their car. 0:34:52.570 --> 0:34:52.870 Yeah. 0:34:52.989 --> 0:34:54.069 Yeah, I'm like, mind your fucking business. 0:34:54.090 --> 0:34:56.930 That's the other house's car. But by the way, they 0:34:56.950 --> 0:34:58.690 can park in front of our fucking house, but the 0:34:58.750 --> 0:35:00.830 second we park in front of their house, they lose 0:35:00.850 --> 0:35:04.340 their goddamn minds. Short fuse. Girl, fuck y'all. Mind your 0:35:04.420 --> 0:35:07.540 fucking business. I will say I did power wash the 0:35:07.760 --> 0:35:12.489 front of our house while you were gone. And I 0:35:12.670 --> 0:35:16.529 accidentally sprayed that car with a bunch of mud. But 0:35:16.550 --> 0:35:18.140 I don't care. They're mean to me. 0:35:18.489 --> 0:35:21.430 Yeah. Get the fuck out. Like get away from my property. 0:35:21.850 --> 0:35:26.310 Do you remember when I was like, Hey, just by 0:35:26.350 --> 0:35:31.660 the way, you're on our land. Dude, this guy like was, um, 0:35:32.640 --> 0:35:35.640 high as fuck on mushrooms in our neighborhood. And he 0:35:35.680 --> 0:35:39.910 like our house before we moved in was super abandoned. Um, 0:35:40.489 --> 0:35:44.710 and he, um, was just sitting in our front yard, 0:35:44.770 --> 0:35:47.060 like like looking at the view. 0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:50.120 Enjoying his life grass twirling with the grass with his. 0:35:50.050 --> 0:35:53.830 Fingers like loving his life watching the sunset from our 0:35:53.850 --> 0:35:56.810 yard and he had no idea that people still lived 0:35:56.850 --> 0:36:01.590 in the house or moved into this house and then 0:36:01.910 --> 0:36:06.250 he is just like chilling there and um i go 0:36:06.330 --> 0:36:08.879 outside but there's video footage we put a lav mic 0:36:08.910 --> 0:36:11.920 and recorded me doing it but for some reason like 0:36:13.239 --> 0:36:15.799 deep Southern roots came out of me. And like, I 0:36:16.060 --> 0:36:18.280 even had like a Southern accent. And I said something 0:36:18.300 --> 0:36:20.390 like along the lines of like, hey, by the way, 0:36:20.430 --> 0:36:23.370 you're like on our land. And it like came out 0:36:23.430 --> 0:36:27.009 like really like, Republican and creepy. And he was like, 0:36:27.250 --> 0:36:29.450 Oh my god, I'm so sorry, like a bumblebee landed 0:36:29.530 --> 0:36:31.000 on me. And I just had to sit down here. 0:36:31.040 --> 0:36:32.520 And I was like, Oh, And I was like, no, 0:36:32.540 --> 0:36:34.299 you're good. Like, you can chill as long as you want. 0:36:34.340 --> 0:36:35.779 But just like I just want to let you know 0:36:35.820 --> 0:36:38.299 that someone lives here now. But we were really creeped 0:36:38.360 --> 0:36:39.440 out by him. I remember. 0:36:39.460 --> 0:36:42.100 Well, because we had got home parked in the front 0:36:42.200 --> 0:36:44.649 and literally were getting stuff out of the car because 0:36:44.690 --> 0:36:46.150 this was like when we had just moved in. And 0:36:46.190 --> 0:36:48.790 I think we had gone shopping. for like house stuff. 0:36:48.810 --> 0:36:50.250 So we were bringing a bunch of bags up to 0:36:50.270 --> 0:36:53.250 the front door and moving around him and he did 0:36:53.310 --> 0:36:56.109 not look at us once. Like he didn't, he wasn't 0:36:56.150 --> 0:36:58.529 wearing headphones and he didn't turn his head. So that's 0:36:58.570 --> 0:37:00.210 when we got creeped out because we were like, okay, 0:37:00.230 --> 0:37:01.750 it's one thing to just like be on a random 0:37:01.770 --> 0:37:04.109 property and like not think somebody lives there. But then 0:37:04.130 --> 0:37:07.069 to like hear like glass bottles and shit dropping on 0:37:07.090 --> 0:37:10.730 the floor and like front door opening, it's like loud. 0:37:10.810 --> 0:37:14.370 We're talking to each other. and not looking. I was like, 0:37:14.410 --> 0:37:16.790 oh my god, he's so scary. But then, with all 0:37:16.850 --> 0:37:18.550 that and the Bumblebee. 0:37:18.090 --> 0:37:19.950 Thing, we were like, bitch, he's just high as shit. 0:37:20.010 --> 0:37:21.130 Like, let him chill. 0:37:21.210 --> 0:37:22.410 Let him chill. 0:37:23.190 --> 0:37:26.570 But, when we got back, Josie and I were taking 0:37:26.650 --> 0:37:30.550 my bags out of his car, and I, like, look 0:37:30.850 --> 0:37:32.730 up while Josie's getting one of the bags out of 0:37:32.770 --> 0:37:36.259 the car, and the neighbor, like, I don't know if 0:37:36.280 --> 0:37:39.040 it's their son or whatever the fuck, like, he's big, 0:37:39.100 --> 0:37:42.969 he's grown, and he was Sitting out the window just, like, 0:37:43.170 --> 0:37:45.489 staring at Josie and I. So I looked up and 0:37:45.510 --> 0:37:48.180 I immediately started cracking up, dying laughing. 0:37:48.200 --> 0:37:52.200 I was like, oh, hell no, there's a peeping Tom. 0:37:52.420 --> 0:37:57.279 Dude, because that was the energy. He was, like, staring, like, so, like, intensely. Yeah, 0:37:57.480 --> 0:38:00.020 he was, like, out the window, like, what the fuck? 0:38:00.820 --> 0:38:04.420 And his fuck-ass dog that barks at everything that happens 0:38:04.500 --> 0:38:05.560 on the street was also there. 0:38:06.660 --> 0:38:08.020 Dead silent which made. 0:38:07.900 --> 0:38:09.880 It creepier take a picture it'll last. 0:38:09.700 --> 0:38:14.020 Longer um and then because i yelled peeping tom and 0:38:14.180 --> 0:38:17.259 he walked away and then josie went down to park 0:38:17.280 --> 0:38:20.200 his car in the driveway because if we don't get all. 0:38:20.080 --> 0:38:21.719 Of our cars off of the street our neighbors get 0:38:21.760 --> 0:38:22.460 our cars. 0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:26.069 Towed we kind of do. 0:38:28.510 --> 0:38:30.489 I mean, we suck because, what, we won't go and 0:38:30.510 --> 0:38:33.089 get a fucking permit? Bitch, you know I live here. 0:38:33.130 --> 0:38:34.230 You know that's my car. 0:38:34.489 --> 0:38:34.930 I did. 0:38:34.950 --> 0:38:36.509 You know I live here. You know that's my car. 0:38:36.610 --> 0:38:39.660 I did do something really naughty when I got home yesterday. 0:38:40.140 --> 0:38:43.239 I saw the parking meter, and under my breath, I 0:38:43.260 --> 0:38:45.980 was just, like, muttering. Or the parking attendant, and under 0:38:46.020 --> 0:38:48.060 my breath, I was just, like, muttering, like, I fucking 0:38:48.100 --> 0:38:49.020 hate you, motherfucker. 0:38:49.340 --> 0:38:49.680 Oh, no. 0:38:49.760 --> 0:38:51.380 People who are parking. 0:38:51.090 --> 0:38:53.649 Attendants, like, who give tickets, you suck. 0:38:53.710 --> 0:38:55.370 You're a bad person. You're a bad fucking person. 0:38:55.390 --> 0:38:55.589 I'm sorry. 0:38:55.610 --> 0:38:57.049 You're a bad person, and I know you have to 0:38:57.090 --> 0:38:59.130 pay your bills, but, like, Get a different job. Go 0:38:59.150 --> 0:39:02.029 strip copper wire. Like, go steal copper challenge. Because you are. 0:39:02.430 --> 0:39:04.370 Quite literally, your job is ruining people's day. 0:39:04.450 --> 0:39:06.860 I would rather you break into my home and steal 0:39:06.890 --> 0:39:08.200 my items than give me parking tickets. 0:39:08.219 --> 0:39:11.020 Yeah, I'd rather you, like, me leave the door unlocked 0:39:11.080 --> 0:39:12.660 and you go in my car and take anything of 0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:13.200 your liking. 0:39:13.400 --> 0:39:14.140 Mm-hmm. For real. 0:39:14.160 --> 0:39:15.340 Like, bitch, fuck it, take a wire. 0:39:15.500 --> 0:39:17.279 Take a... Fuck it, take my sunglasses. 0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:17.960 Yeah. 0:39:18.000 --> 0:39:20.700 Take the Cadillac converter, bitch. 0:39:21.580 --> 0:39:26.299 Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Anyway, when Josie Wesego put his 0:39:26.340 --> 0:39:29.359 car in the driveway... I was waiting at the front 0:39:29.410 --> 0:39:32.489 door because I didn't have a key and I was 0:39:32.570 --> 0:39:33.770 ringing the doorbell. 0:39:33.790 --> 0:39:35.890 Wait, but we're having a key right now. 0:39:36.830 --> 0:39:38.680 And I turned around and the neighbor was back to 0:39:38.719 --> 0:39:41.140 the window looking. So then I started screaming and I 0:39:41.200 --> 0:39:44.820 was like, no! So I was just, I was really 0:39:44.840 --> 0:39:47.400 in the heat at the moment because I felt like 0:39:47.440 --> 0:39:48.800 we were being stalked. 0:39:48.960 --> 0:39:49.859 In the heat of the summer. 0:39:50.719 --> 0:39:53.560 Are so different from the rest. 0:39:54.520 --> 0:39:58.600 The thing about living in a slightly nicer area is 0:39:58.700 --> 0:40:05.400 like nobody minds their fucking business. Because they're rich and 0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:07.570 they're bored as shit and they're in their house all day. 0:40:07.580 --> 0:40:10.140 But also I realize they're not rich. These are like 0:40:10.340 --> 0:40:14.370 fourth generation homes that were passed down to them. These 0:40:14.570 --> 0:40:15.950 are squatters. They're squatters. 0:40:16.450 --> 0:40:18.230 And they just like have money and they're just like 0:40:18.890 --> 0:40:20.910 they don't work like they're bored as shit so of 0:40:20.950 --> 0:40:23.109 course they don't mind their fucking business like there will 0:40:23.150 --> 0:40:26.709 be food dropped off at our door like someone ordered 0:40:26.750 --> 0:40:29.930 something and there's a guy walking by the open window 0:40:30.530 --> 0:40:33.950 who's like hey there's food at your door I know 0:40:34.070 --> 0:40:36.620 mind your fucking business literally what. 0:40:36.580 --> 0:40:39.620 And like remember when that person like saw us tanning 0:40:39.640 --> 0:40:41.560 in the front yard and was like yeah like we 0:40:41.600 --> 0:40:44.859 didn't realize like that house someone moved in until we 0:40:44.920 --> 0:40:46.880 saw like postmates on the doorstep and i'm like why 0:40:46.900 --> 0:40:48.640 are y'all so like observant like. 0:40:48.620 --> 0:40:52.100 I know because like like where y'all live before like 0:40:52.340 --> 0:40:54.920 where i live it's like nobody fucking who has the 0:40:54.960 --> 0:40:57.500 time yeah to be like paying attention to shit like 0:40:57.520 --> 0:40:59.640 that i'm like keep your fucking head down mind your 0:40:59.660 --> 0:41:02.040 business you have a house a whole ass house like 0:41:02.580 --> 0:41:04.779 you have enough shit to go inside why are you 0:41:04.840 --> 0:41:08.610 like out here staring at shit like I know, it literally. 0:41:08.290 --> 0:41:10.089 Is because they just have all the time to dig 0:41:10.130 --> 0:41:14.750 in their butt and, like, go on Facebook reels and, like, watch, like, 0:41:14.830 --> 0:41:19.290 weird propaganda, like, and comment, like, about how they don't 0:41:19.330 --> 0:41:21.779 like Mom Donnie, even though they don't live in New York. 0:41:22.030 --> 0:41:25.140 Mom Donnie and James Charles got married, which is insane. Yes, 0:41:25.540 --> 0:41:28.600 it's James Mom Donnie now. He left, um, Zoran left 0:41:28.640 --> 0:41:29.160 his wife. 0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:31.439 That's so, wait, so she's on the market, though? 0:41:32.600 --> 0:41:34.899 Um, no, she's, she passed away. 0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:37.440 No. Yeah. Ooh. 0:41:37.940 --> 0:41:40.040 It was such gnarly. Like, they broke up. 0:41:40.060 --> 0:41:41.580 They got a divorce. And then she fell. She died 0:41:41.640 --> 0:41:42.180 of a broken heart? 0:41:42.900 --> 0:41:46.210 Well, no, no, no. She fell. She fell down the stairs. 0:41:46.230 --> 0:41:48.310 Wait, I'm still gagged by James Charles and M. Donnie. 0:41:48.969 --> 0:41:55.890 Dude, Nextdoor, the app, it is so fun. I be 0:41:55.930 --> 0:41:58.660 scrolling on there, and there's, like, a few people I found, 0:41:58.700 --> 0:42:00.839 and I kind of keep up with them, and they 0:42:00.880 --> 0:42:01.859 just ask for shit. 0:42:02.140 --> 0:42:02.339 Yeah. 0:42:02.360 --> 0:42:05.240 They're just like, yo, I really need, like, a fan. 0:42:06.310 --> 0:42:08.950 and like some silverware and like some shit I love 0:42:08.989 --> 0:42:11.450 that and there's this one lady though who does it 0:42:11.989 --> 0:42:14.370 and people have started to get pissed at her because 0:42:14.390 --> 0:42:16.410 they're like I saw a comment that was like do 0:42:16.469 --> 0:42:19.569 you not own anything like you cannot come here for 0:42:19.670 --> 0:42:21.649 everything you have to like get some of the stuff 0:42:21.690 --> 0:42:24.990 yourself like there were she was like some like sheets 0:42:25.010 --> 0:42:27.509 like something and I was like damn like some of 0:42:27.530 --> 0:42:30.330 this shit you would want to buy yourself and I 0:42:30.350 --> 0:42:34.660 get being broke but like damn that's another level yeah 0:42:34.719 --> 0:42:37.259 really like happening once and being like damn i got 0:42:37.280 --> 0:42:39.800 some free shit i should just use this for everything yeah. 0:42:39.680 --> 0:42:41.480 Because it makes sense it's like the idea of like 0:42:41.560 --> 0:42:44.120 leaving stuff on the corner like you don't leave stuff 0:42:44.160 --> 0:42:46.460 on the corner like for it to get picked up 0:42:46.500 --> 0:42:49.800 by trash people because that's like not going to happen 0:42:50.570 --> 0:42:53.970 um you leave it there because it's like for sure somebody. 0:42:53.590 --> 0:42:56.750 Out there needs like a chair or like i left a. 0:42:56.630 --> 0:42:58.989 Suitcase out and it took a few days for it 0:42:59.030 --> 0:43:01.720 to get taken We left. 0:43:01.050 --> 0:43:03.490 A TV on the front doorstep that I think people 0:43:03.530 --> 0:43:05.569 just assumed was broken and it was out there for 0:43:05.610 --> 0:43:07.089 like weeks. Do you remember that? 0:43:07.210 --> 0:43:07.630 Yeah. 0:43:07.650 --> 0:43:10.690 I was like, y'all missed the lottery. Like y'all could 0:43:10.710 --> 0:43:11.510 have had a free TV. 0:43:11.610 --> 0:43:12.890 I still have y'all's old TV. 0:43:14.020 --> 0:43:15.219 My sister has our other. 0:43:15.239 --> 0:43:17.120 She still has the post-it notes on it. 0:43:17.140 --> 0:43:18.140 From the scavenger hunt? 0:43:18.160 --> 0:43:18.259 Yeah. 0:43:18.520 --> 0:43:18.880 That's cute. 0:43:18.920 --> 0:43:20.140 I never took them off. 0:43:20.260 --> 0:43:22.250 Well, speaking of next door, I. 0:43:23.969 --> 0:43:26.750 Am so masculine and i fixed our ring camera like 0:43:26.810 --> 0:43:28.980 no big deal like i got it connected to my 0:43:29.020 --> 0:43:30.240 phone like the. 0:43:30.120 --> 0:43:33.480 Thing is he keeps saying this but like fixing means 0:43:33.739 --> 0:43:36.180 unscrewing it scanning a qr code and. 0:43:36.180 --> 0:43:38.540 No there was no qr code on it i had 0:43:38.580 --> 0:43:40.569 to do some other type in a code no there 0:43:40.590 --> 0:43:42.370 was no code there was no qr code. 0:43:42.110 --> 0:43:47.530 Like a bluetooth thing yes work but it is working 0:43:47.610 --> 0:43:51.030 so maybe instead of Berating me, you could say, thank you. 0:43:51.110 --> 0:43:52.210 Who named it Bluetooth? 0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:53.200 Huh? 0:43:53.390 --> 0:43:54.460 Who named it Bluetooth? 0:43:56.160 --> 0:43:57.060 Uh, Blue Tiger Club. 0:43:57.960 --> 0:43:59.800 Oh, the girl who first had Blue Waffle. 0:44:00.460 --> 0:44:02.040 No, I'm like, bitch, who had a Bluetooth? 0:44:02.080 --> 0:44:03.240 Is Bluetooth named after Blue Waffle? 0:44:03.320 --> 0:44:03.490 Yeah. 0:44:03.530 --> 0:44:04.629 Like, you're telling me you had a. 0:44:04.710 --> 0:44:06.630 Blue Waffle gave birth to Bluetooth. 0:44:06.730 --> 0:44:08.730 You had a tooth that was blue. And you were like, 0:44:08.750 --> 0:44:09.370 you know what, fuck it. 0:44:09.370 --> 0:44:10.250 Y'all remember that movie, Teeth? 0:44:10.270 --> 0:44:11.250 My hack. 0:44:11.270 --> 0:44:15.759 Y'all remember that movie, Teeth? What? Y'all remember that movie, Teeth? 0:44:16.600 --> 0:44:17.200 Show me your teeth. 0:44:17.219 --> 0:44:19.239 The one where the vag has, like, teeth? Yeah, like, 0:44:19.380 --> 0:44:20.480 the vagina has teeth. 0:44:20.820 --> 0:44:21.200 Really? 0:44:21.219 --> 0:44:21.719 Yeah. 0:44:22.670 --> 0:44:23.530 It was so crazy. 0:44:23.670 --> 0:44:23.930 Wow. 0:44:23.989 --> 0:44:26.330 But why did it feel good, though? Why did it 0:44:26.370 --> 0:44:27.390 feel good, though? 0:44:27.550 --> 0:44:29.630 Oh, yeah, we're doing shows. Josiah, do you want to? 0:44:31.550 --> 0:44:33.029 Yes, but I'm going to have to be swinging from, like, 0:44:33.050 --> 0:44:33.430 a wire. 0:44:33.450 --> 0:44:34.730 Okay, we'll make that. 0:44:34.750 --> 0:44:36.510 I don't know if we have the budget for that, baby. 0:44:36.930 --> 0:44:39.529 We'll figure it out. Go crowdfund. There's going to be 0:44:39.550 --> 0:44:41.250 a GoFundMe for the wire. 0:44:41.270 --> 0:44:44.310 A GoFundMe for Josiah's wire. But I was on the 0:44:44.390 --> 0:44:46.430 Ring app because I fixed the Ring camera and I 0:44:46.469 --> 0:44:50.490 can like have, I just like opened it behind a girl. 0:44:50.610 --> 0:44:55.730 But someone's grandma in our neighborhood got abducted and got 0:44:55.830 --> 0:44:58.890 Datura blown in her face. And she drained her bank 0:44:58.910 --> 0:45:01.610 accounts and then brought the captors to her home and 0:45:01.630 --> 0:45:06.360 they stole all of her jewelry and left her confused. 0:45:06.860 --> 0:45:08.839 Wait, they blew shit in her face? 0:45:08.880 --> 0:45:11.140 Yes, they blew to Tura. 0:45:11.200 --> 0:45:14.460 The devil's breath shit from those flowers. 0:45:14.500 --> 0:45:15.320 They grow here. 0:45:15.400 --> 0:45:17.580 We got to get some of that shit. No, for real. 0:45:17.960 --> 0:45:20.719 On our old street, there was a plant of that. 0:45:20.760 --> 0:45:21.540 We should get some of that. 0:45:21.560 --> 0:45:22.960 And every time I would go on a walk, I 0:45:22.980 --> 0:45:24.299 was like, damn, I literally could just. 0:45:24.320 --> 0:45:24.959 I want to get high. 0:45:24.980 --> 0:45:25.359 Bitch, I know. 0:45:25.380 --> 0:45:25.600 I'm like. 0:45:27.930 --> 0:45:31.810 I want to put fucking what's an application or a 0:45:31.830 --> 0:45:33.860 streaming platform that doesn't stop because Netflix does. 0:45:33.880 --> 0:45:36.280 Like Hulu. Hulu will never let a show stop. 0:45:36.300 --> 0:45:38.140 Bitch, I'm about to put some show on on Hulu 0:45:38.480 --> 0:45:42.600 and give myself devil's breath and just like. 0:45:42.780 --> 0:45:44.680 Well, we should start doing blowing to each other. 0:45:45.260 --> 0:45:45.540 Yeah. 0:45:46.060 --> 0:45:47.760 Like getting it and just randomly blowing. 0:45:47.800 --> 0:45:49.569 But then the last person to blow, what if they 0:45:49.590 --> 0:45:51.950 just have to blow it on themselves? Or like, I 0:45:51.989 --> 0:45:52.870 guess you just. 0:45:53.310 --> 0:45:54.810 Or what if we did it all at the same time? 0:45:56.230 --> 0:45:56.850 Like twitches. 0:45:57.130 --> 0:46:00.920 Like a triangle. But yeah, she got abducted. That is 0:46:00.940 --> 0:46:02.480 fucked up. And I've been keeping up with it on 0:46:02.500 --> 0:46:04.660 the Ring app. And it's like the most viral post. 0:46:04.739 --> 0:46:05.799 It has like 12 likes and nine comments. 0:46:05.860 --> 0:46:06.940 And it's an old lady? 0:46:07.320 --> 0:46:09.569 Yeah, it was an old lady. And they find, they like. 0:46:09.590 --> 0:46:11.410 Dude, poor lady. I know. 0:46:11.489 --> 0:46:11.870 It sucks. 0:46:11.989 --> 0:46:13.089 It's like it's. 0:46:13.210 --> 0:46:16.050 Not funny, but like, jeez. Like what? 0:46:16.070 --> 0:46:17.790 Like that's who they picked. They were like, that one. 0:46:18.140 --> 0:46:19.460 Go blow the shit in her face and beat the 0:46:19.480 --> 0:46:20.120 fuck out of her. 0:46:20.400 --> 0:46:25.399 I'm pretty sure seniors and elderly women are targeted, like. 0:46:25.420 --> 0:46:25.920 Of course, the most. 0:46:25.940 --> 0:46:27.600 I was going to say, how they got her was 0:46:27.700 --> 0:46:30.860 they went up to her and asked her for directions. 0:46:31.100 --> 0:46:33.739 And then they blew it in her face. And then she, like, has, like, 0:46:34.340 --> 0:46:37.160 moments of being in the back of a car, telling 0:46:37.200 --> 0:46:41.540 him where she lived. And then she, like, woke up, like... 0:46:41.300 --> 0:46:44.219 Fully fine, by the way, but the family has, like, started, like, 0:46:44.280 --> 0:46:46.840 looking at cameras, and they have, like, a screenshot of 0:46:46.860 --> 0:46:49.100 the girl, and I'm not even lying. She looks just 0:46:49.160 --> 0:46:51.350 like you and you. I'm going to see if I 0:46:51.350 --> 0:46:52.110 can find it. 0:46:52.170 --> 0:46:53.590 The one who got kidnapped? 0:46:53.690 --> 0:46:55.750 No, the kidnappers, one of the kidnappers. 0:46:55.770 --> 0:46:56.730 Bitch, and I don't have that. 0:46:56.790 --> 0:46:58.690 One of them was a girl, one of the kidnappers? 0:46:58.890 --> 0:46:59.610 They were both girls. 0:47:00.110 --> 0:47:01.910 Bitch, then whatever. 0:47:02.160 --> 0:47:03.120 No, like, it's fierce. 0:47:03.180 --> 0:47:06.989 Let it slide. Mm-hmm. It's okay. It's okay. Or it's 0:47:07.030 --> 0:47:07.780 not okay. 0:47:07.860 --> 0:47:10.060 No, but they were just probably, like, I'm like, it's 0:47:10.140 --> 0:47:13.880 more likely that they were used to, like, run that, like, 0:47:14.480 --> 0:47:16.620 whole setup of, like, getting the lady. 0:47:17.280 --> 0:47:18.480 Are they in jail? 0:47:18.719 --> 0:47:20.850 No, they haven't found her yet. And the cops showed 0:47:20.910 --> 0:47:24.470 up 45 minutes later and did nothing. Oh, that's good. 0:47:24.989 --> 0:47:26.190 Do you think you're ever going to go to jail? 0:47:27.450 --> 0:47:27.730 No. 0:47:28.370 --> 0:47:29.810 If you were to go to jail, what would the 0:47:29.850 --> 0:47:30.549 reason be, though? 0:47:31.200 --> 0:47:34.509 Someone putting a bag of drugs in my backpack? So 0:47:34.530 --> 0:47:36.950 you'd be framed? Yeah. I swear to God I would 0:47:36.969 --> 0:47:37.410 be framed. 0:47:37.950 --> 0:47:40.569 Why would you go to jail? Like what would be 0:47:40.590 --> 0:47:43.779 the most likely reason you think? Like bringing weed to 0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:45.640 a foreign country by accident? Yeah, probably. 0:47:45.739 --> 0:47:47.819 Yeah. India's going to like go to Germany one day 0:47:47.880 --> 0:47:49.950 and they're going to, or Russia one day and they're 0:47:49.989 --> 0:47:50.190 going to. 0:47:50.219 --> 0:47:50.709 Russia. 0:47:50.930 --> 0:47:51.870 That'll probably be taxes. 0:47:52.310 --> 0:47:52.830 Russia. 0:47:52.870 --> 0:47:53.009 Yeah. 0:47:53.600 --> 0:47:54.280 I just forget. 0:47:54.300 --> 0:47:54.880 I forget. 0:47:54.900 --> 0:47:55.980 I forgot about it. 0:47:55.980 --> 0:47:56.060 Yeah. 0:47:56.080 --> 0:47:57.239 I'm going to be framed. 0:47:58.700 --> 0:48:00.040 Who the fuck is going to frame you? 0:48:00.140 --> 0:48:00.400 Me. 0:48:00.760 --> 0:48:03.080 Yeah. Well, no, I guess the thing is it's going 0:48:03.100 --> 0:48:05.160 to be someone I don't know. I've always imagined it 0:48:05.219 --> 0:48:08.299 happening in like high school, like a school hallway, like 0:48:08.360 --> 0:48:10.410 some like drug dogs come one day and then they 0:48:10.430 --> 0:48:12.529 just like flip the weed into my backpack and I'm 0:48:12.610 --> 0:48:14.610 right out of camera view and then I get in 0:48:14.630 --> 0:48:17.710 trouble for it. That's where it stems from. But in 0:48:17.930 --> 0:48:21.590 my adult life, like At a club and someone puts 0:48:21.690 --> 0:48:24.200 like a vial of GHB in my pocket or something. 0:48:24.219 --> 0:48:29.460 Yeah. GHB, G and teen, G and Tina. 0:48:29.500 --> 0:48:31.160 So you can't get to the good time and you 0:48:31.180 --> 0:48:31.620 make it. 0:48:31.920 --> 0:48:33.330 Well, no, I get arrested for it. 0:48:33.739 --> 0:48:35.080 Oh, like they find you with a vial. 0:48:35.200 --> 0:48:35.460 Yeah. 0:48:35.680 --> 0:48:37.000 But you make friends and contacts. 0:48:37.380 --> 0:48:40.500 I will never touch GHB in my life. That is 0:48:40.540 --> 0:48:42.520 demonic shit. That is a sin. 0:48:43.440 --> 0:48:47.200 Well, you won't touch it, but would you drink it? No, girl. 0:48:47.219 --> 0:48:49.670 Oh. Oh, my God. Wait, no. 0:48:50.710 --> 0:48:53.570 I saw massage chairs at, you know, the, like, rest 0:48:53.610 --> 0:48:55.940 stops when you're on, like, road trips and stuff? 0:48:56.620 --> 0:49:01.150 At a Dunkin' Donuts. Like, it was closed off to the... 0:49:01.180 --> 0:49:03.100 I've been on a Dunkin' Donuts kick. Like, I don't 0:49:03.120 --> 0:49:03.760 know what's happening. 0:49:03.820 --> 0:49:04.560 Yuck. 0:49:05.120 --> 0:49:08.600 But there was a corner for the Dunkin' Donuts. There 0:49:08.620 --> 0:49:11.560 was a Burger King and, like, some other establishment. And 0:49:11.940 --> 0:49:15.450 the massage chairs were not for mixed company bibs. It 0:49:15.510 --> 0:49:16.790 was for the Dunkin' Donuts. 0:49:16.830 --> 0:49:17.589 They had it, like. 0:49:18.450 --> 0:49:20.900 It was under two of their big portraits. and they 0:49:20.920 --> 0:49:23.819 had it like kind of like guarded off so that 0:49:23.900 --> 0:49:26.770 no randoms could have the massage chairs unless you have 0:49:26.790 --> 0:49:27.930 a dunkin donuts. 0:49:27.610 --> 0:49:31.089 Order i'm talking also i meant like the ones where 0:49:31.130 --> 0:49:34.500 it's like a human massaging you Like you're laying out 0:49:34.520 --> 0:49:36.840 on the table in the middle of an airport. 0:49:36.900 --> 0:49:38.580 In the middle of the airport is crazy. If it's 0:49:38.620 --> 0:49:40.680 a kiosk where it's like inside. 0:49:40.760 --> 0:49:43.980 Exactly. I'm like in the middle of the airport. I'm like, oh, 0:49:44.080 --> 0:49:46.540 you kind of have a voyeurism kink. You like want 0:49:46.560 --> 0:49:47.280 to be watched. 0:49:47.300 --> 0:49:49.360 They have them at the mall, too, or it's in 0:49:49.380 --> 0:49:51.360 the middle of the mall. How could you be at peace? 0:49:51.540 --> 0:49:53.989 I've only had a man once and he couldn't stop 0:49:54.050 --> 0:49:56.910 breathing all heavy and he couldn't catch his breath for 0:49:56.950 --> 0:50:01.290 a whole massage. And he also was talking on the phone. 0:50:01.620 --> 0:50:03.270 Oh my God, the only time, one of the only 0:50:03.330 --> 0:50:06.710 times I've had a male masseuse was In Italy for 0:50:06.730 --> 0:50:09.629 the Reformation trip, they did hook us up with massages, 0:50:09.690 --> 0:50:10.690 which was so lit. 0:50:10.930 --> 0:50:13.330 But it was a man and a woman. And they 0:50:13.370 --> 0:50:14.910 were doing it two at a time. And Rain and 0:50:15.150 --> 0:50:17.070 I were doing it at the same time. And Rain 0:50:17.110 --> 0:50:20.219 does not like massages. So I forfeited the woman. And 0:50:20.239 --> 0:50:21.719 I was like, you can take the woman. I'll let 0:50:21.760 --> 0:50:25.160 the man give my massage. Nothing crazy happened. It was 0:50:25.200 --> 0:50:26.420 a lit ass massage. 0:50:26.460 --> 0:50:29.080 But the craziest thing that, or I can't say nothing 0:50:29.100 --> 0:50:31.520 crazy happened because something insane happened. 0:50:31.980 --> 0:50:32.920 We were lying. 0:50:33.380 --> 0:50:35.040 Like there was like a divider between us and we're 0:50:35.060 --> 0:50:37.670 lying there in silence, obviously just both getting our massages 0:50:38.090 --> 0:50:40.410 and they have music playing. And it's like some weird 0:50:40.450 --> 0:50:45.370 Pandora English channel, but like four Italians or something. And 0:50:45.610 --> 0:50:49.040 a cover of TLC, an acoustic cover done by a 0:50:49.080 --> 0:50:51.480 man and a woman started playing. 0:50:51.840 --> 0:50:53.080 And then what song? 0:50:54.180 --> 0:50:55.160 Uh, say my name. 0:50:56.180 --> 0:50:56.680 Yeah. Destiny child. 0:50:56.820 --> 0:51:04.860 Um, A Destiny's Child song starts playing. It's acoustic. And 0:51:04.890 --> 0:51:09.660 it's like, say my name. Say my name. Ew. It's 0:51:09.680 --> 0:51:13.480 like the guitar. It was like an acoustic version of it. 0:51:13.739 --> 0:51:17.130 And a man was doing it with her. And Rain 0:51:17.170 --> 0:51:19.290 started kind of like she chuckled under her breath. And 0:51:19.330 --> 0:51:23.419 then I started laughing so fucking hard because I was like, 0:51:23.440 --> 0:51:25.440 I knew she was thinking the same thing I was, 0:51:25.500 --> 0:51:27.780 which was like, what the fuck is this song? 0:51:28.140 --> 0:51:30.680 And we both started dying laughing. And mind you, we 0:51:30.719 --> 0:51:33.819 were in Italy. So the masseuses had no idea why. 0:51:33.860 --> 0:51:37.050 Like we couldn't explain to them why we were laughing. 0:51:37.660 --> 0:51:39.770 And we couldn't stop laughing for like the whole time 0:51:39.810 --> 0:51:42.910 it was playing because it was like so off-putting. And 0:51:42.930 --> 0:51:45.990 then it went back to, like, normal spa music. So 0:51:46.050 --> 0:51:47.210 it felt like a sign. 0:51:47.250 --> 0:51:52.330 The spa music they'd be using is always so funny. Like, just, like, 0:51:52.370 --> 0:51:55.670 the most tranquil. Like, their idea of, like, whatever, like, 0:51:55.710 --> 0:51:57.070 tranquility would be. 0:51:57.370 --> 0:51:58.790 Kind of gets me. It gets me. 0:51:58.969 --> 0:52:01.259 I'd be falling asleep. Yeah. 0:52:01.900 --> 0:52:03.460 I don't get a massage without falling asleep. 0:52:03.739 --> 0:52:05.900 One time me and Drew got a massage in Japan. 0:52:05.920 --> 0:52:09.440 And we had to get naked. and they give us 0:52:09.480 --> 0:52:11.560 these little disposable underwears. 0:52:11.239 --> 0:52:12.940 Oh yeah that's i went with do you get. 0:52:12.820 --> 0:52:15.799 Butt naked when you get a massage or do you 0:52:15.820 --> 0:52:17.000 leave your underwears on it. 0:52:16.960 --> 0:52:20.020 Depends they they have to tell you korean massages for 0:52:20.040 --> 0:52:23.120 the most part where. 0:52:22.260 --> 0:52:23.270 I go butt naked um. 0:52:25.350 --> 0:52:28.589 But thai but yeah there are like other spots who 0:52:28.610 --> 0:52:30.310 will just be like i'll leave your underwear on and 0:52:30.330 --> 0:52:32.730 they'll like tuck a napkin and like kind of. 0:52:32.710 --> 0:52:34.190 Dirty cracks yeah i'm not gonna say who it is 0:52:34.210 --> 0:52:36.660 but we know her and she like no matter where 0:52:36.680 --> 0:52:39.080 she is she's popping those underwear off and she'd butt 0:52:39.280 --> 0:52:41.540 naked and i was like dude why are you doing 0:52:41.560 --> 0:52:42.040 that to them. 0:52:41.940 --> 0:52:42.839 Like what. 0:52:57.060 --> 0:52:58.500 Like, maybe they didn't want that. 0:52:58.640 --> 0:53:01.700 I know this gay couple that one of them got 0:53:01.739 --> 0:53:05.960 the other one that I'm friends with a certificate to 0:53:05.980 --> 0:53:09.920 a really, really nice massage. Like, the nicest massage ever. 0:53:12.090 --> 0:53:14.689 And for his birthday. And he goes to the massage. 0:53:16.270 --> 0:53:21.799 And at the end of the massage... the male masseuse 0:53:22.239 --> 0:53:25.750 starts jerking him off, like literally jerking him off. Um, 0:53:26.210 --> 0:53:28.549 and the guy is like, Oh, I wonder, I guess 0:53:28.590 --> 0:53:31.770 my boyfriend like set this up. Like, I guess he's 0:53:31.830 --> 0:53:36.710 okay with this. Um, and he gets a happy ending. 0:53:36.790 --> 0:53:40.130 He gets the happy ending. He climaxes, he goes home 0:53:40.590 --> 0:53:42.790 and he's like, you're so funny for that. Like it 0:53:42.830 --> 0:53:44.800 caught me so off guard, but like, thank you. I 0:53:44.820 --> 0:53:46.950 didn't know. Like that was like something you were capable of. 0:53:46.960 --> 0:53:48.860 And he's like, what are you talking about? And he 0:53:48.880 --> 0:53:52.660 was like, oh, like the happy ending you requested at 0:53:52.680 --> 0:53:57.070 the end of the massage. And he's like, what? He's like, yeah, 0:53:57.110 --> 0:53:59.310 like you said to give me a happy ending. And 0:53:59.330 --> 0:54:02.669 they did. And I took it. I did it. And 0:54:02.989 --> 0:54:07.070 then the boy that got the certificate like was so mad. 0:54:07.150 --> 0:54:09.050 But like at that point, I'm just like, you know what? 0:54:09.130 --> 0:54:09.250 Like. 0:54:09.969 --> 0:54:11.700 Bitch, I just paid for you to cheat on me. 0:54:11.739 --> 0:54:12.360 Yeah, literally. 0:54:12.380 --> 0:54:14.420 Like, what? I just paid to play. 0:54:14.680 --> 0:54:15.399 Literally. 0:54:15.500 --> 0:54:16.739 Have you ever been offered that? 0:54:17.120 --> 0:54:17.359 No. 0:54:17.380 --> 0:54:17.860 In a massage? 0:54:17.880 --> 0:54:18.020 No. 0:54:18.060 --> 0:54:20.140 I don't put that energy into the work. I never 0:54:20.160 --> 0:54:22.839 have either. I don't put the energy out either. But 0:54:23.080 --> 0:54:24.080 I do wonder sometimes. 0:54:24.239 --> 0:54:25.259 Maybe look at you. 0:54:25.440 --> 0:54:28.440 Yeah, I'm like, is it me? Am I maybe a 0:54:28.500 --> 0:54:32.880 little not desirable? Dude, one time this lady, she was 0:54:32.920 --> 0:54:35.110 giving me a massage and she felt my back and 0:54:35.140 --> 0:54:38.030 she just said, gave a little chuckle and said, bones. 0:54:40.320 --> 0:54:42.410 Because like she didn't speak like a ton of English. 0:54:43.030 --> 0:54:44.529 But I was like, okay. 0:54:44.550 --> 0:54:45.790 But she knew one word. 0:54:45.850 --> 0:54:46.210 Bones. 0:54:46.230 --> 0:54:48.230 But yeah, if I were looking at me in a massage, 0:54:48.270 --> 0:54:48.529 I'd be like. 0:54:48.550 --> 0:54:50.850 That was my nickname from my goddad growing up. He 0:54:50.870 --> 0:54:51.610 would call me Bones. 0:54:52.110 --> 0:54:52.890 Buggers and Bones. 0:54:52.930 --> 0:54:53.810 Like lazy bones? 0:54:54.150 --> 0:54:56.530 No, Bones because I was like scrawny. 0:54:57.469 --> 0:54:58.850 Buggers and Bones. 0:54:58.910 --> 0:54:59.730 Yeah. 0:54:59.930 --> 0:55:03.210 Well, I love the TikTok channel. Two guys in some land. 0:55:03.650 --> 0:55:04.969 Just had to shout them out. 0:55:05.370 --> 0:55:06.190 TikTok channel? 0:55:06.670 --> 0:55:09.290 Yeah. Profile? 0:55:11.450 --> 0:55:12.910 Who's the two guys in Bones? 0:55:12.930 --> 0:55:15.969 Two guys in some land. They're two gay guys that 0:55:16.030 --> 0:55:17.810 like move to like the middle of nowhere. 0:55:17.830 --> 0:55:18.650 I know who you're talking about. 0:55:18.670 --> 0:55:20.509 I am obsessed with them and they own a bunch 0:55:20.550 --> 0:55:23.850 of chickens and birds and shit. Like, oh, that's the dream. 0:55:24.290 --> 0:55:26.670 I'm interested in them as well. 0:55:26.710 --> 0:55:27.850 Is that your media of the week? 0:55:29.410 --> 0:55:31.150 My media of the week is the prank call that 0:55:31.190 --> 0:55:32.109 Josiah is about to do. 0:55:32.370 --> 0:55:34.910 Well, I'll clue you in on one that I've been 0:55:34.950 --> 0:55:40.089 doing recently. It's this sex toy shop that has doctor 0:55:40.140 --> 0:55:43.140 in the title. So I like calling them. Actually, you 0:55:43.160 --> 0:55:44.299 guys have been around for this before. 0:55:44.320 --> 0:55:44.540 Yeah, wait. 0:55:44.560 --> 0:55:45.379 Do you want to get in frame? 0:55:45.860 --> 0:55:46.600 Hi. 0:55:48.140 --> 0:55:52.359 I was just calling. Do you guys accept walk-ins? Yes. 0:55:52.420 --> 0:55:54.820 Hello? Hello? 0:55:55.739 --> 0:55:56.080 Yes. 0:55:56.420 --> 0:55:56.740 Hi. 0:55:57.100 --> 0:56:00.140 I was just calling to see if you guys take walk-ins. 0:56:01.860 --> 0:56:02.160 Yes. 0:56:02.340 --> 0:56:03.900 You're calling an adult store, right? 0:56:04.320 --> 0:56:07.640 Well, do you guys take Blue Shield? 0:56:09.280 --> 0:56:10.200 No, you're calling the wrong place. 0:56:13.170 --> 0:56:17.989 One more, one more. Well, yeah, there's another doctor one. 0:56:19.070 --> 0:56:19.890 It's a different store. 0:56:19.930 --> 0:56:22.070 So you're calling a sex store that has doctor in 0:56:22.110 --> 0:56:22.570 the title. 0:56:22.910 --> 0:56:23.149 Yes. 0:56:23.430 --> 0:56:23.710 Okay. 0:56:25.050 --> 0:56:27.050 Because I like asking them, do you take my insurance? 0:56:27.070 --> 0:56:28.930 And they say, this is not a doctor's office. And 0:56:28.950 --> 0:56:30.370 I say, well, on Yelp, it says you are a 0:56:30.390 --> 0:56:32.370 doctor's office. So you should probably go and check that out. 0:56:34.030 --> 0:56:35.870 I love calling this one bar or two and saying, 0:56:35.890 --> 0:56:39.430 do you have a mechanical bowl? And they get so angry. 0:56:39.790 --> 0:56:43.660 They called me back one time pretending to be the sheriff. Hi, 0:56:43.739 --> 0:56:45.940 I was just calling to see, um, or how are 0:56:45.960 --> 0:56:46.239 you doing? 0:56:46.580 --> 0:56:46.860 Sorry. 0:56:46.880 --> 0:56:48.400 Good, good, good. It's okay. 0:56:49.780 --> 0:56:52.090 Okay, um, do you guys take walk-ins there? 0:56:53.570 --> 0:56:54.330 What do you mean, walk-in? 0:56:55.050 --> 0:56:59.890 Like, are you accepting new patients? The what? New patients. 0:57:02.590 --> 0:57:05.770 Uh, are you trying to call the dentist or the doctor? 0:57:05.790 --> 0:57:07.089 Because this is not the doctor. 0:57:07.110 --> 0:57:13.150 This is the doctor, love. No, this is, uh... This 0:57:13.210 --> 0:57:13.790 isn't Dr. 0:57:13.830 --> 0:57:14.110 Love? 0:57:15.340 --> 0:57:17.980 It is Dr. Love, but it's not a doctor. It's 0:57:18.420 --> 0:57:19.479 an adult store. 0:57:19.520 --> 0:57:20.320 Do you take insurance? 0:57:20.720 --> 0:57:22.740 Okay, do y'all take Blue Shield? 0:57:24.500 --> 0:57:24.820 Anthem. 0:57:25.440 --> 0:57:25.960 What do you mean? 0:57:25.980 --> 0:57:29.010 Like Anthem, like Anthem Blue Cross insurance. 0:57:29.430 --> 0:57:32.950 Oh, we're not a doctor. This is a sex store. 0:57:33.430 --> 0:57:34.190 It's called Dr. 0:57:34.250 --> 0:57:38.790 Love. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. 0:57:38.810 --> 0:57:41.240 There is a doctor, but it's not here. 0:57:41.320 --> 0:57:42.570 It's down the street. 0:57:42.320 --> 0:57:42.860 Next to us. 0:57:43.300 --> 0:57:44.200 Is the doctor in? 0:57:45.880 --> 0:57:48.480 I don't know if he's in, but there is a 0:57:48.500 --> 0:57:50.240 doctor next to us. 0:57:50.500 --> 0:57:52.580 But we're not a doctor. Word. 0:57:52.820 --> 0:57:54.800 I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry. 0:57:54.820 --> 0:57:55.400 It's okay. 0:57:55.420 --> 0:57:56.820 Don't worry. What are you doing? 0:57:56.840 --> 0:57:58.400 Huh? 0:57:58.440 --> 0:57:59.760 What are you doing? 0:57:59.780 --> 0:58:02.300 Not damn here in the store. 0:58:03.510 --> 0:58:07.650 Same. So you sound fierce. You sound fierce, by the way. 0:58:07.750 --> 0:58:08.530 I love your vibe. 0:58:10.030 --> 0:58:10.730 I sound what? 0:58:10.930 --> 0:58:11.590 Like fierce. 0:58:13.110 --> 0:58:14.150 What do you mean by that? 0:58:14.530 --> 0:58:22.690 Like, like, so, like, just fierce. Like, you're just on fire. Like, brilliant. 0:58:23.410 --> 0:58:23.850 What did you say? 0:58:24.010 --> 0:58:24.590 Bratz dolls. 0:58:24.630 --> 0:58:25.230 Oh, okay, okay. 0:58:25.380 --> 0:58:26.380 Like a Bratz doll. 0:58:26.660 --> 0:58:29.020 Like, you're like, I love your vibe. 0:58:30.720 --> 0:58:31.160 Okay. 0:58:32.180 --> 0:58:34.500 A word? Okay. 0:58:34.780 --> 0:58:35.620 Thank you for calling. 0:58:36.220 --> 0:58:36.740 All right. 0:58:37.080 --> 0:58:37.500 Bye. 0:58:37.520 --> 0:58:37.590 Bye. 0:58:39.030 --> 0:58:42.090 She did not want to be friends with me. There's 0:58:42.120 --> 0:58:45.050 this one restaurant in my hometown that had like a 0:58:45.110 --> 0:58:48.070 cover or like a sign that had a baby on it. 0:58:48.310 --> 0:58:50.010 I was going to say that has pasta all over 0:58:50.030 --> 0:58:53.090 it and it's called Pasta Connection. Do not call them. 0:58:54.810 --> 0:58:57.370 I call them and I say, hey, this is the 0:58:57.410 --> 0:58:59.830 baby from the sign. And they're like, no, you're not 0:58:59.850 --> 0:59:01.770 the baby from the sign because the baby from the 0:59:01.810 --> 0:59:03.410 sign is the owner when he was a baby. And 0:59:03.450 --> 0:59:05.310 I'm like, that's me. I'm like, can I come in and. 0:59:05.230 --> 0:59:08.110 Get free food? Should I call Steve Lacey and say 0:59:08.130 --> 0:59:10.330 there's a baby on his roof? Like, sorry. 67 it? 0:59:10.970 --> 0:59:11.230 Yes. 0:59:11.390 --> 0:59:12.990 Okay. Oh my God. 0:59:13.010 --> 0:59:15.070 You know who has me blocked? I'll say that. I 0:59:15.090 --> 0:59:19.420 don't care. James Charles has me blocked on several phone numbers. 0:59:19.480 --> 0:59:20.920 He has me blocked on several numbers. 0:59:20.940 --> 0:59:22.340 Because every time he gets a new number, I get 0:59:22.380 --> 0:59:27.140 it from a certain somebody. And I, did you call 0:59:27.200 --> 0:59:29.800 him without caller ID? Or with caller ID? 0:59:31.220 --> 0:59:36.500 It's called him. Get off of that page. 0:59:36.520 --> 0:59:39.600 Get off that page. 0:59:39.840 --> 0:59:40.460 Okay, well. 0:59:40.520 --> 0:59:42.110 I want to do one more. I want to do 0:59:42.120 --> 0:59:44.690 the celebrity one where we call a celebrity number and 0:59:44.730 --> 0:59:46.270 tell them there's a baby on the roof. 0:59:47.450 --> 0:59:52.250 Anya texted me yesterday. She said, hey, Chud. Chud, bitch. Meanwhile, 0:59:52.790 --> 0:59:55.680 she was asking me to pick her up. Okay, because 0:59:55.740 --> 0:59:56.880 I landed on Sunday night. 0:59:56.960 --> 0:59:57.220 Okay. 1:00:00.860 --> 1:00:01.180 What? 1:00:01.220 --> 1:00:01.480 Who? 1:00:03.000 --> 1:00:10.100 All of my Grindr hookups. My media is medicine bottle 1:00:10.180 --> 1:00:14.580 red house painters and lies in the eyes of love part-time. 1:00:16.160 --> 1:00:18.550 Fuck, I was hoping you kept your phone open because 1:00:18.570 --> 1:00:20.590 I wanted to act like I was looking at mine 1:00:20.630 --> 1:00:21.930 and read some of yours. 1:00:21.710 --> 1:00:23.610 So you could be like, oh my god, those are 1:00:23.630 --> 1:00:28.490 songs I'm listening to. But not for me, Jackie Gleason. 1:00:28.510 --> 1:00:28.590 Nope. 1:00:30.860 --> 1:00:36.800 Blue Satin Henry Mancini and Coming Home Marshall Hayne. Ooh. Period. 1:00:37.200 --> 1:00:38.320 Kind of an old vibe. 1:00:38.900 --> 1:00:39.420 Yes. 1:00:39.860 --> 1:00:40.720 Old Hollywood. 1:00:41.240 --> 1:00:41.740 Yes. 1:00:41.760 --> 1:00:44.320 Yes. Mine is. 1:00:48.060 --> 1:00:49.940 Mine is actually Amber by Steve Lacey. 1:00:50.560 --> 1:00:51.140 Period. 1:00:51.420 --> 1:00:53.010 I heard that song for the first time in so 1:00:53.050 --> 1:00:55.530 long from Gemini, and I was like, whoa. 1:00:56.270 --> 1:00:56.970 Such a good album. 1:00:57.050 --> 1:01:01.990 He's so crazy. And Spanish Joint by D'Angelo. been re-listening 1:01:02.030 --> 1:01:02.490 to Voodoo. 1:01:04.140 --> 1:01:04.330 And 6-7! 1:01:34.790 --> 1:01:34.870 Bye.