Speaker 1: Welcome to Bill and Juliana the podcast.
Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome to the Bill and Juliana Podcast. So
Speaker 2: it's been a little bit of a nutty couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: I relived my past from twenty two years ago. And
Speaker 2: I don't want to go into it a lot because
Speaker 2: like we've already gone into it so much.
Speaker 1: Well, I've had to relive your past.
Speaker 2: Yes, you've been good about it if you didn't tune
Speaker 2: into our last two episodes. Basically, I brought up the
Speaker 2: story of how twenty two years ago my ex cheated
Speaker 2: on me and it's.
Speaker 3: A long story. You guys just have to go listen.
Speaker 1: To this podcast.
Speaker 2: Yes, what we thought is this week we would do
Speaker 2: an episode on cheating red flags. And the reason we're
Speaker 2: bringing this up is because we've kind of become relationship
Speaker 2: experts since last week, good.
Speaker 1: That look at you.
Speaker 4: We've gotten a lot of comments on social media, and
Speaker 4: everyone is an expert in relationships. We are learning a lot,
Speaker 4: not from my personal experiences, but from all the wonderful
Speaker 4: comments that people.
Speaker 2: Yes, now we don't like just so you know, we
Speaker 2: don't have like a PhD in psychology or a BA
Speaker 2: or a BS maybe a BS but we don't.
Speaker 4: Yes, we're very lucky. We have an amazing panel. Yes,
Speaker 4: we do some of Chicago's finest, the world's final. Yes,
Speaker 4: and the world's finest for that matter. And we have
Speaker 4: a second time guest, Kate M. So thank you Kate
Speaker 4: M for coming on this.
Speaker 2: Yes, Kate on you guys might recall from the last
Speaker 2: podcast is part of the Witness Production program. So we
Speaker 2: just say, called her Kate M. And then we have
Speaker 2: someone else from the Witness Production program here, Brad, who.
Speaker 3: We just called Brad no last name.
Speaker 1: I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2: Are you okay, Brad no last name, no even initial
Speaker 2: in the last name.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Then we have someone who we are Yes, we we
Speaker 2: are totally open to talk about Stephen Galanis, who is,
Speaker 2: of course the founder, president head of Cameo. You created Cameo, right,
Speaker 2: I did so Cameo if you guys don't know, is amazing.
Speaker 2: It's like when people send video messages to their friends.
Speaker 2: And you know, Stephen, we've talked about that.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 3: We remember we were going to do it.
Speaker 1: Cami request last week for some woman's sixtieth birthday?
Speaker 3: Did you do it?
Speaker 1: I forgot? And then expired, so I have to I
Speaker 1: got to do more on cameos.
Speaker 5: We even money on the table.
Speaker 1: I know, no, it was It's a shameful.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Stephen would be very upset with me. He's looking down like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing?
Speaker 3: Stephen?
Speaker 2: I was actually thinking, I've never done one, but I
Speaker 2: want to do one. But can I donate it all
Speaker 2: to animal Rescue?
Speaker 5: Yes? Okay, and you hit the rid off.
Speaker 3: Oh there we go. Okay, I'm doing it exactly. Part
Speaker 3: two of this is Taxes Red Flags.
Speaker 2: And then we also have Janet Mandel back with us
Speaker 2: on the podcast.
Speaker 6: I thank you for having me again.
Speaker 2: So Janet, of course is stylis fashion easter extraordinary. Who
Speaker 2: started this incredible business called the Janet Mendel Showroom or
Speaker 2: Jane Mendel, And she has these incredible showrooms around the
Speaker 2: country and she does very very high end lung.
Speaker 1: Worry called missus Worldwide Luxury Fashion.
Speaker 6: Lee mind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you want to borrow a tom Ford dress
Speaker 2: and not buy a tom Ford dress, you go to
Speaker 2: Janet Mendel.
Speaker 6: Hi, Jane, Hi, Juliana, Hi, Bill Hi. Everybody.
Speaker 1: Let's dig right, let's die in. Okay.
Speaker 2: So here's the deal. The reason we thought this would
Speaker 2: be a good episode. This is really organically how it happened.
Speaker 2: So we had taped our podcast last week and then
Speaker 2: we went back to the office and I was sitting
Speaker 2: with Breonna and Ava, and I was saying, gosh, you know,
Speaker 2: we're just talking about the whole thing. And I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, thinking back to twenty two years ago, there
Speaker 2: were red flags. Because they asked me like, were there
Speaker 2: any red flags? And I never really thought of that.
Speaker 2: So one thing I remembered is that you guys are
Speaker 2: going to die. In a lot of our email correspondence,
Speaker 2: we would have these like lovey, gushy emails and then
Speaker 2: at the very end, my ex would write, PS, please
Speaker 2: don't ever cheat on me.
Speaker 3: Let's not ruin this. Nothing was wrong with the relationship.
Speaker 4: I can I stop for a second. So this X
Speaker 4: cheated on her one we're not saying who that is.
Speaker 4: And then she took him back, you know, and then
Speaker 4: during this rekindling of the relationship, she brings him to
Speaker 4: the Hot Maximum one hundred party. That's like releasing a
Speaker 4: wolf into a hen of chickens.
Speaker 2: Yes. Yes, When Bill said that I had this aha
Speaker 2: moment on the podcast last week, I was like, wow,
Speaker 2: Bill is like very smart, he's quite a relationship accent.
Speaker 1: I think you're overselling me.
Speaker 2: Okay, there were definitely red flags. There were definitely things
Speaker 2: I could have done differently. I was so confident in
Speaker 2: our relationship on my half, like I would never cheat
Speaker 2: on him, that I was confident, like I didn't care
Speaker 2: that I was bringing him to a hot one hundred
Speaker 2: party or that again. And then when I saw him
Speaker 2: sign off, PS, don't cheat on me. I love you
Speaker 2: so much, let's not ruin this, I honestly thought, Oh, he.
Speaker 7: Thinks you're and you're reading it as he thinks you're
Speaker 7: too good for him, and like, please don't leave me
Speaker 7: because I can't get do any better ever than you.
Speaker 2: Yes, or I honestly, brit I was honestly thinking, Oh,
Speaker 2: that's so sweet.
Speaker 3: Like he wants to make sure we never ruin this,
Speaker 3: and like we're both never going to cheat on each other.
Speaker 2: But what I honestly saw was, oh, he's so happy
Speaker 2: in our relationship. He doesn't want us to ruin it.
Speaker 2: But really, now I look back, I go, oh my god.
Speaker 2: He was totally projecting. That was him knowing he was
Speaker 2: capable of it. But I never even thought for a
Speaker 2: second because I was incapable of it. I never cheated
Speaker 2: on him, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Does that make sense? Steven?
Speaker 5: I think he you guys got it.
Speaker 8: Sounds like he was projecting there or or you know,
Speaker 8: maybe giving a little clue what was going to happen?
Speaker 2: Oh, which is projecting foreshadowing?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: And then Janet, what do you think?
Speaker 6: Number one? Are men that no offense to men here?
Speaker 6: But are they that detail oriented where they would think, yes,
Speaker 6: I'm going to do this because I know that she
Speaker 6: you know, she won't cheat on me if I tell
Speaker 6: her not to cheat on me. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: It was strategic?
Speaker 6: But yet was are they that strategic? But again, I
Speaker 6: don't know. It depends on his mood. I guess at that.
Speaker 3: Point, I think he was projecting.
Speaker 9: I think he was probably projecting or just very insecure
Speaker 9: and insecure people end up cheating.
Speaker 3: So yeah, good point.
Speaker 8: I also think it's funny going back to that time
Speaker 8: that it was like emails, right, and how different like
Speaker 8: the email like long distance relationship is versus the texting one.
Speaker 5: That's so true. It's definitely not putting that in a
Speaker 5: text message.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're right, and we weren't really texting back then
Speaker 2: because back then, this is the early two thousands. Remember
Speaker 2: you had to like write, you had to click a
Speaker 2: three times.
Speaker 1: Everything was short.
Speaker 3: Went back, everything was short.
Speaker 2: And we had razors, the motoral eraser and the T
Speaker 2: mobile sidekick.
Speaker 3: It took a lot, you know, you did. You had
Speaker 3: like a purple one.
Speaker 1: I got it for free. He took them back in
Speaker 1: the day when people would send me things for free.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so and then it's so funny because when
Speaker 2: I went back to our emails, like I had a
Speaker 2: Yahoo account, he had an Aol account, and so like
Speaker 2: that was you know, we just emailed and spoke on
Speaker 2: the phone. But it was a lot of that. So
Speaker 2: what are some other cheating red flags? So first of all,
Speaker 2: to start with this, have have you guys ever been
Speaker 2: cheated on?
Speaker 3: Anyone ever been cheated on?
Speaker 2: Bill?
Speaker 3: Have you been cheated on?
Speaker 4: Not to my record, I mean perhaps not that I
Speaker 4: caught anyone red handed, you know, with paparazzi walking hand
Speaker 4: in hand together, okay for an event, so not that glaring.
Speaker 3: What are you trying to wait? Did you just bring
Speaker 3: it back to what happened to me? I forgot I
Speaker 3: was like, who would do that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, not to my record, but I'm sure someone
Speaker 4: on our illustrious panel here has been cheating on Steven.
Speaker 8: In my early twenties, I had a girlfriend that I
Speaker 8: caught cheating that.
Speaker 1: How did you catch her?
Speaker 5: So she was she was.
Speaker 8: In college still, I was maybe a couple of years
Speaker 8: out trading, and she a couple of nights a week.
Speaker 8: All of a sudden, she started having Zuma lessons, like
Speaker 8: to be like a zumba the dance whatever.
Speaker 5: The dance thing.
Speaker 8: This would have been like twenty twelve, sometime in that era.
Speaker 8: Zooma was hoppy and it was like a hot thing
Speaker 8: and it was just as like and she was having
Speaker 8: to go like seven am. So she'd like she'd be like, hey,
Speaker 8: I can't like stay over tonight because I've got this
Speaker 8: like zoomba thing.
Speaker 5: And she was like do you want to come? And
Speaker 5: I was like, no, I don't want to go.
Speaker 3: Janet Mendel, I have a good one.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine I have a good one.
Speaker 6: So I was dating this Sky it was like, you know,
Speaker 6: we were getting serious towards the end, like six seven
Speaker 6: months later. So he's like, you know, I don't like
Speaker 6: to share my bathroom, So do you mind using the
Speaker 6: guest bathroom? I'm like sure. So I'm in the bathroom
Speaker 6: getting ready. I opened a drawer and there's like a
Speaker 6: tampon in one of the drawers, and I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 6: I'm thinking, okay, maybe that's from his previous girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 6: Men don't usually like clean the guest bathrooms, right, they
Speaker 6: don't pay attention. So months go by and I'm like,
Speaker 6: you know, I don't feel you know, we have our
Speaker 6: intuition women, and I'm like, I'm not feeling really settled
Speaker 6: with this tampon in the drawer. No expiration.
Speaker 1: Left it?
Speaker 2: In the.
Speaker 6: Of course, because being strategic.
Speaker 3: Did you say no expiration date?
Speaker 6: I was thinking, like, was there like a package in
Speaker 6: a box?
Speaker 3: You're like looking for this.
Speaker 6: And I'm like was it open? Disgusting? But anyways, he's
Speaker 6: just like one tampon in there. I'm looking for like
Speaker 6: boxes and stuff.
Speaker 1: Right, how many times can we say Tampa.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, guys. So I'm apologetic.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: So, like about two months go by and he invites
Speaker 6: me to a softball game and I'm like, okay, So
Speaker 6: I go to a softball game. He's playing. We had fun,
Speaker 6: blah blah blah. And I've noticed that he plays two
Speaker 6: two times a week, right and Thursday he didn't invite me,
Speaker 6: and I'm like hmmm, and I didn't ask him. So
Speaker 6: this is like two weeks of me going to his
Speaker 6: game consistently, but one Thursday he decides not to invite
Speaker 6: me and I didn't even ask him. So crazy me
Speaker 6: drives by the park and there he is with another
Speaker 6: girl and she's at the game. But it wasn't me.
Speaker 3: Did this this the same tampon brand fall out of
Speaker 3: her back?
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 6: I was actually going to get out of my car
Speaker 6: and go up to her and be like, did you
Speaker 6: leave a tampon at the drawer of But I didn't.
Speaker 6: So I was so upset because I was like, he lied.
Speaker 6: He told me he wasn't dating anybody else, Like in
Speaker 6: my face, I to die, And so I was upset
Speaker 6: and I stopped calling him. I was like, we're done,
Speaker 6: and then you.
Speaker 1: Know, wow, you didn't get out of the car and
Speaker 1: storm the game.
Speaker 6: I was going to trust me, I was. I was
Speaker 6: fired up and I was so angry because I made
Speaker 6: like this guy. But I'm like, damn.
Speaker 8: It, how did you know what the relationship dynamic was there.
Speaker 6: Well, she was standing there, he would you know, he
Speaker 6: would pitch or hit, he would come back to her
Speaker 6: and you know, he would like put his arms around her.
Speaker 6: It was like totally I was being that crazy girl like,
Speaker 6: oh my god, is he going to make the move?
Speaker 6: Is she going to do something? Are they going to kiss?
Speaker 6: Because I need evidence. You were hiding in the bushes,
Speaker 6: literally in the car.
Speaker 5: Did they kiss? Did you see them kissing?
Speaker 6: No, they didn't kiss, but he had his arms around her,
Speaker 6: yeah enough to know.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And then I'm like, I need to know what car
Speaker 6: she's in because next I'm going to drive by his
Speaker 6: house and see if her car's parked in front. You know,
Speaker 6: my mind was going like a little.
Speaker 5: Crazy detective mode.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I lowly detective.
Speaker 2: I love detective mode. I've been there, done that one
Speaker 2: hundred times.
Speaker 6: It's fun at the same time as well as you
Speaker 6: know Sad.
Speaker 2: And then Janet, well Janet, Janet is quite the relationship
Speaker 2: expert because you know, do you guys know her story?
Speaker 3: Janet? You got to tell them the story.
Speaker 6: So I do you remember that guy that was here earlier,
Speaker 6: the blonde? So he's my ex husband, but we're now
Speaker 6: boyfriend and girlfriend. And so we were married for like
Speaker 6: eighteen years, filed for divorce. Within three months we were divorced,
Speaker 6: and then about a month and a half later we
Speaker 6: got back together. That's crazy, but you know, I never
Speaker 6: left my house, Like in the in the divorce settlement,
Speaker 6: it says I'm allowed to live there for a year
Speaker 6: and a half. So that was a divorce settlement. She
Speaker 6: gets to live there for a year and a half,
Speaker 6: run free, blah blah blah, blah blah. Mostly for my kids.
Speaker 6: I wanted to make sure that they were acclimated with
Speaker 6: the transition. So we never left. And then the reason
Speaker 6: we got back together was because I was jealous that
Speaker 6: he was dating some other girl.
Speaker 1: Like.
Speaker 6: In front of me, talking to her, text messaging her.
Speaker 6: You know, he's like, we're divorced. I'm like, uh huh,
Speaker 6: And here's me, like, never went on one day, never
Speaker 6: even had sex with anybody, and here's I know it's
Speaker 6: my fault, but I was like, I wasn't ready mentally
Speaker 6: right here he is gallivanting with you know other yeah,
Speaker 6: whatever they were, and I got jealous.
Speaker 5: And you bring them home to the house, living a
Speaker 5: great questions.
Speaker 2: Yes, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 5: Question.
Speaker 6: You're asking if he no, Well that to my knowledge,
Speaker 6: I don't think so. But we were only broken up
Speaker 6: for like what almost five months, right, So I mean
Speaker 6: I don't think so. That's my cause. No, the cheating
Speaker 6: didn't cause the divorce. I think the dynamic of being
Speaker 6: in business together caused us to separate, and menopause. I
Speaker 6: was fully on menopause with I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 6: gonna need to bring.
Speaker 3: Up so much was in your tampon?
Speaker 6: I mean, there is correlations.
Speaker 1: I just hit the pool. Sorry, So then you get
Speaker 1: remarried to him?
Speaker 6: Now, hell no, I'm never getting married. I'm never getting
Speaker 6: remarried to him or anyone else?
Speaker 8: Are you?
Speaker 5: Are you?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 6: There, we're still business partners and.
Speaker 5: Everything.
Speaker 6: I mean, I think things got better after we decided
Speaker 6: there was no strings attached. Like we have the best
Speaker 6: communication now, which we didn't have before. We are best friends.
Speaker 6: We were always best friends. Sex was always great. It's
Speaker 6: got better, and we do a lot of things together now.
Speaker 6: You know, before we are like okay, I'm going to
Speaker 6: work by okay, see you later.
Speaker 2: You go down a lot of like they'll go. They
Speaker 2: live in the suburbs. Now they move from the city
Speaker 2: to the suburbs. But you'll do a weekend in the city.
Speaker 2: It'll stay like live an insula, you like, you hang
Speaker 2: out all weekend and it's so cute.
Speaker 3: You just hang out in your robes.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I support him, like he's he loves music,
Speaker 6: he's in a band, So I support him. And I
Speaker 6: think that's what was missing, is that he felt that
Speaker 6: I wasn't supportive of him. It was always about the business,
Speaker 6: and you know, the business is always it's my name
Speaker 6: on the business. So he's always felt like he was
Speaker 6: sort of left.
Speaker 4: Oh second fiddle metaplause to which enhanced the you know
Speaker 4: where you're just you know what's interesting?
Speaker 6: I took What does that mean?
Speaker 1: I'm just asking a simple quick what are you asking? Really?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 6: Sorry, no, I think I think I learned a lot
Speaker 6: from that divorce and how to deal with my emotions
Speaker 6: and when things get red hot. Now I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 6: take a deep breath, boundaries, you're not comfortable, just leave
Speaker 6: the room and it works.
Speaker 3: But Janet, are you guys exclusive to each other?
Speaker 10: Yes?
Speaker 6: We are exclusive to each Okay, Okay, we don't date
Speaker 6: other people.
Speaker 1: Isn't that That's great. I'm glad it worked out for
Speaker 1: you guys a family.
Speaker 6: I know it's not normal and we're just not normal
Speaker 6: people in general, so it works for us. But people laugh,
Speaker 6: they're like, wait, what, you're still back with your Wait?
Speaker 6: What is I don't.
Speaker 3: Understand you're dating your exit?
Speaker 6: Like, are you guys remarried? I'm like no, They're like,
Speaker 6: what how are your kids with that?
Speaker 2: I'm like, fine, that's so interesting, isn't it. Let me
Speaker 2: ask you guys this, what are some signs?
Speaker 3: For instance?
Speaker 2: Okay, so my ex woyfriend saying hey, don't cheat, that
Speaker 2: was projecting.
Speaker 7: I think the biggest sign of starting fights because you're
Speaker 7: starting a fight with the girl because you're cheating on her.
Speaker 7: Out you're cheating on her, and you start a fight
Speaker 7: so that you can tell yourself, oh, she's a bit
Speaker 7: like look at her, like that's fine, she's just as bad,
Speaker 7: and go and do your own thing on the side
Speaker 7: you're right, and just justify it in your own head
Speaker 7: by making her seem more difficult than she probably is.
Speaker 3: That's a good one.
Speaker 4: I think I mad not because I was cheating, because
Speaker 4: I wanted to end a relationship it's like an easy out.
Speaker 1: So that's actually a really good point.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, Stephen, do can you think of any.
Speaker 1: I've got one.
Speaker 4: So I did the girl, and I noticed that romantically,
Speaker 4: like things were changing and like there was more god,
Speaker 4: how do I say this?
Speaker 1: Words clean?
Speaker 4: But like there was some new tricks in them, like
Speaker 4: this is unusual. Like so a ninety nine point nine
Speaker 4: percent sure that those tricks were being learned outside of
Speaker 4: my arena.
Speaker 1: Like, oh there were some moves. Yeah, someone was someone
Speaker 1: was giving her a college education, you know.
Speaker 2: She suddenly showed up with new moves like yeah, I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, this this is very unusual.
Speaker 4: So like I thought, Okay, hindsight I look back, I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh god, yeah no, now it makes sense.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that is so scandalous.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: What's her name?
Speaker 1: I can't I said that he was a public figure.
Speaker 1: I don't want to bring anyone into this.
Speaker 3: We know she wasn't a public figure.
Speaker 5: Or a bill.
Speaker 3: Can I be on it? Can I play Devil's advocate though?
Speaker 2: Or she was reading a book or watching videos or
Speaker 2: something like, oh, bring tricks to the bedroom to your
Speaker 2: guy happy research.
Speaker 4: Yeah no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Now there were
Speaker 4: other factors that when I look back, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, oh duh, Like now it's making sense.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Okay, what do you think is worse to you, guys,
Speaker 2: physical cheating or an emotional affair?
Speaker 1: Define an emotional affair.
Speaker 3: I've never had an emotional affair. I really haven't. I
Speaker 3: don't have like a emotion neither.
Speaker 2: So not physical like you never make out or anything,
Speaker 2: but like you guys are opening up to each other
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh my god, I talked to you
Speaker 2: like I can't talk to my husband this way, Like
Speaker 2: you're so amazing you make me feel a certain way.
Speaker 2: Or just meeting someone on an airplane, you know, hey,
Speaker 2: I have like a few hours before my meeting, let's
Speaker 2: hook up.
Speaker 1: Well that's cheating, yes, physical cheating.
Speaker 3: So which one would be worse?
Speaker 2: A physical cheating like Wambam done, or like an ongoing
Speaker 2: emotional affair I've had.
Speaker 8: I've had two situations in my life where they were
Speaker 8: bacherette parties. One was they were in Chicago, another one
Speaker 8: was bacherette party in Miami.
Speaker 5: Ended up kind of.
Speaker 8: With my group of friends at a table, et cetera,
Speaker 8: where the bride this happened where the bride actually like
Speaker 8: came out and was like I don't really want to
Speaker 8: do this.
Speaker 5: And then like after like long nuted talking, I had won.
Speaker 8: That was like I think you're my soulmate, like crazy
Speaker 8: crazy crazy what yeah?
Speaker 1: Whoa? And what was there any any physical contact.
Speaker 5: One of them? Yes, the other one now because I
Speaker 5: learned my lesson from the first.
Speaker 3: Wait, this happened twice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the bride came to.
Speaker 5: You different different different brides, like unbelievable.
Speaker 8: First one was wait, like similar to twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
Speaker 8: Area Social twenty five. They were, you know, big table there,
Speaker 8: big bachelrette party, comes have a really fun night. And
Speaker 8: that one the bride like left. I think she left
Speaker 8: her shoes or something. So she had like come back
Speaker 8: the next day up to my house and was like
Speaker 8: so the maid of honor. All of them were like
Speaker 8: where the hell did she go?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 8: And she had to like go come back the next
Speaker 8: morning and she like told me, She's like, you are
Speaker 8: the love of my life.
Speaker 5: I just met this person, right.
Speaker 1: And then she said I had.
Speaker 8: I had a second similar type of situation in Miami,
Speaker 8: but I'd left, I'd learned my lesson for the first
Speaker 8: time and just didn't let that go anywhere.
Speaker 10: Wow.
Speaker 8: But but those bachel parties, I'll tell you what, Like
Speaker 8: things get out of hand. Things get out of hand.
Speaker 9: Will you allow your fiance one day to go on
Speaker 9: a bachelor party?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 8: I think you have to be able to trust the
Speaker 8: person that you're with. Like, I'm not a I'm like
Speaker 8: a full trust person. I don't I don't have any
Speaker 8: issues with that. But there are people like if they're
Speaker 8: really really unhappy. And in both these cases, it was
Speaker 8: like they were supposed to get married to these people.
Speaker 8: I think one of them ended up calling off the wedding,
Speaker 8: which was good, but the other one he like went
Speaker 8: through it and is like married with kids. But like
Speaker 8: it was there was a lot of pressure because all
Speaker 8: her friends were there and like they were just like
Speaker 8: too far down the pipe and she just decided to
Speaker 8: go through with it.
Speaker 3: Anyways, Wow, are they still together?
Speaker 8: I mean, I like, I haven't talked to I haven't
Speaker 8: talked like ten to fifteen years. There's a long time ago.
Speaker 8: But I remember seeing that she was married, she had kids.
Speaker 8: Like this is Facebook era, right, Oh my.
Speaker 3: God, wow, Facebook era, I'm dead. Wow, that's Wild.
Speaker 1: Anyone else have an opinion on which is worse. I
Speaker 1: think physical cheating is always worse. It's worse.
Speaker 8: I think emotional is worse actually for a variety of
Speaker 8: reasons because a lot of times, I think it's that,
Speaker 8: you know, it's that feeling that your partner can't give
Speaker 8: you what you know, what you want, and that trust
Speaker 8: and that it's like they're the person they're going to
Speaker 8: instead of it. And I've seen this happen, like in
Speaker 8: work situations where you know someone's got their like work
Speaker 8: what like their work wife or their work husband, and
Speaker 8: they're going to them, you know, over everything, and that
Speaker 8: eventually either materializes or not. But I think that's I
Speaker 8: personally think that's worse because it's like more ongoing, it's
Speaker 8: a slow burn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, would you cigar in our cigar talk here.
Speaker 2: Is hiding texts cheating or depends on what's in the texts? Well,
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, if nothing physical has happened, but
Speaker 2: you don't want your significant other to see you texting
Speaker 2: with someone, so you're like hiding the text or deleting them,
Speaker 2: is that cheating?
Speaker 4: We knew a guy and I won't mention names, but
Speaker 4: he left his phone on the counter, someone that we
Speaker 4: both know, and this cell phone was the cleanest one
Speaker 4: he would delete the text. There was not one deleted
Speaker 4: every text. It was clean, empty, like zero inbox. Like
Speaker 4: we're like, oh shit, like this is this doesn't seem
Speaker 4: normal to us.
Speaker 5: That and then if somebody like changes a name.
Speaker 8: Right, oh, interesting, that's actually that first story, Like that's
Speaker 8: how that's how I ended up catching that person because
Speaker 8: they started getting texts from like somebody that I knew,
Speaker 8: but like I checked the number was it? And they
Speaker 8: deleted like hundreds of text messages going back and oh
Speaker 8: and I think, like there's really no reason other than
Speaker 8: if you have a spam text like I've I personally
Speaker 8: I have as many text as anybody probably honest podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 8: like I've never deleted a text before, Like I just
Speaker 8: don't think there's any reason to go do that. Yeah,
Speaker 8: but you know, when you see people changing names or that,
Speaker 8: that's a big red flat to me at.
Speaker 4: Least, I would agree, Yeah, that seems very suspicious. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you're changing a name.
Speaker 2: Yeah that is How about flirting is flirting cheating? Would
Speaker 2: you guys consider flirting cheating?
Speaker 6: I think flirting is not cheating.
Speaker 1: I think Kate Kate has a different opinion of us.
Speaker 1: I saw you, Km, What do you think.
Speaker 9: I think, like being friendly is one thing, and like
Speaker 9: having conversations is one thing, but if you're consistently flirting
Speaker 9: with someone, that's a little weird.
Speaker 3: I agree that's weird.
Speaker 6: But don't you think some people have that flirtatious personality? Yeah,
Speaker 6: you know what I mean, Like they're harmless, they're just
Speaker 6: they want to engage with people.
Speaker 1: Or some people just like the attention. That's it.
Speaker 7: They're going to a party and they're married, and I've
Speaker 7: been to a lot of parties with like certain people's
Speaker 7: wives just like to go over to the other girls
Speaker 7: husbands and like flirt with them, and they like the
Speaker 7: attention for whatever reason.
Speaker 6: I think it's when you're touchy feely, right or like
Speaker 6: or like you're talking to them for the whole night
Speaker 6: instead of anybody else. That's a redflec.
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that's just much more of a personality trait.
Speaker 8: There's certain people that are like that all the time,
Speaker 8: and then there's other people where it's like if you
Speaker 8: have if you're like super introverted and all of a sudden,
Speaker 8: like you're spending the whole night in the corner with
Speaker 8: that other person that might be different than the person
Speaker 8: that's just kind of you know, there all the time
Speaker 8: doing the same thing.
Speaker 2: What about this, you guys, if your friend knew that
Speaker 2: your partner was cheating, would you want your friend to
Speaker 2: tell you?
Speaker 3: This kind of came up.
Speaker 2: One of my friends recently found out about possible infidelity
Speaker 2: with her sister. That you know, the brother in law
Speaker 2: and her sister, can we I can't tell you you
Speaker 2: don't know them, And so, yeah, one of my friends
Speaker 2: recently had this situation and we talked about it, and
Speaker 2: where she decided that she didn't want to tell the
Speaker 2: friend is because they have kids and she was a
Speaker 2: little nervous about just the long term effects of breaking
Speaker 2: up not only a relationship but.
Speaker 3: Of a family. So I thought that was kind of interesting.
Speaker 9: Yeah, that is interesting, especially if there's kids, because like
Speaker 9: maybe they she already does know about it.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 9: I think you should maybe allude to it a couple
Speaker 9: different ways and see if they their response.
Speaker 1: So let's role.
Speaker 4: Play hypothetically Brad and Janet are married. Okay, how would
Speaker 4: you how would you address Janet? Because this is a
Speaker 4: good this is good. Brad was cheating on Jane Janet.
Speaker 9: I saw Brad out the other night. He was very
Speaker 9: busy talking to some girls like things like that where
Speaker 9: you could kind of mate your reaction. If she like
Speaker 9: shut it right down, I would say, like, maybe this
Speaker 9: is something between them, they're working it out. She doesn't
Speaker 9: want to talk to other people about it, so.
Speaker 2: Kind of fuel it out a little bit alto it,
Speaker 2: but don't say anything until you.
Speaker 1: Feel it out.
Speaker 9: You know. If it was me, I'd be like, you know,
Speaker 9: what are you talking about? I need information and then
Speaker 9: you could get into it.
Speaker 3: I agree, because I think some people don't want to know.
Speaker 7: I mean I think most people don't want to know,
Speaker 7: especially if they have young kids at home or blow up.
Speaker 7: Most people don't want their lives to blow up overnight. Yeah,
Speaker 7: so you have to be very careful when bringing that up.
Speaker 7: And I would probably say only if it's one of
Speaker 7: your closest friends where you feel that comfort level.
Speaker 1: Would you potentially bring.
Speaker 7: It up someone that you sort of know when you
Speaker 7: see you sort of stay away?
Speaker 1: I would think.
Speaker 2: Would you ever maybe write an email? That's what I
Speaker 2: said to my friend. I said, maybe do you do
Speaker 2: like an anonymous letter or email. I mean, I don't
Speaker 2: know then you're not tied to it, you know.
Speaker 8: I think that's just like a very unfair thing because
Speaker 8: there might be like a good explanation for it. But
Speaker 8: I agree with you that I think the pecking order
Speaker 8: is like how close of a friend they are? Yeah,
Speaker 8: and also like which of the people in the relationship
Speaker 8: are you better friends with? I think makes a big
Speaker 8: difference on those because the truth is too like you'd
Speaker 8: never know what type of what's going on in somebody
Speaker 8: else's bedroom. You don't know what the relationship dynamics are. Yeah,
Speaker 8: it's just a really hard thing to like jump into.
Speaker 8: But if it's it's like you're the best man at
Speaker 8: that person's wedding and you know you saw uh, you
Speaker 8: know her with the tennis instructors something like, there's a
Speaker 8: threshold for it, but I think it's got to be
Speaker 8: pretty high.
Speaker 4: Those tennis instructors, by the way, Wow, there's a lot
Speaker 4: of infidelity with the with the tennis teachers. Multiple especially
Speaker 4: play tennis, especially in the I know people, That's what
Speaker 4: I mean, right, I know people.
Speaker 5: Friends and neighbors.
Speaker 6: You know, that shows they're very bored in the suburbs.
Speaker 8: You know, it's like and like that's that's the thing.
Speaker 8: And then I don't know if you guys ever see
Speaker 8: that guy pee guy on.
Speaker 1: Watched him.
Speaker 8: That's like one of the big themes always is like yeah, wife,
Speaker 8: he's you know, doing two days with the tennis instructor's happy.
Speaker 5: But like he's making that joke because that's like a thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, what about the old saying, once a cheater, always
Speaker 2: a cheater. Do you think that's true? Or can people change?
Speaker 4: I think people of all, they can redeem themselves to
Speaker 4: become better. I think there's growth with age, you know.
Speaker 4: I think if you cheat any your twenties, you know,
Speaker 4: men are still kind of developing their brains in the
Speaker 4: early twenties, and you know you have more to.
Speaker 1: Lose as you get older. Yeah, and you have a family,
Speaker 1: you have kids, you know. I think it's different.
Speaker 6: What do you guys think, Well, how about if you're
Speaker 6: in your forties?
Speaker 1: Different?
Speaker 6: Yeah? Different, right?
Speaker 1: Different.
Speaker 6: I think I just think that it's situational, Like it
Speaker 6: depends on the person, right, Like.
Speaker 1: I see the people I know who are cheaters or
Speaker 1: serial cheaters.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and whoever they're with me too, Yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 6: doesn't matter if she's a five or a ten. It's yeah,
Speaker 6: they it's something about them. It's like an addiction. Yes, right,
Speaker 6: it's just a cheater addiction.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And by the way, just going back to something you said,
Speaker 2: you said, most people don't want to know if someone's
Speaker 2: doing as my friends, please tell me.
Speaker 1: Okay, if my world.
Speaker 3: Blows up overnight, if I as long as I know.
Speaker 1: The truth, that's not good.
Speaker 3: I don't want my world to blow up overnight.
Speaker 2: Bill, But you and I hope we stay together forever
Speaker 2: and every are the one thing though that we tear.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I'm just as bad as my ex.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: I agree with you.
Speaker 2: So I'm not even saying, like Bill, I would never cheer,
Speaker 2: you never cheat on me. It's like it's so funny.
Speaker 2: So Bill and I I never ever ever, like look
Speaker 2: at his messages. I'm never insecure. He can do whatever
Speaker 2: he wants you and go wherever he wants, just because
Speaker 2: I'm really confident.
Speaker 4: All like I don't even know my pass codes and stuff.
Speaker 4: She has this APPA.
Speaker 3: No, that's not why, but.
Speaker 2: Because we never say to each other, Okay, well, everything
Speaker 2: gonna be okay. I hope you don't cheat on me, like,
Speaker 2: I hope you don't have to be worried about anything,
Speaker 2: do I We never do that because I think we
Speaker 2: just I think you know who you are and I
Speaker 2: know who I am, and I know like I wouldn't
Speaker 2: cheat on you, and you know what, you wouldn't shoot
Speaker 2: on me.
Speaker 3: But if it ever did happen, can you guys please
Speaker 3: tell me?
Speaker 4: Would you want to know when we when we were
Speaker 4: about to get married, I was going to go to
Speaker 4: dinner with this lifelong girlfriend of mine and you're like,
Speaker 4: what what?
Speaker 1: Like now, we've been friends.
Speaker 4: Like college, like we've been very close friends, platonic and
Speaker 4: she made me bring someone to the dinner and none
Speaker 4: of my friends were available, and I wound up calling
Speaker 4: like this seventy year old buddy of mine like we
Speaker 4: have cigars together. I'm like, hey, you want to come
Speaker 4: to dinner And my friend's like, why is this older
Speaker 4: man having dinner with us tonight?
Speaker 1: From your previous relationship?
Speaker 2: Kid, I was about to say, I don't want to name.
Speaker 1: But like this is going to be really fricking weird.
Speaker 2: Because it was at the beginning of the relationship and
Speaker 2: I think I did have you know, a little stress
Speaker 2: PTSD from him cheating, and it was like such a shock.
Speaker 2: So you're right, But now all these years later, do
Speaker 2: I ever question anything.
Speaker 3: Never?
Speaker 9: He doesn't have to go out with the chaperone anymore.
Speaker 2: No, kid, he does not have to go no more chaperones.
Speaker 2: If the guy is not introducing you to our girls,
Speaker 2: on introducing you to our friends, that is definitely a red.
Speaker 1: Flag in your current marriage or only marriage.
Speaker 4: Kate, how long did it take for your husband to
Speaker 4: introduce you to his friends and his family?
Speaker 3: Great question.
Speaker 9: I think it was our second date.
Speaker 1: Second date, okay, yeah, and then.
Speaker 9: I met you guys soon after.
Speaker 1: Yes you did.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to be in a relationship with an insecure person.
Speaker 1: It's the worse.
Speaker 4: I think it's also the partner who has to help
Speaker 4: with that insecurity and make that person feel secure, right,
Speaker 4: So I think it cuts both ways. So perhaps if
Speaker 4: you're insecure in a relationship, it may not be your fault.
Speaker 4: It may be the person you're dating is not providing
Speaker 4: you with the affection and the love and the attention
Speaker 4: that you should have in that relationship.
Speaker 7: And then it's probably not the right relationship.
Speaker 4: No, I'm being honest, like I've been in relationships where
Speaker 4: I felt insecure and it's like, oh, well I wasn't.
Speaker 1: You know, I wasn't, But it's the wrong relationship. It
Speaker 1: was the wrong relationship. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think it was Maya Angelou. And someone shows you
Speaker 4: who they are, you got to believe them, you know.
Speaker 4: That was her famous quote, and I think that's true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone shows you their true colors. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 2: great quote.
Speaker 6: I feel like sometimes insecurities within people stem from like upbringing.
Speaker 6: You know, maybe they're insecure because they never had the
Speaker 6: affection or the love from you know, their family, their parents, like,
Speaker 6: it could be multiple reasons. I feel that everybody has
Speaker 6: a level of insecurity. It just depends on how you
Speaker 6: portray that insecurity. Like a lot of people are insecure
Speaker 6: in communications with you know, their other half or their partner,
Speaker 6: right because they don't want to fight. But it's part
Speaker 6: of insecurity as well. You're afraid to have a meaningful,
Speaker 6: true conversation that needs to happen, but you're insecure, and
Speaker 6: that leads to other things.
Speaker 4: The men here, I'm going to ask you guys this question.
Speaker 4: You know, if you have a buddy who's married, you
Speaker 4: know and out having affairs, You pull them aside and
Speaker 4: be like what the are you doing? Or do you
Speaker 4: not bring it up? Like hey man, like this isn't cool?
Speaker 4: Like I don't because if you're going to cheat on
Speaker 4: your wife and your kids, you're gonna cheat on me
Speaker 4: as a friend or as a business partner or and
Speaker 4: I think you owe them that respect, although then it
Speaker 4: violates the bro code, you know, like where do you
Speaker 4: how do you feel on that?
Speaker 7: I'd like to say that of course, you pull the
Speaker 7: person aside and you have that conversation. It's not always
Speaker 7: the easiest thing to do. They don't always want they
Speaker 7: don't ever want the conversation, and they know what they're doing.
Speaker 1: There's no surprises. They know they're being shitty, so they
Speaker 1: don't need you to tell them.
Speaker 7: You just sort of put a mental note in your head,
Speaker 7: so you know more about this person than you did
Speaker 7: before and you move forward accordingly.
Speaker 5: I think it also again it's situation. It's situational.
Speaker 8: I think that it depends a how close you are
Speaker 8: with that person and what you know about the dynamic,
Speaker 8: because sometimes again there's things that are happening that you
Speaker 8: have no idea about.
Speaker 1: They might have an arrangement.
Speaker 9: I think with like the serial cheaters too, that people
Speaker 9: may know them socially, but they're maybe not great friends
Speaker 9: with them. The serial cheater never has like the really
Speaker 9: great friends because they can't they can't manage their relationships.
Speaker 9: So we might like a group of people might know
Speaker 9: them socially, but no one's extremely tight with them.
Speaker 2: Interesting if it was me and like it was my
Speaker 2: good friend and suddenly she started on this pattern and
Speaker 2: was like having an affair or cheating, I mean, at
Speaker 2: some point I think I'm her good friend. That's one
Speaker 2: of my duties is to actually help her. If you
Speaker 2: want to be with this other person, just let your
Speaker 2: husband go or your boyfriend go.
Speaker 3: You got to be honest with them. It's not right, Bill.
Speaker 1: Don't you think I would hope?
Speaker 4: So you know, I mean speaking in our relationship, I
Speaker 4: would want to know. I would want to be able
Speaker 4: to move on and you know, yeah, I'd rather that
Speaker 4: than you cheat on me.
Speaker 8: You know, the related the related thing on that is
Speaker 8: a lot of times with those relationships and every friend
Speaker 8: is like, oh, you know, I knew or this person
Speaker 8: was so bad for you, like and then that's always
Speaker 8: where people are like, well, why didn't you tell me
Speaker 8: in the time. And and you know, the reason people
Speaker 8: don't do it a lot of times is because if
Speaker 8: they do work things out, you know, and it gets
Speaker 8: back to their partner, then it's like, oh, that's the
Speaker 8: person that like trying to you know, bust our relationship
Speaker 8: like people have that.
Speaker 5: That happens a lot.
Speaker 6: It creates drama and confrontation. Yeah, and trust sometimes trust.
Speaker 7: Or if you tell the spout or if you tell
Speaker 7: them your husband your wife is cheating on you and
Speaker 7: they end up staying with them or going back to them,
Speaker 7: then they're embarrassed to be with you and poisons the world.
Speaker 2: The other Yes, the flip side, which you just brought up,
Speaker 2: is a much tougher scenario. So I was saying it
Speaker 2: more like if it was my best friend and and
Speaker 2: she was doing the cheating, I'd be like, dude, you've
Speaker 2: got to make some life changes here, like just figure
Speaker 2: this out. Like if it's my best friend's husband, that
Speaker 2: makes it a lot tougher. I mean, best friend, of
Speaker 2: course I might have to tell her, But if it's
Speaker 2: a friend's husband, it's like that's tougher because if they
Speaker 2: stay together, you're the one.
Speaker 7: And then you're usually out, you're out there.
Speaker 2: That's why the anonymous email, back to the anonymous letter,
Speaker 2: anonymous email.
Speaker 3: But I think that yeah, I don't know. The whole
Speaker 3: thing is so crazy, is.
Speaker 9: Not Juliana Ransick? Yeahho do cat.
Speaker 2: Email?
Speaker 1: How do you know when you're with someone that is
Speaker 1: not a cheater? You know what?
Speaker 4: What are the signs of someone who is loyal? You
Speaker 4: know that you can yourself, but you.
Speaker 1: Know, open book, having the code yes house is or
Speaker 1: girlfriend or boyfriend's cell phone.
Speaker 3: Number, like I think an open book.
Speaker 2: I think when you find the person that you want
Speaker 2: to be with and that you're going to marry and
Speaker 2: that you're super confident in, that's when you're just okay,
Speaker 2: open book.
Speaker 1: I don't think the majority of people are cheaters, right.
Speaker 7: I think most people, if they're in a relationship with someone,
Speaker 7: they want to be in a relationship with that person, yes,
Speaker 7: and they want to put all their energy into that.
Speaker 7: So it's only when things go askew somewhere that things change.
Speaker 7: But most people that I at least post people that
Speaker 7: I know, seem pretty happy and stable and comfortable in
Speaker 7: their relationships.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I think some of the cheaters are cheating
Speaker 6: because they're unhappy obviously, but sexually they're not fulfilled. There's
Speaker 6: a lot of marriages where sex is a big issue,
Speaker 6: like they don't have sex anymore, and we all know
Speaker 6: men need sex, right like, so they they need to
Speaker 6: fussings to women.
Speaker 2: I'm good, just put on like Love Island UK episode
Speaker 2: thirty nine hundred and I'm fine.
Speaker 6: We've got our dogs and our kids and this kid.
Speaker 3: I love the dogs.
Speaker 6: But anyways, yes, I think a lot of not saying
Speaker 6: all men or you know, all women, but they're just
Speaker 6: not sexually fulfilled. Instead of having this conversation with your
Speaker 6: other have hey I'm not sexually fulfilled and.
Speaker 4: It's well, but I think some men want the strange,
Speaker 4: you know, they want the new, the excitement.
Speaker 1: That's what I don't get same like that.
Speaker 7: But that's that's when the flings come in in the
Speaker 7: random one night's stamp things. And I don't think those
Speaker 7: guys and we know those guys are looking to leave
Speaker 7: their wives or leave their family.
Speaker 1: No, it's a one off thing. Sometimes you have to see.
Speaker 8: Shack was on a podcast recently and he had this
Speaker 8: like unbelievable.
Speaker 5: So the hostess was like, is it possible.
Speaker 8: For one of these NBA superstars to actually be monogamous,
Speaker 8: and Check basically was like no, and he goes, but
Speaker 8: in my experience, there's three types of cheaters. I may
Speaker 8: butcher this, but I'll get some of it right. The
Speaker 8: first one was the it was basically the serial cheater. Right,
Speaker 8: this person like every time they go to another city,
Speaker 8: they have the rules lined up.
Speaker 5: They're just gonna do that.
Speaker 8: There is no if aans or butts, it's just part
Speaker 8: of the program. And that their wife either knows or doesn't.
Speaker 8: But it's just they're gonna be no matter who they're with,
Speaker 8: they're always going to be that cheater. The second one
Speaker 8: he calls the James Bond cheater, and he goes, this is, uh,
Speaker 8: you know, you're in a hotel room and you're at
Speaker 8: the hotel bar on the road in Portland and you're
Speaker 8: you're just sitting there and some little thing comes up
Speaker 8: and it's like a one night stand. You never talked
Speaker 8: to them again, and it's like the James Bond cheater
Speaker 8: and you're just onto the next one and you know
Speaker 8: you had that night, never spoken about again, never no
Speaker 8: additional context. And then the third one he's like, there's
Speaker 8: also the ones that are the guys that are forced
Speaker 8: to cheat and the host is like, what do you
Speaker 8: mean forced to cheat?
Speaker 5: You know, you're on the road for seven days.
Speaker 8: You come back, your wife's bitching about, you know, ten
Speaker 8: different things, like they're not in the mood to you know,
Speaker 8: to be in a mint with you, to take care
Speaker 8: of you, and all of a sudden you're just like, well,
Speaker 8: what the fuck am I doing? Like I'm on the road,
Speaker 8: I'm trying to be good and I come home to
Speaker 8: this rationally and they rationalize it, and you know, I
Speaker 8: think that's like that's probably like that was a really
Speaker 8: interesting list.
Speaker 5: I think, yeah, that.
Speaker 2: Is interesting if there's like intimacy missing in the relationship
Speaker 2: and one half of the relationship is not fulfilled. Instead
Speaker 2: of keeping like pushing each other away away, away away,
Speaker 2: come together and figure out how do we solve this
Speaker 2: problem before mistakes are made? Right?
Speaker 3: Is that? Basically?
Speaker 8: I think communications like really important there too. If there's
Speaker 8: something you know to your point you're not getting Like
Speaker 8: if you don't tell the person that you can't fix
Speaker 8: problems that you don't know exist.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because in.
Speaker 6: All honesty, I think a lot of problems that arise
Speaker 6: in a relationship is because they one feels like they're
Speaker 6: not fulfilled, right, and so then there's a pile of
Speaker 6: issues that pile up because you have a lack of communication.
Speaker 6: And I mean, I get it. It's hard to have
Speaker 6: to difficult conversations with your other half. It's hard. I
Speaker 6: mean it's much easier to have conversations with your friends,
Speaker 6: right because there's like no judgment and there's no emotions.
Speaker 6: But when it comes to your husband or your wife
Speaker 6: and you're talking about something serious like this, it's like, well,
Speaker 6: it's your fault. No, it's your fault. It's blame. You know,
Speaker 6: all you do is blame each other. And where is
Speaker 6: that going to go?
Speaker 1: Nowhere?
Speaker 6: Nowhere? So there needs to be needs to be checked out, correct, correct,
Speaker 6: and most people don't know how to do that. I
Speaker 6: mean I have a hard time doing that. I'm not
Speaker 6: gonna lie.
Speaker 4: Well, I think the bottom line is don't cheat, folks. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you get.
Speaker 1: One takeaway here.
Speaker 4: Life's a lot easier when you take the high road
Speaker 4: and you communicate like.
Speaker 8: Just being honest, being the same person, and like all
Speaker 8: the time it's just you know, you asked earlier about
Speaker 8: the like red flags that you see, and I remember
Speaker 8: my very first job, like trading on the floor of
Speaker 8: the Chicago Board of Trade. First day of work, are
Speaker 8: the managing partner of the firm goes, it's only two things.
Speaker 8: We can fire you for one if you're ever late
Speaker 8: opening Bolls eight thirty. Never missed that, but too if
Speaker 8: you lie about anything. It's like, if you lie about
Speaker 8: little things, you lie about the big things. And I've
Speaker 8: just seen that like at work in relationships, that just
Speaker 8: is consistently true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you just are honest about it, there's nothing
Speaker 2: that I think a couple can't overcome, right, And the
Speaker 2: couple might just decide, hey, then we should split up,
Speaker 2: you know, And that's better than just like going down
Speaker 2: this horrible path of lies and deception and pain. It's like,
Speaker 2: just what the hell does that lead to?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: One lie leads to another one.
Speaker 2: To just be honest, don't cheat, and tell the person
Speaker 2: he's got.
Speaker 5: The mental capacity to remember all those.
Speaker 1: The older you get to, the harder it is.
Speaker 6: People say in reality, hey guys, or hey, by the way,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna cheat.
Speaker 3: To me, you know, don't imagine if they did a
Speaker 3: lot of problems.
Speaker 6: Thanks for telling you.
Speaker 2: I've told you I have a BS in Relationship Expertise
Speaker 2: Psychology because absolutely.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much. We appreciate the.
Speaker 2: Time, thanks for listening.
Speaker 3: Bye guys,