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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Dakota, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay story Time hosts, and we've got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. But before that, we have a quick two

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Speaker 1: minute break from the sponsors that keep this show running.

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Speaker 1: I have a crush on my coworker and I want

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Speaker 1: to confess to his wife.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that.

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Speaker 3: I twenty seven female, would come here for this.

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Speaker 1: I have this coworker, twenty eight male, and I like him.

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Speaker 1: Why because he doesn't wear a ring at work and

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Speaker 1: I didn't know until I already liked it. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from user long Jumping Jelly eight four nine,

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Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay Storytime suvered it. I am Dakota,

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Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we are collectively here to

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Speaker 1: give good advice goofully, and we don't have all the

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Speaker 1: answers to life's problems. We just know what we would

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Speaker 1: do as a couple of meatballs. So let us know

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Speaker 1: what you would do in the comments. I've been at

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Speaker 1: this job about two years. I'm one of the newest

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Speaker 1: hires in my department. Most of the older hires knew

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Speaker 1: as much as a matter of fact. I'm guessing this

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Speaker 1: is the point of those dumb Christmas parties that seem

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Speaker 1: outdated and boring. It's to see if your coworkers bring wived.

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Speaker 1: I want to state now that I have serious issues

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Speaker 1: with cheating.

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Speaker 3: Huge.

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Speaker 1: No, no, that is the core of my issue. I

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Speaker 1: had been working closely with this guy for the last

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Speaker 1: two years and felt like we really connected. Andy flirted

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Speaker 1: with me, but he could just be friendly and I

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Speaker 1: was being delusional, no way to be sure, and thus

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Speaker 1: I started to develop feelings. I'd normally shoot my shot

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Speaker 1: around my crush, but I've been insecure about ten to

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Speaker 1: fifteen pounds of weight gains since the VID, so I've

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Speaker 1: been a little more reserved. Still flirting, but not as bold.

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Speaker 1: This man has a wife. I found out last week

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Speaker 1: that he had a wife.

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Speaker 3: How she brought him lunch?

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Speaker 1: Crazy? Simple, right, he forgot his lunch. I asked another

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Speaker 1: coworker and they said that was his wife. It's so

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Speaker 1: matter of factly, I've been flirty with this guy for

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Speaker 1: almost two years and no one said anything, which is

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Speaker 1: the point. I thought maybe him flirting back might have

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Speaker 1: been my delusion. I'm mad because I'd rather he be

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Speaker 1: standoffish or show or show clear distancing. So I could

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Speaker 1: have taken the hint early and we wouldn't be here.

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Speaker 1: I really like him, and I want to get over

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Speaker 1: it so that past tense becomes my reality. Oh for context,

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Speaker 1: we're both in our late twenties trying to be vague

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Speaker 1: on purpose. So the kind of person I am, I

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Speaker 1: will not get over this crush until I get.

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Speaker 3: It off my chest.

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Speaker 1: I haven't had a genuine crush in a good amount

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Speaker 1: of years. I don't like people easily, but I don't

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Speaker 1: want to have feelings for a married man.

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Speaker 3: Not only is this.

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Speaker 1: Cliche, I'm not turning into my worst nightmare this late

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Speaker 1: in life. I've never tolerated cheating, been around cheaters, and

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Speaker 1: almost being thirty is late in deciding to be an

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Speaker 1: awful human being. At first, I was just going to

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Speaker 1: default to my normal self and decide to just tell

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Speaker 1: him I like him. But I know he's married and

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to blow up his life. I just

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Speaker 1: wanted closure so I could move on innocent enough. However,

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Speaker 1: I've been haunted by Reddit and stupid think pieces. Plus

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Speaker 1: I'm a keen contingency thinker, so I eventually came to

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Speaker 1: the reality that mentioning this could possibly make the husband

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Speaker 1: turn away from his wife or even try to be

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Speaker 1: more with me, or a few slew of possibilities. Oh,

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Speaker 1: he continues, this mainly stems from how he never really

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Speaker 1: put up a wall to my flirting and favoritism, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's still a man and could just be that dumb,

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Speaker 1: But I have a good idiot radar and he's not

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Speaker 1: on it. I have a good idiot radar, so it

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Speaker 1: felt deliberate. So then I thought I could reach out

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Speaker 1: to the wife and tell her my situation and ask

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Speaker 1: her what she would prefer me to do. I want

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Speaker 1: to leave her husband alone, but my feelings can't go

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Speaker 1: away until I talk it out considering changing jobs. That's

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Speaker 1: the nuclear option. I don't want to open her husband's

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Speaker 1: eyes to the fact that I and possibly other women

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Speaker 1: might want him if he's already morally questionable and creates

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Speaker 1: issues in the marriage. I know by this point I

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Speaker 1: can't expect people to think and react the way I would,

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Speaker 1: which would be to ignore random girl telling me I

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Speaker 1: like her husband because I'm married. I want to be

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Speaker 1: more realistic to how society is, which is why I'm here.

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Speaker 1: Should I ask the wife if she'd rather I just

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Speaker 1: f off and keep it to myself and harbor this

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Speaker 1: crush for her husband in silence, or if she'd allow

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Speaker 1: me to tell him so I can move on regardless

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Speaker 1: of what he wants. Or should I just tell him

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Speaker 1: and keep it pushing like the fallout has nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with me? The third feels irresponsible. One more comment

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Speaker 1: before posting. I've never liked someone who had someone already,

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Speaker 1: regardless of how it happened. The technicality doesn't matter. It's

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Speaker 1: happening and it's new. I'm afraid that if he tries

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Speaker 1: to kiss me or some crap, I'll kiss him back

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Speaker 1: on reflex because I do like him right now, before

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Speaker 1: realizing what's happening and being disgusted with him him, I

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Speaker 1: would kiss him. It sounds crazy, but I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to be realistic, knowing how my brain works. That's why

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Speaker 1: I don't really want to sit on it. I know

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Speaker 1: I'll not want him after something like that, but the

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Speaker 1: damage will be done as far as the wife is concerned.

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Speaker 1: And no, I haven't talked to him about the wife

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Speaker 1: or the lack of ring. I kind of hate him

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Speaker 1: right now for not disclosing, but he never did anything explicit,

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Speaker 1: so I can't hate him for real. I have a

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Speaker 1: hate for him that is clearly stemming from my affection

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Speaker 1: and love for him, which is why I'm so alarmed

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Speaker 1: right now, trying not to be a red flag. But

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Speaker 1: even my green flag option sounds like a crazy witch

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Speaker 1: plotting on a family.

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Speaker 3: So what should I do? What is wrong with people?

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Speaker 1: People need to learn that, like, just because you feel

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Speaker 1: a thing doesn't entitle you to then like act on

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Speaker 1: it in you know, in a selfish way. It's like

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Speaker 1: you have a crush on a married man. You are

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Speaker 1: not the only person who has ever experienced this. He

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Speaker 1: has done nothing wrong and you just need to go, well,

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Speaker 1: I like someone who's unavailable, and I'm gonna move on.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna move forward. I don't need to be a

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Speaker 1: big dramatic reveal. I don't need to get closure about it.

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Speaker 1: The closure is moving on.

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Speaker 4: Right You saying that I'm just gonna go open the

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Speaker 4: option for him to maybe leave his wife though, is

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Speaker 4: immediately in hr case that's getting you fired.

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Speaker 1: Yeah no, and your your whole, your whole point of

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Speaker 1: view here is like really alarming because it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you do just want to date this guy? Me like,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, if he tries to kiss me

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Speaker 1: or something, I won't be able to stop myself.

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Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, you.

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Speaker 1: Could, you could go whoa, Hey, you're married, so you

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Speaker 1: do you you don't really care.

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Speaker 3: Edit.

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Speaker 1: I will no longer entertain or respond to any post

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Speaker 1: telling me to seek therapy, cause, for one, I'm not crazy.

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Speaker 1: To clarify, I don't have some weird need or want

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Speaker 1: to tell the wife. Under everyday circumstances, I would have

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Speaker 1: told this coworker how I used to feel always best

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Speaker 1: to say it in a pastime and so they don't

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Speaker 1: think it's a door open.

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Speaker 3: Situation and move on.

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Speaker 1: If he was single, i'd already be halfway to finding

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Speaker 1: a new work husband. But I've never been in a

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Speaker 1: situation where there was another party connected.

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Speaker 3: So I stopped myself.

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Speaker 1: From doing my default, mainly due to Reddit horror stories

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Speaker 1: and consider the possibility of consulting the wife. In my

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Speaker 1: initial mind frame, it didn't matter to me if he responded.

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Speaker 1: I just needed to say it. Regardless, I won't end

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Speaker 1: up with him because he'll either be a cheater or fickle. Now,

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Speaker 1: all that's left is to either tell him so I

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Speaker 1: can move on or change jobs so I won't have

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Speaker 1: a chance of seeing him, and I can compartmentalize and

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Speaker 1: act like I've never met or liked him.

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Speaker 3: Those are my only two options.

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Speaker 1: Staying around a married man with feelings for him is

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Speaker 1: not a dang option.

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Speaker 3: It's weird and dumb. And there's another at it.

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Speaker 1: Something that came up that I think others could also

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Speaker 1: be assuming, so I should address it. When I say

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Speaker 1: I want to tell him, I'm not talking about some

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Speaker 1: sly I like you, but I know we can can't

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Speaker 1: be together. Comment that really isn't even closure, that's just

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Speaker 1: something home wreckers say to feel morally, just when they're

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Speaker 1: testing the water for being side chicks. I would say exactly,

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Speaker 1: if not something eerily similar to quote I used to

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Speaker 1: like you, but I'm moving past it, thank you. I

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Speaker 1: would say that since a lot of people brought up

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Speaker 1: workplace issues that I think are valid concerns, and we

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Speaker 1: have an update. There were maybe three people who gave

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Speaker 1: constructive criticism and advice between both posts. I'm really only

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Speaker 1: updating for y'all because the rest are either hurt individuals

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Speaker 1: or cheating fantasizers.

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Speaker 3: And all your advice is really.

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Speaker 1: To your ex that hurt you, or some weird cheating

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Speaker 1: adjacent type situation. I came to my conclusion after consulting

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Speaker 1: the whole extended friend group, because unlike y'all, they've all

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Speaker 1: known me for at least ten years and aren't fueled

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Speaker 1: by their own biases. I can't believe how dumb you

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Speaker 1: are to be like my best friends that I've known

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Speaker 1: for ten years have no bias around me at all. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: the conclusion we can was to ultimately tell him. We

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Speaker 1: concluded that by not telling him I would be giving

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Speaker 1: him special treatment and could end up solidifying the emotion.

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Speaker 1: Everyone agreed I should just get it off my chest.

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Speaker 1: It's the quickest way to remove myself from this and

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Speaker 1: their situation.

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Speaker 3: Their situation, the situation they are.

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Speaker 2: Is situation you are dragging them in.

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Speaker 1: Their situation is a marriage. You you are the issue,

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Speaker 1: You are the situation by bringing this up, Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: All other options is me dragging it out, which was

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Speaker 1: voted a red flag for my spiraling, although I'm sure

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Speaker 1: two of my guy friends only said that because they

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Speaker 1: like seeing me do my reverse rejection, a name they

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Speaker 1: coined in undergrad For context, it was about eleven people consulted,

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Speaker 1: four women and seven men. Now this is where we split,

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Speaker 1: but we agreed I should record my voice in case

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Speaker 1: he tried to lie and make it something it's not,

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Speaker 1: or if the wife ever does reach out, I can give.

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Speaker 3: Her the audio so she can use that however she likes.

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Speaker 4: So she has the audio of her being like, hey, husband,

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Speaker 4: I really or a coworker, I really really like you,

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Speaker 4: and coworker being like I have a wife and she's like,

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Speaker 4: I'll send this to his wife and she leave, He'll

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Speaker 4: leave him.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand how how you're making him like the

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Speaker 1: one who it's.

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Speaker 2: Like because she can't see, you're making him.

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Speaker 3: The guy who's like and this is his fault.

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Speaker 4: Actually she needs him to leave the wife, so that's

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Speaker 4: not cheating, so that she morally feels okay with this,

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Speaker 4: just so she can turn around and reject him because

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Speaker 4: she felt rejected.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like what is his wife can use that audio

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Speaker 1: for to laugh at. I'll probably tell my manager to

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Speaker 1: just so he's in the loop, like my HR friend suggested,

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Speaker 1: So I'll probably post my transcript later.

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Speaker 3: I've never had to be around someone I got over.

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Speaker 1: So I would change departments if he starts acting weird,

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Speaker 1: but ultimately, at the end of the lunch break, I'll

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Speaker 1: tell him and get back to work. Tomorrow is hybrid day, too,

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Speaker 1: so we chose today. I don't think it will vary

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Speaker 1: much from my normal prompt I've said before in an edit,

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Speaker 1: but I'll let y'all know if I feel like it.

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Speaker 3: Reddit is full of some twisted people.

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Speaker 1: I get it. I get I think differently than most people.

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Speaker 1: But y'all really dragged your think pieces that were solely

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Speaker 1: based off of your own life experience, which got nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with me.

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Speaker 4: Why'd you post on the internet then, like you asked

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Speaker 4: at the beginning for a think piece, This girl's just

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Speaker 4: I need you to go back and read your posts

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Speaker 4: because I think you blacked out somewhere in it.

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Speaker 1: Very unhelpful, by the way, but I started this, so

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Speaker 1: I should probably see it through to the end and

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Speaker 1: update y'all on it.

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Speaker 3: And we do have that second update.

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Speaker 5: Get to it. Just get to it, I will know.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't do it at lunch like I planned.

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Speaker 1: He could tell I was off though, because I was distancing,

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Speaker 1: and I ended up saving it for the end of

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Speaker 1: the day. Thought that would be best cause we don't

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Speaker 1: come into the office on Tuesday, so it would give

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Speaker 1: time to minimize any fallout.

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Speaker 3: Ended up saying, hey.

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Speaker 1: This could be weird, but I used to like you,

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Speaker 1: but I'm moving past it. Just wanted to be transparent

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Speaker 1: since we worked closely together. I didn't know you had

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Speaker 1: a wife until last week, so I thought i'd just

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Speaker 1: rip the band aid. I think moving forward, I should

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Speaker 1: partner with James so it's not weird. Boundaries are best.

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Speaker 1: I'll be cordial though, but yeah, have a blessed today, girl.

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Speaker 5: Jus I need to know his response.

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Speaker 2: I don't think we're gonna get that.

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Speaker 3: Oh, he continues. Then I just walked to my car.

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Speaker 1: He texted me like an hour after to apologize and

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Speaker 1: make sure that we're still cool and make sure it's

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Speaker 1: not weird Wednesday when we get back in the office.

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Speaker 1: He actually asked if we could still be friends, which

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter much to me. But yeah, I think this

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Speaker 1: chapter is over. I feel a lot better now.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't matter much to me if we actually stay friends,

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Speaker 4: because they really only wanted you on a relationship level,

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Speaker 4: and if we're just gonna remain cordial, you're of no

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Speaker 4: use to me. And that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna go to the next one. My boss accused

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Speaker 4: me of faking my grandmother's passing, so I quit.

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Speaker 1: Here's a rashes boss you feel she still think I'm joking.

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Speaker 4: I twenty four female, have been working at this grocery

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Speaker 4: store retail for five years now. I started working at

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Speaker 4: this establishment during the VID and have been there ever since.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from X Moonwitch X.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit.

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Speaker 4: Your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good

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Speaker 4: advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We

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Speaker 4: really know what we would do, so let us know

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Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments. And Opie says,

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Speaker 4: my mom used to work there as well, up until

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Speaker 4: this April when she quit right before the.

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Speaker 2: Big Easter fiasco.

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Speaker 4: Reasoning our boss, let's call her Agnes, female and in

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Speaker 4: her sixties now. Agnes she's a pretty strict boss, or well,

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Speaker 4: almost never in a good mood and tends to let

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Speaker 4: it out on other employees. She's not well liked amongst

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Speaker 4: the people who work there and in general has a

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Speaker 4: bad repute to her name. She'll have days where she's

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Speaker 4: in a great mood, laughs, smiles, and actively chats with you,

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Speaker 4: calling you her favorite, making you feel special in a way.

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Speaker 4: But then she'll have days where you're her worst enemy

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Speaker 4: and she avoids you at all costs, avoids talking to you,

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Speaker 4: and if you ask her something, she's kind of aggressing you,

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Speaker 4: telling you to do your job. She'll hold a grudge

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Speaker 4: against you for a while and treat you poorly, especially

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Speaker 4: if you did something wrong. As I stated, I was

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Speaker 4: hired during the VID, a really terrible and stressful time,

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Speaker 4: and Agnes didn't make it easier for me. She'd have

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Speaker 4: days where what I'd do is good enough, but she'd

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Speaker 4: also have days where nothing I do is good enough

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Speaker 4: for her, and I do everything wrong and she aggresses

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Speaker 4: me or yells at me until I almost cried in

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Speaker 4: front of customers.

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Speaker 2: Since my mom was working with me, I'd.

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Speaker 4: Always run to her and tell her what Agnes's problem was. Again,

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Speaker 4: my mom would often tell me to just ignore it

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Speaker 4: and keep doing my job. My mom did the same time.

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Speaker 4: This a lot of times made me just want to

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Speaker 4: quit after only a few months of working there, I

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Speaker 4: couldn't deal with Agnes's attitude, but I sucked it up

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Speaker 4: and pushed through. In twenty twenty two, our store was

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Speaker 4: rebuilt from a small to bigger store, and I started

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Speaker 4: working behind the counter, serving customers and making them sandwiches.

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Speaker 4: Think of a grocery store with a built in subway

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Speaker 4: or something. I don't know how common they are, but

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Speaker 4: they're common here. Agnes suddenly started being nicer towards me

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Speaker 4: and not aggress me all the time. Of course she would,

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Speaker 4: but not always. Because of her mood swings and moodiness.

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Speaker 4: I can't and I don't really trust her because she

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Speaker 4: aggresses you one minute and will laugh with you the

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Speaker 4: next minute. I'd say it has been stable all of

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Speaker 4: this time, sometimes better, sometimes worse moments.

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Speaker 2: But I'm enjoying my work.

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Speaker 4: I really do now the main problem which actually occurred today,

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Speaker 4: and I need to know if I would be the

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Speaker 4: abe or not. So last Wednesday, I sadly lost my

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Speaker 4: beloved grandmother, eighty eight female, due to a heart attack.

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Speaker 4: She was hospitalized last Tuesday and sadly passed away Wednesday morning.

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Speaker 2: She fell asleep peacefully. I was told it's.

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Speaker 4: Currently taking a toll on my mental health. Therefore, I

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Speaker 4: called off work or called in sick from Wednesday to

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Speaker 4: yesterday Sunday.

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Speaker 2: Agnes was not necessarily.

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Speaker 4: Happy about this, nor did she understand this one hundred percent,

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Speaker 4: and tried to sway me into still showing up at

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Speaker 4: work the next day. But I needed to think about myself,

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Speaker 4: my health, and I needed to be with my grandma

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Speaker 4: because at the time I had no idea how much

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Speaker 4: longer I had with her. I also stated at my

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Speaker 4: mom's for the time being, as I couldn't be alone

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Speaker 4: in that moment.

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Speaker 2: I really needed this time off.

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Speaker 4: Otherwise I would have a mental breakdown at work and

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Speaker 4: no one wants that. Today, Monday, I came back to work.

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Speaker 4: I handed Agnes my excuse to leave, like a notice

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Speaker 4: from my doctor to be excused off work from Wednesday

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Speaker 4: to Sunday, and I showed her my grandma's funeral flyers,

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Speaker 4: so she saw that I had to attend her funeral

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Speaker 4: this Friday and be excused off of work. Agnes looked

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Speaker 4: at my notice, telling me it's fine, but then looked

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Speaker 4: at the flyer of my grandma and I kid you

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Speaker 4: not when I say, she told me, well, you don't

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Speaker 4: lie about something like this.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me, you did not just say that.

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Speaker 4: So basically Agnes called me a liar, lying about my

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Speaker 4: grandma's passing, and basically accusing me of just taking a

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Speaker 4: few days off of work because I don't want to

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Speaker 4: work and I'm bored or something.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: So she saw your actual grandma's funeral flyer and was.

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Speaker 3: Like, yeah, it's a pretty good photoshop job right there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, weird behab. I am not lying about

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Speaker 4: my grandma's passing. What the f Agnes? And not believable?

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Speaker 4: Who lies about something like that? Can you even fake that?

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Speaker 4: I looked at Agnes really shocked and replied back to her,

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Speaker 4: my grandma did, in fact pass away. What else else

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Speaker 4: should I tell you? I raised my voice a bit

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Speaker 4: because this is unacceptable. Agnes's final words were, yeah, that's okay,

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00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,360
Speaker 4: it's all right, it's all good. I didn't say anything

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Speaker 4: further and went to my locker. But this is upset

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Speaker 4: and angered me the whole time I was at work,

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Speaker 4: and I have thoughts of quitting because the level of

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Speaker 4: disrespect and lack of empathy towards someone who is visibly

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Speaker 4: grieving is beyond me. Nobody cares how you feel in

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Speaker 4: this store or establishment. I called my mom on my

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Speaker 4: break to tell her this, and she was absolutely flabbergasted

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Speaker 4: and shocked. But she did also tell me that the

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Speaker 4: reason why she quit in April is because of the

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Speaker 4: same level of disrespect, lack of empathy, and lack of

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Speaker 4: care at the store, always getting aggressed, yelled at, and

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00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,760
Speaker 4: agnes not believing my mom when she's saying something. My

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00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 4: mom says that the workplace I am at now is

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Speaker 4: toxic and she only saw that once she left. She

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Speaker 4: gave me the option to quit as well and start

390
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Speaker 4: work at her job. So we're a getting working together

391
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 4: or search for a new place, or I stay where

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Speaker 4: I'm at now. But honestly, after that, I'm not tolerating

393
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 4: slander against me, my family, or my deceased family. That's

394
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 4: not funny, nor is it okay to say that ever.

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Speaker 1: I'm well, well, well, My favorite example of this is

396
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 1: it's not in a workplace, but it's as a teacher.

397
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 1: And he sent a mass email on to everyone and

398
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm not sure what went around, but I

399
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: guess twenty people's grandmothers have passed away. All at the

400
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 1: same time this week and it was like finals week,

401
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,879
Speaker 1: Like it was like the this is the week, like

402
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 1: a paper was due or something.

403
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 2: Right, there's no like fine network, No, No.

404
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 3: I'm just saying there's a time you can call it out.

405
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 3: Then you know, it's like, I don't know if.

406
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 2: You guys calling it out to like one.

407
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,399
Speaker 1: Person email was so funny because it's like, yeah, I

408
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys want me to like get

409
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 1: a grief counselor for you all collectively since all of

410
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 1: you are dealing with the exact same.

411
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 2: Issue into the next election.

412
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, this place just sounds sounds like she

413
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: said that just because like she felt like she could.

414
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not sure why you wouldn't just take the

415
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 4: immediate higher job with your mom again, Yeah, you should say,

416
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 4: like a sweet gig, I'm visibly grieving, crying my eyes

417
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 4: out for the loss of my grandma, and I get

418
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Speaker 4: labeled as a liar.

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Speaker 2: Small note.

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Speaker 4: When I left work today and I clocked out, Agnes

421
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 4: was suddenly again nice to me and told me goodbye

422
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 4: in the nicest way possible, even smiling at me. I

423
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 4: hate these mood swings, So would I be the a hole.

424
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 4: I know I'm being stupid for asking, but I feel

425
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 4: like I'm overreacting sometimes. Also, thank you for letting me

426
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,160
Speaker 4: get this off my chest. My emotions are all over

427
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 4: the place, and I have a funeral to attend on Friday,

428
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,320
Speaker 4: which I'm not ready for really, And we have an

429
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 4: update twenty.

430
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Speaker 2: Two days later. This is a post funeral update.

431
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just get a different job if you want.

432
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, if it's if the opportunity is abundant and available

433
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 1: to you.

434
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:52,400
Speaker 4: Yeah.

435
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 2: I feel like you know that she sucks. So why

436
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 2: are we still here?

437
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 4: First of all, the original post was written in a

438
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 4: state whom my emotions and feelings were running quite high

439
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 4: and all over the place. I needed a place to vent,

440
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 4: and I'm thankful you guys gave me that space. I

441
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 4: have calmed down and I'm on my way of healing

442
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 4: from the loss of my grandma. We had the funeral too.

443
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 4: The worst days of my life are now in the past,

444
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,199
Speaker 4: and I feel better now. To the small update. To

445
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 4: remind you, I recently lost my grandma eighty eight due

446
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 4: to a heart attack, and Agnes, my boss at work,

447
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 4: told me, you don't lie about something like this. When

448
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 4: I showed her the flyer thing you get after someone

449
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 4: passes away. I don't know how common that is, but

450
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 4: in my country it's pretty common. That flyer also stated

451
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 4: the date of her funeral. I had a mental breakdown

452
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,400
Speaker 4: after I wrote my original post, but I calmed down

453
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 4: shortly after. I still have no idea in what way

454
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,439
Speaker 4: Agnes meant what she said, and I'm still not one

455
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 4: hundred percent sure. While coworkers at work tell me, Oh,

456
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 4: she didn't mean it like that, don't worry. My family

457
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 4: was shocked and didn't understand why Agnes would say such

458
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 4: a thing. They would shake their head in disbelief and

459
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 4: ask me what the heck she want was thinking. So

460
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 4: this is a complicated matter, and I decided to just

461
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 4: leave it.

462
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 2: And move on with my life.

463
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 4: The funeral of my grandma was on October seventeenth, a Friday,

464
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 4: which is also coincidentally my birthday, and no, we couldn't

465
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 4: go around it. We tried, but the pastor was only

466
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 4: available for us on that day. This day was the

467
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 4: most difficult day of my life and I was mentally

468
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 4: and emotionally a wreck. I couldn't stop crying and seeing

469
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 4: my mom cry too, which is so rare. Made me

470
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 4: cry even more. We had this meal after the funeral,

471
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 4: and I couldn't feel happy, let alone enjoy myself. Despite

472
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 4: getting so many birthday wishes, this was not the place

473
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 4: to celebrate. So we moved my birthday onto the eighteen

474
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 4: the next day.

475
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 3: Yeah that's fair.

476
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,400
Speaker 2: Yeah that makes sense.

477
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 3: That makes sense.

478
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 4: The funeral destroyed me mentally, physically and emotionally, so I

479
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 4: called in sick for Saturday because I would have had

480
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 4: another mental breakdown and I was not in the state

481
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 4: to work this time. Agnes took a surprise well, and

482
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 4: she didn't say anything. I recovered now from the loss

483
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,239
Speaker 4: of my grandma and the funeral, we had not one

484
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 4: hundred percent, but it's getting easier slowly.

485
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 3: Maybe Agnes really was like she saw the flyer.

486
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: And then was like, oh, you know, I like something

487
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 1: about this, like just being like, oh, yeah, it's like

488
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: this is true, because you don't lie about something like this.

489
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, based off her past history.

490
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 3: Then inside comment that came out, Yeah.

491
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 4: Agnes, leave your inside comments inside. I still feel like

492
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,360
Speaker 4: though Agnes got something going on that she obviously needs

493
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 4: to get under control.

494
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 2: So maybe we just find another.

495
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: Yea, No, the odds have heard, but the odds of

496
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: that just being an inside thought are not very high.

497
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she was just I don't know. She

498
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 3: just tried to. She was like, oh, I got her.

499
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,959
Speaker 1: I'll put her on the spot. She won't know how

500
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 1: to recover. Oh, well, this isn't something you lie about.

501
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: And then just the immediate excuse me, what did you

502
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: just say? And she's like, oh, no, no, never mind, I'm sorry. No,

503
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 1: it's fine, I said the wrong thing. No, it's fine,

504
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 1: it's good, it's okay, it's fine.

505
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 4: When I went back to work the following Monday, Agnes

506
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 4: kept ignoring me, and honestly, I didn't mind. And normally

507
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 4: she says morning ope when I come in in the morning,

508
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 4: but she'd just say morning in a not so enthusiastic

509
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 4: and friendly way. I kept ignoring it because whatever, I'm

510
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 4: here to do my work and leave right As of

511
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 4: right now, I haven't quit my job yet and I'm

512
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 4: still working there.

513
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: I'll keep this.

514
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 4: Quitting thing in the back of my head should anything

515
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 4: else happen, but I don't want to risk anything. And

516
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 4: maybe I was overreacting, because now that my emotions are

517
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 4: back to normal, maybe I did kind of overreact. So

518
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I'm doing well right now and

519
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 4: I'm currently on a one week holiday from work, so

520
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 4: this was needed.

521
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 2: I'll update you should.

522
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 4: Anything else happen, but I thought i'd come here and

523
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 4: say this thank you to those who read my original

524
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 4: post when I was a wreck haha, and that is

525
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 4: the end of that story.

526
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 1: My manager pestered me about my hygiene, so I got

527
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: him reported.

528
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 2: Hopefully you're not stinky.

529
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 1: I twenty two mail recently moved States and started my

530
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: new job I've been transferred to. I've been working here

531
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 1: for about a month as both a sales and stock associate,

532
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 1: and I've been having some issues with one of my supervisors.

533
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 3: Let's call him Rob eighteen.

534
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user Parking Window seventeen

535
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: seventy three, and if you want to submit your own stories,

536
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime suppurate it.

537
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we are here

538
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 3: to give you good advice.

539
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: Goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We just

540
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: know what we do, so tell us what you would

541
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: do in the comments and op says for context. Everyone

542
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: at the store dislikes rob including my manager. He's a

543
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: terrible supervisor and honestly just a bad person. He's late

544
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: every week by thirty minutes to an hour and never

545
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: gives notice in advance. During his shifts, he is what

546
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: me and my friends call a register hog and hogs

547
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: the register and spends all the time on his phone

548
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: while the rest of us.

549
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 3: Are doing the actual work.

550
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: Because he's always at the register, he rings up customers

551
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: and selects himself as the associate who helped them, and

552
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 1: takes credit from the rest of us, even though he

553
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: doesn't need the sales, since supervisors have much lower goals

554
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 1: than associates. He doesn't listen to our store manager, goes

555
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: behind her back and tries to tell her what to do.

556
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 1: He's already gotten three write ups in the month I've

557
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: been here. He's condescending to employees, micromanages employees, treats us

558
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 1: like we are dumb, is rude to customers, thinks he

559
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 1: can do whatever he wants, and even once fell asleep

560
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 1: for an hour during his shift and then two associates

561
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 1: had to wake him up at closing. At first I

562
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 1: thought he was chilling funny, but that changed pretty quickly.

563
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: The first red flag was when a customer came in

564
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 1: explaining he applied for a job and asked why he

565
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: hadn't heard back. After the customer left, Rob said that

566
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: he looks special. What do you want me to say

567
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: to this dude? I literally just replied with okay, because

568
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: I have social anxiety and cannot deal with silence, so

569
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: I felt I had to answer him anyway. The main

570
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 1: incidents the first one, I was scheduled until six pm

571
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: and had just clocked out when Rob stopped me and

572
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: said he he wanted to talk privately. I genuinely thought

573
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: I was in trouble and started panicking. He started off

574
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: with I know you run hot, but then he proceeded

575
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: to say I smell really bad. I felt so bad

576
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: after he said this, so bad. I didn't even know

577
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 1: what to say. I told him I have a chronic

578
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: illness that causes me to sweat even more on top

579
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: of me already running very hot. Naturally, he asked if

580
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: I take pills for it. No, Bro, I actually just

581
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: let it fester inside me. I told him yes, but

582
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: I didn't feel that was his business, which you are correct,

583
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: it is not. The conversation really should have ended once,

584
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: I said I have a chronic illness. If I were

585
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: in his position, I would be apologizing over and over

586
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: and would not continue. Instead, the conversation went on for

587
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: a full five minutes just about how.

588
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 3: I smell really bad.

589
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: He would start some sentences with I'm not trying to

590
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: be mean, and then say something mean. Just because you

591
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 1: add that at the beginning doesn't automatically make the following

592
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: sentence any less mean. He told me from a business stand,

593
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: it could turn customers away and make them leave. He

594
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 1: said he only likes to work with clean people. This

595
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 1: made me more upset, as I am a clean person.

596
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 1: I shower every day, clean up after myself, wash my hands,

597
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: and do hand sanitizer frequently. I reapplied deodorant, et cetera.

598
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: I felt so terrible that he implied I wasn't. Then

599
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: he told me I could bring deodorant to work and

600
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: reapply during the day, which I already was doing, but

601
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 1: I guess not enough. I was nodding my head and

602
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 1: taking in his advice and didn't say I was uncomfortable

603
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: because he's my supervisor and it felt illegal to argue

604
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: with him, especially since it was my first week there.

605
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: I also have terrible social anxiety and struggle to tell

606
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: people I'm uncomfortable. So I just thanked him, even though

607
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: I'm not sure to this day if I meant it.

608
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: He asks if we're cool? I lie and say yes.

609
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: Not even two minutes later, he asked me my pronouns,

610
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: which I thought was a solid question for more background,

611
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: I am a I am a train man.

612
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 3: I tell him.

613
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: He him, He looks me in the eyes and goes,

614
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 1: are you sure. I genuinely wanted to cry.

615
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

616
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 4: So see now he's fully just being an a hole

617
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 4: and this is easily a write up, and uh, you

618
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 4: shouldn't have to work for this man.

619
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

620
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: I already have a fear in the back of my

621
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: mind that people can tell I'm trans Now this fear

622
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: was height I was thinking about this, and even if

623
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: I wasn't and I was cis, this would still be

624
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: an offensive question. For instance, if my mom was asked

625
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: what are your pronouns? And she says she her, and

626
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: someone on the other end goes, are you sure?

627
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: It reads as are you sure because you look like

628
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 3: a man to me? If that makes sense? I tell

629
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 3: him I'm sure. Then he goes, are you sure you

630
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 3: don't use?

631
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: They them nothing wrong with those pronouns, but it seems

632
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: to me like he already has his mind made up

633
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: about what I look like, which is non binary, which

634
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 1: by the way, does not even have a look and

635
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: what I said did not align with what he was thinking.

636
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 3: Anyway.

637
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: I left work that night and immediately sent voice messages

638
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: to my friends about what happened.

639
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 3: I just felt awful, ashamed, and defeated.

640
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: I took a shower as soon as I got home

641
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: because all I could think about was how he said

642
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: I smelled very bad. I thought about the pronoun conversation

643
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: and realized I didn't even ask his pronouns, and that

644
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: maybe I was also being inconsiderate.

645
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 2: You were not. You were not.

646
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 4: You got hit with someone being just incredibly rude and

647
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 4: mean to you. In that moment, I think you should

648
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: just walked away.

649
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 1: I made a mental note that I really prioritized to

650
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,719
Speaker 1: ask him next time I worked with him. Next time

651
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: I worked with him, I say, oh, by the way,

652
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: last time we spoke, I realized I didn't even ask

653
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: your pronouns.

654
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: What pronouns do you use? He just goes, uhhh, just regular, brother,

655
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 3: what are regular pronouns? He goes by reg and la reguer.

656
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, the way I would so hard be using regular

657
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: in place of his pronoun.

658
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 3: I'd say, what up, Reggie.

659
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: Now me and my friends have an inside joke where

660
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: we refer to him as regular, then he says he him.

661
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: Since the initial deodorant conversation, I became obsessive with theodorant

662
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 1: and reapplying every two seconds. At work, I would go

663
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 1: to the backstock room and reapply insane amounts in fear

664
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: of my supervisor, Rob being able to smell me and

665
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: say something. Before and after work, I was also going ham.

666
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: I would try very hard not to stand close to

667
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: only Rob or I would try very close not to

668
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 1: stand I would try very hard not to stand close

669
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: to not only Rob, but my other coworkers and the customers.

670
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: My mind was now not focused on work, but instead

671
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: how I smell. Then, exactly a week later, I worked

672
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: in an eleven and a half hour shift. I finally

673
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: clocked out and was literally turning around to leave, and

674
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: he stops me. I don't remember how he started the

675
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 1: topic because it was all a blur, but he told

676
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: me I smelled really bad again, and I just felt

677
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 1: defeated again, but this time even more because I couldn't

678
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: fathom how after all this reapplying, I still smell terrible

679
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: to him. I cut him off and tell him I

680
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: was literally doing everything I could and was reapplying like crazy,

681
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: that I'm coming in the back stock room every two

682
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: seconds and applying insane amounts of deodorant.

683
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 3: He tells me it is a little better, but still bad.

684
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: He says he can't smell it if he's standing a

685
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: few feet away, but he can if we're close. I

686
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: feel like, since mentioning my chronic illness, this shouldn't even

687
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: be a discussion anymore.

688
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 3: This conversation lasts.

689
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: Even longer than the first. Then we go over to

690
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: the alarm so he can set it. He starts asking

691
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: more personal invasive questions. He asks when I sweat, if

692
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: it is really wet? He asks if my sweat is

693
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: soaking wet? He asks if it drips down?

694
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 3: Brother, Ugh, what do we do?

695
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 2: It's sure a description of your arm pis?

696
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 4: What?

697
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 3: Come on? This is not a miss. It's not mysterious.

698
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 3: It's arm pit sweat.

699
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: What are we doing? Why do you need to know that?

700
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: As a supervisor? Again, I was unsure how to tell

701
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: him I'm uncomfortable and was just panicking and had a

702
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety. So I'm honest with him and say no.

703
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: I tell him how I know some people are like that,

704
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: but I'm not. Despite sweating a lot and running hot,

705
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: what relevance does this have?

706
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 3: He keeps going. He asks if my armpits are soaking wet?

707
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 3: I say no.

708
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: He goes, really, I tell him yes. He says, if

709
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: you touch your armpits right now, are they wet?

710
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 5: Dude?

711
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 2: What I think that?

712
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 3: What is going on for armpits is weird?

713
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 4: This is going too far and this man needs to

714
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 4: be extremely reported to his superior.

715
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: Yes, let's let's let's talk to the real boss here.

716
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 3: I tell him no.

717
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: He goes, not at all, and I say no. I

718
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: share with him, no one has ever told me this before,

719
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: not even my friend, who has no problem telling people

720
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: things like this. He responds with, oh, then I don't know.

721
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: He then sets the alarm and we leave. I wanted

722
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: to cry so bad, to say the least. I told

723
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: my parents, sibling, and therapist, and they all said I

724
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: needed to tell my manager, even though I didn't want to.

725
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 1: For a few reasons, I did not feel this was

726
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 1: severe or serious enough at all and felt I would

727
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:16,840
Speaker 1: not be taken seriously.

728
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 3: Two. I did not want to feel like a tattle tale.

729
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: Three I was scared if I told my manager, Rob

730
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: would find out and make my life a living nightmare.

731
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 4: Four.

732
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: I genuinely just felt scared overall to say something. I

733
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: ended up telling my manager on a whim. She thought

734
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: this was unacceptable behavior and said she was so sorry. Overall,

735
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: she was very supportive and told me she will take

736
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: care of this. She took this to her boss, who

737
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: took this to HR, which I.

738
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 3: Didn't know it would even go there.

739
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 2: We all knew this would go there.

740
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would go there. It's weird. It's weird.

741
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: I had to write a written statement as well as

742
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: my manager. They also needed a written statement from Rob,

743
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: but since it was confidential, all they could give him

744
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: were the dates of the incidents, which, unfortunately, with that information,

745
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: made it easy for Rob to find out.

746
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,280
Speaker 3: I reported him.

747
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 1: Luckily enough, he hasn't said anything to me as of

748
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: right now, HR hasn't done anything or anything I know of.

749
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 3: I still work with this guy.

750
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, they couldn't even take me off the schedule with him.

751
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Here's where I feel conflicted. Earlier today,

752
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,280
Speaker 1: a somewhat new hire who is also a family friend

753
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: of my manager assaulted both Rob and my manager just

754
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: thirty minutes before I got to work.

755
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,760
Speaker 3: What job?

756
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 5: What is going on?

757
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 2: Aop?

758
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 4: Maybe we just quit and find a safer job altogether?

759
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: What crazy? There was a police report and the guy

760
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: was immediately fired. I do not know the details, but

761
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: apparently there was a knife involved. Rob left early with

762
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: a police officer. Despite everything that's happened with Rob and

763
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,800
Speaker 1: the type of person he is, I obviously feel awful

764
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: for him, like sick to my stomach and wanting to

765
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 1: cry bad. I keep thinking about how he just went

766
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: through something traumatic, and meanwhile there's my HR report on

767
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 1: top of that too.

768
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 3: Literally, not your fault at.

769
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 4: All, and those two things don't fall both on you,

770
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 4: even though one doesn't fall on you.

771
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 2: He's being weird.

772
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes me feel so guilty, like I added

773
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: to his misery or something.

774
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: I think the coworker that showed up in assault.

775
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 3: Him added to his misery, I think, I think.

776
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 4: So.

777
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: I know logically that what he did to me was wrong,

778
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 1: and I also know he's a terrible person, but I

779
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 1: can't get rid of this guilt, and prior to this,

780
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 1: I had a fear my situation wasn't serious enough to report.

781
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 1: After what's happened, my situation feels so miniscule. It feels

782
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,399
Speaker 1: it wasn't serious enough compared to what just happened to him.

783
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 1: I just wanted outside perspective because I'm feeling so conflicted,

784
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 1: and there is an update.

785
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 4: You should seek some therapy to get past that guilt,

786
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 4: because you one thousand percent should have.

787
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,320
Speaker 2: And I'm glad that you reported everything. He was being awful.

788
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 4: He's a terrible person and he needs to learn. And

789
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 4: him getting what whatever else came to him that day

790
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 4: before shift is completely unrelated.

791
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 2: Who even knows.

792
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 4: Maybe it's because he was also being stinky to that.

793
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 3: Guy who knows. Yeah, he just he was like, Oh,

794
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 3: you're a little stinky today, aren't you. Yeah.

795
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 4: Maybe he made about that dude's armpits out in the

796
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,919
Speaker 4: parking lot before his first shift.

797
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 3: Ever called the wrong guy stinky. Op. I think you

798
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 3: could be meaner. I think you could be more of

799
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 3: an a hole. I think he's so lay little of

800
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 3: an a hole.

801
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 1: That it lets you, It makes you let other people

802
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: be a holes to you.

803
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it would be really good, Opie, if

804
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 4: you learned to walk away in silence like you wanted

805
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 4: to that one time when you were like, but I

806
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 4: had to give an answer. No, No, you can just

807
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 4: let them sit with their thoughts that they just said, like,

808
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 4: let them really stew on how silly they sound.

809
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 3: We do have an update here. Rob's last day was yesterday.

810
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 3: I'm not sure what the final straw was.

811
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: It could be that he called out of work three

812
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,839
Speaker 1: of the five days he was supposed to work last week.

813
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: It could be that he showed up forty minutes late

814
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: on his only shifts that he went in for.

815
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 3: All I know is I'm glad he's gone. Anyway. My

816
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 3: manager gave all of.

817
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 1: Us specific tasks for us to do yesterday. She wrote

818
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: them out on a piece of paper and then tape

819
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: this to the computer we used to clock in. She

820
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: purposely gave Rob unobtainable and diabolical tasks. I got to

821
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 1: work and the sheet she wrote out on Saturday was

822
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: hidden and no one was doing their tasks. Him included

823
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: not only that, but halfway through my shift he let

824
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 1: us know he was going on break and that if

825
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,439
Speaker 1: we needed him to come, get him where I work.

826
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 1: Only supervisors and managers can do returns and exchanges. Not

827
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 1: even ten minutes after he went on break, a customer

828
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: came in to return something. I went to the backstock

829
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: room to get him and he was sleeping. I yelled

830
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: his name three times and he didn't wake up. My

831
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: coworker came in and rubbed his arm for a good

832
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: thirty seconds, and he still wasn't waking up.

833
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 3: There is no way he could have been in that

834
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 3: deep of sleep ice water.

835
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 4: He's just doing the Yeah, considering it took two people

836
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 4: to wake him up one time, I could believe it

837
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 4: might have actually taken.

838
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's taken sleeping pills before his shift and then

839
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 1: going to sleep.

840
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

841
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 3: Crazy. Finally he woke up.

842
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: His entire shift, he did none of his tasks, and

843
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,720
Speaker 1: he either was sleeping in the back on his phone

844
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 1: or sitting down on a bench inside while everyone else worked.

845
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: He didn't know it was his last day, but he

846
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 1: sure was acting like it. Glad it was his last day.

847
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: I've learned a lot through writing out my Reddit posts,

848
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: reading the comments, and talking with my therapist. What I've

849
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 1: realized is that him getting beaten up by a previous

850
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 1: coworker also reflects on him and his actions too. It

851
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: seems my old coworker had enough of his torment. My

852
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 1: manager told me I have been promoted to supervisor. Yeah,

853
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: got that promo. Got the promotion.

854
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 4: See you good for uop. And that's the end of

855
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,919
Speaker 4: this story. We're gonna go to the next one. Hey,

856
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 4: it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here.

857
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories. But he's

858
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 2: a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

859
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:09,760
Speaker 4: My siblings demanded that our mother hand over her house while.

860
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: She's still alive.

861
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 5: Hold up, that's her house.

862
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 4: My brother, sister in law, sister and brother in law

863
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 4: feel as if Mom should give them her house and

864
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 4: property and move into an old folks home or by

865
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 4: them a house. My mom is almost eighty, she has

866
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 4: all of her faculties about her. She's well educated and

867
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 4: very sprite. It's mostly my sister and brother causing all

868
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 4: the trouble. By the way, this comes from head full

869
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 4: of pain and if you want us to make your

870
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

871
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,280
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice.

872
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 2: Goofully but we don't have all the answers.

873
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 4: We only know what we would do, So let us

874
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 4: know what you would do in the comments. A few

875
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 4: years ago, my stepdad passed. He was a great guy

876
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 4: and good to my mom. My older brother and my

877
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 4: younger sister are convinced that Mom has secret money left

878
00:40:58,880 --> 00:40:59,760
Speaker 4: to her when.

879
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: Step dad passed away.

880
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,840
Speaker 4: At first, they thought she had cash hidden in the house,

881
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 4: so they'd visit her and one would keep her busy

882
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 4: while the other would snoop. Then they convince themselves that

883
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:11,720
Speaker 4: she had a secret bank account somewhere.

884
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 2: No, she doesn't. I do most of her banking and

885
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 2: set up her accounts for auto pay. She owns her

886
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 2: house free and clear.

887
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 4: After Dad passed away, I orchestrated a GoFundMe to get

888
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 4: her house paid off. We were successful. They do not

889
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 4: know that I did this. They were kept out of

890
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 4: the loop for fear they'd pressure her into giving them

891
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 4: some of the money, So they have no idea how

892
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 4: she paid her house off, only that she paid it off.

893
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 4: They really ramped up the pressure after she paid off

894
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 4: the house. Now they are convinced more than ever that

895
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 4: she has a secret stash of money. Then we told

896
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 4: them about the GoFundMe for her house, hoping they would

897
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 4: back off of Mom, but they lost it. They wanted

898
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 4: an accounting of the money, and they wanted anything that

899
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 4: was in the account turned over to them, threatening to

900
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 4: take me to court for elder financial control.

901
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 2: Now she only has to pay the monthly bills.

902
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 4: I set up her auto pay so I know exactly

903
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 4: how much money she has. Enough to live but not

904
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 4: enough to have any fun. So I pay her water

905
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 4: and cell phone bills for her. I transfer the money

906
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 4: into her account every month. They have each told her

907
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 4: she needs to give them money for a down payment

908
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 4: on a house, since she refuses to give up her

909
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 4: home of thirty five years. If she won't give them

910
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,280
Speaker 4: any money, then give up an acre to them each.

911
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 4: How are they entitled to her money? She receives less

912
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 4: than four K a month to live on. I cannot

913
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 4: convince them that she doesn't have a secret bank account.

914
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 2: The thing that they do.

915
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 4: Not understand is that he is not our biofather and

916
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 4: he didn't raise us. They married when we were all

917
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 4: out of the house. No matter how many times I

918
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 4: point this out, they say that it doesn't matter since

919
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 4: they called him dad, it's been a few years, but

920
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,879
Speaker 4: they still bring it up often. Mom called me last night.

921
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 4: She was tired and had worked hard today in her

922
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 4: high tunnel. Both of them had been calling for the

923
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 4: last few weeks, upping the rush. The last time they

924
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 4: brought it up, they talked about splitting her house and

925
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 4: property between the two of them, also mentioning her secret

926
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 4: bank account. There are five siblings altogether, but since the

927
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,359
Speaker 4: other three houses and careers are doing better than these two,

928
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 4: they think they're entitled to her home and.

929
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: Property after she passes.

930
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 4: What they do not know is that she left her

931
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 4: house and five acres to an animal rescue activist group

932
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 4: that she's very active in. I know because I'm the

933
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 4: executor of the will. She has asked me not to

934
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 4: tell them. How do I get them to back off

935
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 4: of her without telling them? There's not a snowballs chance

936
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 4: and hack that they're getting anything. She does not want

937
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 4: them to know about her will for fear they will

938
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,879
Speaker 4: pester the animal rescue activist group.

939
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 5: Exact words are, please don't tell them about my will, right,

940
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 5: But I think you need to show them the receipts

941
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 5: of them, like the money, like she's not making bank.

942
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 5: There's no money in the house, go get a job,

943
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 5: you bum.

944
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 2: Well, then they think that she should just give them

945
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 2: the house.

946
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 5: No, And I mean, I think you need to have

947
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 5: a full on intervention. There's five of you, yeah, and

948
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 5: three of you while including you, So three of you

949
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 5: guys are like, uh, we're pretty good. Two of them

950
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 5: are rotten eggs and they're vultures. I think you need

951
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,879
Speaker 5: to have literally an intervention and be like, hey, shut up,

952
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 5: there's nothing out of this. I don't know what you're

953
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 5: waiting for. I don't know what you keep pestering about,

954
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 5: because it's not gonna happen, and you have you keep pestering.

955
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 5: You can keep doing it, but it's just gonna be annoying.

956
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 4: Relevant comments. Can Opie's mother look into getting restraining orders

957
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 4: and blocking Opie's siblings numbers? Opie says, I've mentioned that

958
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 4: to her several times. She worked in the legal system

959
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 4: for a few decades and she.

960
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 2: Understands how it works.

961
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,839
Speaker 4: She's not interested in cutting them off in any way

962
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 4: at all.

963
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 2: She dearly loves all of her children.

964
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 4: Why is Obi sharing the information with her siblings about

965
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 4: their mother? Opie says, I only share what she allows

966
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 4: me to share. My sister's the youngest and my brother's

967
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,280
Speaker 4: the oldest. Those two have always been the golden children.

968
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,720
Speaker 4: I'm smack dab in the middle, so I'm the people pleaser.

969
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 4: I try to keep everybody happy all the time. She

970
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 4: really doesn't want to cut contact with them because then

971
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 4: she feels she'll lose contact with the grandkids and great grandkids.

972
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 4: She doesn't want that on their conscience when she passes.

973
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 4: My mom is intelligent and well educated, but she's also

974
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 4: extremely stubborn. Once she's made up her mind, it's almost

975
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 4: impossible to change it. Did the witnesses to her signing

976
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 4: the will also sign self proving affidavits that she is

977
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 4: of sound mind and was not under any dress when

978
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 4: she signed the will, and that she knows what is

979
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 4: in it. One of the ways that greedy relatives successfully

980
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 4: contest wills is through the witnesses. They make courts track

981
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 4: down the witnesses to get them to either clearly remember

982
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 4: your mother signing the will or not remember her and

983
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 4: possibly tossing out the will. There's also the strong possibility

984
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 4: that witnesses are gone or have moved and cannot be found,

985
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 4: putting the validity of the will in jeopardy. Witnesses to

986
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 4: signing wills are often employees in the lawyer's office who

987
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 4: don't know you and will have a difficult time testifying

988
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 4: in court that they remember you and your state of

989
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 4: mind when you signed a will. Opi responds, Yes, we

990
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 4: made sure she was well covered in this aspect because

991
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 4: we knew there was going to be issues down the road.

992
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 4: And to be honest with you, the house is in disarray.

993
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 4: It's falling apart around her. It needs to be razored.

994
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 4: It's the property that's worth real money. It's in a

995
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 4: prime location in Alaska. Opi on her mother and ma

996
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 4: charity animal rescue activists. Opie says she's an old farm

997
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 4: girl that just loves animals.

998
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 2: Right now, she has three husky pit bull.

999
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 4: Mixes about a dozen cats that she fosters and helps

1000
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 4: place into permanent homes. But we grew up with parrots, chickens, geese, ducks,

1001
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 4: pigs and occasional ago, lots of dogs, lots of cats

1002
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 4: and aquarium. She used to be one of the premier

1003
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 4: bird rescues, and we have helped foster and rehabilitate crows

1004
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 4: and eagles.

1005
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 2: Opie should get the locks.

1006
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 4: Changed for her mother for good measures, or whose siblings

1007
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 4: cannot get in. Opie says, you know, that's a good idea.

1008
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 4: It is time for her to get new locks on

1009
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 4: her doors. I'm gonna text my husband and see what

1010
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 4: he thinks, because he can just change them for her.

1011
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1012
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 4: Any chances that Opie's siblings were the Golden Children as

1013
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 4: of today, Opie says the youngest was definitely baby. She

1014
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,760
Speaker 4: was born after child loss, and she was a twin.

1015
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 4: Her twin passed away at birth. Comment or two says,

1016
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 4: these are the kind of people who will break into

1017
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 4: the property and steal any paperwork, looking for bank accounts

1018
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 4: and safety deposit boxes, and dump the closets and mattresses

1019
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 4: looking for hidden saves. Talk to your mom about distributing

1020
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 4: any personal gifts before she passes, like giving away jewelry

1021
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 4: she wants to go to specific grandchildren, et cetera as

1022
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 4: Christmas or graduation gifts. Resign yourself to this not ending well,

1023
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 4: and consider security cameras for your property too. Opie says this,

1024
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 4: I firmly believe that they would try to steal paperwork

1025
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,919
Speaker 4: if they could find it. Luckily, we had moved out

1026
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 4: her major paperwork after dad had passed.

1027
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:58,879
Speaker 2: It's in a safety deposit box.

1028
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 4: OPI's reason for the GoFundMe after her stepfather's passing was

1029
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 4: her mother destitute. Opie says, yes, she was his first wife,

1030
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 4: took almost everything she had, let his insurance expire. Big mistake,

1031
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 4: and she was behind on a reverse mortgage and was

1032
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 4: going to lose the house for less than twenty K.

1033
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 4: I tried to reason with the title company, but they

1034
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 4: wanted her home for the land. Her land alone is

1035
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 4: worth a pretty penny, probably close to a quarter million.

1036
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,560
Speaker 4: Sheesh I set up a gofund me to keep her

1037
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 4: in her home, and at the time I figured we'd

1038
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 4: sell everything later for her if she needed it to

1039
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 4: live on.

1040
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 2: But she is very active and still very sprite.

1041
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 4: Everyone who donated to the GoFundMe was other family and friends.

1042
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 4: One close family friend who had worked with my mom

1043
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:47,240
Speaker 4: for a decade put up ten k herself. I donated

1044
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 4: twenty five hundred. This was the easiest way to reach

1045
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 4: her family in the state. Update nearly three months later,

1046
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 4: here's my question.

1047
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,399
Speaker 5: Did those two other Golden kids Golden children, did they

1048
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 5: donate at all to the GoFundMe.

1049
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 2: The oldest and the youngest ue. Yeah, I doubt it.

1050
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 5: They probably don't.

1051
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: They didn't know about it. They didn't know about it.

1052
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 4: So many things have changed since my first post. My

1053
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 4: mom became very ill with vertigo edema and went into

1054
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 4: a fib. She spent three days in the hospital. They

1055
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 4: think there's an issue with her pacemaker, but she and

1056
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 4: her doctors also suspect her high blood pressure mets. She

1057
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 4: needs to go to a specialist and she'll head there tomorrow.

1058
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 4: During that time, the cat rescue that she was leaving

1059
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 4: her house in property to basically turned their back on

1060
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 4: her and didn't go in to help her with the

1061
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 4: animals that she was caring for. Animals that were dropped

1062
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 4: off by that rescue. She had to scramble to find

1063
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 4: outside help and pay for it when the rescue was

1064
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,799
Speaker 4: supposed to help her. Apparently the rescue had lost a

1065
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 4: large grant and they are now telling Fosters that they're

1066
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 4: on their own. My mom is feisty and that pissed

1067
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 4: her off, so she decided she's not leaving the property

1068
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 4: and house anymore. She has decided to make me executor

1069
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,839
Speaker 4: of the will with the stipulation that I will sell

1070
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 4: the property and divide the proceeds amongst her grandkids and

1071
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 4: great grandkids. I will follow her wishes to the letter.

1072
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 4: She has directed me not to tell any of them

1073
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 4: what she plans to let them still think that it

1074
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 4: is going to a rescue. As for all of you

1075
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 4: asking about her income, she lives remotely in Alaska. Her

1076
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 4: closest story is thirty five miles away one way. If

1077
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 4: she wants a Walmart, she has to drive seventy miles

1078
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,800
Speaker 4: one way. For electricity alone is six to eight hundred

1079
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 4: a month, plus groceries are outrageous. She also has a

1080
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 4: lot of animals. They keep her alive and happy. She

1081
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,720
Speaker 4: gives ten percent to her church and another ten percent

1082
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 4: to charities. She has to pay for car payments, auto insurance,

1083
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 4: house insurance, water bills, and gas for the truck. If

1084
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 4: there is anything left, she puts it on an account

1085
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 4: at the VET so she has a buffer in case

1086
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 4: one of her animals.

1087
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 2: Needs the vet.

1088
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 4: Some comments commenter one, if she's struggling for money, why

1089
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 4: the donations. Opie says her church replaced her French dress,

1090
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 4: replaced her hot water heater, and bought her a hospital bed,

1091
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:07,800
Speaker 4: so she firmly believes in tiths and for the other charity,

1092
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 4: it's animal rescues. She doesn't always give them money, but

1093
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 4: she does a lot. Comment or two says, you'll never

1094
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 4: convince them there wasn't a stash of money. If they

1095
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 4: can't find it while she's living, they'll accuse you of

1096
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 4: stealing it after she's gone. There is nothing that will

1097
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 4: tear apart of family faster than money.

1098
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 2: Moment's from best of Redditter's updates.

1099
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,840
Speaker 4: Comment to one, If someone paying off your house is

1100
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 4: financial control, then I really need someone to financially control me.

1101
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 2: That's it. That was that's the story.

1102
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 5: Your mom seems like a sweet, sweet lady. She loves

1103
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 5: to give and she's a very huge advocate for animals.

1104
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,919
Speaker 5: I really think she just needs to get her point

1105
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 5: across to these kids to just shut up, go away,

1106
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 5: stop it. You keep bringing it up. Where's the money,

1107
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:54,399
Speaker 5: where's the money? There is no money for you.

1108
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1109
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:57,320
Speaker 4: to the next one.

1110
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 5: Hey, it's keon your house with the cake. We're going

1111
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 5: to get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

1112
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 5: of ads from our sponsors. I confronted my sister in

1113
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 5: law firm embarrassing my husband and now she hates me.

1114
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 2: Why is she embarrassing him?

1115
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 5: My thirty four female husband thirties you male is the

1116
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 5: youngest in his family. We've been married for a little

1117
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 5: less than a year now, but I noticed his eldest sister,

1118
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:22,919
Speaker 5: thirty seven female, is super difficult and controlling. By the way,

1119
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 5: this comes from user who am I?

1120
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:25,839
Speaker 2: What is this?

1121
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 5: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1122
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 5: to the r slash Okay story time. Sobret it. I'm

1123
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 5: ke On, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily,

1124
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 5: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

1125
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 5: what we do, so let us know what you do

1126
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 5: in the comments. My husband has warned me about her

1127
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 5: let's call her Hilda, ever since we met, and he

1128
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 5: was even super nervous before he introduced me to her.

1129
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 5: I made sure to be super nice and courteous, and

1130
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 5: we hit it off, especially since we realize we know

1131
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 5: a lot of the same people from our similar field

1132
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 5: of work. Over time, I noticed Hilda's toxic behavior with

1133
00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 5: her siblings, especially with my husband, since he's extremely peaceful

1134
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,919
Speaker 5: and non confrontational, she would disrespect him a lot give

1135
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 5: unsolicited commands and even keep commenting about how much attention

1136
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 5: he gives me and how she thinks were super codependent

1137
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 5: and that he needs to give me less attention. L

1138
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 5: oh L, We are not codependent at all. We just

1139
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 5: really enjoy hanging out with each other and prefer doing

1140
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 5: things together. Yesterday, Hilda and her boyfriend were visiting. She

1141
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 5: lives in another country, and she wanted all of us

1142
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 5: to meet him for the first time. My husband was

1143
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 5: with them by himself for an hour or so, and

1144
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 5: while his brother, his wife, and I were on the

1145
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 5: way to meet them, my husband kept texting me saying

1146
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 5: he felt like a third wheel and they weren't really

1147
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 5: involving him in the conversation. We finally got there and

1148
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 5: met them, and while deciding where to have dinner, we

1149
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 5: quickly noticed how chaotic Hilda was acting, ordering us around

1150
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 5: to call restaurants and check for bookings, to go this

1151
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 5: way or that way, and to hurry up because it

1152
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 5: was late and we needed to eat. My husband, Hilda,

1153
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 5: her boyfriend, and I were sharing a car and my

1154
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 5: husband was driving to the restaurant. We were chatting and

1155
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 5: it was normal until Hilda decided to make fun of

1156
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 5: my husband and is slow driving and kept being super annoying,

1157
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,200
Speaker 5: telling him to hurry up and drive faster. She even

1158
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 5: kept interrupting her boyfriend when he was telling stories just

1159
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 5: to tell my husband to hurry up. Then, when the

1160
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 5: brother and his wife called to say they arrived and

1161
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 5: we still had fifteen minutes to get there, Hilda went

1162
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 5: full blown bully. She kept disrespecting my husband in front

1163
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 5: of her boyfriend, and my husband was trying his best

1164
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 5: to bite his tongue. It was so obvious that we

1165
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 5: all got uncomfortable, especially the boyfriend, who kept saying, it's okay,

1166
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 5: we're taking longer. We're enjoying the conversation.

1167
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 2: Are we are we?

1168
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 5: I think he's just trying to like.

1169
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:43,040
Speaker 2: I know, I get it, but like, who's enjoying it? What?

1170
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 5: The last straw for me was when we got to

1171
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 5: their area and it was crowded and my husband was

1172
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 5: trying to make a U turn to get to the restaurant.

1173
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 5: Hilda told him to stop so she and her boyfriend

1174
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 5: could get out and walk to the restaurant before we

1175
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 5: could go and find parking. But my husband couldn't stop

1176
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 5: because there were cars moving all around. Hilda then threw

1177
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 5: tantrum and kept burrating my husband for not being able

1178
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 5: to stop on the spot when she wanted him to.

1179
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 5: It ruined the whole mood. Eventually, my husband stopped a

1180
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 5: little further down the road and they stepped out. I

1181
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 5: was so upset and almost tearful walking into the restaurant,

1182
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 5: and my husband kept calming me down, saying it doesn't

1183
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 5: matter and he doesn't care what she says. I told

1184
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 5: him she ruined our mood by being disrespectful, and I'm

1185
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,839
Speaker 5: not going to mask being happy so she can have

1186
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 5: a fun night. We sat at the table and we

1187
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 5: were obviously in a bad mood. He'lda turned to my

1188
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 5: husband and said, are you guys okay? And he said,

1189
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 5: we're just tired and hungry. She noticed how I wasn't

1190
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 5: engaging in the conversation at all, and she turned to

1191
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 5: my husband again and said, if you guys don't want

1192
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 5: to be here, no one is forcing you, you can leave.

1193
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 5: We came here to have a good time. I turned

1194
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,880
Speaker 5: to her and said, what did you say to my husband?

1195
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:48,880
Speaker 5: And she said I was telling him how if you

1196
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 5: guys don't want to be here, I don't want to

1197
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 5: force you. You can leave. I said personally, yes, I

1198
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 5: don't want to be here and I will leave. My

1199
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 5: husband then said to the group, okay, guys were hitting out.

1200
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 5: Enjoy the rest of dinner. It was a pleasure meeting you, boyfriend,

1201
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 5: and we walked out. I would look at the boyfriend

1202
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 5: like you hungry, you'd go with us?

1203
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 2: No, get out of there.

1204
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 5: My husband agrees with me that she was out of line,

1205
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 5: but he hates being in any kind of conflict and

1206
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 5: is stressed about the situation. I feel like setting boundaries

1207
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 5: is very important, even if it means having to be

1208
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 5: in a fight or whatever. Was I the a hole

1209
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 5: for instigating walking out and causing a rift between my

1210
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 5: husband and his sister and making her look bad in

1211
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 5: front of her boyfriend? And there is an update. I

1212
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 5: don't think you're an any hole. I think you were

1213
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 5: just responding to every question of hers.

1214
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 2: She was giving you sass. She said, if you don't

1215
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 2: want to be here, just leave, and he said, okay, fine.

1216
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:38,879
Speaker 5: You didn't ruin anything. If anything, she.

1217
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:42,760
Speaker 2: Ruined terrible after you left for them.

1218
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 5: You were nice enough to take your night off to

1219
00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:48,479
Speaker 5: meet her, meet up with her and her boyfriend, try,

1220
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 5: you know, to look good try and impress the boyfriend

1221
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 5: at least get.

1222
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 2: To know him. I wouldn't be shocked if they break up.

1223
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 5: They wouldn't be shocked if she doesn't blame OPI and

1224
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 5: her husband like you guys ruined it for me.

1225
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:00,240
Speaker 4: Guy's embarrassed were she would.

1226
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 5: No, OPI, You're not the a whole of anything. Good

1227
00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 5: job for standing up for yourself and not letting it

1228
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 5: just slide on by. Everyone told me that I had

1229
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,960
Speaker 5: the right to walk out and she was being extremely rude,

1230
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 5: which made me feel sane because sometimes I feel like

1231
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 5: I'm the crazy one with my reactions to very obvious

1232
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,959
Speaker 5: instances of disrespect that the whole family seems to brush off.

1233
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 5: After the incident, I talked to my husband and told

1234
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 5: him that I will not tolerate disrespect from Hilda and

1235
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 5: what she did was extremely out of line. I also

1236
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 5: told him that is it extremely upsetting when she disrespects him,

1237
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,520
Speaker 5: and while I understand his stance on being the bigger person,

1238
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 5: a line needs to be drawn with Hilda. He agreed

1239
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 5: and said he would talk to her the next day.

1240
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 5: They had a day plan with the boyfriends, which I

1241
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 5: thankfully apologized for. Before this whole thing happened. My husband's brother, Jacob,

1242
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,760
Speaker 5: called him before the outing and we all discussed what happened.

1243
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 5: Jacob tried to explain how Hilda doesn't have bad intentions, etc.

1244
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 5: And I told him that I never said Hilda was malicious.

1245
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 5: I just think as adults, when someone is disrespectful, the

1246
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,919
Speaker 5: bare minimum is to acknowledge and apologize. After a long

1247
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 5: back and forth, they agreed that Jacob would ask Kilda

1248
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 5: to have a conversation about what happened with Jacob present

1249
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 5: before going to their thing, and I told them I

1250
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:11,440
Speaker 5: don't think I should be a part of this conversation

1251
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,800
Speaker 5: because I'm not part of the family and I personally

1252
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 5: wouldn't want to initiate the conversation with her. When I

1253
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 5: saw my husband after he told me, the conversation went

1254
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 5: very well and she was super receptive and empathetic. She

1255
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 5: apologized to my husband and she told him she was

1256
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 5: very worried that I judged her negatility based on this incident.

1257
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 5: My husband told her that she could talk to me

1258
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:33,840
Speaker 5: about it and that I am a very understanding and

1259
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 5: empathetic person and I will hear her out. I was

1260
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 5: happy for my husband, but very skeptical honestly speaking, and

1261
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 5: knowing how self absorbed people think. She only apologized to

1262
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 5: my husband and acted understanding because she didn't want me

1263
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 5: to judge her further. Girl, she's already been judged. Yeah

1264
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 5: too late for that, Yeah, you've been judged. Anyways. I

1265
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,080
Speaker 5: told my husband, of course, she can talk to me anytime.

1266
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 5: I waited and waited, and she never reached out. Lol.

1267
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 5: My husband hinted at me initiating, and I freaked out

1268
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:07,440
Speaker 5: on him, telling him, in what world does it make

1269
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 5: sense for me to initiate this talk. If she has

1270
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 5: a pride problem, then it's her problem. Fast forward to yesterday,

1271
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 5: which was her last day. After a long day at

1272
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 5: work where I finished at seven thirty pm, my husband

1273
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 5: told me they were having a family dinner at their

1274
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 5: parents at eight pm to say goodbye to Hilda. I

1275
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 5: told him that I didn't have the mental capacity for

1276
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 5: that right now, especially knowing that there might be a

1277
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 5: back and forth with Hilda and not knowing how she

1278
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 5: planned to bring it up or how she would deal

1279
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 5: with it considering her pride issue. I texted in the

1280
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 5: family group that I apologize for not being able to

1281
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 5: make it today and wish Hilda safe travels. My husband

1282
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,919
Speaker 5: went without me, and apparently Hilda brought up the fact

1283
00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 5: that I didn't come and they all had a talk

1284
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 5: about it. This is where I'm afraid. This is where

1285
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 5: I'm afraid. Where Op's hobby is gonna be.

1286
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 4: You gotta step up a little bit right now.

1287
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 2: Talk for two days.

1288
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's hear as I suspected. Hilda is now saying

1289
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 5: that she doesn't think she was rude to me at all,

1290
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 5: and she has no reason to apologize to me. My

1291
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,920
Speaker 5: husband told her that she was in fact rude and

1292
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 5: that she does need to apologize. Hilda suddenly twisted the

1293
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 5: narrative and talked about how since the day she met me,

1294
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 5: she's been trying to build a relationship with me, but

1295
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 5: I don't reciprocate.

1296
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:20,440
Speaker 4: I mean, we don't have Hilda's side of things. Maybe

1297
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 4: she does actually feel that way to me. It feels

1298
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 4: like a tactic just to not have to apologize.

1299
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 5: It's a tactic, but it's definitely just a show face,

1300
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 5: like like oh anything, Yeah, I didn't trying to build

1301
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 5: a relationship with her.

1302
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 2: But it's like, okay, we'll be nicer to her then, but.

1303
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 5: Let's go ahead and finish up the story. I have

1304
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:38,840
Speaker 5: no idea what she's talking about here, since I'm the

1305
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 5: one who pushes my husband to give her attention, and

1306
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 5: I'm the one who pushed that instead of getting her

1307
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 5: generic flowers for her birthday this year, we should pitch

1308
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 5: in and get her a personal antique item that she

1309
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 5: would enjoy. Besides, this argument has nothing to do with

1310
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 5: the main issue anyways, long story short, I know I've

1311
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 5: been petty with not initiating and not going to the dinner,

1312
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 5: but I think it's a matter of principle. Also, I

1313
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 5: told my husband that if she doesn't want to reach

1314
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 5: out and talk, then that's something she's deciding and I

1315
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 5: won't try and solve this issue for her. Am I

1316
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 5: the a hole?

1317
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:10,440
Speaker 2: Not at all.

1318
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 5: No, She's just one of those people I really hope.

1319
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 5: First off, I don't even know where she's going. But

1320
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 5: like bye, she lives in a different country.

1321
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 3: That's what it is.

1322
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 5: She lives in a different country, tutulou, So.

1323
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,200
Speaker 2: At least you don't have to deal with her that often.

1324
01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 5: Like I don't want to see an understanding how everyone

1325
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 5: sees her, because if she only bullies your husband, op.

1326
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 5: This needs to be brought up. But the thing is,

1327
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,480
Speaker 5: this needs to be brought up from your husband, Like, hey,

1328
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 5: does anyone see Like yeah, the husband's like, yeesh, she sucks,

1329
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:36,440
Speaker 5: but like, does she bully everybody else?

1330
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 2: Right? Is it just that the husband and you? It's

1331
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 2: a weird situation.

1332
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:44,280
Speaker 5: So she I mean this, This girl definitely likes to

1333
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 5: twist her words and save face and look like she's,

1334
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 5: you know, great in all. But as long as you

1335
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 5: don't need to, you don't need to deal with her

1336
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 5: great

1337
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story.